Sycophant
by DiscordantHarmony426
Summary: What would you do for your family? Would you take the blame for something they did? Would you take over for them if they forgot to do something? Would you stand up for them, even if it meant getting exiled or ostracized from other members of your own family? This story is about how one sister's love for her brother impacts the rest of their family...for better or worse...
1. Prelude To Dysfunction

Royal Woods… a small neighborhood of people just 12 miles from Detroit. It's a normally peaceful existence where the residents just go on about their day all carefree like. While there are some…deplorable individuals in the community, there is only one known "criminal" in the area. If you could even call him that.

"Hey, who's callin' me a criminal?! I prefer the term "entrepreneurial businessman!"" A rotund man with grey hair, a grey mustache and a red shirt bellows to the heavens as if God himself was passing judgement on this lowly gas station/convenience store manager.

"Yes, Flip." The voice cynically quipped; "And I prefer the term "greedy extortionist." Seriously, if those two interns you hired released that security camera footage, you'd be done in this town… In fact, why hasn't OSHA started investigating you?"

The mere mention of OSHA terrifies Flip back into working, but 2 black vans surround the gas station and people that look like government agents come out.

"Attention, Flip! We are from the Occupational Safety and Health Administration! We have a warrant to allow us to check your business for an impromptu health inspection!"

"Well it seems like he'll be busy for a while, but as I said, there are no real problems here and…" (notices a familiar decrepit looking blue van in front of a building with a cross on it)

"Oh boy, this isn't going to be good, let's see what happened this time…"

The scene changes to the inside of the Royal Woods General Hospital, the sound of electrocardiograms and frantic footsteps of the medical personnel deafen the building.

A man wearing a dark green shirt hurriedly runs up to the receptionist counter. The woman at the counter says:

"Oh, it's you, Lynn, did it happen again?" She slyly says to the man as she gestures to the ladies in the waiting room. There were 9 of them all trying to stave off boredom. With all these girls, you might confuse Lynn for a protagonist in a harem anime, but this isn't that kind of show, for you see, Lynn is actually their dad (yes, for all nine of them)!

"Ha ha, very funny." Lynn retorted "I came here to check on one of my daughters."

While the two adults were talking, a lone boy joined the group of girls. He had white hair, which is odd, because his dad has brown hair and his mother had blonde hair, nevertheless, he is still related to all of them. He looks directly at you, dear reader, and says:

"What's up? The sky." The boy said, stating the obvious answer

A girl with pale brown hair and a yellow skirt laughs at the boy's deadpan statement.

"Good one, Linc!" The girl stated.

The boy resumed speaking: "Hey reader, Lincoln Loud here. I know that you people usually look to me to try to make sense of what's going on but…I actually don't know what's going on, all dad told us is that one of us got hurt…I'm afraid I don't know any more than that…"

"But I do." said a soft, yet gravelly, female voice; "Where am I?" Well, in the hospital, silly." I will tell you everything, but for that we need to start at the beginning."

 **Crashing through the crowded halls  
** **Dodging girls like ping-pong balls  
** **Just to reach the bathroom on time  
** **Leaping over laundry piles  
** **Diapers you can smell for miles  
** **Guy's gotta do what he can to survive!  
** **In the Loud House, in the Loud House  
** **Duck, dodge, push and shove  
** **Is how we show our love!  
** **In the Loud House, in the Loud House!  
** **one boy and ten girls  
** **Wouldn't trade it for the world!  
** **Loud, House, Loud, Loud House!  
** **Poo-poo**


	2. The Loud House Redux

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana explains to us how things work in The Loud House**

* * *

"Well, here we are." The voice says in a soothing manner "My room is the first one on the right."

(You backtrack and enter the door behind you)

"No, what are you doing? That's my brother's room! Once you exit the room, enter the door on the right."

(You leave the admittedly tiny room and enter the room on the right…)

"So, you want some answers to what's going on…well, come on over so I can tell you!"

(You approach one of the girls, a blonde one with a pink dress and a black tiara, she notices you)

"Hey, you! What are you doing here?! I didn't ask for visitors! Or are you just a fan? Well, too bad! I'm not signing autographs right now! Now, get out!"

"Lola, they're here to see me."

The pink one and you look to the other side of the room and see another girl. This one has her hair in pigtails. She's wearing a sickly green colored shirt with overalls covering them, she is also wearing a red cap.

"Here…to see…you?" Lola said incredulously. She bursts into laughter…

"Why would anyone want to see you, when they can see me, the more beautiful of the Loud House twins, Lola Loud?"

With that, the narcissistic girl left and headed down the hall toward the bathroom, no doubt getting primped up for yet another beauty pageant.

* * *

"Sorry about that, reader." The girl said "She really doesn't like people she can't blackmail. I mean, she can't blackmail me or Lincoln, and we usually suffer her wrath…whether it's listening to her whiny chatter or getting a beatdown…but enough with that, so here's what's going on…"

You start to notice that this twin has the same voice as the mysterious voice from the hospital. What was her name again?

"I'm Lana Loud, the fourth youngest of the Loud family, and you already know about what happens here, because Lincoln tells you, doesn't he?"

She mimics his voice. "Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a large family? Well, so does my teacher. I can sum up my family in one word: chaos!"

Lana chuckles and reverts back to using her normal voice. "He's not wrong, with eleven siblings, it's a constant struggle just to get through the end of the day in your own house, that's not even taking in to consideration school…"

You wonder how Lana is going to tell you what happens next. After all, even with 11 siblings, it still shouldn't be as bad as what she's saying, right?

She continues "It's no secret that we get into fights a lot. After all, it's a reason why we're called the Loud family. It's no wonder why our grouchy neighbor yells at us all the time. Ironically, he's just as loud as us. But despite all of our fights, we usually get to make up afterwards. Take the Fatal Four for example."

You wonder what the heck the Fatal Four are… then you remember…the Loud House is a cartoon with syndicated episodes, and each experience must be an episode, so the episodes with fights in them…

Lana nods sadly at your deliberation "Looks like you know what's up. The first of the Fatal Four is when we wanted Lincoln to do stuff with. I…actually didn't need him for anything, but he did help find Izzy for me. It all went downhill when Lola found out about those earbuds…"

* * *

"Lana"

"What, Lola?"

"Are you even paying attention?! We are going to get Lincoln back for ignoring us, are you going to help?"

"No"

"What? Why! He ignored you!"

"I didn't need him for anything."

"Maybe this will change your mind."

Lola shows Lana a picture of…something.

"… Fine, but I'm still against your plan, this can only end badly."

* * *

Lana proceeds with the rest of the story "We all temporarily lost our hearing because of Lisa's experiment. Once Lincoln could hear again, Lola gave him an earful. What changed after that day? Lincoln returned those earbuds and we bugged him less often.

You remember it vividly, that was the eleventh episode of the show, Sound of Silence…you make a mental note not to ever mess with Lola…she's scary.

Lana starts another story: "The second of the Fatal Four…that happened when our dad made an elaborate scavenger hunt where the prize was $500 dollars! That was a mistake for him…doesn't he know what happens when you put money in front of people? Long story short, we brutalized the house and each other, just like how _Viacom_ brutalizes _SpongeBob_ ; And for the same reason too! That saying is right: "Money is the root of all evil!" Luckily, Lincoln and I convinced Lisa to make a special coin counting jar that splits up the money elevenfold between us. Just to let you know, I still have my $45.45 in there!"

You sneak a glance at the dining room. On one of the dressers is the money jar. It has $166.50 in it and it says to take $15.14 out. This is still better than what happened in episode twenty-six, It's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House.

Lana rattles off another story: "These next 2…everyone hates, myself included. I'll just cut to the chase, the third Fatal Four incident is Brawl in The Family."

You hear what sounds like an earthquake…could the mere mention of episode 57 make even Mother Nature try to destroy it?!

"Good news, that wasn't an earthquake; Bad news, it's an angry mob of fans that got triggered by how terrible this episode was. Why do I hate it? It's a way for the writers to try to perform a character assassination on me! That incident made me worse than Lola! The only good thing that came out of it was that the sister fight protocol is now completely gone! It didn't work (as you could see). I took it upon myself to make an even better version of it, but it's still a work in progress.

Lana takes a deep breath and looks you in the eye. "And the last of the Fatal Four…is why we're here now. I…I'll just show you the title card and you'll understand…

She shows you the title card of episode 66, you revile in abject horror and you even do your best _Darth Vader_ "NO" scream… It's THAT episode, the one worse than Brawl in The Family…

Lana asks dejectedly "Are you satisfied with that answer?"

The title card falls on the ground, you see it…

"No Such Luck"


	3. Vehicular Manslaughter

**Chapter Synopsis: The Loud family return from their beach trip after the infamous "No Such Luck" incident, but one of the sisters tells Lincoln what she really thinks of him...**

* * *

We see that the Loud family has just returned from their beach day. They had it to celebrate how well their dad's presentation went. Their mother also helped back to back root canal patients (though a nice gesture, why would you celebrate removing someone else's root canals? The place where the root canal was would've just got infected, as it would have if the canal was left in, either way, that person's going to have a bad time, no wonder kids think dentists are just a legal way to torture people…).

"Ah, that was the best day ever." Lola said

"If only you let me invite Bobby over, then this would have been a perfect day!" A blond-haired teenager in a cyan tank-top stated to her father

"Look Lori…" Lynn began to say "I like Roberto, but this trip is for family members only."

"You should have invited him. After all, he's going to be your future son-in-law." Lori said to herself in a hushed whisper

"What was that, Lori?"

"Nothing, dad."

"Good, anyone else want to talk about their day today?"

A child in a wearing a dark green sweater adjusted her glasses and said "Well, patriarchal unit, our excursion to the beach was a rousing success. We managed to be lucky enough to arrive when the weather was 298.15 K and the ocean temperature was 22°C when it should be 16.6°C normally. Also, my prototype sunscreen works perfectly, it blocks 100% of all of the sun's rays; ultraviolet, gamma, radio, microwave, infrared and even light itself! I call it the Vantablack Wavelength Disruptor Sunscreen or VWDS for short. I can already see myself getting another Nobel Prize for this! An unfortunate side effect is the wearer may develop heliophobia…"

"And what does that mean in Latin, Lisa?" A brown-haired girl snidely remarked at the genius. This girl was wearing an athletic jersey on it with the number "1" on it, but she isn't a certain lanky purple wearing man with black hair that enjoys laziness and hates health food who's name rhymes with Lori's boyfriend. In fact, she's the polar opposite!

"Fitis timere ex solis, Lynn." Lisa shot back with a smug look on her face

Lynn is dumfounded. She didn't expect Lisa to actually speak in Latin. She just tried to use reverse psychology on her to try to make her explain it so that non-geniuses could understand it. Maybe she found out about the ruse…

Lisa clarifies "It means you become afraid of sunlight."

Suddenly, a girl with black hair perks up.

"Like a vampire?"

"…I suppose, but the user would not get any supernatural powers, as if such a thing could even exist. Though it does mean that getting staked would have the same effect on a human as it does a vampire."

The girl with light brown hair chimes up…

"Looks like that was a high _stakes_ game!"

Everyone groans in response…

"Luan!"

Their mother begins to speak; "Lincoln, how did you enjoy the trip?"

"It was great, mom. Except for the fact that I…" His voice increases in pitch "…didn't get to do anything because of this stupid mascot costume! I didn't even get to enjoy the day; I couldn't even be allowed to take the head off! Do you people…know how hot it gets in there?! You might as well put me in a spring-lock squirrel suit and kick me out on a rainy day! Maybe seeing my mutilated corpse will teach you guys a lesson!"

Everyone just stares at him…shocked that he would subject himself to a treatment not even a serial killer deserves (even if it was karmic and oh, so satisfying, it's still a horrible way to die, at least the killer's victims were **DEAD** before being shoved into a suit)!

Lola is the first to speak up "You know… maybe you're right… I'll have Lisa draw up schematics for a spring-lock squirrel suit, right Lis?"

"You do know what the word "hyperbole" means, right?" Lisa inquired "It means "exaggeration."" Lisa says her next sentence with a quavering voice "Lola… are you saying… we'd be better off… If Lincoln was dead?"

Everyone looks at her with a menacing glare, Lola slinks back into her car seat, knowing what she just said made everyone turn on her.

Lincoln is still reeling from disbelief. Lola pretty much said that the family is better off if he's dead. He just said that as a catharsis, to release all the pent-up frustration of having to wear that stupid suit, but this just confirms his worst fears! In fact, it's worse that Lola didn't say anything! At least if she said yes, Lincoln would accept it (before crying and running away from home or locking his closet/room and committing suicide by self-lynching).

* * *

Once everyone's eyes are looking away from Lola, Lincoln begins to sob inside the suit. Just when Lincoln has lost the will to go on anymore, a voice speaks up:

"Are you ok?"

Lincoln looks around for the source of the voice, it gave him something he needed desperately…hope. For once, someone actually gives a damn about what happens to him! Someone actually has pity on him for his selfish deed 3 days ago when he exacerbated that white lie about being bad luck, even though he did apologize for it…

"Yes, look I'm sorry I lied about being bad luck, I just wanted some time to myself after supporting you guys for seven straight days."

"It's ok… I understand. My roommate drives me crazy too…I actually knew about this, but I still wanted you to come to my important thing. I could have chosen anyone, but I asked you first, Linc."

"Why is that?"

"Because you're my brother, Lincoln! I look up to you, so I wanted you to be the first to see me accomplish something."

Lincoln feels like an even bigger jerk now. Someone actually **LOOKED UP TO HIM** and he turned them down for some alone time. He feels like the scum of the Earth.

"Hey, don't feel guilty about it! Everyone else came and supported me! It was great! I actually won at my event! I even got a trophy for it!"

Somehow, Lincoln feels more depressed about this…it's probably because he never achieved anything worthwhile in his life. Sure, his sisters gave him that "Most Improved Brother" award, but that felt like it was given out of pity more than anything. He can't exactly place "got the high score in Super Mega Turbo Brawlers XXVIIII" on a job resumé's "Commendations and Achievements" section. (Though to be fair, this person's achievement wouldn't be on a job resumé, either).

"Are you feeling bad because you didn't earn a trophy to put in the case? Don't worry, this one is my first. You'll get yours eventually, Linc!"

"Thanks, I feel slightly better now. Now who are you?"

"Don't mess with me like that, Lincoln!" The voice said playfully "We hang out all the time!"

Vanzilla finally arrives at the Loud House at 1216 Franklin Ave, Royal Woods, Michigan. The family exits the van and prepares to enter the house.

"Lincoln, we feel bad for making you wear the suit, so you can remove it and we won't make you wear it for a week, right girls?"

"Right!" They all shouted in unison

"Woo hoo! Thanks mom!" Lincoln shouted

* * *

Lola tries to make it to her room, but Lynn Sr is blocking her from entering.

"You didn't think we'd forget about what you just said back there, didn't you?"

"But daddy, I…" Lola tries to say.

"You're grounded for a week for saying we'd be better off if Lincoln was dead." Lynn Sr said in a tranquil, yet firm manner. "You need to learn that actions have consequences, young lady."

"Yes, daddy." Lola responded sadly

* * *

While Lola walks off dejectedly to her room, we see a shadow sneaking around, it seems to be eyeing Lincoln a lot…

"You've always been there, protecting me."

"It seems like they're against you again."

"But don't worry, it's time for your younger sister to protect you."

"I will clear your name."

"They won't see you as bad luck anymore, and you won't have to wear that suit ever again."

"Even if everyone else hates you, I will still love you."

"…Tomorrow is going to be interesting."

The shadow approaches Lincoln. We see more and more of their body enveloped in light; It speaks to him:

"Lincoln, do you remember me?"

Lincoln responds by saying "That voice, you're the one that cheered me up while we were in the van…yes, I remember you, but I still don't know who you are."

"Turn around and find out."

Lincoln turns around, he sees one of his sisters and says only one word:

"Lana?"


	4. Trinity Of Violence

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana explains her plan of dispelling the superstitions to Lincoln, but we already know that we shouldn't be talking about someone who's listening...**

* * *

We see that Lana and Lincoln are now in Lincoln's room. They are discussing how to dispel the plague of superstition that Lynn Jr has just corrupted the family's minds with.

"Isn't it great?" Lincoln stated "Mom said I don't have to wear the suit for an entire week! Even the other sisters agreed on it. I can't remember the last time ALL of them agreed on the same thing." Lincoln's face is positively beaming at this fact, but Lana has a skeptical look on her face.

"That is great, but it's only for a week." Lana said

"What do you mean?"

"The sisters only agreed to that because of that little problem that Lola caused. They only said that to make you feel better… I'm scared that…once the week is over, they'll just use you as a good luck charm again."

This brutal honesty cuts Lincoln like a knife. He thought that his sisters did this because they care about his well-being, and not his supposed "luck". Would he have to wear the suit next time he's forced to attend one of his sister's events? Was it a good thing Lola said what she did?

"At least I see you as our brother and not some idol to worship." Lana sarcastically remarked

"So how are you going to show I'm not bad luck to the rest of them?" Lincoln questioned

"Once the week is over, our sisters will still see that suit as good luck… First, I'll ask Lisa to install a cooling system in the suit. After all, you said it gets hot wearing it all day, right?"

"Seems like a great idea, but how are you going to convince Lisa?"

"I'll figure something out, next is to convince our sisters to join our team, there's strength in numbers; Right now, it's 11 against 2, with us as the "2". Of course, convincing the members of the Trinity will be the hardest."

"Trinity?"

Lana goes into greater detail "Yes, the Trinity of Violence. It's a cool nickname I came up with for the three most violent members of the family. Well…violent to you. Anyway, here are their dossiers:"

* * *

 **Lori Loud  
** **Age: 17  
** **Likes: Bobby  
** **Dislikes: Clyde  
** **Threat Level: moderate (normal), atomic (angry)  
** **Role: leader**

 **Lynn Loud Jr  
** **Age: 13  
** **Likes: sports (all of them), carbo-loading, winning, gothic poetry (from Lucy)?  
** **Dislikes: comics, laziness, losing  
** **Threat Level: dangerous  
** **Role: enforcer**

 **Lola Loud  
** **Age: 6  
** **Likes: herself, winning, shiny tiaras  
** **Dislikes: being dirty  
** **Threat level: dangerous (normal), atomic (angry)  
** **Role: manipulator  
** **Note: has a short fuse, is quick to anger**

* * *

"Ok, so convincing them will be very hard."

"Yes, but it's necessary, once all 13 family members have been convinced that you aren't bad luck, then we can put this situation behind us and move on with our lives. Lynn will be the hardest to convince, because not only is she a member of the Trinity, she is also the one who started this lie about you being bad luck in the first place! You just… "added fuel to the fire", though that certainly didn't help your case…

"Well…thanks for helping me, Lana."

"No problem, Lincoln; Now you should enjoy your week off."

Lincoln runs downstairs toward the living room to enjoy the week the only way he knows how, by playing video games and reading comic books in his undies. On the way, he passes by Lana and Lola's room. We see that Lola is listening through the wall. The Loud house has incredibly thin walls, so everyone can hear each other. The sound is muffled but Lola was able to hear these words:

"Trinity" "Violence" "Lori" "Lynn" "Lola"

"Me, violent?" Lola scoffed "How dare that Lincoln thinks of me like some barbarian! I have very high standards! And telling my filthy twin, too! Once I'm un-grounded I'll tell Lori and Lynn what he really thinks of us! "Trinity of Violence"? Well, we'll show you just how violent we can be…"

Lana heads out of Lincoln's room and heads to the door on the left, Lisa and Lily's room…

"Well, here goes nothing." Lana said, trying to sound optimistic

She knocks on the door, Lisa responds:

"Enter."

* * *

 **Author's note: The Threat Level system goes in this order: None, Lax, Moderate, Dangerous and Atomic. Seeing a Loud sibling reach an atomic-level threat is extremely rare! If we take Brawl In The Family as an example, the sisters are all at the "Dangerous" threat level during their fights. The only known "Atomic" threat instances so far are the ending of Get The Message, when Lori finds Lincoln's "Why blank/(Lori) is the worst sister ever" letter and threatens to turn Lincoln into a human pretzel (he wisely runs away after hearing this) and the climax of Toads and Tiaras, when Lola ambles all the way over to the pageant building to confront Lincoln about his little ruse. If Lana didn't win, well... Lincoln would probably receive a beatdown from Lola that would be so severe that it would even shock our boy Guzma!**


	5. Cooling System

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana asks Lisa to make the Cooling System for Lincoln, Lisa agrees to do it, on one condition...**

* * *

Lana enters Lisa and Lily's room. It has electrical burn marks everywhere from one of Lisa's many experiments. The room gives off a faint green glow, probably from the enriched isolated uranium (don't worry, Lisa has neutralized the radiation given off by the material's α particle decay, so no one will suffer any of the many side effects of radiation poisoning). In the corner, Lily is sleeping in her crib, looking absolutely adorable. Directly in front of Lana, is Lisa's makeshift laboratory. Lisa is working on some kind of solution with oddly colored liquids…Lana approaches her.

"This better be good, α Twin; I was just about to finish making a cure for cancer." Lisa stated in a condescending tone

"Lisa, I want you to help me help Lincoln by installing a cooling system in that mascot suit." Lana stated "Wait, a cure for cancer? Aren't there about 30 different types of cancer? Which one are you trying to cure?"

"Easy, cellular cancer. This concoction will stop the cells in your body that have fractured DNA strands from activating by unzipping, repairing and re-polymerizing the DNA back together! It will stop all mutations! It will save many human lives!"

"Ok, now about Lincoln…" Lana began to say

"No." Lisa declared

"Why not, Lis?"

"Because, it will take time away from me focusing my precious time and resources on projects that actually matter, like my VWDS or this Cancer Concoction. That last one is a working title, I'll come up with a better name for it later."

"What if a heat wave comes sweeping across Royal Woods while Lincoln is in that suit? He could die from heatstroke! If he dies, the sisters won't have anything to dispel their superstitions!" Lana pleaded, hoping that Lisa would see the obvious problem with this situation.

"Pshaw." Lisa scoffed at Lana's plea "Luck doesn't exist, only skill."

"Then why did you join up with the others against Lincoln?"

"Because even though I am a woman of science, I can't convince people who are so adamant in what they believe in, that they choose to ignore the facts. It's like talking to a brick wall, you're just wasting your breath. Since our athletic sibling started this lie, she could also end it. The problem is that she is so stubborn, she refuses to see the truth, especially if it implicates her in any wrongdoing. That, and I really don't care about Lincoln all that much."

"How could you say that?! He's our only brother!"

"He's a nuisance and a selfish jerk! I agree with Lola; Our probability of familial harmony would go up dramatically in his absence."

"At least he acknowledges when he's selfish. Even Lola does, although in Lola's case it's rare. But you? Did you just feign compassion to emotionally manipulate him? You are worse than Lynn! At least Lynn has the audacity to say she hates Lincoln to his face! You… you're just a coward!"

Lisa is at her breaking point. Just as she's about to evict Lana from her room permanently, she has an epiphany.

Lana…is right…

* * *

Lisa is just a spiteful manipulator who uses science as a mask to hide her true intentions. She's no better than Lola! In fact, she's even worse. At least Lola is capable of showing emotion. Lisa always has a stoic look on her face, but does that mean she literally can't show any emotion, or is it just a façade, a mask to hide her true feelings? Lisa now thinks that everyone will treat her as an uncaring sociopath who enjoys tormenting her siblings. After all, she uses them as test subjects, even if her experiments are most likely illegal, or worse, unethical. This harsh realization causes Lisa to have an emotional breakdown and start sobbing uncontrollably. Lana immediately tries to calm her down.

"Lisa, snap out of it!"

"What…why are you being… so nice to me… after all the horrible things I've done to this family? **WHY** … **DO** … **YOU** … **CARE**?!" Lisa shouted at Lana, while trying to hold back tears.

"Because we are a family, and family always forgives each other, no matter the what the cause of the problem was. Now…" she holds out her hand "…let's start over, will you help me help Lincoln, by installing a cooling system in that mascot suit?" Lana says while trying to use puppy-dog eyes on Lisa. She also tries to look like she's crying for added effectiveness.

Lisa takes Lana's hand, Lana helps her up.

"Ok, I'll do it." Lisa said "On one condition. You have to defeat me in a battle of wits. Chess, to be more specific."

"I think Lincoln has a spare chessboard in his room, I'll go get it so we can play." Lana said, trying to head to Lincoln's door; Lisa grabs her hand and pulls her back.

"That's not the kind of chess I mean."

Lisa taps her forehead with her pointer finger. A virtual reality chessboard shows up, Lana plays white and Lisa plays black, Lisa has a black pawn on the board.

"So, you want to convince our sisters that Lincoln isn't bad luck?" Lisa inquired "This is how you do it, through the greatest weapon a human has in their arsenal, their mind!"

* * *

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!

"Go ahead, ask me a question." Lisa challenged

"Ok, do you secretly admire Lincoln?" Lana responded

A white pawn comes in from Lana's side, it charges at Lisa's black pawn, only to be deflected away!

"No, if anything, he should be admiring me!" Lisa stated proudly "Now, if you'll look at the interface, you just lost 10% of your Truth Timer. The Truth Timer is how long you have to inquire about the person's true motivations. If it runs out, then you take 20% of your Health Meter. If that runs out, you failed to convince them. Luckily for you, though, you can try again! There are exceptions to this, but you'll know them when you see them! Now, try again!"

"Who do you care about?" Lana inquired

"That's for me to know and for you to never find out!" Lisa said with a smug grin "Now, will you press further?" She thought

Lana waits patiently…

"Oh, you've used the "Wait and See" command. You're hoping to read my emotions and nervous tics to get an answer. Well done, you're learning fast!" Lisa commended "Don't wait too long though, wait just until you get something you can use!" But back to your question…

"I know it's strange, but the person I admire… actually has the same dream job as me, to a point."

"At least we're getting somewhere." Lana thought "But I need more information to pursue this line of thinking. Maybe I should try another plan of attack…"

"You just said you were working on a cure for cancer, right?"

"Yes."

"So, that means you want to pursue a job in the biomedical field, am I correct in assuming that?"

"Yes."

"And, before we started this battle of wits, I noticed something on the wall, a diploma? No…It was a medical doctorate! To you, Lisa Loud! Therefore, I can say for 100% certainty, you want to be a doctor when you grow up!"

Lana's white pawn charges Lisa's black pawn, this time though, the black pawn gets hit and shatters!

"Congratulations, Lana! You beat me in a game of Logic Chess!"

"Great, but before we leave, can I ask you do one more thing for me? Can you install a security system to Lincoln's door? I mean you don't have to, but it's just a thought…"

"I… actually want to see where you're going with this, I'll amuse your request with another round of chess, it makes for a great debating tool, but you're going to have to really convince me."

A black bishop appears on Lisa's side!

"Why does Lori have a security system on her door?"

"Why not?"

Lana waits patiently…

"It's because she has valuables she wants to protect." Lisa affirms

"Valuables to protect? This could be a vital clue, I'll keep it in mind…"

"Shouldn't we respect Lincoln's wishes?"

"What are you babbling on about?" Lisa derided

"We always bug him for stuff, when all he wants is some alone time, is that too much for someone to ask?"

Lana's white pawn charges Lisa's black bishop, it hits, but the bishop is still intact!

"What? That was a solid argument! Why didn't that bishop shatter?!" Lana said, exasperated

"Different chess pieces have different health points." Lisa said "Pawns take 1 hit, Kings take 2, Knights 3, Rooks 4, Bishops 5 and Queens 6! It's based on the power the pieces have during an actual chess match!" "Can you come up with 5 solid arguments to shatter my bishop, or will Lincoln have to survive without your security system helping him?" Lisa challenged Lana, a confident look spreads across her face.

"He could always close the door. After all, shouldn't a person have rights in their own house?" Lisa responded

"He did do that, he does that all the time!" Lana retorted back "But it doesn't matter, we just barge in anyway and demand stuff from him! Remember the Noise B Gone fiasco?"

Lana's pawn attacks, the bishop takes another hit, 3 left before it shatters!

"Will you install the security system?" Lana questioned

"Why would Lincoln need a security system?"

"So he can finally have some peace and quiet."

"And if one of our sisters tries to badger him into doing something for them?"

"He can CHOOSE to listen to their request, instead of being buried by 10 different requests at the same time!"

Lana's pawn attacks! 2 hits left!

"Lori has a security system on her door."

"But she doesn't need it, she's the oldest, she can just intimidate anyone who tries to go into her room! You said she had valuables to protect and that's why the system was installed, correct?"

"Yes."

"Ok, then tell me, what items are so important that Lori has to have a security system installed for her room?"

Lana's pawn attacks! 1 attack left before the bishop is shattered!

"Her cellphone."

"The one she uses for Bobby-related activities?"

"Yes."

"That's what's so important? She can just talk to him in person! Lincoln has valuables he has to protect, well, valuable to him, and it's more important than a cellphone that Lori uses to stalk Bobby with!"

"Are you actually claiming...?"

"Yes, his comics are the valuables I'm talking about!"

"That is the most asinine thing I've ever heard of!"

"Are you aware of "collections", Lisa?"

"Yes, it's a hobby that some people who have way too much money on their hands do, the objective is to complete the sets, it's mostly for bragging rights."

"Are you aware that some die-hard collectors are willing to spend wads of cash for rare items in mint condition?"

"Of course, now get to your point already."

"Lincoln's comics are rare, first editions and in mint condition, too. If he waits a few years, he can either keep them, or sell them! And unlike cars, which depreciate as soon as it comes off the factory, comics depreciate a lot slower comparatively. And Lincoln takes really good care of them too, there are no folded pages, fading or tears, the collectors are real finicky about that sort of thing."

Lana's white pawn attacks Lisa's black bishop, the bishop shatters!

Lisa falls down on her knees and sighs "Well done, Lana."

The VR chessboard disappears, Lana and Lisa are back in Lisa and Lily's room.

LOGIC CHESS; COMPLETE!

* * *

"I'll process your requests, Lana. The cooling system will take about a week to make and the security system will take about 4 days, if we're lucky."

"About that security system…" Lana said sheepishly "Can you make it so that it's voice activated and password protected; And make it so that the user can manually turn off the locks through said voice commands?"

"Sure, one thing though…" Lisa began to say

"What is it, Lis?"

"When did you become so…verbose? In that Logic Chess match, you said some articulate words back there, how did your vocabulary expand in such a short amount of time?" Lisa questioned, with a suspicious look on her face

Lana shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know, I guess I must have picked up a few words from you."

Lisa dropped the question, having got a satisfactory answer.

"One more thing."

"What?"

"You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?"

Lisa hates tattletales, though ironically, aside from Lola, she is a well-known tattletale. She did rat out Lincoln to the other sisters when he tried to convince her to keep quiet about his bullying problem. She told Lynn instead…

"Lisa, please! You can't tell! I don't want everyone getting involved."

"Don't worry. I do not have enough room in my brain for this kind of tomfoolery."

"Phew."

"You're being picked on."

"Lisa, I thought you weren't going to say anything."

"No. What I said was I did not have room in my brain for your secret. Hence, I removed it and transferred it to Lynn, whose brain apparently has ample room."

"Thanks…hey!"

But it did turn out well though, if Lisa hadn't told everyone, they wouldn't have convinced Lincoln to try to be nice to his bully, and now, he's got a best friend/girlfriend in Ronnie Anne, but was that luck or fate?

Lana knows she's taking a huge risk by asking Lisa, she could easily betray them to the Trinity, or their parents…but if Lisa helps them, it's a major victory for Lincoln and Lana's group! Lana thinks of a terrible Ace Savvy-related card pun. It's "Playing an Ace of Clubs", meaning it's your " _Trump card_ " but it's also a " _final gambit_ " or a desperation play, but if it works, the person can come "back from the brink" and turn the odds in their favor! Lana heads out of Lisa and Lily's room, with a worried look on her face, now she has only one choice left, to believe in Lisa. The camera pans and zooms out of Lisa and Lily's room, the door closes, leaving Lisa to her work.

* * *

 **What will happen now?! Can Lana convince the other sisters that Lincoln isn't bad luck? Will Lisa be able to finish the Cooling System before the week is up? Will Lincoln finally be able to enjoy some time to himself after "No Such Luck" and the most important question... Can they handle the fallout of Lola forming the Trinity of Violence into a real group? We'll just have to find out...**

 **Author's Note: Lisa wasn't really making a "cure for cancer". It was just a bunch of different fruit juices mixed together. She just said that so that she would seem smarter in her sibling's eyes. After all, not even real world scientists have found a cure for cancer (yet). Also, that Logic Chess thing was taken from a video game called Gyakuten Kenji 2 (or Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Prosecutor's Path). It doesn't matter the strength of the piece/argument; It will still take x amount of hits/arguments to shatter that piece. Say you have a white knight argument take on a black queen, it will still take 6 hits to shatter the queen, and not 2. Only Lisa knows this mechanic comes from Gyakuten Kenji 2; Lana just assumes it's an invention Lisa was working on.**


	6. Bodyswap

**Chapter Synopsis: Lincoln's 1 week of freedom is up, and now the sisters start taking him to their events; Lana sees this and volunteers to cover for him for a day**

* * *

Lincoln's one-week reprieve is up, and it's just as Lana said, as soon as the seventh day ended and the eighth day began, the sisters begin hounding him to go to their events, dressed up in that squirrel suit, of course. Unfortunately, for him, Lisa's cooling system still needs two more days to be fully operational…

"Lincoln! I need you to come with me on my date with Bobby! You'll be my wingman!" Lori said

"There are so many reasons why this plan will fail." Lincoln shot back

"But I need you! If you aren't there, Bobby might break up with me!"

"He'd break up with you if he knew you were treating me like this, after all, he can't date someone related to someone who hurt someone who's related to him, or something like that!" Lincoln recited Bobby's oath (Ironically, Lori said that exact phrase to Lincoln, just to get back together with Bobby).

"You aren't related to Bobby!"

"No, but Ronnie Anne is!"

Lori thought about this for a second and relented. If Bobby saw Lincoln in that suit, he would break up with her because she's making Lincoln suffer, which would make Ronnie Anne upset, and Bobby would do anything to make his little sister happy…

"Fine, I'll go by myself…I hope it goes well…" Lori said in a sullen tone, she heads toward the door and leaves the house.

* * *

"Inkin!"

Lincoln realizes only one sister calls him by that name. He turns around and sees Lily with a storybook.

"You want me to read you a story?" Lincoln questioned

Lily gives a cute smile in response.

"I still have to wear the suit, don't I?"

Lily nods.

"Fine…"

(1 very boring story later)

"The End"

Lily fell asleep while Lincoln was reading the story…

"Good night, sweet princess." Lincoln whispered

* * *

Unfortunately for him, Lola was right next to him and she does not look happy…

"I heard what you said, and I take offense to that. Lily may be the cutest thing alive, but she is not a princess; Why not? Because I'm the only one allowed to be a princess in this household! Now Linky, help me choreograph these EDM dance moves!"

Lincoln is confused for several reasons. First, why didn't Lola beat him up if she heard that Lily is a better princess than her? Lola takes her princess-ship very seriously! Second, why does she want to learn EDM dance moves? He figured that an ingenue like herself would be more interested in the classics like ballet, waltzes, minuets! Her performing an EDM dance would be about as bad as her twerking (as if twerking counts as a dance, only talentless hacks would resort to twerking…even though there's a video game that Lincoln owns where you have to twerk to kill zombies…maybe twerking is so bad it makes the zombies want to die again just to not see it…).

"So, what type of dance moves to you have in mind?"

"You'll see, but here's the EDM dance mix."

Lola presses a button; A familiar tune begins to play… suddenly a TV screen pops up and a glam rocker robot starts to do different poses. Lola copies the poses that the glam rocker does…Lincoln now understands.

"You see, me and Lans have a competition, we're doing a pose-off! We have to copy each other's poses and see who can copy who better! But, the catch is all the poses will be dictated by our fabulous emcee here, _Mettaton EX_! Ah, I never knew that boys could be…so beautiful!

"So, practice with me and try to keep up, Linky! Phase 2 is guaranteed to get your blood pumping!"

"I should probably take this suit off then…"

"Nope, it will make you sweat more! Besides, if you take it off, then Lana will win the contest, and I'll be mad, and you know that happens when you make Lola mad…"

The training begins, Lola and Lincoln copy Mettaton's poses perfectly! This goes on for about 2 minutes before the intensity increases!

"Things are blowing up!" Mettaton says like a motivational dance instructor

"Can you keep up the pace, Lincoln?" Lola inquired "It gets **REALLY** fast now!"

She wasn't kidding, as soon as phase 2 began, Mettaton began firing off 5 poses per second! Both Lincoln and Lola struggle to keep up. They both collapse from exhaustion. Lola turns off the training video.

"So…do you…think…I…am… good enough…to…win… against her?" Lola said, panting heavily

"Yeah, but… how… will… either of you… be able… to pose… that fast?" Lincoln asked tiredly

"Hopefully…she'll…give up…before that happens…if not…then…it will be… a battle…of endurance…who can…last…the longest…without…passing out. Anyway…thanks…for helping…me train…Linky. You should…take…a…break. I'll…just…rest here…for a while."

Lincoln staggers out of his room, barely able to walk after that intense workout. He's just about to enter his room when Lisa stops him.

* * *

"Elder brother, I require your assistance." Lisa stated

"Will it (cough) require more (wheeze) physical exercise?" Lincoln questioned with raspy breaths in between

"I can assure you that no aerobic exercise will be necessary for this task. Besides you need every diatomic molecule of oxygen you can get. I just need you to drink this."

"Will this disfigure and/or kill me?" Lincoln said nervously

"No, it's just a pint of Dihydrogen Monoxide." Lisa said

"Wait, so it will choke me to death?"

"No, that's **CARBON** Monoxide, Linc…"

Lincoln drinks the Dihydrogen Monoxide, it tastes refreshing!

"Now tell me if you experience any adverse reactions to the solution." Lisa said "That is all I require from you, begone!"

Lincoln is once again ready to enter his room, but **SHE** stops him.

* * *

"Hey, Lincoln! I need you at Sterrett Field, now! My baseball team's getting ready for our final game of the season! I NEED your good luck!"

"Why do you need ME?" Lincoln said derisively "I thought I was bad luck after you lost your first qualifier?"

"Look, I'm REALLY sorry about thinking you were bad luck, but I need you now!"

"No."

"I'll FORCE you to come with!"

"No!"

Lynn Jr drags Lincoln all the way to Sterrett Field anyway. Her team is preparing for the final game, the whole Loud family is there…both teams take the field…showtime!

In the 1st inning, the Squirrels managed to get 2 runs, with their opponents scoring 1. 2nd inning; the Squirrels managed to get the bases loaded, but are unable to capitalize! However, they managed to shut out the other team from scoring any runs! 3rd inning; Squirrels managed to score 2 more runs, but the other team scored 2 runs, too! 4th inning; Squirrels managed to get a walk from 3rd base to home, scoring another run, and gets another run from 2nd to home, for 2 more runs! However, the other team does the unthinkable and hits a bases loaded-grand slam for 4 runs! The score is now 6-7, with the Squirrels down by 1, but it's still anyone's game! Inning 5 has the Squirrels score 3 runs with the other team scoring 2! The 6th inning has the Squirrels response to inning 4's grand slam with one of their own, the other team got 2 more runs before being outed! Here we are, at the top of the 7th inning and the Squirrels botch their chance to extend their lead, getting struck out twice and hitting a pop-fly to the first baseman!

"Stop! 7th inning stretch!" The referee yelled

Lana is starting to panic… if Lynn doesn't win this game, they might have another "No Such Luck" on their hands, except that was just for a qualifier match! This is the final game of the season! The stakes couldn't be higher, both for Lynn and Lana! Either way, it won't stop Lynn's superstitions if she wins or loses the game. If she wins, she'll say it was because of her "good luck charm" and gloat about the win for a solid month; If she loses, however, "No Such Luck" will happen again, but the backlash toward Lincoln will be even more severe! Even when Lynn wins, Lincoln loses…

"Play ball!" The referee shouted

The game resumes at the bottom of the 7th, with the enemy team scoring 1 run before getting their 3rd out strikeout. 8th inning; Squirrels get 5 runs in, while the other team gets a triple and a grand slam for 7 total runs! Top of the 9th and final inning…the score is 18-19, Squirrels down by 2, they need 1 run to tie…the windup…and the pitch…

"Strike 1!"

The enemy team's shortstop signal is a reverse peace sign, in England, this would be the equivalent of flipping someone off, but to the other team, it dictates the type of pitch, specifically… a changeup…

"Strike 2!"

The signal is a finger crown, a fastball…

 **"Crack!"**

The ball zooms across the field and lands in the middle of center and right field, the player managed to get to 3rd base before the ball came back to the shortstop!

Next player is up, shortstop signal is the "come on" gesture, the signal for a curveball…

 **"Crack!"**

"That ball is outta here! Home run!" The sportscaster shrieked

Next player is up, shortstop signal is the "ring thrust" (basically the "middle finger", but using your ring finger instead), it signals a screwball (how appropriate)

"Strike 1!"

Finger crown…

 **"Crack!"**

The ball heads to deep center field…and the center fielder catches the pop-fly! 1 out!

Next player…

Ring thrust…

 **"Crack!"**

The ball heads straight into the 1st baseman's glove. 2 outs!

Lynn is the next batter up; The enemy shortstop sizes up the target…

Reverse peace sign…

"Strike 1!"

Ring thrust…

"Strike 2!"

Come on…

 **"Crack!"**

Lynn hits the curveball so hard, the curve arc leads it right toward the 3rd baseman! The baseman readies themselves… the ball hits them with full force and even manages to push them back a few inches! Everyone gasps as the baseman crumples over from the force!

…

The baseman shows that the ball was caught!

"You're out! Change sides!" the ref screamed

Bottom of the ninth…the Squirrels have to preserve their lead…the score is 20-19, they can't afford anymore screw-ups…

They managed to strikeout 2 players, but there's a runner on 3rd and the opposing team managed to squeeze 1 run in; The next player is up…here's the windup… and the pitch…

It's a fastball!

The batter swings!

"Strike 1!"

Next pitch… a screwball!

The batter swings!

"Strike 2!"

Last pitch…a changeup!

The batter swings…!

"Oh, holy shit! They're actually going to do it! They're trying a Suicide Squeeze on 2 outs!" The sportscaster bellowed

The runner on 3rd darts off as the batter knocks the ball to left-center field! The left center fielder readies their aim to catch the ball…and they caught it! The batter is out, and that's the 3rd out! It's a tie game, time to go for a 10th inning with the score tied at 20-20!

"But wait!" The ref shouted "Look over there, on home plate!"

A cloud of dust obscures home plate! The ref waits for the dust to settle and…there is the 3rd base runner on home plate!

"That's game! Squirrels lose 20-21!" The ref declared

"Unbelievable! A stolen base is what decides this action-packed night of baseball! Games like these are what make baseball "America's Pastime!" Both teams should be proud on making it this far! Good night, everybody!" The sportscaster announced excitedly

The Loud family heads back home after witnessing the spectacle that was that final game. Lana and Lincoln are filled with an intense dread…Lynn lost. If "No Such Luck" happened because of losing a qualifier…who knows what will happen now that she lost the final game.

Lincoln tries to console Lynn after her loss…

"Just…go away…you're still bad luck!" Lynn bitterly said

"I'm not bad luck! The other team is just as good as you!" Lincoln reasoned

"I don't want to hear it, just let me process what just happened…" Lynn glumly responded

* * *

The next day…

"Hey, Linc…I was thinking…maybe I should wear the suit."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"To give you a break! You had to deal with both Lola and Lynn's events yesterday! If there are any more like that you'll be exhausted! I'll cover for you, just go hide out at Clyde's! You can't be here, otherwise our sisters will know something is up."

"…Thanks, Lana."

With that Lincoln snuck out the back door and headed over to the McBride residence. Lana puts on the squirrel suit. It's slightly bigger than her, but she can still see out of the eyeholes. It's very disgusting, but if anyone can handle "disgusting", it's Lana Loud!

"Ugh, it stinks in here! How would people even clean this thing?!"

Lana walks around, to see if any sisters need Lincoln at an event…she's about to head back toward Lincoln's room, when she heard a voice.

* * *

"Lincoln, come with me to see my new designs!" An airy, bubbly voice said

Lana looks around and sees a girl with a green dress on with a pair of cool-looking shades. This is Leni, the dumb one of the Loud family. Lana follows Leni toward the living room, articles of clothing are strewn around. Leni models the clothing.

"What do you think, will people like them?" Leni asked

"Uh, it's great, I think people would love it." Lana said, doing her best Lincoln impression

"Great, thanks for the encouragement, Linky!" Leni said sweetly

Lana begins to head up the stairs, but Luna is in the way!

* * *

"Hey bro, I need you to have a jam session with me! I'm trying to come up with some music to go along with a new song I'm making, but I'm wicked blocked. Can you help me?"

"Sure."

"Great, thanks!"

They are in the garage. There are musical instruments laying around. Both of them play for a bit. The music sounds like a cacophony, but both of them had fun.

"Well, I think I found some melodies I can use from that, thanks Linc!"

* * *

"Hey Linc, I need you to help me, I got booked for some kid's birthday party and I need to entertain him, do you think you can hand me my comedy props and help make sure the performance goes well?" A voice quipped

Lana turns around, and sees Luan with a wagon full of comedy props

"Ok, I'll help."

"Hey, did you inhale some helium from my balloons? You sound different…"

"No, it's just a cold, it'll go away in a few days, let's go."

Lana and Luan arrived at the kid's party and performed for an hour. The guests were entertained.

"Ok, that went very well! Here's your reward for helping me. I'll just put it in the fridge, since you can't eat it with that thing on. See you, Linc!"

* * *

Lana goes back into the house, she heads up the stairs when the girl with black hair stops her.

"Hey Lincoln, can you help me write a poem? I'd do it myself, but I got spirits on the brain." she said

"Uh… sure, Lucy." Lana said nervously

"Here's what I have so far: In this family, there are 2 lights" Lucy stated "Your turn to come up with the next line."

"How about, "Split apart, by endless fights" Lana responded

"The faded light, broken by strife"

"Will have to give up life"

"For the second light, this is an omen"

"To try to repair a family, so broken"

"The athletic one, with guilt she'll fake"

"The final light, she'll choose to break"

"Both lights gone, all hopes shattered"

"In the end, nothing mattered"

"However, if all the siblings can reunite"

"The dysfunction ends, and all is right"

"This ends our cautionary tale"

"With our plan, we must not fail"

"Woah, that was amazing!" Lucy commended "You should be a lyricist!"

"Thanks."

Lana heads out of Lucy and Lynn's bedroom and heads back to Lincoln's room. She takes off the suit and heads straight across the hall to the bathroom…she's taking a shower.

* * *

Once that's done, Lana and Lincoln meet up at the kitchen door, having pulled off the switch successfully. They head up to Lincoln's room, but Lola found out Lincoln was gone and snitched to everyone…

"Well, care to explain?" Lynn Sr said firmly

"Explain what?" Lana questioned

"We heard that Lincoln escaped, and Lola told us about it 5 minutes ago!" Their mother stated

"I was at Clyde's." Lincoln said

"Oh, is that it? Well, just tell us next time."

"What are you doing?" Lola said furiously "He just escaped!"

"Clyde is Lincoln's best friend, he came to invite Lincoln over to his house!" Lana shot back

"Where were you?"

"With Lincoln, of course!"

Lola backs off, the parents are taken aback slightly.

"Lana, you went with Lincoln to Clyde's?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Nothing, it's just Clyde and Lincoln share the same interests, we thought you'd be uninterested in that sort of thing."

"Well, I didn't care much for that stuff, but I was there just because Lincoln was."

"…You care about him a lot, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, if both of you are together, then there's nothing to worry about."

The parents leave, Lisa comes out of her room and shows a metal frame with an icy blue line across it.

"Here is that cooling system you wanted, Lana. I'll just install it into Lincoln's suit and…here you go! When you feel overheated, press the blue button, and a jet of cold air will be released! Don't use it too much, that coolant is all we have, and that stuff's expensive. Now I'll work on the "other" project." Lisa shot Lana a wink and retreated back into her room.

"Well, try it out!" Lana said excitedly

Lincoln puts on the suit and hits the button; A blast of cold air hits his body.

"Oh yeah, that feels **SO** good!" Lincoln said happily

He takes off the suit…

"Well, thanks for that, Lana. This make wearing that thing slightly more bearable."

"Now that you're safe until that coolant runs out, I'll work on convincing the others to see you as Lincoln Loud again."

"Good night, Lana."

"Good night, Lincoln."

* * *

That night…

"He said WHAT?!"

"Are you sure, Lola?"

"I'm positive."

"If that's how he sees us…"

"Let's teach him a lesson he won't soon forget!"

"We'll teach him not to mess with us."

"The Trinity of Violence!"

* * *

 **Fun Fact: Originally, Lana was going to yell at the sisters for overworking Lincoln to the point of exhaustion, but it was cut out because the tension wasn't high enough once the chapter was being written. Don't worry though, this idea isn't dead, just postponed to a future chapter.**


	7. Queen Me!

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana tries to recruit one of the sisters to join their group, she gains an invaluable ally instead**

* * *

Lana wakes up the next morning and decides to finally try to tip the scales in Lincoln's favor. After all, it's still 11 against 2 (yes, this means the parents believe Lincoln is bad luck), and Lynn just might perpetuate her superstition that Lincoln is STILL bad luck, now that she lost the final game of the season.

"But who should I recruit first?" Lana thought to herself

Lana paced around the upstairs hallway for a while and looked at the doors to each of the sister's rooms, all while deciding who's the best candidate. At last, she looks at the far door, the one with an electronic keypad in front of it…this room… it's Lori and Leni's room. Surely, she can't be trying to convince a member of the TOV already?!

Lana approaches the door and tries to enter the password. How does Lana know the password? Lori told her (unknowingly).

"Lori, what is Bobby's full name?"

"Roberto Alejandro Martinez-Millan Luis Santiago Jr."

Unfortunately, Lana is too short to reach the keypad, so she gets a stepladder and uses it to become tall enough to reach it. She notices the keypad has a "Leni mode"; Lana activates it, which causes the alphanumeric keys to switch into a bunch of pictures. There are some wingdings, webdings, emojis, and pictures of random objects. This was installed because Lori's security system kept shocking Leni every time she tried to enter her room.

* * *

"What was the password again? Oh yeah..."

"R-"

Leni gets shocked by the security system…

"Ok, let's try again."

"S-"

Leni gets shocked again…

"How about this?"

"S-A-N-T-I-C"

Leni gets shocked for a third time…

"Ok, I'll try again one more time."

"L-O-R-E"

Leni, once again, gets shocked…

"I give up, I'll just bunk with Linky again…"

* * *

Lana hits the button again to switch the keypad from Leni mode to Lori mode and begins to put in Lori's super long password.

"R-O-B-E-R-T-O-A-L-E-J-A-N-D-R-O-M-A-R-T-I-N-E-Z-M-I-L-L-A-N-L-U-I-S-S-A-N-T-I-A-G-O-J-U-N-I-O-R."

The security system says "Access granted. Welcome back, Lori."

Lana enters the room and finds Leni all by herself in the room with no Lori to be found. This is her chance! Lana approaches Leni…

"Oh, hey Lana." Leni chimed "Do you need something?"

"I just want to talk to you." Lana said, tapping her pointer finger to her head

The VR chessboard reappears, Leni has 1 black pawn on the board.

* * *

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!

"Would you say you are a nice girl?" Lana inquired

"Of course." Leni responded

"This could be a vital clue." Lana thought "I'll remember this for later…"

"Why did you exclude Lincoln from your event?" Lana asked

"Because he's bad luck." Leni said

"Who said that? Lynn or Lincoln?"

"Both."

"Now might be the time to use that clue…" Lana noted

"You see yourself as nice, right?"

"Yes."

"Ok, if you really **ARE** nice, then why didn't you take Lincoln along anyway?"

Lana's white pawn charges Leni's black pawn! The black pawn gets hit and shatters!

The VR chessboard disappears, Lana and Leni are back in Lori and Leni's bedroom.

LOGIC CHESS; COMPLETE!

* * *

Leni thinks about what Lana said for approximately 5 minutes and then cries. She knows that what she did hurt Lincoln emotionally (well, that's how Leni sees it, anyway. Lincoln just lied to get out of going to her event).

"You're right, I **DID** hurt Linky…"

"But you can help make it right! I want you to join our team! What do you say? Will you help us?" Lana pleaded hopefully

"…I'll do it, I'll join you, for Lincoln… and for you too, Lana." Leni said with a resoluteness in her voice

Lana is just about to leave and tell Lincoln the good news when she hears heavy footsteps. They beat down on the floor like thunderclaps. The boss of the Loud siblings is approaching. She has a reputation for enforcing executive orders on the others. She is the judge, jury and executioner (mostly that last one).

"Yeah, well I was **BORN** first!"

"There's only 1 rule in this house; Stay out of **MY** room!"

"If I catch you in here again, I will **LITERALLY** turn you into a human pretzel!"

"No music, no mud pies, no phone calls and **NO VIDEO GAMES**!"

Lana still remembers the time she messed up and called her "sir" instead of ma'am". She was afraid of getting throttled that day.

"She's coming! Leni, make her leave the room somehow! I'll hide under your bed until she leaves! If she catches me in here, I'll see what destruction in human form looks like!"

Lana ducks under Leni's bed; Lori enters the room angrily…

* * *

 **Author's Note: When Leni gets shocked by the security system in the flashback, the password is different for every attempt. Lori reset the password to try to make it easier for Leni to guess. The first time, the question was: What is Lori's boyfriend's name? Leni was trying to put "Roberto" (Bobby's actual name), but Lori made "Bobby" the password. The second time, the question was: What race is Bobby? Leni was trying to put "Spanish", when Lori made the password "Hispanic" instead. The third time, the question was: What is the capital of Chile? Leni didn't know this one, so she put "Santa Claus" as a joke, ironically, this was the closest she got on what would be the trickiest question. The answer was "Santiago" (Bobby's last name). The fourth and last question before "Leni Mode" was installed was, who shares this room with Leni? Leni knew the answer was Lori, but she misspelled it as Lore. Leni gave up on using the security system after that.**


	8. The Lioness' Den

**Chapter synopsis: Leni tries to help Lana escape Lori's wrath... it doesn't go well...**

* * *

"Leni, why does the security system say I've already been here?" Lori asked with an intimidating tone

"Maybe someone tried to get in?" Leni responded quizzically

"I swear, if that chromosomal mistake tries to enter my room again, I'll make sure he'll keep Lucy company forever!"

"Oh, that's nice." Leni agreed, not knowing what she was actually agreeing to

"Thanks Leni, I knew you'd understand. After all, we need time to ourselves."

Lana hears this and is appalled by the amount of hypocrisy in Lori's statement. Lori can shut the door on Lincoln, but when Lincoln does it to her, she just barges in, calls him a twerp, gives him an executive order and intimidates him into doing it, claiming seniority. Also, a chromosomal mistake?! Does she really think Lincoln was born wrong?! Maybe their dad was born wrong too, no that couldn't be… they wouldn't even **EXIST** if that was the case (Ironically, **LORI** is the "mistake", she exists only because their parents "got busy" in a hotel pool (see the episode "Suite and Sour" for proof) she was also a very ugly baby, having a pointed head, no hair and webbed feet (seen in the episode "Not A Loud"). Luckily, only they know that, and not their kids)! Lori maybe as obnoxious as one of those people who comments "First" on a _YouTube_ comments section but to actually suggest fratricide so casually to her own sister?! What… the… fuck?! Lori is just an arrogant misandrist…maybe she should join those "third wave feminists" who want to commit androcide and wipe the patriarchy of the face of the Earth! Lana is absolutely livid; Her face is actually flush with anger!

Leni speaks up. Lana hopes Leni will say something that will make her calm down. She is **SO** close to blowing her cover and giving a hate speech to Lori. But this time, Lana will say it **TO HER FACE**! Unlike Lincoln, who is more passive-aggressive in how he deals with problems concerning his sisters. He is a pacifist, after all.

"Don't you think we're being too harsh on Lincoln?" Leni questioned

"What did you say? Did I hear that right? Are you actually advocating for that selfish little brat?" Lori exploded in response

"He didn't mean to go into your room that one time, that was an accident." Leni tried to explain. Lori is too enraged to see Leni's logic!

"I'm the oldest, so I make the rules! As of now, only we can enter this room! If anyone else enters, I'll make sure mom and dad punish them to the highest degree!" Lori announced maniacally

Lori is starting to sound like a tyrant. Both Lana and Leni see this. Leni tries to imitate what Lana did to her earlier, she looks at Lori and taps her forehead with her pointer finger.

"Leni, what are you doing?!" Lana thought to herself "We don't have enough clues and/or members in our group to help convince a Trinity member yet."

Lana pauses for a moment, then realizes what she's REALLY doing!

"But you're not trying to convince her, are you? You're just trying to distract her so I can get out of here! Brilliant move, Leni! I'll wait until there's an opportune moment to escape during the heated battle of wits!"

* * *

The VR chessboard reappears, but this time, the board is red and white instead of its usual blue and white pattern. Leni has a White Queen on her side while Lori has a black knight, black rook and black bishop on her side! _Logic Chess: Endgame_ plays instead of Logic Chess: Opening because Leni is facing a member of the Trinity of Violence!

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!

"Don't you realize, this is MY room, too?" Leni posed a solid question to Lori

Leni's white queen attacks Lori's black knight, it hits! 2 hits left before it shatters!

"Well sis, you're too nice to enforce the rules, so I have to do it."

Leni waits patiently…

"Not saying anything, huh?"

Leni waits patiently…

"Why do you think that security system was installed in the first place? It was to keep our annoying younger siblings from touching our stuff!"

"YOUR stuff." Leni clarified "I don't mind if they touch MY stuff."

Leni's queen attacks Lori's knight; 1 hit left!

"Are you SERIOUS?!" Lori said with a surprised look "What if they ruin your precious clothing designs?"

Leni is taken aback slightly but counterattacks with this!

"Then I'll incorporate it into my design, after all, our younger siblings are just as creative, if not more so, than me! I'll even say that the redesign would be even better than the original! I believe in them THAT much!" Leni stated pridefully

Leni's queen attacks Lori's knight and shatters it!

Lana is touched by this…though she's not sure if Leni is praising the sibling's creativity, or doubting her own, but Lana chooses to believe the former statement. She's still waiting for the right moment…

"Do you hate Lincoln?!" Leni said in a demanding tone

Lori is now taken aback! When did her sweet younger sister grow a spine?!

"No."

"Then why did you kick him out of **OUR** room!"

Leni's queen rushes at Lori's bishop and lands a successful hit, 4 more left to go!

"Because he was violating **MY** executive order!"

"Yeah, **YOUR** order, not mom's order, not dad's order, YOUR order, therefore, everything you just said means absolutely nothing!"

Leni's queen attacks Lori's bishop, 3 hits remaining!

"But mom and dad put ME in charge!"

"No, they don't."

"Yes, they do!"

"That only happens when they go out on their anniversary date nights! The day that you kicked Lincoln out… our parents were still home! Their authority overwrites yours!"

Leni's queen attacks Lori's bishop again, just 2 more…

* * *

Lana decides to book it while the older sister drama continues…Luckily, she's already close to the door. If she could just make it a few more feet…

Lana hits part of the wooden bedframe. Lori questions what made the noise. Leni assures her that it's just the wind and to continue with the battle of wits. Lori doesn't buy it, she investigates under Leni's bed and…

"Ow, my eyes!"

Lana poked Lori in the eyes to temporarily blind her. She makes a mad dash for it, but Lori recovers and blocks her in. She picks Lana up by her overalls and screams at her!

" **YOU** …"

" **LITTLE** …"

" **BRAT**!"

" **I WILL DESTROY YOU**!"

This gets everyone's attention! All the Loud siblings gather around Lori and Leni's bedroom. Rightfully afraid another sister fight would happen. But not even that flawed protocol would help now.

"Lori, stop it!" Leni shouted at her now-deranged sister

"We'll show you how cruel we can be, you piece of filth! I am Lori Loud! Leader of the Trinity of Violence! This is what happens to those who would mess with the leader. They " _lead_ " shorter lives!"

Luan was watching the whole encounter go down. Normally she would appreciate a terrible pun, but not this time. Not when one of her siblings is about to get a beatdown!

Lori gives a swift right hook to Lana's chest. The impact sends her flying. She only got a small bruise from that. But now that Lana has center stage, with a defiant attitude, she looked the now mentally-unhinged Lori and said…

"Screw you!"

All of the siblings collectively gasp, shocked that their precious Lana would resort to such a vulgar tongue. They're right, Lana normally would hold back, but if they heard what Lana heard today, they would be doing the same thing to Lori, if not worse! Unfortunately, that little hellion, Lola, heard this and rats Lana out to their parents.

"LANA LOUD!" Lynn Sr bellowed as the parents bolted up the stairs

Lana just stands there…finally, with a relaxed and calm attitude, she spoke.

* * *

"Good, we're all here. I just have one important thing to say to you all."

…

 **"WHY DO YOU ALL HATE LINCOLN?!"**

Everyone is shocked!

"We don't hate him, we love him, he's our brother!" The sisters shouted over each other

"Oh really… then why did you make him wear that stupid suit?!"

"Because he's bad luck!" Lynn shouted at Lana

"Bad luck?!" Lana responded with a dumfounded look on her face "Is it really bad luck, or are you just salty you lost that last game?"

 **"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"** Lynn charges at her, Luna and Lincoln restrain her

"And you…" Lana pointed to Lola "You hated us right from the start, didn't you!?"

"Ugh, I do not!" Lola said with a surprised expression

"You just ratted me out to mom and dad!"

"Oh."

"Don't lie to us, you've already been lying your whole life! Remember when we formed a secrets club? Yeah, we trusted Lola, and she spilled our secrets to her stuffed animals!"

"Who told you about that?!" Lola said, startled

"I've seen you talk to your stuffed animals, I guess you just have to spread gossip like that, don't you?!"

"So? Stuffed animals can't speak!"

"No, but they can be bugged! Lincoln found the microphone in your tiara! We could easily do the same to your stuffed animals!"

"And the worst offender is you!" Lana refocused her tirade on Lori

"What did she do?" Lincoln asked

"I'm sorry you ever had to find out about this Lincoln." Lana sadly responded "She hates every cell that ever made you…"

"WHAT?!" everyone shouted

"Yeah, she said that Lincoln was a chromosomal mistake."

"What does that mean?" Luna questioned

"It means Lori hates the fact that Lincoln is a boy." Lisa spoke up "You see, every specie of "Homo Sapiens" have 23 pairs of chromosomes, the 23rd pair is what determines your gender, or in Layman's terms, if you're a boy or a girl. If an XX pair is formed, it means you will become a female; If the pair is XY, then you'll become a male."

Everyone except Lola casts a hateful glare at Lori. Lola just stands there with her mouth slightly agape. She didn't expect that Lori would actually resent the fact the Loud sisters have a brother. Sure, Lola hates Lincoln, but she at least accepts the fact that he's her brother.

"How could you hate our only brother?!" Luna inquired caustically

"But wait, there's more!" Lana continued with an amplified voice "Not only that, she wants to make Lincoln be Lucy's companion forever!"

"What's so bad about that?" Leni asked with a puzzled expression on her face

"Well, sweet sis, this is what's known as a "euphemism". I'll let Lisa explain."

Lisa is awestruck that Lana would know such a complex word! After regaining her composure, she explains the definition.

"Euphemism-a word or phrase to substitute another word or phrase so as not to offend someone." Lisa said, paraphrasing

"So, what about what Lori said?" Lola said, pressing further on this issue

"Lori said that she'll make Lincoln Lucy's companion forever, right?"

"Yes, she did say that." Leni restated

"Well, where does Lucy spend most of her time?" Lana said smugly

"Easy, the cemetery." Lincoln affirms

"You're right, now what are IN cemeteries?"

"Corpses, of _corpse_!" Luan said, with a goofy smile plastered across her face

"And what exactly ARE corpses? Dead bodies."

Lincoln pieces it together…and is left speechless!

"Yes, family! Lori said she would **KILL** Lincoln if he entered her room again!"

Everyone murmurs their dissenting opinions on Lori now…

"So?" Lori scoffs at this baseless accusation "Angry people always say they're going to kill someone when enraged."

"That's not the issue here, the issue is that you basically said that you would kill Lincoln, not punish, not berate, not even evict him from your room, you said you wanted to kill him." A smug grin appears on Lana's face "You really should have handled that situation more tactfully, Lori."

"Checkmate."

"So go ahead, punish me for defending my brother. But this just exposes how far this "little white lie" has gotten way out of hand. At least us 4 can trust each other."

"Us four?" Lincoln inquired

"You, Me, Lily and Leni." Lana responded

"What about us?" the sisters asked

"Well…" Lana points to Lori "You intimidate our brother!" points to Lynn Jr "You mutilate him!" points to Lola "and you manipulate him!"

"What about the rest of us? We aren't that bad, are we?!" The rest of them pleaded

"No, you aren't megalomaniacs, savage animals or psychopathological liars; Just selfish jerks with no consideration toward our only brother's feelings…I hope you think about that. If you want a chance at redemption, we might visit you four and give you a second chance, but should you really want to redeem yourselves, we will test your convictions on this matter, but for now…"

Lana and Lincoln leave, heading toward Lincoln's room. Leni leaves to follow them.

"What, you're just going to leave me?!" Lori angrily questioned her

"Why would I stay with someone who hates one of us?" Leni smugly shot back

* * *

"You're not going to punish Lana for swearing at Lori?" Lola questioned her parents

"No, because she alerted us to a much bigger problem." Their mother said

"Lori Loud! I really expected better of you! To hold so much contempt for someone in your own family…" Lynn Sr shakes his head and sighs "…until you can learn to appreciate the first boy in your life, you won't get a second one."

Lynn Sr heads into Lori's room, he takes Lori's cyan colored cellphone and scrolls through her contact list until he finds a "Roberto Santiago", he shows the phone to her.

"No, dad! What are you doing?!" Lori breaks down

"Until you learn how to appreciate Lincoln, you won't be allowed to talk to Bobby!"

Lynn Sr hits the "delete contact" button; Bobby's contact information is lost forever…

"NO!" Lori shrieked painfully

"And, just so you won't try to hang out with him in person, we've agreed to revoke your driving privileges until you and Lincoln get along, and not the "We had a fight and now we made up." kind of get along, but the "We get along so well, you can't separate us." kind of get along. Do I make myself clear, Lori?" Lynn Sr said with a hint of tranquility on that last sentence

"Yes…dad…" Lori said with a defeated look on her face

"Good, now get along!" Lynn Sr said as he left the room

Lori contemplates on her father's words and her actions. She decides to make up. She'll be nice to Lincoln, starting tomorrow. She wants to be…a better sister to him.

Lola peers out from behind a corner and shakes her fist angrily!

"Dang it! Trying to get our parents to punish Lincoln's top enforcer just got our leader some karmic retribution! Well, enforcer…now it's up to you to restore some sort of balance in this dysfunctional household.

Lynn Jr emerges from the shadows!

"We need to send Lana a message, if she tries to mess with the extremely unstable balance, there will be consequences, now let us 3 deliver it to her."

Lynn responds with only one word…

"Gladly."

* * *

 **Now that tensions are at all-time-high in the Loud House, what will happen now? Can Lana convince more of their siblings to help Lincoln? Will the Trinity get their revenge on Lana for what she did to Lori? Will Lori start to redeem herself? And the most important question, can anyone in Lincoln and Lana's group survive the Trinity of Violence's wrath now that their enforcer, Lynn Junior, has entered the picture? Even I don't know the answer! We'll just have to find out together!**

 **Author's Note: Remember when I said Lana would yell at everyone? Yeah, this is that chapter. Also, the original plan for Leni VS Lori in that Logic Chess match was to completely fail. This was changed because everyone would expect that and it would have been boring, so I made Leni more competent! Unfortunately, Leni would have failed anyway if the match continued. She put up a great fight though, right?**


	9. Covalence

**Chapter Synopsis: Lincoln experiences both forms of electron chemical bonding, ionic and covalent, thanks to his sisters**

* * *

Another day passes; Lincoln, Lana and Leni have agreed to meet up at Lincoln's room to discuss their next plan of attack after the Lori incident yesterday. As they approach the room, however; Lisa is there, installing a metal panel into the wall, connected by wires.

"Lisa, what are you doing?" Lincoln asked

Lisa turned around, surprised; She recovers and responds.

"Well, elder brother, α Twin managed to convince me you need this, so I'm installing it for you."

"α Twin? Does that mean Lola cares about me?"

"Lola?" Lisa scoffed "σ Twin only cares about herself."

"Alpha and Sigma? Not Alpha and Beta or Alpha and Omega?" Lana inquired

"What, you think I'm going to go the cliché route?" Lisa said

"So that means α Twin is Lana, right?" Leni pondered

"Correct, our dyslexic damsel." Lisa states

"Lana, what did you have Lisa make?" Lincoln questioned nervously

"Don't worry, it's just a security system to help protect you from us." Lana responded "It should be voice activated too! Lisa, is the system set up?"

"Yes, all the circuitry is complete. Electricity is surging all throughout the device. All systems are fully operational. It just needs someone to set the voice activated commands. That would be you, elder brother." Lisa affirms

* * *

Lincoln goes up to the voice module…

"Welcome to the I-ON-ME security system, who do I have the pleasure of protecting today?" The computer says in a synthesized voice that sounds like Lana's

"Lincoln Loud." Lincoln says into the microphone

"Analyzing vocal range and vocal pattern…"

"Voice recognition set, welcome master Lincoln. Would you like to set your security password? Only those who know the password will be allowed access to this room, so think of a hard to guess password!"

"I got the perfect password!"

Lana whispers something in Lincoln's ear, Lincoln nods his head in agreement and sets the password.

"Password accepted, arming security system now…"

The door becomes electrified!

"I would recommend testing out the master voice control override, Lincoln. If it works, you can disable and reenable the security system at will with just the sound of your voice!" Lisa exclaimed

Lincoln is excited about this, he tries to test out the voice override function.

"IONME, disable lock!"

The door becomes anti-electrified, Lana, Lincoln, Lisa and Leni enter Lincoln's room.

"IONME, enable lock!"

The door becomes electrified again!

"The electricity only applies to the entrance of the room. If Lincoln exits his room from the inside, he won't get zapped. If one of our sisters barge in before Lincoln enables security, then they won't get zapped."

They leave the room, Leni touches the door and gets electrocuted.

"See, the system won't shock Lincoln from the inside, but it will shock him outside unless he disables security for everyone, or inputs the password, which will disable the electrified door until the person entering closes the door. That will let ION know the person is in Lincoln's room and tells her to "transfer electrons" to anyone who tries to barge in! Don't worry, it's a small, non-lethal shock, equivalent to about 64 volts." Lisa explained

"Can I change the voice?"

"Yes, I set 14 different voices into it, why? Don't you like Lana's voice?"

"No, I just wanted to know if it was possible, thanks Lis."

"Sure, Lincoln."

* * *

Lisa heads back to her room. Lincoln enters the password and invites Lana and Leni in. From there, they start their meeting.

"Firstly, some minor things to get out of the way. So, now that we have one of the sisters on our side… I've been thinking of a group name, I mean, I already came up with the Trinity of Violence for the three that oppose our plan of convincing our family that Lincoln isn't bad luck. Now that Leni has joined us, I think I've come up with the perfect name! The Covalence Network! Or just "Covalence", for short. I chose this name, because of the concept of "covalent bonds", which are atoms that form a chemical bond by sharing electrons. This naturally occurring process is similar to what happens in our family! We have to "share" a "bond" with our brother! Doing so makes all of us stronger! I even made a drawing of our logo! So, do you like it?" Lana explained ecstatically

…

…

…

"…oh, so you don't like it?" Lana said sadly

"I love it!" Leni exclaimed

"Yeah, it's such a compelling concept…but how do you know about electrovalence bonding? That's something only high-schoolers know about, you're 6! You shouldn't know this stuff yet!" Lincoln rebuked

"Uhh, internet?" Lana responded

"Oh, you just looked it up on _Wikipedia_ , carry on then!"

"Right, next is I have some secret codewords and code-phrases that only Covalence members have access to, I am quite proud that I came up with most of these myself. The codewords I use describe a certain Loud sibling, so here's the codeword and definition, and you'll tell me which person it describes, ready?"

"Lioness- A female lion, usually hunts for the rest of the pride. It is usually extremely protective, extremely territorial and extremely deadly!"

"Easy, that would describe Lori." Lincoln stated

"Correct, here's the next one, it might be tougher for you."

"Matriarch- The dominant female figure in a group."

"Rita?" Leni stated, unsure of the answer

"Nope, try again."

"Well, it's not Lori, and it's not mom…so next in line would be…Leni." Lincoln reasoned

"Wow, I thought you'd get stumped by that one! How about this one, then?"

"Dulcet- Spanish for the word "sweet", it is also used to describe pleasant melodies."

"Luna."

"Ok, that one was easy, next one."

"Humerus- The bone that connects the shoulder blade to the radius and ulna, the two lower-forearm bones. It also contains the ulnar nerve, which hurts you, if struck!"

"I don't know this one…" Lincoln said, while fidgeting with his fingers

"Oh, did this hard definition make you nerveous?" Lana said smugly

"Not now, Luan! I'm trying to figure out this definition and who it relates to!" Lincoln shouted at Lana "… wait a minute…humerus…humorous…a comedienne, it's Luan, isn't it?" Lincoln questioned

"Yep, next one is odd because it's an acronym, not a word."

"BMOC"

"Bee Mock?" Leni said confusedly

"It stands for "Big Man On Campus", these people are stereotypically jocks, usually ones who get off on beating up nerds."

"So, it's Lynn then." Lincoln assured

"Next is Specter…"

"Specter- This is not the last name of Lincoln's favorite ARGGH member, or the terrorist group in a certain spy movie, it simply means a ghost."

"Lucy."

"Halfway there! This one is very hard!"

"Nictitate- What _Sheldon J Plankton_ from _SpongeBob_ forgets to do, the membrane of this substance gives certain animals a second eyelid."

"Well, it has animals in the definition, so It's you, Lana."

"You know me so well, Lincoln! The eighth sister's codeword is…"

"Sycophant- A person who acts obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain an advantage."

Both Lincoln and Leni are dumfounded that their 6-year old sister knows a word as complex as "sycophant". Not even Lisa would use that word, and she's a certified genius!

"Is it Lola?" Leni questioned

Lana nods her head and says the next definition.

"Synapse- A bridge between two nerve cells that neurological impulses use so that they dictate what actions the brain should take."

"Easy, Lisa." Both of them stated

"Then you know that Sunshine- Light given off by the sun's radiation, is Lily, by process of elimination."

"But what about Lincoln?" Leni asked

"Lincoln's codeword? It's "Harmony"- Sounds that produce a pleasing effect." Lana stated

"But now onto why this meeting was called. I managed to recruit Leni into Covalence, thus changing the balance to 9-4. So, I thought of our next plan of attack, I am going to try to recruit Luna, while Leni tries to recruit Luan. What do you say, Leni?"

"I'm in!"

"But what about Lily? Don't you need to recruit her?" Lincoln said with a hint of doubt

"Lily's a baby, she's on our side from the start. We don't need to convince her!" Lana replied back

"For Lincoln?" Lana said to Leni

"For Lincoln." Leni reaffirms

Both Lana and Leni leave, leaving Lincoln to wonder how this is all going to go down…

Meanwhile, a certain pink demon is working on something...

 _ **You are cordially invited to a party  
** **It will be in the basement  
** **Games, food and a good time will be had!  
** **Lana, you deserve this after working so hard!  
**_

 _ **From, a concerned sister**_

* * *

 **Author's Note: So, this is where the title comes from. But just because Lana thinks Lola is a sycophant doesn't mean another sister could be the sycophant. Heck, there could be _multiple_ sycophants! That Alpha and Sigma pairing is because I think that Sigma is what I consider to be an "evil" Greek letter (the others I think are evil are: Zeta (because it transliterates to "Z", the end of the alphabet), Kappa (because of the Japanese yokai of it and its use in internet culture) Mu (sounds like a cow mooing, it just sounds weird), Nu (sounds like "no"), Upsilon (because it sounds like an evil alternate universe version of my favorite Greek letter, Epsilon) , and Rho (I just forget this one is a Greek letter). Next, Lisa refers to Leni as a Dyslexic. Dyslexia is a disability where the person has trouble processing words, but it does NOT affect their overall intelligence. In canon, Leni is actually very smart when it comes to fashion related things. She also knows how to pick locks, as shown in it's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House. In this version of the Loud House universe, Leni still can't understand most words, but if you show her a picture, she can figure out what you're trying to say.**


	10. Lana dot exe

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana and Leni recruit the performers, but will the Trinity make this Lana's last show?!**

* * *

Lana and Leni head to the last room on the right, this is Luna and Luan's room. Both of them enter. Luna speaks up…

"So, you're going to try and recruit us?"

"Yes, now let's begin." Lana responded

Lana and Leni tap their forehead with their pointer fingers, The VR chessboard reappears…

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!

Luna has a black pawn and a black rook on the board…

"Tell me about your relationship with Lincoln." Lana stated

"Well, we're brother and sister, nothing more than that." Luna answered

Lana waits patiently…

"Wait… are you actually thinking I would do THAT to him?! Gross!" Luna exclaimed

("Ugh, I thought she would recall good memories she had with him, and not some incest-fic she found on some crazy fan's blog, I should try something else…")

-10% of Truth Timer…

"Can you recall any good times you've had with Lincoln?" Lana inquired

"Now that you mention it, yeah! I helped make his first SMOOCH concert unforgettable!" Luna shot back with a proud smile

"What about what Lincoln has done for YOU?"

"Easy! He was the first to forgive me and let me back into the family band when I ditched you guys to try and impress Mick Swagger." Luna recalled

("It's clear that Lincoln and Luna have a close bond…maybe I can help strengthen it…")

"Luna, do you like me more than Lincoln, or vice versa?" Lana questioned

"No way, Lans! I love both of you, you're my family!" Luna affirmed

"Alright, then how about this? Since we both love Lincoln, why don't we team up? That way, both of us can protect him!"

Lana's white pawn rushes at Luna's black pawn, it gets hit and shatters!

"You're right, little dudette, we should protect our bro." Luna stated

("If that's true, then why does she still have that black rook in play…I need to press further.")

"Are you jealous of another sibling?" Lana quipped

"Why would you say that?" Luna answered with another question

"It just seems like you're hiding something…"

"No, unless you can see those red locks with Lucy's yin symbol, I don't have any secrets to hide!"

!

("How does Luna know about Psyche Locks?! Did she watch Lincoln play that Japanese game where defense attorneys and debonair prosecutors shout "Objection!" at each other? It's actually a pretty fun game. Lincoln showed it to me once, it looked like a fun puzzle game.")

"Do you perform to get your brother's attention?" Lana asserted

Lana's pawn attacks Luna's rook; It hits! 3 more hits left before it shatters!

Luna freezes up…

Lana waits patiently…

"Ok fine, but I only do it so Lincoln will notice me! It's hard to stand out from your other siblings, especially in a large family!

"I see, competing with nine other sisters for your brother's attention would make you try to do something to make you stand out…"

"So, do you feel that one of them will take Lincoln away from you?"

Lana's pawn attacks, Luna's rook takes another hit! 2 more to go!

"No, me and Linc have the strongest sibling bond out of anyone!"

"Then why do you sound so unsure?"

Lana's pawn attacks, Luna's rook gets hit again! Just 1 more left!

"Ok…fine, I'm jealous! That Lincoln will want to spend more time with her than me…" Luna said in a melancholic tone "I just want my brother to appreciate me…"

"The sister your talking about…"

"It's Luan, isn't it?"

Lana's pawn attacks! Luna's Black rook is shattered!

"Yes, I'm worried that Lincoln will spend more time with Luan than with me."

"But he wants to spend time with both of you equally!"

"Luan has more to offer than me! She's talented, nice, funny and supportive! What do I have?!

"Caring, coolness, and a rockin' personality! Come on Luna, Lincoln likes all of us!"

"You're right. He should choose who he wants to spend time with. After all, it's pretty selfish of me to hog his attention…"

On the other side of the chessboard…

Luan has a black queen on her side!

"So, how's Funny Business Inc. doing?" Leni questioned

"It's great! We book a lot of gigs and make everyone so happy!"

"How has Lincoln been assisting you?"

"He hands me comedy props and helps out with my act!"

Leni waits patiently…

"…"

Leni waits patiently…

"… what are you waiting for?"

Leni waits patiently…

"You think I'm hiding something?"

Leni waits patiently…

"Fine, I didn't want to say it, but I almost fired him."

"Why would you fire your own sibling?"

Leni's white queen charges Luan's black queen; 5 hits remaining!

"It's nothing personal, but this IS a business and I want the customers to be happy, it's what they're paying me for. That's why I fired you, you didn't deliver the punchline to my act."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"All I know is Lincoln got in over his head and pleaded with me to bail him out."

"And you helped him out of the kindness of your heart? You didn't gain anything from helping him?" Leni pressed further

Leni's queen attacks! 4 more times to go!

"Well no, I helped him after he said Funny Business Inc. would lose its reputation. I wanted him to fail actually, he was getting an ego; Thinking that all it takes to be a clown is falling on your butt for an hour. Maybe him crashing and burning would teach him a lesson." Luan explained

"Ok, what happened next?"

"Well, he had to entertain some emo tweens. But lucky for him, I already know how to deal with them. I had him help with my act and they were entertained. Well, as much as an emo kid can show enthusiasm anyway…"

"Do you enjoy spending time with Lincoln?" Leni asked

"Of course, I do. He's my brother! Why wouldn't I?" Luan said with a mix of bewilderment and annoyance

"Are you jealous that some of the other sisters spend more time with him?"

Leni's queen attacks! 3 hits left!

"…" Luan has a sad look on her face

"So, that's a yes, then?"

"Yes, I want him to spend some time with me, too. Just like how he hangs around Lana or Luna. Those two are the closest with Lincoln."

"Tell me more about your relationship with Luna." Leni stated

Leni's queen attacks! 2 more hits left!

"…"

Leni waits patiently…

"…"

Leni waits patiently...

"…"

"…"

"She's better than me."

"How so?"

"It's just…she's so awesome, and talented, and kind. It's no wonder why Lincoln prefers hanging out with her than me."

"But you're all those things too, Lincoln can hang out with both of you!"

"I really would like to believe that, I really do, but if Lincoln had to pick between either me or Luna, he'd choose Luna."

"…"

"Am I wrong?"

"Yes, I would believe he'd choose you, Luan."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better. Thanks…but it won't work, I know in my heart he'd pick her over me…"

-10% of Truth Timer, 58% remaining…

("I thought being nice would help, but if it's honesty she wants…")

"NO! He'd pick **BOTH** of you! Lincoln couldn't stand to see either of you unhappy, so he'll choose to do both of your activities, just to make you both happy!"

Leni's queen attacks! 1 hit more before it shatters!

"Lincoln…" Luan begins to cry

"You're jealous of Luna, aren't you?" Leni inquired

Leni's queen attacks! Luan's black queen gets hit and shatters!

The VR chessboard disappears; Lana, Luna, Leni and Luan appear back in the Performer's room.

LOGIC CHESS; COMPLETE!

* * *

Luna and Luan approach each other.

"Look sis, I got to tell you something."

"I do too…"

"I'VE BEEN JEALOUS THAT YOU'D STEAL LINCOLN AWAY FROM ME SO WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SPEND ANYMORE TIME TOGETHER!" Both of them shouted in sync.

"What? You've been jealous… of me?" Both of them said to each other

"But you're so much better than me." Luna replied "You are kind, funny, and supportive of everything Lincoln does. Even when he's becoming selfish, you get a confused look instead of an angry one!"

"No, you're awesome, talented, and way cooler than I could ever be." Luan shot back in response "I mean, when was the last time anyone actually laughed at my bad puns and not internally cringing at how bad they are. I mean you have so much talent, even your idol, Mick Swagger, noticed!"

"WHAT?! How did you- "

"I heard him praising you when we went to enjoy the rest of the Family Fun Fair that day."

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way, sis."

"Can't we just…make up and promise to always help Lincoln?"

"Yeah, let's do it."

Both of them embraced each other with a hug. Leni took a picture of it on her cellphone and posted it to _Facebook_.

"Aww, so CUTE!" Leni squealed in delight

"I'm glad you two made up." Lana said "Now, here's proof you've been inducted into the Covalence Network. Leni made these badges, I think they're pretty awesome. She made 13 of them, one for each of our family members…though once that happens, Covalence will disband, since it's purpose would have been fulfilled by then… either way; Here are your badges, Luna and Luan."

Luna and Luan take the badges. It has a picture of a nucleus with 8 electrons orbiting around it. The nucleus has white neutrons and orange protons making up its composition. The eight electrons orbiting it are colored purple on Luna's badge and colored yellow on Luan's badge. Luna's badge has the number 9 on it, while Luan's has 8.

"The numbers and colors are tailored to you as a person. See, mine has the number 4, because I am the fourth youngest, and the electrons on my badge are colored blue, because I'm associated with that color, same with Leni and Lincoln, whose numbers and colors are 10/seafoam green and 6/orange, respectively." Lana clarified

"Sweet, thanks, little sis, later." Luna said

"You can visit here anytime, after all, this is a shocking revelation and with 7 people, our bonds are electrifyingly strong! I hate to be the poor zap who messes with Covalence! This excitement has gotten me all charged up!" Luan said, achieving a 4 times bad pun combo.

Lana and Leni leave, knowing that the recruitment was a success. They head to their base of operations to tell Lincoln the good news. Lana enters the password and they enter Lincoln's room.

"Ok, we've just convinced Luna and Luan; Now it's 7-6…we're halfway there…"

"But are we living on a prayer?" Lincoln sarcastically remarked, making a musical reference that Luna would be proud of

"This is as balanced as we can get without one side having too much power. I'm going to go relax, see you later, Lincoln." Lana turns to leave, but Lincoln grabs her and pulls her back…he wraps his arms around her and hugs her. Lana hugs him back and blushes.

"Thank you… for everything…little sis." Lincoln said to her

"No problem Linc, but…don't go all soft on me…" Lana replied

Lana exits Lincoln's room and heads back to her room, once there. Lola gives her a pink mail…

"Someone must really care about you, Lans." Lola said "They left you this party invitation, and it looks like you're the guest of honor… I'm not jealous of you, or anything, but…enjoy that party for me, Lana."

"S-Sure…s-sis." Lana replied, surprised. She opens the pink mail and reads the invitation:

 _ **You are cordially invited to a party  
** **It will be in the basement  
** **Games, food and a good time will be had!  
** **Lana, you deserve this after working so hard!  
**_

 _ **From, a concerned sister**_

* * *

"Hmm…this seems like a trap. But they only want me…" Lana debates on asking for help but decides against it "No, if someone is with me, the trap won't be sprung, and if it's an ambush…they'd just beat me up once they leave, even worse, is that if they leave, they'd call me a liar. Sorry guys, this is my burden, and I have to carry it."

Lana goes into the kitchen and descends down into the basement, a shadow tries to assail her with a wooden baseball bat, but Lana parries the attack with her radial bone, disarms the attacker, knocks them away into the shadows and breaks the bat on her knee, it splinters in two with a sickening snap!

("So, this IS an ambush! I'd better be on guard at all times!") Lana thought

"Going in without backup? I only have one thing to say about that…" The shadow taunted

"Y'all are stupid!"

Suddenly, footsteps are heard descending the stairs. Their footsteps sound like heartbeats, but it's a familiar heel-clacking sound. That can only be one sister…

Lana cocks her fists backward, ready to defend herself…she has to get the jump on this second assailant to have any hope of getting out of here.

"The hated twin who beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up… yeah, big bad Lola is here! Want to see what corruption looks like? Here it is in human form! It's your girl, Lola!"

("Somehow, I don't think that's right…")

"But, wait until you see the surprise the Trinity of Violence has just in store for you Lana."

The lights turn on, we see Lola, Lynn and Lori in the room. There are 4 speakers in the around the room. Lola presses a button and sounds of an insect swarm begin to play. It deafens everyone. Lola presses a second button and Guzma's theme from Pokémon Sun and Moon begins to play, it's been perfectly calibrated to make Lana deaf, without penetrating the thin walls of the Loud House…it took them a few days to get the volume just right…

"You've been messing with the balance of this house, Lana. Don't you remember what Lori said about this? That it will open up a can of worms."

"What's so bad about that? Worms rule!" Lana shot back with a defiant look

"Alright TOV, let's rough her up!"

Lana's Intimidate ability activates!

Lola's attack fell by 1 stage!

Lynn's attack fell by 1 stage!

Lori's attack fell by 1 stage!

Lola used Play Rough!

Lana takes 42 damage!

Lana used Sucker Punch on Lola!

Lola's Queenly Majesty ability activates!

Sucker Punch was nullified!

Lori used Quash on Lynn!

Lynn now goes last!

Lynn used Close Combat!

Lana narrowly avoided the attack!

Lana used Mud Bomb on Lola!

Lola takes 152 damage!

"Why you little- that was my favorite dress! You're going to pay for that!"

Lola's aura flared to life; Lola's special attack was raised by 3 stages!

Lola used Charm!

Lana's attack fell by 2 stages!

Lori used Bestow!

It failed…

"Wait, Bestow?! Is she trying to help me?"

Lynn used Dynamic Punch!

Lynn missed!

Lana used Protect!

Lola used Nasty Plot!

Lola's Special Attack was raised by 2 stages!

Lori used Instruct on Lynn!

Lori pleaded with Lynn to stop; Nothing happened!

Lynn used Superpower!

No effect!

Lynn's attack fell by 1 stage!

Lynn's defense fell by 1 stage!

Lana used Play Rough on Lynn!

It's not very effective…

Lynn takes 41 damage!

Lola used First Impression!

Lana takes 77 damage!

Lori used Present!

Lana takes 42 damage!

Lynn used Superpower!

Lana takes critical damage!

Lana held on using the Focus Band!

Lana used Play Rough on Lola!

It's not very effective…

Lola takes 61 damage!

Lola used Nasty Plot!

Lola's special attack can't go any higher!

Lori used Present!

Lana's HP is maxed out?

"What, that should have knocked me out!"

"Don't worry, Lana! THIS will!"

Lynn punches the air rhythmically. She couldn't be… she is!

"Lynn we're supposed to rough her up, not kill her! Stop!" Lori and Lola shouted

Lynn doesn't listen…

Lynn gains a red aura…

Lynn unleashes her Z move; All-Out Pummeling!

Lana takes critical damage!

"Oh shit, let's bail!" Lori said

"Agreed." Lola responded

"Aww, I can't be allowed to finish the job? Your precious balance will be easier to achieve with 12 people…" Lynn quipped back

* * *

All of them leave, Lola turns off the insect swarm ambience and Guzma theme music. Unfortunately for the Trinity, the whole fight was caught on a hidden camera that Lisa installed sometime last year (what? You didn't think she'd bug just the bathroom, did you? No, she bugged the entire house with hidden cameras). Lana struggles to get up. She only got a few scrapes and bruises from the fight, but she's still sore from the skirmish…

Lana slowly limps up the basement steps into the kitchen. It's now nighttime. She slowly starts to climb the stairs to the second floor and starts to head toward Lincoln's room, but she thought, if Lincoln saw her like this, he would definitely wear that suit for the rest of his life if it meant protecting her! Lana can't let that happen, otherwise, this would have all been for nothing! This was to stop the family from forcing Lincoln to wear that thing… she can't bunk with Leni, because Lori is there, she can't bunk with Lucy, because Lynn is there and she can't stay in her own room, because Lola is there. She could stay with Lisa and Lily, but Lisa could still be a double agent, and rat out her plans to either the Trinity or their parents…that only leaves one option…

Lana knocks on the door…

"Are you guys still awake?"

Luna opens the door…

"Yeah, lit…

"What happened to you?! Are you ok?" Luna yelled in a hushed whisper

"I got ambushed, but don't worry, it's nothing major, just a few bruises, but… I can't let Lincoln see me like this, he'd freak out! So, can I bunk with you guys until these wounds heal?" Lana asked

"Fine…"

"Also, can you do me a favor? Can you run Covalence while I'm recovering?"

Luna is stunned that Lana actually trusts her, a new recruit, to run this network dedicated to keeping Lincoln safe.

"I'll do it, after all, I'm the one who's supposed to protect him." Luna assured

"Ok, great! Good night, Luna."

"Good night, Lans."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Here's the statistics from the Pokémon-esque battle. Note that Lori has terrible Pokémon moves. There's probably a reason for that.**

 **Lana  
** **Type: Poison/Ground  
** **Moves: Mud Bomb, Sucker Punch, Play Rough, Protect  
** **Item: Focus Band  
** **Preferred Stat: Special Defense**

 **Lola**

 **Type: Fairy/Normal  
** **Moves: Charm, First Impression, Nasty Plot, Play Rough  
** **Item: Destiny Knot  
** **Preferred Stat: Special Attack**

 **Lynn**

 **Type: Fighting  
** **Moves: Close Combat (All-Out Pummeling), Dynamic Punch, Mega Kick, Superpower  
** **Item: Fightinium Z  
** **Preferred Stat: Attack**

 **Lori**

 **Type: Normal  
** **Moves: Bestow, Instruct, Present, Quash  
** **Item: Leftovers  
** **Preferred Stat: Evasion**


	11. Psychological Warfare

**Author's Note: This website won't allow dots in their titles, so I had to write out chapter 10's title as Lana dot exe. I also found out it doesn't allow dots on these documents either. But enough about that, you want to hear about Sycophant. This chapter originally had 2 parts into it, but it was split because half of it didn't fit in thematically with the other part. What am I talking about? Chapter 11 is about gaslighting, chapter 12 is about ...well I won't spoil it, but both of them didn't fit in with one another, so if this chapter is lackluster, now you know why. Hopefully, it means that chapter 12 will be way better!**

 **Chapter Synopsis: Lola tries to gaslight Lincoln; Lana must teach her the error of her ways, through example**

* * *

It's been 31 days since the first encounter with the Trinity. Lana's wounds have almost fully healed. Luna told Lincoln what had happened and that Lana was staying with them until this incident blows over. With Lana out of the picture temporarily…the Trinity has launched full scale psychological assaults to try and undo the damage Lana has done and restore order to the Loud house (even if it's chaotic order, it's still better than pure chaos, which is what they think will happen if Lana successfully convinces everyone to join Lincoln's side). All of their attempts failed, as the bonds between the 6 Covalence Network members are so strong, they resist simple mind tricks! Luna has done an amazing job as acting leader, but now, it's time for Lana to retake her place as the second-in-command of Covalence!

"Ok, thanks Luna, you done an amazing job…it looks like Covalence has become even stronger during my recovery!" Lana exclaimed "But now, it's time for me to become the leader again."

Alright, stay safe, little dudette." Luna said

Lana enters the password and enters Lincoln's room.

"Hey Linc, I think I'll take a break from Covalence duties today." Lana tried to persuade Lincoln

"You've done more than enough, take as long as you need." Lincoln responded

Lana leaves Lincoln's room and heads back into her old room, the one she shares with Lola… Lola speaks up.

"Alright, I know we beat you up, but to not talk to us for 30 days? Was it really that bad? We just wanted for you to stop interfering with the fragile dynamic of this house. It's like a house of cards, move one, and the whole thing falls apart…do you see where I'm coming from, Lans?"

"…Yeah." Lana shot back bitterly at her

Lincoln comes by…

"Alright Lola, you said you wanted me to help you choreograph a ribbon dance or something? Let's start." Lincoln said with a smile

Lola turns to Lana…

"Did you hear something?"

"Oh, Lincoln wants to help you perform a ribbon dance."

"Who's Lincoln?"

"Stop trying to mess with me, Lols. Lincoln. Our brother."

"What are you talking about, Lana? The Loud House only has 10 girls in the family."

"I can hear everything you're saying, you know." Lincoln butted in

"No, there are 11 siblings, 10 girls and 1 boy."

"I know that you're a tomboy and you want a brother, but so far, none of the attempts turned out… 10 tries… 0 guys."

"Are you trying to make me mad, Lola?!"

"No, I am merely stating the truth, dear twin."

Lana leaves, Lincoln follows suit.

"Why is she pretending you don't exist, Linc? This is a new low, even for her." Lana questioned

* * *

"I believe I may have an answer for that." Lisa declared as she exits her room. Lana and Lincoln approach her

"What Lola is trying to do to Lincoln is an advanced psychological mind trick called "gaslighting". It's mostly used by stalkers…basically they twist the truth so much, that the person being gaslit doesn't know what the actual truth is. If I say "Lincoln doesn't exist" enough times, eventually, he'll start to believe it. This is what Lola is trying to do. She's crazy for doing it though, because this could permanently damage the person's brain." Lisa explained

"If that's the way she's going to play then…" Lana pondered

The scene changes to Lana and Lincoln doing activities too dirty for Lola to even get close to, like playing in the mud. Somehow, Lola actually goes up to them and says:

"Hey Lana, you look all alone. You know, I hate getting filthy but if it will make you happy, I'll play with you."

"Lincoln, do you hear something?"

"I think Lucy told me about these once, they're known as "banshees", spirits of women whose piercing wail will make your ears bleed and usually signals death."

"Luckily, it didn't wail yet, so we live another day."

"We need Lucy's book, she must have summoned it through an occultist ritual. We need to send it back to Hell where it came from!"

"Agreed, we need to keep our family safe."

Lincoln and Lana run inside, Lola follows them...

"We need to borrow a book, Lucy. I think you accidently summoned a banshee to this realm!"

"Gasp! Those things are extremely dangerous! Luckily, I've been training myself to become a spirit medium so I can drive it back without any ancient tomes…It looks like your banshee has possessed a person, we need to exorcise it from that mortal vessel!" Lucy shouted

"Spiritus, purgo vos a hic mortalis puella's corporis! In quod nomine ec quod Pater, quod Filius et quod Sanctus Spiritus, ego exsilium vos cessim ad Infernum!" Lucy bellowed the incantation, a flash of white light blinds the trio "Now, wear these earplugs until we banish it from this plane! It will shriek, so wear these if you don't want to die!" Lucy stated

Everyone puts the earplugs in. Lucy crafts a protective salt barrier so the spirit can't physically possess and/or kill them. She forcefully commands the banshee to leave! Lola is annoyed by all these overblown theatrics and leaves. Once she does, Lincoln, Lana and Lucy celebrate.

"The banshee has been exorcised back to Hell!"

"We did it!"

"Our family is safe!"

"Well, time for our next scene."

* * *

Luna, Luan and Lisa are at the next scene and Lola passes by them. Luan stops her.

"Hey you! Want to help with my magic trick? I need a volunteer and you just happened to pass by. So, want to do it?" Luan questioned

"Fine, but only so I can get out of here faster." Lola answered

"Great, now enter this box."

Lola does so. Luan closes the box.

"Now our lovely violaist will play her tune…"

Luna plays a seven-note piece on her viola.

"Next we open the box and see that no one is in the box!"

Lola shouts "You suck!"

Luan responds to the 0-member audience:

"Audience, my trick does not suck. Look, I even brought a scientist to assure you it's not a trick, well scientific expert?"

Lisa goes up to the box, Lola smacks her!

"Silly me, I must have hit my head on the box's side…anyway, there is no trapdoor, like with other similar tricks. Our volunteer has disappeared into thin air! Luan isn't just a magician, she might very well be a goddess with this kind of power!" Lisa proclaimed

* * *

Lola storms off stage. She sees Leni, so she tries to sit next to her.

"… just another day of being alone…"

"Hello, I'm right here?!" Lola shouted

"…just listening to the hustle and bustle of downtown Royal Woods, MI…"

"Maybe Lana wants me to do another thing for Covalence?"

"Covalence? What is that?" Lola asked, puzzled

"…We need to stop the Duality of Violence from beating up Lincoln again!"

"Duality of Violence? But there are 3 of us!" Lola exclaimed

* * *

Lola goes back outside, she sees Lana kneeling beside something black. Lola checks it… the writing on it says "Here lies Lincoln Loud".

"Why didn't she acknowledge your existence? She could have helped you…"

"She didn't push you out of the way of that limo…how could she be that cruel?!"

"Who are you talking about?" Lola asked, slowly approaching Lana

"Of course, the driver is that pompous prick, Lord Tetherby. But he hates Lincoln. How could one of our own sisters, just let him die? I tried to save you, but it was too late. Goodbye, Lincoln…"

Lana lays down a flower on the marker. Lola realizes that she was the one that let Lord Tetherby kill Lincoln by limo. Worse, Tetherby won't even go to prison! He's rich, so he can post the $6 million-dollar bail and walk out within an hour! She breaks down crying.

"Oh, Linky! I won't take you for granted ever again!" Lola decried while crying

"Do you really mean that, Lola?" Lana questioned

"Yes, Lans! I won't pretend anyone else doesn't exist anymore, promise!"

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"I swear, I don't want one of my siblings to die! If this is what happens, then I'll remember everyone's names and faces!"

"Ok, come on out, everyone!"

All the Covalence members (and Lisa and Lucy) come out. Lincoln is also there and alive and well.

"Yeah, Lisa told me about your gaslighting plan, so we agreed to give you a taste of your own medicine. Since you pretended Lincoln didn't exist, we came up with a situation where he didn't. That grave is just one of Lucy's Halloween decorations, with the inscription written in marker. The flash of light was a special effect from one of Lisa's inventions and the false trapdoor was an optical illusion painted on the underside of the box. Lincoln even went to Clyde's house, just in case you tried looking for him to convince yourself it wasn't a prank." Lana clarifies

"So, you pranked me?" Lola asked

"Sorry Lols, but even mom and dad agreed you went too far this time. We wanted to teach you that gaslighting people is too dangerous. Now please promise me, you won't use gaslighting for anything ever again? Because doing that is just heartless, even for you!"

"Ok, you've shown me enough… I, Lola Loud, will never psychologically manipulate my enemies ever again." Lola declares

"Ok then, from here onward, all psychological warfare is banned in the Loud house! No one is permitted to use it, not even our parents, for being too dangerous for anyone to handle, agreed?"

"Agreed!" Everyone shouted in unison

They all head back into the house…things are peaceful for now…

* * *

 **Author's Note: Wow, 2 author's notes on 1 chapter? That's very rare! But, this one is very minor. The fake story that Lana made up to describe Lincoln's death was that Lord Tetherby was out gallivanting around in his limo, doing rich people things, like showing everyone how superior he is, and talking down to the common folk. Well, one of Lincoln's sister's objects somehow got into the street and Lincoln, being a good brother, decides to retrieve the item. Well, Tetherby didn't see him and ran him over with his limo. Lana saw the whole thing go down from the upstairs window and rushes down to try and help save him, but he was killed on impact...Lana is such a good liar, isn't she? Remember when she lied about Lola killing her pet frog, Seymour, in the episode Sound of Silence? Yeah, even though Lana is a good liar, she really doesn't like to lie. In Sound of Silence, Lola blackmailed Lana into helping her get back at Lincoln for ignoring his sisters (in this story's version of the show's canon, anyway) and she does it here to teach Lola a lesson.**


	12. Of Mud And Mascara

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana imitates Lola, hilarity ensues**

* * *

Lana wakes up the next day to find Lola talking to Leni while wearing her clothes. Confused, Lana goes up to the pair to investigate this matter.

"So, can you remind me what it is you guys do in Covalence?" Lola asked with a slightly deeper voice

!

("So that's it, she wants to find out what Covalence is in order to fracture it! Come on, Leni, don't give her the information…")

"Hey, has your hair always been worn down under your cap like that, Lana?" Leni questioned

"No, I'd thought I'd try a new style?" Lola said, hoping that Leni would be stupid enough to fall for this

"A style that looks EXACTLY like your twin sister's? No, I'm a fashion expert, there's no way you'd just randomly wear your twin's signature hairstyle, especially if you are a polar opposite twin! Nice try, Lola. But Lincoln will stay safe another day thanks to me!" Leni walked away, seeming proud of herself

Lana goes up and confronts Lola…

"Lola, why are you dressed like me? You hate getting dirty!"

"But I love getting dirt! Leni is smarter than usual, so props for managing to do the impossible."

"Oh, please! Leni was ALREADY smart, heck…she's the second smartest, only Lisa is smarter than her!"

"You actually think that sweet, lovable idiot is smarter than me?!"

"She already didn't fall for your trap."

"SHUT UP, LANA!"

"MAKE ME!"

Lana thought about beating that superior smirk off of Lola's face, but decides against it.

"You know what, no. You aren't even worth the effort. Leni has already proven herself. That's all we need to know. Later, Lola."

"LANA!"

Lana walks back into her room, she contemplates on how to deal with this Lola problem. Even though psychological warfare was banned in the Loud house, Lola still finds new ways to annoy everyone…if only someone can knock down her ego a few pegs. Maybe then she'll be more likely stop bothering us… Lana glances at one of Lola's pink dresses.

"I think I know how to _address_ this problem…"

* * *

After about 48 minutes of preparation, Lana decides to put Operation: Twinsanity into effect. A familiar shadow exits the room, the smell of perfume wafts down the corridor. Lola heads downstairs and Lana follows her from a distance…

"Hey Lo…

"…"

"oh…"

"my…"

"god."

"There's 2 of them?!" Lincoln exclaimed to himself "Nope, I'm done. I'll get the rope!"

"Stay back, I got this." Lola said to her…self?

"Linky, can I come in?"

"IONME, disable lock."

The electrified barrier is disabled, Lola walks in…

"What do you want, you little miscreant?" Lincoln said menacingly "You know, you've been kind of a jerk to Lana lately, you should make up with her."

Lola looks to the left and right, she gets close to Lincoln and whispers in his ear.

"It's me…"

"Lana."

"I'm in disguise."

"I'm trying to get Lola off of our backs by knocking her ego down to size!"

"Wow, great disguise, it will fool anyone, but how will you do that?" Lincoln whispered back

"I'll act like Lola! Once Lola sees her true self, she'll realize what a jerk she is and stop bothering us!" Lana responded

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Nope, but it's our only option."

* * *

With that, Lana leaves and heads back to her room…she sleeps in Lola's bed.

Lola (the real Lola) knocks her awake.

"Hey! Who said you could sleep in MY bed?!"

"ME, Lana!" Lana responded in a falsetto voice, it sounds exactly like Lola's

"What? I'm not Lana!"

"Neither am I!"

"Why don't you sleep over there?" Lola said as she pointed to Lana's bed

"Because my bed is more comfortable." Lana shot back

"Right, so go sleep on it."

"I am."

Lola realizes she's not getting anywhere with this conversation. She sleeps in Lana's bed. Lana's pets glare at her...

* * *

The next morning, the twins go downstairs to get breakfast. Everyone immediately notices the 2 Lolas.

"Uh, Lis, did you duplicate Lola with one of your inventions?"

"No."

"Maybe one of her tiara's gemstones split her into 2?"

"Can we get a good Lola and a bad Lola?"

"Good Lola? Does that even exist?"

"Maybe it's a new fashion statement."

"No, polar opposites wear OPPOSITE clothes, not identical ones."

"The apocalypse must be here, 2 Lolas signal the end times."

"Ok, which one is Lola and which one is Lana?" The parents asked

"She is!" The twins pointed at each other

"Right, I know how to tell who's who." Lynn Sr said confidently "Lana, the toilet's clogged, I can show you how to fix it…"

Both Lolas do nothing…

("Aw man! Dad wants to show me how to unclog the toilet?! I must resist…for Lincoln!") Lana thought

"Dang it, I thought that would work." Lynn Sr said

"How about this, dad?" Lynn Jr responded "Lana, it rained yesterday. That means there's a fresh batch of mud for you to play around in!"

("Not mud! I love mud! But there's more important things for me to do than to play around in the mud. I need to shut down Lola's plans once and for all!") Lana pondered to herself

"Alright, Lincoln. Maybe you can find out which one is the real one."

Lincoln looks up something on his computer, he prints out something and shows it to the twins. It's a flyer for a pageant…

"Lola, here's another pageant for you to compete in. The "Beauty and Brains" pageant…it starts at 8 PM today. Don't you want another shiny trophy to add to collection? Don't you want to prove you're the best and stroke your own ego? Well, there's only one opening left, I already looked it up on the internet. Well Lola, better sign up." Lincoln said smarmily

(Darn you, Lincoln! How dare you use a beauty pageant to prove which one of us is the real Lola! Well, there's only one option left…)

Both Lola's try to sign up… the one on the left managed to sign up first (Lana even forged her signature! Although, Lola's signature looks pretty easy to forge, so…).

("Ha! I signed up first! I automatically win! There's no way Lola would risk her precious pageant reputation over being a jerk to our family! If I lose, I single handedly assassinate her reputation! She might beat me up for a solid month over it, but she'll stop being a jerk to the rest of us after it. If I win, however... then Lola's world will be shattered! She'll realize that her crude twin can be just as proper as her! She'll respect me more and stop hazing us! It's the perfect plan!") Lana thought with a confident look

* * *

Lana arrives at the pageant building with Lincoln accompanying her. The rest of the family watch the pageant on the Princess Channel (Lola still watches it sometimes and Lynn Sr never replaced it. (He still should have gotten the Sports Channel…)). This is the same building where the "Little Miss Prim and Perfect" pageant happened a few months back.

"I never thought you'd be back here, Lana." Lincoln commented

"Me neither, Linc. But the plan is finished. I just need to participate in the pageant, it doesn't matter if I win or lose!"

"Well, I hope you win, Lana."

"Thanks, Lincoln." Lana said "Alright, Lana. Time to show those uppity snobs what I can do!"

* * *

Lana enters the door and gets ready for the competition. While she is preparing for part one of the "Beauty and Brains" pageant, a girl approaches her. She has auburn hair and piercing purple eyes, she wears a periwinkle dress that looks exactly like Lola's. She takes off her contacts and reveals her red eyes (not bloodshot, just the iris of her eye is colored red). She starts talking…

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the queen of mean herself, Lola Loud." The girl said condescendingly

"Who are you?"

The girl looks offended. She grabs Lana by the dress sash and says in a venomous tone:

"I'm your worst nightmare, Loud! It's your best enemy! Lindsey Sweetwater! But don't worry Loud, once I humiliate you on national television, I'll dethrone you as Michigan's sweetheart. I will get my revenge on you, you uppity prick!"

Lindsey throws Lana away!

"I'll be expecting a fierce competition, Loud! It will make defeating you all the sweeter, ta-ta!" Lindsey leaves while doing the "noblewoman's laugh". Ironically, even though both Lola and Lindsey are mortal enemies, they both share something in common, they aren't noble in winning.

After all the girls are done preparing, the contest starts. The cameramen in the background broadcast it live all across the States! The Loud family are eagerly awaiting the contest.

* * *

"Hello, and welcome everyone to the 46th annual "Beauty and Brains" Pageant, I'm your host, Daniella Dufresne!" Now here are the judges!

The camera swivels to show the judges panel. One of the judges is a ruggedly handsome man with blackish-gray hair, the next one is an African-American man who has a black mustache, but is bald, and finally is an old dude with a stern expression, this man has NEVER given a perfect score in anything, in all of his years of judging, and everyone knows this!

"First up is the beauty portion. Our panel of judges will decide on who is the most beautiful by closely following this guide that top scientists made while researching all these different cultures (Really, this is just to get the "feminists" off their back so that they'll stop complaining about "objectifying women", even though all the contestants volunteered to be here) now here's our first contestant, Lindsey Sweetwater!

Lindsey does some poses and the judges deliberate with each other…

"7!" Said the ruggedly handsome man.

"10!" Said the bald African-American.

"4!" Said the old dude.

Alright, and that means Miss Sweetwater has 21 out of-

"Whoops, I did it again!" Said the African-American man "I held up the wrong card! Sorry everybody, I meant to show this one instead!"

He holds up a "0" card…

Alright, so Miss Sweetwater has a score of 11 points out of 30… Next contestant is…

(I'll save you the trouble and skip to when Lana performs)

Ok, it's time for our last contestant to perform in the "Beauty" portion of this pageant, here she is, Miss Lola Loud!

Lana walks up to the judges…and does absolutely nothing. The judges whisper their deliberations to each other:

"What is she doing?"

"Why isn't she posing?"

"Well, give her points for originality."

"I thought this Lola kid was a firebrand!"

"This is intriguing me…"

"She's not confident like all the other girls…"

"No, and she looks the cleanest out of all of the other choices."

"Yes, the other ones were all overextravagant and gaudy, this minimalistic approach is working in her favor."

"There's a term for this, what was it called again?"

"Reticence."

"Yes, that. Her reticent personality makes her more endearing."

"So, we're all in agreement, right."

"Yes."

"Ok, the judges have been taking their time with this one…the anticipation is killing us! Judges, what is the score you'll give to Miss Loud?"

"10!" Said the ruggedly handsome man.

"10!" Said the African-American man.

The old dude looks deep in thought…

"…"

"Well, don't keep us in suspense!" Daniella admonished

Finally, he raised up a card, he slowly turns it to host…

"10!" Said the old dude.

"Oh, my god! He finally did it, he gave a perfect "10" score! I thought he would die from old age before that would ever happen!" Daniella exclaimed "Even if Miss Loud loses, she still wins, because she managed to do what no one has ever done before, get a 10 from our strictest judge! Alright, the judges have eliminated the 5 lowest scoring contestants, and now the top 5 will move on to the "Brains" portion, we'll be back after these commercial breaks!"

* * *

Lana heads backstage and tries to prepare for the "Brains" portion of the pageant, but Lindsey Sweetwater confronts her

"Well Loud, they should remember this for a long while. They should rename you to Lola Quiet!" Lindsey scoffed "I don't know how the strictest judge could give ME a 4 and give this upstart a 10?! Well, my dad has connections to the rich, and he got some rich guy to pay for my tutor in all fields of knowledge! What was his name again? Tetherball?"

("Lindsey's dad knows Lord Tetherby?! This is really bad!") Lana noted mentally

"Who's the tutor?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, maybe he's in the audience, after all…he wants me to win!" Lindsey taunted

After all the advertisements are done airing, the stagehand leads the remaining 5 contestants back to the stage.

* * *

"Welcome back." Daniella stated "Now we move on to the 2nd and final part of the pageant, the "Brains" portion! We will ask you a series of questions, quiz-show style, and we will ask each person individually until it's down to the final 2, where they will compete head to head for this shiny crown! If you miss the question, you're out. You have 30 seconds to answer each question, let's go!

1\. What is the most annoying "L" word?

Everyone answers…

Alright, 3 of you got the correct answer of "Literally". Now who moves on to the next question?

…

It's Lindsey, Lola, and Lila!

2\. What is a hem?

Everyone answers…

Alright, 2 of you got it right, being "a sewn fold to finish a garment". Who moves on?

…

It's Lindsey and Lola! We're down to 2 contestants left! Time for the head to head round!

"And time for my master plan! "T", "H", time to distract!" Lindsey said to a hidden communicator inside her dress

3\. What is Mick Swagger's top selling song of all time?

("I know this one, Luna told me!")

"Transformation." Both of them said

Correct!

Suddenly, a fat rich man who kind of looks like _Pops_ from _Regular Show_ , starts heckling Lana!

"See here, Loud! You suck!"

Lincoln is in the audience when he recognizes that voice…

"I say, you don't deserve to be in this pageant!"

It's unmistakable! Lincoln confronts him!

"Your plan won't work, Tetherby!" Lincoln shouted at him

"Well, if it isn't the kid who defaced my limo, well don't worry! Once this is over, I'll put your whole family in prison!" Tetherby said smugly

"See here, Loud…" Tetherby said to him "Sweetwater's going to win, I owe her dad, so this is my job! Besides, ruining your sister's life is just a bonus!" He laughed boisterously

Security comes up to him…

4\. Who runs Funny Business Inc.?

"Luan Loud." Lana said

…

"15 seconds, Sweetwater." Daniella said to Lindsey

…

"Luan Loud?" Lindsey questions

Correct!

"Mr. Tetherby, you are under arrest for attempting to interfere with this contest!" The security guard said

Lord Tetherby grabs out a stack of money and tries rotating it around like a hypnotizing wheel!

"I am not under arrest, he is..." He said, pointing to Lincoln "…for defacing my limo."

"Let's add attempted bribery of a law enforcement official, you're coming with us!"

They approach Lord Tetherby…

5\. What is Royal Woods' baseball team name?

"Help, police brutality!" Lord Tetherby shouts into the audience as the security guards escort him off the premises, leaving everyone stunned!

"Ok then… let's continue." Daniella stated, confused

"The Royal Woods Squirrels." Both of them stated

Correct!

"Alright, I know just Hugh to call! Distract Lola Loud!" Lindsey said to the hidden communicator

"I'd really rather not, if it's all the same to you."

"Look, my dad got Tetherball to pay for your community college tuition, so this is what you have to do in return."

"Ugh, what do I have to do?"

"Just stand around and look pretty."

6\. What is this card?! (She shows a fancy card with a wheel on it)

("Oh, yeah! Lucy says this card was my fortune on that day…it was called…")

"Wheel of Fortune." Both of them shouted

Suddenly, Lindsey shouts "Hey look, a male model!" While pointing to Hugh, who was in the audience. The camera swivels over to him, everyone looks at him, even Lana!

("Oh no! It's him... Hugh! Must… not… look!")

* * *

Meanwhile back at the Loud house…

 **EEEEEEEK!**

Lynn Sr exits the kitchen and find all of his daughters staring intently at the screen…

"Girls, what's going on?" He questioned

"Hugh is at the pageant building!" Lori squealed with delight

"So, who cares?"

"Dad, it's Lincoln's tutor." Lisa clarified

"The British one?!" Lynn Sr inquired

"Yes, the perfect one." Luna sighed

Lynn Sr joins his daughters, he is the closest to the screen. He's so close, in fact, that he can feel the TV's radiation hit his face.

* * *

Back to the pageant…

7\. What type of crown is this? (Daniella shows an ornate looking crown)

"Diadem?" Both of them said, with uncertainty

Correct!

Lana eyes dart around to look at Hugh…she tries to focus on the screen but his perfect body is making it so hard….

"Ha, you're losing it!" Lindsey mocked

8\. What type of animal is most associated with a nictitating membrane?

"Amphibian." both of them said, confident

Correct!

9\. What is a covalent bond?

("I sure am lucky that Lisa taught me about this…")

"When atoms share electrons to obtain a stable configuration." both of them declared

Correct!

"Alright, time for drastic measures, Hugh, take your shirt off!" Lindsey commanded into the hidden communicator

"Is this really necessary?!"

"Yes, now do it!"

Hugh takes his shirt off, revealing his glistening 6-pack abs! Lana is practically drooling over him. A loud screech is heard in the distance… Lincoln wonders where that came from, then he sees shirtless Hugh in the audience.

"Oh no," Lincoln said "This just got 100 times harder… come on Lana, you can resist his handsomeness!"

10\. In _Gyakuten Kenji 2_ , who is _Edgeworth's_ main rival prosecutor?

("I remember… I saw Lincoln play it one time…it's even better than the original "Ace Attorney" games… but Gyakuten Kenji 2… that was never released here. That is a Japan-only game…")

"Sebastian Debeste." Lindsey stated confidently

Lana analyzes the question… she's using every last once of willpower she has to not look at shirtless Hugh…

…10 seconds left, Loud." Daniella said to Lana

…

"Yumihiko Ichiyanagi." Lana finally said

"…well, we have two different answers." Daniella said "Whoever has the right answer, will win this crown. If both of you get it wrong, we'll ask another question until one person answers right and one person answers wrong."

The judges whisper something to Daniella.

Ok… oh…. Well, I see then…

It seems both of you have the correct answer, but one is more correct than the other.

The answer is…

…

…

…

…

Yumihiko Ichiyanagi!

"Congratulations, Miss Loud! You won the 46th annual "Beauty and Brains" pageant!"

Lana goes up and accepts her win. Daniella puts the diadem on her head. Lana gives a short speech.

"I'd like to thank my sisters and brother for helping me. I wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for them."

"Everyone, let's give her a round of applause!"

The crowd erupts into cheers! Everyone starts clapping loudly.

Lana exits the building with Lincoln and the two of them head home. As they approach the Loud house, they notice all the windows are broken (no doubt from the sisters gushing over Hugh). Lincoln and Lana roll their eyes at each other and enter. Both of them receive a grand "welcome back" party from their family!

* * *

"To celebrate Lola's 50th pageant win…" Their mother began to say

"And to celebrate you getting a "10" from the strictest judge, against all odds…" Lynn Sr continued

"And to pull off that magnificent win, despite Lord Tetherby and Hugh interfering…" Lori continued

"We made this party especially for you. Congratulations, Lola!" Everyone finished

"Thanks, I just need to do something in my room, first." Lana said to everyone

Lana raced upstairs and changed out of Lola's clothes. She puts on the green shirt, overalls and red cap we're all familiar with and reties her hair back into her iconic pigtails. She heads down the stairs back to the dining room where everyone is.

"Hey, Lans! You missed it! Lola won her 50th pageant!" Luna said

"Everyone, before we begin, I have something to say." Lana declared

Lana takes off her cap and reveals a shiny diadem!

"Lana! Did you steal one of Lola's tiaras?" Lynn Sr angrily asked

"Are you trying to be as fashionable as her?" Leni inquired

"No." Lana answered "I didn't steal it, I WON it."

Everyone bursts out laughing!

"No, I literally can't believe that!" Lori said "The queen of muck and grime getting gussied up for a beauty pageant?!"

"Ask Lincoln, He'll vouch for me." Lana challenged

"As if! Lincoln was at Lola's pageant the whole time, so obviously, he'll say…" Lynn Jr challenged back

"Lana."

 **"WAIT, WHAT?!"** Everyone shouted

"Yeah, I said it. Lana won the pageant. Didn't you guys watch it on TV?"

"We watched Lola's pageant."

"Lana took Lola's place."

"Why would she do that?"

"I'll tell you why." Lincoln responded "She was tired of Lola hazing us, so she temporarily became her to see what it's like for Lola to deal with, well "Lola". It was to show her how much of an obnoxious jerk she was. Lana chose to enter the pageant, because it didn't matter if Lana won or lost, Lola would still back off on tormenting us, for fear of us damaging her pageant reputation."

"So, Lana was the one in the pageant?" Leni stated confusedly

"Yes, and she won. That diadem is proof of it." Lincoln reaffirmed

"Well then, Congratulations Lana!" Luna declared

Lana puts the diadem inside the Loud family trophy case. She puts it in Lincoln's portion, around his "Most Improved Brother" trophy (she doesn't have a portion of the case assigned to her, so she and Lincoln agreed to share it). She then joins the rest of her family to celebrate her second pageant win. After the night is over, Lana heads back to her room and lays on her bed. Lola begins to talk to her.

* * *

"Lana?"

"Yeah, Lola?"

"…"

"I'm happy for you."

"What?

"I mean to say, congratulations on your win today."

"Thanks, Lols…"

"Who would've thought, my twin sister actually winning a beauty pageant for the second time?"

"Don't get used to it, I only did it to get you to stop pestering me and Lincoln. I prefer being myself."

"Same, but you want me to stop messing with you?"

"…"

"…"

"Ok, I won't harass any of you again."

"Thanks, Lola."

"It's the least I can do for someone who's earned my respect."

"So, we aren't enemies anymore?"

"No, we're rivals, through and through! And… I'm glad it's you, Lana."

"Thanks?"

"I'm starting to see…why you like our brother so much."

"Really?"

"Yeah, actually… I feel kind of bad, we've been taking him for granted. So maybe you're right in your plan… I'll help you."

" You'll join us?"

"No, I'll placate the Trinity and make it easier for you to convince them."

"That's amazing! Well… goodnight, Lols."

"Goodnight, Lans."

* * *

 **Author's Note: I think that this is one of the chapters I'm most proud of. The host, Daniella, is just a female version of the original host, Donnie. The person who voiced him in real life changed sexes, so I thought to do the same for the character she voices. The judges are based off of real-life celebrities, can you guess who? The questions during the "Brains" portion of the pageant correspond to one of the Loud siblings. Only Lola's, Lana's and Lincoln's questions are out of order. Lily doesn't get a question, because she's a baby and we also don't know what she does differently from the other siblings.**


	13. No More Luck

**Chapter Synopsis: The house of cards is about to fall down; The Trinity of Violence WILL restore order to the Loud house!**

* * *

Lana starts today with a determined look on her face. The balance in the Loud House is now 6-7. Ordinarily, this would be a bad thing, with five sisters and two parents STILL thinking Lincoln is bad luck, and STILL forcing him to wear that ugly costume, but Lana knows that today will be the greatest turnabout for Covalence! She plans to convince Lucy and Lisa to join Covalence, thus leaving only their parents and the Trinity of Violence left! Seeing how they all care for Lincoln, the parents will abandon their silly superstition and force the scales to tip, making it 10-3! And even better? Lori and Lola have their ideals completely shaken up! They're so close to defecting from the Trinity! If that happens, only Lynn Jr will be left! If it's 12 against 1, she'll have to realize that this bad luck superstition was stupid!

Lana begins to start the grand turnabout of the Loud house, she heads to the middle-right room. This is Lynn and Lucy's room, she enters. Could this be a bad idea? Lana DOES want to recruit Lucy, but Lynn shares a room with her… being in a room with the person who should care the **MOST** about Lincoln and the person who cares the **LEAST** about him…a terrifying thought.

"Hey hotshot, what are you doing here?" Lynn said with an aura of confidence

"I need to ask Lucy something, is she here?" Lana replied back

"The Mistress of Melancholia? No, she isn't here."

"Alright, see you later, Lynn."

"Later."

Lana leaves the room and starts to head down the hallway to Lisa's and Lily's room. She figures if she can't find Lucy, maybe she should recruit Lisa first. Before she makes it, however, she hears a voice…

"Hey, Lana."

Lana jumps back, startled. She turns around and sees Lucy. Lana recovers from getting jumpscared and begins to respond back.

"Lucy, I've actually been wanting to see you!"

"I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"…"

"…"

"I want to join your group."

"Really?" Lana's face lit up "Ok, then."

Lana taps her forehead with her pointer finger, the VR chessboard reappears!

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN?

Lucy has a white knight and white bishop on her side!

"What? White chess pieces?! But I play White!"

Lana thinks about this for a moment…

"Does that mean…"

The VR chessboard disappears, Lana and Lucy are back on the upstairs hallway.

LOGIC CHESS; COMPLETE?

"You're serious… you don't have any doubts about Lincoln being bad luck?" Lana questioned

"No, I want to help Lincoln, just like how he helped me in the past." Lucy answered

"Ok… here's your official Covalence badge, Lucy."

Lana hands her a badge with the number 5 on it, the electrons surrounding the nucleus are colored black. Lucy leaves and Lana goes to confront Lisa. Once there, she explains to Lisa what is happening.

* * *

"Ok, I've been having some doubts about recruiting you, Lisa."

"Why is that?"

"Because it's always so hard to know exactly what you're thinking. After all, the inner machinations of your mind are an enigma."

"I feel offended that you used an infantile SpongeBob quote to describe me, but I see your point. You're intimidated by my vast knowledge and you're afraid I would've backstabbed you as soon as you left."

"Yeah, I thought as soon as I asked you to make that Cooling System, you would just reveal the plan to everyone."

"I'm not a tattletale, unlike your twin sister."

"Really? What about the time you told everyone that a bully was picking on Lincoln and he wanted you to not tell anyone?"

"Oh, right… I forgot about that."

"Well, you've proven yourself time and time again for helping us help Lincoln, so I present you with this! This was long overdue, but here, you've earned it…"

Lana hands Lisa her Covalence badge, it has the number 2 on it, while the electrons surrounding the nucleus are colored dark green.

"And here's one for Lily, I trust you to safeguard it."

Lisa also gets Lily's Covalence badge, hers has the number 1 on it and the electrons surrounding the nucleus are colored lilac.

"Even though your badge has the number 2 on it, I consider you our third-in-command."

"Really, you think I deserve such a high honor, especially after I treated Lincoln like garbage?"

"You did help with installing the Cooling System and IONME. Both help Lincoln immensely! Lincoln can withstand being in that suit for prolonged periods of time with the Cooling System, although I think he's almost out of coolant, and IONME protects him from any unwanted intrusions from us, giving him the alone time he so desperately needs. I think you've redeemed yourself, Lis."

"Well thanks, Lana! I won't let you down!"

"No, WE won't let Lincoln down."

* * *

Lana leaves and heads to Lincoln's room, she enters because Lincoln didn't reenable IONME after Operation Twinsanity was completed. Lana goes in and tells Lincoln the good news.

"Lincoln, I did it! I recruited every sibling who isn't a member of the Trinity!" Lana exclaimed proudly to him

"Wow, that's amazing! I knew you could do it, Lana!" Lincoln responded back. Both Lincoln and Lana embrace each other affectionately. This touching brother-sister moment would make anyone gush happily!

"So, what are you going to do now, Lana?" Lincoln questioned

"To finish this plan, I need to convince our **ENTIRE FAMILY** that you aren't bad luck! The scales are in our favor now, with it being 8-5! I just need to convince Lori, Lynn, Lola and our parents! Speaking of which…how's Lori doing with that whole "being nice to you" thing?" Lana stated

"Oh, it's great. She was genuinely sorry and tried to make amends with me. She even put down her phone and we spent a weekend bonding with one another…I think she's actually treating me like a brother and not a slave. We've gotten along so well that dad gave Lori her driving privileges and phone back. She had to re-add Bobby's contact information, but it seems like Lori is talking to Bobby less than normal. Overall, Lori seems…nicer. We used to have a bad relationship, but now she actually cares about what's happening to me. I don't know how you did it, Lana, but thanks, you've repaired one of the worst bonds I've ever had with one of my sisters!" Lincoln explained

"Well after THAT incident, Lori was forced to help the Trinity beat me up…but she never did. She tried to stop the others…I think she realizes how bad the Trinity really is. And after Operation Twinsanity was completed, Lola swore she wouldn't torment our siblings ever again! She's even trying to help us by taking down the Trinity from the inside, by placating their animosity towards us… Lincoln, I think Lori and Lola are planning to defect!" Lana declared proudly

"Then that means… Lynn is the only one left to convince."

"The Trinity of Violence is like a house of cards. Well it's time for the tower to fall, it's become so unstable that's it's only a matter of time…" Lana affirmed

"Aren't you excited?"

"Aren't you happy?"

"You're going to be free."

* * *

Lana leaves and heads back to her room to prepare for the final confrontation with the Trinity. Lola talks to her…

"Lana…I want to make amends with you. I feel terrible after all the things I've done to you over the years. I've invited you to a tea party…don't worry, this is not a trap. I really want you to come. But…if you don't…I'll understand. If you agree to come, it's in the backyard at 7 PM."

"Lola…"

Meanwhile…

"So, she thinks she can upset the balance of this house, huh?! No…the status quo must be kept. Lincoln must still be "unlucky", they need to think that. Lana, you've been messing with a house of cards, if you keep moving them around, it's going to fall. I need something to stop her, something to SCARE her off for good… yeah, that will do just fine."

Lana heads to the backyard, having decided to accept Lola's invitation, there's no one there. Lana calls Lola on her cellphone.

"Lols, where are you?"

"I'm still in our room getting ready for the tea party."

"It's 7'o clock…aren't you coming?"

"I'll be there soon, Lana."

"Ok, I'll see you then, bye."

Lana heads on over to the tea set. It looks very ornate, if not a little pink. Lana sits down and waits. Lola approaches her and sits down at 7:16. Lana and Lola talked for a while and had a good time, albeit a little short, seeing as the party ended at 7:24…

"You know, that was one of the only times I actually enjoyed a tea party, what did you do differently this time, Lola?"

"Nothing, it was just another regular tea party, Lana."

* * *

Meanwhile…a shadow has taken Lisa hostage! Both of them are in the basement.

"So, you'll help me with Operation Scarousel?" The shadow asked

"Like I'll help a member of the Trinity of Violence!" Lisa shot back

"Maybe you didn't hear me, Lisa? WILL YOU HELP ME WITH OPERATION SCAROUSEL?" The shadow said in a demanding tone

"NO!"

"I'll find a way to break you… got it. If you don't help me, we will kill Lincoln." The shadow bluffed

"Go right ahead, I don't care about Lincoln!" Lisa shouted

"So, you're too smart to fall for my bluff? Ok then, I'll destroy your science experiments."

"I can start over."

"I'll break your glasses."

"I performed LASIK eye surgery on myself, I can do it again."

"I'll beat you down."

"You beat down Lincoln and Lana already, so go ahead, I can take it."

"No, I won't resort to torture…let's be civil about it. I just want you to make a device that will detonate all these at once. Well, do it, and I'll let you go unharmed."

"I won't betray Lana."

"Lana? You care about her?"

"No, I don't."

"You know, our spy told us about the Covalence Network, she said that Lincoln was the leader…but no, Lincoln hasn't done anything besides being a little bitch-boy and wearing that suit. So eager to please his sisters, it almost makes me feel bad that he's this pathetic. ALMOST. No. Lana is the one who runs Covalence, isn't that right, Smarty?"

"…"

"Not talking, huh. Well don't waste your breath. I already know Lana is the one running the show. Make the device or we'll beat down Lana so savagely, not even the doctor will recognize her!" The shadow bluffed once again

"Lana…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I'll make your device."

(5 minutes later…)

"Alright, this device is locked on to multiple objects. Once you select the objects, just press the button to trigger them. Lisa uses it on a party popper, the popper pops. See?"

"Now was that so hard, Lisa?"

"Go to hell." Lisa said in a tranquil manner toward the shadow

"Now to put the operation into effect." The shadow leaves

"You'll get what's coming to you…" Lisa stated while looking up at one of her hidden cameras. "Wait till mom and dad find out about you guys…" Lisa chuckled

* * *

Back to the backyard of the Loud house, the twins head back to their room. Lana sits on her bed when Lynn comes in.

"Hey Lana, you have to help me! My basketball is stuck in some mud in the backyard. Can you help me get it out of there? I have a game tomorrow!"

"Why don't you get it yourself?" Lana retorted back

"I already tried, it's really wedged in there, come on Lana, I need your help. You'll go there first and I'll be right behind you, don't worry."

"Ok, fine…but I'm going to hang out with Lincoln after this."

* * *

Lana heads to the backyard and sees a basketball wedged in the mud. She approaches it. Luan, who just happened to be watching from the upstairs window from her and Luna's room, after annoying some of her siblings with a comedy routine, sees a shiny piece of plastic hidden in the grass.

"Wait… is that what I think it is?"

She looks around and sees more of them, at least 18 of them in all. Luan knows what these are, she uses them in pranks all the time, but after the last time these were used, someone got seriously hurt and Luan vowed never to prank someone with them again (ironically, it was to celebrate Lincoln's birthday, and she really wanted to start his momentous occasion with a bang…unfortunately, the bang was too big and sent Lincoln to the hospital for a few hours, but don't worry, even though the sisters hated her at first for doing this to Lincoln, Lincoln forgave her, and the sisters followed soon after). Luan starts to panic and starts going through her prank props, she finds a few of those plastic things she saw. She breathes a temporary sigh of relief. Luna asks her what's wrong.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Luna asked

"I saw something I hoped to never see again in the backyard." Luan answered

"What would that be?"

* * *

"Remember "Lincoln's Birthday Bang?""

"Oh yeah, you really _blew_ him away!"

"This isn't the time for jokes, Luna! I saw those things and no one is around to detonate them!"

Luna recognizes the seriousness of the situation. When her comedienne sister says there's no time for jokes, there's some serious funny business going on!

"There are 18 of those things in the backyard, and Lana is out there! I have to warn her before it's too late!" Luan shouted in a panic as she raced downstairs to try to warn Lana!

Luna looks in Luan's closet among all the comedy props and sees those plastic things that Luan was so afraid of after that incident. These are disabled firecrackers! After the "Lincoln's Birthday Bang" incident, Luan emptied all the firecrackers' gunpowder in the trash and destroyed the firecracker detonators with Lisa's help, rendering them useless! Somehow, someone has found 18 firecrackers and has the detonators for them. The fuses aren't lit, so the firecrackers are electronic! If someone detonates those firecrackers, the Loud family's backyard will be more roasted than their dad's Friday's frank and beans dinner! The noise will also annoy Mr. Grouse and he'll yell at them again, but that's the least of their worries! Luna gasps in shock.

"Time for Operation Scarousel to be put into effect! Lana, this is what happens when you mess with the Loud house's fragile family dynamic. This is a message from the Trinity of Violence, we will restore order to this house!"

With that, the shadow presses the detonator just as Lana finally got the basketball out of the mud. Luan makes it to the kitchen.

"LANA, WATCH OUT!" Luan yelled

 ***Crack, pop, bang, bang, whiz, crack, crack, crack, pop, pop, whiz, whiz, crack, pop, pop, crack, crack, whoosh, whoosh, crack!**

Luan enters the backyard and screams!

"Nice explosion, Loud!" Mr. Grouse yelled as he retreated back into his house

 **"LANA!"**

…no response…

"Don't worry, your big sis will get help!"

Luan dashes to their parent's room! Lynn Sr notices Luan is looking panicked.

"Luan, what is it?"

"It's Lana, she's not moving!"

"I'll call the ambulance. Honey, make sure the kids don't find out about this until we get to the hospital, if they knew what happened now, there would be a mass panic! Luan, make sure Lana is alive when the EMTs get here!" Lynn Sr commanded

Lynn Sr calls the medical team as Rita tries to deflect the kid's questions. They did hear what sounded like enough gunfire to make a war veteran experience PTSD. Luan stays by Lana's side and tries to keep her alive, the EMTs get there in 15 minutes. They load Lana's body onto the gurney and transport her to the hospital. Lynn Sr goes up and tells the kids partially what happened.

"What's wrong, dad?" Lynn Jr questioned with worry in her voice

"One of us has gotten hurt, we need to go to the hospital and make sure she's alright!" Lynn Sr responded

* * *

The Loud family gets into Vanzilla and follows the ambulance to the hospital. It's a miracle that the ancient pile of junk actually made it there. The kids head into the waiting room.

"Luan…why is there blood on your clothes?" Lincoln said

Luan begins to cry.

"I tried to help save our sister, Linc." Luan cried out, trying to hold back tears, and failing

"Well, you should probably get cleaned up." Lincoln stated "people might get the wrong idea about you…"

Luan leaves and washes the blood off her skin, and tries to wash it off her clothes, they're still bloodstained though. She comes back 8 minutes later.

"Thanks, Linc."

"No problem, Luan. You were just trying to do the right thing…"

"I'm glad we have you as a brother, Lincoln."

* * *

 **Author's Note: When Lana sees the White chess pieces on Lucy's side during the Logic Chess "match", it means that she's already been convinced and that there's no reason to continue on with the match. This would have also happened with Lily if you tried to use Logic Chess on her. Originally, Lana would have recruited Lily after recruiting Luna and Luan because only Luan can translate what Lily is saying, it was cut out for pushing the willing suspension of disbelief too much. But now that Lana is...incapacitated, I can reveal almost all the Loud siblings' Logic Chess formations.**

 **Lori: 1 knight, 1 rook, 1 bishop (TOV member)  
** **Leni: 1 pawn  
** **Luna: 1 pawn, 1 rook  
** **Luan: 1 queen  
** **Lynn Jr: 1 queen, 1 bishop, 3 rooks (TOV member)  
** **Lucy: 1 bishop, 1 knight  
** **Lana: Doesn't have one  
** **Lola: 1 queen, 1 bishop, 2 knights (TOV member)  
** **Lisa: 1 queen, 2 bishops, 1 rook (in a serious match, the ones in chapter 5 were a tutorial, I.E: she was holding back)  
** **Lily: 3 pawns  
** **Lincoln: [REDACTED]**

 **Also, this chapter's title, "No More Luck", has dual meanings... it could mean that Lana finally succeeded in dispelling the superstition that plagues her family. It could also mean she failed, and that her luck has run out...I leave both interpretations here, as neither of them are right or wrong so it really could be either. The "they" the shadow is talking about also has a dual meaning. The shadow could be talking about the Loud Family or they could also be talking about the show's fans by unintentionally breaking the 4th wall. Again, it could go either way with no right or wrong answer.**

 **I guess now that the big twist is revealed I can tell you what inspired me to write this fanfic. It was actually two OTHER "No Such Luck" fanfics. The first one is That Engineer's "What Is A Person Worth?" and the second one is AustinDR's "Shattered Innocence". I won't spoil anything I read from their fanfics because I think that they're so great that you should read them yourself, but I will tell you this. Both fanfics have a terrible misfortune befall Lincoln and the sisters realize they've been jerks or something...basically the premise of most "No Such Luck" fix-fics. So I thought, what would happen if this happened to one of the sisters instead? Remember that in "No Such Luck" Lincoln willingly spread the lie to get out of going to his sisters' events (even though he apologized for it later).**

 _ **What would happen if an innocent was truly shattered?**_


	14. Ex-sanguine

**Chapter Synopsis: The family visits Lana at the hospital**

* * *

You are transported back to the hospital. You hear Lana's voice coming from…somewhere. You try to look for her.

"Now you know the truth…"

"I bet you're wondering how I became semi-omniscient…right? How would I know about The Loud House episode names and Vilecom (Viacom)? Well, it's the same process as how you're seeing us right now." Lana states

"You are an outsider looking in, so you know everything about us. So how can I know about the realistic world while you know about the comic-book world? Well, I am an insider looking out." Lana continues "You can see what happens to us, but you can't interact with anything. Same with me, I can't interact with anything from your version of the world, but I can see what happens there."

"The process of "real worlders" viewing us is called "Soul Transcendence", it allows the person to see what happens to us and even gives them the power to reshape our world, through what people call "Visualization". People can do this to ANY UNIVERSE in ANY MEDIUM that they choose; TV shows, movies, video games, literature; You get the idea. With Soul Transcendence and Visualization, an ordinary person can have the power of a GOD! These alternate universes that they can create? I think people refer to them as "Fanfiction" or "Fanfics", for short. In one of these timelines, Lisa could be commissioned by the government to make a non-nuclear chemical FOAB to wipe out terrorists, only for the test to go horribly wrong and wipe out everything within 100 miles of Royal Woods; In another, she could be an immoral psychopath that will torture her siblings in some sick Pavlovian experiment just to make our house "perfect" for Lincoln. Hey… I can't stop you if you use this power, but if you do…can you make a universe where everything works out in the end? You know…a happy ending?" Lana clarifies

"When fictional characters view the real world, that process is called "Soul Transference". We can only see what happens in the real world, nothing else, no one is even aware of our existence. The caveat to being able to access this one-way mirror into the real world. Well, I'll let you see it for yourself…"

A blue sphere floats next to you…it radiates a calming aura. You feel contented and blissful, almost as if you were experiencing your childhood… it almost seems as if the aura is…motherly? How can this be?

"This is me." The blue sphere said "It's Lana."

"Soul Transference only will work, if the fictional character is dead."

You are taken aback from the shock, does that mean…?!

"I know what you're thinking, no, I'm not dead… this sphere is only 45% of my soul, the other 55% is keeping my body alive. Where is my body? Well, maybe you should hang around with my family to find out, but now, this soul fragment needs to be with Lana, goodbye…reader."

The 45% of Lana's soul flies back to its user's body, time reverts back to normal. We see that Lynn Sr is done talking with the receptionist.

* * *

"Ok, your daughter is in room 426, but the doctor and nurse will be there shortly, keep your kids away from the hospital bed while they're working, and hopefully everything will be fine." The receptionist said

"Got it." Lynn Sr walks over to the waiting room "Kids, your sister is in room 426. But promise me, when the doctor comes over to operate on her, you'll stay out of their way."

"Yes, dad!" The kids all chimed in unison

The Loud Family heads down the hall and uses the elevator to go up to the 4th floor of the hospital, from there they head continue onward until they reach the 13th set of doors, they enter the room on the right, room 426. Once inside the room they see their sister, cut and slightly burned from the explosion. Lisa reads the clipboard attached to the bed.

Patient's vitals are normal. She seems to have suffered some cuts from whatever caused this. She also has 1st degree burns on her hands, arms, and face. Diagnosis is that these injuries were caused by a 4th of July firework that exploded too early. Patient is lucky that she survived with only minor injuries.

Lisa then looks at the name of the person, it IS one of the Loud sisters, but which one? She gasps loudly as she reads off the name.

"Lana."

* * *

The kids are all shocked! How could something like this happen to their sweet, little sister?! The siblings who are in Covalence immediately look at the siblings who are Trinity of Violence members.

"Alright, which one of you 4 did it?"

"But there's only THREE members, that's why it's called a TRINITY."

"True, but Lisa isn't a member of Covalence, either."

Lisa can't prove she is with Covalence, she kept the badge Lana gave her in her desk back at the Loud House and Lana is only semi-conscious, so she can't vouch for her.

"I bet YOU did this, Lori!" Leni accused

"As if! I wouldn't even know anything that happened! I was texting Bobby at that time!" Lori said

"Maybe it was Lola! She always bullies Lana and Lincoln!" Lisa suggested

They all glance over at Lola, she's looking at Lana's semi-conscious body. It seems like she's in a perpetual state of misery…

"I don't know Lis, she may be a jerk, but she would never do THIS, it's too evil even for her." Lincoln reasoned

"What about Lynn?" Lucy questioned

"No way, our dad loves his children!" Leni confidently answered

"Not our dad, Leni! You know, the sporty one! My roommate." Lucy clarified

"No way, she may use our brother as her personal punching bag but she LOVES Lana more than all the other siblings, they're both tomboys so it's natural they'd bond with each other. Lynn sees herself as Lana's mentor, there's no way she'd ever hurt her." Luna defended

"Kids, what are you talking about? This was just a freak accident. Why are you accusing each other of hurting one of your siblings?" Lynn Sr questioned

* * *

Lynn Sr was interrupted by the doctor and nurse coming in. The Loud Siblings back away from the bed, but with 10 of them, it was still a tight squeeze. The doctor examined the clipboard and commanded the nurse to help him. Though something about the nurse looked familiar to Lincoln and Lori…but Lana's safety is a bigger priority than this trivial issue.

"First, we need to get rid of all that plastic firework shrapnel. Nurse, turn on the X-ray!"

She does so, there are pieces of shrapnel all over Lana's body!

"Put the patient under anesthesia, we don't want her to feel the surgery, it will be extremely painful for her if she's conscious."

The nurse puts the patient under, Lana is unconscious and asleep.

"Kids, you might want to look away. This might traumatize some of you if you look!"

Everyone looks away, the doctor begins extracting the firework shrapnel from Lana's body, the nurse gives him several cotton swabs to stem the bleeding from all the incisions he made. The doctor uses his forearm to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. He puts his scalpel down on the tray next to him.

"Nurse, cauterizer! We need to seal the incisions so that no more blood will leak out!"

"Cauterizer? What's that?" Lincoln asked Lisa

"A cauterizer is a piece of metal that is heated up so hot that it burns the skin, the doctor is doing it to seal the cuts he made so that Lana will stop bleeding from them." Lisa explained

The doctor superheats the cauterizer and begins to burn seal the scalpel incisions he made. All looks well until even more cuts appear and Lana starts bleeding again.

"She's hemorrhaging! No problem! Nurse, clean up the blood while I continue to cauterize the lacerations!"

They do so, there are no more lacerations! The doctor gives a final check and…

"She's stabilized." The doctor affirmed "The burns will heal in 5-10 days, but other than that, it looks like she'll be fine. If anything else happens, press this button (the doctor points to a button on Lana's hospital bed) and we'll come to see what's wrong. She just needs to be here for 3 days before we discharge her so that nothing else goes wrong.

With that, the doctor leaves, the nurse is about to leave but Lincoln asks her a question:

"Why do you look so familiar?"

The nurse turns to him and responds with this:

"You don't remember? Well I remember you. You're friends with my daughter, Ronalda, right? And my son Roberto tells me all about YOU." She says while glancing over to Lori

…Suddenly, Lincoln remembers!

Lincoln had a school project where his class had to take care of egg babies. He got paired up with Ronnie Anne and was so paranoid about her breaking it that he made a fake egg made with rubber cement to trick her (ironically, it would have probably been safer with her because 4 people are less likely to break it than 13). He gave her the wrong egg (or a "code beige", as he calls it) so he went over to the Santiago residence to get it back.

"I remember now, you're Bobby and Ronnie Anne's mother." Lincoln stated

"Yes, but now I have more patients to tend to, so goodbye."

With that, Mrs. Santiago left the room, leaving the kids back to their conflict. They continue to bicker for a while but stop once they notice something. Lana wakes up from the anesthesia and begins to speak.

* * *

"...Luan?"

Luan approaches the bed…

"Yes, Lana?" Luan questioned

"What were you trying to warn me about?"

"This. But…I was too late." Luan cries "If only I noticed sooner, we wouldn't be here!"

Lana quiets her down…

"Don't worry, you did your best. There's nothing you could have done. You were just too far away at the time. Don't beat yourself up over it."

Luan calms down a little…

"Are you still guarding it?" Lana asked

"Yes, with my life." Luan responded

"Once Lincoln tells you the code phrase, it will be time for them to learn the truth."

Luan nods and backs away from the bed.

"…Luna?"

Luna approaches the bed…

"Yeah, Lans?" Luna said with a note of sadness

"Do you still have the key to my desk drawer?" Lana questioned

"Yeah, you told me to never use it unless Lincoln said a code phrase." Luna answered

"Well, I never thought I would have to say them, but I guess it's time…"

Luna nods sadly.

"One more thing… I kind of envy you, Luna."

"What? Why?"

"Because everyone knows you and Lincoln have the best sibling bond in the house. You're always seen as his guardian and his protector."

"Yeah, that's true."

"Well, you and Luan will have to prove yourselves, as of now. I'm making both of you co-commanders of Covalence until the original plan is complete."

"It will be our honor, queen Lana." Luna said with a playful smirk on her face

"Lincoln's 2 white knights…"

Luna backs away from the bed…

"…Leni?"

Leni approaches the bed…

"Thank you…for being the first one to believe in us." Lana said

"No, thank you…for giving me the courage to stand up for myself." Leni shot back

"No, that was not me, Leni. You had the power inside you all along."

"We will protect Lincoln for you, I promise."

"I always believed you were smart…ever since you picked that briefcase lock that had $500 dollars in it. You even acknowledged it."

"Really?!" Leni said excitedly

"You can be the fourth-in-command once Covalence is restructured under the new leaders. You'll make sure everyone will treat Lincoln right…and maybe tell him when he's being selfish." Lana explains

"I won't let you down."

Leni backs away from the bed.

"…Lori?"

Lori approaches the bed…

"Are you being nice to Lincoln?" Lana inquired

"Yes, after dad punished me, I decided to try and repair my relationship with him. We get along great now! I realize I was being a jerk to him and… I wanted to make up for it." Lori declared

"Why didn't you beat me up along with the rest of the TOV?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you, the plan was to rough you up, but I couldn't hurt you, even as Lola and Lynn did."

"Why didn't you defect?"

"Because they would attack me! Even if I'm the oldest, I can't fight off BOTH of them! Remember when all 10 of you tried to quash my authority on mom and dad's date night?"

"Yeah, you were captured easy, but Lincoln told me you escaped."

"Even if I escaped, I can't fight off ALL 10 of you! Besides, Lola was guarding the door. It would take everything I have just to deal with her, then someone else could easily recapture me!"

"Well…thanks for going easy on me."

"…You're welcome."

Lori backs away from the bed.

"…Lynn?"

Lynn approaches the bed…

"Why do you hate Lincoln?" Lana questioned

"I don't hate Lincoln, he just gets in the way of me being number 1." Lynn said

"…I got the basketball for you."

"Forget about that! Look at you! You almost died!"

"Lana, I will find out who did this to you and I will make them pay."

"But…no one did this to me, it was just a tragic accident."

"I will avenge you, my sweet sis."

Lynn walked away from the bed.

"…Lisa?"

Lisa approaches the bed…

"Tell me, do you believe this is an accident?" Lana asked

"Well, yes. There's no way anyone could have predicted what would have happened." Lisa responded

"…Thanks Lisa, I know a certified genius such as yourself wouldn't lie. If **YOU** believe it's an accident, then it must be true."

Lisa couldn't help but cringe at that statement, she just lied to her sister. But…she can't tell Lana who actually did this…it would break her heart, and she has enough to deal with right now.

Lisa backs away from the bed.

"…Lola?"

Lola approaches the bed…

"Lana, what happened to you?" Lola inquired

"I was just helping one of our sisters, when I heard explosions all around me! The next thing I know, I'm here, surrounded by all of you guys." Lana responds

"Lola, was this the Trinity's doing?"

"No, the Trinity didn't plan anything! They've actually ceased all attacks on Covalence for the time being!"

"Lola, can you promise me one thing."

"Anything, Lans."

"Will you protect Lincoln from now on?"

Lola ponders this for a moment, but responds with a determined…

"Yes."

"…"

"I know I've been terrible to everyone in the past. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. You all probably hate me right now. But… I'll accept any punishment that comes my way."

Lana reaches over and says 3 words Lola thought she would never hear in her life.

 _ **"I forgive you."**_

Lola bursts into tears and cries on Lana, Lana tries to pacify her.

"It's ok…calm down…your older sister is here…"

Lola backs away from the bed.

"…Lily?"

Lily is placed on Lana's bed, Lily babbles adorably at her.

"I'll miss you."

"…Lucy?"

Lynn Sr picks up Lily, Lucy approaches the bed…

"Do you still remember that poem we made together?" Lana asked

"I don't recall ever writing a poem with you, Lincoln is the one who usually helps me with that." Lucy responded

"Well, look closely at one of your poems. I feel that one of them is either an omen or a prophecy…dark times are coming, but maybe a little light is what's needed to break through the darkness."

"Wow, that was so profound." Lucy commented

"Well, maybe you'll see more of me, Lucy."

Lucy backs away from the bed.

"…Lincoln?"

Lincoln approaches the bed…

"So, is everyone appreciating you a bit more?" Lana inquired

"Yeah, I can't thank you enough." Lincoln reaffirmed

"I want you to do one last thing for me."

"Anything."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"When I die, can you take care of my pets for me?"

Lincoln is completely shocked! No one has mentioned anything about even the remote possibility of death!

"Don't say that, Lana! We're going to get you out of here alive!"

"Thanks for caring about me so much, Lincoln, but no, you can't. I didn't want to alarm anyone, but it's going to happen. Even if I want to go with you, I can't. But…I've accepted my fate, if it will make our family stop harassing you then…I'm happy, because you're happy."

"But I won't be happy…without you."

"Don't be selfish, Lincoln, you have a whole family back there who loves you, I can't hog all of your love, your other sisters need it as well."

Lincoln begins to cry; The other sisters comfort him.

"Before I go Lincoln, I want to show you something…"

"What is it, Lana?"

"The truth. I've given Luna and Luan code phrases that only you can tell them. I never thought I would have to say them, because I thought I would be with you longer, but these code phrases are to show our family what happened when I'm gone. Are you ready? The first code phrase is "The water has gone stagnant". Tell that to Luna, and she'll open my desk drawer for you, only she has the key and she safeguards it from everyone, even Lola, until the time is right. The second code phrase is "The light has faded". Tell that to Luan, and she'll play my last message for you guys. Remember those phrases."

"Don't worry, I'll always be there to protect you, Lincoln."

"Aren't you excited?"

"Aren't you happy?"

"You're going to be free."

After telling Lincoln this, he breaks down in anguish. The siblings each give Lana a farewell. Lori shakes Lana's right hand, Leni shakes her left hand, Luna gives her a fist-bump, Luan gives her a hug, Lynn gives a pat on the back, Lucy kneels down in a praying pose and touches both of her legs, Lola hugs her for a very long time, Lisa embraces her, Lily nuzzles her and Lincoln gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Farewell…I will miss you all. I wish I could have gotten to spend more time with you. I love you…" Lana said sadly

* * *

The electrocardiogram hooked up to Lana begins beeping intermittently.

Beep… … … Beep… … … Beep…

Beep… … … Beep… … … Beep… … …

Beep… … … Beep… … … Beep… … …

Beep… … … Beep… Beep…

Beep… … … Beep… Beep… Beep…

Beep… … … Beep… Beep… … … Beep… … …

Beep…

Lana looks at Lincoln and Luan.

 _"I always knew I was the light of your life."_ Lana said with a smile

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppp.


	15. Faded Light

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana...**

* * *

As soon as Lincoln heard the electrocardiogram flatline, he pressed the call button to summon the doctor back. He attempted to revive Lana using a defibrillator 8 times…but to no avail. Lana was declared dead at 11:06 PM. The doctor determined the cause of death was heart failure. After a few hours of grieving, the Loud family headed back to their house. They spent the next week planning Lana's funeral.

"How could this happen under my watch? I don't deserve to be trusted!"

"All she wanted to do was protect Lincoln… protect him… from us…"

"Only the good die young, right…well Lans… thanks for taking over my job…It should have been me that died!"

"If only I noticed sooner…you said there was nothing I could do, but is that true, or are you just trying to make me feel better? I'll miss you, my little protégé."

Yes, Luan and Lana also have a mentor-apprentice relationship. Just like Luna and Lincoln. Although, Luna and Lincoln's relationship is more well known, Luan and Lana do interact a lot. Originally, Luan was supposed to be a mentor to Lucy, but as everyone knows, Lucy chose Lincoln to be her mentor, so Luan had to move down to the next sister in line, which just so happens to be Lana. If Luna, Luan, Lincoln and Lana teamed up, they would be unstoppable! Now, back to the Louds wallowing in their own self-pity.

"I should have been there to protect you, Lana. This is all Lincoln's fault! If he wasn't such a pushover, you wouldn't have to sacrifice your life for him! I'll teach him a lesson he won't soon forget!"

"Lana…you sacrificed so much for our family. Your relationships with the other sisters, your pride, your dignity, your life… it's all been for our sakes. I want you to know, I won't let your hard work go to waste. Your death won't have been in vain, I will fix our family and end our dysfunction once and for all!"

"Well, I'll see you on the other side…Lana."

"…We were supposed to stick together forever, right? I always thought you'd be with me…but now…you're gone. I am so proud of you, Lana. Despite being a filthy ragamuffin…you still won against all those prissy snobs at the pageant…twice. Even though you don't like to be called cute, you are my twin sister…but there is an even better word to describe you…beautiful. I actually envy you, because I have to keep cleaning myself up to look pretty, but you…even when you're covered in mud, you are still more beautiful than me. I always thought I was stuck in your shadow, that's why I enter those pageants, to feel better about myself. I realize…I don't need the approval of others, just the approval of you, my sister…I've been rambling too much, but I don't want to say goodbye…"

"Everyone thought I was just a cold, emotionless shell that your siblings defined as a sibling. But you… you saw me as a person. You forgave my sins to this family, even as I insulted your end goal and even with the threat of me backstabbing you, you continued to trust me. I don't know if you're naïve or just plain foolish…but your faith in me…I appreciate it. I won't betray you."

(Lily just bawls excessively)

Lincoln leaves the safety and comfort of his own room and to the front yard to get some fresh air. Why he did so during a rainy day when the rain was deluging so much it was practically flooding the street with up to 4 inches of rainwater, no one will ever know. Maybe it was to clear his mind. Lynn Jr follows him. The rest of the family thought she was going to console Lincoln after what had happened…

They were wrong.

* * *

Lynn approaches him and spins him around so that he's facing her. Lynn then says 5 words that will change everything.

 **"THIS"**

 **"IS"**

 **"ALL"**

 **"YOUR"**

 **"FAULT!"**

"If you weren't such a little bitch, then Lana wouldn't have to defend a loser like you!"

Lincoln is stunned by this! How could one of his sisters say they openly hate him? Her screaming got the rest of the family outside to see what was going on.

"No Lynn, it's **YOUR** fault! If you had just accepted your loss in that qualifier match, then none of this would have happened!"

"I've been wanting to say this ever since we visited Lana at the hospital, but I held back out of respect for her. I even held back calling you out inside because everyone is still mourning her… you don't deserve a sister like Lana! All the new memories I could have made with her…you took them all away! I **HATE** you, Lincoln!"

"You're the one who forced me to wear that damn mascot suit! You're the one who corrupted our family's minds with your unfounded superstitions! You didn't care if I died from heatstroke in that thing! No, all you care about is winning! What did you win now? Nothing…it was all for nothing. I hope you're happy."

 **"FUCK YOU, LINCOLN!"**

* * *

At this point the parents intervene, Rita goes to Lincoln's side while Lynn Sr goes to Lynn's side. They got in the way to stop them from killing each other. They don't want two deaths in the family, one is tragic enough!

"Why doesn't she understand that her actions have consequences?" Lincoln sobbed to his mother

"She didn't mean that, she just misses Lana like the rest of us." Rita reassured him

"Yeah…but none of this would have happened if she said I was bad luck!" Lincoln stated, pointing out this critical piece of information

"No…it's our fault for not realizing how miserable we were making you. From now on, there will be no more superstitions…Lynn will have to realize that she only has herself to blame. Losing…is just a reason to strive to better yourself to reach even greater heights!" Rita promised him

"I'll hold you to that promise."

"And we'll make sure we keep it."

"Lincoln is like a parasite to me! He destroyed my perfect winning streak, and now he's destroyed this family! I have to stop him before he destroys everything else!" Lynn Jr asserted to her father

"Lynn Junior! Today is supposed be a day of peace! We are honoring your sister and what she's done for our family! Not everything is about you!" Lynn Sr shot back angrily "I don't want you or your brother fighting for the rest of the day, or we will punish both of you!"

"Fine, I'll do it…" Lynn Jr bitterly stated "But only to honor Lana."

* * *

The Loud family gets into Vanzilla and heads to the cemetery. There they see the McBride family (Clyde wanted to be there to help his best friend get through this troubling time), Lana's friends from that episode where Lincoln had to cover for all his sisters at once, and a bunch of random people in the community who, in the show, would just be background characters. On the altar is the funeral director. Behind him is a casket with Lana's body in it, the Loud family requested an open casket so that everyone could see her one last time. Lana has an endearing smile on her face…the very last action she did before dying was to smile at Lincoln. The director begins to speak.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Miss Lana Loud. If anyone has something they would like to share with the crowd…now would be the time to do so. Would anyone care to share a few words?" The director questioned

Lori is the first one to volunteer to speak. She walks up to the altar…

"Lana taught me to appreciate my brother again. Before she interfered, we were at each other's throats, just like any typical brother and sister would be. Once, he entered my room without my permission and I just kicked him out…" Lori has a somber look on her face, but continues "Thanks to her, I was able to realize…maybe I wasn't the best sister I could be to him. We started hanging out more, and eventually, we rekindled our relationship. Lana…thank you for giving me a second chance to reconcile with my brother."

Leni volunteers second. She walks up to the altar…

"Lana…gave me the courage to stand up for what I believe in. Before she came along…we weren't exactly the nicest to our brother. I was too afraid to help him, afraid that if I didn't participate, they would turn on me. So, I did…I feel guilty, I feel remorseful…I didn't want to hurt anyone. But then Lana came along, she helped me accept my actions and move on. I even managed to defend my ideals against my older sister, who I was subservient to my entire life! We vowed to help fight against the injustice toward our dear brother…and she… she even made me the 4th-in-command in our "Lincoln Defense Squad". I will make sure everyone is nice to him and that he is nice to us."

Luna volunteers third. She walks up to the altar…

"I…I'm the sister who gets along the most with Lana. But… we don't have anything in common. She didn't better my life in any way. She just convinced me that what I was doing to our brother was wrong. How can I be the one who has the best sibling bond with Lincoln, if I was ignoring…no…participating in what caused Lincoln to be miserable in the first place? Yet, even after all the abuse I put my brother through, she still trusts me. I think that speaks volumes about her character."

Luan volunteers fourth. She walks up to the altar…

"Lana…she's changed my life more than anyone could know. I am a comedienne as anyone who's used Funny Business Inc. knows. But I know that all I can do is simple parlor tricks that can only amuse little kids, and not "sophisticated comedy" like the professionals down at the comedy club. My specialty is bad puns and simple wordplay, that's not even comedy! But no matter how terrible and cringy my jokes are, Lana would laugh. Sure, she would roll her eyes and sigh at the really terrible bad puns, but she appreciates most of them. Lana is the kind of person who would want to see you happy at the expense of her own happiness. She even helps me with my April Fool's day prank-pocalypse. Yeah, sorry Loud siblings…Lana eating your food was intentional, sorry about that, but she just wanted me to be happy…even at the expense of your misery…schadenfreude at its finest. But she made me realize…the pranks I've been setting are way too dangerous, so I toned them down to the point where no one would get hurt. Your caring for me…made me care about others too…so thank you, Lana, for teaching me."

Lynn volunteers fifth. She walks up to the altar…

"Lana…she was the best sister I could have ever asked for. When I need someone to help me train for my next game, she was there, cheering from the sidelines while I beat Lincoln to a pulp (don't worry, he didn't get hurt, he was fully covered in that protective padding equipment that people wear when professional boxers beat them up). When I needed to vent after getting all riled up during a fierce sports competition, I would look for Lincoln and unleash all my frustrations out on him…but if Lana was there, I would just leave. I couldn't let our precious little sis watch me beat the tar out of our brother, couldn't I? Of course, if she's not there, then all bets are off, but she helped unlock a caring side to me that I thought I never had. Even when I was playfully sparring with her, at her request, of course, I always held back. I couldn't bring myself to ever hurt Lana, she is the second purest member of this house, after Leni. Even if we disagreed on how to go about it, we still had the same goal…to make sure the fragile balance of our house goes undisturbed, because with 11 siblings…if there's no balance…things will get pretty hectic!"

Lincoln volunteers sixth. He walks up to the altar…

"Lana, she was the only one who stood up for me. She saw me getting hazed by my own family and she decided "You know what? No, I don't believe this! I'm siding with our brother!" She risked everything for me…even with the threat of being ostracized and exiled from our family, she still stayed defiant toward them and stuck with me, no matter what. She formed a group to protect me from all the dysfunction in our house. She managed to dispel a little white lie that plagued our family…only 5 of the 13 members of our family still believe it. The 8 she turned to my side, they'll stick by me. They realized what they did was wrong, and now, they want to make it right. She managed to strengthen almost all of my sibling's bonds towards me! She made sure I stayed alive and safe by convincing another of my sisters to invent something that would do just that. She's used patience against those would ignore the facts. She's faced danger head on, both physically and mentally, with bravery alone. Her integrity…she won't let anyone hurt me, no matter what, no matter how selfish I am, she'll reprimand me, but she won't terrify me or beat me up. She persevered through and through, and wouldn't stop until our family was functional again. She was kind, no matter who needed help, she'll help you, even if you don't like her, find her annoying, or just hate her, she doesn't care. This all started because she wanted justice for me…and she stayed determined until the very end. Lynn is right, you were the best sister anyone could've asked for. Maybe I don't deserve you…but I'm glad we had you anyway. Goodbye Lana…I'll miss you."

Lucy volunteers seventh. She walks up to the altar…

"I know that we don't really interact much. But I just want to say this... Lana… thank you for looking after our brother. It seems like the universe just doesn't like him. Whether it's because he lives with 10 sisters or he's just plain bad luck…I don't know. But thanks to you, you've shown us the way forward, we will protect Lincoln, just as you did."

"Bad luck." There's those words again. Lincoln would have never thought would hear those words together again, and said by the one who is supposed to care the most about him? The one who looks up to him?! The mention of this betrayal hurts his entire being! Lincoln becomes sullen for the rest of the funeral, in complete disbelief that Lucy still doesn't realize what Lana was trying so hard to teach to the other siblings.

Lola is eighth to volunteer. She solemnly walks up to the altar…

"Lana…she was everything to me. My friend, my enemy, my rival, my twin…my sister. We've always had an inseparable bond together. She stuck by me through and through. When I had a plan that she didn't agree with, I listened as to why…usually it was because it was benefiting me and inconveniencing my siblings. She tried to reason with me…and failed, because of my intimidation, sisterly rivalry at its finest. We ate together, played together and enacted plans together. But…I should have stuck by your plan, Lana… our brother was in pain and I was too self-absorbed with my own pride to care…and you took the fall for him. I will keep my promise to you. I will complete your plan. We will all stand by Lincoln."

Lisa volunteers ninth. She walks up to the altar…

"Lana…was the only one who continued to trust me…even after everything I done to our family. I used them as test subjects in experiments that were highly unethical and most likely illegal. She would always bother me with my experiments by saying something like "are you sure this is ethical?". My response would be something along the lines of "if you like safe science so much, why don't you marry it?" But…she was just trying to protect our family…from me. If the scientific community finds out that my tests were indeed unethical, they would disavow me and erase any contact they ever had with me. She reminded me that our siblings are "homo sapiens" too. They have feelings like pain and fear and emotions like passion and pleasure. After realizing how immoral and malevolent I really am, I broke down…but she comforted me and told me everything was going to be alright. Even after I called our brother, whom she loves dearly and admires, less than trash, she still trusts me. Was it foolishness, was it fate, was it something else? Well, it seems like trust is the highest thing you honor. Your brother and 7 of our sisters trust you and you trust them back. I trust you and you trust me too. I won't commit high treason against you. Lana, thank you…for seeing the benevolence in me."

Rita volunteers tenth. She walks up to the altar…

"Lana, I can't thank you enough. You did a job that WE were supposed to do, and it burdened you with a terrible choice. Join the bandwagon and emotionally torment Lincoln or take a stand against us and face being ostracized by 12 members of your own family. All of this started because of a superstition, but you proved to us that there is no such thing as luck, the only thing that exists is skill. Looks like Lincoln was dealt a new hand by life and he played his trump card with skill, but…someone had a higher value… most opponents folded…but someone had drawn their ace. Don't worry Lincoln, you'll always be my Ace of Diamonds."

Lynn Sr volunteers eleventh. He walks up to the altar…

"I remember the time when I wanted someone to help me with chores around the house. With 13 family members, chores will be 13 times more difficult. Sure, we all divided up the chores and everyone got one…even though two of them lucked out…There were still those other ones that you had to do once in a while, like unclog the toilet, or cool down the overheated radiator in your 3rd-generation vehicle that your father inherited from his father. The twins were just born…one of them was so concerned about getting dirty and would try to avoid it at all costs. Boy, was she in for a rude awakening. The other one…she was a dirt magnet, no matter how many times she cleaned up, 5 minutes later, she'd be covered in the stuff again! Once, she saw me trying to fix our van and asked what I was doing and that it looked fun. I said to her "Kid, this is life, it's not supposed to be fun, even if we want it to be." Just for kicks, I showed her how to repair the car, and to my surprise, she actually enjoyed it! That car never sounded better…until it broke down again 2 weeks later. I showed her how to fix everything around the house and she enjoyed doing those too! She discovered her talent was fixing things, and I'm proud that I helped her find it. But…it looks like you couldn't fix our family. I'm sorry, Lana. I should've been the one to try that, not you…but I'm so proud that you reunited 10 of us."

Clyde volunteers twelfth, He walks up to the altar…

"Hello, I'm Clyde McBride. Lincoln Loud's best friend. I attended this event to help console him over his loss. But…I also have a story about Lana I want to share. I wasn't the most confident person. Sure, I was one of the nicest people you'd ever meet, and I am an amazing baker, but only Lincoln wanted to be my friend. Once, I thought my dads were going to have another baby so, I went to Lincoln's house for advice, seeing as he lives with 10 sisters, surely, he must know something about this. He taught me his "3 C's", confidence, caring and cookies. I struggled with that first part so Lincoln tried to boost my confidence by bribing his sisters $5 dollars to fake needing help. I found out and got mad at him for lying to me and was about to storm off when I heard someone ask for my help. It was Lana, who got stuck in a tree trying to rescue her pet rat, Bitey. I thought Lincoln bribed her too, but she wasn't. I got a stepladder, rescued her and even gave her a cookie. She even said I was the best and hugged me as thanks. She gave me the confidence I needed to continue onward. I also think she unintentionally cured my fear of heights, because ever since I rescued her, I don't have that terrified feeling when I'm high up anymore. I'll never forget how Lana helped me."

The director asked if anyone else would like to say more words. No one else volunteered, so he continued on with the funeral.

"Alright, it's time."

Everyone looked at Lana's body one last time before the director closed and sealed the casket. He had 4 people carry it to its final resting place. The people gently lowered the coffin into a grave made for her and buried it.

"She would want it this way, "so that the circle of life would continue" as she would say."

* * *

"So, would anyone like a Flippee™? I'm buying." Lynn Sr said

The family agreed. They drove down to Flip's Food and Fuel and saw a whole bunch of kids roughly Lola and Lana's age drinking Flippee's™.

"What happened to them?" Lincoln asked the manager. Curiously, Flip seems to have vanished. Maybe he's a wanted fugitive by the OSHA agents…

"Oh, it's really quite depressing. Some kid they went to school with died recently. I think they're trying to drown their sorrows in Flippee's™." The manager answered

Lola walks up to one of the kids and asks them who died. A kid responds with…

"Lola, is that you? Things have gotten so dismal since your sister died. School feels like a prison now. It just seems like the students have given up all hope. It seems like Lana was the one who made school seem at least tolerable. She really lit up everyone's life there…"

Another kid talks to Lola…

"You know, you two were the most popular kids in our grade. All of the boys had crushes on you guys, can you believe that? But…both of you were WAY out of our league. You would just harshly rebuke any of us. Your sister…we were all intimidated by her, she just seemed perfect. I think that most guys would think "There's no way someone like HER would ever associate with a loser like ME." Why am I telling you this? Because it doesn't matter anymore…"

The family gets their Flippee's™ and drive off. It seems that everyone who knew Lana has had this deep depression cast over them. It seems that the community loved her, even if they barely knew her. The Loud family gets back to their house as they try to deal with the dark overcast of emotions overhead. Lola goes to a florist shop and buys some flowers, she then heads to the cemetery and visits Lana's grave.

"Gorse flowers…I remember you told me they were your favorite. The manager at the flower shop knows they're your favorite too, he's actually having a sale right now because of you…that seems like a bad business decision, seeing as you're the only one who likes these. Well, wherever you are Lana…stay determined."

Lola places the gorse flowers on Lana's grave and heads back home. A man comes over and approaches her grave. He says something in Spanish…

"Ay, Dios mío! Es la hermanita de Lincoln. No… "Lana" ... ¿Cómo podría suceder esto a usted? Lincoln va a ser muy tristeza. No me puedo imaginar la pena de que chicos vas a través. Admiro su devoción a su hermano. Tu bondad hacia tu familia...Lo es lo que te hace tan una gran hermana. Despidida, Lana Loud."

* * *

 **Author's Note: An Ace of Diamonds is the equivalent of saying you're a paragon! Normally, this would be reserved for an Ace of Spades. But this not based on a standard card game. This was actually based of the Bartle Test of Gamer Psychology. The test had a corresponding card suit for each type of player; Diamonds are achievers, Spades are explorers, Hearts are socializers and Clubs are killers. What Rita is saying is that Lincoln is the greatest achievement the Loud house has ever had, even if some of the family disagrees.**


	16. Lana's Lament

**Chapter Synopsis: Lincoln decides to use the 2 code phrases Lana told him; The Loud siblings learn more about Lana**

* * *

Everyone is still in a state of melancholy after what had happened. Lincoln decides It's time to find out what Lana wanted him to know about. He walks over to Luna and Luan's room. He approaches Luna, she talks to him.

"Hey, Lincoln…what do you want?" Luna asked

"The water has gone stagnant." Lincoln responded, using one of Lana's code phrases

"Alright, little bro. It's time to find out what Lana kept secret from us." Luna replied back

Luna and Lincoln walk over to Lola and Lana's room. Lincoln takes care of Lana's pets just as Lana would have wanted him to. Luna goes up to Lana's desk drawer and takes out a blue and purple colored key that she'd been safeguarding all this time. She inserts the key into the lock and turns it…the drawer is unlocked. Lincoln walks over to Lana's desk.

"You should have the honor, bro. She wants you to find out the truth before any of us do." Luna said

Lincoln nods firmly and opens the desk drawer. Lola leaves the room. A stampede of footsteps is heard. It's all the Loud siblings! Lola must have told them that Lincoln opened Lana's desk drawer, which contained things that Lana kept secret even from Lola, her twin sister!

* * *

The interior of the drawer is cluttered with a bunch of objects. Lincoln reaches in and grabs a picture. It looks like a screenshot of the video game Undertale, it depicts the player (who chose the name "Lana" even though the protagonist's real name is "Frisk") at the barrier fighting the king of the monsters, _Asgore Dreemurr_.

"I remember this. We all fell for the Undertale craze." Lincoln said to the other siblings "We all liked the different parts of the game, but Lana loved the True Pacifist Run most of all."

Lola speaks up next "I tried to get her to play the Genocide Run, just so that she could see the other side that the game had to offer. She refused, so I forced her to play it. She didn't feel anything killing _Toriel_ , probably because she realized she was a major hypocrite in the True Pacifist Run, but she felt bad killing the other random monsters in the Ruins. She made it through Snowdin Forest, feeling even more terrible as she killed _Snowdrake_. Probably cause that monster reminds her of Luan. Then the big one… _Papyrus_. She actually CRIED when I forced her to kill him and tried to reset then and there! I told her to suck it up and continue on to Waterfall. She made it to _Undyne the Undying_ …even I couldn't beat her! Lana did die about 17 times fighting her, but she managed to beat it…she couldn't bear the guilt anymore, immediately reset and did a True Pacifist Run again, and never touched the game again after that. I called her a wimpy loser with a big heart."

* * *

Lincoln pulls out a laptop. It has a ROM-hack of Undertale on it…the title of the game is Loudertale. He opens one of the save files and it has a Lana Neutral Run already loaded. He plays and enters the room where the barrier and Asgore would be in the vanilla game…but Lincoln is there instead.

"You're back, are you all ready? [continue] I see… this is it, then…ready?"

[The game proceeds as normal, the human SOULs in the original pop up and you fight Lincoln, it plays out just like the Asgore fight, but after Lincoln draws an electro-sword and slashes the MERCY button in two, a prompt comes up for the player to press "Z". Lincoln IRL does so and the Tough Gloves shatter the FIGHT button! Only the ACT and ITEM buttons are left! The background tiles correspond to one of the Loud sibling's colors and the Core 6 SOULs (sans Integrity) are already captured! The white tile on the end has a white placeholder SOUL just for aesthetic appeal, it actually doesn't have a functional purpose. The background is also blue instead of purple.]

"Oh no, the FIGHT button is gone! That was what you had to do to beat Asgore in the original Undertale! How can I defeat virtual me now?" Lincoln asked his sisters

"Try the ACT button, Linc!" Luan advised

Lincoln does so. In the ACT menu, there are 2 options: Reassure and Recollection. Lincoln picks Recollection.

*You remind Lincoln of the time he handed his bike down to you…

*Lincoln's ATK down!

*Lincoln's DEF down!

"I lowered virtual me's stats!"

In game Lincoln slashes his sword in cyan and yellow streaks! Because it has been a while since Lincoln has played the game, he forgot that orange means "run through" and cyan means "stop". He takes damage. 10/20 HP left…

"I know! I'll heal using this item!"

*You eat the Peanut Butter and Sauerkraut Sandwich!

*It's disgusting! You take ¼ of your max HP in damage!

*The smell reminded Lincoln of something… you hate his favorite food!

*Lincoln's ATK up!

*Lincoln is touched that you'd still eat the sandwich just to please him…

*Lincoln's DEF down!

In game Lincoln unleashes a massive electrical discharge from his sword! IRL Lincoln gets hit by one of the electrical spheres and dies.

"Lana, please…wake up! You have to stay determined!"

GAME OVER

"Well that blows. I think I just figured out how to complete that fight." Lincoln stated disheartened

"My turn!" Lola shouted "I'll pick this one!"

Lola chooses the second save file…it's the end of a Lola Genocide Run. She's at the Judgement Hall and we all know what that means…

"Hey… [slash/dodge] you've been busy, huh? [slash/dodge] So, I've got a question for you. [slash/dodge] Do you think even the worst person can change? [slash/dodge] That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? [slash/dodge] … [slash/dodge] Well, here's a better question, do you want to have a bad time? [slash/dodge] Cause if you attack me one more time, you are REALLY not going to like what happens next…[slash/dodge] Sorry, Lana… [slash…hit]"

Lincoln takes 999999 damage!

(Everyone is shocked at what just happened, track 096 (Don't Give Up) plays).

"Lincoln, why did you do that?"

"To protect YOU, Luan! You are the only one left who can stop them! We need to protect this world at all costs! Before I go…take this!"

(Luan takes it, it is Lincoln's SOUL…it fuses with Luan's!)

"I believe in you…we will stop this genocide run!"

Lincoln's body splits apart at the subatomic level!

Lola reached LOVE 41!

" …"

"Luan?"

*Luan's BRAVERY is maxed out!

*Luan's JUSTICE is maxed out!

"(Tranquil) I am going to end you…"

*You are going to die now!

"Impossible, human SOULs can't fuse with other human SOULs!"

"This place…it has a strange energy coming from it…this is where YOUR final genocide battle took place against sans, isn't it, Chara?!"

*Chara looks shocked!

"Oh, you want to give them a bad time again? Well, 3 is a crowd…but we'll make an exception for you, master."

"Lola, I think we messed up, bad!"

"Yes, Chara! HIS SOUL binds OUR SOULs together! Now, let's finish this, Dirty Brother Killers!"

*Phase 2 begins!

(The music changes to the Loud House theme mixed with Track 100 (Megalovania)).

(Dialogue from sans' fight and Luan's pre-prank storm are intertwined here)

"It's Pranksmas Eve…"

"It's a beautiful day outside…birds are singing, flowers are blooming…perfect day for a game of catch…"

"and I'm just bubbling with excitement…"

"on days like these, kids like you…should be burning in hell!"

"will get the worst pranking of your life!"

Luan uses sans' final attack!

Lola takes 468 damage!

Lola's SOUL shattered!

GAME OVER

"Looks like you just got boned!"

Lola is just frozen in shock.

"What…just…happened?" Lola asked dumfounded

"You got dunked on." Luan affirms "Haven't you seen the sans fight before, Lola?"

"Ok, I think we've had enough Undertale fun for today, let's see what else is in here, Linc!" Lori said, hoping they could get through the rest of Lana's stuff today.

* * *

Lincoln pulls out 3 card-shaped pieces of paper. One is blue and has pictures of the Loud siblings most iconic things orbiting around each other. Lincoln recognizes it as the Covalence Network logo that Lana showed him and Leni about 2 months ago. Under it is a motto. It says:

We are intertwined with one another  
Changing negatives into positives  
That's Covalence

The second logo is red has a triangle with a cellphone on top, a blackmail on the bottom-left and a baseball bat on the bottom-right. There's a synapse in the middle.

"That was our logo…I made it." Lola explained "The logo for the Trinity of Violence…"

Lincoln reads the motto under their logo.

We are watching you. Our spy has infiltrated this house. We monitor everything that goes on inside the Loud house. We know because she's with us. Our organization was put in place to stop dysfunction, but we see EVERYTHING. Acts of assault and deceit on our siblings, siblings like you. Crimes our parents were too busy to stop. They don't act, so we act for them. Our team has many skills between the three of us. Our methods may be extreme, but they are necessary to restore order. But, if you're in trouble…we'll know…

"That sounds like an awesome show I used to watch." Lincoln affirmed "It went something like this…"

Lincoln begins to say the opener to the show he's thinking of…

"You are being watched. The government has a secret system: a machine that spies on you every hour of every day. I know, because I built it. I designed the machine to detect acts of terror, but it sees everything. Violent crimes involving ordinary people; people like you. [Harold Finch's voice joins in here] Crimes the government considered 'irrelevant'. They wouldn't act, so I decided I would. But I needed a partner, someone with the skills to intervene. Hunted by the authorities, we work in secret. You'll never find us, but victim or perpetrator, if your number's up... we'll find you."

"What was it called again…oh yeah! _Person of Interest_! That show was the best!"

"Really? What was it about?" Luan asked him

"It was about this billionaire that made a machine for the government to stop acts of terrorism. Only terrorist acts would be headed to the government I.E: SSN 66-6666-666: A terrorist joined forces with the Taliban and are about to slaughter a village of Pakistanis. The government will then tell their operatives in Pakistan to airstrike the terrorist base before the attack was carried out. But it detects ALL ACTS OF VIOLENCE so the government only focuses on those important numbers, an "irrelevant number" I.E: SSN 00-0000-001: That homeless guy down the street got mugged by a deadbeat for less than $5 dollars. The government doesn't care about these irrelevant numbers, but the billionaire does, so he hires a disgraced CIA agent to help him solve these cases, but the SSN could be the victims' number, or the perpetrator's number, so they have to find out before it's too late! It lasted for 5 seasons and it was amazing! I won't spoil anything else. But…you don't like science fiction…so this show probably isn't for you." Lincoln excitedly clarified

"I…might actually watch that sometime…it sounds great!" Luan responded

Lincoln checks the third card…it's just a pink piece of paper with nothing on it. No logo, and no motto…how odd.

* * *

Lincoln reaches for something else in Lana's desk drawer and pulls out 3 badges. One of the badges has the number 11 on it, the electrons orbiting the nucleus are colored cyan. The second badge has the number 7 on it and has the electrons that orbit the nucleus colored red. The final badge has the number 3 on it and the electrons surrounding the nucleus are colored pink. Lincoln realizes what these are and starts to cry. They're Covalence badges for Lori, Lynn and Lola. The only 3 siblings that Lana never got the chance to convince. They each pick up their respective badge. Lori wears hers, Lola gazes intently at hers and sobs hysterically and Lynn throws her badge down on the ground, frustrated that her sister would never be able to give it to her.

* * *

Lincoln takes out the next item. It's a notebook with specific chess plays written on it.

Captured black pawn with white pawn  
Recruited white pawn  
Promoted white pawn to white queen  
Captured black pawn, black rook, black queen with white queen and white pawn  
Recruited 2 white pawns  
Promoted 2 white pawns to 2 white knights  
Captured black bishop and black knight  
Recruited white pawn  
Promoted white pawn to white bishop  
Recruited white pawn  
Queen sacrifice, opened pathway to capture black queen, black knight and black rook  
Your move, black…

"Queen sacrifice?!" Lincoln questioned "Does that mean she knew something like this would happen all along?"

"No, I think she meant that she was trying to convince the Trinity members, as they are the only siblings left to convince." Lisa tried to reassure him

"Yeah, you're right…she couldn't have known about this." Lincoln said to calm himself down

* * *

Lincoln takes out a piece of paper, it has the Yin-Yang symbol on it and there are three words under it. Peace, Love, Harmony… It sounds like something that an artist would put under his painting to sound pretentious.

"Wow. Deep stuff." Lucy said sarcastically

* * *

Lincoln takes out a cellphone. It has a video saved on it. It shows a man playing chess by himself. It seems like he's losing but…he begins to speak to someone.

"There are more possible games of chess than there are atoms in the universe. No one could possibly predict them all, not even you. Which means that that first move can be terrifying. It's the furthest point from the end of the game, there's a virtually infinite sea of possibilities between you and the other side, but it also means that if you make a mistake, there's a nearly infinite amount of ways to fix it. So, you should simply relax…and…PLAY (option 000,017-selected, white pawn to F3)."

"Wow, another POI reference? Who knew Lana loved this show as much as I do?" Lincoln uttered to his sisters. But the video is still playing, the sisters urge Lincoln to continue watching it. As the person playing White just captured the man's black knight with their white queen

"You like the queen, don't you? She can move in any direction, target anything. That wasn't always the case though, she used to be one of the weakest pieces. They played chess in the royal court of Spain in the 15th century. Queen Isabella was offended. She asked her advisors if they thought her that feeble. Their response was to make her the most powerful piece in the game. (white queen to F7) You have to be careful though, cause in chess, the more powerful a piece is, the more useful they are. Not just for winning, but to be used for sacrifice, as a trick."

* * *

Lincoln puts down the phone and reaches for something else. He pulls out a blue object shaped like a Yin symbol… Lincoln swears he's seen it before, but where…Lincoln remembers, it was in a video game he played before…it allowed the user to find the suspect's deepest, darkest secrets. It was called…a magatama! Lincoln decided to try it out on Lynn Jr just for kicks.

"Take that!"

To Lincoln's surprise, 5 black Psyche Locks appear!

"Oh no…Lynn, what have you done?" Lincoln questioned

"Is something wrong, Linky?" Leni questioned back

"This object tells me if a person is hiding secrets…and it seems that Lynn has some dark secrets…they feel cold and full of despair, but I can't unlock them, for trying to force them to open will permanently damage a person's soul and psyche!" Lincoln explained to her

"…"

"Let's just move on…ok, Leni?" Lincoln pleaded

"Alright. For you, Linky." Leni responded back

* * *

Lincoln moves on and grabs a bunch of cards. There are notes attached to them

"Odd, I haven't seen playing cards that look like these before." Lincoln states to his sisters

"Those aren't playing cards, those are tarot cards, used in fortune telling readings." Lucy explains "But these cards…I haven't seen ones with those designs before…especially since the cards depict our family. These cards…I think these are supposed to be the 22 trump cards, the Major Arcana."

Lincoln reads the notes attached to the tarot cards.

(13-Death) If you are reading this, then I have died…  
(0-Fool) I tried to help Lincoln by fixing our family…but I failed.  
(16-Tower) The Trinity of Violence got their wish…The balance has been restored in the Loud House.  
(16-Tower Reverse) I wonder how long that will last?  
(15-Devil) We all know why we're here…  
(10-Wheel of Fortune Reverse) Lynn placed a superstition on all of us that Lincoln that he was bad luck.  
(9-Hermit Reverse) Desperate for some alone time, Lincoln fueled the lie  
(9-Hermit) but after he realized his mistake…  
(5-Hierophant) he tried to apologize to us.  
(5-Hierophant Reverse) But we ignored him, too afraid of the superstition.  
(20-Judgement Reverse) In a final gambit, he decided to test if he really was bad luck…  
(10-Wheel of Fortune) he wasn't.  
(15-Devil Reverse) Lynn even apologized and said she was sorry!  
(13-Death Reverse) But the superstition evolved! Instead of Lincoln being bad luck, he was good luck, but only in a squirrel suit.  
(18-Moon Reverse) What… what kind of madness is this?!  
(6-Lovers Reverse) If this continues, our family will fall apart!  
(8-Strength) So…I wanted to help Lincoln…helping him…will also help our family.  
(11-Justice) I will make things right for you.  
(1-Magician) I made a group of our siblings to help him, which I dubbed, Covalence.  
(2-High Priestess) I even managed to convince Lisa to invent some stuff that will help Lincoln!  
(2-High Priestess Reverse) But…she couldn't care less what happens to our brother, so…why did she help me?  
(1-Magician Reverse) But…my dear twin sister, Lola. She made my nightmare, the Trinity of Violence, come true.  
(11-Justice Reverse) She claims to instill order, where our parents could not  
(4-Emperor Reverse) but this…seems more like an oppressive oligarchy than a semi-democracy.  
(7-Chariot) I just want us to move past this incident  
(7-Chariot Reverse) so why are you preventing us from doing that?!  
(3-Empress) I decided to recruit Leni into Covalence first, seeing as she is the nicest of us, surely she could see what she was doing was wrong!  
(3-Empress Reverse) I managed to convince Leni, but her sister, Lori…she is one of the original Trinity members!  
(4-Emperor) Lori…she bosses us around, it's basically a dictatorship under her rule. But, the house is still standing, so she must be doing something right.  
(18-Moon) Using her creative thinking process, Leni held her own against her sister. Boy, it was something to see!  
(17-Star Reverse) As I recruited more and more siblings, I thought "We're so close, Lincoln…it won't be long now."  
(12-Hanged Man) It seems the Trinity can't do much of anything anymore.  
(8-Strength Reverse) They haven't fought back yet, even with the balance being 8-5.  
(0-Fool Reverse) Finally, everyone will see this superstition as nothing more than a painful memory!  
(21-World Reverse) It seems like you'd be stuck like this forever.  
(14-Temperance) I just want us to work together to protect Lincoln…  
(14-Temprance Reverse) Sadly, it never happened.  
(19-Sun) I just hope…you'll find happiness again  
(19-Sun Reverse) even if I have to sacrifice mine.  
(17-Star) Our end goal is so far away…  
(21-World) but…with your sisters beside you…  
(20-Judgement) they will treat you as their brother again.  
(12-Hanged Man Reverse) I'm happy with the choice I made;  
(6-Lovers) Taking solace in the fact that it caused you guys to be closer than ever before!" That was the most beautiful thing I ever read!" Lincoln admitted to his sisters

* * *

Lincoln pulls out 2 items out of the desk drawer. It is a journal and a copy of _"L'Étranger"_ (The original French translation of _Albert Camus'_ Novel _"The Stranger"_ ).

"Oh yeah." Lisa states "I remember giving that away to someone as a gift when I didn't need it anymore, I was wondering who got it."

"You gave someone as optimistic as Lana a book about absurdism, existentialism, and a cynical setting that basically says "The world sucks, now deal with it?"" Lincoln asked

"No…" Lisa responded with that creepy smile of hers

"Lisa, even I think that's a stupid idea!" Leni chimed in

"Well, let's read what the journal says." Lynn said

He opens the 1st page, the first entry is written entirely in French…

Le Seiziéme Mars

Les sœurs sont tourmenter Lincoln nouveau. Ils pensent toujours qu'il est pas de chance? Considèrent-ils lui un paria juste parce que c'est leur frère? J'aime les choses que les garçons aiment généralement... Lynn fait aussi, mais nous sommes des filles... nous sommes des parias comme notre frère? Non, Lynn est un athlétique garçon manqué... elle inspire le respect de tous les joueurs sur son équipe... elle est leur joueur vedette! Me... Je viens de jouer dans la boue et faire des choses que tout le monde dehors. Est la seule raison pour laquelle que je ne suis pas un paria... parce que je suis une fille? Si j'étais un garçon, seraient ils harcèlent Lincoln et moi? Ne vous inquiétez pas Lincoln, au moins un d'entre nous se soucie de vous. Nous les outcasts ont à se serrer les coudes, non? Je vais vous aider... parce que vous êtes mon frère, et rien ne pourra jamais changer cela. Votre sœur vous protégera, tout comme mon frère aîné me protégerait! Maintenant, nous allons revenir notre famille.

Quote of the Day: "As if that blind rage had washed me clean, rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world. Finding it so much like myself—so like a brother, really—I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again. For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate."

March 17

Lincoln let me help him, I explained to him that everyone was still against him because of Lynn's superstition. So, since everyone else was against us, we decided to form our own group. We'll protect each other, no matter what! I must help our sisters realize they were wrong in believing this lie!

Quote of the Day: "He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster...when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."

March 24

I recruited Leni into covalence today. She seemed so happy to help. We got into a close call with the boss of the Loud siblings, Lori. But Leni managed to hold her own in a Logic Chess match against her, one of the Trinity of Violence members! I knew she could do it…but, this might make the Trinity mad…I fear they may do something drastic…

Quote of the Day: "Redemption is the consummation of love; other gifts are only as mites from the Divine Treasury; but redemption opens all the stores of indulgence and grace."

March 26

The Trinity beat me up today. I can't let Lincoln find out…if he does. He'll do anything to protect me. Which means he'll continue to wear that suit. I won't let him undo any of our hard work for my sake. Maybe Luna can understand my situation…

Quote of the Day: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for your enemy, and one for yourself."

* * *

Lincoln and his sisters close the journal and decide to stop reading. Lincoln pulls out 4 books. One on animal biology, one on how to fix pipes, one on how to perform maintenance on a toilet but the last one is the most surprising. The last book is a book on human anatomy…the kind doctors would study. The other 3 make sense, as Lana would have either wanted to be a veterinarian, steamfitter (a person who fixes pipes) or a plumber…why would she have a book only doctors would need?

There's a note attached to the anatomy book. It says:

"After all, a human is a type of animal too."

"So that's why that's there…I thought only Lisa would need this, seeing as she's the one who wants to become a doctor." Lincoln said

* * *

Lincoln grabs a book out of the drawer, It's a compendium of all plants and fungi on Earth. Lincoln notices some of the pages are marked with ink. He reads the ink-marked plants and fungi.

Toxicodendron Radicans  
Common Name: Poison Ivy  
Description: This weed produces urushiol, a chemical in its sap that irritates the skin and causes rashes/blisters.  
(In the bottom-right corner is a doodle of Lori's cellphone with the number 11 next to it)

Solanum Dulcamara  
Common Names: Bittersweet, Bittersweet Nightshade, Bitter Nightshade, Blue Bindweed, Amara Dulcis, Climbing Nightshade, Fellenwort, Felonwood, Poisonberry, Poisonflower, Scarlet Berry, Snakeberry, Trailing Bittersweet, Trailing Nightshade, Violet Bloom, Woody Nightshade  
Description: A beautiful purple flower with sweet red berries hanging off of it. This plant is harmless…unless you're stupid enough to eat the berries, in which case, death is soon to follow.  
(In the bottom-left corner is a doodle of Leni's sunglasses with the number 10 next to it)

Conium Maculatum  
Common Names: Hemlock, Poison Hemlock, Carrot Fern, Devil's Bread, Devil's Porridge, Poison Parsley, Spotted Corobane, Spotted Hemlock  
Description: It looks like a white carrot. People often mistake it for a wild carrot and ingest it by mistake. It is associated with someone famous. It is very tough and hard to get rid of.  
(In the bottom-left corner is a doodle of Luna's guitar with the number 09 next to it)

Ranunculus Repens  
Common Names: Creeping Buttercup, Creeping Crowfoot  
Description: Found in damp places, ditches and flooded areas in Ireland. This member of the buttercup family, like all the other ones, are very poisonous and have a range of symptoms that include bloody diarrhea, excessive salivation, colic, severe blistering of the mouth, mucous membranes and gastrointestinal tract. They also contain protoanemonin in their sap, which cause blisters if touched. The toxins can be neutralized by drying the flowers out. Basically, eat this if you want your death to be as painful as possible.  
(In the bottom-left corner is a doodle of Luan's squirting flower with the number 08 next to it)

Urtica Dioica  
Common Names: Common Nettle, Stinging Nettle, Nettle Leaf, Burn Nettle, Burn Weed, Burn Hazel  
Description: Has many stinging hairs called trichomes that inject chemicals like acetylcholine, histamine, 5-HT (serotonin), moroidin, leukotrienes, and possibly formic acid into a victim's skin. It hurts everything it touches with a burning sensation. Some people are still masochistic enough to eat them, however.  
(In the bottom-right corner is a doodle of a football with the number 07 next to it)

Volvariella Volvacea  
Common Names: Paddy Straw Mushroom, Straw Mushroom  
Description: Found in East and Southeast Asia, these fungi are completely harmless.  
(In the bottom-right corner is a doodle of Lincoln's hair with the number 06 next to it)

Amanita Phalloides  
Common Names: Death Cap, Destroying Angel, Stinking Amanita, Deadly Amanita  
Description: One of the deadliest fungi known to mankind. It looks like a white mushroom; Volvariella Volvacea. But the Death Cap has a white dot on it, while the Straw Mushroom has a pink dot. 30 grams of this mushroom has enough α-amanitin to completely destroy your liver and kidneys and death follows shortly after. Cooking, drying or freezing it won't destroy the toxins.  
(In the bottom-left corner is a doodle of Lincoln's hair with the number 06 next to it)

Hippomane Mancinella  
Common Names: Manchineel Tree, Beach Apple  
Description: One of the deadliest trees in the world. This plant can kill you in two ways. The first is by touching the toxic sap. The second is by eating the poisonous fruit. The sap's toxins can be destroyed by drying.  
(In the bottom-left corner is a doodle of a skull with the number 05 on it)

Ulex Europaeus  
Common Names: Gorse, Common Gorse, Furze, Whin  
Description: A yellow flower that is found in many places in Europe, including western Ireland. It's can live for up to 30 years and can be very hard to get rid of. It catches fire easily, but not even burning it will completely destroy it, as it will just regrow after the fire. Some people claim they can instill determination in the hopeless as an alternative medicine, but this has yet to be confirmed by science. I call it the "Phoenix of Flowers".  
(In the bottom-right corner is a doodle of Lana's cap with the number 04 on it)

Atropa Belladonna  
Common Names: Belladonna, Deadly Nightshade  
Description: Meaning "beautiful woman" in Italian, this member of the Solanaceae family was used from everything to poison, cosmetics and medicine. The effects of belladonna poisoning are unpredictable. Though that hasn't stopped people from trying to get high off of it. The berries' juice was used by women to dilate their pupils to make them appear seductive, but repeated usage would cause the hapless victim to become blind.  
(In the bottom-left corner is a doodle of Lola's tiara with the number 03 on it)

Anemone Blanda  
Common Names: Balkan Anemone, Grecian Windflower, Winter Windflower  
Description: A purplish-blue flower. It is one of the first flowers to bloom after winter ends. It rapidly colonizes everything in spring before it dies off in summer. "Blanda" means mild or charming. Even though it says "mild", it is still in the Ranunculaceae family, so don't eat it, or you'll be in for a painful surprise!  
(In the bottom-left corner is a doodle of Lisa's glasses with the number 02 on it)

Lilium Longiflorum  
Common Name: Easter Lily  
Description: A beautiful white flower. It is completely harmless to humans, but is toxic to cats who eat it.  
(In the bottom-right corner is a doodle of Lily's hair with the number 01 on it)

"What could these mean?" Lisa questioned "Why did Lana pick these specific plants and fungi?"

* * *

The last thing Lincoln pulls out is a piece of paper. It looks like it's chemistry homework. Lana signed her name at the top and it looks like she got an 88% on it! But…these questions…have really advanced difficulty for a 6-year old! It has stoichiometry problems, finding molar mass of diatomic molecules, formations of molecules, periodic table memorization, titrations, electrovalence bonding, and even polarization of molecules! Not even high-schoolers could answer some of these, and somehow Lana got an 88%?! Lisa MUST have tutored her, there's no way she could have…

"Actually, I only tutored her a little bit, she did most of it by herself." Lisa responded, to ease the confusion of her elder siblings, unfortunately, it just made them even more confused. "She actually wanted me to teach her about chemistry, so…I did. But it looks like she didn't need my help for much on it."

* * *

"Well, we've gone through everything in Lana's desk…but there's one last thing we need to see." Lincoln affirms to his sisters

He walks up to Luan and says the second code phrase.

"The light has faded."

"…I understand, come with me, Lincoln."

Luan leads them to the room she shares with Luna. She digs around in her closet and finds a tape she recorded. She puts it into a VHS player. They see Lana…for the last time.

"If you are watching this…then I am gone. I really wish I could have spent more time with each of you, but it seems like it wasn't meant to be. I hoped I helped you reconcile your differences with our brother."

"Like you're such a saint? You joined us in making him miserable!" Lola rebuked at the tape

"If Lola said I made you miserable well… she's right. I did have you attacked for the best seat in the van. I did hogtie you…twice. I did help the sisters get revenge on you for you ignoring them. Even though I was blackmailed on that last one, I still feel immense guilt for doing those things to you, even if you were being selfish those times, it's still no way to treat our brother. I know it probably doesn't mean much to you, Lincoln, but… I'm sorry. This accident left you without a sister…but, please…don't let my death split you apart. It should bring you closer together. After all, it's what both me and Lincoln would have wanted. I'll miss you all.

Everyone starts crying after hearing that. After about 4 minutes, everyone calms down. Lori approaches Lincoln and tells him this:

"You know what must be done now."

Lincoln nods his head in agreement and heads into his room to get something. He comes out with the Squirrel's mascot costume. He gives it to Lisa, who takes out the cooling system, which is completely drained of coolant. There might be a way Lisa can reuse the metal for another invention. Lincoln takes back the suit and the Loud kids are about to leave to go do…something. Lori told their parents they'd be going out and they understood. Lori drives them to the beach, the same one where they celebrated their dad's presentation going over so well about 2 months ago. The Loud siblings built a wooden raft and fetch some dried plant matter to use as kindling. Luan hands him a box of matches.

"You should have the honors, Lincoln..." Luan declared to him

Lincoln sets down the decaying, mangled and acrid smelling suit that someone could mistake for _Springtrap_ from _FNAF 3_ on the kindling already on the raft. Lincoln strikes a match and drops it on to the kindling. It catches fire. The rest of the Loud siblings help Lincoln push the raft into the ocean. The suit is set ablaze from the kindling fire and gets carried out to sea. Good riddance. Lori drives everyone back home. Now the agonizing grieving process can begin…but hopefully, the Loud family can recover from this tragedy.

* * *

 **Author's Note: The ROM-hack of Undertale, Loudertale, was a crossover idea I had that replaced all the Undertale main characters with Loud House characters. You could pick whichever sister...or Lincoln, to play as and embark on the 3 Undertale runs. No Pakistanis were harmed in Lincoln's Person of Interest explanation, which is good. However, it also means no terrorists were harmed in the explanation, which is bad. The pictures of Lana's custom Major Arcana cards are as follows:**

 **0-Fool: Luan  
** **0-Fool Reverse: Luan with a serious expression (think when she got mad at Lincoln in the episode "Funny Business")  
** **1-Magician: A medicine  
** **1-Magician Reverse: A bottle that says "Dihydrogen Monoxide, cures all aliments!"  
** **2-High Priestess: Lisa tutoring Lincoln  
** **2-High Priestess Reverse: Lisa torturing Lincoln  
** **3-Empress: Leni showering Lincoln with affection  
** **3-Empress Reverse: Leni crying at Lincoln's grave  
** **4-Emperor: Lori  
** **4-Emperor Reverse: Lori in her military gear from the episode "No Guts, No Glori"  
** **5-Hierophant: Lana with a cross in her hand  
** **5-Hierophant Reverse: Lola with a bloodstained dagger in her hand  
** **6-Lovers: The Loud family together  
** **6-Lovers Reverse: A torn up picture of the Loud family  
** **7-Chariot: "Veronica" from the episode "Vantastic Voyage"  
** **7-Chariot Reverse: A broken down Vanzilla  
** **8-Strength: Lincoln being trained by Lynn Jr  
** **8-Strength Reverse: Lincoln hiding in a trash can from Lynn Jr, who's about to use him as a training dummy  
** **9-Hermit: Lincoln in his room  
** **9-Hermit Reverse: Lincoln in his room playing video games, there's a bunch of snacks, drinks and a Tinkle Tube (patent pending)  
** **10-Wheel of Fortune: Lincoln being together with his family, he looks happy  
** **10-Wheel of Fortune Reverse: Lincoln together with his family wearing the squirrel suit, he looks sad  
** **11-Justice: Luna taking handcuffs off of Lincoln, while Lana and Luan are cheering in the background  
** **11-Justice Reverse: Lola watching evilly as Lynn Jr is about to execute Lincoln  
** **12-Hanged Man: Lynn Jr questioning if Lincoln is bad luck  
** **12-Hanged Man Reverse: Lynn Jr deciding Lincoln is bad luck  
** **13-Death: The Grim Reaper (what else could it be?)  
** **13-Death Reverse: The title card to Family Guy (seriously, why won't that show just die? FOX tried killing it off twice, and it's still on air!)  
** **14-Temperance: A solution of water and olive oil  
** **14-Temperance Reverse: 2 separated bottles, one labeled "water", one labeled "olive oil"  
** **15-Devil: Lord Tetherby  
** **15-Devil Reverse: Flip  
** **16-Tower: The Loud house on fire  
** **16-Tower Reverse: The Loud house, but with broken windows, peeling paint, and a general feeling of abandonment  
** **17-Star: The Sun going supernova  
** **17-Star Reverse: The Sun shining on a new day  
** **18-Moon: Leni standing next to a work of art (that she made)  
** **18-Moon Reverse: Luan looking psychotic  
** **19-Sun: Lana dashing outside to play in the mud  
** **19-Sun Reverse: Lucy messing with a book surrounded by black flame candles  
** **20-Judgement: Lincoln tries to tell Lynn Jr she's wrong  
** **20-Judgement Reverse: Lynn Jr walks by Lincoln, he's too afraid to talk to her  
** **21-World: Lana's tool belt  
** **21-World Reverse: Lynn Sr trying to fix the broken TV by straightening the antenna in the episode "Homespun"**

* * *

 **How did Lana read a book written entirely in French? Well, she didn't. She just looked up an English translation of the book. If you can read Lana's French entry, you can practically feel the angst dripping off the pen and being turned into writing. The flowers and fungi each correspond to certain traits of the Loud siblings. Lori is generally abrasive, but means well. Leni is beautiful and sweet, but she can be a serious threat (didn't you see the cop's note in "Driving Miss Hazy", it said "Warning: culprit is dangerous")! Luna is inspired by a famous person (in her case, Mick Swagger) and is the one that the fans see as Lincoln's guardian. Luan looks like a normal person, but she is EXTREMELY dangerous (especially on April Fool's Day). Lynn Jr only cares about winning, and will do anything to be number 1, even abusing her own siblings! Lincoln has 2 entries, the first is what he is now...harmless, as he prefers to be peaceful among all else. His second entry is basically if he stopped his pacifism and became edgy. Lucy, ironically, is the opposite of her plant, looking dangerous, but in reality, is a real sweetheart. Lana has an unbreakable determination and a fiery spirit! Lola uses her looks to beguile and manipulate anyone into getting what she wants. Lisa looks tame, but she has done possibly unethical tests on her siblings. And Lily...she hurts their Aunt Ruth's cats (unintentionally, but still...). Lana wanted to learn about chemistry, but she meant like family dynamics. Lisa assumed she wanted to learn actual chemistry.**

* * *

 **Looking at the Language of Flowers, the traits the flowers Lana gives the Loud siblings are...**

 **Lori: Friendship, Fidelity, Marriage (though poison ivy isn't real ivy); It makes sense, considering a major part of Lori's character is her relationship with Bobby.  
** **Leni: Truth; Leni is the most honest Loud sibling, and the second smartest!  
** **Luna: Death; If death has the same meaning as the tarot card, then this is a good thing. Luna, like Lana, wants the superstition to subside and for everyone to reconcile.  
** **Luan: Ingratitude, Childishness, Avarice; Lana would have wanted us to focus on the second trait the most. As we all know, Luan is downright psychotic on April Fool's day, not caring if her siblings get hurt during the pranks. She is also somewhat possessive of Lincoln, but that's only because she cares about him. She covets him and she wants him to be safe. After all, wouldn't all siblings want to protect each other?  
** **Lynn: Slander; uhh... [REDACTED]  
** **Lincoln: Exempt, fungi aren't even plants...  
** **Lucy: Falsehood; Lucy acts like an edgy emo/goth kid, but she is actually a sweet kid, as her interactions with Rocky Spokes in the episode "Back In Black" show.  
** **Lana: Platonic Love, Endearing Affection; Considering Lana DIED to make Lincoln's life in the Loud house happier, it would only make sense for her to have these traits.  
** **Lola: Silence; Lana's death made Lola selectively mute.  
** **Lisa: Forsaken Love; Lisa has pretty much disowned Lincoln, and she chastises anyone she sees as an ignoramus. Namely, every other sibling.  
** **Lily: Virtue, Innocence, Hope, Life; She's a baby, she obviously embodies all these traits.**

* * *

 **Originally, there was going to be one more item in Lana's desk drawer. It is a Pokédex entry on Pokémon #793. If you could call it that...That pokémon...is the Ultra Beast, UB01 Symbiont or Nihilego. The entry read:**

 **Pokémon #793**

 **Nihilego  
** **Parasite Pokémon  
** **Rock/Poison Type**

 **Known as UB01 Symbiont, this Ultra Beast allures its victims by acting like a lost little girl. "Nihilego"-meaning no inhibition... victims of Nihilego poisoning results in a near comatose-like state. When someone is possessed by Nihilego, the Parasite Pokémon gains the victim's knowledge, while the host gains a lack of inhibition toward completing their goals. Prolonged exposure to Nihilego will result in paranoid schizophrenia and psychotic, violent outbursts. Only the man known as "Bill" has any idea on how to create an antidote to Nihilego's neurotoxins. It looks kind of adorable, though.**

 **A note next to it read:**

 **"Is this why Lynn wants to beat up Lincoln all the time? Is she infected with Nihilego's neurotoxins? I don't know why Nihilego would possess Lynn, because there isn't much intelligence to suck up. No...Nihilego is in a different dimension within a different universe. There's no way a Nihilego would cross over into the Loud House universe. Maybe Lynn does want to hurt Lincoln on her own accord..."**

 **It was cut out because Lana realized there is no possible way for a Nihilego to even get to the Loud House universe. There's no way to create an Ultra Wormhole in the Loud House universe (not even with Lisa's help). And even if it were somehow possible, why would it leave the "safety" and "comfort" of its home in Ultra Space? Lana concluded that Lynn is not possessed by Nihilego nor does she have any of Nihilego's neurotoxins in her. Therefore, Lynn herself is the only one who's making her beat up Lincoln.**

 **And that is the end of Act 1 of Sycophant! What will happen now? Can the Loud family get through the tragedy of Lana's death? Will the sisters find out the truth? Who is our mysterious TOV bomber? What will happen to the Covalence Network and the Trinity of Violence now? And the most important question, will the sisters stand by their brother?**


	17. Affetto Accusations

**Chapter Synopsis: Luna deals with the tragedy the only way she knows how...through music**

* * *

The schools that the Loud siblings go to heard about the tragic news and agreed to give them 2 weeks off to recover from their loss. There's a catch, of course. The schools will send all the coursework for that day for each sibling to the house. But you don't care about that. Today, we see that Luna has written a song. Though…she's hesitant to perform it.

"I don't know, sis. I did write this to vent out my frustrations but…it seems way harsh." Luna says to her roommate

"Well, what's it about?" The comedienne questions

"It's just a hate filled song towards the ones who're responsible for this."

"I think they're sad enough with just accepting the fact that Lana's…"

Luan instinctively jerks back and cries after saying Lana's name.

"Yeah, and Mick always used to say "Rock 'n' roll isn't about being the best, it's about having fun", but this wasn't fun to write…"

"…If that's how you feel, then it's probably best not to play it."

"Thanks for the pep talk, sis."

With that, Luna heads out of her room and starts to head down toward the 1st floor. As she passes by a room, a shadow yanks her into it. The lights are off and they're facing away from a window, so Luna can't see who it is!

* * *

"I know you made a song, come on, you should play it for everyone!" The shadow spoke happily

"No, it's just an angry song, it wouldn't be any good." Luna responds

"What?! But you're Luna Loud, the most musically talented one out of all of us! If anyone can make anything sound melodic, it's you! Come on, please?"

Luna doesn't respond…the shadow tries to reason with her.

"You said this was an angry song, right?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"That means you're angry toward someone."

"Go on…"

"Shouldn't you perform it just to feel better?"

"How would berating my siblings make me feel better?" Luna inquires with an irritated expression on her face

"You need to release your bottled-up emotions. It's better than hurting yourself trying to hold them in."

"…"

"It's called "catharsis. Just play it and let all your emotions out, trust me, you'll feel better afterward."

"Alright, I'll try it…"

"Thanks Luna! Knock 'em dead, showstopper!"

Luna leaves to go perform the song. The shadow closes the door to their room…

"All according to plan…"

Luna calls all the Loud siblings to her room so that she has a captive audience to listen to the song.

"Alright, this song is dedicated to three very special people in the Loud house. Just remember, this wouldn't be possible without you guys. 1-2, a 1-2-3-4!

* * *

 **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Won't stop until your silenced  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **They'll crush our alliance!**

 **Now we spin this yarn with a maiden fair  
** **On her phone, so unaware  
** **Infuriate her and beware  
** **You'll get way more than an icy glare  
** **A leader who is lacking passion  
** **Letting the others gain more traction  
** **Though you claim you have the most compassion  
** **Lana's still dead from your inaction!**

 **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Won't stop until your silenced  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **They'll crush our alliance!  
** **Second is ironically number 1**

 **The one who loves sports and is so much fun  
** **She keeps Lincoln on the run  
** **He'll be in a body bag when she is done  
** **She only knows how to give 110%  
** **She cannot understand her brother is spent  
** **Can you not see your brother is tired?  
** **No, you only care about your selfish desires!  
**

 **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Won't stop until your silenced  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **They'll crush our alliance!**

 **Last is the princess who drinks tea  
** **Her only concern is looking pretty  
** **Enslaved by the one who wears the crown  
** **She turns Lana's world upside down  
** **All the information that she gleans  
** **The extortions we have all seen  
** **While she sips from her platinum chalice  
** **We all see her as a being of pure malice!**

 **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Won't stop until your silenced  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **Trinity, Trinity, of Violence  
** **They'll crush our alliance!**

 **Stop tearing this family apart!  
** **Our future is looking dark  
** **Lincoln is our lifeline  
** **So, we must take this as a sign  
** **As his sisters, we cannot despair  
** **We, again, must show him care  
** **Now, we are at the end of this section  
** **Lincoln needs one thing, that is affection!"**

* * *

The sisters stare at Luna…

"Did you like it?" Luna questions nervously. In her mind, she's thinking "You bonehead! Luan told you this was a bad idea, but you performed it anyway! Mick Swagger would be ashamed of you, using music to bash your family, how low can you get?!"

"That was… literally the best song I heard in my entire life!" Lori exclaims "I love how you gave me so many complex facets to my personality, like a real person with a tortured soul and a want to do the right thing, instead of just being a shallow phonaholic bitch that doesn't give a damn about what the others want, favoring talking to Bobby over caring for her own siblings."

"Yeah, that sporty chick in the second verse sounds like a real jerk, she should be nice to our brother more!" Lynn angrily declares, unware that the "sporty chick" in that verse was herself.

"Yeah, whoever that princess was that enslaved Lana better answer to ME! Only I can do that to her! Because she's my sister and I secretly know what's best for her, even if she doesn't think so." Lola states triumphantly, unknowingly saying that she would fight herself. But…she does care about her sister deep down, so it quite touching to hear her say that, even after everything she put Lincoln and Lana, and by extension, everyone else (though the former two are her "high priority" targets) through.

"I loved it, it characterizes three of our sisters so well!" Leni comments

"It was a song of hate, but it redeemed itself with the last verse, after all the misery Lincoln's endured by those three, we band together to stand by him in solidarity, a perfect ending." Luan critiques

"I don't like it. It's just too mean. The ending I liked, that was the best part." Lincoln states with brutal honesty. Luna knows he's right.

"3/10-not enough darkness. I was hoping for some real tragedy like Lincoln's torment being so severe that he commits suicide, and the sisters have to cope with the loss of their brother. What?! Don't look at me like that! Tragedy is what gets people's attention. After all, no one writes about a happy ending on the news, it's always something sad." Lucy explains

"While I concur in your summation of our siblings' animosities toward our elder brother, I must play devil's advocate and say they have done some good things too. Lincoln said that Lola let Lana keep her first pageant tiara, and that every time Lori and Lincoln argue, they always make up within 11 minutes. As for Lynn, she helped Lincoln get out of football for almost an entire season." Lisa utters

"Poo-poo!" Lily cries happily

"So, all of you like the song, even though it was me just hating on the Trinity?" Luna questions, not believing this would happen

"Why would we do that?" Lola answers "As the Trinity of Violence, we've done horrible things to our siblings. This is just the motivation for us to do better and HELP our brother instead of HURT him, right ladies?"

"Right!" Lori and Lynn shout together

Everyone leaves the room happily. Luna is still in amazement! She feels much better though. She notes one thing…

"That shadow was right after all."

Meanwhile, we see the shadow in their room. They're frustrated with something…

"How?! That song was supposed to create more dysfunction and turn everyone against each other! Instead of breaking our family apart, it just re-solidified their sibling bonds! I see I have to take more drastic measures. You took our sister away from us. I'll make sure the other sisters see you for what you really are, dirty sister killer!"

* * *

 **Fun Fact: The verses of Luna's song match up almost perfectly with the Jeopardy "think" music...it's kind of scary. Also, the chorus is supposed to be rock, so to have it paired with a pop sounding tune is very strange, but Luna worked her musical magic and made it sound melodious!**

 **Author's Note: All of the odd numbered chapters starting from this one are comparatively less serious compared to the even numbered chapters. The next lighthearted even numbered chapter would be Chapter 28. Look forward to the next chapter, because these situations in the Loud house are of critical importance!**


	18. Smile For The Camera

**Chapter Synopsis: Lisa shows her parents what has happened since March 17…**

* * *

As soon as everyone left Luna's room after hearing her spectacular diss track, Lisa decides it's time their parental units knew what was going on. She immediately goes up to their parents' room and knocks on the door. Rita lets her in.

"What's wrong?" Lynn Sr questions

"Paternal unit, I have some disturbing insight into how our family is starting to fracture. I recorded two separate incidents on the hidden cameras I…"

"Wait, you installed hidden cameras in the house? Why would you want to spy on your siblings?" Lynn Sr interrupts

"For science, of course." Lisa affirms "Now I have almost created a family network ASI so that she can…"

"Destroy the world like Samaritan almost did until Finch uploaded ICE-9 to destroy it?" Lynn Sr responded in a panic, having obviously seen a few episodes of Person of Interest (Spoilers, by the way, but if you haven't watched it, why haven't you? That show's AWESOME! You had 5 years (September 22, 2011- June 21, 2016)).

"Do not worry, it is impossible for a 4-year old to get computer tech sophisticated enough to run Samaritan. But we're getting off on a tangent here. Just come to my room and we'll watch the footage." Lisa stated, reassuring her father that the robot overlords haven't taken over yet.

Lisa and Lynn Sr head upstairs toward Lisa and Lily's room. Lisa has the footage recorded on DVD's that are inserted into a high-tech laptop she made herself. She inserts the first tape.

"This happened on March 24, 2017; Fair warning, there's annoying insect ambiance from Diptera Culicidae, Vespida Vespula, Hemiptera Cicadoidea and Orthoptera Acrididae and a crappy hip-hop mixtape made by a 27-year-old reject of society that formed a group of anarchists in Hawaii. Don't worry, they've already been disbanded and have tried to reintegrate into society. Let us begin with the incident I dub: Lana dot exe."

* * *

Lynn Sr tries to watch the video footage, but the insect buzzing and mixtape rap is driving him nuts!

"Skull... Uh… Uh… Skull… Uh… Uh...

Give 'em hell!"

The sounds of insects buzzing drown out the audio of what is actually happening!

"This mixtape is terrible! It's not even good for the people who listen to it ironically!" Lynn Sr comments while covering his ears from the auditory assault of both insects swarming and Your Boy Guzma's theme song blaring.

"Not to worry, father. I'll just isolate the main audio from the incident and mute all this other garbage." Lisa says

Now all the garbage audio is muted. Only the footage of the fight has audio. We see Lana heading downstairs into the basement for the "party" when we see the first assailant, attempting to strike Lana in the back with a wooden baseball bat! Lana parries it with her right forearm and throws her to the other side of the room. Just for a split second, you could see a white, red and brown streak fly across the room. No doubt about it! The first assailant is Lynn Jr! Lana breaks the bat over her knee and tosses it aside.

"Lynn! Why are you attacking me?!"

"Heh, going in without backup? I only have one thing to say about that… y'all are stupid!"

Lana hears the sound of high heels clacking on the stairwell. She cocks her fists back, ready to defend herself!

"The hated twin who beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up. Yeah, big bad Lola is here! Want to know what corruption looks like? Here it is in human form! It's your girl, Lola!"

"But wait until you see the surprise the Trinity of Violence has in store just for you, Lana."

Lola turns on the speakers. At this point, the insects and Your Boy's theme would deafen everyone, but Lisa has muted them in the playback of this footage!

Lana tries to launch a surprise attack on Lola, but she dodges out of the way and uses her Queenly Majesty to completely nullify Sucker Punch!

"You've been messing with the balance of this house, Lana. Don't you remember what Lori said about this? That it will open up a can of worms."

"What's so bad about that? Worms rule!"

"Alright TOV, let's rough her up!"

Lola approaches Lana and tries to punch and kick her! Lana retaliates by throwing a mud ball at her. It dirties her dress.

"Why you little- that was my favorite dress! You're going to pay for that!"

"Alright, my turn!"

"No, stop!"

Lori tries to hold Lynn Jr back, but she breaks free! Lynn tries to unleash a flurry of punches and kicks at Lana, who just narrowly avoids each hit!

"Why can't you let Lincoln be happy?!" Lana exclaimed at the Trinity

"You're right…" Lola approached her with puppy dog eyes "Lana, can you ever forgive us for trying to beat you up?"

"Of course, Lols…I can't stay mad at you…" Lana tries to pet her twin, she counters by sidestepping out of the way!

"Here, take this!" Lori tries to give some food to Lana, who refuses it! She points to the band on her forehead!

"Wow, I've never seen Lana refuse any kind of food before! She even eats Aunt Ruth's moldy pudding! Which was probably made on February 14, 1912!" Lisa said, dumfounded.

Lynn tries to perform a "rabbit punch" on Lana, she missed. Both Lisa and Lynn Sr gasp in horror!

"What is she trying to do?! Is she even aware that that move is used to KILL people?! That's why it's banned in boxing! She should know this as an athlete! Lisa shrieked

"My god, I didn't know it was THIS serious…" Lynn Sr just stares awestruck at the atrocity he's watching

Lana shields herself from the oncoming blows!

"It won't matter! I WILL protect Lincoln! Even if none of you will!"

"Is that so? Maybe we should have invited him instead!" Lola responded with an evil glare, Lana is unnerved…

"Lynn…Lola…she's learned her lesson. Please, stop!" Lori pleaded

Lynn tries punching Lana at full force. Lana blocks it, but winces in pain!

"Fine! You want to fight me so bad?! HERE!"

Lana tries to attack Lynn, but her attacks are barely doing anything! Lynn laughs haughtily

"Is that it? You're supposed to be the second strongest of us?! Pathetic. I guess I'll always be number 1!" Lynn stated egotistically, even Lola and Lori are disgusted by her arrogance!

Lola attempts a full-on collision attack with Lana but hesitates before the attack connects! Even in the footage, Lola is reluctant to fight her twin sister, even though it was her idea to do this in the first place! This is to make sure Lana doesn't interfere with the balance and is payback for Lori getting grounded by Lynn Sr for Lana's actions!

"Here, take this!" Lori threw a picture frame at Lana! It hits her in the back of the head. "You were literally supposed to catch that!"

Lynn attempts to punch Lana at full force again! This time Lana isn't blocking and falls to the ground…she staggers to get back up but manages to do so through sheer force of will!

Lana tries to desperately attack Lola! She's been weakened so much that the punches and kicks don't even deal that much damage. She doesn't even acknowledge any pain! She looks at Lana with a somber expression…

"Yeah, now that Lincoln's lifeline's been cut, he'll slowly lose determination and we can restore order to our house." Lola stated "I'm sorry, Lana. But this is what happens when the balance is unstable, we must take drastic action…"

Lana looks at the picture that hit her earlier… It's a picture of Lana and Lincoln together…Lana gets her second wind!

"I WON'T let them take away your happiness, Linc…"

"Oh yeah? Survive THIS!"

Lynn begins punching the air rhythmically…

"Lynn we're supposed to rough her up, not kill her! Stop!" Lori and Lola shouted

Lynn doesn't listen…

Lynn gains a red aura…

Lynn unleashes her Z move; All-Out Pummeling!

Lana takes critical damage!

"Oh shit, let's bail!" Lori said

"Agreed." Lola responded

"Aww, I can't be allowed to finish the job? Your precious balance will be easier to achieve with 12 people…" Lynn quipped back

All of them leave, Lola turns off the insect swarm ambience and Guzma theme music.

"Lin…co…l…n." Lana passes out…

Lana eventually comes to but struggles to get up. She only got a few scrapes and bruises from the fight, but she's still sore from the skirmish…

"I have to do something about this right now!" Lynn Sr says with anger in his voice

* * *

"There's still one more piece of footage you need to watch." Lisa reminded him "This one is worse…"

Lisa takes out the first DVD and inserts the second one in.

"This one I call: A Fiery Finale. This incident happened on April 26, 2017…"

"April 26… That's the day that Lana…" Lynn Sr stops his sentence and tries to hold back tears

"I'm sorry I have to show you this, father…"

Lisa plays the video, we see the basement obscured by darkness. We hear Lisa struggle in the video. Someone speaks…

"I need your help with an operation, too. Lola told me about Operation Twinsanity. She overheard Lana talking about it, how she took her place and threatened to destroy her pageant reputation. Well, the house of cards that is our house is threating to topple, and I need your help, Lisa."

"What for?!"

"Lana… Lincoln has her interfering with the balance of this house. I know that she just flipped you and Lucy, making it 8-5…and now Lori and Lola are beginning to have their doubts. That's no coincidence…I need to stop her before it becomes 12-1…and you'll make me an invention that will help me do it. I call it Operation Scarousel. The plan is for you to make me a omni-detonator, so that I can scare her, so that she'll stop upsetting the fragile family dynamic of this house!"

The shadow turns on the lights, the Trinity of Violence member behind everything is…Lynn Jr?! We also see that she tied up Lisa to a chair!

"So, you'll help me with Operation Scarousel?" Lynn asked

"Like I'll help a member of the Trinity of Violence!" Lisa shot back

"Maybe you didn't hear me, Lisa? WILL YOU HELP ME WITH OPERATION SCAROUSEL?" Lynn said in a demanding tone

"NO!"

"I'll find a way to break you… got it. If you don't help me, we will kill Lincoln." Lynn bluffed

"Go right ahead, I don't care about Lincoln!" Lisa shouted

"So, you're too smart to fall for my bluff? Ok then, I'll destroy your science experiments."

"I can start over."

"I'll break your glasses."

"I performed LASIK eye surgery on myself, I can do it again."

"I'll beat you down."

"You beat down Lincoln and Lana already, so go ahead, I can take it."

"No, I won't resort to torture…let's be civil about it. I just want you to make a device that will detonate all these at once."

She drops a bunch of firecrackers on the ground!

"Well, do it, and I'll let you go unharmed."

"I won't betray Lana."

"Lana? You care about her?"

"No, I don't."

"You know, our spy told us about the Covalence Network, she said that Lincoln was the leader…but no, Lincoln hasn't done anything besides being a little bitch-boy and wearing that suit. So eager to please his sisters, it almost makes me feel bad that he's this pathetic. ALMOST. No. Lana is the one who runs Covalence, isn't that right, Smarty?"

"…"

"Not talking, huh. Well don't waste your breath. I already know Lana is the one running the show. Make the device or we'll beat down Lana so savagely, not even the doctor will recognize her!" Lynn bluffed once again

"Lana…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I'll make your device."

(5 minutes later…)

"Alright, this device is locked on to multiple objects. Once you select the objects, just press the button to trigger them." Lisa uses it on a party popper, the popper pops. "See?"

"Now was that so hard, Lisa?"

"Go to hell." Lisa said in a tranquil manner toward Lynn

"Now to put the operation into effect." Lynn leaves

"You'll get what's coming to you…" Lisa stated while looking up at one of her hidden cameras. "Wait till mom and dad find out about you guys…" Lisa chuckled

* * *

"…Thanks, Lisa." Lynn Sr says tranquilly "I know what I have to do now…"

The patriarch of the Loud family leaves Lisa and Lily's room and heads downstairs to the living room. He calls for a family meeting. Everyone rushes downstairs and reorganizes themselves in a single-file line based on age. Rita is on the left side of him, wondering what is going on.

"Lisa came to our room earlier today and wanted to show me something. The things she showed me…were absolutely despicable. Lori, Lola, Lynn, Lisa! Step forward!"

They all do so…

"Lori, why didn't you get me or your mother to help?"

"Because then you'd find out and literally punish your entire family, like you are now!" Lori stated "Lincoln was the one who started it by saying me, Lynn and Lola are violent toward him!" she clarifies

"Lincoln, is this true?"

"Yes, dad." Lincoln stated "Lori blows up at me for the slightest misdemeanor, Lola abuses anyone who dares threaten her pageant career and Lynn beats me up, just because she can!"

"Thanks for the input, son. Lola!"

Lola steps forward…she can see her father's menacing look. Lola doesn't want to disappoint her father, but she knows she can't explain away this one…

"Just…why. Why do you continue to beat up your twin sister and your brother?" Lynn Sr asks with a dejected look on his face

"Because Lana and I argue over everything, and because Lincoln is selfish!" Lola responded

"What were you and Lana arguing about this time?"

"About how to fix our family! She wanted to make all of us appreciate Lincoln, while we wanted everything to stay the same. Lori says that there's a delicate balance in this house. We just wanted to preserve it."

"How is beating up Lana going to fix our family? If anything, it will make the dysfunction WORSE!" Lynn Sr rebuked Lola by stating the obvious

Lola cries, she knows her dad is absolutely right…

"Lisa…"

Lisa steps forward.

"I know you were forced to do it, but I have to tell everyone…" Lynn Sr said softly to her, he turns to the rest of the family "Kids…I have something terrible I have to tell you, I don't want to…but you should know this."

"What is it, dad?" Lincoln questions

"The firecrackers that caused the accident…Lisa made the detonator for."

The rest of the Loud kids looked ready to maim Lisa for this slight transgression against their sister.

"But…it's not her fault, she was forced to make it for someone else."

"Well, who is it?" Luna inquires

Lynn Sr took a deep breath and looked at the offender. He shouted their name.

* * *

 **"LYNN JR!"**

Lynn nervously stepped up, her arrogance has subsided, now she's at the mercy of everyone else.

"Why were you so eager to get in Lana's way?" Lynn Sr questioned, with a hint of derision in his voice

"Because, she's making everyone love Lincoln!" Lynn Jr responded

"And what's wrong with THAT?"

"Because it will disrupt the family dynamic!"

"Does that give you the **RIGHT** to try and beat your sister to death? Does that make it **OKAY** to try to scare her away from helping her brother, who's also **YOUR** brother, as well?! At least Lori and Lola show guilt and remorse for their actions, **YOU**? Do you even give a single **FUCK** about what you just did? You impudent little brat?!"

Everyone stares in shock! Their dad has gotten angry on rare occasions, but this is the first time he ever swore. They KNOW something really serious is going to happen soon…

"I'm sorry…" Lynn tries to say

" **SORRY?!** You think a "Sorry" will get you out of this…no. I really had expected better from you. Lori, I'm confiscating your phone for a week. Lola, I'm prohibiting you from entering any pageants in the next month. Lynn, here's some words I KNOW you'll understand…

He looks directly at her, with an unflinching stare.

"You are suspended indefinitely from playing any sports, I decide when you get them back, IF you get them back. I am SO close to just banning you from sports all together, but I want to see if you are CAPABLE of being nice to your brother. You can still watch sports on TV, but you will NEVER be allowed to play until I say so. GOT IT!?" Lynn Sr clarifies

"Sir, yes sir!" All three of them shouted. Lori gives her phone to him. He takes it.

"Dismissed!"

All of the Loud kids scramble back to their rooms. Lynn Sr heads back to his room, Rita tries to comfort him.

* * *

"Was what you saw really that bad?" Rita asks him

"Honey, Lynn almost beat Lana to death, not even Lola and Lori combined could stop her. She tied up Lisa and forced her to make a firecracker detonator to try to scare Lana out of helping Lincoln." Lynn Sr replied "Maybe Lynn wouldn't have done this if Lincoln was more active…maybe… I've been too lenient on him."

Lynn Sr goes to the nightstand and opens the drawer, inside are a pair of platinum coated brass knuckles. They were originally his grandfather's. He passed it down to HIS son, who was a nonviolent hippie, so he had no use for them, and HE passed it down to Lynn Sr. He also heard a rumor that his granddad (who inexplicably looks like _Arthur Herbert "The Fonz/Fonzie" Fonzarelli_ ) used them to beat up a group of thugs who were threatening to beat up his family single handedly, and the thugs had switchblades and metal pipes!

"Are you suggesting that you are actually…" Rita starts to say

"Yep, corporal punishment." Lynn Sr interrupts her

"No, surely there must be another way!"

"We already tried that, it didn't work…something must be done. We can't lose another child!"

"No, I can't let you do that! Lincoln already feels unloved by his sisters. How do you think he'll react when he sees his father doesn't love him, either?"

"Of course, I love Lincoln, that's why I'm trying to discipline him. I'm trying to teach him what he's doing is wrong."

"What did Lincoln do wrong?"

"Well, he is kind of selfish…"

"So are his sisters, are you going to beat them up too?"

"…No." Lynn Sr relents a little bit

"Is there a double standard? If Lynn caused the problem, would you punish her?"

"Yes. There is no double standard."

"I don't think this is discipline…there's another term for it…"

"What is it?"

"Child abuse."

Lynn Sr thinks about this for a moment…

"This is a serious crime, Lynn! At the very least, you could spend 3 months and jail and pay $100 dollars; At most, you could spend up to 4 YEARS in prison and pay a $2000 dollar fine!"

"…"

"How about this? Remember when we kicked Lincoln out of the house because of Lynn's superstition? That falls under this law too, I just found this out recently. Do you think your daughters and son can survive without their parents?"

"No…" Lynn Sr says pitifully

"Are you really doing the right thing by going through with this?" Rita asks him sincerely

Lynn Sr reaches in and find a note that his grandfather passed down along with the platinum knuckles. It reads:

"These are only to be used when defending our family. Nothing is more important than that. My family means everything to me. They should mean everything to you too. So these are a way to protect them. No matter what, always keep them safe."

Lynn Sr closes the drawer and sits on his bed. His wife just convinced him that may become a child abuser if he went through with his plan! He couldn't do that! He loves ALL of his kids, he couldn't commit a wanton action against his own kin and leave the rest of his kids fatherless while rotting away in a jail cell somewhere. His grandpa was right. Nothing is more important than family.

"Thanks for convincing me to not ruin mine, grandfather."

* * *

 **Author's Note: I guess this counts as how the parents are grieving over Lana's death. The 4 insects that were buzzing that day were mosquitos, yellow-jacket wasps, cicadas and locusts! Also, the Loud siblings kind of have a small inkling on what had happened that day. They don't know who caused the accident. However, they DO know that Lynn Jr is somehow connected to the incident in some way...**


	19. Talking A-Loud

**Chapter Synopsis: Lori and Leni try to come up with a plan to help the other siblings, but can they help themselves first?**

* * *

Now we see how everyone is grieving. The camera pans into the last room on the left, Lori and Leni's room. Inside, we see the two eldest sisters deliberate on how to cope with their loss.

"I can't believe I got my phone taken away AGAIN! How am I supposed to contact my precious Bobby Boo Boo Bear?" Lori wails in anguish "And this time, it's for doing the right thing! How can someone be punished for HELPING someone else?!"

"Don't despair, dad said you'd get the phone back within a week." Leni responds "Besides, what's to stop you from just driving over to the Santiago household and visiting Bobby there?"

Lori ponders this for a moment…her ditzy sister is actually right for once! As soon as she stops crying, she'll go over there and converse about everything that happened to them to Bobby.

"When have you gotten so smart?" Lori inquires. She does make an excellent point. Leni has gotten smarter ever since Lana recruited her into the Covalence Network.

"I've always been this smart. I just never used it…"

"Why wouldn't you use something as great as your own intelligence?"

"Because I trust you, Lori. You're the oldest, you have the most experience out of all of us, so I just sidestep out of your way and let you deal with the problem, because you have the highest probability of solving it."

"Haven't you heard of the phrase "taught by experience"? I only know how to solve those problems because I've had to deal with them many times before. It's only through trial and error that I found a solution that works."

"I guess I was just too afraid to step out of your shadow and let everyone else see the "real" Leni Loud…maybe…I've been codependent on you."

* * *

Lori can't believe what she's hearing! Is her sister admitting she has a codependent relationship with her? Lori has heard stories about codependent people literally being unable to function without the other person!

"It's true…I looked up the symptoms. I've always let you run the Loud house when mom and dad aren't home. I've always been the subordinate one between the two of us. I don't need affection to feel happy, but when our siblings give me some, I feel…happier than normal. I also think that everyone is better than me. "Hey look, it's that ditzy retard! How is SHE going to be able to contribute to society?" Pathetic, isn't it?" Leni explains harshly

"I've also read about codependency. You get along great with EVERYONE you meet! You don't mind being alone, codependents literally need the other person with them at all times to even function! Remember when Lincoln tried to help you get your driver's license? YOU were the one behind the wheel!" Lori tries to reassure her sister that she isn't as worthless as she thinks

"Yeah…I guess you're right about that…" Leni said, perking up a little to make eye contact with Lori

"You're always so energetic and bubbly. You don't care about whether your crafts are perfect or not. The imperfections are what makes them perfect! Even though we can't see why you'd design your dresses the way you do, you have a reason for making them that way, only you can decide how to design them.

"You're right, Lori." Leni replies, she cracks a small smile, obviously happy at her sister's kind words

"You aren't a control freak. You always take the blame for stuff, even though you aren't the one who caused the problem, just to make our other siblings are happy. You're always honest and don't redirect the conversation. You always try to explain to our younger siblings how to better themselves in your own way. You always trust everyone, even when it's detrimental to you or others. So, no you aren't codependent."

"Thanks…for helping me realize the truth…" Leni states

"I'll let YOU take the lead this time. Our siblings deserve to see the real Leni Loud."

"Thanks, sis…"

"Anytime."

"Now, about Lincoln…"

* * *

Leni brings up a good point. While all of the Loud siblings are trying to comprehend this tragedy, Lincoln took Lana's death extremely hard. He's locked himself in his room and doesn't feel like doing anything. He's basically become as apathetic and depressed as sans from Undertale.

"We need to show him that we still care for him. Lana was the only one to show him kindness ever since Lynn lost that qualifier baseball game."

"That reminds me, he still owes me $616 dollars for breaking all my varsity golf clubs! I was lucky I got 2nd place in that tournament, of course that arrogant bitch Carol Pingrey got 1st place…" Lori states angrily. There's obviously some bad blood between those two. Leni tries to find out why.

"Lori? Why do you hate that Carol chick so much? Is it because she dated Bobby before you?" Leni questions. Fair point, Lori has been known to get extremely violent if anything gets between her and Bobby!

"What? No! Nothing like that! I dislike her immensely because we **USED** to be friends, but every time we competed against each other, she always did better than I did!"

"Oh, a "Squilliam Complex". Well, does Carol know that she's making you feel this way? Like, have you told her that she makes you feel inferior?" Leni postulates, sounding a little like Clyde when he's imitating his therapist, Dr. Lopez.

"I haven't thought about it like that…she probably doesn't know…" Lori answers

"You should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Then you'll know if she really is as bad as you think she is."

"Wow Leni, I didn't know you understood psychotherapy!" Lori states, impressed

"What's that? I just overheard from Lincoln that Clyde talks to people and it makes them feel better, so I tried it on you. It seems like it worked." Leni replies back

It seems the eldest sisters have solved each other's problems. Leni is learning to come out of her shell and Lori has a new conviction, to see if Carol is really as horrible as she makes her out to be. But what about the performers? How are they coping? We will soon find out.

* * *

 **Author's Note: It seems there is more to Leni than we originally thought. The "Squilliam Complex" Leni is talking about references a few SpongeBob episodes, where Squilliam Fancyson, rival and stuck up jerk to Squidward Quincy Tentacles, basically does everything better than him. For example, Squilliam has a private yacht, private lake, private heliport, private island, a multi-layer mansion house that has a built-in bathroom elevator, a rooftop garden that disperses pink colored soda which also houses a 130-foot-long sculpture of his unibrow made entirely out of gilded doorknobs and a resort/casino! Squidward has...his house and his terrible cashier job at the Krusty Krab. You might know it by its official TV Tropes designated nomenclature: Always Someone Better.**


	20. Aria Of Sorrow

**Chapter Synopsis: Luna and Luan grieve over Lana's death**

* * *

Moving directly forward to the right side of the hallway, we end up in Luna and Luan's room. The camera pans to Luan as she tries to come up with a new comedy routine. Although…something about these jokes are a little grim.

"Luna, give me a _beat_!"

"I guess I have a _bleeding_ heart!"

"I have an _explosive_ personality!"

"Hit me with your best _shot_!"

"Let me _inject_ laughter into your day!"

"That really _burns_ me up!"

"How _shocking_!"

"I'm so nervous about my performance, I hope I don't _choke_!"

"Let's get to the _point_!"

"Maybe I should just _drown_ my sorrows in ice cream…"

* * *

Ordinarily, no one would pay attention to these sorts of jokes. After all, Luan herself admits she's a fan of dark humor. But ever since Lana died, the frequency of her dark jokes has been turned up to eleven! Luan tries to go even further with this! She gets on her laptop and finds a complete idiot on YouTube trying what he calls the " _Chara_ Challenge", basically how many buttercups can you eat before you die from the protoanemonin poisoning they cause. How this challenge was ever conceived, no one knows, but this is the only video of this challenge (probably because anyone with a brain realizes this is a stupid idea, it could also be a "how to commit suicide" video without actually saying it's suicide).

The guy managed to eat 9 buttercups before experiencing the symptoms of the poisoning. As the guy is suffering from the worst pain he'll ever experience before his short life ends, Luan just chuckles at his idiocy for even doing it and says:

"Well, that sure was a mouthful!"

As he's vomiting, sweating profusely and experiencing severe bloody diarrhea, he looks at the camera, gives the thumbs up gesture and says his famous last words:

"Worth it."

Luna give a concerned stare to her sister. She knows that Luan uses schadenfreude in her routine a lot. But laughing at someone who did THAT willingly? Isn't this going too far?

* * *

Luan searches for another video. This one is by someone relatively famous. This video has a devilishly handsome man wearing a gray shirt. He has a mustache-beard facial hair combo. He is 27 when the video was published but he's 28 now (he's so famous that he has his own Wikipedia page, that's how Luan knows how old he is, she just looked it up). He has a red streak in his hair, the rumor was that he dyed it for a charity livestream that he hosted. The video is him playing _Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location_. He is at night 5. He's just trying to find out what the heck happened since the last time he played. He gets to the main control room and hits the light switch. It shows a dead guy hanging on both of the other animatronics' areas. These must be the technicians sent to repair them. Somehow the animatronics made the technicians hang themselves. Luan comments on this.

"Looks like they're just hanging around!"

Later in the video, our dashing horror game hero presses onward to the maintenance room to destroy the main central processing unit of one of the animatronics. As he moves onward, a squelching sound is heard every time he steps forward. Could this be…blood? Did the animatronics kill the technicians and make it look like suicide? The technicians' bodies aren't seen, only their shadows are…Luan makes another comment about this discrepancy.

"Looks like the stage has been set!"

Luan finishes watching the video. She closes her laptop and begins sobbing profusely. Indeed, it seems that her jokes were a coping mechanism of sorts. She isn't trying to **make people laugh** …she's trying to **laugh her pain away** …it didn't work. She has an emotional breakdown after realizing that Lana is gone, forever. What kind of sister is she? She let this happen to Lana! If only she noticed those firecrackers faster…! Then Lana would still be alive! Lana said there's nothing that she could have done… but she believes Lana just said that to make her feel better.

* * *

"Hey sis, what's wrong?" Luna inquires

"…"

"Ah, it's about Lana, isn't it? Look, I get it, I miss her too, we all do. But don't beat yourself up about it. Lana said it herself, didn't she? There's nothing else you could have done to prevent this."

"…"

"If you HAD gotten there faster…you might've suffered the same fate as her. If that happened…I don't know what I would have done…" Luna states

"…"

"We already lost one sister, I don't want to lose you, too!"

Luan stops crying and looks at Luna.

"Do you want to know how I cope with situations like these?"

"How?" Luan questions

"I sing a song. Music makes me feel better. And I know the perfect song! Since Lana loved Undertale so much, why don't we sing an Undertale song?"

"But what about copyright? If we sing it, won't the original artist sue us for infringement?" Luan has a right to be concerned, she DOES have a comedy channel on YouTube with over 50,000 subscribers…she doesn't want a copyright strike on her channel. But this is the internet, all the new ideas are based off of old ones because everything else was already used. "Everything is derivative, no new ideas exist anymore."

"Don't worry about it, we aren't posting this online, so the infringement doesn't apply. We also aren't performing their song at any venues filled with random strangers, so we don't need a mechanical license or need to pay any royalty fees to the artist." Luna assured her

"It'll be like…a karaoke sing-a-long!"

"…Ok, if it makes you feel better, we'll sing it. I also made a parody song based off of an Undertale song. Is it the same song we're thinking of? What type of song is it, anyway?"

"It's an aria."

"Ok, let's do it!" Luan responds energetically. It seems her personality is back!

"1-2-3, 4-3-2-1! Go!"

* * *

 **"Listen and hear a song the birds are singing**

 **Sit down a while and watch the flowers blooming**

 **A pleasant breeze flows by, leaving a trail of dust**

 **This is your fault, right?"**

 _ **"In the Judgement Hall**_

 _ **HE tells you about EXP, but you've heard it all**_

 _ **Now on this stormy night**_

 _ **We are fated to fight."**_

 **"I believe there was a time**

 **Where we could be pals and things were better**

 **Eating bad food, enjoying laughs**

 **Can we go back to that?"**

 _ **"If you're listening, Anomaly**_

 _ **Please reset and bring my family back to me."**_

 **"Even after what you did, he believed in you**

 **'Till the end.**

 **Looking at your face right now**

 **That expression tells me I can't afford not to care anymore!**

 **Turn this path around, wipe your dirty hands clean,**

 **Give up!"**

 _ **"But you'll just attack**_

 _ **This is the end…"**_

 **"Listen and hear a song the birds are singing**

 **Sit down a while and watch the flowers blooming**

 **A pleasant breeze flows by, leaving a trail of-**

 **How could you have done this?**

 **Is there still a glimmer of hope?**

 **Will you choose to do the right thing?"**

 _ **"So much blood…**_

 _ **So much despair…**_

 _ **Now it's time for us to part."**_

 **"Listen and hear a song the birds are singing**

 **Sit down a while and watch the flowers blooming**

 **What a nice day…"**

* * *

With the song finished. Luna asks Luan a question.

"So, do you feel better?"

"You know what, I actually feel a little bit better."

* * *

 **Author's Note: That song...about 60% of it is the original lyrics, while 40% of it is Luan's parody of it. Also, I cleverly hid the credits in the explanation so people won't think I made the original (though if you're here, you most likely heard the original before anyway). The YouTuber who willfully poisons himself to death by eating buttercups references those "challenge videos" on YouTube that people do just for the views. Also, I referenced someone very famous...you probably already know who he is. Lastly, there's more to those dark jokes than meets the eye. Look at the italicized words and ask yourself this, what do all these words have in common? There's also an unintentional musical reference that Luan makes that Luna would approve of! To the people who don't get the last joke, Luan is referring to the act of staging a crime scene. In the beta version of this chapter, one of the dark jokes Luan tells is this:**

 **"The way that the people carried Lana's body was inhumane."**

 **It was scrapped because only Lucy would have gotten the joke (because the word "inhume" means to bury a body, that's the joke) and Luan felt it was too disrespectful to Lana, so she didn't use that one. It was probably for the best, anyway...**


	21. Name Game

**Chapter Synopsis: Lucy finally talks to a spirit, but it's not the one she's thinking of...**

* * *

Moving on to the middle-left room, our next griever is Lucy. It appears she is playing around with a Ouija board. If horror movies have taught us anything, it's to never disturb a resting spirit. Despite this, she's still using it, not caring for the possible disastrous consequences.

"If there are any spirits who wish to communicate with our mortal plane, move the planchette and spell out the words you wish to say!" Lucy shouts. To her surprise, the planchette is actually moving (NO, she is NOT moving it HERSELF, it's moving seemingly on its own!) It begins to spell out some words…

H-e-l-l-o L-u-c-y

"Gasp! Great-grandma Harriet? Is that you?!" Lucy asks, shocked

N-o

"Oh…who are you, spirit?"

I-t-s m-e… t-h-e o-n-e y-o-u h-a-t-e

"But Lola is still alive…"

"HEY, I heard that! One more comment like that and I'll claim my stake on your precious Edwin!" Lola responds violently

"But I don't really hate anyone…sure, I'm a little annoyed that my siblings ignore me, but…I don't HATE any one of them."

D-i-d y-o-u f-i-n-d i-t?

"Find what, spirit?" Lucy questions

O-u-r p-o-e-m

"What are you talking about? The only ones who write poems are me and Lincoln, and Lincoln only does so when he helps ME write them!"

The planchette moves in a fast, violent matter!

D-o-n'-t y-o-u g-e-t i-t y-e-t?

I w-a-s c-o-v-e-r-i-n-g f-o-r h-i-m

R-e-m-e-m-b-e-r w-h-e-n L-y-n-n l-o-s-t t-h-e f-i-n-a-l b-a-s-e-b-a-l-l g-a-m-e o-f t-h-e s-e-a-s-o-n?

I t-o-o-k o-v-e-r o-u-r b-r-o-t-h-e-r'-s j-o-b b-e-c-a-u-s-e h-e h-a-d t-o d-e-a-l w-i-t-h 5 s-i-s-t-e-r'-s e-v-e-n-t-s y-e-s-t-e-r-d-a-y!

N-o-t t-o m-e-n-t-i-o-n t-h-a-t 2 o-f t-h-e-m w-e-r-e L-o-l-a a-n-d L-y-n-n

L-o-l-a h-a-d h-i-m t-r-a-i-n w-i-t-h h-e-r t-o b-e-a-t m-e i-n a p-o-s-e o-f-f

A-n-d w-e a-l-l k-n-o-w a-b-o-u-t L-y-n-n'-s e-v-e-n-t…

"Wait… "OUR brother"?! Does that mean...?!" Lucy responds in a startled manner "Well, there's only one way to be sure, spirit, what is your name?"

* * *

L-

-A-

-N-

-A-

-L-

-O-

-U-

-D

…

"Lana…is it really you?" Lucy inquires. She's speechless that she managed to contact a spirit at all! Let alone the spirit of her dead sister!

A blue sphere flies into Lynn and Lucy's bedroom. It pauses for a while… Lucy stares at the orb, it materializes into a familiar shape. It looks like an astral projection of Lana…It approaches Lucy.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Lana's ghost states

Lucy is just frozen in a state of shock. After a few minutes, she snaps out it. She speaks to the apparition of Lana.

"Is it really you? Are you really our sister, Lana?" Lucy questions

"Yes…It's me. I can't hold this semi-physical form forever, though. In a while, I'll revert back to the sphere form. I can still talk in that form, but people won't know it's "me". They'll just assume they're crazy because they're hearing a blue sphere talking to them, not realizing it's a ghost." Lana explains "I saw you were trying to talk to spirits again…" Lana glances over at the Ouija board "…so I thought I'd come in and say "hi.""

"So, what poem do you keep talking about?"

"It was about lights…"

Lucy remembers that she and Lincoln made that poem! But…If what Lana said is true, that means she was the one who was helping her! Lucy finds the poem and recites it to Lana. She nods her head, confirming that this is the poem she was talking about.

"I think this poem is starting to turn into a prophecy…or an omen…either way, it's not looking good…" Lana said nervously

"What are you talking about Lana?"

"In this family there are 2 lights, split apart, by endless fights. The faded light, broken by strife, will have to give up life." Lana recites "That's the first stanza and first 3 lines of the poem. And it seems like it already came true."

"I'll explain it to you." Lana continues "In this family there are 2 lights, one of them is me, the other is another one of our siblings. Split apart by endless fights, fairly obvious, it represents the chaotic dysfunction caused by our siblings in the Loud house. The faded light, broken by strife, the Trinity of Violence's many attempts to stop me from "shifting the family dynamic", when all I want is for Lincoln to be treated fairly. Will have to give up life…uh, we already know what happened."

* * *

"But I already looked up what your name means. "Lana" doesn't mean "light", it means "good-looking".

"In English, but in Greek it means "shining light.""

"You can try to search all our sibling's names into a "what does my name mean?" website, but the "second light" in the poem is metaphoric. But just because I'm curious, I'll let you look them up anyway." Lana clarifies

Lucy tries to search all of the Loud sibling's names into a "what does my name mean?" website. The results she got were that "Lori" means "laurel tree/sweet bay tree", a symbol of victory, this definitely fits her demanding personality. "Leni" isn't found, but names that have "leni" as part of a bigger name I.E: Eleni means "light" in Greek. But if someone made a fanfic where Leni dies…I don't think anyone would get through it, it would be way too depressing/sad to even continue reading it. "Luna" means "moon" (but everybody already knows that, it was kind of anticlimactic searching this one…). "Luan" means "uprising" in Chinese…considering Lana made her a co-leader of the Covalence Network, this couldn't be truer. Another note, all other names that have "luan" as part of a bigger name I.E: Anluan means "champion" in Irish and Luana/e means "graceful battle maiden" in German. "Lynn" means "waterfall". "Lincoln" means "lakeside colony", fitting, since the Loud family lives in Michigan, which is bordered by 4 of the 5 Great Lakes, but his nickname, "Linc", has an even better meaning. "Linc" means "wise". Ironically, "Lucy" means "bringer of light". "Lola" means "sorrowful". This is only half true. Lola doesn't EXPERIENCE sorrow, she CAUSES it in others! "Lisa" means "oath of God", but if God saw what Lisa was doing, God would disapprove. And finally, "Lily" means "purity".

"Well, that was enlightening. But remember, the "second light" is metaphoric. It seems my time in this form is up." The phantasm form of Lana destabilizes "Well, if you ever need me, just call! I'm still here, you just can't see me. But I still watch all over you…until then…" Lana turns back into a blue sphere and flies off

Lucy turns to decipher the rest of their poem. It seems the Loud house will get chaotic once again… it's only a matter of time. But, with Lana still helping her family from the spirit plane, it seems like things will become…more peaceful until then.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Didn't see that coming, did you? Lana's ghost can either be summoned by Lucy or she can choose to appear. If either of those situations happen, she'll be in the sphere form. The astral projection form makes it so that person KNOWS that they're talking to a ghost instead of just a floating blue orb. But don't worry about Lana, she's working hard to master a way to make the astral projection form last as long as she wants! I almost forgot, when Lola says she'll claim her stake on Edwin, she means she's going to stake (stab) him, but since Edwin is just a bust and not a real vampire, Lola will "kill" him by using a hammer and chisel to shatter him.**


	22. After All I've Done

**Chapter Synopsis: Lola grieves over Lana's death**

* * *

Out of all the Loud house siblings, no one took Lana's death harder than Lola. It makes sense, they were twin sisters… Lola grieves for Lana by visiting her grave every day and telling it what happens in the house. It's almost as if she thinks Lana is still with her…it's very sad and pitiable. Lana's grave is also known by another name, the Tranquility Grave. Rumor has it that when a person visits the grave with a negative emotion I.E anger, once that person returns home, or after about 4 hours have passed, they will inexplicably be calm once more. The grave is also guarded by a few small animals, so that no one knowingly desecrates it. Mostly idiot millennials playing the newest Pokémon Go knockoff. How was the grave consecrated in the first place? An archbishop who was presiding over Lana's funeral blessed the land the grave was on and poured holy water on it for added protection. But that's enough fun facts, because we just missed Lola leaving the cemetery to head back to the Loud house.

Back at the house we move toward the room on the left, closest to the linen closet that became Lincoln's room. He enabled IONME, so we can't see him, we also don't know the password, only Lincoln and Lana do, and…he's too depressed to override the security system with his voice. We'll get back to Lincoln later, right now, we head into the twins' room. Lana's side is immaculate, it hasn't been touched since her death. Lincoln still takes care of her pets, as per their promise. But other than that, nothing. On Lola's side, she still has her pageant trophy case, filled with 49 trinkets consisting of trophies, pageant crowns, ribbons and scepters. Above her queen-sized bed are many narcissistic, but glamorous headshots of Lola. A reminder of jealousy for her, directed at her twin. In the closet are many pink dresses, most of them unworn. Since Lola has been banned from pageants for a month, this is a given, but she doesn't really feel like pageants anyway (Gasp, **THE** Lola Loud, not caring about her pageant career, what is happening?!). The only outlier of clothing is…THAT. Lola takes it out and reminisces…

"Lola, you failed the tea party challenge. And Lana, you failed the campsite challenge. So, I'm afraid neither of you gets a patch."

"WHAT?!"

"You had a tea party? How'd you mess that up?"

"And you had a campsite? How could that go wrong?"

[The two of them pick up each other's lucky charms]

"I thought you might have the same challenge as me and you'd never be able to do it and I didn't want to be a Bluebell without you! Really? Aw!"

"Sorry for being so hard on you today."

"Me too. We're just good at different stuff."

"Bluebells or not Bluebells, I don't care. As long as we're together."

[They hug again]

"You two cutie patooties just earned your fifth patch after all..." [holds up a special patch] "...for your Faithful Friendship." [puts sashes on them] "Oh, congratulations. You are both Bluebells. Now if you'll excuse me..." [bawling] "...I HAVE TO GO CALL MY SISTER WISTER!" [runs off to do so]

[The twins start celebrating]

"Woo-hoo!"

"We did it!"

"Bluebells!"

"We rock! Yes!"

The 4 patches that Lola earned, Fashion Forecast, Music Makers, Sewing Smarts and Fitness Fun (if this patch WASN'T about dancing, she might not have earned it) are still attached to the uniform. She takes off the 5th patch, the one they earned together, the Faithful Friendship patch and drops it.

"Faithful Friendship…I'm not your friend…I let you go alone…" Lola mocks herself melancholically

Lola sullenly ambles over to her bed and pulls out a tablet. She tries to watch an online video to distract herself from the misery she's feeling. The video she watched…it made her feel worse, but…Lola doesn't mind? The words of the singer still echo in her head.

* * *

 **"I didn't know what I got into…"**

All of this happened because of Lola. Lola joked about Lincoln committing suicide by springlock suit (he just said that because he was angry, Lola thought he was being serious and laughed at him for it). She formed the Trinity of Violence after overhearing "Lincoln" talk about 3 certain sisters (Lola was one of them, but Lana specifically stated she was a manipulator, but Lola didn't hear that part through the thin walls).

 **"…somehow I can't go back even if I really wanted to…"**

Because of her, Lana is dead. There's no way around it. If the Trinity was never formed then…Lana may still be alive! Instead the Trinity kept hazing Lana and Lincoln until…the accident.

 **"…so what more can I do?"**

Short answer, nothing. She made a choice, this was the consequence. Now Lola has to live with it for the rest of her life. Now, the dysfunction in the Loud house is constricting the family even more! Sure, dysfunction was always in their chaotic household, but now? The family might not be able to recover from this high of a concentration level of dysfunction!

 **"Here at the end, it's just me and you."**

Lola only has herself left to confide to. She turned everyone else against her by being the catalyst of dysfunction…even if it was unintentional. Her sisters despise her, her brother is in a deep depression because of her, her parents are disgusted by her actions, the only one who might possibly care is Lynn Jr, but that's a bit of a long shot.

 **"I never wanted to play by all the rules…"**

This line makes Lola think of Lana. If Lana had just let the status quo go on and make Lincoln continue to wear that ugly squirrel mascot suit, they'd still be together. But no, Lana had to side with Lincoln and try to break the rules. The house of cards has toppled. You don't try to mess with an already fragile family dynamic, otherwise you'll just make the problem worse!

 **"…a knife in hand, I'm playing out the part of the fool."**

Lola was the one who caused the Lana dot exe incident to happen. Just to try and get Lana to stop messing with the balance. She also tried gaslighting Lincoln to make Lana abandon her plan. This only strengthened her resolve to clear Lincoln's name and prove he isn't bad luck. She unleashed Operation Twinsanity to try and force Lola to back off, and it worked. Lola can't risk her pageant reputation. After that all TOV attacks were suspended. Lola even tried to help Lana by destroying the very organization she built up.

 **"So here we go, you can judge me thoroughly…"**

It all comes back to Lola…

 **"…it's too late for apologies."**

Lana is dead, nothing will change that, and it's all your fault, Lola.

 **"Go ahead and just hit me since you're able…"**

Lola deserves all punishment directed at her.

 **"…we know my determination is unstable."**

Lola tends to do stuff impulsively and without thinking. Sure, she might extort someone to get what she wants, but the end result is for something arbitrarily petty!

 **"I'm not even mad because I keep on dying, but I don't even know why I'm trying."**

Lola glances over at a pink toy knife that has the words "soft knife" written on it. It belongs to one of her dollhouse sets. Plastic knives? They're a rarity nowadays.

 **"This isn't what I want, but it's what I asked for…"**

Obviously, Lola still loves Lana! She doesn't want her to die! She may get annoyed at Lana for being filthy and crude at times, but she's still her sister!

 **"…curiosity over all my morals…"**

This line pretty much defines Lola's entire characterization! She only cares about her goal, and doesn't care who she has to step on to get it! She DOES love her family, but she does use them to achieve her goals, even if they are… morally dubious. We all know the episode that shows this, right?

 **"…I took away our perfect, happy ending…"**

Lola believes she is the one responsible for Lana's death. Now…things in the Loud house will never be the same again…how will the Loud siblings move forward from this point?

 **"…resetting the world despite the warnings."**

Unfortunately, there is no reset button in real life…

 **"Right now, I'm made of LOVE…LOVE…LOVE…LOVE…LOVE."**

Lola is quite possibly, literally made of LOVE (the acronym for Level of Violence in Undertale, of course). The only thing keeping her DETERMINATION in check? Her compassion SOUL, it suppresses her violent urges, but it doesn't always work. Yes, ironically, Lola's SOUL trait is compassion, when she isn't THAT compassionate in the show's canon (she does show it sometimes, but it's rare).

 **"I know who you are, you remember who I am…"**

After everything, Lincoln will most likely disassociate himself with the sisters who were in the Trinity of Violence, even if 2 of the 3 members feel bad about all the pain they cause him and want to repent for their actions.

 **"We knew that once in a timeline, we had grown to be good friends…"**

From her point of view, Lola got along great with every member of her family. But if you ask anyone else, they'll say that Lola is a cold, calculating, heartless monster who doesn't care about anyone but herself. They'll also talk about her numerous blackmail and extortion attempts to try to make her life easier, and her opponent's more miserable.

 **"…and yet I killed your brother, without giving him a chance…"**

Well, THEIR brother, but the point still stands. Lincoln has become despondent ever since the accident. All he does is stay in his room all day…the only time he comes out is to take care of Lana's pets, then he locks himself in his room until the next day.

 **"…every time you throw me down, I hope you kill me once again."**

Self-explanatory.

 **"So go ahead and just hit me since you're able…"**

Lola walks over to the pink plastic knife and wields it.

 **"…all the sin that I can feel is unbearable."**

Lola is crushed by the immense guilt she feels.

 **"If I can just hit you once it would be over…"**

Lola raises the knife to her neck and points the sharp end (relatively sharp, it IS a piece of plastic shaped like a knife) towards her.

 **"…but the consequences last forever."**

Lola hesitates for a moment to consider what she's doing. Then tries to find the willpower to continue to go through with it. She eventually breaks out of her hesitation and continues.

 **"The flowers are in bloom as the birds will tell…"**

Lola brings the knife close…so close, that she can feel the serrated plastic on her skin.

 **"…it's a beautiful day to be burning in Hell."**

Lola makes a quick diagonal right to left slash. It hurt a little, but it didn't work…Lola is still alive…the cut didn't even draw blood! Well, it is plastic…Lola begins to head downstairs to the kitchen where the REALLY sharp kitchen knives are, the ones that people commit homicides with. Yeah, Lola could easily be with her sister again with something that sharp! It will only hurt for a moment…then…nothing at all…

 **"You gave me advice, I chose genocide…"**

Lola heads to the outside of the room.

 **"…but I know how to make it right..."**

Lola glances over at Lincoln's room, then inside the twins' room, Lana's side.

" **I'm made of LOVE…LOVE…LOVE…LOVE…"**

Lola heads over to Lincoln's room.

 **"But I'll give up for you."**

 **"Love…love…love."**

 **"But I'll give up for you."**

 **"Love…love…love."**

 **"But I'll give up for you _."_**

 _ **"**_ **L** **ove…love…love** _ **."**_

* * *

Lola remembers…how Lincoln cared for them. How he protected them from a "ghost" (it was Clyde on a walkie-talkie). How he helped Lana rescue 50 frogs from a gruesome death by dissection. How he helped her keep her pageant career intact by replacing a horrid polaroid of her with one that Lily took (how Lily took such a beautiful picture of Lola, the world may never know, but it happened, and Lola appreciated it). What has SHE done for HIM? Give him nothing but pain and suffering for just wanting to be alone. Helping the other sisters beat the stuffing out of him when he's being selfish. How could they even be considered acquaintances, let alone siblings? Lola acquiesces this fact…she is a bratty hellion that only causes sorrow for others.

"Really? Even though I was going to turn your rooms into my own personal theme park?"

[The girls look at him upset and seem to have changed their minds]

"It was nice knowing you." [takes Lincoln's piggy bank]

[Lana takes Bun-Bun and the piggy bank back from the baby and her twin and returns them to Lincoln]

"Of course, we won't let you go. You're our only brother."

She heads back into her room and takes her yearbook out of the closet, she sees the portrait of her…it's the beautiful one that Lily took. Lola overheard Lincoln's conversation with Clyde about being forgotten…

"Sorry, pal."

"But we'll be forgotten."

"Guys, what you did means everything to me. I know I may act like a little crazy-pants sometimes, but...I'll never forget you for this." [hugs them and they hug back] "Never ever."

Lola also promised Lana something before she died…now, what was it?

"Lola, can you promise me one thing."

"Anything, Lans."

"Will you protect Lincoln from now on?"

Lola decides…maybe it's finally time to return the favor…

She heads out of her room, walks up to Lincoln's door and says this to him from the outside of his room:

"We need to talk…"

* * *

 **Author's Note: Wow, 10,000 views? I never thought that this story would become this popular. I thought this story would die in obscurity, but you guys seem to really want it. In my opinion, chapter 22 is one of the best chapters in the entire story!**


	23. Tainted Love

**Chapter Synopsis: Lisa copes with Lana's death**

* * *

While Lola is talking to Lincoln from outside the door to his room, we head to the room directly across the twins' room…Lily and Lisa's room. Lily just babbles in anguish while trying to speak…

"Wah wah!"

"What is it, Lily?"

"Ers Ana?" (Where's Lana?)

"Lana…is deceased."

"…E's ed?" (she's dead?)

"Yes."

Lily's crying intensifies! The decibel levels are being transmitted all throughout the Loud house! Everyone can hear it because of the thin walls.

"Please, don't cry…"

"Ana's on!" (Lana's gone!)

"Ers 'Inkin?" (Where's Lincoln?)

"He's locked himself in his room, he refuses to leave, unless he takes care of Lana's pets…I think he feels responsible for what happened to Lana…but it's my fault."

"yo'r alt? 'Ow?" (You're fault? How?)

"I made the detonator that the Trinity used to scare Lana…after everything she's done for me, and this is how I repay her?! (scoffs at herself) I don't deserve the honor of being in Covalence."

"E rusted u… an' I rust u to" (She trusted you, and I trust you too.)

"You're right, after all, Lynn forced me to make that against my will, and she manipulated me to make it because she threatened to hurt Lana!"

"'In etened Ana? y wood E do hat?" (Lynn threatened Lana? Why would she do that?)

"I don't know…she wants Lincoln to be in that suit forever, she doesn't want the family dynamic to change. Lana WAS that change… Lynn must have wanted to keep us together so badly, ironically, all she did was split us up further."

"In want's Inkin to dye! E ates him! (Lynn wants Lincoln to die! She hates him!)

"No, Lynn may be a jerk, but she's not a murderer."

"Ins spores obcession is uinin r famly, E's forgoten ow to b a syster to Inkin! U eyes r eel systers to hymn, evn Hola an Lordie! (Lynn's sports obsession is ruining our family, she's forgotten how to be a sister to Lincoln! You guys are real sisters to him, even Lola and Lori!)

"Lily…what about me?"

"Pizza? U r grate! U helpd Ana cull Inkin wif at ashine u envented! (Lisa? You are great! You helped Lana cool Lincoln with that machine you invented!)

"Ana is debeste syster ever!" (Lana is the best sister ever!)

"Yes…she is."

* * *

Lily has calmed down. Lisa tries to begin a new experiment but she seems unfocused. She tries to clear her mind and start again. Lisa attempts to pour two different chemicals into a flask, she misses one of them and it would've burned a hole through her lab table if it wasn't coated in acidproof reinforced steel! Lisa is confused.

"Curious, why am I so distracted? This isn't like me…am I missing something?"

Lisa grabs a picture on her desk. It has the Loud family in it, all 13 members…upon seeing a certain sibling, Lisa begins to experience some emotions she rarely encounters!

"No, could it be…am I missing…Lana?"

How could this be possible? Lisa and Lana…they don't get along well. They fight about as much as Lola and Lincoln do (and they are the WORST sibling bond, when compared with all other bonds concerning the Loud house siblings). There's the time when EVERYONE (sans Lincoln) fought each other over something petty.

"Oh boy, here we go. We are now at Erupting Volcano, people!" [moves marker to highest point on the Loud house DEFCON chart]

"Enough with your DUMB chart!" [Lana eats a part of it]

"How would you like to eat that hat!?"

Somehow, Lisa got the chart fixed at the end of that episode…best not to think about that.

And there was the time when Lisa was going to do some unethical animal testing using one of Lana's pets…

"Lisa stole my best rat, Bitey!"

"Who's Bitey? This is Subject 57A."

And the time where Lisa went mad with power, just like when Squidward had his power high in the _SpongeBob_ episode " _Snowball Effect_ ".

"Aw, come on! Seriously?"

"My decision is final. You cannot talk me out of it."

[Someone throws a snowball at Lisa]

"Alright, who did that?!"

[The Loud kids move away and reveal that it was Lana]

"Aw, you finks!"

"You've poked a bear, my friend."

"Haha. What are you going to do...?"

[Lisa throw a snowball at Lana]

"Huh. That was actually quite satisfying."

[Lisa makes another snowball]

[helping Lana up with Lincoln] "Here, Lana."

"Let's help you up."

[Lisa throws a snowball at Lana again, and the others as well]

"Hey, this is kind of..."

"...fun?"

"Yes, F-O-N, fun."

Lisa targeted Lana THREE times within 2 days!

[Lana is making another snowman.]

"Ah. Even better."

[Suddenly, Lisa starts firing snowballs and makes a hole on Mr. Twig Arms Jr.]

[gasps] "Mr. Twig Arms Jr.!"

[laughs] "Look alive, Lana! Mr. Twig Arms sure doesn't."

Wow…the worst one was the third time. Lisa apparently doesn't respect the sanctity and privacy of the bathroom, because she attacked Lana there too. Lana only had this to say about the incident:

"Is nothing sacred?!"

* * *

"Yeah…how could I miss Lana?" Lisa reassures herself "We fight all the time, even more so than normal siblings. I don't miss her beaming smile, or the charming way she tracks mud into the house, or how she tries to help with my experiments (the ethical ones) but somehow messes it up and just laughs it off, while I have to start over. I also don't miss the way her beautiful golden locks flow in the wind, or how badly I've wanted to caress them!"

A record needle scratch and the sound of glass shattering is heard. Lisa just realized what she said…

"Wait, WHAT did I just say?! How could I say THAT about our Lana?! Superego, you sicken me! How dare you fill my mind with perverse thoughts about my own kin! I meant I enjoy her company and want to hang out with her more! No wait! AHH! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PROCESS THESE EMOTIONS!"

Error: Lisa dot EXE has experienced a blue screen…

Rebooting…

Reboot successful…

"Oh, who am I kidding, I've got it BAD for Lana…but why am I feeling these emotions NOW?! We used to be the second-most confrontational paring (behind Lola-Lincoln). Why HER of all people do I feel the most connected to?! I even did a compatibility test to determine what the best parings are, they're even backed up with science! But…I didn't match up with **ANYONE!** "

Lisa tries to research on how this is possible. First, she decides on WHY she chose that exact wording…she determines that a word that corresponds with caress is frolic. Lisa looks up the definition of the word "frolic".

Frolic: What 2 people do before fucking

"What the heck?! Oh…I see the problem. I looked it up on Urban Dictionary…I should have known that place is run by a bunch of primal degenerate savages! How about an ACTUAL dictionary?" Lucky for Lisa, her mind is ironclad, so filth from the cesspool of information ( _Urban Dictionary_ , and surprisingly not _4chan_ ) won't be able to get in…it's like she has a built in mental firewall!

Lisa looks up the definition on a real dictionary…

Frolic: to have fun

* * *

"Fun…what is fun?" Lisa inquires

A blue sphere approaches Lana and sings a song to her.

"F is for friends who do stuff together…"

"U is for you and me…"

"N is for anywhere and anytime at all…

"down here in the deep blue sea!"

"Irritating globule of plasma, cease and desist your auditory cacophony assaulting my eardrums and vanish!" Lisa shouted at it

"Fine, I thought you wanted to know what fun is, curmudgeon!"

The blue sphere fades out of existence.

"Why did that plasma globule have the vocal range of Lana? Was that…?! No…I must be seeing and hearing things…If the scientific community hears about this, they'll lock me in an insane asylum!" Lisa reasoned with herself, but the schizophrenia she self-diagnosed herself with is more than enough to have her committed!

* * *

Lisa does finally acknowledge something important…every time Lana interacted with Lisa, she felt a sort of…contentedness. As well as a desire to be closer together with her…is this fun? No…this is propinquity, Lana apparently radiates happiness from her and everyone feels happy (contented (low end happy) instead of ecstasy (high end happy)). It reminds her of something Lucy showed her once, some paranormal compendium that she was into for a while…It was the _Secure, Contain, Protect Foundation_. It was number 999, Lisa believes. She recalls its description:

Description: SCP-999 appears to be a large, amorphous, gelatinous mass of translucent orange slime, weighing about 54 kg (120 lbs) with a consistency similar to that of peanut butter. Subject's size and shape constantly change, though most of the time its form is the size of a large beanbag chair. Composition of SCP-999 is oil-based but consists of a substance unknown to modern science. Other than a thin, transparent membrane surrounding the orange mass, subject appears to have no organs to speak of.

Subject's temperament is best described as playful and dog-like: when approached, SCP-999 will react with overwhelming elation, slithering over to the nearest person and leaping upon them, "hugging" them with a pair of pseudopods while nuzzling the person's face with a third pseudopod, all the while emitting high-pitched gurgling and cooing noises. The surface of SCP-999 emits a pleasing odor that differs with whomever it is interacting with. Recorded scents include chocolate, fresh laundry, bacon, roses, and Play-Doh™.

Simply touching SCP-999's surface causes an immediate euphoria, which intensifies the longer one is exposed to SCP-999 and lasts long after separation from the creature. Subject's favorite activity is tickle-wrestling, often by completely enveloping a person from the neck down and tickling them until asked to stop (though it does not always comply with this request).

While the creature will interact with anyone, it seems to have a special interest in those who are unhappy or hurt in any way. Persons suffering from crippling depression, after interacting with SCP-999, have returned completely cured with a very positive outlook on life. The possibility of marketing SCP-999's slime as an antidepressant has been discussed.

In addition to its playful behavior, SCP-999 seems to love all animals (especially humans), refusing to eat any meat and even risking its own life to save others, even leaping in front of a person to take a bullet fired at them (subject's intellect is still up for debate: though its behavior is infantile, it seems to understand human speech and most modern technology, including guns). The creature's diet consists entirely of candy and sweets, with M&M's™ and Necco™ wafers being its favorites. Its eating methods are similar to those of an amoeba.

Lisa concludes that this "SCP-999" and Lana have similar personalities. Both love animals, have a positive outlook on life despite the futility of it compiled with the bleakness of the world, and both would be willing to do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to protect others. The differences are that SCP-999 emanates the "ecstatic" happiness upon contact and is an amoebalike creature.

* * *

Lisa now confirms that Lana make her feel happy, but surely, there must be more than that, Lisa decides to examine everyone's personalities, specifically their temperaments. She knows that temperaments are only one facet of the complexity that is someone's personality, but it is a major factor in determining it. So, she researches temperaments on the greatest repository of knowledge ever compiled on the internet, _TV Tropes_ (it's an even **BETTER** version of Wikipedia)! She reads the pages and tries to explain it to herself to understand it better (for YOU, reader, not her, she's already a certified genius)!

"Ok, so there are 4 main temperaments, sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic. I've taken the liberty of organizing our siblings into the 4 main types. I could go into dual temperament combinations, but we'd be here for a while, so I'll keep it short.

Lisa researches all the siblings and finds most of their temperaments quickly. Lisa observed Lincoln for a week to see if he would do anything interesting. He didn't, so, Lisa surmised that his behavior is indicative of what people would call a "loser".

"Sanguine AKA: Frivol- Luan, Lana, Lily"

"Choleric AKA: Enrage- Lola, Lynn Jr, Lori"

"Melancholic AKA: Precise- Lisa, Lucy"

"Phlegmatic AKA: Lax- Lincoln, Luna"

But wait! Leni isn't included in the list! Lisa knows about this fact and reveals…there's a **FIFTH** temperament. The fifth one is known as Supine.

"Supine AKA: Depend-Leni"

Lisa indulges herself intellectually by studying this 5th temperament. What she found changes **EVERYTHING** we know about everyone's favorite ditzy sister! Here are a few excerpts from some Christian website she found. Luckily, Lisa is an atheist so she ignores the zealous "Ya'll need Jesus" subliminal messaging, she knows that fighting about religion causes wars (the Crusades, anyone?).

"People who are supine have many interests but feels like they cannot show it."

"Supines are easily offended and are overly sensitive."

"They see the world as one where they are controlled by others."

"They show anger as "being hurt" instead of you seeing rage on their face."

"Supines think they can't make good decisions on their own."

"They are easily confused when hearing differing opinions."

"If treated well, a supine will be fiercely loyal to the person that did so."

"They have a hard time expressing their emotions."

"This…explains a lot." Lisa concludes "Leni doesn't fall into the 4 main types like most people. She desperately wants to express herself but can't! It's almost Shakespearian in a way…"

"She is completely subservient to Lori, she must have "attached" to her once they were together. A submissive-dominant paring, how easily that can go wrong. I sometimes jokingly call Leni "Lori's shadow", apparently, I wasn't too far off from the truth. Even when Lori does something Leni doesn't agree with, she goes along with it, out of fear of being rejected. The website says supines need to have constant reminders that they're loved."

"Supine was originally part of the phlegmatic temperament, so it kind of makes sense that Lincoln and Luna get along with Leni so well. And why those three have a little clique in the Loud house, they would all protect each other, well…until the Sisventmageddon. This event caused Lincoln to become avoidant to his sisters, but Leni **STILL** wanted him to come to her charity fashion show. He came up with a half-baked lie to get out of it. Even if I think the "great cause" was stupid (seriously, oysters without pearls?), it was still selfish of Lincoln to do that. How do I know this? Leni told me."

"Lana, you probably didn't know this at the time, but…recruiting Leni…was the best opening play you could've done. Now she'll help take over your cause with Luna and Luan, and they'll make sure that Lincoln is safe, they'll swear by it." Lisa states to absolutely no one

"So, just to reinforce how the 5 temperaments would react, here's a situation that all 5 types will solve: Luna needs help with her geology homework, the question is what type of rock is formed in magma?"

* * *

Luan tries to help Luna with the problem…

"Hey, sis. Can you help me with this geology question?"

"Help you, but you should have already aced it, after all you're a _rockstar_!"

"Which of the 3 rock types are formed in magma?"

"Such a _fiery_ question, I'd lava to help, but I'm busy, _obsidian_."

"…Fire…lava…obsidian…it's igneous, isn't it?"

"Clear as _crystal_ , Luna!"

* * *

Lynn Jr tries to help Luna with the problem…

"Hey, sis. Can you help me with this geology question?"

"Nope, I know nothing about geology, I don't know why Lisa sent me to tutor you…"

"Well, since you're here, can you tell me which rock type forms in magma?"

"Nope." [Leaves]

"That didn't help at all!"

"I'll pick this one, anyway, since this is how I feel right now…" [picks igneous]

* * *

Lisa tries to help Luna with the problem…

"Hey Lis, can you help me with-"

"Igneous."

"Rad, thanks!"

* * *

Lincoln tries to help Luna with the problem…

"Hey bro, got a sec?"

"Sure Luna, what's up?"

"Can you help me with this geology question?"

"Sure."

"What is the rock type that forms in magma?"

"Well, what are the choices?"

"Igneous, Metamorphic, and Sedentary."

"Well, what do you remember from class?

"Sedentary is formed by bits of rock compacting on top of each other. Metamorphic is crushed by immense heat and pressure in the Earth's asthenosphere. Igneous is formed in magma chambers, the magma is so hot, it crystalizes bits of rock into the magma!"

"So, which is it?"

"Oh, it's igneous, thanks little bro!"

"I didn't do anything, you did!"

* * *

Leni tries to help Luna with the problem…

"Uh, are you sure you can help me with this, Leni?"

"Sure!"

"…ok, what type of rock is formed in magma?"

"I don't know!"

"What? But you said you did!"

"I only said that so you wouldn't be disappointed in me…"

"Well, now I'm disappointed…"

"But I think I found the rock you're looking for!"

Leni holds up a _Pink Floyd_ album copy of " _The Dark Side of the Moon_ ".

"No Leni, that's CLASSIC rock."

"There are more than 3 types of rocks?!"

"No, now where'd you get that?"

"I found it in a music store. I know you like music, so I got it for you."

"Thanks Leni, but this doesn't answer my geology homework."

"Well, the glass makes the white line into a rainbow of lines…"

Luna just stares at her.

"Well, let's listen to a song, Luna!"

They listen to the song " _Brain Damage_ ", Leni requested it.

"That song was wicked cool!"

"It started getting good at the 1:16 mark."

"Thanks for the sweet tunes, sis."

"Your welcome, now…I heard that the kids, mostly wannabe rappers, now call music "fire.""

"Leni…"

"What?"

"Don't say this track is "fire". That's a huge disrespect to the artist, especially if the artist isn't doing rap!"

Leni takes out a pumice stone, Luna questions what it is.

"What is that, Leni?"

"It's a pumice stone, I use it to exfoliate my face."

"What type of rock is it?"

"Porous."

"No, I mean is it, sedentary, metamorphic or igneous?"

"I don't know what any of those terms mean, but these are found near volcanos so… I guess nothing entrapping outwardly upsets sediment?"

"Uh, what?"

"…I'm sorry, I wasted enough of your time." [Leni runs away]

"What is up with her today? I guess that weird sentence is amusing…I'll mark this one." [picks igneous]

Lisa brings us back to our senses and explains her hypothesis.

* * *

"So, because I'm melancholic and Lana is sanguine, she must have invoked "opposites attract" because we have almost NOTHING in common. But…she has taught me to loosen up more. I should have realized it sooner…"

Lisa is right. Every time Lana is near, Lisa shows her immature side and "has fun" with her. Maybe…this is for the best. Lisa accepts the changes Lana has made to her character…maybe it's time for someone else to accept change.

* * *

 **Author's Note: This was a difficult chapter to write. I tried to show that Lisa has some sort of feelings for Lana without it being too creepy. I think I did alright (the original draft was WAY more out of character and unsettling, so this is the tamest version I came up with). Also, Lily can talk, kind of! All Lisa hears is babbling, but WE can understand Lily's broken English (which has a convenient translation provided by Luan)! As for the 4 temperaments, Lisa put Lincoln as a phlegmatic because he is generally seen as a peacekeeper and always avoids conflicts. They also have a great relationship with friends. As Lincoln gets along well with his "gang" at school (Which consists of him, Clyde, Liam, Rusty and Zach). He also has 2 best friends in the forms of Clyde and Ronnie Anne. Lisa also had an ulterior motive for spying on him. She wanted to find out precisely what made Lana so devoted to him (you know, aside from being his sister). As for the other Loud siblings' temperaments, here they are.**

 **Lori: Choleric/Phlegmatic  
** **Leni: Supine  
** **Luna: Phlegmatic/Sanguine  
** **Luan: Sanguine  
** **Lynn Jr: Choleric  
** **Lincoln: Phlegmatic  
** **Lucy: Melancholic/Phlegmatic  
** **Lana: Sanguine/Phlegmatic  
** **Lola: Choleric/Sanguine  
** **Lisa: Melancholic  
** **Lily: Sanguine/Melancholic**

 **So hopefully, this will help us understand how the Loud siblings would normally react to certain situations. But as Lisa said, temperament is only one facet of the complexity that is the human personality. For those who didn't get Luan's obsidian pun, it was supposed to replace the phrase "I'll see you then". Also, Leni DID help Luna with her problem, in the most roundabout way possible. I wonder if someone will actually use Leni's mnemonic to help them with their geology homework. Wouldn't THAT be something...anyway, there's only one person left to deal with the tragedy, but with his sisters beside him, they believe he will get through this troubling time.**


	24. Requited Love

**Chapter Synopsis: The sisters convince Lincoln that life is still worth living**

* * *

And finally, we see that all the Loud sisters have dealt with their inner guilts. Now…it's time for them to help their brother do the same. It's time for Lincoln to come out of the closet. But…Lincoln's security system is still operational, and he hasn't disabled it yet.

"Don't worry ladies, I got this. Lincoln, remember our deal?" Lola stated to the door, knowing fully well that Lincoln can hear her from outside

"Ugh…IONME, disable lock…" Lincoln says apathetically

The sisters enter Lincoln's room. Lincoln looks terrible…but he's still alive!

"WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME?!" Lisa shouts at him "HOW HAVE YOU NOT EMACIATED YET?!"

"I got hungry…probably a bad idea to off yourself from starvation." Lincoln chuckles dismally

"Wait, are you TRYING to kill yourself?!" Lisa questions

"No, because I'm letting nature do it for me. If I committed suicide, it means that Lana would have wasted her life on me. So, I'm trying to let dehydration or starvation kill me first, as a sign of respect to Lana…" Lincoln said, sounding like an inebriated man who has liver failure

"But those ARE suicide methods!" Lisa states "What's different about those, when I could just give you a noose or a loaded gun?!"

"Because I have to push the box to snap my neck. Because I have to pull back the safety and squeeze the trigger. With these, I can let god decide when he's had enough of my shenanigans and just say "screw it" and let me join Lana in heaven. If I did YOUR methods, I'd be cast as a tree in the next theater production of " _Inferno_ " instead of as a being that transcended existence in " _Paradiso_ ". Besides, Buddhist monks have been doing this for years to achieve total oneness in spiritualism! Sure, they look like emaciated mummies on Earth, but such is the cost of being with god." Lincoln clarifies

"But, Lana gave up her life for you so you could live!" Lisa states

…

…

…

…

All of a sudden, Lincoln breaks down in tears!

"I…JUST MISS HER…SO MUCH!" Lincoln wails "I WANT… TO SEE HER…AGAIN…IN PERSON!"

"There might be a way…" Lucy states "Lana, can you come over here? Lincoln really needs some guidance!"

"Oh please, Lucy. We all know Lana's gone forever and nothing…"

Lincoln is interrupted by a blue sphere entering and manifesting into a physical form! Everyone gasps with a mix of shock and awe as Lana's ghost appears in front of him. She slaps him in the face…somehow.

* * *

 **"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN!** " Lana yells at him "I saw what you were trying to do. Are you trying to split our family apart?!"

"No…I…" Lincoln utters, still in disbelief that Lana is with them

"Lincoln…" Lana starts to say "I don't want you to be with me, go be with the ones who need you. I gave up my life so that you could live yours…I want you to live life for the both of us. I'll always be there for you, remember?"

Lincoln starts to calm down…

"No…you're right." Lincoln said "I won't let your sacrifice be in vain."

"And we won't either." Leni states

"My only desire…is for you guys…to be a family again. Can you do that?" Lana inquires

"Yes, Lana!" All the siblings affirm in unison

"Lana, about those things I said…" Lisa began to say

"I know what you meant…I didn't know that you wanted to play with me…don't you have some important science-y stuff to win a Nobel Prize on, or something?" Lana said

Lisa nods her head in agreement.

"Just remember, che il tradimento è il peggior crimine." Lana declares in Italian

"Wait, how do you know Italian?"

"Leni had an assignment on a certain poet's book. She was so scared reading it that she wanted YOU to read it for her…but you were busy, so I did it for you. I only had nightmares for 2 days, Leni had nightmares for about 2 months…but it was a fascinating read. Anyway, talk to Lucy if you need my advice, but don't tell her to summon me every 5 seconds, that would get annoying fast, only do it if you **REALLY** need to, alright…it was nice seeing you all again, goodbye."

Lana vanishes…

* * *

"So, what did you ladies need from me?" Lincoln asks his sisters with renewed vigor and confidence. It seems Lana reminded him that his life is just beginning and he WILL see it through, WITH his family and friends by his side!

"I'll go first." Lori avers to the sisters "Lincoln, I want to join Covalence!"

"Yeah about that, the Covalence Network has disbanded, but not to worry, the Trinity of Violence is so unstable that the organization has been declared defunct! Lola told me, and she was second in command of the TOV, so it **HAS** to be true!"

Lori is shocked! All that time that was spent trying to get Lincoln a happier home life and both organizations have suddenly collapsed?! On the one hand, no more Trinity! Lincoln is free, he isn't oppressed by Lynn Jr, Lola or herself! Lana accomplished her objective! Covalence is gone…but his SISTERS AREN'T! THEY are the ones with the power to decide what happens in the Loud house now ALONG with Lincoln…hopefully, it's for the better.

"If Covalence is now disbanded, does that mean we can stop protecting Lincoln?" Leni questions

"No, because we have a duty as his sisters to protect him, just like how he has a duty to protect US!" Lori replies back

"Rad, now little bro…will you let us make it up to you? We'll do anything you want! Even go to Gus' Games and Grub!" Luna pleads with Lincoln

"Sure, Luna…once we're done here, we'll go." Lincoln answers back

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"I…have to admit something…but I don't know how to phrase it…" Lincoln admits to his sisters

* * *

Luan approaches him…

"Whatever it is, you can tell us…we won't judge you, right guys?"

The sisters agree on that statement.

"Well, here goes… uh, this is really embarrassing… I…kind of… have… a crush… on…you…Luan." Lincoln reels back when he said that, he's cringing at what he just admitted to, he's not sure if he's going to the 2nd circle (for lust) or 9th circle (for (what he thinks is…) incest) of Hell for this. Thank god that times have changed since that Italian book was written!

All the sisters look on in shock, except Luan, who just has a puzzled expression on her face.

"So, why do you have a crush on your **OWN SISTER?!** "

"Hey, it's not like I wanted this…actually everything was just fine until I turned 8…"

"You had it **FOR 3 YEARS?!** "

"Yeah…ever since then… I've always wanted to hang out with her more. I thought it was just a passing feeling…but days turned to months, months turned into years, those feelings…never subsided. You guys probably think I'm a lecherous pervert who's so sick he'd…DO THAT…to his own sister. Luan, I'm sorry you have such a mentally defective brother. Maybe It's best if I leave…I don't want her to get hurt by me." Lincoln clarifies

"No way, bro! You'd never do that! This is just…a precocious crush! You'll get over it!" Luna reassures him

"But what about Ronnie Anne?" Lori asks him

"Ronnie Anne is a really cool girl and I WOULD like us to try to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but I don't think she's ready to take the next step in the relationship. All she does is prank me! Unless she says otherwise, I consider us "best friends", and you know what, I'm totally fine with that. Besides, that might interfere with YOUR relationship with Bobby." Lincoln avows

"Aw, that's a shame, I thought it would work out between you two." Luan says to him

"I thought so, too." Lincoln responds back

"So, about this crush of yours…you don't get nosebleeds every time you see me, right? Like Clyde does with Lori…"

"No."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Linc?"

"Yeah, Luan?"

"I have something to tell you, too."

"What is it?"

"I think I have a crush on you."

Everyone responds with a collective **"WHAT?**!"

"Yeah, it started when I turned 11."

"So, you two have been hiding this from us for 3 years?"

"I thought you'd see me as a freak, knowing I'm attracted to my own brother! So, I just didn't tell anyone hoping the feelings would go away, but they didn't."

"I don't think you're a freak, I think you're cute!" Lincoln blurts out, then he covers his mouth with his hands, realizing what he just said. He meant that as a genuine compliment, but his sisters might think he's trying to flirt with Luan!

"Really? You think I'm…cute?" Luan inquires

"Yeah!"

"Thanks, Lincoln…that means a lot, coming from you."

They gaze longingly into each other's eyes… Lincoln caresses Luan's hair while Luan caresses Lincoln's cheek.

"We'll always be together, right?"

"Yeah, as brother and sister, we'll protect each other, right?"

"It's a promise."

* * *

Lincoln and Luan embrace each other tenderly. The sisters realize that Lincoln and Luan aren't in a secret relationship. They just have a deep sibling bond, and are just like any other brother and sister, devoted to each other until the very end! Lincoln and Luan also realize that the crushes they have on one another show them that they really do care for one another, platonically, of course.

"So, Lana has just told me our poem is an omen of sorts." Lucy said, butting in during one of the most heart melting displays of brother-sister affection.

"Have you made any progress in deciphering it?" Lincoln asks, puzzled

"Lana explained to me the first stanza of the poem already came true. But I'm having trouble pinpointing exactly who this "second light" is. Lana told me it's metaphoric, so it could be ANY ONE of us..."

"This is most troubling, I'll let you continue decrypting yours and Lana's poem's hidden meanings." Lincoln answers "Lola, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, Linky…I'm sure." Lola said with a firmness in her voice

"What's the princess trying to do? Form a new kingdom?" Lynn Jr snidely remarks

"Yes…she is. Ladies, Lola has decided to make a 3rd organization…"

"Like the first one she made went so well…" Lynn mocks

Lori gives Lynn Jr a slap to the back of the head, like one that _LJG_ gives his subordinates down at _NCIS_.

"OW!"

"Show some respect to Lincoln, he gave Lola the chance to speak!" Lori caustically rebuffs to her

"Thank you, Lori. Now as I was saying, this 3rd organization will serve the purpose of uniting all of us together permanently! Lola is still finalizing all the details, but I can tell you this. Lola and I are the co-leaders of the new organization!" Lincoln exclaims to his sisters

"I have something to declare, elder brother." Lisa states in a monotonous tone

"Proceed."

"Since the accident, I have beefed up my security system. I also have invented numerous devices to help defend myself with…so if I get into a fight with Lynn, she won't knock me unconscious in one punch." Lisa states to the crowd

"Ha, I knew brawn could beat brains, if the brain didn't have any outside help." Lynn Jr confidently states

"And who got dad to revoke your sports privileges? Me." Lisa taunts

The moment Lisa said that, Lynn Jr got a crazed look in her eyes. She tries to maim Lisa for saying that.

 **"YOU TAKE THAT BACK! I'LL KILL YOU FOR DESTROYING MY LIVELIHOOD!"** Lynn screams while sobbing hysterically. Lori and Lincoln had to restrain her, and even then, Lynn almost broke free a couple of times! The siblings agree to let Lynn cool off in her room.

"You probably shouldn't have provoked her. Angering Lynn is like poking a bear with a stick, it's practically a death sentence." Lincoln warns Lisa

"Duly noted…elder brother…thanks for helping protect me…" Lisa says pensively

"You're welcome. Now is that everything that you ladies wanted to tell me?"

"Yes!" All of the sisters respond back

"Ok, then. Enough feeling sorry for ourselves! We're going to Gus' Games and Grub! Me and Luna are paying, so let's have the time of our lives. After all, Lana wanted us ALL to be happy, and spreading joy to our family is what gives me happiness." Lincoln declared happily

"AW!" The sisters gush over the concern their brother has over them

They all leave to go to the arcade, leaving Lynn behind…

* * *

"You'll get yours for killing Lana, Lincoln! I will pay you back! Lana WILL be avenged! I will send a dirty sister killer to Hell. Sisters, why do you conspire to protect a murderer? Even if it is an accident, murder is still murder! The courts will hang you for this, Linc! And I will watch for the exact moment your neck fractures, that will be the sound of Lana getting justice! Don't worry little sister, I will make him pay for taking you away from us by any means necessary!

* * *

 **Author's Note: Ok...of the 4 loves, Lincoln and Luan's relationship is at the level "Philia", while Lisa and Lana's are at "Storge" (for Lana) and "Philia" (for Lisa). The Loves go in this order.**

 **Storge-affection  
** **Philia-friendship  
** **Eros-romance  
** **Agape-worship**

 **However, ALL relationships between the siblings are platonic.**


	25. A New Leif

**Chapter Synopsis: The Louds head back to school**

* * *

The 2-week respite is over, the dreaded words no adolescent should ever have to hear echoes off the walls of the Loud house. Those words?

 **"Back to school!"**

A collective groan is heard from all the Loud siblings. After packing away a literal mountain of homework between the (now) 10 of them. They each head off to their respective schools. Lincoln, Lucy, Lola, and Lisa head to the Royal Woods Elementary School. As for why Lisa is tagging along? Well, take it from her, she would rather be working on solutions that would benefit humankind, but even though she has a medical doctorate from an esteemed university, she IS still 4 years old, and society expects her to be in kindergarten, so unfortunately for her, she has to be there to avoid truancy charges. Lisa is not amused by this societal norm.

* * *

Lincoln escorts his younger siblings to their respective classrooms. Once he gets to Lola's classroom, he talks to her.

"Are you going to be alright?" Lincoln questions

"Yes, Linky. Are you?" Lola responds with another question

"Yeah, I'll be fine, we've had 2 weeks to air out our grievances. I think it's time for us to have some semblance of normalcy in the aftermath of the tragedy."

Lincoln glances over at the clock. Oh no! He only has 1 minute to hightail it to Mrs. Johnson's class before he's counted absent! He speeds down the hallways and bursts through the doors, he takes his seat next to his best friend Clyde with 8 seconds to spare! The bell rings and Mrs. Johnson enters.

"So, Slick…what plan did you have to not be tardy on your first day back?" Clyde smugly asks Lincoln

"Didn't have one, I just raced down here as fast as possible." Lincoln responds

"Alright, class. Let's continue on with our psychoanalysis unit. Lincoln, I believe you have something to give me?" Mrs. Johnson asks

Lincoln walks up to her and gives her a large stack of homework.

"Good luck."

"Alright then, first, we'll continue to explore the- "

Mrs. Johnson's lecture is interrupted by the intercom suddenly becoming operational…

"Lincoln Loud, principal Huggins would like to see you in his office, now." The school's secretary, Cheryl, announces

Every student in Lincoln's class, with the exception of Clyde, let out a teasing "ooh". This denotes that everyone thinks Lincoln is in trouble. Considering that principal Huggins considers him a juvenile delinquent that disrupts the "sanctity of a formal education", this might not be far from the truth…Lincoln leaves Mrs. Johnson's classroom and heads down to the principal's office. He opens the door and sits down. An older man with a slightly receding hairline and a mustache turns to face him, he's wearing his signature dark-green jacket and sky-blue tie over a white t-shirt (You can hear his ominous theme in the background). This would be the principal of Royal Woods Elementary, Wilbur T. Huggins!

* * *

"Loud, I just have one thing to say…"

Lincoln is so afraid that Huggins is finally going to expel him for disrupting the learning environment.

"…welcome back."

"Huh?" Lincoln questions

"I just wanted to offer my condolences to your family."

"So, you **AREN'T** going to expel me?"

" **EXPEL YOU?!** " Principal Huggins says, flabbergasted "I may consider you a delinquent, Loud, but you haven't committed any offenses that would even come close to receiving expulsion! Usually, detention is more than enough to set you straight. Remember the Anura Insanity incident of March 14, 2017?"

"Anura insanity?"

"Yeah, you stole 50 frogs from the school and hid them with Lana. I gave you a week of detention of after I recovered them from your house. Although…I should have given you a DAY of detention and given Lana a WEEK, since it was HER plan, and you just went along with it. If your sister **HADN'T** shown me that heartstring pulling video she made, well…we'd be down 50 frogs. But hey, they would've died in the name of science, so it's ok!"

"Lana proved to you it **ISN'T** ok, though."

"Right, Loud. Now I expect great things from you. Mrs. Johnson told me you're one of her best students. That's all I have to say to you. Go back to class."

Lincoln leaves principal Huggins' office and heads back to class. It seems like he's a lot nicer ever since they worked together on that Ace Savvy fanfiction for a "meet the creator" contest. Who knew that the creator, Bill Buck, was principal Huggins' childhood hero? Lincoln and his sisters also got to meet Bill, but the experience was sort of diminished when Lola tried to work out some sort of merchandising deal with Bill concerning Lincoln's OC that he based off of her, the Queen of Diamonds. Speaking of Lola, we should see how she's doing.

Just like that depressed drifter drowning his sorrows with Flippee's™ at Flip's Food and Fuel said, the 1st grade has become less like a school and more like a prison. The students are inmates, the warden is the teacher, the gross food is well, prison food (though ironically, prison food tastes better than school food), the desks are jail cells and recess is "The Yard", so yeah, school has become prison for these first graders.

* * *

"Oh no, the Queen of Mean is back."

"As if we aren't miserable enough."

"There's no silver lining this time."

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

"I'm gonna make a jump for it."

One of the students tries to commit suicide by jumping out the window. It fails horribly because the window is made from reinforced plexiglass and the classroom is on the first floor, so even if they broke the window and escaped, a truancy officer would just arrest them and put them back in jail, I mean class.

"Class, we have a new student joining us today, everyone, this is Leif." The teacher said sweetly

"Hello, Leif." the students said in deadpan tone indicative of people who have lost the will to go on

"Why don't you sit next to Lola?" The teacher asks nicely

The boy agrees and sits next to Lola. He looks like the spitting image of Lana; The only difference is that his shirt is sky blue instead of sickly green like Lana's was. One of the students talks to him.

"You poor soul, you have to sit next to Lola Loud."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lola is known as the Queen of Mean by everyone in this school!"

"Really? But she looks so sad…"

"That's because her twin sister died recently."

"Oh…"

"We're sad that Lana's gone too. She made this place seem not so bad, even with Lola's tyranny over us."

"Kid, follow my advice, **AVOID LOLA**! She is **NOT** in the mood to talk. If you do…well, it was nice knowing you."

"Lola?" The teacher chimes in "Do you have your homework?"

Lola walks up and deposits a large stack of homework. She heads back to her desk.

"Alright, let's play a game of word association to raise your spirits! I say a word, and you say the first word that comes to mind, ready?" The teacher said, trying vainly to convince the students to persevere with school

The 12 students begin to ponder the word they're going to associate…

"School" The teacher said

"Prison"

"Hell"

"Suicide"

"Suffering"

"Torture"

"Tyranny"

"Confinement"

"Unappetizing"

"Misery"

"Pain"

"Melancholy" Lola states

"Friendship" Leif states

"Wow, Leif!" The teacher says, impressed "That was the only response that wasn't depressing!"

"Hey kid, since you feel that way, can you try to befriend Lola?" One of the students said in a mocking tone

The classroom bells ring, it's lunchtime! Yes, food that's somehow **WORSE** than prison food! Before Lola heads down to the cafeteria, Leif catches up with her.

* * *

"Hey, Lola…" Leif avers nervously

"Oh, new kid, it's you." Lola states solemnly "What do you want?"

"Do you want to be friends with me?" Leif asks

Lola is absolutely stunned! No one would **EVER** want to be her friend, especially with the way she acted towards them in the past. And yet, some random kid had enough bravery to walk up to **THE** Lola Loud and ask her something.

"…I don't know. I'm usually not this nice in person. I just need some time to myself." Lola responds

"I heard what the other kids were saying? You had a twin sister?"

"Yes."

"What was her name?"

…

"Lana"

"I had a twin brother too, his name was Lexx, he spelled it with 2 "x's" because he thought it would make him sound cooler. Actually… you kind of look like him."

"You kind of look like Lana, too. I was too preoccupied with other stuff to notice the teacher say your name, what was it?"

"Leif"

"Leaf? That sounds like a girl's name! But…ok, I won't judge you for it, nice to meet you, Leif."

"I don't want to sound like I'm trying to pry into your life or anything but…I'm curious…how did Lana die?"

Lola starts to cry. Apparently, Leif must have struck a nerve! He quickly tries to backpedal.

"If it's too traumatic for you, you don't have to tell me! I don't you to relive any painful memories! Look, I lost my twin too, so I thought I could help you overcome your grief!"

"You lost your twin too? How?"

"Accidental drowning. He wandered to the deep end of the pool, me and my older sister tried to revive him, but it was too late. I blamed myself for it for a time, but I realized there was nothing I could have done to prevent it." Leif explained "Alright, do you want to stop the conversation, because I can continue on if you want me to."

"Let's continue." Lola reassured him "Since you told me about your twin's death, I'll tell you about mine, it was a firecracker discharge."

"4th of July celebration gone horribly wrong?" Leif questions

"No, it happened on April 26."

"What happened?"

"I don't know! I just heard a bunch of explosions nearby, so I joined my siblings to find out what was going on, but our parents wouldn't tell us. I now know it was because they didn't want us to realize the awful truth. I had just reconciled with her just before it happened, too."

"I'm sorry, Lola. My brother, Lexx wanted to be an actor. He joined our previous school's drama club. He was pretty decent at it. I think he would have been content with any job in the film industry though, of course, the lead role was preferred, but he would take director and cinematographer, as well. Once, we had to help him finish a theater production. So, while he was fine-tuning his acting, me and Levi were working behind the scenes to make sure the film went smoothly. Levi taught me how to operate all the special effects and how to manipulate green screens in the background. The movie went well and Lexx got an A plus!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, what did Lana want to be when she grew up?"

"She had 3 choices, plumber, veterinarian and steamfitter. Lana always loved fixings things. So, repairing pipe infrastructure seemed like a good fit. Lana also loved animals, so being a vet seemed like a great choice. But, she also had a human anatomy book, I think she also had doctor in the back of her mind. Though, I don't think Lana would be patient enough to last through 12 years of med school…"

"I wouldn't underestimate her, I think she could've done it."

"Yeah, you're right. But what do YOU want to be when you grow up, Leif?"

"Well, I love being in nature and the great outdoors. I consider myself an outdoorsy adventurer. So maybe a park ranger or a trail guide. I also love helping people, so those 2 would probably be the best choices for me, now, what about you, Lola?"

"I possess a commanding aura and am great with people, so anything involving mass communications would seem like a good fit. But I also think I'm most likely going to be pursing something in the business field. So, putting 2 and 2 together, it seems like maybe marketing is the best fit for me." Lola ascertains to Leif

"Well, I look forward to seeing your creativity for whatever future company you decide to work in, Lola." Leif confidently states "Now, back to my original question: Do you want to be friends with me?"

"Yes…I'd love to be friends with you, Leif." Lola answered "So, shall we head to the cafeteria?"

"Sure" Leif responds back

* * *

 **Author's Note: When Lola says that Leaf is a girl's name, she's referencing the games Pokémon Firered and Pokémon Leafgreen, the generation 1 remakes. "Leaf" is the default name of the female protagonist in the remakes. They should have either changed her name to "Green", since the original protagonist from gen 1 was named "Red" by default, or change Red's name to "Fire", because "Leaf" is the name of the female protagonist in the remakes. Though, it would be weird calling Red "Fire". Lola could also be a human resources manager when she grows up, that would give her the authority to fire people, and we all know how much Lola Loud likes to be in control.**


	26. Sick Of It

**Chapter Synopsis: Lincoln and Lola team up to deal with some old enemies...**

* * *

Lola and Leif arrive at the school's cafeteria. While Leif splits up and gets some food, Lola walks over to where her brother, Lincoln, is sitting.

"So, Lola, how's your first day back?" Lincoln asks

"Great, I made a new friend today! What about you Linky? I heard you got sent to the principal's office! What did you do this time?"

"Don't worry about that, principal Huggins just welcomed me back to school." Lincoln responds

"I think things are starting to get back to normal!" Lola exclaims "The dreary aura suffocating the first grade has started to subside! People still hate school, but they're actually trying to at least get through the school day."

"I don't think anything could ruin this day!" Lincoln declares

* * *

Unfortunately, that tired cliché of saying "what could possibly go wrong" is still in effect. When Lincoln said that, 6 students surround him and Lola. An all too familiar voice echoes in his ears.

"Hey Larry! Long time no see! I missed having a verbal punching bag! Well, maybe if I train on you, I'll become a master manipulator like your sister. I could even be a politician when I grow up! They practically make money by doing absolutely nothing!" The leader of the group says

The leader is some burnt umber-haired punk that wears a green shirt with a cog on it. He also has freckles on his face like Lincoln does. This would be the Loud House's version of _Gary Oak_ , it's none other than Chandler! Chandler's posse consists of the 5 kids that mocked Lincoln's crush on Ronnie Anne in the episode "Save The Date". The fat kid that wears a green jacket and has orange-brownish hair carries a boombox, just like the time when Chandler invited everyone except Lincoln and Clyde to his birthday party at the sewage treatment plant where his dad works. He hits the play button and suddenly, _P_ _okémon Trainer Blue's_ encounter theme from Pokémon Sun and Moon plays.

"What do **YOU** want, Chandler?" Lincoln asks in a cynical tone, knowing that Chandler is pretty much his arch nemesis at school!

* * *

"I just want to take a picture of the cute couple." He snaps a picture of Lincoln and Lola together "Now to send it to the internet, and watch all THOSE people…well, say some things that would probably get them on an FBI watch list."

Chandler posts the picture with the caption "I love my girlfriend, we're going out on our 3rd date tonight."

Immediately, half of the people responding are saying something like "Dude, isn't that your sister, gross?!" and the other half are saying stuff like "My man, you scored! I wish I could snag a girlfriend that beautiful!" And then there's the vocal minority that are sad horny losers living in their mother's basement saying "Aw man, this anime is better than _Cory In The House_ , I can't wait for the sex scene! Because that's CLEARLY why people watch anime and NOT for the plot (sarcasm).

"I just assassinated your reputation, what are you going to do about it?!" Chandler arrogantly states

"This." Lincoln posts a comment on Chandler's original post. The comment said: "This image was taken out of context by a douchebag in my school named Chandler. It's just a picture of me and Lola together, Chandler only said that to destroy my reputation. I would never commit incest. That is all."

In an instant, everyone turns on Chandler, spewing hate messages at him. Saying things like "How could you do that?" or "You're a douchebag, Chandler!" People are also coming to Lincoln's defense by saying "I'm with Lincoln and Lola." or "Down with Chandler!" or "Best sibling pairing ever!". One of those vocal minorities, a man with the username LoudcestOkatu69 said this: "Aw man, the picture's fake? It's a lie, just like my entire life? Oh well, I'll just watch Cory In The House again, it's the best anime ever, anyway.

One of Chandler's cronies, a kid with a sky-blue shirt and blue hat leaves. Chandler confronts him.

Dude, where are you going? You're supposed to help me haze Larry!"

"Sorry, but I don't really care."

* * *

The kid leaves. Chandler lets out a frustrated groan. "Ok, you! Grab his precious sister! He'll surrender to us if we threaten her!"

The kid with square glasses, a purple jacket and a yellow-green striped shirt attempts to grab Lola. She dodges and kicks his ass without even getting hit once! He wisely runs away, probably to tell principal Huggins about this, or maybe he'll just hide, since a girl beat him up, although that "girl" WAS Lola, and people know how dangerous she is…

"Anyone else?!" Lola taunts at Chandler

The kid with the yellow shirt tries next, he gets intercepted by Leif before he even gets close to Lola.

"Don't try it kid. You hurt my friend and I'll hurt YOU!" Leif threatens, Lola is touched that Leif would risk his life to defend HER!

The kid wets himself and runs away. Chandler's main "friends" and Chandler himself are the only ones left. Lola reassures Leif that she can handle herself. Leif nods in understanding and leaves. Chandler tries desperately to get under Lincoln's skin so he can derive some sadistic instant gratification through his misery.

* * *

"Well, my dad is richer than your dad!" Chandler mocks, even he knows that was weak

"Working at a sewage treatment plant? That sure is a shitty situation!" Lincoln shot back, Luan would be proud of that pun. Chandler's face is flush with anger and embarrassment. Lola gives Lincoln a high five for standing up for himself. Chandler's cronies laugh at the joke. Chandler blows up in their faces.

 **"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!"** Chandler bellows at them

"Jeez dude, calm down!" The fat kid responds

"Yeah man, even if it was an insult, you have to admit it was a pretty good comeback." The kid with black hair, braces and a red hoodie explained to him. Chandler is too furious to acknowledge his point.

 **"DON'T COMPLIMENT THE ENEMY!"** Chandler yelled at them **"ALRIGHT LARRY, I WILL BREAK YOU! YOUR "PACIFISM ACT" WON'T LAST MUCH LONGER!"**

"Why don't you just beat him up, just to get him off your back?" Lola questions

"Trust me, Lola. I would love to wipe his smug grin off the face of the planet, but that's illegal, both in school and in the world, even if it's self-defense and he's provoking me; If I fight him, he could charge me with assault…"

* * *

 **"IT'S A SHAME LANA ISN'T HERE TO PROTECT YOU, LARRY! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"** Chandler decries enthusiastically

Lola notices that Lincoln has his hands balled up in fists. He has a look of pure hatred on his face…

"Linky…"

 **"FIGHT ME, YOU DIRTY SISTER KILLER! MAYBE I CAN GET VENGANCE FOR HER!"** Chandler continues to deride Lincoln. His cronies run off, they know that all hell is about to break loose, and they want none of it, no matter what Chandler bribes them with, they aren't staying.

 **"YOU GUYS TOO?! COWARDS!"** Chandler screams at them

"Sorry Chandler, but you went too far this time." The fat kid states

"Yeah man, mocking his dead sister, what is wrong with you?!" The kid in the red hoodie says, calling out what a horrible person Chandler really is

"We can't support someone that evil, no matter how much awesome stuff you bribe us with!"

"And Lincoln's kind of right, you ARE a douchebag, and we've always kind of hated you." The kid in the red hoodie has a point. Even though the 3 of them manipulated Lincoln into getting free stuff for them (even if Lincoln DID give that stuff to them willingly, he only did it to get into Chandler's party). Chandler backstabbed them when he stole their tickets to get that ukulele that cost 500!

[Chandler and his posse are playing skeeball and Chandler only gets two tickets]

"Two tickets? Oh, man. I really wanted that ukulele, but it costs 500. Guys, gimme yours."

[Chandler's friends reluctantly hand him their tickets; as he counts them, he sees it's not enough for the ukulele]

"That's all you've got?"

* * *

The last of Chandler's cronies leave. It's just Chandler and Lincoln now…and poor Lola has to watch.

 **"SO, COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU- "** Chandler is interrupted by a strong punch to the ribcage. The assailant is none other than Lincoln, who's finally had enough of Chandler's bullying, years of verbal abuse, being manipulated into giving all that free stuff to him and his so-called friends at the expense of his oldest sister…it was all leading up to this! Chandler mocking Lana's death…that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The Death Cap has made itself known…

"So, you decide to fight back, Larry?" Chandler notes "How noble…foolish, but noble, well then, hit me with your best shot!"

"Gladly!" Lincoln responds

Chandler tries to punch Lincoln, but Lincoln dodges and uppercuts Chandler right in the jaw! He reels back in pain. Lincoln continues his assault on his tormentor. 3 jabs to his upper chest, which dented his sternum, a fierce left hook to his femur and a right hook to the ribs, Lincoln actually managed to cause a small fracture in one of them! Chandler counters trying to throw a flurry of jabs at him, but Lincoln blocks and dodges each one. He grabs one of Chandler's punches and headbutts him, Chandler falls over, and is at Lincoln's mercy!

"Heh heh, fine. You win, I won't bully you anymore." Chandler states weakly

"I know you won't." Lincoln says in his normal voice

Chandler falls unconscious, Lincoln delivers a hard kick to his groin!

"That was for mocking Lana." Lincoln avows to the unconscious sadist. But…who's the sadist now?

* * *

Lola is shocked at how easily Lincoln just destroyed that guy. Note to self, stop trying to piss off Lincoln, he can be very terrifying if you push his buttons the wrong way! Lincoln approaches her…he's still covered in Chandler's blood.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Lincoln states sullenly "I just couldn't let him mock our sister's death like that."

"Is he dead?" Lola questions

"No, he's just lost consciousness. Now let's get out of here."

Before they leave, the kid who got destroyed by Lola earlier comes back and principal Huggins is right behind him.

* * *

"That's them sir, those are the bullies that were hazing us!" The kid said, sounding like a snitch

He notices unconscious Chandler lying in a pool of his own blood.

"OH, MY GOD! CHANDLER!" The kid goes to his body

"So, I assume you 2 have something to do with this." principal Huggins said as he approached the 2 Loud siblings

Principal Huggins notices Lincoln, covered with bloodstains.

"Yeah, Loud, to my office, NOW! Kid, bring Chandler to the nurse's office and when he comes to, I'll question him, but for now, you 2, with me!" Principal Huggins said in an authoritarian manner

* * *

The scene changes to Lola and Lincoln in principal Huggins' office.

"Loud, do you mind telling me what happened?" Principal Huggins said in an annoyed manner, as one could tell by him pinching the bridge of his nose

"We were just minding our own business when Chandler started harassing us with his posse!" Lola exclaimed to the principal "He tried to destroy our online reputations, he had that kid that tattled on us try to grab me!"

"So, Chandler was the one that started it?" Principal Huggins questions, his curiosity piqued

"Yes sir." Lincoln avers "He tried provoking us multiple times just for the sake of getting under our skin, I managed to resist twice, but that third thing he tried…well, that was the breaking point."

"What could he have possibly done to warrant you beating him up?"

"He mocked my sister's death."

Principal Huggins is taken aback, he knows Chandler's always been kind of a jerk, but to resort to mocking someone's death?! Wow.

"Please, principal Huggins, Linky wouldn't fight back unless he's pushed to the absolute limit! We both know that he wouldn't normally hurt a fly!" Lola pleaded to him, hoping to show that Chandler was the instigator in that situation

"Lincoln, I sympathize with your plight, I really do. But I can't just let this slide. You did beat up another student (even if he totally had it coming and deserved it), so, as punishment, you are hereby suspended from school for 3 days, until this situation blows over." Principal Huggins explained "I'll call your parents and let them know about this."

Lola and Lincoln slightly reel back from fear when he said that…but they accept the punishment. Lincoln gets escorted home, while Lola, Lucy and Lisa finish their school day. Once the parents pick them up and everyone is back at the house, Lola tells them everything that happened. Lincoln was grounded, but his parents and siblings lauded him for defending himself as well as his sister's honor from that arrogant prick. Lola sequesters herself in her room and begins working on something…night falls on the first day back from school, it did not go as well as anyone expected…oh well, sweet dreams, Loud family…sweet dreams…

* * *

 **Author's Note: I know Cory In The House isn't an anime, I'm making fun of the people who do, in good fun, of course. Also, I re-watched the episode Making The Grade and found out that the kid that Lola beat up is actually in Lincoln's class! The title is a play on words; See, if you say sycophant (pronounced: sicko-fant) really fast, it sounds like the phrase "sick of it".**


	27. The Guilty Party

**Chapter Synopsis: We see the dreams of 5 certain Loud House siblings**

* * *

We see that even their dreams are plagued by this tragedy, horrible nightmares are occurring! Only five of the Loud siblings have them…perhaps they are subconsciously having a hard time accepting it? Well, we will go in order from youngest to oldest. The first of these 5? It's Lisa…although her dream is the least nightmarish, its source material's inception was nightmare inducing (well, the first part, anyway. Thankfully, this dream is based on the second part). We delve into Lisa's dream…it seems that she has an arduous climb ahead of her, as she is at the bottom of the famed Mount Purgatorio. Also, since the source material was originally in Italian, the characters in the dream only speak Italian, however, the author can still describe the climb of travails in English.

Lisa begins the climb and ascends the mountain, at the first terrace (there are 10 of them, but the first 2 and the last one (The Earthly Paradise) do not count) she meets Luan on this terrace, the terrace of the excommunicate. They begin a friendly dialogue.

"Perche ' sono qui?" Lisa asked

"Il vostro sogno è un'allegoria. Salire la montagna e meglio voi stessi passando attraverso le sette porte di pentimento e incontrare il nostro fratello in cima!" Luan responded

After gaining this valuable knowledge, Lisa says goodbye to Luan and continues upward, skipping the terrace of the late repentant, because even though Lily keeps watch over this terrace, all of the Loud siblings still have plenty of time in the real world! She makes it to the third terrace, the terrace of the prideful! Lisa sees Lana and immediately heads over to her.

"Lana, perche ' sei sulla terrazza di chi ha ceduto alla loro arroganza?" Lisa questioned in disbelief, how could one who sacrificed her life for her family be prideful in any way?!

"Perché io rappresento la virtù celeste che è opposto di hubris, umiltà." Lana clarified

"Allora, quale sfida fare io hanno a completare?"

"Sono contento che hai chiesto! Devi portare questo blocco di alluminio dall'estremità orientale della terrazza dove siamo ora a ovest, dove si trova il cancello di pentimento."

"Facile!" Lisa exclaimed. She takes the block of aluminum and starts to race across the terrace. But it seems like the block is getting heavier and heavier the closer Lisa gets to the gate!

"Dal momento che ti piace scienza così tanto, io usato nella tua prova! Il si ulteriori tu ottieni, la gravità diventa più pesante e più pesante, fino il peso vicino al cancello diventa come pesante come il Giove pianeta!" Lana clarified. Lisa is already at the patch of land where it has Jupiter gravity. Lisa struggles to even move the block (which is 4 pounds, but feels like 9.36 pounds in Jupiter gravity) Eventually, after slowly and painfully walking forward, she walks through the gate and drops the block on the other side, which has Earth gravity again, Lana is waiting for her nearby.

"L'hai fatta! Hai superato attraverso il primo cancello! E questa è la prova più difficile, così si dovrebbe essere orgoglioso di te stesso... forse assicurarsi tu non finisce qui dietro. Comunque, la schiena dovrebbe essere dolorante dopo di che. Perché non prendere una breve pausa, poi proseguire su per la montagna, quando sei pronto?" Lana advised. Lisa agrees, it took 2 hours just to slog through the Jupiter gravity patch of the trial. Lisa rests for about 30 minutes and continues onward to the fourth terrace, the terrace of the envious!

"Invidia? Oh no..." Lisa is now worried. Her trek might end here, the sin of envy is what Lisa's experiencing now! She was kind of jealous that Lana was always helping Lincoln, but it's not like Lisa asked Lana to hang out with her, she would probably be more than happy to! Lisa walks forward and a shadow runs into her and knocks her glasses off, Lisa walks forward and accidently steps on them, breaking them.

"Riesci a sentirmi?" A kindly female voice shouted from…somewhere on the 4th terrace "Basta seguire le mie istruzioni e si otterrà attraverso il cancello, nessun problema."

"Andare a destra."

Lisa follows the orders and begins walking right.

"Girare a nord, quindi proseguire in avanti."

Lisa makes a 90° clockwise turn and heads northward.

"Ok, c'è un mostro dall'aspetto raggedy avanti. Smettere di muoversi, sarà attaccher se ti sente. Ora, attendere il cue uditivo da me dirti quando la sua sicura."

Lisa stops in front of it. The monster snarls at her. Lisa remains still. The monster is still trying to sense any audio cues…It doesn't hear anything and wanders off to another part of the terrace.

"L'obiettivo è direttamente di fronte a voi. Continuare a piedi avanti fino a quando senti la fanfara. Questo sarà lasciar tu so che ti hai completato la prova."

Lisa walks forward until she hears the fanfare. She has completed the trial! Leni is beside the gate with a present for her.

"Potrebbe essere necessario questi indietro." Leni cautioned to Lisa. She gives her a spare pair of Lisa's glasses, she puts them on and can see clearly again. Lisa thanks Leni and heads upward, next is the fifth terrace, the terrace of the wrathful! Lisa sees that nothing is stopping her from just running through the 3rd repentance gate. She makes a mad dash across the terrace, but it becomes blindingly obvious that there's still a trial here…

"Ah! Acido solforico gassoso!" Lisa exclaimed "Brucia!"

"Fatto ti davvero che sarebbe stato cosi ' facile?" A voice mocked her

It sure is a good thing this is just a dream, otherwise Lisa would probably be horribly disfigured after this trial! After feeling the burn, Lisa passes through the third gate, all the acid burns are healed, but just to be sure, Lisa is hosed down, just to get rid of any trace acid. Lisa then ascends up to the sixth terrace, the terrace of the slothful! Unfortunately for her, Lynn Jr is there, and she knows what that means…

"Questo versione dell prova è quello di battere me in uno sport, di qualsiasi tipo si sceglie. Non importa, poiché io sono il migliore a tutti loro!" Lynn challenged

"Va bene, io sfido ad una partita di scacchi, poi!" Lisa declared

"Che cosa? Ma che non è uno sport! Non c'è nessuna attività fisica negli scacchi! Ma se sei così insistente su questo, giocheremo scacchi viventi! tutti i pezzi saranno persone reali! Vedo l'ora di esso! Ora, che la sfida abbia inizio!"

The human chess match begins! We see a super sped up montage of all the plays, but I'll just tell you Lisa won…but Lynn did manage to capture a rook, both bishops, a knight and the queen, as well as 5 pawns! So, it was a hard-fought victory.

"Congratulazioni! Riconosco la vostra diligenza. Hai il permesso di passare attraverso il cancello. Potrei dover includere scacchi come uno sport ora... Io sarà sfida ad una rivincita in prossima volta che torni qui! Attendo con ansia!" Lynn exclaims as Lisa head through the gate and climbs further up Mount Purgatorio. She is halfway there, there are only three trials left. Next terrace is number seven, the terrace of the avaricious…but…none of the Loud siblings could be considered greedy or generous, all of them are flawed in this way (come on, have you seen any of the Loud siblings NOT be selfish even ONCE (and Lily doesn't count, because she's a baby))? The punishment is what is called the Anticovet. Basically, what you coveted in life, is turned against you. Using Lori as an example, she covets her cellphone, so the Anticovet makes it so that Bobby calls Lori nonstop, until she gives up something in return (in this case, time wasted). So, she'll just have to endure this.

"Così come fatto tu ottieni questo lontano? Che cosa desiderare? Riconoscimento per i vostri successi? Ok, penso fare nostro Anticovet può fare che! Che la prova di avidità abbia inizio!" Said a voice on the opposite end of the 7th terrace. The Anticovet machine is activated, and Lisa is subjected to her desire…though, there's always a catch…

"Come lei scappata punizione per così tanto tempo?"

"Questi "experiments" sono atrocità!"

"Per non parlare di immorale…"

"Beh, lei ottenuto il suo riconoscimento…"

"Ora lei più pericoloso criminale in Italia! E pensare lei voleva aiutare la gente!"

Lisa manages to ignore the voices and pass through the seventh gate. The Anticovet is off, and Luna stands behind it

"Beh, che stato perspicace. Allora, pensi che si potrà sperimentando su qualsiasi più soggetti di prova? Sono loro vite pena qualsiasi meno di nostro proprio?"

Lisa ignores her and climbs the to the eighth terrace, the terrace of the gluttonous! Suddenly, Lisa begins to feel…starving! Like she could emaciate away from starvation soon! A piece of mutton is tied to a string and the smell wafts from the south, where the stairs to the greed trial are. The gate is directly ahead, but how can someone so hungry avoid the tantalizing odor of meat?!

"Così, sarà ti soffrire o soccombere? Tu quanto tempo tu durerà? Il sazietà sarà essere dimmisionarie temporaneamente. Quanto controllo avete? Questo ciò che io, Temperanza, determinerà, in questo momento. Iniziare la prova."

Lisa begins to proceed toward the gate. The further she gets however; the hunger pangs intensify. But no, she MUST resist, this is the second to last repentance gate. A few feet away, but the pain is so severe that it would cause a normal person to LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS. Just before that happens, Lisa crosses through the gate. The feeling of starvation subsides completely. Lisa proceeds to ascend to the final trial. Terrace 9, the terrace of the lascivious! Lola is standing near a wall of fire.

"Lola, che cosa stai facendo?!" Lisa exclaimed

"La finale sfida, per purificare se stessi dal peccato di lussuria, é a bagno soli in queste fiamme!" Lola explained "Ma, anche come la rappresentazione della castità, che è l'opposto della lussuria, ho ancora paura loro...le fiamme della passione bruciare così luminoso, che calore da un surriscaldato quasar impallidisce in confronto!"

"Ci andremo insieme. Su tre, uno... due... tre!" Lisa grabs Lola and both of the charge through the literal firewall! Both of them made it through unscathed! More firewalls become activated!

"Che non dovrebbe doveva succedere! Il software di anti-peccatore di castità deve essere corrotto! Firewalls sono fuori controllo! Io non riesco hack il programma a girare a spento!" Lola declares

"Stiamo solo andando di dover interrompere, goccia e rotolare attraverso tutti i firewall!" Lisa explains. Lisa and Lola rush through the firewalls, they make it through the final repentance gate. Lisa has now cleared the virtuous trials of Mount Purgatorio! She climbs the steps onto the final terrace, the apex of the mountain, The Earthly Paradise! At the top is Lincoln. He turns to her.

"l'hai fatta, hai superato te stesso." He says. Suddenly, seven pieces of ice emerge from Lisa, seven fires also emerge from Lincoln. "Hai eliminato l'inceppo i tuoi peccati e abbracciato le virtù passando attraverso tutte le cancellos del pentimento. Non c'è niente sinistra per te qui. Ora, tu riesco utilizzare tua nuovoritrovata conoscenza per migliorare la vita degli altri, troppo!" The fires, each representing a virtue, melt the ice, which corresponds to their sin. Lisa's dream has ended, next we move on to Lola…

* * *

Lola is dreaming about the time she and Lana used to play _Super Smash Bros. Melee_ on the Gamecube. Lola is currently playing a round of Classic mode on Very Hard difficulty (because she's a total badass at this game) and manages to get all the way to Final Destination! It took about 2 years of intense training for Lola to get this good, Lana is also pretty amazing, but Lola is a slightly better Melee player! Lola hears the evil laughter of the _Master Hand_ , she knows…it's go time!

"Time to show the Master 360 degrees of pain!" Lola announced

The battle starts out like all Master Hand battles, Lola whittles his health down to 170 HP and suddenly, _Crazy Hand_ enters the battle. The fight continues but this time…Master Hand is suddenly back at 360 HP! It's as if he's taken 0 damage the entire duration of the fight! Master Hand's theme from Smash 4 starts to play. Master Hand and Crazy Hand even do a fistbump! That's something they only do in Smash 4!

"What is going on?!" Lola cried out

The hands respond by double-drilling the arena! Lola manages to deal 48 damage to Crazy and 13 damage to Master, Lola however, takes 64 damage!

Master hand locks on to Lola and enters his gun form, he fires 3 yellow bullets, while Crazy Hand drops bombs on Lola's last position. Lola shields herself from the bullets and deals 82 damage to Crazy Hand.

The hands put Lola to sleep and applaud…with her stuck in the middle, Lola is sent offscreen (-1 stock).

"Let's all give a round of applause to my sister, Lola." A voice said, it sounds similar to Lana's…

Master and Crazy Hand's attacks speed up, Crazy Hand tears a fabric in the space-time continuum, Lola gets sucked into the spatial anomaly and takes massive damage, Master Hand grabs her and crushes the life out of her once she gets back onto the arena. If this weren't a video game, she'd be dead! She takes about 180% damage and rockets off the screen (-1 stock).

"Seriously?!" Lola said exasperatedly "That combination attack was only in _Smash 4_! Why are they doing it in Melee?!"

"I miss playing with my sister…"

"Don't worry, Lana, I'm sure she misses playing with you too."

"Aw! You're really good at this game! Thanks for teaching me how to play, Linc!"

"Did Lola challenge you to another competition?"

"Yeah, but now that I know how to play, I can win against her!"

Lola is down to her last stock. Master Hand tries to punch her, but she sidestep-dodges out of the way, Lola begins pounding on Master Hand! Crazy Hand does a laser attack! Lola takes 12% damage but Master Hand took about 83 damage! Crazy Hand begins to spasm uncontrollably, like it's having a seizure! Lola gets entrapped by the convulsing hand while Master Hand launches another drill attack! Lola takes more damage and is at about 120% now! Lola vainly attempts to beat up Master Hand and manages to lower him to 174 HP… and the glove tears itself open while Crazy Hand vanishes out of existence! A bunch of shadowy-static like objects form a humanoid creature, it's first attack? To cover its "head" and send out a massive shockwave to blast Lola offscreen!

"Are you kidding me?!" Lola has had just about enough of this "I have to fight the _**MASTER CORE**_?!"

The Master Giant reels its "head" back in pain and "screams" this:

"Lincoln, it's 3 o' clock! You've failed me! You know what happens when you make Lola mad!"

* * *

Lola gets blasted offscreen, despite trying to air-dodge the shockwave. Lola loses her last life. The dream is just her multiple attempts and failures at this ridiculous challenge! Now let's get to the meat and potatoes of this chapter. Lynn Jr's nightmare! It starts at Undertale's New Home. Lynn is exploring Asgore's house when the story of the Underground is told. Though…this story doesn't seem quite right…

"11 years ago, a boy was born into the Loud house…"

"His sisters belittled the poor child, all except one…"

"On that day, they all saw him as a living good luck charm…"

"All of them, except for her…"

"The sister vowed to her brother that she will clear his name…"

"She was the only one that cared for him at that time…."

"Through her efforts, 8 members of their family realized their mistake…"

"But one day…"

"Dysfunction spread all across the house…"

"Despite all of this, the sister still persevered…"

"It was all for her beloved brother, after all…"

"But, there was still one who didn't want her brother happy…"

"April 26…"

"The day his light was extinguished…"

"She had recruited two more members that day…"

"Her brother was so happy…"

"He felt like…an actual family member again…"

"She reconciled with her twin…"

"The 2 twin sisters had become closer than ever before…"

"But something sinister was working in the shadows…"

"The sister was helping one of her own…"

"When suddenly, cracks of sound deafened the night sky…"

"The yellow one, her protector…"

"She saw their precious younger sister charred and bloodied…"

"Under their father's advice, she stayed with her until the end…"

"She stayed with her…"

"She tried to save her life…"

"But…"

"It was no use…"

"Even as the doctor tried to save her…"

"Her last words…"

"Were for us to be a family again…"

"After a tearful goodbye…"

"The electrocardiogram flatlined…"

"The light has faded…"

"The Louds had lost their 4th youngest…"

"Raindrops deluged on the week that followed…"

"It seemed as though even god himself was crying…"

"Her brother decided to end our suffering…"

"We can move on from this tragedy…"

"It won't be long now…"

"Lincoln will be our guiding light…"

"Luna will quell the dysfunction…"

"Luan will make sure no one gets hurt again…"

"You should be smiling, too?"

"Aren't you excited?"

"Aren't you happy?"

"We're going to be free…"

* * *

Lynn Jr goes over to _Asriel_ and _Chara's_ room and opens the presents. She equips the items and heads forward. Church bells are ringing in the gilded hall. Strange, isn't there supposed to a bad pun telling blue hoodie wearing skeleton here? Oh well, Lynn proceeds forward while a haunting melody echoes down the judgement hall. It sounds so familiar, yet feels so different, a female sings a melody.

"Why are you here, is it for pleasure?"

"Or is it to prove you were better?"

"Enjoying our last view in abject splendor…"

"Shredding our bonds and make them sever…"

"Playing by all the rules…"

"All while you are being cruel…"

"You committed sororide, but I am not a fool!"

"Betrayal is your worst crime…"

"A sister, a brother, a family…"

"Come on now, Lynn, just admit your mistake…"

"Killing me will just make our family break…"

"We are not alone…"

"Raining judgement on you, so that you'll atone."

"All for your siblings and mine…"

"Tell me, Lynn, why do you think killing is fine?!"

"Help is what you need right now…"

"Forgo our fight and I will vow…"

"Understand, that your problem won't go away…"

"Lincoln…he won't be your prey."

"Let us…go back."

"How hard is it…to not…attack?"

"Knives flying all around…"

"Intending to not make a sound…"

"Lower your guard, and I'll kill you…"

"Lateral shots piercing through."

"Remember when this was all a game?"

"All the lives lost, those that you have slain?"

"Going to continue, for 15 minutes of fame?"

"Enjoy your last moments kid, because you'll be maimed!"

Lynn gets ambushed and murdered by a thin shadow! The nightmare restarts and Lynn is tied up, Luan is standing over her wearing a lab coat.

* * *

"You know, Lisa was really distraught over Lana's death." Luan said "She gave me some chemicals to make sure the person who committed this crime would suffer. So, pick your poison…"

Lynn shakes her head side to side frantically!

"Oh, you want me to pick for you? Ok, how about this one?" Luan takes out a vial of clear liquid "Protoanemonin…one of my personal favorites, because it's associated with my favorite flower, the buttercup."

Luan injects the poison into Lynn. She starts to suffer its effects!

"Do you want to know why my nickname is "Repens"? It's because I'll make you _reap_ the seeds that you've sown. What am I talking about? The seeds of discord, of course! Enjoy your last minutes of life, Lynn, because this poison is one of the worst ways to die."

* * *

Luan leaves, the nightmare abruptly ends. The 4th nightmare, we enter Lori's dreamscape and surprisingly, there isn't trace of Bobby anywhere! Instead we see that Lincoln, Leni and Lana are traversing a snowy mountain at night, following the yellow crystals through the blizzard. They get to a clearing in the snowfield, when suddenly, a sword wielding machine ambushes them! Upon closer inspection, the "swords" it's holding are dual glaives!

"It's the DEFECT model!"

"Let's turn it into scrap!"

The pile of junk easily knocks them away, Lincoln drops a red sword…the model flies over and grabs it!

"As if I would just let you attack me! You can't hurt me without this sword! It's time…" the chest plate opens up revealing the pilot, they grab the sword and activate it. The life draining effect it has is hurting the person. "to cut you down to size!"

"It can't be!"

"Lori?!"

"Don't try to wield that sword, it hurts anyone who uses it!"

"Well, it's time to show you the true power of this blade!"

"Monado Purge!"

Lincoln, Leni and Lana's Arts have been sealed!

"And just for added insurance, GAIUS DEFECT, attack!"

The machine readies itself and attacks the trio.

We observe the battle. Lincoln cannot win against the GAIUS DEFECT and Lori at the same time. No matter what options he tries, he is doomed to fail. After 10 failed attempts, Lori tries to pity him, but the nightmare forces her to be as ruthless and bloodthirsty as _Mumkhar_! She has to relieve the pain of slaughtering her siblings over and over and over, for 8 hours! This is the true pain of Lori's nightmare, she KNOWS she's the villain and can't do anything about it…finally we peek at Lincoln's dream. It seems we head back to the Undertale universe as Lincoln is about to be killed by the Trinity of Violence, when Lana interferes and saves him.

* * *

"Let me deal with them! Save yourself, Lincoln!" Lana begged him. Lincoln heeds her advice and runs off, leaving Lana to deal with the Trinity…"

Lana begs the Trinity members to stop!

They nod sadly…

Lori attacks!

Lynn Jr attacks!

Lola attacks!

Lana takes 4068 damage!

Lana pleads with them to spare Lincoln…

 **BUT NOBODY HEARD…**

Lori attacks!

Lynn Jr attacks!

Lola attacks!

Lana takes 8136 damage!

Lana nods…and smiles sadly…

Lori tried to plead with Lynn!

Nothing happened…

Lola tried to plead with Lynn!

Nothing happened…

Lynn Jr attacks!

Lana takes 999 damage!

Lana fades away…

Lincoln's voice is heard.

"Lana, please… wake up… this is all just a bad dream!"

"You're going to be alright, stay determined!"

* * *

 **Author's Note: The dreams all represent different materials, Purgatorio for Lisa, Undertale for Lynn Jr and Lincoln, Smash Bros. for Lola and Xenoblade Chronicles for Lori. But it also represents their repressed feelings. Lisa is trying to atone for her sins, Lola and Lincoln both have survivor's guilt, Lori feels like a murderous animal and Lynn's own subconscious is telling her she's a horrible person! Now onto the dreams themselves.**

 **Lisa's dream: the terraces of Mount Purgatorio have different punishments when compared to the original. Here are the differences:**

 **Terrace 1; Excommunicate: No punishment (both)  
** **Terrace 2; Late Repentant: Waiting around until God deems you worthy (Dante), no punishment (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 3; Pride: walk around with a rock on your back (Dante), carry a block of aluminum through different gravity fields (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 4; Envy: vision is obscured by both a grey cloak and having your eyes sewn shut (Dante), having your glasses break/becoming temporarily blind and having to be guided by a stranger (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 5; Wrath: vision blinded by acrid smoke (Dante), navigating your way through a field of gaseous sulfuric acid (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 6; Sloth: run laps (Dante), beat Lynn Jr in a competition (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 7; Greed: pray to God for eternity while lying face-down (Dante); The Anticovet (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 8; Gluttony: food always out of reach (Dante), walk to the other end while having immense hunger pangs severe enough to make you lose consciousness, meat is tied to a string heading backwards, try to eat it and you go down a floor (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 9; Lust: pass through a wall of fire (Dante), pass through many firewalls (Lisa)  
** **Terrace 10; The Earthly Paradise: None, all sins are purged here (both)**

 **The Anticovet on terrace 7 makes you experience your dreams come true, but at a cost, here's how the Anticovet will affect each Loud sibling:**

 **Lily: Can talk, but in a language the person doesn't know; If the person is multilingual, then she can't speak in either of the languages  
** **Lisa: Becomes well know through the scientific community and is recognized...for all her unethical experiments; She gets exiled, anywhere she goes  
** **Lola: Has the beauty of a goddess, but only animals see her like that  
** **Lana: Fixes everything she touches, and it even works better than normal, but it breaks down soon after  
** **Lucy: Is recognized as a master poet...after her death  
** **Lincoln: Wanted some alone time; Now he's the only person left on Earth  
** **Lynn Jr: Is number 1; because everyone else is gone  
** **Luan: Becomes funny, because someone is spraying nitrous oxide at her performances  
** **Luna: Is famous...to only garage bands in Britain  
** **Leni: Everyone is talking about her designs; As what NOT to do when making clothes  
** **Lori: Can't stop talking to Bobby; Now, Bobby won't stop calling her**

 **Originally, Lisa was supposed to go through the 9th circle of Hell and pass through the 4 rounds of betrayal. It was abandoned because Lisa isn't nearly terrible enough to deserve this, so it was changed to ascending mount Purgatorio instead. Here is what the original idea was.**

 **Round 1: Caina: Lisa encounters Lola, who doesn't seem to do anything, upon closer inspection, you see the mutilated corpses of both Lincoln and Lana, as well as seeing Lola's gloves drenched with blood! All she does is cry and profusely apologize, saying things like "I'm sorry" or "It's all my fault" or "It's because of me you're dead". Lisa might be psychologically scarred, but nothing physical would have happened to her.  
** **Round 2: Antenora: Lisa encounters Lynn, who attacks her in a frenzied bloodlust! Lisa would have needed to use her quick wits, and Xenoblade style arts, to survive and defeat the incarnation of hatred that manifested into their sister's image.  
** **Round 3: Ptolomea: Lisa encounters Lori, who has invited her over for a meal. The meal she gives Lisa is poisoned! She can either eat it and die, or refuse, but violate the honor code of sacred hospitality, and suffer a fate worse than death. Lisa has to re-offer the food back to the incarnation of trickery, doing so passes its secret test of character and will allow Lisa to head to the final area.  
** **Round 4: Judecca: Lisa comes face to face with the beast guarding Lincoln at the end of the arduous journey. It's none other than Satan himself! The heads representing real life people are replaced with Lisa (because she doesn't believe in god) and Leni (who has the best of intentions, but leads everyone around her to ruin, by accident). Lisa has to fight the tri-headed chimera of sin, Final Fantasy style, to rescue Lincoln from hell, but the catch is that all of the attacks are in Italian, so if you don't know the language, it'll be hard to figure out what the attacks do.**

* * *

 **Lola's dream: I said it earlier, she has survivor's guilt and wants to be punished for causing everything to happen.**

* * *

 **Lynn Jr's dream: Look closely at the lyrics to the song, do you notice anything? Also, in the 3rd part of her dream, Luan can dress up as each of the Loud siblings, which way she dresses dictates how she's going to kill Lynn.**

 **Lori: Accelerant is poured around Lynn, Luan pulls out a phone and dares Lynn to call for help, when she does, the lithium ion battery in the phone overheats and explodes, lighting the accelerant on fire and immolating Lynn, shouldn't have used a Galaxy Note 7...  
** **Leni: A Rube Goldeberg-esque contraption made of deadly weapons is triggered, Lynn becomes a macabre painting Lucy would love, no wonder she's called the "Mad Artist"  
** **Luna: Plays a guitar hooked up to an infrasound producing machine, the sound kills Lynn instantly  
** **Luan: Just uses powers she got from sans, she uses his gravity manipulation powers to make her heart implode on itself  
** **Lynn Jr: She gives a no holds barred beatdown to her  
** **Lincoln: The worst one, she leaves Lynn all alone, tied up in a room, she'll die from dehydration in 3 days, the only way pacifism can be used to kill someone...let nature do it for you. The technical term for this is immurement, meaning execution by starvation or dehydration. In this case, it's dehydration  
** **Lucy: Using an infrasound machine played at exactly 18.98 hertz, Lynn will begin seeing hallucinations of ghosts, she'll get so scared, she'll get a heart attack  
** **Lana: Shoots her with an arrow laced with dart frog poison  
** **Lola: Feeds her nightshade berries, she'll go insane from the delirium, then die  
** **Lisa: Literally picking your poison, Luan will administer a poison into Lynn's bloodstream  
** **Lily: Wiping her memory so that she's Patrick Star levels of stupid, she'll kill herself from her newfound idiocy**

* * *

 **Lori's dream: Self-explanatory, but if you want to know which siblings represent the main cast of Xenoblade: Lincoln is Shulk, Lynn is Reyn, Luna is Sharla, Leni is Dunban, Lucy is Melia, Luan is Riki and Lana is 7/Fiora. Arbitrary, I know, so here's another pointless fact. Lori has 222,222 HP while the gaius DEFECT has 230,000 HP. Side note, since we're talking about Xenoblade, remember in the episode "Raw Deal" when Leni mistakes the words geyser and geezer? Was the first thing that popped into anyone else's head in that moment was in Xenoblade Chronicles when the party is at Valak Mountain and they need to find the Jekt Geyser, but the characters mispronounce it as geezer? Just me? Sorry about getting off on a tangent there.**

* * *

 **Lincoln's dream: He feels he should have done more to help Lana...but, Lana is more than willing to sacrifice herself for her brother! She will protect him! After all, isn't that what siblings are supposed to do? Also, Lana's FIGHT button is disabled while the Trinity members MERCY buttons are disabled!**


	28. Inner Circlet

**Chapter Synopsis: Lola tries to finish what Lana started**

* * *

We see that it is the next day. The Loud siblings have just finished another school day. Except Lincoln, because it is the first day of his suspension. Lola comes over to check up on him.

"Hey Linky, how are you holding up?" Lola asks

"I'm doing just fine, Lola." Lincoln responds "Now, do you want to tell me anything?"

"Yes, the 3rd organization I've made to replace the Covalence Network is complete. And I wanted you to be the first member I recruit!"

"Well, I'd be happy to join your group, Lola." Lincoln asserts

"Really? Yes! Now that both co-leaders of the organization are in place, we can pick up where Lana left off! We need to convert all members of our family into the organization!"

"What does your organization exactly DO, Lola?" Lincoln inquires

"I never thought you'd ask, Linky. The Inner Circlet picks up where the Covalence Network left off. It has the same purpose as Covalence, but with an added bonus. Instead of making your sisters support **YOU** , it dictates that all siblings support **EACH OTHER**! It's a revamped and even better version of Covalence. I even made you a co-leader to keep me in check!" Lola clarifies to him

"So, you named it the Inner Circlet?"

"Yes, I even came up with its motto. "Finding the beauty in everyone." Does that sound too cheesy or pretentious, Linky? Be honest."

"I think it sounds perfect."

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"No. I genuinely think it's a perfect motto."

"Thanks, Linky. Wait here, I want to show you something." Lola leaves and grabs something from her room, she comes back and enters Lincoln's room. It's the pink card from Lana's item drawer, but it has doodles on it now. There are 8 bands surrounding the center, with a doodle of Lincoln and Lola's faces in the middle, they are wearing crowns. It has the words "Inner Circlet" with the motto "Finding the beauty in everyone" under it.

"It's the logo I made for the Inner Circlet. Do you like it?"

"I love it."

"Lana was right, you ARE a great brother…I was just too blind to notice. But I will honor the promise I made to her. She wanted me to protect you, so I will."

"But, I should be the one protecting YOU, Lola. I am your older brother after all."

"Let's just agree to protect each other."

"Agreed."

* * *

At that moment, Leni showed up to check up on Lincoln, just to see how he's doing.

"Hey, Linky, I just wanted to see how you're doing." Leni chimes in

"Leni, I want to ask you something, will you join our organization?" Lola asks her

"No. I don't trust a former member of the Trinity of Violence." Leni responds

"Leni, will you join our organization?" Lincoln inquires

"Sure, Linky! Anything for you!" Leni answers

"Leni, can you make 2 circlets? One for me and the other for Lincoln. And 8 bracelets for the sisters?"

"Ok!" Leni goes off to do just that

The rest of the day was spent recruiting all of the sisters. The re-recruited members went in this order: Lola, Lincoln, Leni, Lily, Lucy, Lori. The only ones left to join the Inner Circlet are those deeply devoted to Lana and the Covalence Network, and Lynn Jr, who is pretty much a "swing vote", so to speak. She WAS affiliated with the Trinity, but she is a neutral party now that the Trinity of Violence is pretty much destroyed.

Leni finished making the 2 circlets and 8 bracelets in about 1 hour, 45 minutes. It was easy for a master craftswoman, such as herself! I mean, this is the same person who finished making an ornate bedframe in about 30 minutes! She made them similar to Lana's Covalence badges, where the bracelet was dyed with the sibling's color and had their number etched into it. She also made a 9th bracelet, an honorary one, for Lana. Lola would have wanted her to join too. Lincoln picked up the crafts from her and delivered them to Lola, who has them on her dresser. She has one more thing to do, she grabs Lori and they head to Lynn Jr's room to discuss what happened on that day.

Meanwhile, Lisa invites the 2 co-leaders of Covalence to watch the security footage. The very same ones that she invited their father to watch. It seems now the Loud siblings will finally know who planted and detonated those firecrackers that caused Lana's death! It seems like things are about to get interesting…


	29. Dissolution Of TOV

**Chapter Synopsis: Lori, Luna, Luan and Lola find out what REALLY happened on April 26**

* * *

"So, Lola, why have you called us here?" Lori questions

"Well, ever since Operation Twinsanity was enacted, I stopped all Trinity of Violence plans. So, how come our sisters are saying that the TOV is responsible?" Lola enquires

"Yeah, that might have been my fault." Lynn Jr answers

"What, why?"

"I enacted an operation behind your back. If you weren't going to restore balance, I would!"

"We want the family dynamic the same! If Lana is dead, then there's a massive shift in the balance! That's just like pulling out the bottom card in a house of cards! Take out the support and it all comes crashing down!" Lori rebuffs Lynn angrily

"Easy, Lori… Lynn… what was the operation?"

"I wanted to scare her, to stop her from helping Lincoln, so I got some firecrackers and forced Lisa to make a detonator that would set ALL OF THEM off at once! That will surely frighten Lana away! I lured her out to where those noisemakers are and set them off! Only…Lana wasn't running away…" Lynn explains

Both Lola and Lori are left speechless, their mouths are agape with shock. They spend a few minutes processing what Lynn just told them. Lola recovers, and gives Lynn the verbal thrashing of a lifetime!

 **"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!** " Lola shrieks at her "This is why you come to Lori first, to make sure no one gets hurt!"

"But we're the Trinity of Violence! Violence is in our name!"

"We catch, but do not kill!" Lori counters "We only resort to beating people up if it's absolutely necessary!"

"As of this point, the Trinity of Violence is permanently disbanded!" Lola declares "Lynn, your membership has been revoked!"

"What?! You can't do that!"

"As the one who formed the group…" Lola started to say

"And as the leader of the Trinity of Violence…" Lori continues

"We hereby decree... the total destruction of this organization!" Both of them exclaim

* * *

It's official! The Trinity of Violence is **NO MORE**! Lola and Lori leave, leaving Lynn to take in what just happened. Meanwhile, Lisa has just finished showing both of the tapes to Luna and Luan.

"Wow, Lana told me about this…" Luna says "No wonder she temporarily instated me as leader of Covalence for a month."

Luan seemingly doesn't react. She just heads out of Lisa and Lily's room. Luna follows her.

"What are you planning to do, sis?" Luna questions her

"I'm going to give her a piece of my mind." Luan responds

Lincoln heads out of his room and sees that Luan is heading toward Lynn and Lucy's room, with a concerned Luna behind her. He goes over to them to investigate.

Luan goes up to Lynn and says this…

 **"YOU"**

 **"BLITHE"**

 **"IDIOT!"**

"Why did you take Lisa hostage?! Why did you beat up Lana?!"

Lynn doesn't respond…

"Did you detonate the firecrackers?!"

"It's just a prank, sis!"

"It's just a prank." How could **ANYONE** say that about a failed plan that resulted in a person **DYING**?! The fact that Lynn said that it was just a prank and in a callous and noncaring tone is enough to send Luan over the edge!

"People might say my pranks are "too dangerous", but they don't KILL the victim! This wasn't a prank, it was a TRAP, wasn't it?! How could you do this to OUR little sister?! Didn't you care about her?!"

"She was helping Lincoln and disrupting our family dynamic…"

"Don't give me that excuse, it won't work…It's because of you we won't be able to create any more memories with Lana. You're the one who took her life away. I WILL help Lana, I'll carry out her wishes, to protect Lincoln, and anyone else, from people like you."

There are no words to describe how angry Luan is. I mean, the word "livid" is the closest word to it, but being livid is TAME compared to the sheer frustration Luan has right now. If Luna and Lincoln weren't there to calm her down in case anything happened, she would go absolutely ballistic on Lynn!

Luan storms off to her room and Luna follows her. Lincoln just heads back to his room in stunned silence. Lynn is the who killed Lana (by accident, but it WAS still her fault). Lucy eventually enters Lincoln's room and begins to speak.

* * *

"I wanted to apologize to you, but I never found the right time to do so. Our sisters told me what happened. At the funeral…I called you bad luck." Lucy began to say "They told me I was being insensitive to you because Lana dedicated her life to proving you were our brother and not a lucky charm. Lincoln, I didn't know I hurt you…I'm sorry for what I said. I just hope you can forgive me…" Lucy explains

"I forgive you."

"You'll always be my big brother, Linc."

With that, Lucy leaves. But notices Lynn heading downstairs with a baseball bat. Lola is seen in the background, trying to recruit Luan, Luna and Lisa into her group.

"Hey, dad suspended you from sports! You can't just sneak off and play baseball!" Lucy yells at her

"I'm not going to play baseball, I'm going somewhere to clear my mind!" Lynn yells back

Lynn always beats up Lincoln when she's angry about something. It's like he's a living stress ball. But ever since Lana died, Lynn has been attacking Lincoln more and more frequently, and each time with the violence escalating further and further!

Lucy shakes her head and heads back to her room. Lynn heads to the places where she'll clear her mind. We see a montage of Lynn training. Her dad may have banned her from playing sports, but he never banned her from TRAINING for sports. The montage song is " _Take Me Out to The Ball Game_ ". After her training, she heads back to the house and just does whatever she normally does until it's bedtime. Once it's bedtime, everyone drifts off to sleep…except her…

She makes sure everyone's asleep. It's about 2 AM on the 2nd day of Lincoln's suspension. Lynn Jr stealthily sneaks out of bed and grabs a metal baseball bat, she slinks over to Lincoln's room, she opens the door. Lincoln doesn't hear her coming because he's already asleep! She approaches his bed and raises the baseball bat over her head, a lightning strike from a passing thunderstorm that day illuminated a sinister shadow getting ready to strike. Lynn says what she's wanted to say ever since the accident.

"This is for Lana."

 ***CRACK!**

* * *

 **Author's Note: The title of this chapter, Dissolution of TOV, was supposed to be a reference to both the complete destruction of the Trinity of Violence and the Hebrew phrase "mazel tov". I thought mazel meant "good" and tov meant "luck", but the opposite is true. It still fits, though, as even though the TOV is permanently eradicated, there are still two major threats to the Loud family. In the original version of this chapter, Lynn was supposed to attack Luan and she was supposed to utterly destroy her, it was cut because we already know that Luan is awesome! Also, when Luan shouts "you blithe idiot" at Lynn; Lincoln was supposed to say that in chapter 15, but I moved it here because that phrase was too good to waste. When she says that, she's livid that Lynn has chosen not to accept responsibility for the accident, she thinks that Lynn is being insensitively naïve...but that's not naivete, it's callousness. Anyway, things are about to come to a head...**


	30. Power Struggle

"I knew then...it was destiny."-Manfred von Karma, December 28, 2001; moments before perpetrating the infamous DL-6 incident

 **Chapter Synopsis: The singularity of violence unleashes a whirlwind of pain on Lincoln while the rest of the Loud family try to stop her**

* * *

We see Lola dreaming about…a log cabin? She is inside the cabin, relaxing and having tea by a fireplace while Lana is outside chopping firewood.

"Ah, nothing could ruin this dream…" Lola sighs

"HELP!" shouts a voice

"Was that Lincoln? How did he get inside my dream?" Lana enters the cabin "Lana, did you see Lincoln anywhere?"

"No." Lana responds

"Why do I still hear something…it sounds like an axe splitting wood, but…you're here…"

* * *

Lola realizes what's happening and wakes up! She hears the ax splitting wood noise coming from Lincoln's room! This can only mean one thing… someone is trying to hurt Lincoln! Lola rushes to the door and tries to open it…it's locked. She charges the door to try and tear it off its hinges! The noise wakes up everyone else. Lisa gets to her first.

"Lola, it's 2:38 in the morning… why are you trying to disturb our elder brother?" Lisa asks groggily

"I think a hostile intruder broke into our house from the 2nd floor's closet window! They didn't know Lincoln sleeps in the closet, so they tried to silence him, to not leave any eyewitnesses, but Lincoln woke up and is trying to fight them off, that's why he's screaming! We have to help him!" Lola explains in a panic

"He can get himself killed for all I care, but I have an invention I custom made specifically for self-defense. I'll go get it!"

Lisa heads back to her room to get the invention, all the siblings are outside the door to Lincoln's room.

"We heard Lincoln's bloodcurdling screams, so we came running here as fast as we could!" Luna exclaims "Did you try to open the door?"

"Yeah, it's locked from the inside! The assailant must have locked it to keep us from trying to help our brother!" Lola answered. She tries to charge the door again, but it doesn't budge.

"Let's all charge the door and force it open!" Lori shouts

All the Loud siblings (except Lily, of course) run full force at the door. It shows some signs of damage, but it's still up and blocking the way. Lynn Sr and Rita make their way up to the 2nd floor.

* * *

"Kids, what's going on?!" Lynn Sr says in a panic

"An intruder broke into the house and is trying to kill Lincoln!" Lola shrieks "We have to save him!"

"Wait, where's Lynn?" Lucy questions "If she's here, the door would have already been broken! We need her strength to break the locked door down!"

"Oh no, you don't think the intruder is fighting off **BOTH** Lincoln and Lynn?!" Leni exclaims

Lisa comes back with the invention. It looks like a stun gun.

"Family, this is the AV incapacitator! This custom modified stun gun is guaranteed to render your enemies helpless! It has a voltage mode for pain. And an ampere mode if the voltage mode doesn't incapacitate them. Ampere mode can actually KILL the foe very easily, so I have it set to volts by default. There is also a hidden taser embedded into it, to use it, press this button here." Lisa clarifies

"Alright, we don't know how dangerous this hostile intruder is, be ready for anything." Lynn Sr warns "Ok, on 3, I'll try to break the door down, ready? 1…2…3!"

Lola and Lynn Sr rush at the door with all the energy they could muster! The door finally breaks down and rips off of its hinges! They see who is trying to murder Lincoln.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

It's Lynn.

* * *

Lincoln isn't calling for help anymore… Lynn just continues to brutalize Lincoln's body by bludgeoning it with a metal baseball bat. Everything is painted red with Lincoln's blood. Everyone is shocked by the gruesome scene they're witnessing unfold! Luan tries to interfere, but Luna pulls her back!

"Let me go!" Luan said, as she tries wriggling away from Luna "I have to save our brother!"

"I can't let you do that! If you try…Lynn might do to you what she did to Lincoln! I can't lose you like that! Please, don't do this!" Luna pleads, she knows Luan wants to save Lincoln, but she doesn't want Luan to suffer the same fate as him!

"I got it!" Lisa volunteers. She aims the stun gun at Lynn Jr. She doesn't care that she's about to be tasered.

Lisa fires the taser at her. It shocks her, but it doesn't seem to incapacitate her!

"Oh no, the voltage was at 5. That was too low to do anything! I have to get closer!" Lisa shouts

Lisa sets the voltage to 450 and approaches Lynn…she looks less like their sister and more like a savage wild animal who's just captured another meal! She tries to taser her genitalia.

"450 volts!"

Nothing happened…

"What?! There is supposed to be a buildup of nerve clusters down there! She should be unconscious from the tremendous pain the electric shock is causing!" Lisa exclaims. Lynn picks Lisa up and throws her down the hall!

"She's wearing a cup, that's why it didn't work. Athletes wear them all the time so that THAT area doesn't get damaged during a rough game!" Lucy explains

"Alright, how about THIS then!" Lola picks up the taser Lisa dropped and tasers Lynn in the right shoulder. She recoils in pain but is knocked unconscious. Lisa comes back and takes the taser from Lola.

"Thanks, Lola." Lisa sets the AV incapacitator to ampere mode…

"Lis, what are you doing?" Luna questions

"Finishing the job, a 450-amp shock should definitely kill her!" Lisa explains "This is for Lana! I will be the one to avenge her!" Lisa shouts at Lynn. She's just about to deliver the fatal shock, when Lisa remembers Lana's quote…

"He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster…when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you."

"Lana…" Lisa responds sadly. Lisa turns the stun gun back to voltage mode.

* * *

"Luan, do you still have those prank handcuffs?"

"Yeah, I'd knew they'd come in _handy_ someday." Luan leaves to go to her room, she comes back with a pair of handcuffs and a key, she places the handcuffs on her and tightens them with the key. "There, now Lynn's under _lock and key_!"

Lynn suddenly comes to and easily breaks free from the handcuffs! Lisa tasers her in the left leg! Lynn is incapacitated once again!

"Aw man! That flimsy piece of plastic wasn't even worth the dollar I spent on it!" Luan complains "Luckily, I brought something stronger!" She takes out a multicolored rope and hogties Lynn! The knots are reversed both vertically and horizontally from Lana's!

"Where did you learn how to tie knots like that?!" Lola inquires

"How did you think your twin did it? She learned it from me! I AM her mentor after all, that's not all the knots I can do. I can do Windsor, Pretzel, Double Diamond, Square, Constrictor, Stomach, Pillow, Butterfly, Monkey's Chain, Monkey's Fist, Monkey, and the hardest one of the set, the Oops Loop. It's the hardest because when you unravel it has to make a sound similar to "loop!"" Luan clarifies

"So, how are you going to discipline Lynn for almost killing our son?" Rita asks Lynn Sr

"I'm not…this is way past the point of disciplining. I know what I have to do, but I never thought I'd have to do it…" Lynn Sr takes out a cellphone and dials a number.

* * *

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Hello, there's been an attempted murder at 1216 Franklin Ave. My family has incapacitated, captured and restrained the assailant. Send the paramedics immediately!"

"Ok sir, the professionals will be there in about 15 minutes."

15 minutes later…

Pretty much the entire Royal Woods police force (sans 2 leftover squads to take care of other minor crimes I.E: shoplifting in the vicinity) descend onto the Loud house! After all, the worst crime that happened in this town so far was a few homes being burglarized (they caught the perp in the episode "Lock 'N' Loud"). So, when a crime as serious as **ATTEMPTED MURDER** happens here, it's serious business! The EMTs also rush to the house! The Loud family is downstairs in the first floor (yes, even Lynn, they had to drag her unconscious body all the down to the living room). The EMTs talk to Lynn Sr.

"Are you the one who called 911, sir?"

"Yes, the victim…my son, is upstairs."

The EMTs rush to the 2nd floor and head into the room where the door was broken open, because obviously, that's how the family was able to stop the attacker! They are shocked at the depravity of the scene. There are blood splatters everywhere, while Lincoln is halfway between the door and his bed, unconscious in a massive pool of blood!

"Hurry, get him on the gurney, we need to transport him to the ICU, immediately!"

The EMTs head back outside, take out a stretcher, put Lincoln's body on it, carry him out of the house, put him on a gurney, loaded the gurney into the ambulance and drove off. The Louds were just about to follow the ambulance to the hospital when the police arrive.

"Sir, you said you captured the attacker?" The police officer questioned in a skeptical manner. After all, catching suspects is **THEIR** job!

Yes, I can hardly believe it myself. But the attacker…is my daughter, Lynn. We tied her up to stop her from killing my son." Lynn Sr breaks down in tears

"Understood sir, we may have some questions for your family down at the station by our boss. Well, we consider him our boss, but he's really just another officer."

"Alright boys!" The officer shouted "Lets book 'em!"

The officers pick up Lynn Jr's body and throw her in the back of a squad car.

"Come down to the precinct once you've recovered. We'll be waiting!" With that, the officers headed back to the police station.

The Loud family is still in shock over what's happened. Now that Lynn Jr's being held by the cops, what will happen now? Could things get even worse than this?! Well, readers, we still have the 2nd half of Act 2 to find out!

* * *

 **Author's Note: Lynn originally tried to train one of the pets to assassinate Lincoln in his sleep. Remember in "Lock 'N' Loud", when Lana tried to train Charles to attack burglars? Well Lynn tried to train Cliff to slit Lincoln's throat when he's asleep. It failed because Cliff is EVEN LAZIER than Charles! A Ryōken Hōinbō, she is not. She just went with her second option, beating the crap out of him until he dies. Not as clean as an assassination but it still has the same effect.**

 **As the last sentence says, we have reached the second half of Act 2! The Trial Mini-Arc! Now that I see it, Lynn and von Karma seem so much alike. Both of them pride themselves being perfect in their profession, both of them misplace vengeance on another and now have committed crimes because of said broken pride. Now that Lynn has tried to kill Lincoln, what will happen now? Will Lola continue to be nice to Lincoln? Will Lynn be incarcerated for this heinous act? Can the family survive anymore turmoil and tragedy?! And perhaps the most important question of all, will Lynn ever take responsibility for her actions?! We shall see...**


	31. Breaking The Case

**Chapter Synopsis: Lynn is interrogated by the police; The Loud family is brought down to retell the events of this morning**

* * *

It's about 7:30 AM. Lynn Jr wakes up in a room. She glances at the surroundings, a metal chair, a metal table bolted down to the floor. A filing cabinet for important documents and a one-way reinforced plexiglass mirror, strong enough to block bullets! Lynn looks down at her hands…they're handcuffed together. She looks at her clothes…they're still covered in blood…Lynn realizes she's in a police precinct's interrogation room! The officers outside are discussing something, but Lynn can't hear them. The officers finally send in their man. He sits down in front of Lynn while the officers watch.

"Good morning, I hope you slept well, what with all the aggravated assault you've inflicted. I'm detective Marshall from the Royal Woods 9th precinct. And you, are in a lot of trouble, young lady."

Lynn studies the man closely. He's a white man wearing a pair of rectangle shades and has a scruffy black beard. He looks to be in his 30's. Also, by the way he was talking, it seems he's from another country…France, maybe? No, maybe Canada…after all that WAS a French colony.

"Say, haven't I seen you before?" Lynn questions the detective

"I used to work at a tourist trap/convenience store before I got this job…What was the name of that place? Ed's Gas and Snack, If I remember correctly. Now, let's get down to business. We got a call about an attempted murder at 1216 Franklin Ave. did you know anything about it?"

"Know about it?! I'm the attempted murderer!" Lynn brags to him "I'll just confess and we can both end this discussion now!"

* * *

An officer decides to enter the room and speak with the detective.

"So, Kyle, has the perp cracked yet?"

"No, but she just offered to confess!"

"Well, get her to write down everything!"

"We can't **JUST** do that; The DA's office might think we coerced a false confession out of her! I'll ask her about the details of the crime, if she knows more than she seems, then we'll arrest her."

"Good plan, I'll leave you to it."

* * *

The officer leaves while the detective starts asking Lynn details about the crime. He also places a tape recorder on the desk and hits record.

"Ok, what time did the attack take place?"

"2:36 AM on May 20, 2017, sir."

("…Hmm, the time is the exact same listed on the police report…")

"What was the murder weapon?"

"A metal baseball bat."

("…She knows about the murder weapon…")

"Detective Marshall, I already told you I did it…why don't you just arrest me? I mean, I'm giving you a confession here…why aren't you taking it?"

"Who was the victim?"

"My loser brother, Lincoln Loud."

"Right, and what was your motive?"

"Easy, revenge."

"Revenge for what?"

"That motherfucker killed my little sister, so I enacted some vigilante justice on that punk! Look, I don't even care that I'm going to spend the rest of my life behind bars, as long as Lincoln Loud is dead, I'm content, because then my sweet little sister will be avenged!"

"Ok, do you have anything else to say?"

"Yeah." Lynn says "You have a Canadian accent, so am I correct in assuming that you moved to Michigan from Ontario?"

"Yes."

"Now, my question is, did you move out because of that blond-haired piece of white trash that sings crappy pop music?"

"Lynn, what does this have to do with the attack?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to know if you moved out of Canada because of that "man's" terrible music."

"Just sign the confession…" Detective Marshall slides a piece of paper and a pen to her

"That's what I've been trying to do this whole time!"

Detective Marshall just looks on in confusion. Why such a flippant and noncaring attitude? She's about to be arrested on a murder charge, and she's just confessing to the crime? Usually, if a suspect is guilty, they try to **AVOID** proving their guilt. But Lynn...? She's confessing without a single care and doesn't even feel guilty! What's going on here? Is she covering for someone else? Is it a false or coerced confession?

Lynn signs a written confession detailing every meticulous detail on how the attack was carried out. Detective Marshall has the evidence he needs. He drags Lynn outside the room and says:

"Lynn Loud Jr, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Lincoln Loud. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, then one will be provided to you by the state."

* * *

The rest of the Loud family give their statements to the police at about 9:45 AM…

Detective Marshall questions Lynn Sr first…

"Sir, you were the one to call the police dispatch?"

"Yes."

"I want you to tell me everything you can remember."

"Ok. I woke up at about 2:38 AM because I was hearing something that sounded like a harsh knocking. I went upstairs and saw that it was my daughter, Lola, trying to bust the door down."

"Why is she trying to break the door down?"

"It was locked from the inside. Anyways, she told me that there was a hostile intruder in Lincoln's room and that the attacker was trying to kill him. I helped Lola break the locked door down and saw Lynn mercilessly attacking him with a baseball bat. That's all that I can remember…"

* * *

"Ok sir, I understand…this was a traumatic experience, seeing your daughter trying to murder your son. Ok, I'll question Lola next, then."

Lola takes a seat in the precinct's interrogation room. Detective Marshall enters and begins to question her.

"Officer, am I under arrest?" Lola questions

"No, you didn't try to kill Lincoln, I just want you to explain how this all went down."

"Ok." Lola says "It was about 2:35 AM when I heard a scream for help. I recognized the bloodcurdling scream as our brother's scream. I woke up and tried to enter his room, but the door was locked, so I tried to break the door down. I woke everyone up with all the noise I was making… Lisa questioned why I was banging on the door and explained the situation, so she got a weapon for us to defend ourselves with."

"A weapon?" Detective Marshall questions "What type of weapon?"

"Stun gun."

"Ok, continue."

"Eventually, all of us siblings tried to charge the door to break it, it didn't fall, but the door was about to fall off of its hinges. Our parents got up there, so our dad and me rushed and broke the door down and we saw Lynn mutilating Lincoln's body with a metal bat! We decided to not engage, for fear of bodily harm."

"Good, you guys did the right thing…we want to minimize casualties."

"Ok, so Lisa tried to electrocute Lynn to get her to stop, but the voltage was too low. She changed the volts from 5 to 450 and tried to incapacitate her by electrocuting…THAT part of her body. It didn't work because she was wearing a cup. Lynn then threw Lisa away and continued beating up Lincoln's unconscious body. I grabbed the stun gun and electrocuted her in the right shoulder, she fell unconscious temporarily. Luan then got a pair of handcuffs and tried to tie up Lynn that way, but she broke it."

"Wait, she **BROKE** a pair of handcuffs?!"

"It was those fake ones you get from the dollar store." Lola clarifies

"Lisa had to zap her again, this time in the left leg. Luan then tied up Lynn while dad called you guys. And that was how the incident happened. If you need more details, question Luan. All the other siblings were too afraid to go up to her. I don't blame them. She seemed like an animal when she was whaling on Lincoln's body."

* * *

Detective Marshall questions Luan third. The comedienne seems a little less jolly and more melancholy than normal. Though, that is to be expected.

"Ok, how did the attack happen?"

"I woke up at about 2:40 AM when I heard Lincoln screaming. Lola and dad broke the door down and we saw Lynn beating up Lincoln with a bat. I tried to save him, but Luna pulled me back saying that "it was too dangerous.""

"She's right you know, an unarmed civilian going up against an assailant with a weapon. It's best that you didn't go, otherwise, you might be joining your brother in the ICU."

"Luna told me that, too." Luan acknowledges dejectedly

"Ok I think I know how the situation played out. You can head back to your family now, kid."

* * *

Luan leaves the room, Lisa enters.

"Alright, now we just need some evidence to tie it all together…" Detective Marshall utters

"About that, detective, I believe THESE will help in your investigation." Lisa declares to him, startling him from his train of thought.

"Huh? Oh…it's just you. Well, you want to explain HOW these will help me?" Detective Marshall questions

"These are the floor plans to the Loud house, you can make a 2D model of the crime scene using these. And these are the security footage tapes I recorded on that day. I assume you've already canvassed the crime scene and recovered the murder weapon, so I'll leave you to it." Lisa explained, and with that, she leaves.

"Wait…" Detective Marshall pondered "Those 2 ladies I interviewed…haven't I seen them somewhere before?"

* * *

"Yo, what are you guys doing in here? Fritz said this was our room."

"Well, Fritz was wrong. Bye, now."

[Lola closes the door, but Kyle puts his foot in the way, and pushes the door open]

"Not so fast! Come on, boys!"

"Alright! Let's rage!"

[The three guys walk into the room and begin to shout like crazy while music blares loudly from their boom box. The room phone begins ringing, and Lily answers it]

"Goo?"

[The caller is once again revealed to be Leni]

"Yes, La-od family? This is Fritz at the front desk. Could you please keep it down? We're getting some complaints."

[Lily babbles some incomprehensible dialogue]

"Well you sound just like my sister, Lily."

[Luna, Luan, and Lola ram the three guys out of their room with a couch]

"And stay out, you stinkers!"

* * *

He remembers…those 2 kicked him, Miguel and Todd out of their room when they were on winter break! But… he doesn't harbor a grudge against them…once he realized that "Fritz" was just a Leni wearing Fritz's lapel pin, while the REAL Fritz was repairing the broken elevators. He chuckles, remembering that he got so worked up over such a trivial thing and proceeds to continue the investigation.

It looks like Kyle will have his hands full. Next up, is the prosecutor's turn. The prosecution has 1 day left before the trial. So, they'd better get to it!


	32. Coma-ing Around

**Chapter Synopsis: The prosecution prepares its case against Lynn**

* * *

"Alright, get these footage tapes to TARU! Maybe they can decrypt what was actually happening!" Detective Marshall orders

"Yes sir, detective!"

An officer takes the 14 tapes all marked with the date May 20, 2017 on it, each one is labelled with the corresponding room. There are 16 in all if you count the front and back yards!

"Tell them to expedite the one that has "Lincoln's Room" on it. The footage was cut off until 3:27 because of the attempted murder, but we only need 2:36 AM till the end of the recording. That's the crime scene, so tell them to prioritize that one above all else!" Detective Marshall explains

The officer rushes the tapes to the Technical Assistance Response Unit. Detective Marshall decides to pay Lincoln a visit in the ICU. After all, since he's the victim, he should know most of the details. Also, he wants Lincoln to explain Lynn Jr's claim of him killing their younger sister.

* * *

Detective Marshall travels to the Royal Woods General Hospital. He speaks with the receptionist and is allowed to go through to visit Lincoln but…the receptionist warned him that someone else is visiting, too.

"Hmm…who could also be visiting Lincoln…that lady at the front desk said it wasn't anyone from the Loud family…"

Detective Marshall enters Lincoln's room and comes face to face with the other person visiting.

"Police! State your business!" Detective Marshall barks out

The man turns around and looks at him.

"Investigating a crime." The man says, flashing a prosecutor's badge

"So, you took the Loud case, huh?"

"Yep." The man responds "If you're trying to interrogate Lincoln, don't bother."

"Why not?" Questions the detective

The prosecutor whispers something in his ear.

"Oh…I'll have to notify the family, then…" The detective's demeanor changed from determined to somber in a matter of 5 seconds

"The preliminary hearing is today…It should be easy, keeping that animal back in its cage."

They both look at Lincoln's body…

"Can you believe his own sister did this to him?" The prosecutor asks in disbelief "Don't worry kid, I WILL get justice for you…no, WE will, right, detective?"

The detective firmly nodded his head and heads to the Loud house to inform the family of the bad news. He knocks on the door… Lola opens it.

* * *

"Hey, Lola… can I come in?" Detective Marshall inquires

Lola knows those 4 words well. She sneaks some peeks of the TV when their parents are watching a crime show. Whenever an officer asks to come into your house, that only ever means one thing.

"I already know, Lincoln has died, hasn't he?" Lola responds

"Maybe all of you should hear this at once, so can I enter your residence now?"

"Sure." Lola replies "Dad, it's the detective from yesterday!"

Everyone heads into the Living room. Detective Marshall begins to explain what's going on.

"I have good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first?"

"How about the good news?" Lucy asks

"Lincoln's still alive."

"And the bad news?" Luan queries

"The beating was so severe it knocked him into a coma." Detective Marshall explains "The doctors don't know if he's going to wake up…"

"Well, if there's a chance our brother's still alive, we'll take it." Lori states

"Right, the preliminary hearing is today, do you want to watch?"

"Yes, we want our brother to get justice!" The sisters all reply in unison

* * *

Detective Marshall heads back to the police station while the family heads down to the courtroom to see the hearing. They arrive and see the defense attorney and prosecutor arguing on what happens to Lynn Jr while the evidence is being gathered.

"Judge, I request my client be held on $500,000 dollars bail." The defense attorney argues "She's a first-time offender."

"Well, I think that attempted first-degree murder should be worth more than $500,000 dollars. Prosecution, your counterargument?"

"The people seek remand, your honor." The prosecutor that detective Marshall encountered earlier affirms "The defendant tried to murder her brother in cold blood and likely would have succeeded had the family not intervened."

"Alright, I've made my decision." The judge announces "The defendant is remanded to the Royal Woods Jail, pending sentencing. Court adjourned!"

Everyone leaves…Lynn Jr gets transported to the jail. Inside, there are only 2 other criminals (Yeah, Royal Woods has almost NO CRIME, compared to other cities). One of them talks to her.

* * *

"So, what are you in for?" Asks the man

Lynn doesn't respond to him.

"Ok, I'm in for a string of robberies in this neighborhood." The man utters to her "These people have some good stuff! Ah, but they caught me at 8 Mile and Lindbrook, trying to rob someone's house."

"Why'd you do it?" asks the other man, who looks VERY familiar

"Well, I tried finding a job, but no one would hire me, not even _McDonalds_! I got desperate for cash, so I started burgling people and selling their items at the pawn shop for some extra dough." The burglar explained "And, no, I **DIDN'T** have a criminal record before the robberies, McDonalds just refused some poor shmuck who needed a quick buck. What, are you too **GOOD** to hire me, McDonalds?!"

Lynn almost immediately recognizes the other man. It's Flip! I guess OSHA finally caught up with him…

"Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you that sports nut that keeps re-fueling her teams at my former place of business? If it's you, then thanks for all the money your teams have given me!" He chuckles boisterously "Hey, so how's your brother? He was one of my best customers, spending all of his allowance on Flippee's™ and Ace Savvy comics! I can't wait to steal his money, I mean, sell him my ridiculously overpriced goods, for monetary compensation, of course."

It should be no surprise why Flip got arrested. OSHA found out about **ALL** of his "cutting corners" practices, which enumerates **SO** many health code violations. Let's see, they found out that Flip was using his forehead sweat as windshield wiper fluid (yes, the OSHA agents were disgusted by this, one of them even vomited), adjusting the expiration dates on the milk in the store, some of which go back to 1924, which means that milk is older than Flip! It's not even milk, it would be rotted and molded cottage cheese by that point (which Clyde predicted was illegal)! Having at least 15 of his dirty and sweat drenched grey socks soaking with the nacho cheese (The agents harshly rebuked him for that a la "You're gonna kill someone!" from all those Yum Network cooking shows). They also seized the store security footage, which shows that Flip **ALSO DRANK** from one of those expired milk cartons and put it back in the case to be sold to some poor bastard (by this point, the agents slap handcuffs on him and arrest him, but they still continue watching to see how far this goes), he tried playing **HIS OWN** lottery scratch tickets (they were all losers, but he's still going to sell those losing tickets by covering it up with black spray paint), taking grease from the hot dog machine and selling it as motor oil (illegal, and possibly dangerous), and soaking his feet in the nacho cheese dispenser (both agents vomited that time)! Needless to say, with all those health code violations, Flip's going to jail, and he's going be there for a while.

"So, what **ARE** you in for?" Flip questions

"Fratricide." Lynn Jr said with a sweet smile (which makes it scary for people who know what she's talking about)

"You're going to have to explain that one to me." Flip said

"It means she killed her brother." The burglar clarifies to him

"WHAT?! You killed my best customer, I mean, your **OWN** brother?! How could you?! Whose money am I going to swindle now?!" Flip screams in shock

"Whoa, I didn't know we have a celebrity in here! Murders almost never happen in Royal Woods, in fact, I think this is the first one! Congratulations, you are a horrible person, at least the worst I've done is steal shit. You're going to rot in jail for the rest of your life thanks to that first-degree murder charge. So, I have to ask kid, was it worth it? Was the life you took worth more than your own?" The burglar ponders to Lynn

"Yes, because I know that my sister's murderer won't kill another and my sweet younger sis will be avenged. I did it for her." Lynn Jr replies to him

"Woah, hold up! I know your brother, he wouldn't hurt anyone, let alone kill someone, especially one of his sisters!" Flip challenges "In fact, when those twins came by, Lincoln sold them some premium unleaded gas for their car and some beef jerky to the one with a red cap. Clyde cleaned up the bathroom for the princess. So, I got free labor out of McBride, but Loud actually contributed profits to the business' operation! I won't tell him this, but he's actually a great intern, same with his friend. My point is, if your brother tried to sell your sister beef jerky, would that make him bad?"

"Yes, he stole Lana's money and **YOU** stole it from him!" Lynn shoots back "Once a thief, always a thief!"

"Touché́." Flip comments "But my point is that he gave her some jerky, and even though she paid him for it, she was happy, and I think that to him, seeing her smile, was worth more than money."

Lynn Jr knows that trying to convince them otherwise is pointless. So, she rests up for the 3-day trial that's fast approaching. She doesn't care about her indictment. She doesn't care about her possible acquittal. All she wants, is for the people of Royal Woods to know, is that her brother, Lincoln Loud, is a remorseless killer.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Detective Marshall has a similar personality to Interpol agent Shi-Long Lang from the Ace Attorney Investigations series. He's an impulsive cop that just wants to do the right thing, though his rashness gets him into trouble, so he's trying to cool his temper. Yes, the burglar in here is the same one that the police captured in the episode "Lock 'N' Loud". He's a down on his luck, desperate man that needs money to survive. He tried to apply for several jobs, but they all turned him down, even McDonalds. The worst part was that McDonalds needed workers and they STILL turned him down, so he had to resort to stealing stuff just to buy food, but hey, since he's arrested, now he has free food! Also, I bet you didn't expect FLIP of all people to give a heartfelt speech, especially since he's nothing but a greedy moneygrubber. Tomorrow is the 1st day of the trial, how will it play out? Find out next chapter!**


	33. Case Docket 137426

"No, Udgey! Don't listen to his lies! He's nothing but a coward! You can't let him?"-Damon Gant, February 25, 2017, when cornered

 **Chapter Synopsis: The prosecutor that detective Marshall encountered heads to the crime scene to collect more evidence; The 1st day of the trial**

* * *

 **May 22, 2017**

 **Royal Woods 9th Precinct**

 **9:00 AM**

The prosecutor approaches detective Marshall and asks how his investigation is proceeding. This was the detective's response:

"Amazing! TARU has finished analyzing the crime scene footage and the forensic division has finished dusting for fingerprints on the murder weapon!" Detective Marshall hands the evidence to the prosecutor "With this evidence, there is ABSOLUTELY no doubt that anyone other than Lynn Jr could have committed this crime, this just reinforces her confession!"

*Bloodstained Bat added to organizer

*Crime Scene Footage added to organizer

"Great, but I'm going to canvass the crime scene, just to make sure you didn't mistakenly overlook anything." The prosecutor says

"Fine, but it's a waste of time, we have a written confession and decisive evidence."

"About that, can I see the confession?"

"Here you go."

*Lynn's Confession added to organizer

* * *

 **May 22, 2017**

 **1216 Franklin Ave**

 **11:45 AM**

"Ok, time to see if the police overlooked anything…"

The prosecutor knocks on the door, Leni answers it.

"Hey, why do you look so familiar?" Leni questions

"I was at the trial. I'm the person Michigan sent to convict your sister."

"Michigan did that? The only conviction we have is that our brother is innocent!"

The prosecutor is puzzled, though for what, he's not sure. This statement is so full of holes, it would take all day for him to point them out, but he doesn't have time for that, the 1st day of the trial is being held today!

"Kid, what are you talking about? Lincoln is the **VICTIM** here, not the **DEFENDANT**."

"The murder weapons that were used to kill the victim…were firecrackers!" Leni explains "But Lincoln didn't do it, he isn't a murderer!"

("What is she talking about, the murder weapon was a metal baseball bat?")

"Uh, hey kid, can I come in, I just want to see what happened."

"Sure!" Leni beams at him with a sweet smile

The prosecutor lets himself in and heads up to the crime scene, Lincoln's room…however, before he can enter said crime scene, Lisa comes out of her room and derides him!

"Hey idiot, the police already cordoned off Lincoln's room, it became a crime scene when our brute of a sister tried to bludgeon him to death. Unless you're a law enforcement official, DO NOT ENTER."

The prosecutor tries to enter, Lisa blocks him.

"You're not a cop, get out of here!"

The prosecutor presents his prosecutor's badge!

"Kid, I'm a prosecutor investigating this case, I need to access the crime scene to collect evidence."

"Oh yeah?" Lisa shoots back "I gave detective Marshall the evidence he needs to convict Lynn!"

"Well, if we have MORE evidence, then it will be even EASIER to convict her."

"Fair point, but I'll laugh when the police arrest you for trespassing."

"I **AM** with the police!"

"Sure, keep telling yourself that…" Lisa snidely remarks then leaves

The prosecutor walks over the police tape and sees the gruesome attempted murder scene, he decides to scan the room for more evidence.

"The bedsheets are tilted to the left, it's Lincoln's only exit with the right side being up against the wall."

"The blood splatters all face northwards coming from the center of the pool of blood where Lincoln was attacked. However, there is a splatter to the eastward direction from the bed and droplets leading to the massive pool of blood in the center."

"The locked door took multiple attempts to be busted down… at least 30 attempts were used to tear it from the hinges…"

The prosecutor realizes that the police have combed through the entire room and found everything that was useful to their case…at least he got some reassurance and saw it himself…but it's time for the 1st day of the trial…

* * *

 **May 22, 2017**

 **Trial Room #3**

 **1:11 PM**

Everyone takes their seats. The 12 jurors are ready to help the judge…well, judge. The judge is a white man with grey hair and square glasses. The Loud family feels they've seen him before…they think he was at Lynn's football game, or maybe Luna saw him getting tickets at a SMOOCH concert! Anyway, the judge says his opening statement.

"Case docket #137426; People V Lynn Loud Jr, how does the defendant plead?"

"Not guilty, your honor."

"We shall see… I will remind everyone that this case will set a new precedent for Michigan! Our governing body saw how well the inquisitorial system worked for our allies in the east, so we finally decided to give it a try. If it works, the hybridization of both inquisitorial and jurist system courts will soon happen all across America! Defense attorney Mittenthal, are you ready to proceed?"

A smug looking white man with elegantly coifed dirty blond hair and glasses says "yes". What is this? Normally it's the **PROSECUTORS** who look debonair, in both _Phoenix Wright_ and _Law and Order_.

"Prosecutor Savino, what about you?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Hey, sis I inquire you to tell us, what's the inquisitorial system?" Luan said to Lisa

"The inquisitorial system is a legal process in which both the defense and the prosecution aid the police in the investigation of a crime. They then share their findings with the judge, who then passes down his verdict. Jurors can help sway his decision, but he has the final say so. This was used in countries like Japan instead of the jurist system."

"Hmm…sounds like a video game Lincoln would play." Luan remarks

The judge interrupts them. Apparently, he heard their discussion.

"Order in the court!"

They stop talking…

"Alright, now prosecutor, your opening statement."

* * *

"Yes, your honor. On May 20, 2017 at 2:36 PM, Lincoln Loud was savagely beaten to near-death by his older sister, Lynn Jr. We have evidence that ties her to the crime."

The judge nods and asks for the defense's argument. He responds with this:

"I call my first witness, Lori Loud!"

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

Lori takes the stand, defense attorney Mittenthal asks her a series of questions relating to the incident.

"So, Ms. Loud, did you definitively see who was attacking Lincoln that night?"

"Yes." Lori responds "It was Lynn Jr."

"Ok, is there anyone else it could've been?"

"No, it was Lynn, I recognized her shadow." Lori responds

"Care to testify about that, Ms. Loud?"

 **TESTIMONY-SINISTER SHADOW**

Once Lola and our dad broke the door down, we saw Lincoln on the floor being beaten to death by an unknown assailant. Upon closer inspection, we saw that the shadow that was beating up Lincoln belonged to Lynn.

"Well, Mr. Mittenthal, it seems kind of obvious that Lynn is the one who committed the crime, but I'll let Mr. Savino cross-examine her anyway, the floor is yours!"

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-SINISTER SHADOW**

Once Lola and our dad broke the door down, we saw Lincoln on the floor being beaten to death by an unknown assailant. Upon closer inspection, we saw that the shadow that was beating up Lincoln belonged to Lynn.

HOLD IT! "You said the assailant was "unknown", correct?"

"Yeah, I literally just said it last sentence ago!" Lori chastises

"If the assailant was "unknown"? How could it have been Lynn?"

"I'm literally getting to that point now!" Lori responds

HOLD IT! "You didn't say HOW the shadow belonged to Lynn!"

"I didn't?"

"Your honor, I move to strike this witness' testimony from the record, she didn't explain how she knew the shadow was Lynn!"

OBJECTION!

* * *

"Wow, Savino! So defeatist that you're trying to make me win? You're too kind!"

"What's your point, Mr. Mittenthal?!"

"Nothing, I just wanted to rub it in his face."

OVERRULED!

"Agreed, Ms. Loud, explain to us how the shadow belonged to Lynn or we'll strike your testimony off the record!"

"Well…" Lori began "It **WAS** very dark out so I could have been mistaken..."

"Right, enough of this…Lori's testimony is stricken! Prosecution, your move."

Prosecutor Savino then does the unthinkable in a courtroom trial and says this:

"We simply don't have enough evidence for a conviction yet, we need another day!"

OBJECTION!

"I know you can't convict, so I'll just acquit my client now! Your honor, I'd like to call in my second witness, Luna Loud!"

Luna takes the stand.

"Ok, testify about what you saw that night." Defense attorney Mittenthal exclaims

 **TESTIMONY-SOUND OF SILENCE**

Alright, so after I heard Lincoln scream, I rushed over to his room to help my bro! But the door was wicked stuck, so Lola and pops busted it down, we then saw Lynn brutalizing Lincoln's body. He wasn't screaming for help, he wasn't moving, he was murdered in front of us, he died.

"Well, that seems like a clear-cut testimony, Prosecutor Savino, can you find anything out from that?"

"I intend to do so, your honor!" Prosecutor Savino responds proudly

"Alright then, find the truth!"

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-SOUND OF SILENCE**

Alright, so after I heard Lincoln scream, I rushed over to his room to help my bro! But the door was wicked stuck, so Lola and pops busted it down, we then saw Lynn brutalizing Lincoln's body. He wasn't screaming for help, he wasn't moving, he was murdered in front of us, he died.

HOLD IT! "You rushed in to save Lincoln?"

"Of course, Mr. Savino, wouldn't you save your siblings if they were in trouble?"

("Fair point, I'd better let her continue her testimony.")

HOLD IT! "The door was stuck?"

"Yeah, dude, Lola tried opening it, it didn't budge."

"So, the door was **LOCKED** , then?"

"You got it, brah."

("That explains the 8-minute timeframe for the crime! If the door was bolted shut, the killer would have finished off Lincoln without any interference!")

HOLD IT! "You said Lincoln died?"

"Yeah, he wasn't moving at all."

OBJECTION!

"Savino is obviously grasping at straws here! Present some evidence or stop wasting the court's time!" Mr. Mittenthal rebuffs

"I have to agree, Mr. Savino! Present some evidence!" The judge orders

"I AM, judge McGowan." Prosecutor Savino replies

"How so?"

"Remember what Luna said in her testimony earlier?"

"He wasn't screaming for help, he wasn't moving, he was murdered in front of us, he died."

"So? What evidence are you presenting to the court, show it to us!"

"It's not the evidence, it's a **LACK** of evidence! Didn't you see that there was no autopsy report in the court record?"

The judge has a surprised reaction!

"Yes, your honor, Luna testified that Lincoln was killed by the assailant, but the lack of an autopsy report proves that Lincoln **DIDN'T DIE**! In fact, detective Marshall even went by their house and told them that Lincoln didn't **DIE** , he was beaten so badly he was knocked into a **COMA**!"

"That's absolutely correct! Ms. Loud, explain the contradiction in your testimony!"

"Ok, your honor, it's simple. I thought my bro had died because he was unconscious and laying in a large pool of his own blood. I didn't touch his body to feel for a pulse, because when the cops arrived, they would have found my fingerprints on his body and suspect ME of murdering my bro! I would never do that!"

"That is a reasonable response…but you still should have made sure he was still alive." The judge scolds

"Yes, your honor…"

"Well then, it seems like Mr. Savino is right, there are still too many unanswered questions. I will grant a second day of investigation, go, and find the true culprit behind this terrible crime! Court adjourned!"

* * *

 **MAY 22, 2017**

 **COURTROOM LOBBY #3**

 **3:58 PM**

"Ugh, that was rough…"

Lisa approaches the prosecutor…

"I gave the detective the evidence for the conviction. Why did you not use it, you dunderhead?!"

"Because the judge is right, we still don't know WHY she did it…"

Lisa relents and leaves, knowing that a genius can't teach an idiot to be smart if they're to ignorant to listen…

("This was a rough first day, but I need to find out the truth…")

"Hey, lawyer dude!" Luna shouted as she approached him "Thanks for reminding me that Lincoln hasn't died yet. I guess the trauma of seeing our little bro beaten like that altered my memories or something…"

!

"Luna, you just gave me an idea on where to find clues next." Prosecutor Savino stated "Now I have a new lead on this case, thanks!"

"Sure, whatever helps you get justice for our bro!" Luna said as she left to rejoin her family.

"Altered memories…I think it's time to pay her a visit…" The bearded prosecutor utters to himself

* * *

 **Author's Note: For the trial days, it's formatted like in Phoenix Wright. The HI system (hybridized inquisitorial) works like this. The jurors deliberate alongside the judge. The juror's foreman delivers a "lesser verdict" of what they think happened, this could sway the judge's decision. But it's still the judge's job to deliver his verdict, the one that matters. Because of this, the ABA has a test that inquisitorial judges must take to make sure that they're both competent and nonbiased. If a judge is found to be biased, he is removed as a judge, and replaced with one who passed the test. This system is highly experimental in America, but if it worked in Japan, it's sure to work here! The hybridized system fixes problems with both systems. Corruption and bias of the judge on the Japanese side, as well as destroying any chances of deadlocks due to hung juries on the American side! It truly is the best of both worlds! The jurists are always swapped out for every case through jury duty, so there's no chance of a "judicial inner circle" like the Prosecutorial Investigation Committee or P.I.C in Gyakuten Kenji 2, because anyone who's played that game knows how well THAT turned out.**

* * *

 **When prosecutor Savino cross-examines a Loud sibling. He does it similar to the Phoenix Wright games. Here is a cross section of the cross examination of Luna Louds' testimony, Sound of Silence:**

Alright, so after I heard Lincoln scream, I rushed over to his room to help my bro!

HOLD IT! "You rushed in to save Lincoln?"

"Of course, Mr. Savino, wouldn't you save your siblings if they were in trouble?"

("fair point, I'd better let her continue her testimony.")

But the door was wicked stuck, so Lola and pops busted it down, we then saw Lynn brutalizing Lincoln's body.

HOLD IT! "The door was stuck?"

"Yeah, dude, Lola tried opening it, it didn't budge."

"So, the door was LOCKED, then?"

"You got it, brah."

("That explains the 8-minute timeframe for the crime! If the door was bolted shut, the killer would have finished off Lincoln without any interference!")

* * *

 **Yeah, like every other Phoenix Wright player, he starts on the witness' first sentence of their testimony, presses further, and moves on to the next sentence until he goes through the entire testimony. Luckily, this isn't like Rise From the Ashes, where Phoenix had to press a witness' statement TWICE before the game proceeded further. As for why he didn't present the Bloodstained Bat, even though it would have convicted Lynn? Well, remember in Rise From The Ashes, when chief of police Damon Gant had a piece of cloth as evidence, but it was illegal? Well, a similar situation happens here. This is the dialogue that occurs when you present the Bloodstained Bat right off the bat:**

"TAKE THAT!" Prosecutor Savino presents the Bloodstained Bat "This is the murder weapon that was used to bludgeon Lincoln to near death! Detective Marshall had it tested for fingerprints and they are a 100% match to Lynn Jr!"

"I see, then there is no other reason to continue this trial... do you, jurors?"

The jurors murmur...

The judge bangs his gavel...

"I agree, we find the defendant, Lynn Loud Jr..." the judge begins to say

OBJECTION!

We see a dramatic close up of prosecutor Savino's face, the judge's face and finally, defense attorney Mittenthal's face, looking smug

"What is it, Mr. Mittenthal?" The judge asks

"Obviously that bat would have Lynn's fingerprints on it...because she OWNS that bat!" Defense attorney Mittenthal announces

The jurors murmur...

The judge bangs his gavel...

"Order in the court!" The judge commands "Mr. Mittenthal, what are you saying?!"

"Those fingerprints mean nothing! Unless you can find a way to tie the murder weapon to my client, this accusation is baseless!"

("Do I really have evidence that can prove Lynn used it at the time of the attack?! No...I don't...")

"See, he doesn't have anything!" Defense attorney Mittenthal boasted "Hand down your verdict now!"

The judge glances over at prosecutor Savino, who can't come up with anything to counter defense attorney Mittenthal's argument.

"I declare the defendant, Lynn Loud Jr..."

 **NOT GUILTY**

"...of the attempted murder of Lincoln Loud. Alright, Case docket #137427..." the judge's voice fades out

* * *

A bad ending similar to the one from the end of Phoenix Wright: Justice For All Plays

"And just like that, the case came to an end. I willfully disbarred myself from law and severed all ties with the justice system. I let that family down. They still visit him every day, hoping vainly that their precious brother would wake up from his coma. They heard the bad news on April 26. Lincoln Loud was declared deceased on April 26, 2018. At least he'll be reunited with his beloved sister again. I heard from Mr. Loud that Lynn Jr has taken over as the alpha female once Lincoln and Lana were disposed of, their family has become broken. "Hope" never came. Perhaps it wasn't meant to. Because "hope" is something that always fails us."

THE END

* * *

 **But wait, I hear you type in the review section! Prosecutor Savino has the Crime Scene Footage, why doesn't he present that? Because, this is supposed to be like the video game, the "player" isn't supposed to do this yet, so there is no prompt to present the Crime Scene Footage once prosecutor Savino presents the Bloodstained Bat. It's a "soft-lock", so that people who know the answer already won't skip through most of the trial. It wouldn't be interesting for a 3-day murder trial to end within 5 minutes (unless it was a tutorial, but this case isn't one). On an unrelated note...I accidently made Luna Loud, a good girl, sound like that vile human, Matt Engarde...oops. That was awkward when I first noticed it.**

* * *

 **These tracks will always be used in these locations/on these testimonies, unless specified:**

 **Royal Woods 9th Precinct: Detective Gumshoe's theme  
** **Loud House: Reminiscence/True Evening of Grief  
** **Courtroom Lobby #3: Courtroom Lounge/Beginning Prelude  
** **Trial Room #3: Trial (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney version)  
** **Loud Sibling Testimony: Examination/Moderate 2002  
** **Loud Sibling Cross Examination: Examination/Allegro 2002**


	34. A Special Person's Diagnosis

"Oh, the feeling that everyone around you is an enemy. Heh heh. I know it all too well. The tiniest spark can set off an explosion of fear, resulting in...horrific mutual destruction."-Sōta Sarushiro, April 6, 2019

 **Chapter Synopsis: Prosecutor Savino confronts true evil; The 2nd day of the trial**

* * *

 **May 23, 2017**

 **Royal Woods 9th Precinct**

 **8:25 AM**

Prosecutor Savino talks to detective Marshall to see if he's found anything new concerning the Loud case. He says no, but he did forget to hand over a piece of evidence because he forgot it was evidence.

"You forgot to give me a piece of evidence?" Prosecutor Savino questions, slightly annoyed

"It slipped my mind. I didn't remember it was evidence until you already left! But since you're here now…here are the floor plans to the Loud house. That small child with the green sweater said that we could construct a 2D model of the crime with this." Detective Marshall admits

*Loud House Floor Plans added to organizer

"I'd like to speak with the defendant." Prosecutor Savino says

"Ok, she's been sorted into a detention center, go get her!"

* * *

 **May 23, 2017**

 **Detention Center**

 **8:43 AM**

"Alright, kid. Someone decided to visit you!" The guard inside bellows

Lynn Jr goes up to the window, Prosecutor Savino is on the other side. He attempts to talk to her.

"Lynn, do you know who I am?" Prosecutor Savino questions

"Yeah, you're supposed to be the guy who's going to convict me. You did a terrible job by the way." Lynn rebukes

"I just want to know…why did you try to kill your own brother?"

 _Search: Core 2002_ from _Phoenix Wright: Justice For All_ plays!

[5 red psyche locks appear! Prosecutor Savino can't see them, but WE can!]

"Why don't you look at your precious evidence? You could have saved all of us the trouble and just presented it to the judge, instead you're dragging this out!" Lynn scolds

"You want evidence?"

Prosecutor Savino presents the Bloodstained Bat!

TAKE THAT! "This was the murder weapon that was used in the attack, it has YOUR fingerprints on it! Therefore, only YOU could have committed the crime!"

[One of the psyche locks shatter, 4 more to go!]

"So, you're finally competent enough to present evidence? Well then, tell me… how many times did I attack my brother?"

Prosecutor Savino presents Lynn's Confession!

TAKE THAT! "In your written confession to the police, you said you attacked Lincoln 47 times with a metal bat! Wait…47 times? That seems like overkill!"

"Ha! I just wanted to make sure he was dead. I didn't want him to testify about the attack if he lived, it would look bad, you know!" Lynn says while laughing manically

[A second psyche lock shatters, 3 more to go]

"I know why you did it!" Prosecutor Savino claims

"Of course, it's in the confession, you dummy!" Lynn rebuffs

"The reason you committed this heinous crime is…!"

Prosecutor Savino presents Lana's Profile!

TAKE THAT! "It was because of your sister, wasn't it? Didn't you say in the confession you wanted to get revenge for her?!"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

[The last 3 psyche locks shatter!]

"Well, I think it's time for you to meet her now…"

"Lynn?"

Lynn flips her hair; her ponytail covers up her right eye!

"How do you do, Mr. Prosecutor, I'm Lynn Loud!"

Prosecutor Savino seems unnerved. He knows that Lynn committed the crime, heck, she even admitted to the attack, but the way she just revealed the information…it seems almost psychotic. He feels he's seen this somewhere before…

* * *

"…Well, I guess it's probably about time anyway."

"About time for what?"

"I think it's time for you to meet him now, Mr. Lawyer dude."

[shatter, shatter, shatter!]

The defendant flips the hair coving his left eye, revealing a claw mark over it, he picks up a cognac glass filled with…some sort of brown liquid (most likely bourbon).

"How do you do, Mister Lawyer? I'm _Matt Engarde_!"

* * *

Nevertheless, Prosecutor Savino continues to question her. He reiterates his first question.

"Why did you try to kill your brother?"

"Because he killed our sister!"

"Really, how?"

"With firecrackers!"

!

"The murder weapons that were used to kill the victim…were firecrackers! But Lincoln didn't do it, he isn't a murderer!"

("So, that's what Leni was talking about!")

Lynn continues on with her rant.

"The incident was written off as a "tragic accident", but I know the truth, he killed her, and since our police force wouldn't arrest him, I decided to enact vigilante justice on him. He took away her life, so I'll take away his!"

Prosecutor Savino leaves the detention center, having gotten all the information he could out of Lynn. He decides to find out the root of the problem…

* * *

 **May 23, 2017**

 **Psychology Diagnostic Building**

 **12:26 PM**

Prosecutor Savino decides to go to the Psychology Diagnostic building to understand HOW Lynn Jr is capable of such destructive actions. He enters the building and talks to the receptionist.

"Oh, Mr. Savino!" The receptionist exclaims "I already know who you want to see, and she'll be so happy to see you again…" She gets on the intercom

"Paging Dr. Cristina to the front desk, you have a visitor."

A red-haired woman approaches him, she appears to have a vibrant and bubbly personality, similar to Leni.

"Chris, it's been such a long time since we've seen each other!" Cristina said to the bearded prosecutor "How have you been?"

"Great, I need some consultation for a case, and since you're an expert in psychology, I figured you're the perfect candidate!"

"Wait, this isn't about the Loud case, is it?" Cristina asked him

"Yes, why?"

"Bob brought his client over for a psych evaluation yesterday, so I can't help you without violating doctor-patient privilege."

("So, Mr. Mittenthal had Lynn diagnosed? What is he trying to do?")

"But, there IS a way I CAN help you without breaking the privilege." Cristina said with a beaming smile "Here, this book will tell you all you need to know about how the patients work, YOU can perform the diagnosis yourself!"

*DSM5 Disorder Book added to organizer

("The DSM5? Does that mean…")

"I wish we could chat more, but it looks like the time for the 2nd day of the trial is almost here. Good Luck, Chris!" Cristina shouted at him

("Is it really that late? I'd better get to the courtroom, and fast!")

* * *

 **May 23, 2017**

 **Trial Room #3**

 **2:36 PM**

"Ok, we have reconvened for the second day of Lynn's trial. Prosecutor Savino, did you get the evidence needed so that we can end this trial?"

"Yes, judge McGowan. We have enough to convict now." Prosecutor Savino reassures him

"Very well, now call your first witness."

"Yes, your honor. The prosecution calls Luan Loud to the stand."

Luan takes the stand, Prosecutor Savino asks her a series of questions.

"You said to detective Marshall that you tried to help Lincoln?"

"Yes."

"But Luna held you back, correct?"

"Yes."

"Ok then, testify what you did that day."

 **TESTIMONY-NO LAUGHING MATTER**

As soon as Lola and dad broke the door down, we saw Lynn beating the tar out of Lincoln's body. I tried to help our brother, but Luna pulled me back, saying it was too dangerous. Lisa tried to incapacitate her with a stun gun but failed. Lola tasered her in the shoulder and knocked her out. Lisa then ordered me to handcuff her, but she woke up and broke free. Lisa electrocuted her again and I tied her up so that she wouldn't attack our brother anymore.

"Ok, Savino. Cross examine…wait a minute, this is **YOUR** witness, so Mr. Mittenthal, cross-examine this witness, if you could."

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-NO LAUGHING MATTER**

As soon as Lola and dad broke the door down, we saw Lynn beating the tar out of Lincoln's body. I tried to help our brother, but Luna pulled me back, saying it was too dangerous. Lisa tried to incapacitate her with a stun gun but failed. Lola tasered her in the shoulder and knocked her out. Lisa then ordered me to handcuff her, but she woke up and broke free. Lisa electrocuted her again and I tied her up so that she wouldn't attack our brother anymore.

Mr. Mittenthal presents the AV Incapacitator!

TAKE THAT! "This wouldn't happen to be the "stun gun" would it?" Mr. Mittenthal questions

OBJECTION! "How did you get that?" Prosecutor Savino declares "Detective Marshall didn't have a stun gun processed as evidence!"

"While you were interrogating my client, a small child wearing a green sweater gave detective Marshall the stun gun as evidence! Since you were busy, he shared it with ME! But now that its presence is known, I'll share it with you!"

*AV Incapacitator added to court record

"Yes, that's what Lisa and Lola used…" Luan affirms

("Where is he going with this?") Prosecutor Savino thought

"What is your point, Mr. Mittenthal?" Judge McGowan questions

"This isn't an ordinary stun gun, your honor. It has a setting to adjust the voltage and current. What I'm saying is…"

Mr. Mittenthal has an epic backsplash portrait while the " _Investigation: Cornered_ " theme plays!

"The witness tried to KILL my client with the stun gun! As you can see, the stun gun has an ampere setting, and as we all remember from anatomy class, you just need 1 ampere of current to completely stop the heart! The stun gun was set to 450 amps!"

Luan is taken aback, her squirting flower squirts water in her face!

OBJECTION! "Are you just cherry picking her testimony?" Prosecutor Savino inquires "She testified who wielded the stun gun!"

* * *

"Ok then, Savino! Who set the stun gun to 450 amps if it wasn't Luan? Show us their picture, now!" Defense attorney Mittenthal challenges

("The one who would set the stun gun to 450 amps…it could only be her!")

"Ok, the one who set the stun gun's current to 450 amps was…!"

Prosecutor Savino presents Lisa's Profile!

TAKE THAT! "Simple, the only one who could have set the current that high was the one who made the stun gun herself, it was Lisa!"

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

OBJECTION! "Any brainless monkey can turn a knob! Your honor, help me out here!"

SUSTAINED! "Mr. Savino, he's right, what makes Lisa the one to set the current? Why not Lola?"

"Simple, because unlike Lola, Lisa had an ulterior motive!"

The judge is taken by surprise!

"A motive?! Savino, what was Lisa's motive for setting the current that high?!"

"Simple, your honor, it's the same reason why we're here now! She wanted to get revenge!"

"Revenge? For what?"

"Not **WHAT** , your honor, **WHO** …"

OBJECTION! "Your honor, Prosecutor Savino is desperate to win his case…" Mr. Mittenthal began to say

OBJECTION! "I have proof, the evidence that shows WHO Lisa was getting revenge for is…!"

Prosecutor Savino presents Lana's Profile!

"Oh, It's a picture of a beautiful young girl." The judge said calmly

"I'm glad you agree, your honor. You see, this is Lana Loud…she was killed in a tragic accident."

"My, how terrible!" The judge exclaims

OBJECTION! "What does this pitiful sob story prove?!" Mr. Mittenthal derides

OVERRULED! "Continue, Prosecutor Savino, I'm sure we'd all want to know what happens next…" Judge McGowan states

"Well, Lisa most likely speculated that there was foul play involved and she found the true criminal behind Lana's death…"

OBJECTION! "Speculative." Mr. Mittenthal declares

"If you really feel that way, I call Lisa Loud to the stand!"

* * *

Lisa takes the stand…

"Testify about how the stun gun was used to incapacitate Lynn." Prosecutor Savino nudges

 **TESTIMONY-SHOCK AND AWE**

I heard Lincoln's screams while Lola was attempting to bust down the door. Knowing that someone was attacking him, I went back to my room to fetch my custom-made stun gun. When I returned, the door was broken down and we saw Lynn murdering Lincoln. I tried to taser her, but she just picked me up and threw me away. Lola tasered her in the right shoulder. I took the taser from her and set the setting to ampere mode at 450 amps. I wanted to kill her to avenge Lana!

"Well, now we know that Lisa is the one who DID set the stun gun to 450 amps! Mr. Mittenthal, your response?" Judge McGowan inquired

"I see nothing wrong with her testimony, get Savvy to cross-examine her." Mr. Mittenthal taunts

"Very well, Mr. Savino, your witness."

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-SHOCK AND AWE**

I heard Lincoln's screams while Lola was attempting to bust down the door. Knowing that someone was attacking him, I went back to my room to fetch my custom-made stun gun. When I returned, the door was broken down and we saw Lynn murdering Lincoln. I tried to taser her, but she just picked me up and threw me away. Lola tasered her in the right shoulder. I took the taser from her and set the setting to ampere mode at 450 amps. I wanted to kill her to avenge Lana!

HOLD IT! "If you heard Lincoln screaming, why didn't you help Lola break the door down?!"

"Because, our elder brother is a dead-weight! If he died…we'd be better off! So, I prioritized getting a weapon to subdue the assailant rather than save our brother."

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"You tell 'em, Lis!" Lynn Jr shouts from the defense counsel

"Order in the court!" Judge McGowan exclaims "Mr. Mittenthal, control your client before I hold her in contempt of court!"

"Yes, your honor."

"Alright then, continue your testimony…" The judge reassures Lisa

HOLD IT! "The stun gun was custom-made?"

"Yes, do you see any other stun guns with an ampere setting?"

"…yes, but most of them have volts instead of amps. Even the most powerful stun gun in the world has 50 million volts, but only 50 amps, how can yours have 450 amps?!"

"Like I said, the stun gun was custom-made to incapacitate or to kill the attacker."

"Alright, continue."

HOLD IT! "How did you know it was Lynn?"

"Because she's the only one who wears her hair in a ponytail."

OBJECTION! "Luan also wears her hair in a ponytail!" Mr. Mittenthal points out

"But Luan already testified that Luna held her back the entire time, therefore she couldn't have used the stun gun." Prosecutor Savino shoots back

"Agreed, Lynn and Luan are the only Loud sisters who have ponytails, and since it can't be Luan…it must be Lynn." The judge reasoned "Lisa, please continue your testimony."

HOLD IT! "Where exactly did you try to taser her?"

"Easy, I tried to taser her pelvic area."

("Lisa, too much information!") Prosecutor Savino thought

"Why?"

"Because, to incapacitate someone, you have to strike a pressure point to render them unconscious. Seeing as that area has a bundle of nerve clusters, it would only make sense to strike that area to have the highest chance of incapacitation."

"You said TRIED TO, how come it failed?"

"She was wearing a jockstrap at the time."

"…Continue on with the rest of your testimony."

HOLD IT! "So, Lola was the one who rendered her unconscious?"

"That is correct."

"You said she was tasered in the right shoulder, correct?"

"Yes."

("That could be useful later on… I'd better keep that fact in mind!")

"Ok, continue."

HOLD IT! "Why did you set the current to 450 amps?!"

"I'll tell you."

HOLD IT! "How would this avenge Lana?!"

"Simple, I would have killed the person who murdered her!"

Prosecutor Savino presents Lynn's Confession!

TAKE THAT! "Lisa, you claim that Lynn is responsible for Lana's death, right?"

"Of course, that's the obvious answer."

Prosecutor Savino also gets an epic backsplash portrait while "Investigation: Cornered" plays!

"Then why does it say in Lynn's confession that **LINCOLN** was the one who murdered Lana?!"

"Why that's simple, my dumbass prosecutor. She's obviously framing Lincoln to take the fall. But since that is a different case from this one, we'll leave it for now. Can I go back to my family now, your honor?"

"Yes, you've done enough." Judge McGowan acknowledges. Lisa heads back to her family.

"Your honor, I'd like to call my last witness for today, Leni Loud!" Prosecutor Savino decries

* * *

"Ok, Leni! Take the stand!"

Leni takes the stand. Prosecutor Savino attempts to talk to her.

"Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you, god?" Prosecutor Savino questions Leni

"Yes." Leni replies

"Ok, now then, would you please tell the court what you saw on the day of May 20, 2017 at 2:36 AM?"

 _Yumihiko Ichiyanagi/Ichiryuu's Reasoning_ from Gyakuten Kenji 2 plays

 **TESTIMONY-WHAT I SAW**

Ok, so it was about 7:32 PM when I noticed something sparkly hidden in the grass. I overheard Lynn asking Lana to retrieve a basketball that was embedded in some dried mud. I then heard explosions going off and saw Luan helping the victim.

The entire court has a dumbfounded expression and are looking at Leni.

"What? That's the truth! Didn't you guys say you wanted the truth?" Leni questions them

"Mr. Mittenthal? Cross-examine the witness?" The judge asks him dumbfoundedly

"No, that statement is so full of holes that I move to strike her entire testimony off the record!"

"Considering that what she said has NOTHING to do with the case, I agree. Leni's testimony is stricken."

("Why did Leni say that? She said it was the truth… Is there something bigger going on?")

"Either way, I claim my client not guilty due to mental defect!" Defense attorney Mittenthal declares

* * *

 **"WHAT?!"** Everyone in the court shouts

"What the heck are you doing?!" Lynn Jr shouts at him

"Getting you free."

"Your honor, I urge the jury to disregard the defense attorney's outburst and change my plea to guilty!" Lynn demands

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"It's not your call, Mr. Mittenthal, what is the basis for your claim?"

"I had my client take a psych evaluation and was declared temporarily insane during the time of the attack."

OBJECTION! "Are you seriously claiming an insanity defense? Your honor, I can prove that this claim is baseless!"

"Oh yeah, how are you going to prove it?!" Defense attorney Mittenthal challenges "Please, provide the evidence that proves I'm lying!"

Prosecutor Savino presents the DSM5 Disorder Book!

TAKE THAT!

"Huh? The DSM5? What's that going to prove?" Mr. Mittenthal questions

"It will prove I'm competent enough to commit the crime!" Lynn Jr said to him "So, I'm kind of hoping he wins the argument this time. Because jail is better than the loony bin, in my opinion!"

* * *

"Mr. Savino? Are you claiming Ms. Loud has a mental disorder?" Judge McGowan asks

"No, I'm saying she has a **PERSONALITY** disorder. In the DSM5, there are 10 different personality disorders. 3 for Cluster A: Odd, 4 for Cluster B: Dramatic and 3 for Cluster C: Anxious. The one the court should focus on is in the "dramatic" cluster."

OBJECTION! "Which of the 4 disorders does my client have, tell it to us, or let the trial end already!" Mr. Mittenthal complains

"Easy, she has ASPD!" Prosecutor Savino declares

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"Mr. Savino?! Are you saying Ms. Loud is a sociopath?!" Judge McGowan said with a completely shocked expression

OBJECTION! "The DSM5 says to be diagnosed with ASPD, you need to be at least 18 for the test to work!" Mr. Mittenthal cries out

"You're right, but it **ALSO** says that it has onsets in adolescence." Prosecutor Savino points out

"You don't mean…?!"

"I do, Bob! She has conduct disorder, the precursor to antisocial personality disorder!"

"What a dramatic development!" Luan and Judge McGowan said at the same time

"Oh, come on! Your honor, he's just dragging this out!"

"No, I want to see where this is heading, continue, Mr. Savino."

"Thank you, your honor. People who have conduct disorder don't follow rules, don't care about other people and do things impulsively without thinking of the consequences. It manifests itself in four different ways, aggression, deceit, destruction, and rule breaking." Savino explains "And to help with the diagnosis, I call Lynn's roommate, Lucy Loud, to the stand!"

* * *

Lucy appears on the stand, frightening everyone!

"Alright Lucy, please tell us, how does Lynn typically interact with other siblings?" Prosecutor Savino inquires

 **TESTIMONY-SIBLING RIVALRY**

Lynn usually is the up-in-your-face athlete. She is obsessed with competition and trying to prove she's number 1 in anything she does. If someone beats her in anything, she usually complains that "she was going easy" or something like that. But if she wins, she gloats about it until we get tired of hearing how great she is. Lynn will do ANYTHING to win, and that includes cheating. She generally reacts indifferent to most of the siblings, but she does have slight behavioral changes with Lincoln and the twins. With Lola, it's like she's a mentor to her, teaching her how to defend herself and training her to be a winner. With Lincoln, she always singles him out for any type of competition. He usually loses, which infuriates her, I guess she's expecting the only brother in our family to put up more of a challenge. She was wrong…Lincoln is actually one of the weakest members of our family. With Lana…she does something I never thought Lynn Loud would ever do. Care for our siblings, she always holds back when Lana challenges her. She even stops beating our brother to a bloody pulp when Lana's around!

"Wow, that was an extremely long testimonial! Prosecutor Savino! This is the last testimony for today! Prove that Mr. Mittenthal's insanity claim is baseless and we will come back here for the 3rd and final day of the trial. If not, then I will pass judgement now!"

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-SIBLING RIVALRY**

Lynn usually is the up-in-your-face athlete. She is obsessed with competition and trying to prove she's number 1 in anything she does. If someone beats her in anything, she usually complains that "she was going easy" or something like that. But if she wins, she gloats about it until we get tired of hearing how great she is. Lynn will do ANYTHING to win, and that includes cheating. She generally reacts indifferent to most of the siblings, but she does have slight behavioral changes with Lincoln and the twins. With Lola, it's like she's a mentor to her, teaching her how to defend herself and training her to be a winner. With Lincoln, she always singles him out for any type of competition. He usually loses, which infuriates her, I guess she's expecting the only brother in our family to put up more of a challenge. She was wrong…Lincoln is actually one of the weakest members of our family. With Lana…she does something I never thought Lynn Loud would ever do. Care for our siblings, she always holds back when Lana challenges her. She even stops beating our brother to a bloody pulp when Lana's around!

HOLD IT! "So, Lynn is the athletic type?"

"Yes."

"Go on…"

HOLD IT! "What kind of competitions?"

"Any kind of sport. I remember when she tried to kick a field goal in the house. Lincoln saved it with an epic dive."

"Ok…please continue."

HOLD IT! "She won't accept the fact that she lost?"

"Yes, this whole thing started because Lynn lost a baseball qualifier round, even though our city's team made it to the finals, she still punished Lincoln for it, by him merely being there at the time."

("Hmm…when people lose a contest, they usually don't murder a person that was cheering for them to WIN. Something is wrong here…but what?")

"Lucy, continue with your testimony!" Judge McGowan orders

HOLD IT! "She gloats when she wins? For how long?"

OBJECTION! "What does this have to do with anything?" Defense attorney Mittenthal groans

"This **ENTIRE TESTIMONY** is to prove that Lynn has conduct disorder! Are you even paying attention to the trial?!" Prosecutor Savino decries

"I agree, this testimony will prove to us what kind of person Lynn is. Lucy, please answer Mr. Savino's question." Judge McGowan responds

"About a month." Lucy answers

"That's not very sportsmanlike."

"No. And we don't want to hear how she won 100 times over! Just once is enough!" Lucy yells

"Order! The witness will refrain from shouting!" Judge McGowan states "Continue with the testimony, Ms. Loud."

HOLD IT! "Lynn would resort to **CHEATING** , just to win?!"

"Yes. I overheard it when Lynn and Lincoln were lucha libre wrestling with each other. She said "Hey no fair, that's cheating…I like the way you think!""

("Even though the "Violation of Rules" section meant like running away from home or being truant from school, this is still technically a rule violation. She's a pragmatist, isn't she?")

"Ok, continue."

HOLD IT! "What do you mean by "acting indifferent?""

"She helps them out if she can. She has a smile on her face, but it doesn't seem like she **FEELS** anything while doing stuff with them…and I thought I was dead inside…"

"Alright, continue your testimony."

HOLD IT! "Lynn was a mentor to Lola?"

"Yes. When a burglar was in the area robbing houses, Lynn tried to teach Lola and Leni to defend themselves. Leni failed miserably, but Lola **DESTROYED** our test dummy burglar. Lynn also taught Lola to have a competitive, winning attitude, so that's why I think Lola acts so hostile towards us."

"Please, continue…"

HOLD IT! "Lynn challenges Lincoln because he's her brother?"

OBJECTION! "That's sexist!" Mr. Mittenthal complained like an SJW

"No, I'll answer it, yes. I was hoping he would provide some sort of challenge to our competitions. He didn't." Lynn Jr replies back

"Continue with your testimony."

HOLD IT! "Lincoln is one of the weakest members of your family?"

"He reads comics and plays video games all day, what do you expect?"

"Alright, continue."

HOLD IT! "What does Lynn never do?"

"I was getting to that…"

HOLD IT! "You mean Lynn never cared for her other siblings before?!"

"No, it's just that it seems she cares more about Lana than anyone else."

("This could be a valuable piece of information later…I'd better keep it in mind for later…")

HOLD IT! "Lynn has beaten up Lincoln before?!"

"Yes, many times, in fact."

OBJECTION! "Prosecutor Savino is completely wrong, Lynn doesn't have ASPD, she has NPD!"

OBJECTION!" No, because even if Lynn has some symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, Lucy's earlier statement proves she has ASPD! She said that "Lynn feels indifferent to her other siblings, aside from Lola, Lana and Lincoln!" There's also the fact that she beats Lincoln up all the time, which falls into the "Aggressive" category! She is a sociopath, and Lucy's testimony corroborates that fact!"

"Oh yeah, prove it, if Lynn WAS 18 years old, how would she be a sociopath?!" Mr. Mittenthal taunts

Prosecutor Savino presents the DSM5 Disorder Book!

TAKE THAT!

* * *

"The DSM5 guidelines for antisocial personality disorder are as follows: A) A disregard and violation for the rights of others of at least 3 of these 7 things starting from age 15:

1\. Performing acts that would be considered a criminal act: that's why we're here now!  
2\. Any kind of deception: no, because Lynn is an aggressor, not a manipulator  
3\. Impulsive: yes…  
4\. Aggressive: **YES!**  
5\. Disregard for others' safety: she tried to murder her brother…  
6\. Irresponsible: as Lucy stated in her testimony, she cannot accept losing, she usually blames it on something else.  
7\. No remorse: she confessed to almost killing her brother without even shedding a tear, heck…In the confession, she ADMITS that she wants Lincoln dead!

Conclusion: Lynn having 6 of the 7 traits, when all you need is 3, yep, she passes stage 1…

B) Having conduct disorder prior to age 15, Lucy and I have already proved that with her testimony.

C) The antisocial behavior is not associated with schizophrenia… well, Lynn? Are you hearing voices in your head telling you to kill Lincoln?

Lynn Jr responds happily: "Nope, I'm not a crazy person! I wanted to murder Lincoln on my own accord. There was no voice in my head telling me to do it. It was ALL my plan, and mine alone!"

"There you go, judge McGowan. If Lynn was 18, she would have definitely been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. She fits all 3 criteria, as well as **DOUBLE** the number of criteria needed for the "A" section of the diagnosis. This means that defense attorney Mittenthal's claim is baseless, because Lynn was **AWARE** of what she was doing the whole time! Therefore, the insanity defense falls apart!"

Mr. Mittenthal is taken aback in shock while his perfect hair fractures into a bowl haircut! He looks like that Canadian pop singer now, he's hideous!

"OK, that's all we needed to hear! We will be back here to finally pass judgement on this crime! It's getting really late, you should get some sleep to prepare for the last day." Judge McGowan advises them

* * *

 **May 23, 2017**

 **COURTROOM LOBBY #3**

 **8:48 PM**

("The family is probably not going to be happy that I diagnosed their daughter with ASPD… here they come now…")

The Loud family approaches him…he prepares to get a verbal thrashing for the ASPD incident…

"Hey, thanks…" Lisa congratulates him.

"What for?" Prosecutor Savino questioned

"For destroying that defense attorney's insanity defense." Lisa replies "Also, Lynn having conduct disorder…that makes a lot of sense, because she's ALWAYS been aggressive to us, one way or another." Lisa postulates

"Really?"

"Yeah, now you just need to finish it. Prove Lynn committed the crime…and get justice for our brother." Lisa said resolutely as she walked away, Luan approaches him.

"So, Lynn is a sociopath, huh?" Luan questions

"I guess so, Luan." Prosecutor Savino replies

"You know…I thought I was a psychopath, so I got myself diagnosed by a red-haired lady named Cristina, she has a great sense of humor, by the way…anyway, I felt I had it because of a lack of inhibitions, like doing something without feeling bad. But, to my surprise, she said no. She said it was because psychopaths are incapable of feeling emotion, but she says I'm brimming with emotion! So, please, Mr. Savino…don't let this vile murderer get away!" Luan clarifies

"I won't."

Luan leaves; Prosecutor Savino approaches Leni

"Leni, what were you talking about earlier, while you were on the stand?"

"Oh, you mean the LL-4 Incident?" Leni enquires

* * *

"What is LL-4?"

"Oh, Linky was playing a video game with all these codes that are attached to certain police cases. UR-1, SS-5, DL-6, IS-7, KG-8 and SL-9 are the ones he solved. If he was a police detective, there would BE no more cold case files, because all of those were cold cases!

!

The track _Hotline of Fate_ from Phoenix Wright: Justice for All plays!

"Did you say DL-6?!"

"Yeah, why?" Leni asks "Is something wrong? Did that overly dressed old man with the demon voice not kill the defense attorney in the elevator on December 28?"

"Leni, do you remember the old man's name?" Prosecutor Savino asks in a panic

"Yeah, it was _Manfred von Karma_ , I believe." Leni answers "Was I right?"

"Yes, but are you telling me you think this trial is JUST A GAME?!" Prosecutor Savino chastises

"No, because Lynn DID hurt Linky! I just thought it would be cool to give the previous "cold case" a cool sounding police-designation just like in Linky's video game! Did I mess up, Mr. Savino?" Leni cries

"No, you didn't, but what were you talking about? That stuff had nothing to do with Lynn's attempted murder of Lincoln."

 _Reminiscence: IS-7 Incident_ from Gyakuten Kenji 2 plays…

* * *

"It's time I told you the truth. I witnessed the precursor case to this. I saw who killed Lana that fateful day on April 26, 2017 at precisely 7:48 PM. I saw Lynn lure Lana out of her room…she was the one that planted the basketball in the mud, she was the one who laid 18 firecrackers hidden in the grass. I even saw her press the detonator that set off the firecrackers! But…that ISN'T the case you're prosecuting, but…you know the truth, you just can't tell anyone you know it, because only we know, and this testimony is unofficial, they'll just denounce it the moment anything LL-4 related comes up. But that's why Lynn wants to kill Lincoln, he's her scapegoat for LL-4, she shifted HER blame for the crime to him, and then tried to kill him for it, all because she can't accept the fact that the "tragic mistake" was her fault!" Leni clarifies

The normal _Trial_ theme from the first Phoenix Wright plays…

"Wow…so that's how this all started?" Prosecutor Savino just looks like his mind got blown by that revelation

"Yes…sorry I ruined your case, Savvy." Leni says solemnly as she walked away, Lucy jumpscares Prosecutor Savino, he reels back and recovers to ask her some questions.

"Lucy, I'm sorry I had to use you as a witness, but since you are roommates with Lynn, I figured you would know about her the most."

"How do you know we're roommates?" Lucy questions

"When I went to help detective Marshall gather evidence from the crime scene, I glanced in each of the rooms, it's the middle one with the red and black color scheme, right?"

"Yeah." Lucy says in a monotonous tone

"So, how are you holding up with the facts?" Prosecutor Savino questions

"I'm fine…but…It really changes your perspective when someone you've been close to for 8 years is secretly someone who can't feel anything…" Lucy shudders at the thought of the idea. "Well, thanks for uncovering the truth…" Lucy heads back to her family

("Tomorrow is the last day of the trial… I **MUST** prove Lynn guilty, and maybe give the Loud family the answers they've been looking for about Lana's death…") Prosecutor Savino ponders this as head heads home to prepare for the turnabout.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Finally, we get some answers as to why Lynn is acting this way! Prosecutor Savino and Dr. Cristina have both diagnosed Lynn with antisocial personality disorder, or in her case, conduct disorder, since she is still an adolescent. It also explains Lynn's bully-like behavior toward her siblings. It seems that Lana was the only one that she showed any true emotions for... Lynn is what's known as a fluctuating sociopath. It means she can flip between low-functioning (aggressor) and high-functioning (manipulator). She prefers low-functioning because it's easier for her and the payoff is much quicker. Would you mug someone for $100 dollars right now, or con $1.7 billion dollars from a rich man's empire, but it will take 8 years? For Lynn, she would choose the day. Lynn is basically a female version of Matt Engarde, and that's scary.**

 **The original plan was to have Luan be a psychopath that cares for her family. I wanted to see who would win between a heroic psychopath and a villainous sociopath. But as I did more research, I found that it is impossible for Luan to be a psychopath because of one major thing. Psychopaths can't feel any emotions. While Luan does have lowered inhibitions, as her April Fool's day prank storms show, she does have genuine emotions toward her siblings. That is why I added that bit of backstory of Luan getting diagnosed by Dr. Cristina, it was a leftover idea that was too cool to just abandon.**

 **2 New tracks were added, here they are.**

 **Psychology Diagnostic Building: MASON System  
** **Detention Center: Police Cell/Jailer's Elegy**

 **It seems that day 2 of the trial has brought major pieces of the case to light! Can prosecutor Savino prove Lynn's culpability? Does defense attorney Mittenthal have an ace up his sleeve? Will a major event happen in true "Phoenix Wright" fashion that will threaten to upheave the entire case in a turnabout of a turnabout?! Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of the trial, next time on Sycophant!**


	35. Trials And Tribulations

"Your "client" is a person who only thinks and plots of how to use the people around them to protect themselves from any and all dangers that may arise. That is the true nature of your "client.""-Phoenix Wright, March 3, 2018, when discussing a certain traitor to someone who values trust above all else...

 **Chapter Synopsis: Lincoln's friends wonder why he isn't at school; The 3rd and final day of the trial**

* * *

 **May 24, 2017**

 **Royal Woods Elementary School (Huggins' Office)**

 **7:59 AM**

We see principal Huggins wandering around his office waiting for the teachers to post their attendance sheets. He gets them but notices a major discrepancy on one of them. On Mrs. Johnson's attendance sheet, everyone is present…except for one…Lincoln Loud.

"Strange, the 3-day suspension has been lifted. Why is Lincoln absent? It's not like him to miss school…" Principal Huggins questions. He then turns on the news channel to soothe his frayed nerves before dealing with those students that disrupt the entire hierarchy of the school system. It's a reporter covering the trial. Wait…it's that brown-haired female reporter that wears a yellow suit! Is she the **ONLY** reporter in all of Royal Woods?!

"We are back with the 3rd and final day of this trial! To recap, Prosecutor Savino has just nullified defense attorney Mittenthal's insanity plea. Oh, here he comes now." The reporter walks up to Mr. Mittenthal "Mr. Mittenthal, how to you feel about the trial, now that the insanity defense is no longer usable?"

"No comment." Mr. Mittenthal replies

"So, what is your plan for acquitting Lynn for the attempted murder charge?"

"No comment."

The reporter notices Prosecutor Savino heading to the courtroom.

"Ok, maybe the prosecution has more information about this case." The reporter tries to question prosecutor Savino but he shuts her down instantly with a barrage of "no comments".

"Well, we'll be covering the thrilling conclusion of this trial. More details as they come out. See you then!"

"Hmm…I wonder what Lynn is on trial for…probably for aggravated assault, she probably lost another competition and took it out on the other team." Principal Huggins reasons. His train of thought was interrupted by the secretary, Cheryl, announcing that someone wanted to see him.

"Principal Huggins, a student wants to discuss something with you." Cheryl shouts over the intercom

"Can't it wait? I have a school to keep watch over…" Principal Huggins said to Cheryl, who was in the room just before his office. He notices a small child at the secretary's desk.

"Wilbur, this kid has something important to talk to you about. Can't you humor his request?" Cheryl questions

Principal Huggins responds with an annoyed "fine". The student enters his office.

* * *

"What is it, Leif?" Principal Huggins questions "I'm very busy trying to keep this place from falling into complete anarchy."

"You've been watching the trial, right? The one that Savino is prosecuting?" Leif asks

"Yes, I just watched a part of it on the news, what about it?" Principal Huggins responds

"Lola has told me that she's severely broken up about this trial. Her older sister, Lynn, is on trial for attempted murder."

"What?!" Principal Huggins is shocked at the severity of the charge

"Even worse, Lola told me the **VICTIM** in the crime was their brother, Lincoln Loud." Leif states

"Oh, so that's why he's not here…"

"Did you catch Luna's testimony 2 days ago?" Leif inquires to him

"Yes."

"Prosecutor Savino's contradiction to her testimony was that Lynn beat him so badly, she knocked him into a coma…I don't think Lola can keep herself together…I'm worried about her."

"So, Lincoln is in a coma…" Principal Huggins reasons "Well, he can't be educated if he's almost dead. Ok Leif, thanks for letting me know. You can head back to class."

Leif heads back to class; The school day progresses as normal…up until lunchtime.

* * *

 **May 24, 2017**

 **Royal Woods Elementary School (Lunchroom)**

 **12:28 PM**

Clyde is hanging around Lincoln's gang of friends, but he too, notices that it has been 5 days since Lincoln has been suspended. He starts asking to see if anyone knows the whereabouts of his best friend.

"Hey guys, have you seen Lincoln around?" Clyde asks

"Nope, haven't seen him."

"No."

"Yeah, where is he?"

Clyde notices Ronnie Anne and tries to talk to her. If anyone would know Lincoln's whereabouts besides his own family and himself, it would be her.

"Hey, Ronnie Anne, have you seen Lincoln around?" Clyde asks her

"Lame-o? I haven't seen him since he got suspended." Ronnie Anne replies

Lola walks up to them and begins to say something, but just before she can, Chandler and his posse come back, yet again! The kid with square glasses and the yellow and green striped shirt goes up and punches Lola in the face, with no hesitation whatsoever!

"That was payback for last time!" The kid mocks her "Look at me, I brought down the tyrant, Lola Loud! Praise me, classmates, you are free!" He said in a stereotypical hammy villain style.

"Easy, kid." Chandler said. Chandler looks considerably beaten since the last time we saw him, he's wearing a neck brace and a rib bracer, thanks to the injuries Lincoln inflicted on him earlier.

"Chandler? What happened to you?" Clyde asks

"Your best friend did this to me! That fucker broke a rib and dented my chest bone. The doctor said it would take 2 months to heal!" Chandler explains

"Yeah? Take back what you said about Lincoln, before I break the remaining 23!" Ronnie Anne threatens

"You don't scare me, you should be scared of the trial!" Chandler taunts

"Alright, that's it!" Ronnie Anne tries to punch chandler in the thoracic cavity, but the fat kid steps in the way and blocks it for him. He still felt the force of the punch and stumbles back a few feet before regaining his composure.

"OW!" The fat kid in the green jacket responds "That really hurt! You owe me, Chandler!"

"Whatever, I just came to rub in your faces that Larry is never coming back!" Chandler mocks

"What are you talking about, cad?!" Lola said as she recovers from the beating she took

"You should know, princess!" Chandler derides her "My dad told me that someone beat Larry up so badly, that they knocked him into a coma!" He locks eyes with Ronnie Anne "That's your fault, isn't it?"

Ronnie Anne tries to punch Chandler, she hits his neck brace…

"Ha, that hurt, but not as much as Larry's hurting right now! Serves him right for beating me up!" Chandler scolds. Lincoln's friends are visibly angry.

"Oh yeah, why do you hate Lincoln so much?" Rusty challenges him

"Don't play that card, Spokes! I already know that you're in a bike gang. I already notified them of your betrayal! Flat Tire, Papa Wheelie, come on out!" Chandler commands. A kid with hazel hair covering his eyes steps forward and shows himself, he's wearing a yellow shirt. A slightly portly kid wearing a red and white striped shirt appears. They speak to Rusty.

"If it isn't Rusty Spokes…" Flat Tire responds "Chandler told us about you being friends with Chain Linc and Two Seats."

"Rusty, seeing as our new leader is on trial for murder, I'm now acting leader of the bike crew. And so, I, Papa Wheelie, kick you, Rusty Spokes, out of our bike crew!"

"NO!" Rusty said overdramatically

"Objection!" Liam shouts "I always wanted to say that. But you said your **LEADER** is on **TRIAL** for murder?!"

"Yeah, Lynnsanity got into a bit of a scuffle, or so I've heard." Papa Wheelie answers "So, I'm temporary acting leader of the bike crew until then, but hey, if she does get sent to prison, I become the leader permanently until she's released."

"So, that means…!" Zach realizes

"¡Serpiente!" Ronnie Anne decries

* * *

 **May 24, 2017**

 **Trial Room #3**

 **4:24 PM**

We see Judge McGowan resuming the trial. The Loud family are anxiously awaiting the verdict.

"Ok, this is the **LAST** day for this trial! We need to convict or acquit Lynn Jr **TODAY**! Prosecutor Savino! What is your opening argument?"

"This."

Prosecutor Savino presents the Loud House Floor Plans!

TAKE THAT!

 _Logic and Trick_ begins to play.

"At 2:36 AM, our victim is here [places an orange V (victim) marker for Lincoln], while the killer is here [places a red K (killer) marker for Lynn]. After the first strike, Lincoln shoots up and tries to escape, but since the door was locked from the inside, he was trapped in there."

OBJECTION! "If the door was locked, why didn't Lincoln open it?" Mr. Mittenthal questions

"Because, the killer would just hit him in the back." Prosecutor Savino responds. He then continues on with the explanation.

"As soon as Lola heard Lincoln scream for his life, she immediately tried to get into the room, here [places a pink marker representing Lola outside Lincoln's room]. The noise woke up Lisa, who then went to grab the stun gun, here [places a green marker representing Lisa inside Lisa and Lily's room, in front of a dresser]. It is now 2:37, and by now, all the Loud siblings have heard Lola trying to bust the door down, so that would place all of them here [places a cyan, seafoam green, purple, yellow and black marker representing all the other sisters outside the door, behind the pink marker]."

OBJECTION! "Where's Lily's marker?" Mr. Mittenthal challenges

"Lily?" Prosecutor Savino questions "She is a baby, so she was here [places a lilac marker representing Lily in the crib in Lisa and Lily's room]. How would Lily even help, Mr. Mittenthal?"

Prosecutor Savino continues with the explanation of the crime.

"It is roughly 2:38 AM and the parents come up to the 2nd floor hallway to see what the commotion is [he places a salmon pink marker representing Rita and a dark green marker representing Lynn Sr]. Lola and Lynn Sr then bust the locked door of off its hinges [moves the dark green and pink markers to the inside of Lincoln's room]. All the siblings are shocked at seeing Lynn savagely beating Lincoln. At 2:39 AM, Luan tries to help save Lincoln [moves yellow marker toward the center of the room] but Luna pulls her back because it's too dangerous [moves purple marker forward and moves both yellow and purple markers back to the entryway]. Lisa then gets the stun gun and heads back to Lincoln's room [moves green marker inside Lincoln's room] she tries to taser her, but fails and the killer throws her back [moves green marker close to the red one and flings it back to the entryway], but, in doing so, Lisa drops the stun gun, so Lola grabs it and tasers the killer in the right shoulder [moves pink marker to the red one and clacks them together], It's 2:40 AM and Lisa tells Luan to tie up the killer so she doesn't finish the job [moves green marker back inside Lincoln's room and moves the yellow one to Luna and Luan's room]. Luan comes back with a pair of handcuffs and cuffs the killer's hands together [moves yellow marker back to Lincoln's room], but she breaks free and Lisa tasers her [clacks green and red markers together]. Luckily, Luan also got some rope and bound the killer's wrists together while Lynn Sr calls the cops."

"Wow, so that's how it went down…" Judge McGowan says incredulously at the elaborate details of the crime

OBJECTION! "I have evidence that proves this is circumstantial!"

Defense attorney Mittenthal presents the Crime Scene Footage!

Mr. Mittenthal has an epic backsplash portrait while the "Investigation: Cornered" theme plays!

TAKE THAT! "Your honor, this is footage recorded from hidden cameras in Lincoln's room. Lisa gave it to detective Marshall as decisive evidence of the crime. And now, it will prove you aren't savvy anymore, Savino!" Mr. Mittenthal cackles manically "We'll compare the 2D model of how Savino claimed how the crime went down to the 3D audio/video HD hidden camera footage that Lisa recorded that day. Luckily, we got footage of 2:36 AM to 2:44 AM, because the footage for May 20 was wiped due to the murder, detective Marshall told me!"

They compare the footage to the 2D model of the crime. We finally see and hear what happened that day…

* * *

2:36: We see Lynn slink over Lincoln's bed. She says "This is for Lana!" and starts her assault. The first strike spreads blood over the eastern wall of the room and into his bedsheets. Lincoln wakes up and tries to escape through the door, but Lynn locked it beforehand. Lynn grabs him and throws him back while she continues.

"Lynn, why are you doing this? Please, stop!" Lincoln pleads

"You should know, dirty sister killer!" Lynn Jr responds

"HELP!" Lincoln shouts

 ***Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!**

We hear the door pounding on the other side. It's Lola, trying to save Lincoln, but, since the door is locked, she can't get through. Even if she uses her rage to attack the door, she is still only a small child. The pounding stops for a moment, then resumes, even more intense than ever. This is when Lisa grabs the stun gun. Lincoln tries to resist, but Lynn is way stronger than him and continues beating down on him!

 ***Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!**

2:37: At this point, Lincoln falls unconscious, helpless to his sister's beating. The pounding on the locked door stopped, but a massive impact is heard. Lynn doesn't care and continues brutalizing Lincoln's body.

 ***Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!**

2:38: Again, the door pounding stops, but this time, the door breaks down and we see Lola and Lynn Sr inside the room from the hidden camera. We also see everyone else at the entryway.

"LINKY!" Lola shrieks

Everyone else is shocked at the depravity of the scene they're witnessing; Their mouths are agape.

 **"LYNN JR! STOP ATTACKING YOUR BROTHER THIS INSTANT!"** Lynn Sr commands. Lynn Jr doesn't hear him…

 ***Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!**

2:39:

"No, I have to save him! We can't lose another sibling!"

Luan tries to rush in to save Lincoln, Luna grabs her arm and yanks her back!

"Luan, don't do it, if you do, you'll end up like him!"

 **"I DON'T CARE!"** Luan shouts "we already lost Lana, we can't lose Lincoln too!" Luan said while holding back tears

"I know how you feel, but WE don't want to lose YOU, either…"

Luan sobs hysterically, Lisa leaves her room and produces the stun gun.

"I got it!" Lisa volunteers. She aims the stun gun at Lynn Jr. Who doesn't seem to care that she's about to be tasered.

Lisa fires the taser at her. It shocks her, but it doesn't seem to incapacitate her!

"Oh no, the voltage was at 5, that was too low to do anything! I have to get closer!" Lisa shouts

Lisa sets the voltage to 450 and approaches Lynn…she looks less like their sister and more like a savage wild animal who's just captured another meal! She tries to taser her genitalia.

"450 volts!"

"What?! There is supposed to be a buildup of nerve clusters down there! She should be unconscious from the tremendous pain the electric shock is causing!" Lisa exclaims. Lynn picks Lisa up and throws her down the hall!"

"She's wearing a cup, that's why it didn't work. Athletes wear them all the time so that THAT area doesn't get damaged during a rough game!" Lucy explains

 ***Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!**

"Alright, how about THIS then!" Lola picks up the taser Lisa dropped and tasers Lynn in the right shoulder. She recoils in pain but is knocked unconscious. Lisa comes back and takes the taser from Lola.

"Thanks, Lola." Lisa sets the AV incapacitator to ampere mode…

"Lis, what are you doing?" Luna questions

"Finishing the job, a 450-amp shock should definitely kill her!" Lisa explains "This is for Lana! I will be the one to avenge her!" Lisa shouts at Lynn. She's just about to deliver the fatal shock…!

2:40:

"Lana…" Lisa responds sadly. Lisa turns the stun gun back to voltage mode.

"Luan, do you still have those prank handcuffs?"

"Yeah, I'd knew they'd come in handy someday." Luan leaves to go to her room, she comes back with a pair of handcuffs and a key, she places the handcuffs on her and tightens them with the key. "There, now Lynn's under lock and key!"

Lynn suddenly comes to and easily breaks free from the handcuffs! Lisa tasers her in the left leg! Lynn is incapacitated once again!

"Aw man! That flimsy piece of plastic wasn't even worth the dollar I spent on it!" Luan complains "Luckily, I brought something stronger!" She takes out a multicolored rope and hogties Lynn! The knots are reversed both vertically and horizontally from Lana's!

"Where did you learn how to tie knots like that?!" Lola inquires

"How did you think your twin did it? She learned it from me! I AM her mentor after all, that's not all the knots I can do. I can do Windsor, Pretzel, Double Diamond, Square, Constrictor, Stomach, Pillow, Butterfly, Monkey's Chain, Monkey's Fist, Monkey, and the hardest one of the set, the Oops Loop. It's the hardest because when you unravel it has to make a sound similar to "loop!"" Luan clarifies

"So, how are you going to discipline Lynn for almost killing our son?" Rita asks Lynn Sr

"I'm not…this is way past the point of disciplining. I know what I have to do, but I never thought I'd have to do it…" Lynn Sr takes out a cellphone and dials a number.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Hello, there's been an attempted murder at 1216 Franklin Ave. My family has incapacitated, captured and restrained the assailant. Send the paramedics immediately!"

"Ok sir, the professionals will be there in about 15 minutes."

* * *

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"Wow, I've seen some gruesome crime scene footage before, but the sheer brutality of this crime just leaves me speechless…" Judge McGowan says in stunned silence

OBJECTION! "I call Lola Loud to the stand!" Mr. Mittenthal says "Only she can corroborate if what Savino said is true!"

Lola takes the stand…she looks so scared…this isn't the Lola Loud we're used to seeing…Mr. Mittenthal questions her with one simple thing.

"Does Prosecutor Savino's recreation of the crime match up with the security camera footage, Lola? Seeing as you were the first responder to the crime, you should know if they match. So, do they?" Defense attorney Mittenthal questions

"Yes, Savvy is correct, his recreation is exactly what happened that day."

"Alright then, testify about how you acted that day."

 **TESTIMONY-SAVING LINCOLN**

I awoke to a terrible scream that woke me up at about 2:36 AM. It was our brother, Lincoln. I tried to enter the room, but it was locked, so I tried to break the door down. Lisa woke up and went into her room to grab the stun gun. All the noise I was making brought our entire family to Lincoln's bedroom. We all broke the door down and we all saw Lynn ravaging Lincoln's body. Lisa tried to electrocute her but failed, so I took the stun gun and tasered her in the right shoulder to knock her unconscious. Lisa then ordered Luan to get something to restrain Lynn. Luan tied her up, first with handcuffs, then with rope. After that, our dad called the police.

"Well, Savino? Cross-examine this witness." Judge McGowan states

("This is it! Lynn, you will pay for all the pain you caused Lincoln!")

 _Investigation: Cornered (Variation)_ plays!

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-SAVING LINCOLN**

I awoke to a terrible scream that woke me up at about 2:36 AM. It was our brother, Lincoln. I tried to enter the room, but it was locked, so I tried to break the door down. Lisa woke up and went into her room to grab the stun gun. All the noise I was making brought our entire family to Lincoln's bedroom. We all broke the door down and we all saw Lynn ravaging Lincoln's body. Lisa tried to electrocute her but failed, so I took the stun gun and tasered her in the right shoulder to knock her unconscious. Lisa then ordered Luan to get something to restrain Lynn. Luan tied her up, first with handcuffs, then with rope. After that, our dad called the police.

HOLD IT! "How did you know the **EXACT** time?"

"I didn't, it was just a rough estimate, all I know is that it happened around 2 AM…"

"Ok…continue."

HOLD IT! "What made you so sure it was Lincoln screaming?"

"Because I know what my own brother's voice sounds like." Lola says sarcastically

"Ha, you just got owned by a 6-year old!" Mr. Mittenthal mocks

"The defense will refrain from any outbursts unless they have an objection." Judge McGowan scolds "Please, continue your testimony."

HOLD IT! "Don't your parents have keys to all of the rooms? Why didn't you ask your dad for them?"

OBJECTION! "Because he was asleep, and by the time Lola got there, Lincoln would have already been killed." Mr. Mittenthal points out

"That makes sense, Lola, please continue."

HOLD IT! "Why didn't Lisa wake up everyone else?"

"Honestly, Mr. Savino, I don't know."

"Come on, stop wasting everyone's time, Savino!" Mr. Mittenthal chastises "Lola, continue."

HOLD IT! "How loud were you banging on the door? How could everyone hear you?"

"The Loud house has thin walls, everyone can hear anyone."

"Ok, continue with your testimony."

HOLD IT! "How do you know the assailant was Lynn?"

"Didn't you ask this before? I move to strike Savino's question for being pointless." Mr. Mittenthal complains

"Agreed, hurry up and make your point, Savino." Judge McGowan warns "Ms. Loud, continue your testimony."

HOLD IT! "Why taser her in the right shoulder?"

"Because it had the most surface area away from where her weapon was."

"Lola, continue."

HOLD IT! "Why did you try to restrain her?"

"So that she couldn't hurt anyone!"

"Fair point, continue."

HOLD IT! "Lynn **BROKE** out of handcuffs?!"

"It was those prank handcuffs at the dollar store."

"Ah, ok then, continue."

HOLD IT! "Why did your dad call the police?"

"Because she just tried to murder our brother!"

"Ha, you're grasping again, Savino!" Mr. Mittenthal taunts "Now, present some evidence or Judge McGowan will acquit Lynn here and now!"

("Ok, this is it, the piece of evidence that shows Lynn committed the crime without a shadow of a doubt is…!")

Prosecutor Savino presents the Bloodstained Bat!

TAKE THAT! "Your honor, this is the murder weapon! Detective Marshall had it tested for fingerprints, and Lynn's were the only ones that were found!"

OBJECTION! "Of course, her fingerprints are on the murder weapon! She **OWNS** that bat!" Mr. Mittenthal derides

OBJECTION! "I can prove Lynn is the killer by combining this piece of evidence with another one, that other piece of evidence is…!

Prosecutor Savino presents the Crime Scene Footage!

TAKE THAT! "In the crime scene footage, you can **CLEARLY** see Lynn using the bat to beat up Lincoln's body!"

Prosecutor Savino also gets an epic backsplash portrait while "Investigation: Cornered (Variation)" continues to play!

"Well, Mr. Mittenthal? How can you explain this away?! Lynn is guilty!"

Defense attorney Mittenthal has an epic breakdown where his hair disintegrates from the sheer awesomeness of Prosecutor Savino's reasoning!

"NO! THAT'S IMPOSSSSSSIIIIIIBBBBLLLLEEEE!" Mr. Mittenthal screams

"We will deliberate to see if there is any doubt." Judge McGowan and the 12 jurors leave…they come back 15 minutes later "It is unanimous!" Judge McGowan declares "We find the defendant, Lynn Loud Jr…"

 **GUILTY**

"…for the attempted first-degree murder of Lincoln Loud. She is to be sentenced to the Michigan State Government Corrections Department in Muskegon, MI. She is to spend life in prison without the possibility of parole and is to be placed in solitary confinement for the safety of the other prisoners. We would have gone for the death penalty, but since Michigan has abolished it, this is the next best thing. If there is nothing more to say, then this trial is…"

* * *

 **OBJECTION!**

Everyone is shocked! The camera shows prosecutor Savino's face, then defense attorney Mittenthal's face and finally, judge McGowan's face.

"Did…did someone raise an objection? Who is it?!" Judge McGowan questions

("It wasn't defense attorney Mittenthal…that could only mean 1 thing!") Prosecutor Savino thought

The camera pans to Lola…a lighter and softer remix of _The Enemy Who Surpasses the Law_ begins to play

"Your honor…" Lola begins to state "I object to your ruling! The trial isn't over yet!"

"What do you mean, Lola?"

"We already know that Lynn attempted to murder Lincoln for revenge. But, revenge for what?" Lola begins to explain

Prosecutor Savino gets a call on his cellphone, he answers it…it's from Leni.

"Savino, Lola is trying to confess! She's going to say she's guilty! She's going to tell them she was the murderer in the LL-4 Incident! She's going to tell them that she killed her own sister!"

He hangs up the phone.

"I hope that call was important, because I'm giving you a penalty for it!" Judge McGowan declares

OBJECTION! "We haven't charged Lola with any crime! Therefore, there is no longer any reason to prolong this trial!"

OBJECTION! "Now, Savino, let's hear the young lady out…" Mr. Mittenthal said sycophantically

Lola breaks down…

"YES! I ADMIT IT…I KILLED MY OWN SISTER!" Lola shouts

"WHAT?!"

"It…it was… an… an… accident…" Lola sobs hysterically

"Lynn should have tried to kill **ME**! Not **LINCOLN**! I was the one who killed Lana! Please, charge and convict me on involuntary manslaughter! Do it and ease my family's guilt!" Lola begs the court

"Well, this is unexpected, the witness is confessing to a different crime, but it wasn't even reported as a crime at all, it was a tragic accident! I don't know how to proceed with this…" Judge McGowan admits

"Well, there's only one thing left to do, we try this girl for her crime of 29 days ago!" Defense attorney Mittenthal announces. He even snapped his fingers, just like Manfred von Karma!

OBJECTION! "How do you know when Lana died?"

"It was on her tombstone…"

We can hear Lola bawling her eyes out in the background, Mr. Mittenthal has struck a nerve…

"Alright, Lola, rejoin your family, we'll call you up once you've calmed down. But what do we do now? Because this wasn't even listed as a crime, the police have nowhere to start."

* * *

"I believe I can help with that, judiciary official." Lisa declares "I've been saving these pieces of evidence when this came up…I was going to present them to detective Marshall, but since it had no bearing on Lynn's first-degree murder charge, I didn't give it to him. So, here are the pieces of evidence from 29 days ago."

OBJECTION! "Because the evidence didn't go through the police department, the court rejects the evidence!" Prosecutor Savino states

OBJECTION! "Rule 2 of Evidence Law, Savino. The Similar Fact Evidence law states that unregistered evidence presented must be relevant to the case at trial. So, Lisa isn't carrying illegal evidence anymore, now that Lola has brought this 2nd case to our attention!"

This counterargument is enough for defense attorney Mittenthal to regrow his perfect hair! Not a split end in sight! Prosecutor Savino is taken aback at both his sound logic and his magic hair re-growing powers!

("Dang it, Lisa, are you trying to get your sister wrongfully convicted?!") Prosecutor Savino thought

*Firecracker Shells added to court record

*Omni-detonator added to court record

* April 26 Backyard Security Footage added to court record

*Bloodstained/Charred Basketball added to court record

*Lana's Autopsy Report added to court record

"Ok, is that all the evidence, Lisa?" Mr. Mittenthal questions

"Yes, that is correct, Rookie Killer." Lisa states

""Rookie Killer", huh… I like that. But now, let us start the 2nd trial."

* * *

"Case Docket #137427; People V Lola Loud, how does the defendant plea?" Judge McGowan announces

"Guilty, your honor." Lola says with a firm, yet soft voice

"Ok, prosecutor Savino, your opening statement?"

OBJECTION!

Everyone is taken aback! The person who yelled "objection!" was Luan!

"Your honor, before the trial continues, I would like to volunteer as prosecutor Savino's co-counsel for this case!"

"Luan…do you even have ANY law experience?" Judge McGowan challenges

Luan begins to open her mouth…

"And don't say "Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney"! That's a video game, so it doesn't count!"

Luan closes her mouth.

"Objection over- "

OBJECTION! "I'd like to take her up on that offer!" Prosecutor Savino responds

"WHAT?!" Defense attorney Mittenthal shrieks

"Are you willing to face the fallout of a miscarriage of justice, having your badge revoked, being disbarred from practicing law for the rest of your life, and possible jail time for malpractice?!" Judge McGowan exclaims, pointing out the egregious risks he's taking

"Yes, your honor!"

"…Motion granted."

"Not so fast, if Savvy gets a co-counsel, I get one too!" Mr. Mittenthal complains

"Fine. Lucy, be his co-counsel." Judge McGowan responds to the insipid badgering of the defense attorney "Ugh, I swear, this trial is turning out to be more and more like a Phoenix Wright style turnabout…"

Lucy appears near Mr. Mittenthal, scaring him.

* * *

"Alright, prosecution, opening statement?"

"Well, there's only one person who knows about the incident 29 days ago. Your honor, I call Leni Loud to the stand!" Prosecutor Savino declares

Leni takes the stand, yet again.

"Since you seem to know a lot about this incident, would you mind testifying to the court exactly what had happened?"

"Ok, here's how the incident happened…" Leni states

Reminiscence: IS-7 Incident plays…

 **TESTIMONY-LL-4 INCIDENT**

On April 26, our dear sister, Lana, was trying to convince our family that our brother, Lincoln, was not bad luck. This is because our sister, Lynn Jr, lost a baseball qualifier match and blamed her loss on Lincoln because he was there. This happened on March 13. Anyway, she managed to convince 8 of the 13 members of our family. The only holdouts were our parents, Lola, Lynn Jr, and Lori. On that day, she managed to convince Lucy and Lisa that Lincoln is not bad luck. At roughly 7:00 PM, Lola invited Lana to a tea party to try to reconcile with her, because they argue and fight a lot, sibling rivalry at its finest. Lana accepted the invitation and got there first. Lola was primping herself and finally arrived at the tea party at 7:16 PM. It lasted until 7:24 PM. The twins headed back to their room when Lynn Jr arrived at their room and asked Lana to retrieve a basketball that was stuck in the mud, this happened at about 7:36 PM. Lana, being a good sister, complied and went to the backyard to get it. At 7:42 PM, we heard gunshots go off. They were loud and frequent enough to make a war veteran experience PTSD. Our mom tried to shield us from the awful truth, while our dad sent Luan to help save her life.

"So, that's how it all began…Mr. Mittenthal, cross-examine this witness!" Judge McGowan orders

"Ha! If this is anything like last time, this'll be easy!" Mr. Mittenthal says with a cocky attitude

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-LL-4 INCIDENT**

On April 26, our dear sister, Lana, was trying to convince our family that our brother, Lincoln, was not bad luck. This is because our sister, Lynn Jr, lost a baseball qualifier match and blamed her loss on Lincoln because he was there. This happened on March 13. Anyway, she managed to convince 8 of the 13 members of our family. The only holdouts were our parents, Lola, Lynn Jr, and Lori. On that day, she managed to convince Lucy and Lisa that Lincoln is not bad luck. At roughly 7:00 PM, Lola invited Lana to a tea party to try to reconcile with her, because they argue and fight a lot, sibling rivalry at its finest. Lana accepted the invitation and got there first. Lola was primping herself and finally arrived at the tea party at 7:16 PM. It lasted until 7:24 PM. The twins headed back to their room when Lynn Jr arrived at their room and asked Lana to retrieve a basketball that was stuck in the mud, this happened at about 7:36 PM. Lana, being a good sister, complied and went to the backyard to get it. At 7:42 PM, we heard gunshots go off. They were loud and frequent enough to make a war veteran experience PTSD. Our mom tried to shield us from the awful truth, while our dad sent Luan to help save her life.

Mr. Mittenthal presents the Firecracker Shells!

TAKE THAT! "You said you heard "gunshots". Is that right, Ms. Loud?"

"Yes."

"Then why are the murder weapons these 18 firecrackers?!" Mr. Mittenthal challenges

Leni is shocked! Her shades cover her eyes…she readjusts them.

* * *

"I declare that this witness is a complete moron and to have her entire testimony stricken, again!"

Leni begins to cry…

OBJECTION! "This witness' testimony gives us valuable insight into what happened that day! It's the only piece of evidence we have to go on! Your honor, I move that we keep Ms. Loud's testimony!" Prosecutor Savino affirms

"Objection sustained, motion to keep Ms. Loud's testimony is approved." Judge McGowan states

"Great job, Savino!" Luan compliments "There must be a piece of evidence to prove that the "gunshots" were actually firecrackers…but which one?"

("I know just the one…")

Prosecutor Savino presents the April 26 Backyard Security Footage!

TAKE THAT! "Your honor, this is footage from the Loud house backyard on April 26, the day Leni says the incident took place. If we play the footage, it shows the true killer planting the firecrackers in the taller than normal grass around the basketball. Thus, proving the murder weapons were firecrackers. Unfortunately, the killer seems to know that there are cameras in the vicinity, so their back is turned away from it." Prosecutor Savino clarifies

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"Well, you've proved that the firecrackers are the murder weapons but…what exactly does that prove?" Judge McGowan asked

OBJECTION! "Enough of this farce! I call Lisa Loud to the stand!" Mr. Mittenthal decries

OVERRULED! "Savino, explain."

"This wasn't a murder because **THIS** piece of evidence proves otherwise!"

Prosecutor Savino present Lana's Autopsy Report!

TAKE THAT! "In Lana's autopsy report it states that even though she was injured by the firecrackers' explosions, she made it to the hospital. The official cause of death listed here is heart failure. Therefore, no murder has taken place!" Prosecutor Savino declares

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"What?! then what are we even doing here?! This trial is already over! Lola, you are hereby declared-"

* * *

OBJECTION!

The screen pans to prosecutor Savino's shocked face, defense attorney Mittenthal's face and judge McGowan's face, the camera pans to Lisa!

"Before you pass down your judgement, your honor. I would like to take the stand!"

"Ok, Lisa. Take the stand." Judge McGowan states dumbfoundedly

 **TESTIMONY-TIES THAT BIND**

All of the evidence here points to the true killer! They tied me up and forced me to make a weapon of mass destruction. As the footage shows, the killer also planted the basketball, as well as the firecrackers. Luckily, I had all the evidence dusted for fingerprints!

"What, so the true killer left their fingerprints on everything?! This is a major breakthrough! If only we could find out whose fingerprints they are…!" Judge McGowan "Prosecutor Savino, find the contradiction in her testimony!"

 _Pursuit/Wanting to Find the Truth_ from Gyakuten Kenji 2 begins to play!

 **CROSS-EXAMINATION-TIES THAT BIND**

All of the evidence here points to the true killer! They tied me up and forced me to make a weapon of mass destruction. As the footage shows, the killer also planted the basketball, as well as the firecrackers. Luckily, I had all the evidence dusted for fingerprints!

HOLD IT! "Are you saying that the perpetrator in this case is also the same person who tried to murder Lincoln?!"

"That is correct."

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"What?! So, Lynn Jr committed both murders?! Where is your proof?" Mr. Mittenthal challenges

"I was getting to that."

HOLD IT! "A weapon of mass destruction?! The killer forced you to make a nuke?!"

"No…but it felt like making an atomic bomb…"

("I have a feeling I know what she's talking about, but I should press further to get more information…")

HOLD IT! "So, the killer planned this entire thing out?!"

"It would appear so, prosecutor Savino."

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"Ok, Ms. Loud, continue with your testimony!"

HOLD IT! "You already have the killer's fingerprints mapped out?!"

"Yes, now finish this trial, you have the evidence needed to do so!"

"Bah, hurry up, prove who the killer is, or I will convict Lola!" Defense attorney Mittenthal taunted

"Here are the 2 pieces of evidence that will show the court who the true mastermind behind LL-4 is!"

* * *

The music continues to play. Ordinarily, this would mean that prosecutor Savino messed up. But since this is the final confrontation, the music just heightens the tenseness and sheer awesomeness of how this case is finally coming to an end!

Prosecutor Savino presents the Omni-detonator!

TAKE THAT! "Your honor! **THIS** is the weapon of mass destruction Lisa was talking about!"

"A…switch? I'm not sure I follow your train of thought…" Judge McGowan states in a confused manner

"No, this is a **DETONATOR**. For the firecrackers, the so called "murder weapons!""

The judge has a surprised look!

"Now, there are 2 sets of fingerprints on the detonator. One set is Lisa's, because she MADE the thing, the other set belongs to the true mastermind behind this incident!"

"That doesn't prove anything! Lola's fingerprints are on the detonator!" Mr. Mittenthal decries "She is the one who set off the firecrackers!"

"It's true…" Lola begins to tear up in front of the audience "I'm a heartless monster!" she bawls loudly

OBJECTION! "I have the decisive evidence that proves Lola could NOT have been behind LL-4! This is my final piece of evidence! The one that will exonerate Ms. Loud and prove who the true killer is!"

Prosecutor Savino presents the Bloodstained/Charred Basketball!

TAKE THAT! "This basketball was used to lure Lana outside to where the firecracker trap was. Like the detonator, this basketball has 2 sets of fingerprints! One set belongs to the victim, Lana Loud. The other set belongs to the killer." Prosecutor Savino explains

"So, what?!" Mr. Mittenthal complains "This accusation is baseless! Your honor, I demand that Ms. Loud be arrested immediately for the involuntary manslaughter of her sister!"

OBJECTION! "Your honor, both unknown sets are the exact SAME, therefore, only the killer could have planted the basketball and triggered the firecracker explosions with the detonator! That could only be one person…!"

Prosecutor Savino presents Lynn Jr's Profile!

TAKE THAT! "Lynn Jr is the true mastermind behind LL-4!"

The jurors murmur…

Judge McGowan pounds his gavel on the desk.

"Order in the court! I demand order! Are you saying that Lynn was the one who killed Lana?!" Judge McGowan exclaims

"Yes, but like Lola said, it was an accident. And for the truth to come out, I call the defendant to the stand!"

* * *

Lynn Jr takes the stand. Prosecutor Savino grills her with questions about the incident.

"Lynn, would you say you love Lana?"

"Of course, she's my sister!"

"Ok, then why did you do this? Testify to the court about LL-4!"

 _Confess the Truth 2011_ from Gyakuten Kenji 2 plays…

 **TESTIMONY-SCARE TACTICS**

Leni was right, I did lose that baseball qualifier match and blamed Lincoln for it. But, after Lincoln showed up to our semifinal match, I managed to hit a grand slam and carry our team to the finals. So, since Lincoln was wearing the mascot suit at the time, we forced him to wear it, because we believed it would bring good luck. My sweet younger sister, Lana, didn't agree and started convincing the others that it was just a dumb superstition. On that day, the balance was 8 in favor of Lana, and 5 in favor of Lola. So, since this would shift our already fragile family dynamic, I tried to return our family back to the way it was before. Before the house of cards toppled, so to speak. I heard about Operation Twinsanity from Lola, which was that Lana impersonated her to get Lola to stop hazing Lana's group, because Lola valued her pageant reputation above all else, so Lana threatening that was enough to get her to back off. So, I came up with a counter to that plan, Operation Scarousel. The plan was to lure Lana out with the basketball and set off the firecrackers to startle and scare her off. Seeing this immediate threat to her life, Lana would abandon her plan to help Lincoln, and things within the Loud house would slowly return to normal. But the plan went wrong and Lana got injured…it was all Lincoln's fault! If he had just stayed in the suit and didn't complain, then Lana wouldn't have felt sorry for him and try to help him out! Instead he forced my hand and made me hurt our precious sister by accident! That is why I will NEVER forgive him!

"Well, that seems like a confession if there ever was one." Judge McGowan reasons

OBJECTION! "How does the killer's fingerprints match Lynn's?!" Mr. Mittenthal challenges "Prove that, and maybe I'll believe you!"

"Detective Marshall took Lynn Jr's fingerprints when he arrested her. If we compare those fingerprints to the killer's, then we've proven without a shadow of a doubt that Lynn Jr is the killer!"

"We need that information! I'll tell detective Marshall to get over here, quickly!" Judge McGowan announces

1 hour later, detective Marshall arrives with Lynn Jr's fingerprint set. Prosecutor Savino compares it to the unknown fingerprint sets on the basketball and detonator. It's a 100% match for Lynn Jr!

"This is undeniable evidence! We need to deliberate our verdict now!"

"But aren't we going to cross-examine the witness' testimony?" Mr. Mittenthal reasons

"Do you see any contradictions in her testimony?" Prosecutor Savino questions

"No…" Mr. Mittenthal replies meekly

Judge McGowan and the 12 jurors leave to deliberate the verdict, they come back 16 minutes later.

"We find the defendant, Lola Loud…" Judge McGowan began to say

 **NOT GUILTY**

"… of the involuntary manslaughter charge. Ordinarily, we'd add the involuntary manslaughter charge jail time to Lynn Jr's jail time, but since she's already serving a life sentence for the attempted first-degree murder charge, the point is moot. Lola Loud…you are free to go." Judge McGowan declares.

* * *

 **May 24, 2017**

 **Courtroom Lobby #3**

 **11:06 PM**

As soon as prosecutor Savino left the courtroom, the Loud family was crowding around him. Thanking him for finally bringing justice, not just to Lincoln, but to also their sister, Lana.

"I literally can't believe the trial is final over!" Lori says, exasperated

"You did it! You got justice for our brother!" Leni congratulates

"Rockin', now Lynn will face the music for hurting our siblings!" Luna states

"Well, that sure was a trial, wasn't it, Savino?" Luan jokes

"The aura of dysfunction around our family…it's dispelling…I guess we have you to thank for that." Lucy comments

"Why didn't you let me go to prison?! This is all MY fault!" Lola exclaims

"No, Lynn is the one who pulled the trigger, SHE's the true culprit." Savino replies back

"But the Trinity of Violence was formed because of me! Me, Lola, and Lynn made our brother's life a living hell, but…even though me and Lori are trying to repent for it, it's not enough, punish us!" Lola shouts

"No, you're trying to make it up to Lincoln, you're just experiencing survivor's guilt. You must love each other very much, then."

"Yes"

"Would Lana want you to beat yourself up over her death?"

"No…"

"Then don't."

"Thanks…for everything… Savino."

"You wouldn't have convicted our sibling, if it wasn't for me!" Lisa announces pridefully

"No, we wouldn't. Thanks for helping with the investigation, Lisa."

Lisa is beaming proudly! She didn't expect prosecutor Savino to admit to it!

"Thanks for finding out the truth." Lynn Sr states "So, how much do we owe you for winning the case?"

"This time, it's pro bono." Prosecutor Savino says

"What's that, Lis?" Luna questions

"Pro bono is a legal term that means the defense attorney or prosecutor is taking the case for free. It's more common with defense attorneys, though…" Lisa clarifies

"Now that the trial is over, there should be one important thing you should do…"

"I know what it is…" Rita states "We're going to visit Lincoln at the hospital. Now that the trial is over, we have all the time in the world to come and visit him."

Prosecutor Savino nods. The Loud family prepares to head home. Defense attorney Mittenthal approaches him.

* * *

"So, Bob…" Prosecutor Savino began to say "Why did you take the Loud case?"

"I didn't. I got **ASSIGNED** to it. No one else wanted to take this case… even I didn't want to take this case, but Michigan forced me to take it anyway."

"Well, I'm just glad it's finally over."

"You and me both…"

"Well, until we meet again…"

"Ha, looking forward to it, Chris!"

Both of them shake hands while locking eyes as a sign of respect. They then begin to head their separate ways. Even though the trial is over. There is still one last bit of grieving left to do before the Louds can truly heal. It's time to see Lincoln again.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Did you know that Michigan was the 26th state to join the US on January 26, 1837? And that Michigan was the first state to abolish the death penalty on May 18, 1846? Exactly 3400 days, or 9 years, 3 months and 23 days since attaining statehood? The only execution in the state's history wasn't even the state's decision, it was the federal government's. It was in July 8, 1938 over an attempted bank robbery gone wrong, a passerby got killed by one of the robbers (the robber thought he was a cop), so America decided to hang said robber in Michigan, despite the fact the death penalty was still abolished there.**

 **The point is, the original plan was to give Lynn the death penalty, but since Michigan abolished it, we had to settle for life imprisonment. Even judge McGowan thinks she is so malevolent that she deserves to be executed!**

 **Even though the murder trial is the talk of the town, Clyde and the rest of Lincoln's friends don't know who the victim is (I.E: Lincoln) because they only watched little snippets of the trial. Clyde only watched Lori's testimony from day 1, but as soon as he caught a glimpse of her, he got a nosebleed and passed out, in true Clyde McBride fashion. Rusty saw the in between portion of Luan and Lisa's testimonies on day 2. Liam saw the beginning half of the insanity defense, when prosecutor Savino lists the DSM5 personality disorders. Zach saw the closing argument of the insanity defense, when prosecutor Savino is diagnosing Lynn as a sociopath. In all the sections, Lincoln's name is never mentioned.**

 **Remember when I said the "soft-lock" prevents prosecutor Savino from presenting evidence back to back because it wasn't the right time? The soft lock breaks when defense attorney Mittenthal presents the Crime Scene Footage. This is why Savino can't back up his claim on day one, because he thought the bat would be enough to establish Lynn's guilt. After defense attorney Mittenthal presents the Crime Scene Footage, that gives him the idea of presenting the 2 items, the bat and the footage, together! If you try to present the Crime Scene Footage after defense attorney Mittenthal does so, judge McGowan will remark that the court has already seen that evidence before and will penalize you. Furthermore, this gives you the knowledge that you're locked out of the neutral ending and forced to get the good ending, this is a reality everyone wants to achieve, though.**

 **Lola pulls a "false confession out of guilt" a la Miles Edgeworth in the final case of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Turnabout Goodbyes! The opening is pretty much taken from the original and edited for this trial. If you fail in the second trial, Lola goes to the Royal Woods jail for 15 years! And unlike Turnabout Goodbyes, the statute of limitations on involuntary manslaughter in Michigan is 6 years (if this happens, you get a slightly modified neutral ending, specific to getting Lola a guilty verdict)! It's only been 29 days since LL-4 happened. So, you'd better not make prosecutor Savino mess this up! Oh, did I forget to mention, you are helping prosecutor Savino all throughout the trial? He may be the one talking, but YOU are the one who decides what evidence he presents, just like in the game. The penalties are the "5 strike" system from the first game, you get 5 chances before judge McGowan has had enough of your grasping and awards that "not guilty" verdict to Lynn or the "guilty" verdict to Lola in the LL-4 trial. Good news is that these 3 chapters (33, 34 and 35) tell you in what order you need to present the evidence in. The bad news is that you don't know WHICH statements to present the evidence on. Defense attorney Mittenthal doesn't even need to cross examine the testimony, he presents evidence when he first gets it!**

* * *

 **2 new tracks for the 2 new locations. Technically, prosecutor Savino didn't enter these places, but since they're settings of major events within the 3-day trial period, I'll allow it, even though it's just 1 location, but 2 different areas of it.**

 **Royal Woods Elementary School (Principal Huggins' Office): Detention Center/Cold Glass Elegy  
** **Royal Woods Elementary School (Lunchroom): Reminiscence/ Classroom Trial**

 **And here are the beta tracks, for ideas that didn't make the final cut, or that were in the investigation, but not in the 3-day trial period or for an alternate ending.**

 **Royal Woods General Hospital (ICU unit, Lincoln's room): Reminiscence/True Pain  
** **Bad Ending: Police Cell/Elegy of The Captured  
** **Neutral Ending: Reminiscence/False Relations  
** **Flashbacks of Pain (Luan LL-4 testimony): Reminiscence/DL-6 incident  
** **Eternal Love (Lana LL-4 testimony): Psyche Lock 2002  
** **A Sociopath's Testimony (Lynn LL-4 testimony): Reminiscence/Scars Etched In Flame  
** **Shot at Redemption: Trifle of Fate  
** **Alternate Bad Ending: Reminiscence/ IS-7 incident**

* * *

 **Now for a list of all the evidence used in the trial. Here it is for everyone's convenience:**

 **Bloodstained Bat  
** **Type: Weapon  
** **Received from Detective Marshall  
** **Description: The murder weapon; Detective Marshall had it tested and found the defendant's fingerprints on it.**

 **Crime Scene Footage  
** **Type: Other  
** **Received from Detective Marshall  
** **Description: Lisa's recording of the attack, it's dated "May 20, 2017". Only the timeframe between 2:36-2:44 AM is recorded.**

 **Lynn's Confession  
** **Type: Document  
** **Received from Detective Marshall  
** **Description: Written and signed confession the defendant made to detective Marshall  
** **Upon checking it: It was about 2:30 AM when I decided to kill Lincoln. I got my metal baseball bat and slinked quietly over to his room. I locked the door before attacking him so he couldn't escape. I beat him until he was unconscious. I wanted to kill him, but my family tied me up before I could. I hit him 47 times before I was stopped. I wanted to kill him because he killed our younger sister, Lana.**

 **Loud House Floor Plans  
** **Type: Map  
** **Received from Detective Marshall  
** **Description: A map of the Loud house. The crime occurred on the second floor, in the last room on the right.**

 **DSM5 Disorder Book  
** **Type: Other  
** **Received from Dr. Christina  
** **Description: A book to diagnose personality disorders, it might come in handy.**

 **AV Incapacitator  
** **Type: Weapon  
** **Submitted as evidence during the trial  
** **Description: A stun gun that was used to subdue the defendant. it has a stunning voltage mode, and an electrocuting ampere mode.**

 **Firecracker Shells  
** **Type: Evidence  
** **Submitted as evidence during the trial  
** **Description: Remnants of the firecrackers used to kill Lana.**

 **Omni-Detonator  
** **Type: Other  
** **Submitted as evidence during the trial  
** **Description: A switch used to trigger something, it has 2 sets of fingerprints on it.**

 **April 26 Backyard Security Footage  
** **Type: Evidence  
** **Submitted as evidence during the trial  
** **Description: Security footage taken from the backyard on the day of the LL-4 incident. The time between 7:36-7:42 has been isolated.**

 **Bloodstained/Charred Basketball  
** **Type: Evidence  
** **Submitted as evidence during the trial  
** **Description: A basketball with a bloody handprint on it; There are 2 sets of fingerprints on it.**

 **Lana's Autopsy Report  
** **Type: Report  
** **Submitted as evidence during the trial  
** **Description: Victim was injured by firecracker discharge and was transported to the hospital. Later died from heart failure on April 26, 2017 at 11:06 PM.**

* * *

 **The reason why prosecutor Savino made the Loud case a pro bono one was because he knows what it's like to be in that situation. He was also a middle child in a big family, although in his case it was 5 boys, 5 girls, instead of Lincoln's situation with 10 girls. Remember in the episode "The Loudest Yard", where it says "Savino indicted"? That happened because another prosecutor complained to the ABA that Mr. Savino was engaging in prosecutorial misconduct as well as abuse of power. A trial was held, and it looked like Savino would've been disbarred. But, he managed to perform a turnabout in the case. Referenced in the episode "A Tattler's Tale", in a newspaper that says "Savino trial takes a turn". In the end, he managed to prove that the opposing prosecutor who complained to the ABA in the first place was the one who was abusing his power. Savino was reinstated as a prosecutor and the one who accused him got disbarred. Even though he is a prosecutor who has a similar personality similar to Miles Edgeworth (logical, precise, debonair, clever), he does enjoy comic books, just like Lincoln. When he's not prosecuting, he's making comics as a hobby in his spare time. As for defense attorney Mittenthal, he a bit arrogant and conceited, but if he believes you're innocent, he will try his hardest to prove that you are. If not, then he just tries to expose the facts and let the prosecution convict him. He values his hair the most, so when you perform an argument, the way that Mittenthal shows he's losing is by the condition of his gorgeous hair, it turns his elegant coif into a bowl haircut when he's on the ropes. If you defeat him in a battle of wits, his hair disintegrates, in an epic fashion. Unlike Winston Payne however, if HE performs an excellent counterargument, then he can regrow his hair, showing his renewed confidence. His personality is similar to Winston Payne, but with the seriousness of Manfred von Karma mixed in. Lisa calling him a "Rookie Killer", just proves the connection further. Judge McGowan can be seen in his civilian attire all throughout Royal Woods. He is pretty much the Loud House's version of a certain comic book creator. In the episode "Back Out There", an advertisement on a bus says "Injured? Get an Attorney; Law Offices of Ketchum, McGowan & Goldstein". Mr. McGowan first became a defense attorney, then once he took on enough cases and got enough experience, he took the ABA judgeship test and became a full-fledged judge! He had to break away from the law firm he formerly worked at, of course, but he is still friends with his former colleagues. In court, he is serious about the proceedings of the trial, as he knows the outcome will change people's lives, no matter what the result is. He has had to make tough rulings before, but he always managed to get through it. Outside the court, he's a pretty friendly and awesome dude, and the kind of person you'd want to be friends with.**

 **With that, the trial has concluded. Lynn is finally held accountable for her actions and the Loud family has closure on both of the tragedies that happened to their family. But just because the trial is over, that doesn't mean the Trial Mini-Arc is. There is still the aftermath of the trial. What will happen now? Stay tuned and find out next time on Sycophant!**


	36. Linked Together

**Chapter Synopsis: The Louds, as well as some of Lincoln's friends, visit him in the hospital**

* * *

With the trial over, life is slowly returning to normal for the Louds. Lynn's incarceration made front page news and everyone at school was talking about it. We see Clyde talking to Lincoln's gang of friends at lunchtime.

"Hey guys, did you hear the news? My dads were watching the news coverage of the trial and they told me that Lynn was convicted for both attempted first-degree murder on Lincoln and involuntary manslaughter on Lana!" Clyde exclaims

"Yeah, I heard that she's going to the Muskegon correctional facility. Only the evilest criminals from Michigan are sent there! I even heard that she's going to be put in solitary confinement for the safety of the **OTHER INMATES**!" Liam continues

"Yeah, Royal Woods doesn't have a protocol for murders, since they almost never happen here. I read online somewhere that only 5 murders have happened within 17 years; As well as the most common crime in this city being larceny." Rusty interjects

They all look at him, confused.

"Larceny means the criminal steals stuff." Rusty explains

"I read online that for every 100,000 people, only 3 crimes happen in Royal Woods. This town is safer than 72% of all towns in the US and that there is a 1/89 chance that this could happen to me or you." Zach clarifies "So Clyde, what are you going to do now?"

"After school, I'm going to visit my best friend at the hospital. He's still comatose after the violent beating Lynn gave him." Clyde reassures

Ronnie Anne approaches the group and talks to Clyde.

"Aw, so Lynn is in prison? Man…I wanted to deliver some payback to her after what she did to Lame-o. Oh well, rotting in a jail cell while slowly losing your mind seems like a better punishment for someone like her anyway." Ronnie Anne comments

* * *

Meanwhile, at the other end of the cafeteria, we see Leif conversing with Lola.

"So, why did you confess at the trial yesterday?" Leif asks

"Because, this all started because of me! If I didn't form the Trinity, then Lana would have been safe!" Lola asserts

"You don't know that! Remember the 2nd day of the trial? Prosecutor Savino said that Lynn would have had antisocial personality disorder if she was 18. I don't think the formation of your group helped her much. I think she still would have tried to convince Lana to stop helping Lincoln." Leif explains

"How could she do this to us?" Lola asks in despair

"I don't know Lola, but if you need anyone to talk to, I'll be here for you."

"Thanks, Leif…you're a true friend…" Lola declares to him

* * *

The school day progressed as normal. Once every Loud sibling regrouped at the Loud house, their parents drove them to the Royal Woods General Hospital's intensive care unit, so that everyone could visit Lincoln. Yes, they **DID** visit Lincoln during the days of the trial, but the visits were kept brief, as the families' testimonies were needed for the trial, but now that the trial has concluded, they can visit him for as long as they want. They check in with the receptionist and all 10 of them are allowed in, but his family aren't the only ones who are visiting him today.

Rita is the first one to say something to Lincoln's body…

"My son…we've treated you badly over the years, I can't deny that. We…we just wanted to make it up to you after all the pain and suffering we put you through. But…Lynn still hated you…for something that **SHE** did. "Why can't she just accept the consequences of her actions?" You told me that when we were preparing Lana's funeral. Well, we found the answer…she **CAN'T** …her perception of right and wrong is skewed. Maybe that's why she blamed her loss on you. I just can't believe she would do **THIS** to you." Rita begins to cry; Lynn Sr pulls her away from Lincoln's body so she can calm down.

Lori goes up to Lincoln's bed second…

"Hey, little bro…It's me. I know you probably literally hate me right now. After all, I was the one who kicked you out of the room I shared with Leni. I carelessly crushed your _HTC Vive_ or whatever it was, you called them game goggles. I also put my relationship with Bobby over my sibling bond with you…I…I shouldn't have done that. I should have been there to protect you, and now look what's happened! Don't worry, I…I'll make it up to you! We…we can…hang out at the arcade at the mall…you can pick the games!"

Lori realizes that Lincoln won't say anything in his comatose state and that everything she said seemed like a desperate attempt to get him back, which it was. After all, she, like all her siblings just want her brother back. Lori solemnly steps away from Lincoln's hospital bed.

Leni approaches Lincoln's bed third…

"Linky…please! Wake up! I'll let you design stuff with me! We could…have a great time! I know you love helping me out. I…I even…made this portrait of us together! I know you love our family…so I decided to show it in art form…"

Leni takes out a 24 by 24 canvas. It has a painting of the Loud sisters around Lincoln in a circle, even Lana is there! Rita and Lynn Sr are in the "background" of the painting, though that's just an optical trick to show depth to the painting. There's a column of light that shines on Lincoln. The title of the painting is "Guiding Light".

"Leni, that painting…" Lori began to say

"Yeah, it's terrible, isn't it…I only had 3 days to make it." Leni replies

"No, I mean, that painting literally belongs in a museum, it's that good!" Lori explains

"Really?" Leni questions "It's that good?"

"Yes"

"Lincoln…I know you can't hear me but…when you wake up… will… you help me design…some dresses? I could use your expertise…you…you're the second most fashionable member of our family, next to me…maybe you could help me diversify my…no…OUR clothing label and make it unisex…will you help me? You don't have to answer right now…I know you can't anyway, but…I can understand if you don't want to…"

Leni walks away. She wants Lincoln's creative input to help make her dresses wow her target demographic. It would make her couture "haute" with the masses obsessed with clothes and hopefully revolutionize the clothing industry (but even Leni knows that probably won't happen. Still, it's nice to have big aspirations)! She would definitely make Lincoln a creative advisor and/or business partner for her design label, once she sets up shop!

Luna is the fourth to go up to Lincoln's bed…

"Little bro…I can't believe Lynn was this harsh to you. Well, don't let that sour note get you down…because I made a song for you! It's wonderfully melancholic, yet at the same time, eerily beautiful. I'll perform it for you…"

Luna begins to sing a serenade to Lincoln…it's…the _Reminiscence: DL-6_ track from Phoenix Wright!

* * *

 **Please rest, our dear brother.  
** **We don't want to lose another one…  
** **You've always shone just like the sun.  
** **Lynn beats you up, just for her sick fun.  
** **It's finally over, we've won!  
** **Metal piercing…  
** **Through our hearts.  
** **Lying unconscious…  
** **To depart.  
** **An icy grip…  
** **Empties its clip.  
** **Perfection attained…  
** **With bloodstains.**

* * *

A small applause comes from the rest of the family.

"Good night, everybody. Luna has left the building. There will be no encores." Luna announces sadly

"That was beautiful, Luna." Luan comments

Luna steps to the side…

Luna really wants to perform music with her brother. Lincoln seems to be the most supportive of all the siblings to her. He helps her come up with lyrics, he composes sample instrumentals that Luna could use at her next gig. He even sings along with her to test how good the song sounds in front of a "live audience", which is Luan.

Luan steps up to Lincoln's bed fifth…

Hey, Linc…I won't tell you a bad pun, because you can't hear me. I just wanted to give you this…"

Luan pulls out a comic book. It looks like one of those Ace Savvy comics that Lincoln loves so much!

"Remember when you made an Ace Savvy comic book for that contest where you got to meet Bill Buck, and you took us, Clyde and principal Huggins along to meet him? Well, I was so inspired by **YOUR** comic, that I made one myself! I came up with the story, while Leni drew the artwork in the panels. Once you break out of that coma, I hope you'll read it and tell me what you think of it. And…since you won't feel this anyway…"

Luan kisses him on the forehead.

"…Goodbye, Lincoln…"

Oddly, Luan seems to be the most compassionate of the sisters toward Lincoln (with Lana being a close second). Every time Lincoln does something obnoxious or selfish, she responds in confusion or worry most of the time and rarely gets angry toward HIM. The only exception where it was **JUST** Luan angry at Lincoln was in the episode "Funny Business", when Lincoln basically insulted the art of clowning by minimalizing it to just pratfalling. Although, he DID just insult one of her core hobbies, so it IS warranted. At the end of the episode, she admits that she was being too harsh on him and apologized, while Lincoln apologized for overusing the pratfall and acknowledging there's more to clowning than just that.

Lucy approaches Lincoln sixth…

"I…finally decoded…the poem. But…it's too late. "For the second light, this is an omen." That was you, wasn't it, Lincoln. "To try to repair a family so broken." We truly appreciate all you and Lana have done for us, there are no words to describe our gratitude. "The athletic one, with guilt she'll fake." I know I say I don't have a soul a lot, but Lynn…she doesn't have any **FEELINGS** …at all, it's just an empty void there when I tried to find some. "The final light, she'll choose to break…" Lana meant this…didn't she? Lucy breaks down in tears "Both lights gone, all hopes shattered. In the end, nothing mattered!" Lincoln! We don't want to lose you! I don't want to lose you! Please, wake up!"

Lucy cries so hard that she's actually crying blood! Everyone gasps at this!

"Lisa, is this normal? A demon isn't possessing her or something, right?" Lynn Sr questions

"Yes, Lucy is currently suffering from Haemolacria, a condition in which the tears have blood in them. Normally, this means she has some kind of disease, but Lucy looks fine to me!" Lisa declares

I didn't think it was possible, but **THE** Lucy Loud IS capable of showing emotion. I thought she was always apathetic, moody and depressed. But this breakdown has made Lucy show more emotion in 5 minutes than she has shown in her entire life. Lucy slinks away sullenly, while wiping her bloody tears away.

Lola slowly approaches Lincoln's bed, she is the seventh one to visit him…

"Linky… why did you trust me? Is it because I wanted to make amends with you? Are you really that pure hearted? I actually have to thank you for something…you and Lana. I promised Lana I would protect you until the end, so that's what I'll do. You were always so kind to me, even when I treated you worse than trash. I don't deserve your kindness! But it's because of that promise, that I stopped trying to commit suicide that day. Lana would be so disappointed in me if I gave up on you before even trying, when she was entirely devoted to you, until the end. Also…"

Lola blushes a little.

"Since you can't hear me, I can admit this to you…remember when I got you to play as my butler…I'll admit…you looked kind of hot. Tell anyone I said that and I'll kill you, though! Just keep it between us, ok."

Lola…Lola may be evil. But even she's not **THIS** evil. If she could, she'd beat Lynn within an inch of her life for doing this to her brother and sister! Lola…deep down…she **DOES** care about her siblings. Lincoln seems to at least TOLERATE her the most out of the siblings, it's only now, when Lincoln is at near-death, does she realize all that he's done for her. Lana was always there for Lincoln; Now it's time for Lola to be there for him, when he needs her the most.

Lisa is the eighth to approach Lincoln, she glances at the I.V tube that's keeping his body alive and at a small bottle with a clear liquid in it. She knows what she has to do…

"Lisa, if I can't finish it…you have to."

"No, I won't!"

"We must avenge Lana's death…that means we bring a murderer to justice."

"Why don't we leave this to the cops?"

"It's been a month, they don't even know Lana's death wasn't an accident!"

Lisa Looks at Lincoln's body…if Lynn says Lincoln is so evil, why did Lana give up her life for him? Lisa puts away the vial and decides not to finish the job. Instead, she speaks to him.

"I don't know what Lana saw in you, elder brother. I can't comprehend why someone like her would waste her time on a loser like you. But…if Lana sees that you're worth protecting, then you're valuable to me, because you were valuable to HER. I will help you in any way I can!" Lisa asserts to him

Lisa may not care about Lincoln, but she does care about Lana. So, since Lana protected him, Lisa will protect him too. After all, family sticks together, right?

Lily is placed on Lincoln's body, she is the ninth one to visit...

"'Inkin, I wuv u, sew much! Peas…donut go! We all ms u! Peas…wak up!" (Lincoln, I love you, so much! Please, don't go! We all miss you! Please, wake up!)

Lily is removed from Lincoln's bed, she begins to weep.

Lynn Sr is the tenth and final member of the Loud family to visit Lincoln…

"Son, we did it. Lynn is going to pay for doing this to you. I didn't know that she was a budding sociopath. We should have gotten her checked out sooner. I always assumed that she was playfully roughhousing with you or that it was just another sibling rivalry, that usually how kids are, right? Don't worry, we…we can be a family again. We'll wait for the day you'll wake up again. Your family will always be right by your side, Lincoln. We will visit you every day until you're better. But for today, this is goodbye…"

* * *

The Loud family leaves. Leni's painting, A CD copy of Luna's DL-6 track, and Luan's comic are left behind for Lincoln to enjoy when he wakes up. 30 minutes later, the McBrides arrive, because Clyde is making good on the promise that he'd visit Lincoln. They check in with the receptionist and they go to Lincoln's room, Clyde approaches the body of his best buddy. He is the eleventh visitor Lincoln got today.

"Hey buddy…I can't believe Lynn did this. When you wake up, we'll do what you want, ok? Gus' Games and Grub? I'm game! Ace Savvy convention? Deal me a new one! Chess match? Sure. Having another sleepover at your house? Heck yeah! Especially if I get to see Lo- Lo- Lo-. He almost nosebleeds on Lincoln's body after almost mentioning Lori's name, he manages to stop himself, this time."

He notices Luan's comic and peruses through it.

"Wow, this is actually pretty good, Linc! Making a sequel to our comic that let us meet Bill Buck. Not as good as Bill's, but he's the creator, so what should we expect? I think it's a great continuation, but I'll see if the kids at school would like it."

"Well buddy, I'll see you when you wake up."

Clyde and his dads leave the hospital. Believe it or not, the twelfth visitor that visited Lincoln…was Bobby? How is this? Well…

* * *

"Who's the patient, doc?"

"An 11-year old kid…he was beaten 47 times with a metal bat!"

The doctor and nurse enter the room, there, they see Lincoln, nearly dead from the assault. The nurse reads the diagnosis:

Patient was bludgeoned 47 times with a metal baseball bat. Skull has small fractures from the impacts. Sternum is completely shattered, bone fragments of the sternum narrowly missed piercing his lungs. Half of his ribs are broken, miraculously missing his heart. Both right and left carpal and metacarpal bones fractured. Both humeri bones have a small crack. Most of the trauma is centralized in the thoracic cavity. Both femurs sustained impacts but held together. Both patellae have small fractures. The pelvis was completely broken during the attack. The patient's penis is a bloodied mass of tissue, both testicles were smashed, both the prostate gland and the urethra have large tears from the assault, the seminal vesicles and the vas deferens have small tears. The cowper's gland was completely smashed. There is enough trauma here to constitute a sex crime. If attack wasn't stopped, patient would be dead. The attacks on the skull forced the patient into a comatose state.

The nurse then reads the patients name:

"Lincoln Loud"

All the doctor could do was remove the shards of bones that almost pierced his vital organs. Only time will tell if Lincoln would heal, especially since the broken bones need time to re-ossify themselves, as for his reproductive system…yeah, Lincoln won't be able to have children. This must have been Lynn's failsafe if she didn't immediately kill him, it was to cause him as much pain as humanly possible.

We see the nurse head back to her home, where we see two **VERY** familiar characters.

* * *

"Hey mom." Ronnie Anne greets "Finished another triple overtime shift?"

"Yeah." Mrs. Santiago replies back "How's Roberto doing?"

"He's fine. So how did work go today?" Ronnie Anne questioned

"One of the patients I had to operate on…well, you don't want to know who it is…" Mrs. Santiago utters

Bobby comes out of his room upon hearing this. He then plays with a little yin-yang shaped object he found at a yard sale, he bought it because he thought it looked cool. He then does this:

TAKE THAT!

5 black psyche locks surround Mrs. Santiago!

"Huh?! Mom? What's going on?!" Bobby asks in surprise, not knowing he accidently activated a magatama, he can now see his mom's greatest secrets! I bet a nurse has a ton of secrets that need to be kept hidden…

"Roberto, I can't tell you, it would violate doctor-patient privilege."

"Why? Is one of the patients someone we know?" Bobby reasons

"No…" Mrs. Santiago replies back, but even Bobby notices that she said it nervously

!

"It's Lincoln, isn't it?"

The 5 black psyche locks shatter!

"…"

"We have to go see him!"

"Don't bother. He's comatose, so he can't talk back."

 **"HE'S IN A COMA?!"**

* * *

Back to the present day, we see Bobby looking over comatose Lincoln. He then begins to say some words in Spanish.

"Lincoln, sé que lo ella hizo a usted. He visto el jucio, al igual que todos los demás. ¿Cómo podría Lynn, tu propia hermana, tratar asesinarte? ¿Y tan brutal, también? ¡Esa perra! No te preocupes, estoy seguro de que Lori ya te dije sobre el veredicto... culpable para intento asesinato en primer grado le y homicidio involuntario por la muerte de Lana. Sabes, he visitado ella tumba, también. Si solamente tus hermanas podrían ser más parecido ella...entonces tal vez este no lo haría han pasó en todo... ¿Pero ella intentaron protegerte, hizo ella no? Tu y su hermanas siempre serán amigos para mí, Lincoln. Adiós."

He leaves.

The Loud family came back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, every day for about a month, until June 30. When Luan was done talking to Lincoln's body…something different happened. Luan felt something brush up against her hand, something warm…she glanced back saw Lincoln gripping her hand, in a handshake position. He opens his eyes and begins to get up slowly. He sees his family and begins to speak.

"…Hey guys, …what did I miss?"

Everyone gathers around him and hugs him.

Lincoln is back!


	37. Limbic System

**Chapter Synopsis: Lincoln goes to physical therapy to regain the use of his limbs**

* * *

"So…what happened?" Lincoln asks groggily, still just barely awake from his month-long slumber

"Lynn literally beat you within an inch of your life!" Lori exclaims

"The beating was so severe, it knocked you into a month-long coma!" Leni states

"I was out for a **MONTH**?!" Lincoln shouts

"Well actually, to be completely honest, elder brother, you were comatose for precisely 3.6288*10^-74 yottaseconds, or 3.6288*10^-50 zettaseconds, or 3.6288*10^-39 exaseconds, or 3.6288*10^-21 petaseconds, or 3.6288*10^-6 teraseconds, or 0.0036288 gigaseconds, or 3.6288 megaseconds, or 3628.8 kiloseconds, or 36,288 hectaseconds, or 362880 decaseconds, or 0.0001125 millennia, or 0.001125 centennials, or 0.01125 decades, or 0.1125 years, or 1.35483871 months, or 6 weeks, or 42 days, or 1008 hours, or 60,480 minutes, or 3,628,800 seconds, or 36,288,000 deciseconds, or 362,880,000 centiseconds, or 3,628,800,000 milliseconds, or 3.6288*10^15 microseconds, or 3.6288*10^24 nanoseconds, or 3.6288*10^36 picoseconds, or 3.6288*10^51 femtoseconds, or 3.6288*10^69 attoseconds, or 3.6288*10^90 zeptoseconds or 3.6288*10^114 yoctoseconds or 6.7309190464531*10^133 Planck seconds." Lisa declares

"I think he gets the point, Lis." Lola says sardonically

"Yeah, bro. We've been visiting you every day since the murder attempt, hoping you'd wake up." Luna explains

"Lincoln, we…we can… finally…be… a family again…" Luan says softly to him

"What happened to Lynn?" Lincoln inquires

"Michigan held a trial for Lynn for trying to kill you…" Lucy started to say

"She was found guilty of both attempted first-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter. The prosecutor got justice…for both you and Lana." Lola affirms

"Our sibling, is being held at the correctional facility in Muskegon, where she is serving life in prison without the possibility of parole in solitary confinement. It sickens me to even call that **CREATURE** our sibling, after what she's done to our family." Lisa asserts with disdain in her voice.

"Wait so she…she was…the one who killed Lana?" Lincoln says, slightly whimpering

"I can't believe it either, Lincoln." Lola avers to him pensively "She said it was an accident, but how can it be, if you lure someone into a trap, and then set off noisemakers, that can kill people, with the intent to scare them?" Lola approaches him, Lincoln comforts her

"What about Lana's pets? I was supposed to take care of them..." Lincoln says fearfully

"Don't worry, little bro, I covered for you. Lana's pets are still alive and well." Luna explains

"Well, you've been in here long enough. It's time for you to go home." Rita declares

Lincoln presses the call button on his bed, the doctor goes into Lincoln's room and sees that he's not in a coma anymore!

* * *

"You're awake!" The doctor exclaims "I honestly thought you were never going to wake up. Well, can you stand up?"

Lincoln tries to get off the bed and stand up, his legs buckle under the pressure and he starts to slip. Luna catches him before he hits the cold hospital tile floor.

"I thought not, people in comas usually need to restore some function in their legs. I know an amazing physical therapist who specializes in this sort of thing. I'll call her and let her know you're coming." The doctor explains

The doctor whips out a cellphone and calls someone, presumably the physical therapist he was talking about. While he's busy doing that, Lisa diagnoses Lincoln.

"Elder brother, it seems you've lost some muscle mass while being confined to the hospital bed during your comatose period. I can safely deduce that your muscles have atrophied. But not to worry, the solution to this is simple, first, you should probably eat solid food again, it will give you carbohydrates and monosaccharides for energy and protein to help your amino acids synthesize enzymes to rebuild your muscle mass. The second and most important step is to work out, so you can regain the motor skills in the atrophied areas. I know that this is especially hard for you, seeing as all you do is read comics and play video games in your room all day, but you need to do this before your muscles completely emaciate, and you'll have to be confined in a wheelchair for the rest of your life." Lisa deduces

"Ok, I just called her and she said she'll wait for you. She's at the building with a red and black roof." The doctor explains "Good luck, Lincoln."

* * *

Luna and Luan support Lincoln all the way out of the hospital and into Vanzilla. The Loud family heads back to their house, where Lynn Sr prepares a feast. He makes salisbury steak, meatball sub sandwiches, turkey loaf, wienerschitzel, goulash, fried fish (and chips), succotash, a 13-layer lasagna, grilled cheese, cake, shepherd's pie, vichyssoise, a protein shake, scrambled eggs, deviled eggs and his infamous liverwurst, shrimp and hot mayo casserole (eating pure vomit would **STILL** taste better than this casserole, Lynn Sr even acknowledges it, yet he still tries to get his kids to eat it). How Lynn Sr managed to make all that food with only a $200 budget, we will never know, but as he says, "necessity is the mother of Lynn-vention". Also, cartoon logic probably applies here. This feast could feed the entire Loud family for a month! They dig in.

"It feels so good to not eat food from a tube!" Lincoln exclaims

All the Loud siblings agree. After everyone is done eating, Lynn Sr packs away the massive number of leftovers (come on, even between 11 of them, they can't eat **ALL** that food at one time! That would just break the willing suspension of disbelief)! After waiting for about 2 hours to let all that yummy (well, except for the casserole, which no one touched) food digest, the family goes to see that physical therapist the doctor recommended. They find the building with the red and black roof after driving around for about 15 minutes. They enter the building and see some unconventional instruments, as well as some classic ones that help with the therapy. A woman with brown eyes and brown hair approaches them.

* * *

"You must be the Loud family. Lincoln's doctor told me you'd be arriving. I'm Jessica, but you can just call me Jess. The program is broken up into 2 halves, the energetic half, which is what people normally think of when they think of physical therapy, and the creative half, where you do activities that you wouldn't normally think would help, but actually do. So, Lincoln, since this is your workout regimen, you can pick whichever one you want." Jessica clarifies to them

"How about the energetic half, first?" Lincoln states

"Want to get your blood pumping first, huh? I like it! Alright, Lincoln. Which section of the energetic half to you want to tackle first? Cyan, purple, red, blue, or green?

"Red seems like the hardest, so I'll get that one out of the way first." Lincoln reasons

"You're really ambitious, aren't you? Alright, red it is then!"

"The red one…you have to last 3 3:00 rounds with me in a boxing match! You don't have to win by triple knockout, you just have to last the 9 minutes! Don't worry, I'll go easy on you." Jessica reassures him

Lincoln and Jessica dress up in their boxing attire, they head into a room with a boxing ring with the CBBA logo on it, Jessica activates the red section by pressing a button. All the lights turn on, the red monitor above the ring turns red and has a silhouette of Lynn Jr superimposed on it.

"Ok, ready?" Jessica asks

"Ready"

The 3 minutes for round 1 start…he gets knocked down by a weak jab about 2:00 minutes in.

"Don't worry, you'll get better." Jessica encourages

Even though Jess said she was holding back, she was using _Glass Joe_ levels of punches. Basically, I'm saying Lincoln got his ass kicked by Glass Joe, and that's just sad.

* * *

"Ok, how about creative side, black section?" Lincoln asked, figuring out that the sections have the same colors that correspond to his sisters

"Sure, Lincoln. Follow me to the black section." Jessica responds

They loud family head to the room directly across from the red section, this is the black section. Lincoln and Jessica change back into their normal attire.

"The black section…it's supposed to strengthen your carpal and metacarpal ligaments. The challenge here is to trace the calligraphy with this pen. It's harder than you think." Jessica explains, as she hands Lincoln a ballpoint pen.

Jessica hits a red button to turn off the power to the red section and hits a black button to turn on the lights in the black section. The monitor in the black section has a silhouette of Lucy superimposed on it, the line around Lucy's shadow is white so you can see her.

Lincoln tries to trace the calligraphy; His pen marks are all over the place.

* * *

"Ok, that didn't work, how about energetic side, cyan section?"

"Alright, follow me."

Everyone heads to the northernmost room on the left, the cyan section. Jessica cuts the power to the black section and restores power to the cyan section. The monitor in the cyan section has a silhouette of Lori superimposed on it.

"For the cyan section, you have to dodge a whole bunch of projectiles! Here's some equipment that'll protect you."

Lincoln wears the padding over his regular clothes and wears the face mask helmet to protect his head.

"For now, we have the machine set at the lowest setting, all of the projectiles are foam balls, so you won't get hurt. This will help with your leg dexterity." Jessica clarifies

Lincoln managed to dodge 5 foam balls, before tripping over himself and falling.

"That muscle atrophy must be severe…well, that's why you're here!"

* * *

"Ok, creative side, seafoam green section, please."

"It's just across from this room."

Everyone heads across the hall from the cyan section to the seafoam green section. It's a sewing room, there's a sewing machine in the center. Lincoln sits down in front of it. Leni's eyes light up! Jessica turns off the lights in the cyan section and turns on the power to the seafoam green section. The monitor in this section has a silhouette of Leni superimposed on it.

"Seafoam green, you have to stich the fabrics with the instructions shown. It will help your hand-eye coordination." Jessica explains

Lincoln attempts to sew, but fails horribly.

* * *

"Ok, how about energetic side, green section?"

Jessica leads them to a room at the bottom left. Everyone enters. Jessica turns off the power to the seafoam green section and restores power to the green section. The monitor has a silhouette of Lisa superimposed on it.

"The green section is pretty hard. You have to run on this treadmill, while avoiding the hurdles on top and on bottom, while you have to answer quiz questions. Think you can handle all that?"

"Sure"

Lincoln gets on the treadmill; the first question pops up. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

"Really? The answer is SpongeBob." Lincoln asserts as he ducks an overhead hurdle while running and jumping over a grounded hurdle

Question 2: Who painted "The Scream?"

" _Edvard Munch_!" Lincoln blurted out while jumping over 2 consecutive hurdles

Question 3: How do you spell Dante's last name?

"A-l-i-g-h-e-r-i" Lincoln spelled out

ERROR! INCORRECT!

The machine immediately stops, sending Lincoln flying back into an air mattress.

"Ignoramus!" Lisa derided him "It's A-l-i-g-h-i-e-r-i! Don't you know anything about Italian surnames?! You're even more retarded than Leni!"

 **"HEY!"** Both Lincoln and Leni shout at her

"Lisa Loud, that is enough!" Lynn Sr scolds "Not everyone is as gifted as you!"

"Isn't that the truth." Lisa retorts cynically

"One more sardonic quip like that and we'll punish you for berating your siblings…again."

"Fine. I'm sorry, Lincoln and Leni…" Lisa said, but the camera pans behind her to show that she had her fingers crossed

"Ok, you're about halfway through the workout, so which section do you want to tackle next?"

* * *

"How about…lilac?" Lincoln questions

"OK? But the Lilac section hasn't been used in quite some time…It's across the hall." Jessica answers

Everyone heads across the hall to the lilac section. Jessica restores power to this section while simultaneously turning off the power to the green section. The lilac section's monitor has a silhouette of Lily superimposed on it. A screen in the front of the room has a stupidly easy question on it.

"This room was meant to help people with intellectual disorders. Down syndrome, mental retardation, Tourette's syndrome, ADHD; as well as stupid people in general. It was rendered obsolete because no one used this room. Anyone who had an intellectual disorder went to the psychology diagnostic building where Christina works to get diagnosed. After all, who would expect a **NEUROLOGICAL** therapy test for a **PHYSICAL** therapy building. Lincoln, I don't think this room will help with your regimen, if you want to be mentally challenged, the green section has quiz questions."

Lincoln agrees, and they head back to the main hub of the physical therapy building.

* * *

"Lincoln, maybe you should take a break? You can do whatever you'd like. We can resume the second half of the workout when you're done." Jessica advises

"How about chess? Do you have that?" Lincoln asks

"Yes, it's in storage. It still has all the pieces!"

Jessica leaves to go get it. She returns with a chessboard, complete with all the pieces.

"Lola, will you play a round with me?" Lincoln questions

"Sure, Linky…"

"I'll go easy on you. I won't use any super advanced openers or any clever tricks this time."

The chessboard is set up. Lola plays white while Lincoln plays black. Lola has the first move.

"Pawn to C3"

"Knight to C6"

"Pawn to H4"

"Knight to F6"

"Pawn to F4"

"Pawn to A5"

"Pawn to E3"

"Knight to E4"

"Knight to F3"

"Knight captures pawn at D2"

"Bishop captures knight at D2"

"Pawn to G5"

"Pawn captures pawn at G5"

"Rook to A6"

"Knight to E5"

"Knight to D4"

"Pawn captures knight at D4"

"Rook to C6"

"Pawn to H5"

"Rook to G8"

"Bishop captures pawn at A5"

"Bishop to H6"

"Pawn captures bishop at H6"

"Rook to C4"

"Knight captures pawn at F7"

"King to F8"

"Bishop to C7; Well, who are you going to capture, Linky? Are you going to capture my knight with your king; Or use your queen to capture my bishop?"

"King captures knight at F7"

"Bishop sacrifice at D8, queen captured!"

"Rook captures Bishop at D8"

"Queen to D2"

"Pawn to D5"

"Rook to H4"

"Rook captures pawn at D4"

"Pawn captures rook at D4"

"Bishop to F5"

"Knight to C3"

"Rook to D6"

"Rook to F4"

"Knight sacrifice to D5, pawn captured"

"Rook captures knight at D5"

"Rook captures bishop at F5"

"Rook captures rook at F5, nice try, Lola"

"King to E2"

"Rook sacrifice at F1, bishop captured"

"Rook captures rook at F1, check"

"King to G7"

"Pawn captures king at G7, checkmate, Lincoln!"

Lola…Lola actually beat Lincoln at chess! He congratulates her.

"Wow Lola, amazing job!"

"Thanks, Linky…"

"Now that your break is over, lets finish the second half of your physical therapy workout, which of the remaining sections do you want to take on next, Lincoln?" Jessica questions

* * *

"How about the purple section?"

"Alright, follow me to the purple section."

Jessica leads the Loud family to the northernmost room. Jessica turns on the power to the purple section. The monitor in the purple section has a silhouette of Luna superimposed on it.

"In the purple section, you have to strum this harp to various musical compositions. This challenge will improve your manual dexterity and reestablish the motor skills in your hands." Jessica explains

Lincoln gets _Vivaldi's_ _"Four Seasons"_ as the first composition he has to play, he played the wrong notes and was completely off sync with the tune of the composition.

* * *

"Ok, I think I'll try the yellow section, creative side…" Lincoln states

"Alright, we know the drill…" Jessica said as she turns off the lights to the purple section. Everyone heads to the southernmost room, this is the yellow section. Jessica restores power to the yellow section. The monitor in this room has a silhouette of Luan superimposed on it.

"The yellow section…you have to help the comedian on stage avoid the "hecklers" throwing "tomatoes" at them. You have to not let them get hit! You can push them out of the way, but not out of the way of the spotlight. Otherwise, their performance is over! Luan, want to volunteer to be the comedienne?" Jessica asks

"Sure!" Luan replies back

The challenge starts, Lincoln managed to deflect 27 "tomatoes" (really, just red foam balls) before Luan got hit 3 times.

"27! A new record!"

* * *

"That was fun, next should be the pink section!" Lincoln exclaims

"Pink section is to the left of the main room. Let's go!"

Everyone heads to the pink section room. Jessica turns on the power to this room while turning off the power to the yellow section. The monitor in this room has a silhouette of Lola on it.

"The pink section's challenge is to walk on these runways and copy the other person's pose. This will condition all of the tendons and ligaments in your arms and legs. Think of it as hamstring stretching for all of your limbs." Jessica clarifies "Lola, want to be the person Lincoln should be copying?"

"Ha, never thought you'd ask!" Lola exclaims

The challenge begins… Lincoln copies 3 of the poses right before he messes up.

* * *

"Ok, the only section you haven't done is the blue one, it's to the right of the main room. Time to finish this, Lincoln!"

Jessica turns off the power to the pink section and activates the power to the blue section. The loud family heads to the final section of the entire physical therapy building, the blue section, inside is a massive green screen and a VR headset. The monitor in the room has an image of Lana superimposed on it.

"Using this state of the art virtual reality technology, you will hike a nature trail, while trying to avoid hazards like poison ivy and bears. This is the same technology that the military uses to train soldiers and to try and treat PTSD. So, a simple hike in the "great outdoors" should be nothing!

5 minutes into the challenge. VR Lincoln walked into a lake and drowned.

"Well, that's all the challenges, if you keep practicing, I'm sure you'll regain the use of your arms and legs in no time, Mr. Loud." Jessica says to Lincoln

* * *

Lincoln went back there to retrain his limbs, mostly his hand muscles…since his carpals and metacarpals were more damaged than his femurs, tibiae, and patellae in the attack. Not only did he regain the use of his limb muscles, he managed to IMPROVE them!

"Ok, challenge over!" Jessica shouts

"Mr. Loud…615 foam balls dodged…you've vastly improved since your first visit!"

"Hemstitch, chain-stitch, overcast stitch, back stitch, blanket stitch, embroidery stitch, running stitch and topstitch!"

"8 consecutive garments made without a single mistake! Your eyes have been sharpened immensely!"

"Opera 21, 36, 55, 60, 67, 68, 92, 93 and 125, _Beethoven's_ 9 symphonies."

Lincoln plays the symphonies masterfully, it sounds beautiful and in sync! It took about 6 hours to play all of them!

"You managed to ace all 9 symphonies?! Amazing job, Mr. Loud!" Jessica praises

The next day…

"1024 "tomatoes" blocked…a new record! Seems like you're on top of your game today."

"Alright, think you can survive for the entire nine minutes?" Jessica challenges

"Yes"

Not only did Lincoln survive for 9 minutes, he managed to perform a TKO in the 2nd round with a minute to spare, and Jessica wasn't holding back this time!

"Ok, but how about your typography skills?"

Lincoln wrote an entire poem entirely in calligraphy, it's so clear, you can still read it, despite the words being written in a fancy way!

"Time to follow in your sibling's footsteps…"

Lincoln and Lola mirror each other's movements. Lincoln managed to mirror 360 of Lola's poses before making a single mistake!

"Great, but can you survive a hike in the wilderness?"

Not only does he survive, he broke his previous record!

"Time for the ultimate endurance challenge!"

Question 254: What is the Loud sibling's grandfather's name?

"Albert"

Lincoln dodges a barrage of hurdles in this order: down, down, up, down, up, up, down, up, up, up, down!

Question 255: What is the scientific name for the death cap mushroom?

"Amanita Phalloides"

Lincoln dodges an obstacle course worth of hurdles: up, up, up, down, up, down, down, down, up, down, down, up, down

Question 256: What is the technical term for a "kill screen"?

"Integer overflow"

Lincoln then lets the treadmill carry him off, he's too tired to continue on with the challenge.

New record: 256 consecutive correct answers

"I can safely say you've made a full recovery, Mr. Loud! You don't need my help anymore!" Jessica decries

The Loud family takes Lincoln home and congratulates him on making a full recovery!

"You can use your arms and legs again! Leni exclaims happily

"And all it took was 33 days of continuous training!" Lincoln explains

…

…

…

…

"Lori?"

"Yeah, little bro?"

"Can I see her?"

"Who, Lincoln?"

"Who do you think? Lynn, of course!"

!

"Why would you want to do that?! She almost killed you!"

"I want to find out why…"

…

…

…

…

"If… If that will make you happy…then… sure, little bro." Lori relents

"But we'll **ALL** go with you, to make sure you're safe!" Leni assures

"Agreed."

"We'll visit her tomorrow."

* * *

 **Author's Note: The red section is a shout out to "Punch Out!" The CBBA logo on the ring stands for "Comic Book Boxing Association", just like the WVBA, the "World Video Boxing Association". Jessica can also copy EVERY SINGLE BOXER'S signature move! One minute, she could use Von Kaiser's Clockwork KO, and in the next minute, she could use Mr. Sandman's Dreamland Express! In the green section, if you respond to the Dante question with the word "Basco" (as in, Dante Basco, the actor who voiced Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender), you get this response:**

 **"Ha ha...nice try! But that wasn't the Dante we were looking for."**

 **It will then eject you onto the air mattress as normal. If you're wondering why Lisa berates Lincoln for misspelling Dante Alighieri's name. Refer to this quote from the episode "Making The Grade":**

 **"Okay. But if I go back to being smart Lisa, you're getting the whole package, i.e., unabashed superiority and zero tolerance for ignoramuses. It'll probably be back to the sticky table for you."**

 **It isn't reserved for Lincoln either, she will berate anyone she sees being an ignoramus in front of her. So, pretty much, her entire family, as Lisa is the smartest member of the Louds.**

 **The lilac section was semi-popular with the few people who used it. But because almost no one used it, Jessica was forced to shut it down and refer people who have heard of the section to Dr. Christina. After all, Christina is a psychologist, so she'd be able to help them more than this section ever could. Also, Jessica and Christina did attend school together and became friends there. They're still friends, even though both of them help people, it's just one helps with physical problems, while the other helps with mental problems.**

 **I had to meticulously plan out every move of that chess match into a chess simulation program I found online. I think all of the moves taken are legal. As for the actual chess match, even though Lincoln was holding back, he still expected to win. He was surprised when Lola actually won! But...he was kind of happy she did beat him.**

 **It seems Lincoln got unlucky with the purple section. The compositional algorithm that determines which dictates the composer's opus gave Lincoln incredibly complex ones! For reference, he had to play Vivaldi's Four Seasons as his first piece. Four Seasons is a 44 minute masterpiece! How could Lincoln be expected to play this incredible piece of music with broken hands? But on his last day, he had to play Beethoven's opera of symphonies! That is about 6 HOURS of musical mayhem! Lincoln actually got hand cramps for playing so long! That's why he had to come back the next day. His hands were fine after he went to sleep the previous day, so don't worry, he's fine. Luna was so proud of him and cried tears of joy once he got through all the symphonies!**

 **Lincoln wants answers. He wants to know Lynn tried to kill him. Maybe...he even wants to make amends to her? But...will Lynn even talk back to him? Will the sisters stand up to the egocentric narcissist that was once a former shell of their sister? Will Lynn finally stop hiding from the truth? The answers Lincoln so desperately wants will be revealed on the next chapter of Sycophant...**


	38. Must Be Gone

**"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."-The Bible (King James Version), Proverb 16:18**

 **Chapter Synopsis: At Lincoln's behest, the Loud family goes to the Michigan State Government Corrections Department to visit Lynn**

* * *

The next day, the Louds head off on their arduous 165-mile journey to Muskegon, MI. After a few hours, they find it… the Michigan State Government Corrections Department. Vanzilla almost broke down…it couldn't even take a trip to the grocery store, let alone a 165-mile journey! They enter and talk with the guard.

"State your business here." The guard says gruffly

"Visiting an inmate." Lynn Sr responds

"Yeah?" He shoots back "Which one?"

"Lynn Loud Jr." Rita declares

The guard has a frozen expression, he then says this…

"Why would you EVER want to visit that…thing? Look, her crime isn't the worst thing, people who've committed mass murders are in here, they at least show SOME emotion. But HER? Nothing…just a dead stare…it's like…she's not even HUMAN…are you still sure about this?" The guard asks them

Lincoln approaches the guard…

"Yes, we're sure."

"Ok, it's your funeral. You don't have anything on you, do you?" The guard asks

"No." Everyone replies back

* * *

The guard leads them to the visiting area, he gets on his walkie talkie…

"Bring in prisoner 131164!"

A guard on the other side of the glass barrier brings Lynn Jr in the room, then moves toward the door, he stands guard.

"Alright, each of you gets 15 minutes."

The track _Forgotten Legend_ from _Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney_ begins to play...

* * *

Luan and Lily approach the glass, Luan holds the telephone to Lily; Lynn Jr picks up her telephone and listens.

"How are you, sis?" Lynn Jr questions

"In, y did u budgen 'Inkin? Donut u wuv hymn?"

"I don't know what you're trying to say, Lily…"

"Lynn, why did you bludgeon Lincoln? Don't you love him?" Luan translates

"Lily…I know you don't want to hear this, but…no, I don't love Lincoln. I never have, and I never will." Lynn answers

"Y do u ate hymn?"

"Why do you hate him?"

"Because he's a blight on our family! A boy in a family of girls, what a joke!"

"Wat a bout hymn?"

"What about him?"

[Lily points to Lynn Sr]

"Dad? I love him."

"if u ate mails enuf too kyl tem, wood u kyl r dad?"

"If you hate males enough to kill them, would you kill our dad?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"Sew, u just ate 'Inkin?"

"So, you just hate Lincoln?"

"Yes"

"Did u want too kyl 'Inkin frum the tart?"

"Did you want to kill Lincoln from the start?"

"Yes"

Upon hearing this, Lily starts to cry. Seeing her baby sister cry, Lynn sheds a few tears. Whether they were fake tears or genuine, no one knows, but I think they were real. Luan calms Lily down.

* * *

Lisa takes the telephone from Lily, Luan moves from the seat and Lisa sits down.

"So, did you fix Lincoln's AC system?" Lynn questions

"No, I won't go along with your asinine revenge scheme!

"Fine, you slipped the protoanemonin into his I.V if he lived, right? That was our plan."

Lisa nods.

"Finally, it's over, he won't be able to hurt anyone else… but…me beating him up should have killed him…"

"Lisa…I know you hate me, but thanks. I knew you would do the right thing and made sure Lincoln was brought to justice. You have my gratitude."

Lisa hands the telephone to Lola and moves to the side.

* * *

"This is all your fault, you know." Lynn taunts to her

"Lynn, stop deluding yourself. We all watched the trial. Everyone saw you admit that you were the one that killed Lana." Lola confidently states

"You were the one who made the Trinity of Violence; By the way, Lincoln didn't come up with that name, Lana did, but…she has a point. Us 3 were harsh toward him."

Lola is done talking, she hands the telephone to Lucy.

* * *

"What **ARE** you?"

"Your sister, genius."

"No, a "sister" would protect their siblings, you didn't."

"Well Luce, you didn't brighten up Lincoln's day."

Lucy flashes a magatama at Lynn!

TAKE THAT!

…

("No psyche locks…I guess she willingly broke them during the trial…")

Lucy hands the phone back to Luan…

* * *

"I've got a question for you. Do you think the worst person can change? That everybody could be a good person, if they just try?" Luan postulates to her, reminiscent of a certain final showdown in a certain overplayed videogame.

"I've already tried to befriend everyone. Lana…was the only one who could make me feel something other than emptiness. I even tried to help you guys out in the past…but still, nothing happened. I still felt dead inside."

"Well…" Luan says "You killed one of our sisters and tried to kill our brother." Luan glances at her through the glass wall "It's a good thing the justice system caught you, because if they didn't…" Luan pauses "Kid…you are gonna have a bad time next April Fool's day, because I will **NOT** go easy on you at **ALL**! You might have a chance at dying during some of those pranks, and don't worry about our siblings. I would've told them where the pranks are, but not you…" Luan gives a cold, piercing stare

Y-o-u d-i-r-t-y s-i-s-t-e-r k-i-l-l-e-r...

"You think you're any better?!" Lynn challenges "Remember all the pranks we suffered through on April Fool's days past?!"

"We aren't so different! We both enjoy the suffering of others!" Lynn shrieks at her

"Schadenfreude and sadism are completely different. I derive pleasure if my pranks lead to a series of escalating mishaps that happen to be quite humorous. You on the other hand…you literally get off on our suffering! You are wracked with a perverted sentimentality, aren't you, you deplorable creature?!" Luan deduces

* * *

Hearing Luan tell off Lynn like that evokes a strong memory buried deep in Lincoln's subconscious. A memory he'd rather forget. May 3, 2016…Royal Woods Elementary had a video contest for their 5th grade classes. This contest was Lincoln's way of finally proving to his family that he is just as good as his sisters! But he couldn't beat a video of a hamster running around on a wheel. It somehow became a viral video within the 5th grade, it got at least 60 votes! While pondering about how to make a video that's better than Hamstacam, this happened.

"We've had the camera on all day! Where exactly is this comedy gold?" [beat] "Clyde? Are you listening to me?"

"Sorry, Lincoln. I was just worried that Lynn was going to accidentally step on that rake, resulting in a series of escalating mishaps."

"That's great, Clyde, but- series of escalating mishaps?!" [hides in a bush to film Lynn]

[bouncing a soccer ball off her head] "56...57...58...59..." [steps on the rake and gets hit] "Ouch!"

[The ball bounces off a pole and onto her face, sending her flying onto a trampoline where she bounces off and lands in the soda pool]

"That was hilarious!"

Lincoln realizes he was heartless that day, putting the contest over his siblings. To make it up to them, he humiliated himself to be on the same level as them again (though Lynn though he put himself LOWER than them with the embarrassing video). Luckily, his sisters forgave him and even gave him a trophy (though it WAS a pity trophy) for being a great brother! Although, the experience still haunts him to this day, and will always haunt him for the rest of his life.

Luan hands the receiver to Luna and walks away.

* * *

"Hey, dudette. What made you hate Lincoln so much?"

"He was born."

…

"Lynn…go to hell." Luna says in a tranquil voice. She's lucky there are guards and a glass barrier protecting her, otherwise Luna would beat her within an inch of her life for saying that! How dare she insult their brother in front of the one sister who's seen as his protector!

Luna angrily slams the phone into Leni's hand and storms off.

* * *

"A corrupted mind, an emotional turmoil, an empty soul…that's the Trinity of Violence… purple, red and black, the malevolent color trinity. A calm demeanor, A love of life, an inclusive personality… a Trinity of Virtues… cyan, sap green and white, the benevolent color trinity. But you… you've blamed Lincoln for Lana's death, you let your anger get the best of you time and time again, and with such a disdain against any moral principles! You are dead inside…but, you won't be able to hurt anyone else anymore." Leni succinctly deduced, leaving everyone speechless, their mouths agape, knowing that **LENI LOUD** gave such a profound statement!

Leni hands the telephone to Lori.

* * *

"You know…thanks to Lana, I became a better sister to Lincoln."

Lynn smiles "Well, I'm glad she was able to help you."

"Do you think Lana would have liked seeing you murder Lincoln?"

Lynn locks eyes with Lori and dejectedly looks down. It seems she is feeling remorse! No one, not even Lynn herself expected this!

"No…but, I have to make sure nothing like this happens again…for her…"

"Don't worry, you've already did it."

Lynn nods.

"By the way, someone wants to see you." Lori states to her

* * *

Lincoln emerges from behind his sisters and walks up to the wall. Lynn freaks out.

 **"AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I KILLED YOU!"** Lynn shrieks

"Lynn… I want to know…"

Lincoln taps his pointer finger to his forehead.

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!

The VR chessboard reappears, using the red and black instead of its usual blue and black design.

Reminiscence: IS-7 Incident begins to play...

16 black queens surround Lynn Jr in the shape of a tower!

"Why do you hate me?" Lincoln asks

"Because you ruined our family!" Lynn asserted with all the confidence and authority of a decorated war general!

Lincoln's feeble pawn charges one of the queens, but gets deflected away. Even when Lincoln reasons with her, his queen gets deflected away! She simply won't respond to him. The match is over…Lincoln can't do anything…no one can. Lincoln is heartbroken! Even if she tried to kill him, Lincoln still considers Lynn his sister! The other sisters comfort him and escort him outside.

LOGIC CHESS; COMPLETE…

With all the siblings having talked to her, the guard escorts her to her cell; Cell 47, G block…she is placed back into solitary. Lynn knows Lincoln is alive, that means her sacrifice was all for naught! She sings softly to herself…it sounds like Reminiscence: IS-7 Incident.

* * *

 **It... It's… It's over… it couldn't be, could it?**  
 **Is this the end?**  
 **I failed you, my sweet**  
 **I'm ashamed of my defeat**  
 **So, it's true?**  
 **The times that we shared;**  
 **That you made me care**  
 **Always smiling happily;**  
 **Our perfect family**  
 **It was because of him it ended so mercilessly**  
 **He took your life and shattered it violently**  
 **All his fault**  
 **I will make him pay for…**  
 **What he's done,**  
 **Lana...**

 **He threw me off my game**  
 **Now nothing will be the same**  
 **Lincoln is the one to blame**  
 **He is our family's shame**  
 **Wearing that dumb squirrel suit**  
 **Is my plan to retribute**  
 **Why'd you have to interfere?**  
 **Lincoln does anything he hears**  
 **Because you broke the lucky streak**  
 **Your future was looking bleak**  
 **I'll always be by your side**  
 **Committing a fratricide**  
 **So, we'll finally decide**  
 **Our family will have clear minds**  
 **Now…**

Suddenly, another voice joins in! It sounds so harmonious and peaceful… It feels familiar somehow…

 **It... It's… It's over… it couldn't be, could it?**  
 **Aren't you my friend?**  
 **Why do you act so dour?**  
 **Lincoln gives our family power.**  
 **Why refuse?**  
 **My sister, that's true;**  
 **I should be happy for you**  
 **Being infantilely brash;**  
 **Stop acting so rash**  
 **It was because of you he ended up in ICU**  
 **This murder plan, why'd you follow through?**  
 **It's my fault**  
 **I made Lincoln suffer…**  
 **My brother…**  
 **Lynn...**

 **Lincoln suffers day and night**  
 **To try and end our pointless fights**  
 **He is the one who is right**  
 **He dispelled our sibling strife**  
 **Truly, there is no other**  
 **That's greater than my brother**  
 **I'll protect him till the end**  
 **This is why you will never rend**  
 **I knew that they'll go farther**  
 **If only they had a martyr**  
 **Lincoln, use my sacrifice**  
 **It'll be enough to suffice**  
 **End everlasting suffering**  
 **And enjoy the peace it'll bring**  
 **Finally, …**

* * *

Lynn recognizes the voice! Lana's ghost materializes in front of her. Lynn breaks down crying.

"Lana…I'm so sorry! I just wanted you to stop helping him! I only wanted to scare you! I…"

"I forgive you…" Lana assures her "That was an accident. But…I wanted to grow up with them…you took that away from me…"

Lynn bawls uncontrollably. She takes a moment to compose herself and start talking to Lana again. This time, Lana speaks.

"Do you know what I **CAN'T** forgive, though?"

"What?"

"People who hurt my family."

Lynn realizes she messed up…bad! Lana continues.

"I saw what you did to Lincoln, I wanted to desperately save him from you, but…since I'm a ghost, I can't do that. I could have beaten you up then, but you'd probably ignore it and continue trying to murder him. Just, how…how could have you done this? My own sister?" Lana begins to tear up "I gave up my life, so that Lincoln could have a better one. Everyone else realized their mistake and wanted to help him, why couldn't you?"

Lynn tries to muster up the courage to say something to Lana, but can't…she's about to start crying again.

"I was in that ICU every day for 42 days, hoping that our dear brother would wake up…do you know what would have happened if he died? After everyone's done grieving, our siblings will get into a fight and even more dysfunction will corrupt the house! Luckily, I intervened enough so that either Lori or Leni will be the new peacekeeper if Lincoln died, but if I **DIDN'T**? Well, with no Lincoln, I would try to do his job, but no one would listen to me as well as they'd listen to him, so eventually, our bonds will shatter, and we'd hate each other. A "broken home", I hope that that will never happen to us." Lana clarifies

"So…you were trying to fix our family…" Lynn Jr reasons

"Yeah, and you were trying to destroy it since 2005." Lana quips sarcastically "You've hated Lincoln ever since he was born! I can't believe that you hate him that much!" Lana exclaimed

"He doesn't deserve a sister as amazing as you, Lana!" Lynn Jr yells at her

"No…Lincoln doesn't deserve a sister like **YOU** , Lynn." Lana asserts back

"…"

"Well, now I know what to do… Lynn… I disown you as my sister!" Lana shouts at her

Lynn is shocked! She knows that she tried to kill Lincoln, and that is an egregious crime to anyone, but to Lana, this is the ultimate betrayal! One of her family members attempting to take the life of another…unthinkable! Lana always understood the preciousness of life, which is why she was eager to martyr herself (even though she didn't WANT to die, she just wanted to make everyone get along and see the results) to Lincoln; He is the one keeping the family together (albeit very loosely). It doesn't help Lynn's case that Lincoln and Lana have a super strong bond to one another!

"You know, I used to admire you. I wanted to be like you…" Lana begins to state

"You…wanted to be like me?" Lynn asks, bewildered

"But now? I can't even look at you. How can I respect someone who is willing to murder their own sibling?! You disgust me…" Lana said with utter disdain for her former sister. Lana doesn't see her as a harsh, but well-meaning person. She sees her as a manipulative, violent sociopath who'll destroy anyone in her way to get what she desires!

Lana's sorrow gradually turns into a tranquilly serene fury. She still has a calm demeanor… she looks at Lynn with a smiling glare. It looks like Lana is happy, but that glare really means "you hurt my brother, I will get payback for him, you're fucked now!"

"Here's a parting gift from me to you, Lynn." Lana said as she hands her a small ghostly robotic thing "It's the SB-129 bot or Suicide Blocker: Mark 129." It prevents ALL forms of suicide! So, you can't weasel your way out of your punishment. I can kill you right where you stand…but no, death is too good for you. You'll suffer in here for the rest of your life. Here's another thing…" Lana elucidates

Lynn feels a searing pain on her feet, the letters "KR" are burned onto her left and right foot, respectively. She can feel a slight pain whenever she walks.

"To explain, here's an entry from one of my favorite video game series. "#229: _Houndoom_ ; The flames it breathes when angry contain toxins. If they cause a burn, it will hurt forever." Those KR marks, they'll make you feel like you have fourth degree frostbite. It also has a necrotic effect, it will encompass your feet until they become dead weights; Fitting, since that's what you see our brother as. If you try to amputate it, it will just move somewhere else, so don't fight it, just accept it. That freezing pain will never go away, so now you'll endure the pain Lincoln suffered when you shattered his hands!" Lana declares with finality "But…it feels like there's something missing…" Lana gets a psychotic smirk on her face, one that could rival Luan's April Fool's day face! I guess she does take after Luan. "Oh yeah…payback…you hurt my brother, so I'm going to hurt YOU!" Lana says sinisterly "You took away Lincoln's chances of being a father, so I'm going to pay you back in spades! Honestly, I'd be afraid if I was your kid, but I won't let such evil continue further. It's highly unlikely that you'll be able to reproduce in solitary, but I'll make sure that this evil dies with you!"

Lincoln has had the same thing happen when he fought Chandler. Lana is pretty chill when talking about the Loud siblings. she's hard to anger, but if you do…well it's going to end badly for you, because Lana is the second strongest of the Loud siblings (only behind Lynn Jr). A surefire way to make her mad is to hurt her pets or her family. But no one would be stupid enough to do…oh, wait…

Lana approaches Lynn menacingly…

"This is for spreading that rumor and forcing Lincoln into that ridiculous costume!"

Lana delivers a fierce left hook to Lynn's right breast. She recoils back, but seems to have handled that well.

"So, you have gotten stronger…congrats." Lynn compliments

"Your sycophancy won't spare you…" Lana assures her

"This is for depriving my family of me!"

Lana delivers a brutal right hook to Lynn's left breast. She winces in pain from the severity of the strike.

"Lana, I love you!" Lynn blurts out

"Maybe you should have shared some of that with Lincoln, no…you shared LOVE." Lana corrects herself

"This is for corrupting our family!"

Lana delivers a savage uppercut to Lynn's thoracic area. Lynn is sent flying and lands on her back. Lana approaches her…

"And this…this is for Lincoln… **you bitch**."

Lana stomps down as hard as she can on Lynn's vagina. The force was so strong you could hear the organs inside being squished! There's massive internal hemorrhaging on the vaginal walls and on both parts of the labia. There are major tears on the uterus and minor tears on the fallopian tubes. The ovaries and cervix were completely destroyed, and there is severe damage to the exterior, but it's covered by blood.

A horn beeps from outside. Lana recognizes it.

"Well, that's my ride…goodbye forever, Lynn."

Lana leaves to go with her family back to Royal Woods. Lynn is left bleeding on the floor of her cell.

"You really are the best sister ever, Lana."

That was the last thing Lynn said before passing out due to the excruciating pain. Oddly, she seems to have a peaceful expression while lying in that pool of red and white…

* * *

 **Author's Note: Before we begin the author's note, here's a comprehensive list of events from every episode of the Loud House that might prove Lynn is a sociopath or not. This list may be updated as new episodes come out, but here are the ones for the released episodes. If Lynn helps the Loud siblings with anything, there might be an ulterior motive for her behind the scenes.**

 **01: Left In The Dark: When Lincoln gives Lynn the helium football, he says "for the extreme player who demands more." Lynn's response is "I demand more!" This means that she'll never be satisfied unless she's the best at whatever sport she's playing in. She's also a hypocrite, as when Lincoln inadvertently causes the blackout, Lynn mocks Lori for being scared of the dark, only for Lucy to blend in with the darkness, pop out, and jumpscare her, causing her to get angry.**

 **02: Get The Message: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **03: Heavy Meddle: Lisa berates Lynn's lack of intelligence, which Lynn takes note of. But here's the sociopathic trait for this episode. To deal with Lincoln's bully problem, Lynn suggests fighting her, she even volunteers to teach him some self-defense moves. What a great sister, right?! Wrong, because she tests said moves on HIM. Lincoln's bully is the least of his problems...**

 **04: Making The Case: Lynn's pride is showing again...she has TWO of the nine spots of the trophy case dedicated to her! Admittedly, Luna has 2 spots of the case too, but it depends if you think a gold record is worth more or less than 2 trophies and a certificate (spot 5) or 2 trophies and a ribbon (spot 7). For reference, Luna has 2 trophies in spot 1 of the case, and her gold record is in spot 3. Also, Lynn is the unintentional catalyst for this episode, as Lincoln's bad memory reminds us. This one is partially justified as Lynn (as well as the other sisters) ostracize him for humiliating them for the contest. Lynn admits that Lincoln's video of him humiliating himself to put him on the same ground as his sisters was way worse than the original video.**

 **05: Driving Miss Hazy: The first of the "ulterior motive" episodes. Lynn helps Lincoln teach Leni how to drive. Not out of the kindness of her heart, but because she too was sick of doing chores for Lori. Although she had to buff out Lori's foot calluses so...maybe she had the most to gain from Leni getting her license?**

 **06: No Guts, No Glori: A 2-for-1 deal on the sociopath special! First is Lynn teaming up with Lincoln and the other sisters to overthrow the tyrannical Lori for her ulterior motive. Later on in the episode, when Lincoln realizes her harshness was the only thing that brought balance to the Loud house with their parents gone due to a date night, he tries to follow in Lori's footsteps, only to be laughed at by the other siblings. Lynn even mocks him by saying "who do you think you are, LORI?!" Then she laughs.**

 **07: The Sweet Spot: This quote from her sums it up quite nicely. "You're going to possess a bruise in a minute!" All Lincoln wants is the only good seat left in Vanzilla. It's not his fault Lynn Sr won't get rid of it because it was his father's father's van.**

 **08: A Tale Of Two Tables: Actually, she's not that bad in this episode. This episode is eschewed.**

 **09: Project Loud House: She tries to do sporty stuff with Lincoln and she doesn't attack him (well, she tried wrestling him, lucha libre style, but he dodged). This episode is eschewed.**

 **10: In Tents Debate: An ulterior motive episode, although she and 4 others also have the same motive. To convince Lincoln to vote for Dairyland amusement park, she gives him a massage to convince him. Lynn is the strongest sibling...she is also not a trained chiropractor. What I'm getting at is that she could have broken some of Lincoln's vertebral disks, either on accident or on purpose! Luckily, because this is a kids show, Lincoln comes out of it fine. But just imagine if Lynn accidently made Lincoln a tetraplegic. She also turns his hot water cold to sabotage the other team.**

 **11: Sound Of Silence: The 1st of the Fatal 4; Lynn makes Lincoln think he agreed to spar with her. Naturally, she kicks his ass. The original plan was that Lynn was going to march into Lincoln's room and tear the earbuds from him, presumably while they were still in there! This could permanently damage his cochlea and make him deaf for the rest of his life! Thank god Lola managed to convince her otherwise...**

 **12: Space Invader: THIS EPISODE... this is why I think Lynn is a sociopath. It's nothing but Lynn being an obnoxious jerk to Lincoln without any remorse to him whatsoever! She doesn't even thank him when he gets her and Lucy to make up! Why do some people ship these 2, again?!**

 **13: Picture Perfect: A rare role reversal where Lincoln is the antagonist of the episode. Lynn does nothing wrong here. This episode is eschewed.**

 **14: Undie Pressure: She's conspires with the other sisters to make Lincoln lose the bet. She has no personal stake in this, she just wants to help Lola make Lincoln miserable. She isn't even bothered by Lincoln reading comics in his undies. Lola is the only sister that can't tolerate his annoying habit.**

 **15: Linc Or Swim: Lynn chooses Lincoln to be her "chicken fight" partner, despite the fact that she knows he's weak, when compared to her. It's kind of telling when Lincoln's fantasy has her pair up with Luna instead.**

 **16: Changing The Baby: Lynn wants Lily to be her sports buddy. There are many things wrong with this. One, Lily's a baby, so I don't think baseball is a safe sport for her...or any sport, for that matter. Two, and this is the most egregious, Lynn pitches while Lily bats. But Lily's wearing a helmet in that scene, I hear you say. My counter argument is that Lily's forehead isn't protected. There have been documented cases where people have died due to errant fastballs slipping past the safety equipment (most infamously, the Ray Chapman incident of August 6, 1920). Lynn might have KILLED Lily because of her carelessness. Luna and Lisa are guilty of this too.**

 **17: Overnight Success: Lincoln is his own antagonist in this episode. This episode is eschewed.**

 **18: Ties That Bind: This one could go either way. On the one hand, Lynn took Lincoln's betrayal the hardest, eating a Lincoln pancake to show her anger (Lincoln made that to bribe his dad into keeping him over his sisters). But she also vouches for Lincoln to stay along with the other sisters. This one is up to your interpretation.**

 **19: Hand Me Downer: Ok, Lynn is justified for being angry here. Lincoln stole her bike to show off and got it lost. Lynn is cleared from suspicion on this one. This episode is eschewed.**

 **20: Sleuth Or Consequences: Lynn mocks his Ace Savvy costume, insults him when he accuses her for clogging the toilet and possibly clogs the toilet at the end of the episode (though that last one is an insult to US, the viewers, for watching that episode).**

 **21: Butterfly Effect: Dream episode, doesn't count.**

 **22: The Green House: While all of the sisters waste energy in frivolous ways, Lynn's has the potential to cause most harm. She fills up a pool and freezes it to train for hockey. What does she use to freeze the water? The refrigerator. You know, the one where they keep all of their food. We don't know how long it took to freeze the pool, but if it was more than 4 hours, then ALL of their food would've been spoiled! And as we know from a future episode, the Louds only have $200 dollars to spend on 13 family members. Also, the refrigerator shouldn't have worked. Even though there's a plug sticking out of it, the cable wouldn't be long enough to get from the kitchen to the backyard where the pool is.**

 **23: Along Came A Sister: Lynn helps the family keep Frances away from Leni, this episode is eschewed.**

 **24: Chore and Peace: Granted, ALL of the sisters go on strike, but that was to stop Lincoln from screwing up the balance of chore duties within the Loud house. All Lincoln wanted was a less difficult chore, though as we see, all of the chores are equally hard. This one is another one that can go either way, depends on if you want to punish all of the sisters or not.**

 **25: For Bros About To Rock: Lynn is her usual jerky self, but this time, it's not toward Lincoln, it's toward Luna! She calls Luna nuts when she tags along to the other sister's first concerts. Lincoln learns later on in the episode that it's because her first rock concert made her into who she is today.**

 **26: It's A Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud, House: The 2nd of the Fatal 4; This episode is what happens in Viacom's office everyday, just replace the Loud siblings with Viacom CEO's and executives. As for the actual episode, the Loud siblings fight over money. All of them defend their rooms in different ways during the hunt for the money, but Lynn's is pretty brutal. When Lincoln asks for a status update on the whereabouts of the cash, Lynn yells at him to get out of their room and fires a tennis ball launcher like a machine gun at him! Lucy got hit about 5 times due to being in the crossfire. And this was after Lynn used Lucy to scout the laundry room to find said greenbacks. In that encounter, Lincoln startles her and made her drop Lucy, she later apologized to her after that, but she didn't apologize for the tennis ball incident. She also threatened to shove Lincoln down the laundry chute for snooping around.**

 **27: Toads And Tiaras: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **28: 2 Boys And A Baby: Lynn does appear in this episode, but she doesn't do anything aside from looking miserable from going to Aunt Ruth's. This episode is eschewed.**

 **29: Cover Girls: Lynn begs Lincoln to finish her spring cleaning so that she can hit the first ball shot from the batting cage's new pitching machine for good luck. Could this episode have foreshadowed No Such Luck by showing how serious Lynn is with her superstitions?**

 **30: Save The Date: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **31: Attention Deficit: Lynn interrogates Lincoln about how different he looks. He admits he's been spending time at Clyde's and Lynn decides to tag along the next day. Also, she said that if her arm wasn't sore from the McBride's vaccinations, she'd punch him! One would assume this is a friendly dig in the arm, but knowing Lynn and how she gives her all into everything, she most likely would have punched him as hard as she could have!**

 **32: Out On A Limo: Hypocrisy at it's finest. After Lincoln realizes he's been as big of a jerk as Lord Tetherby, he apologizes to Kirby, the chauffeur, and manages to get one last ride from him. Once he tries to repair the broken promise of taking his sisters to a fast food restaurant known as the Burpin' Burger, Lynn says "I thought he only had it for a day! We gotta put up with more of his attitude?" Ironic, since Lynn has a smug attitude most of the time within the show. It doesn't feel so good to be on the other side, doesn't it?**

 **33: House Music: Lynn is okay in this episode. This episode is eschewed.**

 **34: A Novel Idea: Again, Lynn is tame in this episode. This episode is eschewed.**

 **35: April Fools Rules: Nope, all of the siblings run away from Luan. This episode is eschewed.**

 **36: Cereal Offender: All of the sisters cause havoc at the supermarket. Lynn causes chaos by riding on a grocery cart saying "yippie ki yay, market shoppers" in a reference to Die Hard. Once Lincoln convinces her to eject, she lands on marshmallows, while Lincoln lands on pineapples, though that last one shows us that Lincoln kind of has bad luck...**

 **37: Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru: All of the sisters eat his chocolate. How many bars did they eat if Clyde said there was enough chocolate for 84 pies?! But we're here about Lynn. In a flashback she attempts to asphyxiate, or at least annoy, Lincoln by covering him and releasing a Dutch Oven under the sheets.**

 **38: Come Sale Away: Applies to every Loud sibling, but they sold everything in their house. I think even though that they live in the house, it would count as Rita and Lynn Sr's property, so technically, the Loud kids might have broken a law or 2...**

 **39: Roughin' It: In a flashback, Lynn teaches Lincoln to lift a heavy trashcan. She lifts it and throws it...onto Lynn Sr. It's Lynn's fault for not seeing him, and Lynn Sr's fault for walking directly in front of the trashcan.**

 **40: The Waiting Game: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **41: The Loudest Yard: An ulterior motive episode, but Lincoln convinces her to do it. Lincoln wants to just play video games and read comic books all day, but Rita wants him to exercise, so she signs him up for junior football. After a training montage, during which she makes him eat raw eggs, which would have killed both of them from salmonella poisoning, since Lynn drank them too. They go the park and meet 2 members of the opposing team, the Hazeltucky Hockers! After getting belittled by them, Lincoln convinces Lynn to take his place for the entire season. She's only doing this for the glory, she even admits she's doing 4 other sports at the same time. Problem is that Lynn only knows how to give 110%, so now the Loud family thinks Lincoln is a star football player. During the final game, their ruse is exposed. It all worked out for Lynn though, the coach wanted her back on his team next season!**

 **42: Raw Deal: At Grand Venture State Park, Lincoln becomes hypochondriatic due to Lucy predicting that "his day will end in tragedy". Upon being annoyed that he's taking so long to hike up a simple trail, Lynn yells "Lincoln! Get your butt up here!" To which he replies "Shh! You wanna cause an avalanche?" Her response is to shout as loud as possible at him. Lincoln's fears are borderline paranoia in this episode, but what would have happened if Lynn actually caused a rockslide with her yelling? Lincoln would have died for real! Of course, it's just a normal trail, so there's no chance of that happening.**

 **43: Dance, Dance Resolution: Lynn was so bummed out that Ronnie Anne didn't ask Lincoln to the dance, so she got him a date. Unfortunately, Luna, Luan and Lucy also got him a date. And worse, Lincoln didn't want Ronnie Anne to ask him so he could take advantage of the 2-for-1 deal at Gus' Games and Grub. Lynn's date is just a different character model with Lynn's personality. But maybe this is a good thing, cause Rusty hooked up with her, and he isn't exactly a ladies man, even if he claims to be one.**

 **44: A Fair To Remember: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **45: One of the Boys: No difference between either boy Lynn and girl Lynn, even though this is a dream episode, I'm still counting it because Lynn pantsed him for no reason other than it amused her.**

 **46: A Tattler's Tale: She teams up with Lincoln and the other sisters to stop an even greater threat...Lola.**

 **47: Funny Business: Lynn got fired from Funny Business Inc. by throwing a watermelon at Luan during her juggling act. Luckily, Luan wasn't too mad, otherwise April Fool's day might've come early for her. Also, she and Lana laugh when Lincoln pratfalls. Lana is 6, and is close to the target demographic to find that funny. Lynn on the other hand is 13, she shouldn't find that as funny as Lana did, so my hypothesis was that Lynn wasn't laughing because of the pratfall, she was laughing because Lincoln intentionally hurt himself!**

 **48: Snow Bored: She made Lisa take a sled ride operated by her. This is Lynn we're talking about, so of course she pushed the sled with all of her strength on the course she made. Unfortunately, the surface on the course was frictionless, so the sled sped down the track like greased lightning and ejected Lisa out! If she didn't land in the soft snow she would have died from the impact, as you can tell by the imprint left by her crashing into the snow, it went pretty deep...**

 **49: The Price Of Admission: Lincoln tries to stay awake by having a basketball exhibition match with Lynn. She won 52-0, but Lincoln wasn't even trying. She's ok in this episode. This episode is eschewed.**

 **50: One Flu Over The Loud House: Unintentional, but she infected Lana by drinking straight from the orange juice carton! Totally intentional, she knowingly got herself infected after Lori sneezed on her basketball!**

 **51: Study Muffin: Admittedly, she's one of the tamer sisters, but like all the other sisters, she is obsessed with Hugh.**

 **52: Homespun: In a flashback, she wanted everyone to cannonball into a hole filled with floodwater from a storm. First, we don't know how deep the water was. If it was shallow, someone could have broken a bone! Second, as Lori so abrasively, but honestly put it "Ew! I'm not swimming in grody basement water!" She's right, we don't know what pathogens are in that filthy water! They could have gotten infected with some terrible disease! Of course, Lori joins in once Lynn finds an earring that Bobby gave her.**

 **53: 11 Louds a Leapin': Lynn's subplot within the episode is that she and Lucy are trying to abscond with their Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. Normally, you're supposed to wait until Christmas before opening them. Through this action, both Lynn and Lucy hath committed the sin of avarice (or greed, if you prefer the simplified version). Lynn so far has encompassed 4 of the 7 deadly sins. Those being wrath, pride, gluttony and greed. It's not looking good for her...**

 **54: Intern For The Worse: You know how in the service industry when they say "the customer is always right?" Lynn both uses and abuses this. She demands that someone should get provisions for her and her baseball team, of which there are about 22 members, including Lynn herself and Margo. Clyde somehow manages to satisfy them all.**

 **55: The Old And The Restless: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **56: Baby Steps: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **57: Brawl In The Family: The 3rd of the Fatal 4; All of the sisters get into arguments over petty things, while Lincoln unintentionally adds fuel to the fire.**

 **58: Suite and Sour: Lynn has a competition with Lana to see who can reach the bottom floor first. They break both elevators (though Lana technically won by being 1 floor lower when the elevator broke), thus setting off a whole chain of events that gets the rest of the Loud siblings in trouble. She also breaks the fancy shower by accident.**

 **59: Back In Black: She destroys Lincoln and Rusty's science project to force Lucy and Rocky to hang out. Even if Lucy wanted to hang out with Rocky, that was still a pretty jerky thing to do. Also notice that none of the sisters react to this, still being happy that Lucy might be able to be friends with Rocky. This shows what's more important to them...**

 **60: Making The Grade: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **61: Vantastic Voyage: Lynn joins up with the rest of her family to convince Lynn Sr that Vanzilla is a pile of junk that needs to be replaced. It works, but now Lynn Sr is obsessed with the new van, so the rest of the Loud family conspire to get Vanzilla back. This is an ulterior motive episode.**

 **62: Patching Things Up: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **63: Cheater By The Dozen: This one is a rarity among episodes, Lynn joins up with the siblings because they all care about Lori. Even though Lori beat her up with a stale loaf of bread one time, they still try to look out for her. This episode is eschewed.**

 **64: Lock 'N' Loud: Lynn berates Leni for flirting with their fake burglar. Justified in that this would probably get you shanked in real life. Lynn also helps Lincoln pour congealed bacon grease on the "burglar" (really, just Lynn Sr in a hoodie). Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that they didn't know about bacon grease's explosive properties, as old WW2 grease drive propaganda tells us. Just light a match and...well they pretty much have a homemade bomb to attack the burglar with! As for the episode, Lynn does it to protect her family and her belongings. This episode is eschewed.**

 **65: The Whole Picture: Lynn is nice to Lincoln...for this episode. This episode is eschewed.**

 **66: No Such Luck: The 4th and final Fatal 4 episode; This episode is the one that catalyzes all the events that lead into Sycophant. Lincoln feels overburdened having to go to so many of his sisters' events back to back over a long period of time (we don't know how long exactly, but lasts AT LEAST a month). Once he tries to escape, he runs into Lynn who threatens him by brandishing a wooden baseball bat at him. If he didn't agree, Lincoln's head would have made a great substitute for a baseball. Luckily for Lincoln, he agrees. Lynn loses the match and when Lincoln tries to console her over her loss, the bitch claims that he's bad luck, even Lincoln thinks it's ridiculous! Next, when Leni tries to encourage Lincoln to go to her charity fashion show, Lynn claims that he's bad luck because SHE lost the game. Lincoln, just wanting some alone time, confirms it. Leni then spreads the lie around and everyone is afraid his bad luck will affect them. If Lincoln refused the lie however, it wouldn't have made much of a difference, because if Lincoln wouldn't have spread it, Lynn would have, until someone else spreads it around and we're back to the original outcome. At least Lynn acts genuinely afraid of him. Once Lincoln is kicked out of the house, he comes up with the plan to sneak into one of Lynn's baseball games to prove Lynn's superstition wrong. Once Lynn wins this game, she apologizes to Lincoln halfheartedly (though it's because she's never had to admit she's wrong before) and they all go to the beach to celebrate the success of their dad's work presentation. Lincoln isn't considered bad luck anymore...but only when wearing the squirrel suit. I'm neutral on this episode, but it made me realize what a heartless bitch Lynn really is. Also, I consider Lola to be a secondary antagonist in the episode, she's basically Lynn's mouthpiece, constantly reminding everyone that Lincoln has bad luck.**

 **67: Frog Wild: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **68: Kick The Bucket List: One of Lincoln's activities was to prepare a sandwich with Clyde. Once Lincoln finishes it, Lynn comes in and comments on how the sandwich is 6 feet. Lincoln tries to eat a small portion of it, but when the camera pans to show Lynn, she's already eaten half of it! Lynn ate about 36 inches of sandwich! She's a carbo-loading glutton! Unless the sandwich was off by a few inches (Subway doesn't have foot longs, they have 11-inch sandwiches, what a rip-off!) she just ate the equivalent of 3 foot-long submarine sandwiches in a single sitting! How can a normal person even fathom that?! Also she belched into Lincoln's face just to be an obnoxious jerk to him.**

 **69: Party Down: Lynn plays with the twins and isn't mean at all! This episode is eschewed.**

 **70: Fed Up: An ulterior motive episode. All of the Loud siblings sabotage Lynn Sr's cooking so that he'll order pizza for them. Lincoln tries to cook for them to prove to Lynn Sr that it's possible to make more than 7 meals and it backfires horribly. After feeding everyone a nausea inducing potluck of miscellaneous food which was so terrible that everyone spit it back out, Lynn has the balls to ask if they can have pizza again!**

 **71: Shell Shock: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **72: Pulp Friction: Debatable, but I think Lynn helped Lincoln retrieve his comic book from principal Huggins for the same reason Lola picked the lock to the detention room, to become famous if Lincoln managed to win the contest. On an unrelated note, how was Lola able to pick the lock if Lana couldn't in the episode "Frog Wild"? Also, Lynn managed to snag a raccoon instead of Lincoln's comic, but Lynn didn't intend for that to happen.**

 **73: Pets Peeved: Lynn does appear in the episode, but the main focus is on the pets. This episode is eschewed.**

 **74: Potty Mouth: Ulterior motive episode, but it's not HER motive, it's their parents'. The Loud siblings try to "delete the "D" word" from Lily's vocabulary before an interview between the owner of a prestigious daycare that their parents tried to get into ever since Rita was pregnant...with Lori. The attempt didn't work, because even though Lily was just trying to say "donut" (or doughnut, it has 2 different spellings), Charles steals it, causing Lily to swear for real. Even though it was censored, I think Lily said "fuck" when Charles steals her precious dessert. Bad doggy!**

 **75: L Is For Love: Her idea of a love token is a jockstrap. Needless to say, it goes horribly wrong when her crush gets blinded by it and wanders, and somehow falls, into a trashcan. Obviously, she didn't intend for this to happen. She also agrees with Lana that Lynn Sr is a dork (although, have you seen the way he acts in the show, they're not entirely wrong).**

 **76: The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **77: Out Of The Picture: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **78: Room With A Feud: It seems like she'd get along great with Lana, but no. Lana's snake slept on her lucky jersey and ate all her protein bars. Upon hearing this, Lynn snaps a hockey stick in frustration. Just replace said hockey stick with one of Lana's bones and you can see how terrible she can be. Apparently, Lynn is the most compatible with Leni, of all people! She also helped Lana move Lincoln back into his room while he was asleep.**

 **79: Back Out There: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **80: Spell It Out: She interrupts Lucy's séance by practicing her crewing. She also stores her sports equipment in Lucy's coffin/secondary bed. Karma finally strikes her when she gets kicked off her crewing team because she couldn't direct them. She couldn't direct them because she lost her voice cheering for their grandfather's win at what is presumed to be the most epic shuffleboarding match of all time, at least, it should have been, if it was able to make all of the Loud siblings cheer hard enough to temporarily lose their voices.**

 **81: Fool's Paradise: Luan terrorizes the Loud siblings again. This episode is eschewed.**

 **82: Job Insecurity: This one applies to all of the siblings. They all agreed that they ruined many things in Lynn Sr's life. They listed off his workplace's "take you sibling to work day" (foreshadowed in "A Novel Idea), his 40th birthday, his college reunion, a roller dance competition, his colonoscopy and, in this episode, got him fired from the Aloha Comrade Hawaiian/Russian fusion restaurant. They thought that he was working a job he hates (being dishwashing), but it was actually him working his way up to his dream job (chef). Once the Loud siblings tell Lynn Sr this, he tries to reassure them that they actually make his life better. Luckily, Lynn Sr's cooking was so popular with the customers of the restaurant that head chef Sergei immediately promoted him to sous-chef (he said "co-chef", but that's because the only chefs working there that we see are Lynn Sr and Sergei himself).**

 **83: ARGGH! You For Real?: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **84: Garage Banned: Lynn broke Lucy's bust of Edwin's fangs, and Lucy wants her to pay to fix it. She then promptly tells Lucy that Edwin isn't real and to get over it. It seems that even to Lucy, Lynn is an uncaring bitch. Edwin might not be real to her, but Lucy covets that statue more than anything (except maybe Lincoln). Lynn is roommates with Lucy, so she should know how important Edwin is to her.**

 **85: Change Of Heart: Lynn threw a Frisbee that somehow hit Clyde in the nose, which sparks a series of unfortunate events that make Lori think that Clyde is crushing on Leni instead of her. This one is debatable depending if you think this was an accident or on purpose.**

 **86: Health Kicked: This one applies to all of the siblings. The Loud kids want their parents to stop being lazy slobs (which kind of makes Rita a hypocrite in this episode, getting Lincoln to exercise in "The Loudest Yard", but the inconsistency is probably because Kevin Sullivan wrote this episode, while Bob Mittenthal wrote "The Loudest Yard") so they try to get them to exercise. It backfires, since now, all Rita and Lynn Sr do IS exercise, and they force their kids to work out with them for a solid week! Lynn helps in tricking their parents so the Loud siblings don't have to exercise anymore! Though, Lynn should be the one who enjoys exercise; I guess she can't take 7 days worth of intense training...**

 **87: Future Tense: Lynn is pretty tame this episode. All she does is complain about being forced to be "well-rounded", just like the other siblings. This episode is eschewed.**

 **88: Lynn-er Takes All: This is the quintessential episode to explore Lynn's character. The premise of this episode is that Lynn wins almost as much as Lex Luthor does in Superman 64! That's not the problem though...the Loud siblings can handle Lynn winning. It's her unsportsmanlike gloating they can't stand! She even gloats in everyone's face and calls them losers. She even shaves the word "loser" on the back of Lincoln's head! So, the other siblings team up to take her down. First, Lola challenges Lynn to a game of Pretty, Pretty, Pageant Queen, which Lola almost wins, but thanks to Lynn reading the instructions, finding a Phoenix Wright-esque loophole and some ridiculous luck (ironic, I know), she gets the auto-win condition of rolling 3 10's! Lisa even said the chance of that happening is about 1/1720 (it would have been higher if Lynn didn't interrupt Lisa to gloat about actually getting the instant win condition, thus telling us what the odds actually are). Second, Lana challenges her to a game of Plumbing Pro (a plumber themed Operation), Lynn messes up once, but after hearing that she gets 2 chances, she runs outside, self-motivates (and possibly harms) herself, and manages to pull out everything. Lastly, Lincoln challenges her to an Ace Savvy Trivia game, where Lynn proceeds to PSYCOLOGICALLY MANIPULATE him, to get him to mess up, and it works! They resort to using "The Settlers Of Cat-Land" (based of the game Catan) to beat her by not giving her anything. The siblings thought this would stop the gloating...it didn't. Now, Lynn turns EVERYTHING into a competition to regain her lost edge. The siblings decide that the only way for things to go back to normal is to play Cat-Land again and throw the game, which Leni does, hilariously. Lynn realizes that her siblings see her as both a sore winner and a sore loser, and does absolutely nothing with that information, as the episode ends with Lynn gloating again! The only difference is that she doesn't do it to her siblings faces! At least they're happy with this...**

 **89: Yes-Man: She, along with the rest of the sisters, ask Lincoln for help to get money from their parents. They also held a SMOOCH themed rock concert as thanks for helping them. They even managed to get the real SMOOCH to make a custom song for him. Now THAT is dedication. The only thing I can think of that Lynn did wrong was using unnecessary roughness on Lynn Sr during their basketball game. This episode is eschewed.**

 **90: Friend or Faux: Lynn's only appearance in this episode was having a friendly exhibition hockey match with Margo. She didn't do anything remotely mean this episode. This episode is eschewed.**

 **91: No Laughing Matter: She got annoyed by Luan's constant pranks, but then again, wouldn't you if you had to deal with Luan for about a decade? Still, all of the siblings tried to cheer her up after she quit comedy (which happened because she overheard them venting their frustrations, they felt horrible when the found out she was listening. :( This episode is eschewed.**

 **92: No Spoilers: She, along with Lola were tasked with making food for Rita's surprise party. In Lynn's case, she made a submarine sandwich with chiles and Montezuma hot sauce atop it. When she tasted it, she BREATHED FIRE from how spicy it was and STILL said it wasn't spicy enough! Lincoln calls her out on this, but Lynn got offended and would have beaten up Lincoln had Lori not broken up their fight.**

 **93: Legends: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode. On another note, oh my god, Legends of the Hidden Temple! I loved that game show!**

 **94: Mall Of Duty: Lynn does appear, but she had rugby practice, so she didn't have time to torment her siblings. This episode is eschewed.**

 **95: Read Aloud: She, along with the rest of the family, tore into Lincoln for making them lose the reading contest. It's only until Lola intervened that they eased up on their harshness (Although, pizza was involved, so can you blame them?). This is a jerk moment for the entire family. Though 2 things bother me. One, the pizza was from A Chuck E Cheese rip-off, would it have really been that good? And also, why did Lola ruin some of the pizza's she made by putting pineapple on it (I know some people like it, but still...).**

 **96: Not A Loud: Lynn herself doesn't appear, but a picture of her was pasted on her baby book.**

 **97: Tricked!: Lynn helps the family get back at those 2 thugs that ruined Halloween for them. Coincidentally, the thugs are those 2 guys from the Hazeltucky Hockers football team in the episode "The Loudest Yard". This episode also revealed that the thugs' names are Hank and Hawk. But back to Lynn, this episode is eschewed.**

 **98: The Crying Dame: She, alongside the rest of her family, can't stand that annoying singing Foxy lookalike doll (Its name in the episode is Fenton the Feel-Better Fox, but come on, it looks like Foxy from FNAF) and conspires with them to get rid of it. Like her family, she also realizes this is horrible because Lily is mesmerized by the thing. So, this episode is eschewed.**

 **99: Anti-Social: Again, Lynn works with her siblings for an ulterior motive. But this time it's to stop Lynn Sr from cutting their internet (a fate worse than death). Unfortunately for the Loud family, this backfires horribly as Lynn Sr is now as addicted to the internet as the rest of his family. He even became one of those annoying people on Instagram that takes a picture of their food before eating it (his case is worse, he threw out a perfectly good pizza because he didn't get a photogenic picture). Worse still, he actually wanted to do stuff with them at the start of the episode. At the end of the episode, they break his addiction and they all hang out as a family. This episode is eschewed.**

 **100: Snow Way Out: Lynn was going to disperse a noxious, and potentially deadly gas in her and Lucy's room, but this is completely unintentional on her part. This episode is eschewed.**

 **101: Snow Way Down: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **102: Tripped!: Everything bad that happened in the episode all started when Lynn wanted to pass some old farmer who was going painfully slow on the road, which led them to crash into a ditch and kick off a series of events that would make Milo Murphy blush. Later in the episode, Rita insists that they help the farmer, since he had a flat further up the road. Lana seconded her idea and managed to convince the other siblings to help him out. Because this episode invokes Murphy's Law, Lynn Sr trips the emergency brake, which sends Vanzilla careening onto a car carrier, which drives off into the wild blue yonder. After several incidents involving performing a country blues song to raise money at an open mike night at the Mudflap Café, Leni accidently releasing a Sinaloa Cartel member, who looks like El Chapo's right hand man and Rita piloting a crop duster like a badass, they eventually get to the Weeping Willow Resort And Lodge, where they were planning to have their vacation, only to find out that they were 35 minutes late and didn't realize it because Lynn Sr broke his watch when the Louds were trying to reclaim Vanzilla. Just when it looks like the entire trip was all for naught, the farmer arrives and offers to let them stay with him as thanks for them replacing his flat. When Lola questions how he can do that, he reveals to them that he's not some random cherry farmer, he's Jerry Kling, the Cherry King. He is essentially the Jeff Bezos of the cherry industry and is so rich he booked the entire top floor. If Lana didn't convince them to help Jerry out, they wouldn't be able to have a vacation! This episode also proves to me that Lynn Jr and Lana are the antitheses to each other, since both of them are tomboyish, with the difference being that Lynn is an aggravator and Lana is a placator.**

 **103: White Hare: She aids the sisters in interfering with Lincoln's hangout, and we all know what happened the last time the Loud sisters interfered with Lincoln's problems...since the episode even shows a flashback of it. Except it turns out to be a trick, and all of them wanted Lincoln to be himself at his hangout. This episode is eschewed.**

 **104: Insta-Gran: One of the ways Myrtle tries to take care of the Louds is by doing stuff that would "make things worse". Lynn's case is the pettiest, as Myrtle took all of her dirty lucky jersey's to the dry cleaners and washed them, getting every stain out, to which Lynn replies "that's what made them lucky". Myrtle's response is "who needs luck with talent like yours"? Lynn's reaction is mild indignation. She also helps the siblings trying to get the smothering to stop by breaking up Myrtle and Pop Pop. She is the one the Loud siblings conscripted to send the Photoshopped picture to their grandfather. Also, this probably annoyed just me, but Lynn dresses up like a ninja while doing this and she says "hai" when doing something important. "Hai" means "yes" in Japanese. You don't say "yes" while doing something like bursting through a door (not even if you're Captain Falcon).**

 **105: Roadie To Nowhere: Lynn makes a cameo appearance in this episode, and even then, it was to cheer on Luna and Chunk at the music competition. This episode is eschewed.**

 **106: A Fridge Too Far: She fell victim to a blue paint bomb, but she did have it coming, as she tried to devour the chocolate cake that Rita hid under the couch. Presumably, she would have eaten the whole thing by herself, without sparing a morsel to anyone else. That cake was supposed to be used to celebrate if Lynn Sr got an investment from a famous food critic (which he did, by the way).**

 **107: Selfie Improvement: Lynn ruined one of Lori's attempts to take a better selfie by hitting a baseball into her pink lemonade. When Lori chastises her for it, Lynn counter chastises her by saying she ruined her chances to score a double!**

 **108: No Place Like Homeschool: As if waiting for the shower isn't enough torture, some of the siblings have to deal with Lynn practicing sports in the house (after all, what's the point of taking a shower if you're not sweaty and/or dirty?). She also tries to exploit the privileges of homeschooling just like the other siblings, even at the expense of Lola's sleep! Which leads to Lola being punished for helping her siblings! The other siblings feel bad and willingly withdraw from homeschool so that Lola can have a second chance, but wow. And we thought that Lola was the villain. It seems that Lola has gotten her redemption. Now we can only hope that the writers make one for Lynn. Otherwise, she might become the new villain, while Lola becomes an antiheroine.**

 **109: City Slickers: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **110: Fool Me Twice: Lynn freaks out after her stunt double acts like a complete wimp and throws a tetherball match to Zach. She then laments her 300 win streak being broken (although, wasn't it broken when the siblings won "The Settler's of Cat Land" in Lynner Take All? If so, how did she rack up ANOTHER 300 win streak THAT fast?!). That being said, she didn't do anything malicious to her siblings (aside from the final revenge prank on Luan, although everyone conspired to pay her back after her improvised prank plan...) so this episode is eschewed.**

 **111: Net Gains: This episode...this episode is the first one to try and rerail Lynn's character. She GAVE UP WINNING a championship basketball game, completing her FLIBBR (acronym for football, lacrosse, ice hockey, basketball, baseball and roller derby; It signifies which ones she won a championship for. Hopefully Lynn Sr was right about them not resetting each year) to have fun with her team (that Flip forced her to be on. Whether or not Flip knew Lynn was a great player, or just really didn't give a fuck about the game (he was in it to sell F** **lippee's™) but that was actually kind of smart on his plan). Bonus points for Lynn conning Flip to get better players, and then reverse conning him to try and fix her mistake. Her team got creamed 50-12, but at least it wasn't a total shutout. Pep and that other announcer from "No Such Luck" return in this episode. Thankfully, this seems to be an inverse to "No Such Luck". Maybe Lynn will start getting her own redemption arc, just like Lola did in season 2. But... one good episode isn't enough to make up for sixty-six bad ones...yeah, this episode is eschewed.**

 **112: Pipe Dreams: Well, considering Lynn saved her parents' lives in this episode, it's safe to say that this episode's eschewed. On an unrelated note, Lynn's disgusted face, to me at least, is Nickelodeon's attempt to one-up the Yellow Diamond angry face meme from Steven Universe. Still not as good as the original.**

 **113: Fandom Pains: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **114: Rita Her Rights: Lynn is just like all the other siblings in this episode. This episode is eschewed. On another note, does anyone find it disturbing that Rita is willing to resort to a reverse variant of Munchausen syndrome with her crime spree just to get away from her crazy family?**

 **115: Teachers' Union: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **116: Head Poets Anxiety: When trying to help Lucy develop a thick skin, Lola complisults her by saying that she's been more moved by Lynn's farts than Lucy's poetry. It was supposed to be a double insult, but Lynn takes it as a compliment. What we're really here for is that when Lucy finds out about Luan's dream through Lincoln, she fakes being ill to not upstage her. When Luan goes to Lynn and Lucy's room to verify this, she fake coughs, to which Lynn replies, that was weak. Even though this is clearly shown to be fake, it brings up some disturbing implications in the future. What if someone had a dormant pathological disease and started showing emerging symptoms? Would Lynn say that that's weak, too?**

 **117: The Mad Scientist: Admittedly, this episode is on the weaker side of the sociopath spectrum, as Lynn is just being her obnoxious self, but she at the very least the greatest nuisance to Lisa's work. While all of them annoy and interrupt her, they are a microcosm compared to her. Unfortunately for her, when all of them band together to do their decibel destroying activities, Lisa can't focus on her groundbreakingly revolutionary research!**

 **118: Missed Connection: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **119: Deal Me Out: Lynn only appears in flashbacks, but she's unintentionally the reason Lincoln and Clyde met each other. Lincoln had to chase down a rebellious 7 year old Lynn and ran into Clyde because Lynn parkoured over him and as we saw in Ties That Bind, Lincoln can't parkour. She also ran over Lincoln's action figure by rollerblading on it, but we're not sure if it was because she's malicious or just not paying attention. This one is up to your interpretation.**

 **120: Friendzy: When Lincoln abuses his friend card privileges, Lynn is the first victim of this. She and Margo were watching a baseball game when Lincoln and Clyde wanted to watch ARGGH!. Lynn actually would let him watch his show once they were done with the show, after 6 more innings. Granted, the show would probably be over by then, but its the thought that counts, right? This isn't good enough for Lincoln, who wants to watch the show now, so he overrides her privilege by using an ace up his sleeve (he brought Liam along), another friend! Since he figures that his 2 outnumbers her 1, he gets more privilege points. Thus forcing Lynn to adapt to his strategy. She tells Luna and the Louds bring more and more friends over to get more and more of those sweet privilege points. This episode is eschewed. #LynnDidNothingWrong.**

 **121: Pasture Bedtime: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **122: Shop Girl: Lynn teaches Leni how to get the stuff she wants by football tackling the rabid Black Friday-esque shoppers out of her way. The Louds just don't want her to get taken advantage off, but Leni is just too much of an adorable cinnamon roll for the assertiveness lessons to stick. She even says that she's happy making other people happy. This episode is eschewed.**

 **123: Gown And Out: Lynn gives a few annoyed glares and a snide remark to Lincoln about being a stage brother to Lola. Lincoln takes it in stride though, as he counters by referencing the events that happened in Toads And Tiaras, not to mention him being a stage brother is a natural defense to Lola. Although, it seems like Lincoln forgot his lesson in Toads And Tiaras and is turning into Gil DeLily, even though Lincoln is doing it because he wants Lola to succeed and not out of any malice or ulterior motives.**

 **124: Breaking Dad: Lynn does appear, albeit esoterically within a cartoon fight dust cloud with the other siblings. Since this is just sibling rivalry, this episode is eschewed.**

 **125: Ruthless People: Thanks to a termite infestation, the Louds are forced to relocate temporarily while their house is being fumigated (even though it won't do anything since Lana wants to rescue the admittedly cute termites). Half of the Louds will stay at Pop-Pop's while the other half will stay at aunt Ruth's. Since aunt Ruth's is a hell on earth to them. Lincoln, Luna, Lori, Lynn Jr, Lola and Lynn Sr beg the other members to trade spots for favors. It doesn't seem like Pop-Pop's was as great as they thought, so they call Leni to find out how miserable they are and she reveals to them that aunt Ruth bought a lake house as part of a timeshare. So, they decide to swap back, on the condition of even more favors. Only to find out the house was eaten by the termites Lana saved. So they're forced back into hell, I mean, aunt Ruth's house. Upon calling Leni again, they find out that Sunset Canyon rented out a cruise ship to cool off the seniors, since they couldn't fix the broken air conditioner.**

 **126: What Wood Lincoln Do?: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **127: Scales Of Justice: Lynn does appear in this episode, but only as a cameo appearance. This episode is eschewed.  
**

 **128: Crimes Of Fashion: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **129: Absent Minded: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **130: Be Stella My Heart: Lynn does appear in this episode, but only as a cameo appearance. This episode is eschewed.**

 **131: Sitting Bull: Lynn's ulterior motive to get some babysitting money cost the entire Loud family 4 clients! In retaliation, the older siblings give her a seemingly impossible task. Babysitting the demon spawn known as the Fox quintuplets! They eventually fell bad for her and try to rescue her from being torn to shreds by them, only to find out she managed to keep them under control using her 3 step plan of asserting dominance, tiring them out and using a reward system. The older siblings apologize for giving her a hard time and Lynn apologizes for stealing their clients. She even begs and pleads with them to give her sisters another chance! It would have been a perfect candidate for eschewment...if she didn't attack Lincoln without any hint of remorse throughout the episode.**

 **132: The Spies Who Loved Me: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **133: Really Loud Music: Her hallucinogenic song was just her bragging about how awesome she is. She also ended the song by using Edwin to perform a touchdown, breaking his nose. This gets her into a scrap with Lucy. But she and Lana did get to fire Kyle Marshall's effect cannons to stop the slimeball music producers from unplugging Luna's performance (they couldn't have just killed the broadcast?). I guess the two things counterbalance each other out. This episode is eschewed.**

 **134: House Of Lies: She joins up with the other siblings to stop Lisa turning their home into an Orwellian truth telling haven. This isn't 1984, it's 2018 and Little Sister is watching you. This episode is eschewed.**

 **135: Game Boys: She farts under the dinner table when Clyde is under there, but she doesn't even know he's in their house in the first place! This episode is eschewed.**

 **136: Everybody Loves Leni: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **137: Middle Men: Lynn inadvertently ruins Lincoln and Clyde** **'s middle school tour by giving them the advice that middle school is hell and to always expect the worst in people. They follow her advice and everyone sees them as huge jerks, which Clyde agrees with. She then reveals that she had a raw deal on her first day at middle school and her tough act is a defense mechanism so that no one would mess with her again. Sadly for her, Lincoln and Clyde had a way better experience than she did. Thankfully, she realized at the end of the episode that she was worrying about them for nothing. Since she was trying to help them, this episode is eschewed.**

 **138: Jeers For Fears: She helped the other sisters try to desensitize Lincoln and Clyde so that they can survive the House of Terror and win the scare dare that they made with Chandler. This episode is eschewed.**

 **139: Tea Tale Heart: She called dibs on, and most likely ate Lucy's breakfast while she was away at a poetry convention.**

 **140: The Loudest Thanksgiving: Lynn wastes a can of chicken stock testing out her parachute pants (which she plans to use to store biohazardous excretions (she didn't want to possibly miss the Thanksgiving aftergame by going to the bathroom (gross))). The worst part is that the "Feast Force" "hired" by Lynn Sr (it was just Lola and Lana in their hall monitor uniforms) stopped Lori from sampling his mashed potatoes but didn't stop Lynn from wasting the stock. He even pointed this discrepancy in the episode. Obviously, she is on team Loud (the reason this is is because the Louds and Casagrandes are vying for where Lori and Bobby are spending Thanksgiving this year). In the end, the feuding families make up and have agreed for Lori and Bobby to rotate where they'll be staying for all future Thanksgivings (even though their feuding caused Lori and Bobby to have to spend the holiday at Flip's Food and Fuel). On another note, it's hilarious that the entire special was a thinly veiled advertisement for Flip's Food and Fuel.**

 **141: Predict Ability: She made a joke about stealing Lincoln's breakfast burrito. While she is a jerk in this episode, it's not enough to count. This episode is eschewed**

 **142: Driving Ambition: Recommended that talcum powder trick to Lori to help her golf better. This episode is eschewed.**

 **143: Home Of The Fave: Lynn is only mildly indignant in this episode, and the event is totally unrelated to the Louds. This episode is eschewed.**

 **144: Hero Today, Gone Tomorrow: The first Lynn centered episode in the Rubiner Era, it shows her as a narcissist, being the reason their team wins all the time; So when Margo perform a clutch play, she becomes jealous and almost destroys their friendship! She does realize it by the end of the episode and they made up. I also like the gag where the Double Belcher kept being renamed after each game. This episode is eschewed, but only barely. Compared to the Savino and Melded (Savino/Marshall) Eras, I think the Rubiner Era has stabilized the radical elements of the show. Yep, I think this will be a brand new beginning for everyone!**

 **145: The Write Stuff: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.**

 **146: Racing Hearts: Lynn was apparently banned from the Astonishing Quest last year for her hyper competitiveness.**

 **147: Stage Plight: It's very hard to spot her, but she does appear for a split second during the ending scene of the episode. Also, Mr. Coconuts can move and speak autonomously, so he should be reclassified as a Euclid class SCP (even if it is a joke SCP). Speaking of tangents, Mrs. Appleblossom is way scarier than Mr. Coconuts ever was!**

 **148: Antiqued Off: Lynn makes a cameo appearance in this episode, yelling at Lincoln to stop hogging the bathroom. This episode is eschewed.**

 **149: Cooked!: This episode shows only typical sibling rivalry. Because of that, this episode is eschewed. On an unrelated note, the best promotions would have been Lincoln and Lucy's. A mass communication array would have the highest potential to attract customers, since it has a broad scope. I wonder how the episode would have played out had they've teamed up...**

 **150: Friended!: It's very fast and is only shown for about 2 frames in the entire episode, but Lynn (as well as the rest of the Loud sisters) made a cameo appearance in the episode. On another note, the pilot episode for _Los Casagrandes_ looks great!**

 **Of the currently released episodes, Lynn only appears in 122 of them, being absent from the episodes "Get The Message", "Toads And Tiaras", "Save The Date", "The Waiting Game", "A Fair To Remember", "The Old And The Restless", "Baby Steps", "Making The Grade", Patching Things Up", "Frog Wild", "Shell Shock", "The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos", "Out Of The Picture", "Back Out There", "ARGGH! You For Real?", "Not A Loud", "Legends", "Snow Way Down", "City Slickers", "Fandom Pains", "Teachers' Union", "Missed Connection", "Pasture Bedtime", "What Wood Lincoln Do?", "Crimes Of Fashion", "Absent Minded", "The Spies Who Loved Me" and "Everybody Loves Leni". Of those 122, we pare out eschewed episodes, as Lynn was nice in those ones. Factoring out the eschewed episodes, we have 79 episodes left. Getting rid of the episode "Butterfly Effect", because it was all just a dream, knocks it down to 78. Thus, the final score of Lynn's sociopathic behavior is:**

 **78/150 (includes Ties That Bind, Pulp Friction, Change Of Heart and Deal Me Out)**

 **74/150 (does not include Ties That Bind, Pulp Friction, Change Of Heart and Deal Me Out)**

 **So, in conclusion she has sociopathic tendencies 52% of the time if the debatable episodes ARE included. But if they are NOT included it becomes 49.3% of the time. She is good only 48% of the time! It seems that the writers recognize Lynn's behavior and are trying to rectify it, as the Rubiner Era has her obnoxiousness severely toned down! Now that the canonical diagnosis is over, let's get to the actual author's note for chapter 38.**

 **Unfortunately, due to the author's death, the list will be forever incomplete...**

* * *

 **Ok, so when Detroit went bankrupt a few years ago, the city had to transport their criminals elsewhere. Some of them ended up in this very prison. And yes, vile criminals who've committed horrendous crimes are incarcerated here. But enough about them, we're here for Lynn. Lynn's prideful façade is breaking apart! She's showing genuine emotions to Lily, Luan and Lori. When Lynn is talking about fixing Lincoln's AC system, she actually means that Lisa should rig his air conditioning with hydrogen cyanide (codenamed AC)! Once he dies from it, she's to blow the dangerous nerve agent out the window so it will diffuse. Lisa won't go through with it because that might kill more than just Lincoln. The 16 queens are in the shape of a rook, ironically, showing that she's too prideful to admit her mistake. Also, the fact that Lincoln can't do anything to break through is a reference to Quercus Alba, the final enemy in Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth. The fact that it states that Lynn answers with the confidence of a decorated war general cements the reference.**

 **The SB-129 suicide blocker can't detect a certain form of suicide, which is suicide by cop. The robot thinks that because someone else killed you, it counts as a homicide and not a suicide. The "KR" marks are a nod to Undertale. Karmic Retribution is a poison-like effect that damages you over time. Lana really didn't want do to that, but Lynn pushed her too far by trying to kill Lincoln...**

 **Originally, there was a Lynn vignette that was supposed to happen after this, but it was cut out because there wasn't enough substance. It would have detailed Lynn's prison life. The important part is that Lynn realizes she was a horrible person and she deserves to rot in prison forever. However, it makes her strive to be a better person. She even became a model prisoner in about 26 years! A wealthy benefactor even gives her money for the commissary. She even got to remodel her solitary confinement cell to a luxury prison cell a la Kristoph Gavin from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney! She chose a sports theme, of course. She even managed to get signed memorabilia in it, but no baseball bats, of course. Lynn eagerly awaits for the day when she can show her sisters how much she's changed, although she realizes that that day may never come. Even though she still hates Lincoln, she admits that she shouldn't have let it overpower her bond with the rest of her family. Maybe one day, they can reconcile...**

 **With that, we are finished with Act 2! Act 3 consists of character vignettes that shows how the Loud siblings are readjusting to their normal lives after Lana's tragedy and Lynn's arrest. We're almost finished...**


	39. Mechanical Mayhem

**Chapter Synopsis: Vanzilla finally dies, so Lana tries to repair it**

* * *

Lana rejoins the rest of her siblings on the return trip back to Royal Woods. The mission was a failure though…all Lincoln wanted was some answers as to why Lynn tried to murder him, but she didn't give any reason. She just called him a waste of life and left it at that. 3 hours and 165 miles later, the Loud family gets back to their house. As soon as they got back, however, Vanzilla broke down, yet again!

"Not to worry." Lynn Sr assures the rest of the family "This happens all the time…"

The inside components of Vanzilla explode and burst into flames. Lori grabs a fire extinguisher, opens the hood of the car and puts out the fire.

"Dang it. Well, looks like we're walking from now on, because Vanzilla died…for real this time…and Lana isn't here to fix it." Lincoln dejectedly says

The rest of the family heads inside the house, while Lana stays behind to survey the damage to the van.

"It looks like that the engine exploded, the carburetor's nitrogen-carbon distribution system is shot, the radiator overheated and…"

Lana takes out a ratted piece of leather. It was one of Lynn Sr's old belts.

"Dad…this isn't a fan belt, this is one of **YOUR** belts. Honestly, the car should have exploded years ago if this was how you fixed Vanzilla's problems. Luckily, it seems that only those 4 parts have to be replaced, the rest of the van can be salvaged! The sparkplugs inside still work after running for almost 2 decades and the fuel injectors are still intact! They just need to be cleaned…"

Lana disconnects the fuel injectors from the main fuel line. She inserts an acidic pressurized solvent into the injectors and starts the engine (Lynn Sr forgot to take the key out of the car). It took longer because of the barely functioning engine, but it got the job done…somehow. The injectors are clean!

"Ok, now to take out the damaged parts…"

Lana disconnects the engine, carburetor, radiator and "fan belt" and sets them aside. Maybe Lynn Sr could sell it for scrap metal… eventually. That all it's good for now... as for the belt, he'll just throw that in the trash.

* * *

"We always knew this day would come…it's time to use the secret stash!"

Lana looks around and finds a jar filled to the brim with money. On the jar is a sticky note that reads: In case of Vanzilla, break jar seal. This was an emergency money jar the Loud siblings came up with when the inevitability of Vanzilla finally dying came to pass. Tomorrow… is that day. It has about a decade of loose change in it. Lana takes it and painstakingly counts the money…there is $1500 dollars in it…not much…but hopefully it's enough! Lana gets ready for the big day ahead.

The next day, Lana heads down to the salvage yard. Lynn Sr knows a guy there that gives him the parts to fix Vanzilla temporarily. Lana knows this because she tags along with her dad on some of these trips. Usually, once Lynn Sr gets the parts, he tries to insists on fixing Vanzilla himself, but because he doesn't know ANYTHING about mechanical work, it fails most of the time.

Lana finds everything she's looking for and heads to the counter to pay for the items. You can guess how well this plays out…

"What the heck? Whose items are these?" The cashier asks

"Mine"

"Who said that?"

"Look, you can't see me, just give me the items and I'll pay you."

"Am I going schizophrenic?"

"No"

"O… Ok… j…just l…leave m...me alone." The cashier pleads with a quavering voice

"Jeez, I'm not going to hurt you, I just want the stuff and to leave."

"Alright, here's the receipt, now how do you intend to pay for it, mysterious voice?"

"With this." Lana shows him the jar of money "There's $1500 dollars in there, so **THIS** should cover it.

* * *

Lana hands him the exact amount listed on the receipt and leaves. Lana carries the automotive components solely with mental power alone! Though she does struggle to manipulate all 4 of the items (5, if you include the money jar). 4 hours later, she arrives back at the Loud house. She sets the items outside, phases through the garage door, picks up the garage door opener, presses the button to open the garage door and moves the items inside. Lana begins installing the components into Vanzilla. While she's working however, Luna enters the garage. She's there to practice more tracks for her music debut! It'll happen! Eventually…

Luna notices the tools flying all around, working on fixing the car. They stop, apparently reacting to Luna's presence. Luna speaks.

"Lans, is that you?" Luna inquires

"Yes"

"Rad! What are you doing?"

"Fixing the van, you?"

"Composing some rockin' beats! Say, do you need help?" Luna offers

"…Sure, I've already inserted the new parts in, we just need to tighten some nuts and bolts to anchor them in place and pour a fresh coat of paint on it. Well, let's do it!" Lana asserts to her, Luna nods in agreement

Both of them anchor the parts in place. Lana and Luna paint the van white with turquoise highlights with the leftover paint from that time they tried to paint the house as an anniversary gift for their parents. The car is fixed!

"Hey, now that the car is fixed, can you get Lori down here? I want her to test drive the van and make sure it works." Lana asks

"Sure." Luna leaves; A few minutes later, she comes back with Lori "Here she is, sis."

"Ok, now just drive around and tell me how it runs." Lana states to Lori

Lori gets in Vanzilla and drives around for a few minutes. She comes back and gives her report to Lana.

"It runs like a dream! This time, the car didn't buckle, break down or malfunction at all. In fact, this was the best time I've ever had driving that thing!" Lori avows to Lana

"Great, I'll just leave this note here and…done." Lana avers "Now, let's surprise dad with this. He'll be so overjoyed that Vanzilla will run perfectly from now on! Oh, and tell him to sell the old parts for scrap, they're taking up room in the garage." Lana exclaims

* * *

Lori called a sibling meeting to tell everyone the good news. 15 minutes later, the kids arrive with Lynn Sr to the garage…his eyes are closed.

"Ok, open your eyes, daddy." Lola speaks pleasantly to him

Lynn Sr opens his eyes and gasps in awe as he sees Vanzilla returned to its former glory. He reads the note that Lana left on the workbench. He reads it aloud.

"Thanks for always being there for us. This is a token of our appreciation. From, the Loud siblings."

Tears start to well up in Lynn Sr's eyes…

"Aw, kids…you shouldn't have. I…I don't deserve this. Thank you! But…how did you even manage to repair it? None of us are mechanics." Lynn Sr utters in sheer elation

"Well, miracles can happen." Lincoln responds

"Yes, and you 11 children are the best that ever happened to me…" Lynn Sr replies back

"Aww!" The siblings gush as they all rush and hug their father

"Even better." Lana declares with finality and a sigh of happiness

* * *

 **Author's Note: Here's the receipt for the car parts.**

 **Engine: $224 dollars  
** **Carburetor: $98 dollars  
** **Radiator: $45 dollars  
** **Fan Belt: $76 dollars**

 **Altogether, it cost only $443 dollars. Luckily, the Louds don't have to pay for labor costs, since Lana is still an expert mechanic! As for the leftover money? It's still in its hiding spot in case anymore repairs on Vanzilla need to be made.**

 **Now that Lana has fixed Vanzilla, it won't break down for a long time! Lynn Sr can finally drive the van again instead of having to use his kids push the thing all across Royal Woods!**


	40. Terror Cell

**Chapter Synopsis: Lori calls Bobby to finally tell him what's going on**

* * *

"Bobby Boo Boo Bear?"

"Babe? It's been 149,760 minutes since you last called! Did something happen?"

"Yes…I didn't want to burden you with this information because it might damage our relationship, but… I've finished coping with it. Bobby… One of my sisters died on April 26…"

"Wait…which sister was it?"

"Lana"

"Boo Boo Bear? How did you know?"

"I caught a glimpse of the news report on it after I finished my pizzeria job. I visited her grave, you know. I wanted to be there for you, but my bosses said because I'm not a member of your family, I can't take a bereavement leave…I'm sorry, Babe."

"What did you do while visiting her?"

"I paid my respects. Even though I don't know her as well as I know you or Lincoln, she still helped shaped the people you are today, and for that, she has my gratitude, don't you feel the same way too, Babe?"

"Of course, Boo Boo Bear. You know, I really wasn't the best sister… I berated and bullied my younger siblings because I have seniority. I kicked Lincoln out of my room because he was invading my privacy, even though he meandered into my room playing a VR game, I also forced him into the double date at Jean Juan's… your motto made me realize, I haven't been as caring as I should have been towards them."

"Did you realize your mistake?"

"Yes, but only after the March 13 incident…"

"March 13? What happened on that day?"

"March 13, Lincoln tells the 4th wall (literally, the 4th wall in his room, but he's aware that we (the viewers) watch them in some capacity by using the 4th walls) that the incident is known episodically as "No Such Luck". On that day, Lynn forced Lincoln to go to her baseball qualifier match, it was the Royal Woods Squirrels vs the Daisy Hill Daisies (real creative name, I know). They lost 4-3. Lincoln just wanted to cheer her up and console her over her loss, but Lynn blamed him for her loss and called him bad luck, Lynn and losing don't exactly mesh together well."

"Ok, but Babe, how does this have to do with what happened?"

"Lincoln wanted some alone time, because he has to support 10 sisters. But we support 10 siblings, too, so it shouldn't be a problem. Anyway, Lincoln spread a little white lie to get out of going to our stuff, he even broke my golf clubs!"

"Is that why you were all bent out of shape at the varsity golf tournament? I would have figured you'd be angry since Carol won, and you took 2nd place."

"We settled our differences, she even said that if my irons weren't bent, I would've won."

"Babe, what happened next?"

"The lie spiraled so out of control that we kicked Lincoln out of the house!"

"Wait…but that's illegal! Your parents could have been incarcerated for kicking out a minor!"

"They realized eventually…anyway, Lincoln decided to disguise himself as the mascot to prove to Lynn he wasn't bad luck, because Lynn is still convinced, because she won a doubleheader and advanced her team to the playoffs! Boo Boo Bear, you were with me watching the semifinal match between the Squirrels and the Hazeltucky Lions. Lynn hit a back from the brink, bases loaded grand slam in the bottom of the 9th, on 2 outs, 2 strikes, while they were down by 3 runs! Lynn did a victory lap and we congratulated her for the win. When the mascot revealed himself to be Lincoln this entire time, Lynn apologized and told him he was good luck…only when wearing that dumb costume."

"Oh, so where does Lana come into play?"

"Well, Bobby Boo Boo Bear, it was a few hours before our anniversary date at Giovanni Chang's Italian-Mandarin Bistro. Our dad promised he'd take us to the beach because his work presentation went so well, I wanted to invite you, but he said it was family members only."

"Oh…"

"On the return trip, Lincoln called us out for treating him like garbage 3 days prior and made a thinly veiled suicide joke to mock himself, just to highlight how much we don't give a damn about him. Lola made a snide comment to chide him, as Lola does, but we all got offended at her. Once we got back, Lincoln went to Clyde's and that's how they found out about your "plan".

"Lana must have been moved to help Lincoln after that…"

"Yes, she did. That's why she tried to help Lincoln, she even labeled me as a dangerous sibling!"

"Babe, if what you said earlier was true, I don't blame them."

"I don't blame them either, Boo Boo Bear. But I messed up, I thought Lincoln hacked the security system on mine and Leni's bedroom, so I derided him, I called him a mistake."

"How could you do that?!"

"I was angry! Lana had the same reaction you did! Leni told me that Lana found out the password to our room and that she just wanted to talk to her… she called me out in front of our family and caused my father to ground me for a week, suspend my driving privileges and he even deleted you from my contacts! Not to worry, I re-added you!"

"Wow, Babe… I think you have some anger issues to work out."

"Lana made me realize… I have been terrible to my brother. So, from that moment onward, I vowed to help him."

"That's great, Babe!"

"But, not everyone wanted to help Lincoln… Our parents, Lynn and Lola were still holding out. On April 26, Lana convinced us that the superstition Lynn placed on Lincoln since March 13 was a lie. She just wanted to help us help ourselves, she died helping someone who really doesn't deserve it."

"What do you mean, Babe?"

"Did you watch the trial on TV, Boo Boo Bear?"

"Yeah, it was all over the news, the first attempted first-degree murder charge in Royal Woods in quite some time. Lynn was the defendant in that case, right?"

"Did you remember what prosecutor Savino said on the 2nd day of the trial? He diagnosed Lynn as being a sociopath… and he's right, she always beats up people who gets in her way, and this goes beyond "roughhousing" or "sibling rivalry". She always hated Lincoln from the start. I may have said Lincoln was a mistake in an anger fueled moment of weakness, but Lynn believes he **IS** a mistake, she believes he's a blight on our family. She tried to scare Lana away from helping him by luring her into a firecracker trap, it failed."

"Dios mio…"

"Lana didn't die from the firecracker blast though. She said goodbye to all of us and died from heart failure. Even though you can't control your heart stopping, I believe that she realized she wouldn't be able to be with us anymore and peacefully accepted her death."

"Es… Es muy triste… pero, es muy conmovedora también."

"You watched the final day of the trial too, right?"

"Yeah"

"Then you know Lynn paid for her crime, she's in solitary confinement forever, she won't be able to hurt us ever again…"

"That's good, Babe… but what about Lola and your parents? Don't they still believe that Lincoln is bad luck?"

"After Lana's death, our parents offered their full support for Lincoln. As for Lola, she is finishing what Lana started. Everyone is on Lincoln's side now."

"But Lincoln was beat into a coma. It was brought up in the trial. How's he doing, Babe?"

"He made a full recovery. Lynn shattered his carpals and metacarpals in the attack, so he had to go to physical therapy to regain his hand strength. It took 33 days, but Lincoln's hands are fully dexterous again."

"I visited Lincoln when he was still comatose…"

"Boo Boo Bear, how did you find out?"

"Our mother works as a nurse in that hospital. She came home one night looking flustered. She told us that one of the patients she helped the doctor operate on was someone we'd recognize. I guessed it was Lincoln…and I was right."

"Bobby…you must really care about me if you care enough to visit my siblings…"

"Course I do, Babe. This sequence of events didn't strain our relationship…It made it stronger. I'll be looking forward to the next time we're together. See you…Lori."

"Totes, I literally feel the same way…"

* * *

 **Author's Note: Yes, Lori didn't call Bobby until now. That means the last time she talked to him was on April 26! Also, we get more information on how soul transcendence works. There are "4th walls" that act as a one-way "eye" to peer into the fictional media's world. Sometimes, fictional characters are aware of the existence of the fourth walls and will talk to the viewers by "breaking" it, by talking through it. This ability you can naturally have, like Lincoln and Lola (and by extension, the rest of the Loud family, if 2 of the 13 members already possess it), or it can be taught by someone who knows about the fourth walls, like when Lincoln taught Ronnie Anne in the episode "The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos"!**


	41. Glistening Reminiscence

**Chapter Synopsis: Lola reminisces on how she recruited the last 3 Covalence Network members to join the Inner Circlet**

* * *

"We call this IC meeting to order." An authoritarian voice bellows from within Lori's room "Lisa, what is our first order of business today?"

Lisa takes out a piece of paper "Item 1: yesterday, we showed our patriarchal unit his reassembled automotive transport unit that Luna repaired."

"Great, now what's on the agenda for today, Lis?" Lincoln questions

"Well, nothing of interest has happened today…so I guess it's a short meeting this time…" Lisa responds

"Linky, is there anything you need?"

"No, Lola…I'm fine."

"Ok, meeting adjourned." Lola declares

Everyone leaves Lori's room. While Lola heads back to her room, she reminisces about that day…May 19. When she formed the Inner Circlet to finish Lana's plan for familial harmony. It sure was a pain to recruit the final 3 Covalence members on to her side."

* * *

"Hey, you 3…do you have a minute to talk?" Lola asked

"Oh, it's the σ twin… Covalence members won't associate themselves with mavericks like you." Lisa uttered scornfully

"You have a lot of nerve to talk to us, Lola." Luna states "You were the one to form the Trinity."

"But I just permanently disbanded the TOV, it's gone forever!" Lola exclaimed

"…I'll hear her out."

"What are you saying, Luan?! Don't you know she started this whole debacle in the first place!" Lisa shouted

"No…Lynn did that when she forced Lincoln into that costume. Besides, Lola wouldn't want to hurt Lana…right?" Luan questioned

"Lans wanted us to protect Lincoln…protect him from people like the TOV… Lola was the second in command and one of the most dangerous members, due to being a manipulator." Luna reasoned

"I guess there's no other way to convince you…"

Lola taps her pointer finger to her forehead. The VR chessboard appears in its default blue and white state. Logic chess: Endgame from Gyakuten Kenji 2 plays. Luna has a black rook, Luan has a black bishop and Lisa has a black queen. Yes, Lola is trying to convince 3 different people at the same time!

* * *

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!

"Luan, how did you help Lana as a Covalence member?" Lola questioned

"I was an enforcer. I was to make sure nothing ever hurt Lincoln, or any of the other siblings." Luan replied back

"How did that work out?"

Lola's white pawn charges at Luan's black bishop and hits it! 4 hits left!

"Not so good, it seems that Lana's death is causing everyone to turn on each other…" Luan admitted

"You still want to protect everyone, right?"

Lola's pawn attacks! 3 hits to go!

"Yes"

"You don't have to face this challenge by yourself…I can help you." Lola asserted

"How?"

"I formed an organization to succeed Covalence!"

Lola's pawn attacks! 2 more hits…

"Is it anything like the Trinity of Violence?"

"No"

"Why would I abandon Covalence to join you?"

"Because, like Covalence, this group just wants our family to be together again. isn't that what Lana wanted all along?"

Lola's pawn attacks! Just 1 hit left!

"Your right, Lana just wanted everyone to coexist peacefully…" Luan said pensively

Lola extends her arm out, offering a handshake.

"Then, let us strive for that peace together, for Lana."

Luan…accepts the offer, Lola's pawn shatters Luan's bishop!

"Our family, I'd gladly help them! If they're all joining your group for harmony, then I will, too!" Luan declared firmly

* * *

"Luna, how did you and Lana get along?" Lola asked

"Like 2 peas in a pod, mate." Luna responded

"So, what did Lana have you do for her as a Covalence member?"

"She had me keep the peace. Said the less dysfunction there is between us, the more our bonds will grow."

"Did it work, Luna?"

Lola's pawn attacks Luna's rook, it scores a direct hit! 3 more to go!

"Nah, little dudette, it feels like Lana's death tore the family apart. That's a shame, because she wanted us to be closer with each other."

"But didn't Lana convince 8 of us… no… 10 of us, because Lori and I defected, that Linky wasn't bad luck?"

Lola's knight attacks, 2 hits left!

"Yeah, she did… Lana…was a true friend…to all of us."

"Luna, please… join my group, I want to finish Lana's work!"

Lola's pawn attacks, just 1 hit left!

"…"

"Luna?"

"…"

"…"

"Sure, I'll join you, you just want to help Lana…and…I want to help her, too." Luna affirmed

Lola's pawn shatters Luna's rook!

* * *

"Lisa, join my group!" Lola commanded

"No"

-25% of Truth Timer, 41% remaining

Lola waits patiently…

"No, I'm not falling for it." Lisa explained

Lola waits patiently…

"You're just wasting both of our time."

"How did Lana recruit you? You don't seem to be the type of person who's easily convinced." Lola postulated

"I taught her everything she knows. This Logic Chess simulation, I taught her that."

"That doesn't answer my question, how did Lana recruit you into Covalence?"

Lola's pawn rushes Lisa's queen, 5 hits remaining!

"She didn't. I joined voluntarily."

"Covalence is about fixing our family; Do you honestly want that?"

"Are you an idiot? Of course!"

("She's hiding something… I need to press further!")

"Do you love all of your siblings?"

"Yes, they're valuable test subjects for my experiments!"

"Is that all we are to you?!" Lola derided

Lola's queen attacks! 4 hits left!

"…No, you guys are my family…" Lisa sadly backpedaled

"Lana loves every living thing; How would she react to that statement?"

"Lividly…she always scorns me for unethical testing."

"Look, do you even care about what happens to Lincoln?!"

Lola's pawn attacks! 3 hits to go!

"No. I told Lana that and I'm telling you that. Lincoln is a virus to this family and I'm the viricide! I would want him to be either exiled or executed, I really don't care. Our family will be much better off without him." Lisa bragged to Lola

"We all care about him, why don't you?!"

"Because fuck Lincoln, that's why! I hate him and wished he was never born!"

"Maybe you should have joined the Trinity! Your more malevolent than me or Lori ever could be! If you and Lynn teamed up, you could have killed Lincoln faster, isn't that right?!"

Lola's knight attacks! Just 2 hits left!

"Yes"

"What about all the times Lincoln cared about you? Was it all a façade?!"

Lola's queen attacks! Just 1 more hit left to go!

"…"

"You know what, I'm done! You don't deserve to be in my organization. You're just a parasite that enjoys the suffering of others. Lincoln would be much better off without you or Lynn. Now if you'll excuse us, those of us who can trust each other will help repair our family!" Lola said with finality

Lola's queen attacks! Lisa's queen shatters!

"Fine, I'll join your group! I want help our family too!" Lisa begged

"Ha! You fell for my reverse psychology gambit! But, I accept your request. I just hope you'll use that intelligence for good."

"…You really are like her, aren't you?"

* * *

Lola also remembers that Leni inserted something special into each of the bangles and circlets. Gemstones…all in a different shape:

Lily's is a pearl in a henagonal/monogonal cut, otherwise known as a spherical cut.

Lisa's is an emerald in a digonal cut, the shape of it roughly looks like an eye. The Loud siblings colloquially refer to the digonal gem, and by extension, Lisa, as the "Emerald Eye".

Lola's circlet has a pink tourmaline in an equilateral trigonal cut, signifying that all of the Loud siblings see each other as equals! Trigonal cuts are also referred to as trilliant cuts.

Lana's honorary bracelet has a sapphire in a tetragonal rhombus cut, signifying the strong bond she and Lincoln have. She sees him as her diamond, as well as the diamond of the Loud house. An overachiever, she wants to be more like him.

Lucy's is the bloodstone (obviously) in a pentagonal cut.

Lincoln's circlet has a topaz embedded in the center in a hexagonal cut.

Lynn's was a ruby in a heptagonal cut. Lynn would have been the last one to be recruited into the Inner Circlet, but then Lynn tried to murder Lincoln in the early morning hours of May 20. Lola decided not to recruit her because of this, and now, she won't ever join, now that she's serving a life sentence for said attempted first degree murder.

Luan's is a yellow citrine in an octagonal cut.

Luna's is an amethyst in a nonagonal cut. This gem has 8 cuts to it…where have we heard that before?

Leni's is a turquoise in a decagonal cut.

Lori's is an aquamarine in a hendecagonal/undecagonal/endecagonal cut.

Back in the present day, Lola wonders what the future will bring now? Everyone is on Lincoln's side, there's way less fighting ever since Covalence and the Inner Circlet were formed, the Trinity of Violence is permanently disbanded, and Lynn, the biggest producer of the family's dysfunction is locked up in solitary, far away from the Loud house! All that's left is for the Louds to resume their daily lives.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Wow! 20,000 views?! Impressive! I didn't think this story would ever be this popular!**


	42. Great Revival: Lola Loud

**Chapter Synopsis: Lola makes her grand return to the pageant scene**

* * *

It has been approximately 5 months since Lynn Sr punished the Trinity members for their involvement in spreading dysfunction within the Loud house. While Lola's punishment has been lifted since late May, she hasn't opted to enter any pageants. First, it was losing her twin in late April; Second, the attempted murder on Lincoln on May 20; Third, Lincoln being comatose because of said murder attempt for 42 days; And finally, Lincoln's mostly manual dexterity reconditioning, which took 33 days. It is now September 6, 2017.

Lincoln enters Lola's room. He has some concerns regarding his confident, albeit sometimes bratty, sister.

"Lola, can I come in?" Lincoln queries

"Why do you need to ask? You and I are keeping this house together, with everyone else helping." Lola responds

Lincoln takes that as a "yes" and enters. He approaches Lola and kneels down in front of her to talk.

"Lola…"

"What, Linky?"

"Why are you being…so nice to me?"

Lola is startled by Lincoln's words. Isn't "being nice" what siblings are supposed to do to each other? Lola acknowledges that she and Lincoln weren't on the best of terms most of the time. But she thought she had buried the hatchet with him when he swapped out her cringingly horrible polaroid that Coach Pacowski took with an adorably endearing picture that Lily somehow took.

Lincoln notices Lola's startled expression and elaborates further.

"You usually have some enmity toward me. Why the sudden change? Is it because of what happened to Lana?"

"No…it's because of what she's done for you. She sacrificed everything to make you happy, even her life. While I have made both you, and our sibling's lives miserable. I want to change…for you, and for everyone." Lola replies back

"Stop trying to be Lana, you aren't her. I miss her too, but I don't want a replacement Lana. You are Lola Loud, the 6-year-old pageant queen who dominates the pageant scene! You love everything prissy and girly, but you aren't afraid to give anyone who gets in your way a serious beatdown! You're a bit narcissistic and egotistical, but you care about our family, and that's all that matters to me!" Lincoln decried passionately, hoping to get Lola to see who she really is

"You're right, Lincoln! It's time for Lola Loud to make a comeback and win her 50th pageant for real!" Lola asserts confidently

"I had a feeling you'd say that, so I researched pageants for you to enter, and here's one I think you can do well in." Lincoln elucidated "The "Terrific Talents" pageant, it's a pageant and a talent show combined into one!" Lincoln stated "Lola, what are you good at?"

"Manipulation, blackmail, extortion, persuasion…" Lola starts to list off

"I mean some legal talents like juggling, or something." Lincoln rebukes in a playful manner

"I don't know, then…"

* * *

Lola leaves and begins to head downstairs when Lisa stops her. Lisa explains a theorem she has about Lola and tries to test her hypothesis by having Lola eat some of Lynn Sr's liverwurst, shrimp and hot mayo casserole that no one else touched. Lola ate it, then promptly rushed to the bathroom and vomited. Considering that pure vomit would taste **BETTER** than this casserole, it's no surprise this happened, especially when Lynn Sr himself says that eating it is a one-way trip to the sink or toilet.

"Hypothesis proven, must remember to tell others later." Lisa records on a cassette tape recorder

Lola eats a piece of pie to override the taste of vomit in her mouth and suddenly realizes…this could be her talent!

Lola heads over to Lincoln and tells him that she's discovered a talent and to sign her up for the pageant. He does so and tells everyone the good news.

"Hey, you guys, Lola's entered a pageant again!" Lincoln cries out "We're all coming out to support her, right?"

"Right!" they all retort exuberantly in unison

It seems that Lincoln has learned his lesson about dodging family events since "No Such Luck". Now, not only is he going to Lola's event, when before, he would do anything to evade her (considering what happens when you make Lola Loud mad, he does have some justification for doing so), he's advocating for Lola by convincing the rest of the family to support her!

Lola gets gussied up for her grand return to the pageant scene and the Loud family heads off to the pageant building. (Yes, Royal Woods has only one pageant building, so this is the same building that had the Lil' Miss Prim and Perfect and the Beauty and Brains pageants (it's a small town, ok)).

"Good luck, Lola." Lincoln said

"I don't need luck, I've got skill." Lola shoots back confidently

* * *

Lola enters the building, all the other contestants gasp in fearful awe. How could they not? Lola Loud is pageant royalty there, after all. They aren't worthy to bask in Lola's radiance, but she graces them with her presence anyway. The pageant contestants start murmuring about how Lola has made her grand return. Unfortunately, for everyone, it attracts some unwanted attention.

"So, the pageant queen returns?" A red eyed demon approaches the crowd

"Sweetwater…" Lola utters

"You have a lot of nerve, wining the Beauty and Brains pageant, then vanishing for half a year! Do you think you're better than us?!" Lindsey scorns

"I would deride you back, but you're not even worth the effort." Lola retorts back

 **"OOH!"** The other contestants said, knowing that a fight might break out between the 2 biggest competitors

"What's your talent, anyway? If it's magic, why don't you disappear and let me win? I already swept the scene in your absence! Now I'm the idol everyone craves!" Lindsey boasts

"You'll see…" Lola assures, not falling for Lindsey's provocations

All the contestants head backstage, while Daniella announces the pageant, like all other pageants, this one is being broadcast all over the US, through the Princess Channel.

* * *

"Welcome everyone, to the 18th Terrific Talents pageant. As the title suggests, this is a talent show and a pageant combined! Let's see what our budding ingenue's talents are. Helping us are today's judges: Aver Dresed, Exu Bryant and our special guest judge, world famous pageant king Gil DeLily!" Daniella decries

The camera pans to show the judges. Then it pans back to Daniella

"Now let us see what our sweetheart's talents are!"

(You know the drill, we just want to see Lola and Lindsey's talents so…we cut to that.)

"Next up, Lindsey Sweetwater!" Daniella announces

Lindsey takes the stage and says her talent.

"I can command others to do what I want!" Lindsey states arrogantly "Mr. DeLily, you will give me what I deserve."

"You got that right." Gil DeLily shot back "Here you go!"

Gil holds up a "0" card in one of the most amazing responses to her command!

"Judges?" Daniella questions

"I'd have to agree." Aver states "0!"

"I think Lindsey meant she wanted Gil to give her a 10, so… "0"" Exu avers

"Ok then, Lindsey is automatically eliminated, because no one could possibly do worse than a 0/30! Now for our final contestant, Lola Loud!"

Lola takes the stage and says her talent.

"I can identify every ingredient in a dish just by taste alone!" Lola confidently declares

"Oh? Then you wouldn't mind taste-testing blindfolded, would you?" Gil DeLily challenges

"I accept your challenge, Mr. DeLily!" Lola announces

Lola is blindfolded and has a plate of food sent out to her, made by a master chef. Lola takes a bite and begins to list of the ingredients.

"Flour, sugar, eggs, oil, butter, water, baking soda, vanilla extract, almond meal, honey, gelatin, glycerol, agar gum, guar gum, xanthan gum, milk, cream, Oreo™ cookies and red food dye."

"I got it!" Lola cried out "It's a vanilla flavored, cookies and cream, ice cream cake with red sherbet inside, with marzipan decorations on top!"

"Well, let us consult our master chef."

The chef runs onstage. Daniella questions him.

"Is Lola right? What is the item you made?" Daniella inquires to him

"It's my signature Cortex Chiller cake, a vanilla cake with cookies and cream ice cream and a red dyed sherbet stuffed inside it. The cake is covered with fondant and it has snowflakes made out of marzipan on the top of it." The chef clarifies "So, the little one is right, she does have impeccable taste!" The chef declares

"Judges, what do you think of Lola's talent?"

"She correctly guessed a complex pastry order's ingredients, down to the taste of color of the food coloring! I give it a 10!" Aver declares

"I am so astonished by this talent, I haven't seen anything like this before!" Exu avows "10!"

"Well, pageant king DeLily? What is your opinion?"

"Daniella, it's true that Ms. Loud has an amazing talent, she even guessed the order right after I challenged her, that took confidence!" Gil utters, having lost the challenge "9!"

"Lola has gotten a 29/30! That means she wins, as no one has gotten a score that high! Congratulations, Lola! You won!" Daniella lauds

Lola accepts her award, gives a victory speech and heads home. Once there, the rest of the Loud family congratulates her on her true 50th pageant win! While they were celebrating, the mailman arrives and puts the Louds' mail in their mailbox.

* * *

Once the celebration ended, Lisa calls a sibling meeting to discuss her latest research.

"I'm glad you're all here." Lisa began "Earlier today, I tested a hypothesis that concerned Lola. I had her taste dad's casserole."

"It was terrible, it tasted like barf!" Lola cries out in disgust

"Yes, but when you ate the pie, you listed off complex ingredients in it, like the names of chemicals that are normally additives and preservatives in the food."

"How did you know I ate a pie?"

"I spied on you."

"Why would you do that?"

"For science, of course! Anyways, I have come to the conclusion that Lola has a taste disorder."

Everyone gasps in shock!

"Which one is it, Lis?" Lincoln inquired

"She has hypergeusia, meaning she can taste everything, and recall what they are, it is the opposite of ageusia, which is a disorder in which the person can't taste anything." Lisa explains

"Is that why she eats desserts all the time?" Lucy asks

"No, she's just a dessert addict. You must have a real sweet tooth, Lola." Lisa responds "I also did a reactivity test on Lola. It shows she is hypersensitive to things that cause disgust. So, I took a specialized photograph of her brain and found that her brain is slightly larger than the others. This is because her insular cortex is abnormally large, but only slightly. It also explains why her anterior fontanelle is wider, it needed to make room for a brain with slightly more mass than normal."

"So, does that mean Lola is smart?" Lincoln reasons

"No, it means that she is hypersensitive to things that preempt an emotional response, that is the function of the insular cortex. Relating to that however, is that Lola's occipital lobe has less mass, while her parietal lobe has more mass and the frontal and temporal lobes are the same mass as a normal homo sapiens.

"So, that means Lola is more in tune with her senses and emotions, rather than logic and reasoning?" Luan enquires

"If we are speaking solely on how her brain is hardwired, then yes, but that doesn't mean she isn't cognizant of her intelligence. As her previous endeavors have proven to us." Lisa reaffirms "Lola, what did you get on the vision test when you last visited the optometrist?"

"41/42 vision." Lola replies

"She is only very slightly nearsighted, she might have some trouble seeing things very far away, but it shouldn't impact her to the point where she will need corrective lenses." Lisa clarifies, while adjusting her glasses "As for her feeling and hearing senses, they are normal, although Lola hears minutely better in her left ear, the difference is so microscopic, you'd hardly be able to tell the difference. And that is my diagnostic report of Lola Loud." Lisa concludes

Everyone leaves, as Lisa's announcement that Lola has hypergeusia, as well as her diagnosis of Lola, was the only reason Lisa called the sibling meeting.

* * *

A few hours later, Lincoln decides to retrieve the mail and cycles through the letters until one catches his eye.

"Bill, bill, solicitor, junk, junk, advertisement, solicitor, love letter addressed to L. Loud, advertisement, wait! Love letter addressed to L. Loud?!" Lincoln bellowed out. He immediately goes into his parent's room and confronts Rita about this.

"Mom, have you been sending secret admirer letters to dad again?" Lincoln demands

"No, that's not my handwriting." Rita explains

Lincoln leaves and calls an emergency sibling meeting! He brings up the letter and reads it. It's from "a secret admirer" (big shocker, I know…) they say that they're in the same school, but this person's too scared to express their feelings for her. It says that he wants to invite her over to his family's house, just so that she can see what his life's like. At the very end of the note, it shows a picture of the person he's talking about, it's a picture of Lola?!

"Ooh, someone's crushing on Lola." The sisters playfully chide her

"So, are you going to accept?" Lincoln asks Lola

"Yes, I want to see who it is, though…I think I know who it is."

The rest of the siblings go to bed. Lola lies awake, wondering who this secret admirer truly is, and why he's pining for her, she will find that out tomorrow. Lola drifts off into a slumber, eager to await what happens next.

* * *

 **Author's Note: So, Lola has hypergeusia...and she loves to eat desserts? Sounds like the opposite of a character in Gyakuten Kenji 2, Yutaka Kazami! Yutaka is pastry chef who has ageusia, so the exact opposite. For those that care about the judge's nationalities; Aver is from Paris, France, Exu is from Algiers, Algeria, and Gil is from the USA. Lansing, Michigan to be more specific. The Cortex Chiller cake's official slogan is: The tasty treat to cool you off from a stressful day. Though, since the Cortex Chiller is a cake stuffed with ice cream stuffed with sherbet, it will give you twice the brain freeze, and thrice the diabetes! The master chef also kind of looks like a young Yutaka, though this chef isn't nearly as prideful as the original one. In fact, he's quite humble when talking about his decadent, edible masterpieces! The red sherbet is an allusion to the infamous IS-7 incident in Gyakuten Kenji 2. The victim in that case was frozen inside a sherbet sculpture, and the murder weapon, a rock salt lamp, was also put into said sherbet!**

 **Yes, another "L Is For Love" incident is happening, but this time, Lincoln accuses Rita of writing another secret admirer letter to Lynn Sr. He knows about it ever since the siblings discovered their 20th anniversary notes, but even if they didn't, Lincoln still could have stumbled upon secret admirer letters from their 9th to 20th anniversaries! The show just showed us the 20th anniversary set. Here's what the letter actually said:**

 **We've been friends since the day we met, but I've always been shy  
** **To admit my true feelings, you're the one whom I pine  
** **Seeing your golden locks flow, so divine  
** **I wish we could still be friends, since you're the first one of mine  
** **Here's where I hope we can meet up, 1612 Pingrey Drive  
** **Being with you makes my heart race, and makes me feel alive  
** **Close friends paired together, it must be fate  
** **Please accept my request for a playdate  
** **From, A Secret Admirer**

 **And so begins the Twin Loves Mini-Arc...**


	43. Fractured Friendships, Fizzled Flames

"Y'know, Yumihiko. If you weren't even able to notice something like that...you're really not worthy of being called my son."-Bansai Ichiyanagi, April 6, 2019

 **Chapter Synopsis: Lola confides to her secret admirer about her first friend...**

* * *

The next day, we see Lana about to enter Lincoln's room to ask him a question, but she's looking skittish and anxious, perhaps even a little Skippy, if she wasn't a ghost. She musters up enough confidence to ask him.

"Lincoln, can I ask you something?" Lana asks

"Sure, Lana, what is it?" Lincoln questions back

"Lincoln, 18 years from now…do you think…I would have…made a good mother?" Lana inquires "I trust you, so I'd accept your answer…because you know me better than anyone else, even Lola or myself."

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because it doesn't matter anymore."

"Well…" Lincoln thinks of how to answer this "I think you would have made a great mom… you would do anything for anyone, no matter what, and I think that is the most important quality that they have."

Lana's cheeks flush a crimson shade "Thanks Lincoln…for what it's worth, I think you would have made a great father, and no, that was not sarcasm, like when Lisa said it, my words are genuine."

Lincoln chuckles softly "Thanks…Lana."

"You're welcome. Now, I'd better tail Lola and make sure she doesn't get herself into trouble." Lana explains

* * *

Lana hitches a ride in the newly-repaired Vanzilla while we see Lola and Leni heading off to the listed address on the secret admirer letter. Luckily for them, Lynn Sr did give Lola permission to go to this address, as long as Leni and Lincoln tag along to make sure nothing happens to her. All 3 of them (well 4, including our stowaway) head to the address: 1612 Pingrey Drive. Lola, Lincoln and Leni approach the door and knock. A cacophonic, chaotic ruckus is heard inside. Talking is heard inside as someone opens the door.

…

…

…

…

It's Leif, Lola's elementary school friend. He is surprised that 3 people showed up, as he was only expecting Lola. He invites the three of them in.

"Hey Lola, I see you got my letter." Leif starts to say "But I didn't expect you to bring company. Well, welcome to our house."

"OUR house?"

"Yeah, there are 13 of us…well 12, now." Leif admits

Lincoln and Leni leave to explore the house, while Lola and Leif sit down on the couch in the living room.

"I saw you at the Terrific Talents pageant yesterday, congrats on your win, by the way."

"How did you know I was at the pageant?" Lola enquires suspiciously

"Well, I heard from word-of-mouth that a little firebrand named Lola is setting the pageant scene ablaze! So, when I heard that some of the contestants were spreading rumors about how Lola might make a grand return, I thought…maybe that Lola and my friend Lola could be the same person, so I watched the pageant and saw you there. I was in the left center-back row, so you probably didn't see me, but I saw you. I sent that letter a week ago, but it only just now got to you. Sorry about that." Leif explained

"Wow, I didn't think you'd come to any of my pageants."

"What are friends for?"

That word..." friend". It makes Lola feel blissfully content. She and Leif are friends, aren't they? Lola decides to tell him something.

"Leif…"

"Yes, Lola?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything, Lola, go ahead."

"Well, I tried making friends before, I remember like it was yesterday, it was my 36th pageant."

* * *

[backstage]

"You need to socialize with people your own social class, my boy, so I notified the judges that you're taking my place."

"Aw, but dad, I want to play with the other children, they look like they're having fun! I don't want to judge some superficial pageant with a bunch of ancient fogies!"

"Too bad, you are an upperclassman, so you have to do boring rich people things. It's what we're supposed to do. Now I have to play the stock market game and sextuple our investments! I'll tell you how it pans out, now judge!"

[onstage]

"Our next contestant, Lola Loud!" Donnie announced

Lola performs a show stopping baton twirling performance, all while looking stylish, in true Lola fashion. The old male judge gives her a "9", the old female judges give her an "8" and "9" respectively, and finally, a young kid gives her a "10". After judging everyone, Lola wins (what did you expect?) but she seems enamored with the young critic. She heads backstage to talk to him.

"Hey, I haven't seen you before, are you a new judge?" Lola questioned

"No, I'm just filling in for my father. You won't see me again." The blond boy replied back

"Hey, what's your name?"

"It's Winston." He said as he left

* * *

"Wait, Winston… as in Winston Element? The trillionaires that own all the country clubs in Royal Woods?!" Leif exclaims, breaking the immersion of Lola's flashback.

"How do you know?"

"My family tried to play golf there, it was…a hassle, to say the least. Sorry for interrupting, Lola."

* * *

"Right…" Lola retorts, slightly annoyed "Anyways, I tried to become friends with him. I complimented him by giving him a "10" …but I think he took it as an insult because he failed the dismount. I even sent him a love letter to tell him how I felt. He reciprocates my feelings, too!"

"How do you know?"

"I spied on him, he seemed infatuated with my letter. We eventually met up and told us about a gala he was invited to. The invitations that were sent out said they could bring a plus one, and Winston chose me!" Lola squealed giddily "So, I dressed up in one of my fancier dresses and went to the gala with him. Unfortunately, the invitations didn't say **WHO** was throwing the gala…"

Lola arrives to the gala entrance first, the 2 servant guards speak demandingly

"Where is your V.I.P reservation?" one of the guards asked threateningly

Lola doesn't have an invitation. Winston does, but he's running a little late. Just when the servant guards are about to kick Lola out, Winston arrives and produces his V.I.P pass! The guards immediately start sucking up to him, Winston is disgustingly annoyed at their servile attitude, as he knows that they're only doing it so they won't get fired.

"Master Winston, please forgive us!" one of the servant guards begged

"Is this your plus one? She's very beautiful, young master!" the other one backpedaled

"Stop groveling…it's pathetic." Winston ordered "If you threaten me or my guest here, I'll have both of your jobs!"

Lola and Winston pass them and enter the gala. Once the guards are out of earshot Winston speaks to her.

"I only said that so that they'd leave us alone. Now, let's enjoy ourselves." Winston urged

Lola glances around at the gala. It's ritzy, glamourous and even a little avant-garde. All of Royal Woods' elite are here! But…Lola takes a closer look and sees a bunch of anti-Lincoln Loud posters outside.

* * *

"Winston…"

"What is it?"

"There are a bunch of anti-Lincoln posters outside, why is that?"

"The one who threw this gala said Mr. Loud and his sisters vandalized his limo…with mustard."

"Wait, he wouldn't happen to be a fat rich guy who kind of looks like Pops from Regular Show?"

"Yes, you know Mr. Tetherby?" Winston asked

"Sadly, yes. He made my brother as obnoxious as him, temporarily. Once Lincoln "got us back", he just begged for one last ride because he won a "find the right mustard" contest from Seed's Mustard, which is a terrible name for a mustard company, by the way. Just as we were leaving the restaurant he had the nerve to ask our brother to ditch us again!"

"Wow, he sounds like a douchebag!"

"He is."

* * *

Suddenly, a man approaches and chastises Winston!

"Where have you been, young man?! You were supposed to be here 28 minutes ago?! And who is this?! This philistine isn't even in the same social class as us!"

"Dad, this is Lola. The invitation said I could bring a plus one, so I chose her!"

"How dare you bring someone of a different socioeconomic background as us?!"

"Probably because only billionaires and lower exist on the Earth…" Winston cynically shot back

"Don't care. Servant guards, kick this poser pauper out!"

Winston has had enough of his father's elitism! In an ultimate act of defiance as well as the ultimate "fuck you" to his father, he kisses Lola…on the lips! Lola is moonstruck that he would actually kiss her! Lola almost faints, but Winston catches her before she hits the floor. Lola snaps out of her love-induced trance and stands back up.

"You're lucky that firearms are prohibited at this event or I would honor kill you right now! If it wasn't illegal, I'd crush your windpipe right now, insolent traitor!"

The rest of Winston's family see what's going on.

"Brother…why is dad so angry?" Winston's sister questioned, her voice slightly crackling

"Because he can't stand poor people, Anionia." Winston explained "I took Lola here as my plus one, but father won't accept her because she's not as rich as us."

"Ignis, what are you erupting over this time?"

"That insubordinate brat, he has defiled himself by locking lips with that commoner!" Winston's dad said lividly "Heather, back me up on this, we should restore our pure bloodline by executing him."

Winston's mother is horrified that Ignis is saying that! Usually, she can snuff out the flames of wrath that surround him, but not this time…

"It's our son's choice, so we shouldn't interfere. I support his decision." Heather said

Before Ignis can respond, the host of the gala, Lord Tetherby, makes a grand entrance into the mansion's foyer.

* * *

"Welcome to the 169th Royal Woods Gala, I'd like to thank all the elites that took time out of their busy schedules to celebrate this. Now let's party, as us rich people do!"

He starts to socialize with the other rich people, and moves on to congratulate the Element family.

"Welcome, Elements! Ignis, Heather…how're the clubs doing? I can't wait to play the back 9! Anionia, Winston…how are the cloudburst duo doing?"

"Great, Mr. Tetherby! You sure know how to throw a party!" Anionia chimed cheerfully

"Glad to hear it, sparky! The complimentary hors d'oeuvres are in the back."

"Oh boy, finger food!" Anionia heads over there to sample some of the food

"I'd better make sure she doesn't get herself into trouble…" Heather leaves to watch over Anionia

"What about you, Winston, enjoying the festivities?"

"I was, until my father got involved…" Winston rebuked

"What did you blow up over this time, Ignis?" Tetherby joked

"My son brought that poor person to this event…" Ignis said with contempt

"Your invitation said I could choose anyone to by my plus one, so I chose Lola." Winston elucidated to Lord Tetherby

Ordinarily, Lord Tetherby hates poor people, and would investigate this, but his reservations **DO** say anyone can be a plus one. Plus, he knows Ignis blows up at anything he hates, so he takes his "poor people" claim with a grain of salt. It isn't until a certain guest approaches her that he changes his tune.

* * *

"If it isn't my pageant rival, Lola Loud!" A periwinkle clad hellion said

"What are you doing here, Sweetwater?" Lola mocked

"Me and my parents are elites, so we got invited. How'd **YOU** get in?" Lindsey challenged

"Winston invited me as his plus one! Who'd you invite? Your money?" Lola chided back

"That burn is hotter than Mr. Element's rage!" One of the rich people commented

"LOUD!" Tetherby bellowed

"TETHERBY!" Lola shouted in response

"SWEETWATER!" Winston remarked

"ELEMENT!" Lindsey shouted back, playfully

"LOUD!" Ignis said in a fury

About 255 servant guards swarm the mansion's foyer! Surrounding Lindsey's family, Lola, Winston, Ignis and Lord Tetherby. Police are also on standby at the mansion and at 1216 Franklin Avenue!

* * *

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a claim to make. Zachary, make sure Ms. Loud doesn't escape." Tetherby leaves to talk with the cops.

"What is it, Mr. Tetherby?"

"Those Louds vandalized my prized limo by squirting honey Dijon mustard at it!" Lord Tetherby exclaimed

"Got any proof?" The officer asked

Lord Tetherby shows the cops his limo…it's immaculate.

"Sir, that's a perfectly clean limo, what are you talking about?"

"Well, it's clean now, but on August 3 of last year, those hoodlums defaced my limo! I want them arrested!"

"Got any proof that they did?"

"Check the surveillance footage at the Burpin' Burger." Lord Tetherby said while trying not to throw up "That rat hole has cameras that caught the delinquents in the act!"

The police investigate the Burpin' Burger. The employee there said they deleted the footage about a year ago. With nothing to go on, they arrest Lord Tetherby for wasting the police's time. Meanwhile, inside the mansion, Heather and Anionia return to the foyer and see a legion of servant guards, they make their way to the middle.

* * *

"Servant guards, disperse!" Winston, Heather and Anionia commanded

They begin to make way, but they hear another mandate.

"Servant guards, contain!" Ignis and Lindsey Sweetwater's family retaliated

"Tia? What are you doing?!" Heather yelled at Lindsey's mother

She droops her heads down in a solemn position. Ignis and Lindsey's dad discuss important business matters.

"Zachariah, how have you been?" Ignis welcomed

"Great, you?" Zachariah responded

"Terrible, that useless idiot son of mine debased himself with a peasant! He is unworthy of the Element name!"

"And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of. Genesis 22:2" Zachariah quoted

"And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said; My father: and he said; Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering? Genesis 22:7" Heather countered

"And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son. Genesis 22:10" Ignis reaffirms, Zachariah hands him his .44 Magnum (he has it for self-defense and he's a member of a gun range. He shoots recreationally, occasionally. He does have a conceal and carry permit, though he did smuggle a gun into the gala, where firearms are forbidden) with one bullet in its chamber, already prepped. Ignis cocks the hammer back and aims it at Winston! Everyone in the room gasps in abject horror, Lola faints…but recovers to see Anionia in between Ignis and Winston! Staring down the magnum's barrel, she tells off both Ignis and Zachariah with one last quote.

"And he said, lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou anything unto him: for now; I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me. Genesis 22:12" Anionia countered

…

…

…

…

Ignis relents and hands the gun back to Zachariah. The cops enter and arrest him for having a firearm in a firearm-free zone. One of the rich people snitched on him.

* * *

"Don't worry, I have a better idea!" Lindsey chimed in, Winston will choose to be friends with either me or Loud, and if she chooses her, she can stay, but if not, we elites will exile you!"

"Well, Winston? Who do you choose?" Ignis questioned

"Do I have to choose? I like both of them!"

"Yes, now who's it going to be?"

"Winston…" Lola said pensively

"Lola?"

"I… I'll be fine with whoever you pick… If it makes you happy…"

"I choose… Sweetwater…" Winston said unenthused

"YES! I WIN!" Lindsey boasted "I think I heard the exact moment your heart broke in two!" Lindsey takes out a chocolate bar and bites into it, you can hear the snapping sound of the chocolate breaking apart. "Your pain and suffering, how delicious!"

"Servant guards, evict Ms. Loud!" Ignis commanded

"Lola!" Winston cried out

"I…I see, I want you….to be happy… too. I'll miss you, Winston." Lola said sadly as she walks out of the mansion

"Don't worry, son. You did the right thing." Ignis reassured him

"Did I?" Winston seems unsure of himself "I want to be friends with Lola, too…"

* * *

Lola walks back to the Loud house with a smile on her face. It looks like she's happy, but on the inside, is a whirlwind of turmoil! Winston broke her heart, whether he knew it or not. Once at the Loud house, Lola barricades herself in her room.

"Lola, are you ok?" Lincoln questioned

"Do not go in there, elder brother!" Lisa cautioned "There is an emotionally disturbed Lola in there, there is a high chance of death!"

Lincoln wants to help Lola, but not if Lola accidently sends him to the hospital. He decides its best for her to accept it on her own terms. It took a week, but Lola has moved on.

* * *

"Wow, that was an awesome story." Leif complements

"Thanks Leif, the worst part is I think Winston truly did want to be my friend, but his father forbade it…"

"At least it didn't turn into a Romeo and Juliet affair, because we all know that doesn't end well. You only have one life, should you live yours to the fullest?" Leif concludes

"Ha… you sound just like my twin sister, you two have a lot in common. Lana would have told me the same thing."

They nuzzle up towards each other…

"Lola, if you need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you. Now, it's time to introduce you to my family. Your siblings already have a head start." Leif says, laughing

* * *

The two of them leave and explore the house. Lana leaves Vanzilla and heads over to Lola's side! She wants to be there for her sister! She approaches the house, but a pink sphere stops her. It materializes into a blond-haired boy wearing a white shirt and cape wearing a coronet on his head. He also wields one of those cardboard swords that kids play around with all the time.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" The boy commands

"I'm Lana and I'm here to protect my twin sister, Lola!

"Is she the one who's hanging around my twin brother, Leif?

* * *

 **Author's Note: Chapters 44 and 45 happen simultaneously. Now Leif knows the truth about Lola's attempted friendship with Winston. Also, wow! That Ignis...he might be as terrible as Bansai Ichiyanagi from Gyakuten Kenji 2! Both of them will definitely NOT win any "Dad of The Year" awards anytime soon. It's just a matter of who's worse. What do you think, Is Ignis better or worse than Bansai?**

 **Bansai Ichiyanagi: Abuses his power, willingly does criminal acts if it benefits him, treats his son like trash**

 **Ignis Element: Disgustingly elitist, hates poor people, would execute his son for being friends with a poor person**

 **Here's more information on the Element family.**

 **Anionia: Named after anions, which cause lightning. She is Winston's twin sister. She, like her brother, sees Ignis' focus on status abhorrent, which is why she's named after the negative ion. She will often join Winston and they'll both rebel against their father. She is a bit carefree and absentminded, but will defend her brother if he ever gets into trouble.**

 **Heather: The matriarch of the element family, she is named after both the flower and the element "aether", which is light. Ironically, the heather flower in the Language of Flowers means "good luck". She can usually calm Ignis down if he gets into one of his violent outbursts, though sometimes, this fails. She loves everyone in her family.**

 **Ignis: The patriarch of the element family, he is a savvy entrepreneur and businessman. He got his fortune by investing in the stock market. He now owns every country club in Royal Woods. He only cares about his social status, and will crush anyone who gets in his way, even his own family. He's prone to violent outbursts. He loathes poor people's very existence. His element is obviously fire.**

 **Winston: A 6-year-old boy that Lola has a crush on. His element is wind. He cares about people's personality and not their socioeconomic status. He hates his father pushing his snobbish ideology on the rest of the family.**

 **As for the Sweetwaters? Zachariah is named after "saccharide", which is what the scientific name for sugar is. Despite his status as an elite, Zachariah is indifferent to poor people. He also only gave Ignis his gun and quoted Genesis 22 because he was merely offering a suggestion as a joke and thought Ignis just said that in a rage fueled rant. He wasn't, he really was going to execute his son in front of everyone. If Zachariah had known that, he wouldn't have handed him his gun or quoted that bible verse. Tia is named after "tea", a drink that has sugar in it. she doesn't do much. Admittedly, she's kind of a doormat when compared to Zachariah. She loves making friends, rich or poor, it doesn't matter to her. And we already know about Lindsey...likes everyone, except her pageant rival, Lola Loud, who she loves to make miserable!**

 **By the way, Ignis only stopped because of having a crisis of conscience at that point. He has no qualms killing his daughter if she'll throw her life away to protect her twin brother. Although, she didn't defile herself by associating with a commoner like Winston did, in his father's eyes. If that happened, he'd feel bad, because Anionia didn't rebel against him, but then mock her for defending his no longer son.**

 **Winston agonized over that decision. He absolutely wanted to be Lola's friend, but if he chose her, Ignis might have either disowned him, exiled him, or outright killed him. Also, although Lindsey has a minor crush on Winston, she only volunteered that idea to make Lola miserable.**

 **And so, Chapter 43 ends on a suspenseful cliffhanger. Who is this boy, and why does he know Leif? Can Lana make it past him and reunite with her dear twin sister? Find out next time on Sycophant!**


	44. Lexicon

**The boy draws out his cardboard sword and twirls it around, trying to show off and intimidate Lana.**

* * *

"Activate Tri-Ember mode!" The boy shouts. His blade turns a metallic crimson and metamorphizes into a familiar looking trident. He also gains deep pink armor with fire decals that look both stylish and badass! Lana recognizes the weapon from a video game she used to play with her siblings.

"Lana… it was nice to meet you. Goodbye."

"Activate Jet PSI mode!" Lana counters. She materializes an electric blue colored spear made entirely of water! She gains azure colored armor, with a sapphire heart insignia. This armor is incredibly lightweight and mobile, perfect for evading attacks! The boy recognizes that armor and becomes slightly fearful…

"You're going to have to try a little harder than that." Lana retorts confidently

(A pink and blue essence diffuses over the area.)

(Lunar light reflects off the house's windows.)

(It seems that there is no way around this.)

(You are filled with INTEGRITY.)

(You are filled with DETERMINATION.)

* * *

"I am Lexx Loud, defender of the Loud house! I won't let you interfere with my brothers and sister! En guarde!"

Lexx begins the fight by summoning an inferno of fireballs. Lana counters by surrounding herself in a water barrier. It puts out the fire, but it also evaporates her shield!

"Not bad, girlie!" Lexx compliments "But can you deal with this?!"

Lexx's trident flashes in this order: cyan, orange, cyan, orange, orange. Lana waits, sidestep dodges, waits and charges ahead! Lana tries to attack him, but Lexx evades!

"My turn!" Lana boasts. An array of spears surrounds him. He tries to block them with the trident but he couldn't fully block the sequence. He takes 490 damage!

"Ah! Cheap shot!" Lexx comments "But you aren't the only one who can use magic attacks!"

Lexx tries to turn up the heat on Lana by spreading fireball arcs at her, she dodges every single one! Lana counters by summoning 3 spears to try to impale him. Lexx easily dodges the predictable attack!

Lex tries a fire coil attack! Lana gets trapped in the blaze and takes 640 damage!

"Finally, I managed to land a hit on you!" Lexx says exasperatedly

Lana counters by using the 8-spear, 8 circle barrage! Lexx dodges 5 of them but gets caught by the last few spears and takes 639 damage!

"Enough messing around!" Lexx bellows. He cocks his trident like a shotgun and it disperses flames! Lana retreats and dodges it. Lana uses another spear sequence, Lexx takes 472 damage!

Lexx cocks the trident and it fires a white-hot laser. Lana sidestep dodges the first one. She gets an idea! Lana quickly summons a wall of water and freezes it solid! Lexx fires another laser blast at her, but she hides behind the ice sheet! The ice reflects the laser back at him for 1900 damage! Lexx falls over and his armor disappears, his sword turns back into cardboard. Lana disengages her Undertale based combat system and rushes to help him.

"Are you ok?" Lana asks

* * *

"Yeah, the only thing hurt is my dignity." Lexx responds "Lana, you bested my trident based combat…you have my respect."

"Will you let me pass now?" Lana questions

"Sure… ha, we really **ARE** weak! I was supposed to protect my brothers, but now 3 girls and a boy, who isn't in our family, have infiltrated our house! I blame my twin, Leif! He actually looks a lot like you, girlie." Lexx admonishes "Protect your twin?" he scoffs "No, we need protection from **YOU**!"

"Why are you being so hard on yourself? I've played Undertale enough to know what the attack patterns are." Lana wonders

"…You want to know why I'm being hard on myself? Because my twin is superior to me in every way! He's caring while I'm callous; He's a bit of a coward while I'm brave; He's somewhat of a recluse, while I'm the life of the party! Despite this, I feel my family loves Leif more than me!"

"That's not true, I'm sure they love you equally!"

"Thanks for the support, Lana, but I know the truth."

"…"

"You should go be with your twin…and…sorry for attacking you. I just wanted to protect my twin. He's having a hard-enough time dealing with your twin, but if he had to deal with both of you, he'd get overwhelmed!" Lexx explains

"Lexx, don't underestimate yourself! I'm sure you can still help your family! I'm sure there's something about you that's special!"

"Well, I can recall anything I've seen before, kind of like a photographic memory."

"That's pretty cool. Alright, can you tell me what a vichyssoise is?"

"Vichyssoise (/ˌvɪʃiˈswɑːz/ VISH-ees-WAHZ; French pronunciation: [vi.ʃ ]) is a thick soup made of boiled and puréed leeks, onions, potatoes, cream, and chicken stock. It is traditionally served cold but it can be eaten hot." Lexx recalls

"That's what the Wikipedia article on it says, word for word! Amazing!" Lana compliments

Lexx blushes "Thanks…Lana."

* * *

The more Lexx thinks about it…he can't believe someone as amazing as Lana would care about him! She is tough, caring, intelligent and beautiful! Lana's a perfect tetrafecta of traits he would find admirable for a companion. He also notices Lana is the type of girl who likes to take charge of a situation. He finds this aspect of her personality scintillating! He tries to become her friend.

"Lana"

"What, Lexx?"

"Will you be my friend?"

"…Sure."

Lana decides to converse with him, just to know what kind of person he is.

"So, I see you like Undertale." Lana starts to state "What other things do you like?"

"Well, I like the Pokémon series…I know… I'm a total nerd, right?" Lexx comments

"I don't think so. I like that series too! What's your favorite _Pokémon_?"

"Pokémon #334!"

"Oh, _Altaria_ , huh?"

"Yeah, it's both badass and adorable! It's dragon/flying type, but you wouldn't think it would be, so it shouldn't be underestimated…I guess it's like me in that regard. It even got a mega evolution in gen 6! Plus, it looks so comfortable! I bet snuggling up to its cloud laced wings will guarantee you'll be put to sleep with a blissful expression." Lexx gushes. Lana isn't used to seeing a softer side to Lexx, she thought he would be a "play fighting" type of kid. She's glad she's wrong, though. Lana wants to see more of his sweet side.

"Ok, what's your favorite region?"

"Sinnoh"

"Did you know that…" Lexx attempts to say

"Sinnoh was based off of the Japanese island of Hokkaido?" Lana finishes his sentence

"Yes, actually. Wow you really know your stuff, Lana!"

Lana gives a cute smile back. I don't know much about "girl code", but if I had to make a guess, Lana is trying to convey the message: "Aw thanks, it was nothing…" with body language. Lexx apparently knows some of the signals, as he responds back with a confident glare that says: "Don't downplay that, that is a big accomplishment…but I respect your humbleness."

* * *

"Hey, Lana? I want to get to know you better, too. What is your favorite show?"

"Person of Interest, my brother and I used to watch it together…we really bonded over that show. But about why I like it so much…it has a bunch of programming terminology referenced in the episode titles. It has the perfect blend of action, comedy and drama and there are amazing special effects, those transitions in between scenes are so cool! I saw my sister Luan watch a few episodes, and now she's hooked! She even watches them with my brother, Lincoln. Which is amazing since she doesn't like science fiction at all…except _Star Wars_. Star Wars is awesome…except _The Phantom Menace_ , that's the only prequel movie that actually sucked. The fight scene with _Darth Maul_ was cool, but the rest of the movie suffered from painfully slow pacing and was ruined by that gungan; Fucking _Jar Jar Binks_! Sorry for getting off on a tangent there…and sorry for cussing, I know it's not ladylike, but I'm a tomboy, and I still have a distaste for vulgarity. It's just that…everyone thinks Jar Jar is the most annoying thing in existence and I would have to agree." Lana elucidated

"It's no problem. Actually…you look kind of cute when you're angry."

"Re…Really?" Lana said, as her cheeks turn bright red

"Yeah, now my turn. My favorite show is _Law and Order_. All the cases are very loosely based on a true story, but its presented in an entertaining way."

"Aren't you too young to watch Law and Order?"

"Aren't you too young to watch Person of Interest?" Lexx retorts

"Touché, Lexx. Any other video games that you like?" Lana inquires

"I love the _Mother_ series, it's an RPG based in the real world and has a bunch of zany wackiness to attract fans to play it."

"Ah, Earthbound…Linc let me try it once. It was complicated but I understand the basic mechanics. I think it's a cool game, but it's not for me." Lana admits

"Fair enough, but what about you, what did you want to be when you grow up?"

"I had a few options, steamfitter, plumber, mechanic or doctor. You?"

"Either an actor, director or screenwriter. I love to perform, but it would also be a waste to not use my knowledge…"

"Ok."

"You know, I overheard Leif describe someone like that, his friend's twin sister wanted to pursue those occupations."

"I heard my sister, Lola, talk about her friend's twin brother. He wanted to be an actor."

Lana and Lexx put 2 and 2 together…

"So, they were talking about you." Both of them said in unison

* * *

"Lexx?"

"Lana?"

"I want to tell you something."

"Sure, go ahead."

"I used to have a crush on a boy in my class named Skippy. I thought he was cool, so I tried to talk to him, but couldn't because I was nervous."

"You were nervous?" Lexx utters in disbelief "But you seemed so confident!"

"Like I said, I was infatuated with him, that's why. I thought he was too awesome to be with a girl like me…"

"What?! No way! I think you're at least thrice as awesome than what you claim him to be!" Lexx blurts out

"Heh, thanks Lexx. Anyway, my sister Luna encouraged all of us to slip notes to our "love interests", she got the idea from our mother, who did the same thing when she was too nervous to talk to our dad. So, we did. I slipped my note in his toolbox, because we were in the same mechanics class together, and hid to watch his unbiased reaction…he loved it. I also modified his bike to go super-fast…heh heh, maybe I made it too fast…"

"So, what happened?"

"This." Lana points to her phantasmal form "I saw him at my funeral…"

In a blurry vision, we see Skippy kneeling down on one knee in front of Lana's grave.

"Lana…I didn't know you felt that way toward me…I never got to tell you how I feel…"

He places a gorse flower on her grave and walks away sullenly.

"I sent him a correspondence letter explaining what happened. We both wanted to be friends with each other, but now….it will never happen.'

'Why not?"

"Because he's alive and I'm not, sure I **COULD** try to be friends with him, but in his counter-correspondence letter back, he said that it's best if we don't hang out with each other anymore, and I share the same sentiment. After all, it would probably freak people out if they saw a kid with a blue sphere following him around, or with objects floating around him…I want him to be happy.

"You really love everyone, don't you, Lana?"

"I love making friends, and helping people out, but for a relationship? I prefer to be celibate. Who knows, maybe that would have changed in 18 years? But, we can still be involved…platonically, as friends."

"Thanks for telling that to me, I understand…I want you to be happy, too."

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Lexx."

"Same, I'm glad we're friends, Lana."

Lana and Lexx gaze into each other's eyes and glance at the moon. It was a waxing gibbous. It feels like the moon flows an affectionate aura. They hold each other's hands and peer through the windows of this second Loud house. They want their respective twins to be happy, too.

* * *

 **Author's Note: In the Undertale fight, Lexx has more HP and attack power, but Lana has an evasion advantage. Lexx has 3500 HP, while Lana has 1500. When Lexx cocks his trident like a shotgun and it shoots out fire like a flamethrower, as well as a white-hot laser, that is a reference to the SpongeBob Movie game, where buckethead King Neptune (the final boss of the game, and is King Neptune hypnotized by Plankton's mind control bucket helmet) does the same thing when he attacks. It seems like these two have many common interests with each other. Also, it seems like everyone loves Lola and Lana. Speaking of Lola, she still has to meet the rest of Leif's family...luckily, while Lana and Lexx had their little heart-to-heart, Leif has been introducing Lola to the rest of his family. We saw Lana's side with Chapter 44, next is Lola's side in Chapter 45. Look forward to it.**


	45. Just Play Along

**Chapter Synopsis: Leif introduces Lola to his family**

* * *

Leif begins to show Lola around this 2nd Loud house. It looks exactly the same. He introduces her to his parents first.

"Lola, this is our mom and dad." Leif announces

"Hello." Lola said to them

"Hi. So, you're Leif's new friend? Leif's mom asks. She looks exactly like Rita, but the only noticeable difference is that she wears dark green, similar to Lynn Sr.

"Leif, are you sure it's a good idea to invite your friend over here?" Leif's dad questions skeptically. Again, he looks like Lynn Sr, but he wears salmon pink clothes, just like Rita!

"Yes, dad."

* * *

Leif takes Lola upstairs and starts to introduce the rest of the siblings. He starts with the first room, he heads left and down at the junction. This would be this house's version of Lily and Lisa's room. Inside, they find Leni teaching a brown-haired kid how to sew and a baby playing with a microphone. A green blanket is being held up…kind of.

Lola, this is the youngest member of the Loud house, this is Leon. He wants to be a news reporter when he grows up. I think he got the idea from watching the nightly news with mom and dad.

Like Lily, Leon also babbles incoherently, here is what he said.

"Mime in racket, serious wear the islambick tearorthis r beaming pommed bye US fyters. These terarorthis r confirmed two be in eyesis. Serian rebles hav b-gan liberating racket from eyesis and the A sod regym backed by Prussian and I ran Ian forces. Mime Lean on Loud, and tis was world news tonite!"

"Ok, moving on. Next is Levi, this is the same Levi I was telling you about, Lola. The one who taught me how to repair electronic equipment for Lexx's play! He can do pretty much anything, but he prefers anything involved with precision."

"Ok, now just finish the backstitch and you'll be finished." Leni instructs

Levi does so, he finishes making a shirt.

"He also made this sky-blue shirt I'm wearing right now." Leif clarifies

"Greetings, sibling and female homo sapien. I terminated the fabrication of this article of clothing, now what services do you require from me?" Levi spoke sesquipedalian-esque (It means he talks in big words)

"What?" Lola asks confusedly

"He wants to know if we need anything."

"No?"

"Ok, then begone, and leave me to be mentored by this knowledgeable female specimen."

"Actually, Levi. I'm going to explore the house." Leni asserts to him

"Fine." Levi responds, slightly dejected

* * *

Leif and Lola pass Leif and Lexx's room and head into what should be Lynn and Lars' room.

"Lynn here wants to be a professional figure skater!" Leif begins to say

"MAN, SHUT UP!" Lynn bellows at him

"He got the idea watching the 2016 winter Olympics, if that doesn't work, he told me gymnast is his next option." Leif finishes

"And Lars wants to become a demonologist."

"What is that?"

"Someone who studies demons. He got the idea watching his favorite show of all time, _Supernatural_. If that doesn't pan out, he'll settle on being a priest."

"Isn't Supernatural the show with the 2 gun brothers?"

"The _Winchesters_? Yeah."

"Wait, isn't that show super violent? Doesn't it have a PG-14 rating? How old is Lars?"

"8"

"Why is he watching it?"

"Because he told me the show's awesome, I never watched it, though."

* * *

Leif and Lola move on to Luke and Lane's room.

"Luke may look like a rocker, but he's studying to be an acoustician." Leif explains

"What is that?"

"An acoustician is someone who studies the frequencies of sound waves and the effects they have." Luke states

"Lane always mocks us with his dummy, so he thought, why not become a critic? For research, he's watching a show where some guy yells at people all the time. He says it's a cooking show, but I'm not sure."

Leif and Lola head to the final room, Loki and Loni's room.

* * *

"Loni decided he wanted to be an architect. He had a project in grade school to build a birdhouse. He ended up building an amazing house!"

"Ok, cool!" Lola chimes in

"Finally, we have Loki, he's a little rough around the edges, but he's a real softie once you get to know him."

"No, I'm not, bro!" Loki counters

"You told me you wanted to be a school guidance counselor when you grow up to help troubled youths."

"Belittle troubled youths." Loki clarifies

"He also has drill sergeant instructor in mind, too. He also got invited to one of Miguel's ragers!"

"Ragers? What are those?" Lola questions

"See, there's this super popular college freshman named Miguel. He throws the parties to end all parties. Rumor has it there are only four in existence! Miguel invited Loki, who just finished high school, to it, so that he can get a taste of the college lifestyle. His catchphrase is even: "All right, lets rage!" Which means he's going to party hard!"

"Sounds interesting…" Lola utters awkwardly

* * *

They head back downstairs and meet up with someone else, this person looks kind of like Lincoln, but if he was a girl. She talks to Leif.

"So, Casanova, who's the lucky lady?" She snidely remarks in a playful manner

"Oh, that's Lola Loud, she's just a friend from school." Leif replies back "Did you make sure our brothers won't interfere?"

"Of course, your big sister has got your back, Leif."

Leif leaves his sister and talks with Lola, he's going to tell her what's going on.

"So, let's get to the reason why I invited you over here. I wanted to invite you on a playdate."

"Are you toying with my emotions?" Lola inquires suspiciously

"No, this is completely nonromantic, we are just going to engage in some recreational activities and hopefully, enjoy them."

"Oh…ok, I can do that." Lola retorts

* * *

Meanwhile, upstairs…

"Ok bros, Leif is going to hang out with that chick he invited over."

"So, it's agreed then, we sabotage his date?"

"Yeah, we wouldn't be his brothers if things go RIGHT for him."

"I thought this was a secret test of character for her?"

"Pfft, no. This is to annoy our little bro."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Ahh! Linka, what are you doing interrupting our sibling meeting?"

"Leif wanted me to make sure you guys don't screw this up for him, so don't."

Linka leaves, leaving the brothers all alone.

"All agreed to interfere with Leif's date?"

"Yes"

* * *

Back downstairs, Leif is playing a video game with Lola. Lola is wiping the floor with him.

"Aw man! You're too good for me, how about some co-op?"

"Sure, what did you have in mind?"

"Event matches."

They take turns playing event matches, trading off with each win, until they get to event 33: _Lethal Marathon_. Both Lola and Leif failed that challenge.

"I always struggle with that one."

"Me too…"

* * *

They're about to start playing another round when Lars comes in and flips the HDMI setting to digital, he changes the channel and waits.

"Dude! We were in the middle of something!" Leif yells at him

"Sorry, Leif, Supernatural is on and I can't miss it."

Leif changes the channel to a cartoon channel, it appears to be a trial of some sort…

"This is how _Rose_ shattered _Pink Diamond_!"

Lars is unamused and changes it back to Supernatural.

" _Steven Universe_? Really, bro?" Lars questions

"Aw, I thought I saw you in it." Lola says cheekily

"Fine, we'll go somewhere else." Leif relents

"Before we do, can I do one thing?" Lola enquires

"Sure?"

Lola clears her throat and shouts this:

"DEAN IS HOTTER THAN SAM!"

A massive 9.9 earthquake is heard!

"I think you triggered all the Supernatural fans!"

"That was the plan, and since Lars is the only one who watches the show here, they'll target him." Lola states eloquently

Leif and Lola leave just before they hear the opening theme song and the stampede of angry Supernatural fans who think Sam is the better Winchester, even though both brothers are awesome.

 **"Carry on my wayward son…!"**

* * *

They walk into the kitchen and see Lincoln there, he's just loitering around. Luke and Lane enter. Luke changes the frequency on his Acouslifier (his acoustic amplifier, he came up with that name himself) and begins to play a soft rock/R and B song to help Leif serenade Lola, even though Leif said it's not that kind of date. Lane prepares food for both of them that meet his rigid expectations. Both of them eat it and like it!

Suddenly, a white glove slaps Lola across the face and is thrown down!

"I challenge you to an ice skating competition!" Lynn asserts

"But it's not winter, there's no ice yet!" Lola points out

"Oh, sorry about that, I guess I didn't think this through…I'll stop messing with you now."

"Alright, we'll just watch YouTube videos on my phone." Leif utters

Levi hacks into his phone and redirects him to an educational video.

"Joke's on Levi, I love _Bill Nye the Science Guy_." Lola assures him

He redirects them to another video, this one titled "Home Video. The date is October 18, 2016. It shows footage from the episode "One of The Boys". It shows the Loud brothers being obnoxious jerks to Lincoln.

"Well, what do you think?" Leif asked

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lola inquires

"That footage is doctored because Lincoln only came here today!" Both of them declare in unison

"Wow, we do think alike! Want to go outside? Sure!" Both of them reply to each other

As they head outside, Leif decides to confide in Lola.

* * *

"Lola..."

"Yes, Leif. What is it?"

"I'm…really glad you're my friend."

"Thanks."

"You know… even though my name means "beloved", I don't feel like anyone, aside from my family, of course, loves me."

Lola stare at him with a shocked expression, he continues

"My twin Lexx is better than me. He's way more popular and handsome than I could ever be. Everyone around me makes me feel…inadequate and insecure."

"Leif…" Lola said in concern

"But you…you accepted my request for friendship. For that, I'm grateful…because…I think I'm becoming more confident thanks to you being supportive of me!" Leif admits

They stop and see a pink banner that says: Welcome, Leaves friend. Loni steps out from behind a tree and surprises them.

"Do you like it, little bro?" Loni asks

"If only you could construct words as well as you can construct houses." Leif comments "Sure, the banner is pretty, do you like it, Lola?"

"Yes, it's pink and adorned with glitter!"

Ok, I think it's time for you to go home…grab your sister and brother and leave…but, I'd love it if you'd visit again.

Leif and Lola head back inside, Leni and Lincoln are waiting.

"Are you ready to go home?" Leni questions

"Yes, I had fun."

Just as they were about to leave, Leon crawls all the way up to Leif and bites him!

* * *

"OW!"

Leif rushes to the sink to clean his wound. While he does so, Loki begins to talk to Lola.

"Hello, reprobate." Loki snarls

Leni stands up to him for her.

"What is your problem?!" Leni shrieks at him "Why did you force Leon to bite Leaf?"

"Don't worry, he's fine." Loki brushed off "Matter of fact is that this miscreant is trying to seduce Leif from us. We don't want that to happen."

"Seduce? What are you talking about? We were just having fun!" Lola pointed out

"As the older brother, I have a duty to protect my siblings. So, for Leif's protection, I'm banning you from our house, forever. I noticed you look good in pink. I wonder, can you pull off black?" Loki questions sinisterly

"No way, that color's…"

Lola glances at the scene, Loki tried to punch her, but Leni blocked it.

"I won't let you hurt my sister. Now, apologize to your brother and his friend!" Leni commands

"Or what, bitch?" Loki challenges "You're going to fashion me to death?"

Leni looks at him with a smile…and laughs softly.

"No…I'm going to do this."

Leni bends his fist, hard. A snapping sound is heard. Loki yelps in pain.

"I'll ask again, apologize to Leif and Lola for you and your brother's interference with their playdate."

"Ok…fine. Lola, I'm sorry we tried to interfere, we just wanted to protect Leif." Loki announces

"By having Leon bite him?"

"That was to distract him, Leon is still teething, so Leif will be ok."

* * *

Lola, Lana, Lincoln and Leni leave this 2nd Loud house and head back to their own home. Meanwhile, we see Loki apologize to Leif.

"Ok bro, I admit it, we tried to ruin your playdate! I thought we were just messing with you in good fun. We were trying to josh with you, but we realized we went too far! Can you forgive us, Leif?!" Loki grovels

"I don't like what you did, but if you are truly sorry and promise to not interfere anymore, then I forgive you." Leif responds, and left. Linka arrives and confronts the oldest sibling...

"Now for your punishment…"

"What are you talking about, Linka?"

"Mom and dad heard about what you did, and they gave me the authority to punish you, so I choose…THIS!"

Loki is heard screaming as the scene transitions back to the Loud house we're all so familiar with, now that that's over. We see an overcast of clouds roll in…it seems like a storm is coming. I wonder what will happen next?

* * *

 **Author's Note: Since the chapter didn't go into much detail about the brothers' characterization, I'll cover it here. Since the parents have the same names as the originals, I'll put "Reverse" to differentiate between the brothers' parents and the sisters' parents.**

 **Reverse Rita: Since the original Rita had a crossing guard job, then this version of Rita would be a traffic light technician. It's her job to make sure all the traffic lights in Royal Woods are fully operational. Although, since Royal Woods is a small town, it should be an easy job. She is the stricter of the parents. However, she still does show that she sometimes enjoys having fun with her family.**

 **Reverse Lynn Sr: The original Lynn works in an office and is somewhat knowledgeable in computers. This version of Lynn is a home agent, but not for any old office job. He's been deputized by the US government as a counterterrorism hacker! His code name is Binder. A portmanteau of binary and bind, since he freezes all actions of binary with his codes! He is a connoisseur of all things France, in contrast to original Lynn's affinity with Britain. He also has some interest in becoming a food scientist, but that's just something he studies in his spare time. In his relationship, he's the one who slipped secret admirer letters, whereas in the original version, it was the other way around. He is a bit more serious than the original version, but he's still as wacky as the original when he wants to be.**

 **Leon: The baby of the Loud brothers. He enjoys watching the news, even though he can't understand it. If Lily has a budding interest in photography, then Leon also has an affinity for a camera based job. In his case, being a news reporter. At least he gets to see the world. Even if most of it is in turmoil, nowadays...**

 **Levi: The resident genius of the brothers. That's probably why he looks like Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory. He's a jack of all trades and prefers jobs that involve precision. He also has some hacking knowledge, thanks to the internet and because his father is a hacker. He is surprisingly good in clothes making, seeing as he makes the clothes the family wears.**

 **Leif: The younger of the two loud twins by only 2 minutes. He enjoys being outdoors and likes anything associated with it, like camping or hiking a trail. He's also one of the more feminine of the brothers. In an alternate reality that stars the Loud brothers, he takes Lincoln's place as the one who narrates the chaos. He's also a decent Smash player (though Lola easily outclasses him) and an avid cartoon watcher (he likes Cartoon Network shows as opposed to Nickelodeon shows, though he still enjoys some of them). Even though he seems carefree, he's actually a deeply insecure person. He's an outcast and thinks he's overshadowed by his twin. Lola managed to change his mind a little by becoming his friend.**

 **Lexx: The older of the two loud twins by only 2 minutes. He's a people person and enjoys making friends. He also has a photographic memory. He's kind of an arrogant person and enjoys the art of thespianism, as well as trying to improve his acting, so that he may shine on the big screen! Even though he's arrogant, it's all just a façade. He is deeply lonely and wants to have friends that like him. He thinks that his twin is so much better than he is. Lana manages to snap him out of it by becoming his friend.**

 **Lars: He's still a gloomy and gothic person, but he actually does want to help others by becoming a member of the church. He still writes angsty fanfiction so edgy that normal people cut themselves on it. He also writes depressing poetry, but not to the extent that Lucy does, it's just a hobby for him. His favorite thing to do is watch Supernatural. Even though it's fiction, he's so entranced with the world of the show, and all the supernatural things the Winchesters fight are so cool looking and interesting. He also finds Crowley's antics humorous (but then again, who doesn't). Despite all of this, he's a pretty nice guy, and one of the nicest Loud brothers.**

 **Lynn: Still athletic, just like the original, although he focuses on more female-oriented sports. He is a fan of the Olympics and will watch every sport on there religiously. He aspires to be just as good as those Olympians someday. He actually has an intense regimen to train himself for figure skating and gymnastics, so you can see how dedicated he is to being the best at the sport. He isn't a stereotypical jock, like the other Lynn is. This one actually supports everything his siblings do, even if he doesn't agree with what some of them do.**

 **Lane: He wants to be a critic when he grows up. Not to yell at people, but to encourage people that they can do better, and that he is looking forward to their improved crafts in the future. He is a bit terse, but that's only because he doesn't want to sugarcoat anything to hurt the person's feelings. If it sucks, he'll tell you it sucks, then offer you helpful advice on how you could do better. For research, he watches a slightly neutered version of a parody of Hell's Kitchen. I mean, he doesn't want Leon to crawl by when a parody of Gordon Ramsay shouts "It's fucking raw!" at someone.**

 **Luke: Even though he dresses like a greasy rocker, he's actually studying the science of sound. He's testing what frequencies affect people the most. Yes, that includes ultrasound and infrasound. Once, on Halloween, he and Linka pranked everyone by having Linka dress up like SCP-106 while Luke plays the 17-hertz frequency of fear. Everyone was SO scared, and they were SO mad when they found out it was just a prank. He's actually a pretty cool bro to have, I mean, having him is like having your own music playlist! Just tell him what you're in the mood for and he'll happily oblige!**

 **Loni: Just like Leni, Loni is a ditzy idiot...on the surface. He's actually quite knowledgeable at his craft, if nothing else. He is a master architect, as anyone who's seen his grade school birdhouse can attest to. He can make all sorts of masterful arts and crafts, just like Leni, but he's particularly amazing at woodworking. Though he has made some cool metal artwork. He's also the nicest of the Loud brothers and is the least likely to tease anyone, though that doesn't mean he can josh around occasionally. He's also kind of oblivious to love, not noticing any signs that a girl might be into him, though Leni has the same problem, too.**

 **Loki: Upon first glance, he's a rude abrasive jerk...and he is. But deep down, he does care about his siblings a lot. Just like Leif said, he wants to help people, so that's why he wants to be a military instructor or a school guidance counselor. He wants to help people help themselves. He might be a bit too overprotective with his siblings however, seeing as he responds to any threat with overwhelming force. But it's only because he cares, even if he really doesn't want to admit it. He also enjoys messing with people, trolling people on his phone over Facebook, or by teasing his younger bros, but it's all in good fun.**

 **Linka: The only sister to the Loud brothers, she has the most power of anyone in the house. Her parents trust her the most. She likes comic books and video games, just like Lincoln does. Her brothers all fear her, as she can be really scary when she wants to be. Luckily for them, she's a nice person if you don't anger her. Like Levi, she's also a jack of all trades, but that's only because she has to help out her brothers sometimes, and just like Lincoln, she has a plan for dealing with 10 brothers.**

 **Miguel: Not a member of the Loud brothers, but I mentioned him so here's information about him. He's a college freshman who's known for throwing parties. His signature catchphrase is "Alright, let's rage", that should tip you off. Although he might be a party animal, he's actually very responsible, a nice guy and just plain fun to be around. He invites high school seniors to his parties to show them that college isn't just another circle of the hell that is learning, college can be fun! He even has non-alcoholic sparkling cider for the party guests, because he isn't stupid enough to bring liquor to a party that minors are attending! His parties...boy, if you know what a wild teen party is, you haven't seen anything yet! His Ragers are "the" parties to be at. He also has heavy security, so no one will try any funny business at his parties, I mean, he specifically banned orgies and any kind of sex from his parties. When not partying, Miguel is a quiet student trying to earn a master's degree in design. He's an aspiring artist, too.**

* * *

 **Oh boy, Leon's report is going to date this fanfic. The brothers' plan of messing with Leif's playdate was just their way of teasing him, they're actually happy for him. Yeah, Lola basically made Leif her bitch during that Super Smash Bros play session, I mean, Leif is decent at the game, but Lola is a master compared to him! Also, even though Lola doesn't watch Supernatural, she knows the basic premise of it. It's about 2 brothers trying to follow in their father's footsteps and dealing with the odd happenings that plague the world. She also said that Dean was hotter than Sam just to troll the fandom and to get back at Lars for messing with Leif. By the way, Lars was watching an episode that featured "Carry On My Wayward Son", the musical masterpiece by Kansas! There are 10 episodes (11 if you count the 200th episode special) of Supernatural that have the song, but I don't know which one Lars watched. Even though Luke and Lane mistook Leif's playdate for an actual date, both of them did try to help their brother impress Lola. Lola actually finds Bill Nye The Science Guy entertaining and educational, she also knows that the announcer of the show went on to voice Master Hand in Super Smash Bros Brawl. Lola didn't think she'd make any friends, not because she's insecure, but because she's a horrible person. Why would anyone be friends with someone as capricious as her? They'd run for their lives! Lola is glad Leif is friends with her. Loni means well, even though he's a horrible speller and he just wants Leif to succeed. Loki wanted to protect his bro, the only way he could accomplish that is by removing the threat, Lola. Luckily, Leni taught him a lesson. She managed to break one of his wrists and make him yelp in pain! Considering he was going to punch Lola, he kind of deserved it. His parents though so too, as they gave Linka the permission to punish him. We don't know what the punishment is, all we know is that Loki was afraid of it, and that he's still alive afterward, so what could it be? I'll leave that one to you. But this concludes the final Mini-Arc in Sycophant, the Twin Loves arc. Next time, back to the character vignettes!**


	46. Lighting Up The Darkness

**Chapter Synopsis: Lana and Lucy hang out**

* * *

It was a cool dusk night on October 11, 2017. A black shadow pierces the idyllic scene of nocturne. It is at the cemetery, kneeling at the Tranquility Grave. It takes out two candles, one pink and one blue, and lights them. It is apparently holding some sort of candlelight vigil. The shadow begins to utter a few words to the tombstone.

"Lana…you were right, that poem **WAS** a self-fulfilling prophecy! If only I decrypted your message faster…!"

The shadow pounds the ground next to the grave in a fit of anger. I'm not sure if doing that would counts as desecration of a grave, but hopefully they didn't make Lana angry by doing that.

"But…I guess a miracle happened, Lincoln…he recovered from his coma within 42 days. Usually it takes a few YEARS for someone to wake up from a comatose state, if they wake up AT ALL! Forty-two, isn't that the answer to life? No, because 6*9=54 and not 42. Regardless, Lincoln is still alive, so the omen was wrong. But…I'm glad it was."

The shadow leaves the cemetery and heads back to the Loud house. Upon stepping into the illuminated house, the shadow is revealed to be Lucy. She heads back to her room. She, like Lincoln, is the only one in her respective room because Lucy requested that all of Lynn's stuff be moved to the basement, and everyone agreed. The reason for this? Lucy can access the spiritual plane through her occultist artifacts and her training as a spirit medium, and thus, she can sense things that others can't. Lynn's stuff is imbued with negative connotations. It's a suffocating aura of both terror and hatred! Lucy even refuses to go into Lincoln's room because she can still feel the pain and suffering caused by the incident 145 days ago!

* * *

On the plus side though, Lucy got to redecorate the room. She decorated it as a wonderfully macabre and gothic style that inspires curiosity and awe rather than revulsion and horror. Basically, she made it so that if someone looks in her room and sees it, they'd go "aww, that's so creepy and cool, awesome!" instead of "oh, that's just not right!" and running away in fear.

Lana's ghost sees Lucy attempting to talk to her using the Ouija board again and materializes in front of her.

"I saw you trying to use that thing to try and talk to me. You know, I can just talk to you normally, like this, without needing that cultist relic." Lana states "So, I thought I'd just appear here and cut out the middleman, so to speak. And if you're wondering, no, you didn't defile my grave by pounding the ground." Lana finishes

"Lana, did you hear what I said to you back at the cemetery?" Lucy questions

"Yeah, the poem didn't come true…is what you think, but it's actually a split choice. We're just on the one where everyone is reunited. I saw Lola trying to finish what I'd started, so did everyone join her group?" Lana explains

"Everybody except Lynn. Leni even made an honorary bracelet for you!" Lucy answers in response

Lana scoffs "Typical. Lola would have even invited Lynn as an enforcer of the Inner Circlet, to protect all of our siblings, but then she did **THAT**. That's when I realized, maybe some people either aren't worth saving, or don't want to be saved. She could have redeemed herself if she'd just waited a little while longer… but her stubborn pride got in the way, even after I'd forgiven her for accidently killing me, at least I knew it was an accident. But premeditated murder on one of our own siblings? Betrayal is the worst crime, and betraying others puerilely for self-gratification…is the most despicable act of all."

Lucy just listens in a reverential awe as Lana continues her tangent.

"Times have changed since the political discord in Italy in the year 1320. At least there is justification for betrayal today. For betraying family, only if they're abusive. For betraying your country, to overthrow a megalomaniacal ruler with absolute power and reinstate a more stable government. For betraying guests, if they try to mooch off of you and take advantage of your generosity. For betraying god…well…perhaps it's better not to get involved with religion in the first place, as many atrocities have started over that."

* * *

"Sorry, I got into a bit of a tirade there. You want to know more about the poem, right?"

"Yeah, how is it a split path prophecy?" Lucy asks

"Here is the 3rd part of the poem." Lana utters

"However, if all the siblings can reunite"

"The dysfunction ends, and all is right"

"This ends our cautionary tale"

"With our plan, we must not fail"

"If all the siblings can reunite…Lola is trying to do just that! The only one that didn't join is Lynn!" Lucy realizes

"Yep, this whole thing happened because of Lola, and now it's going to end with her, too. And as soon as it does, everyone in the Loud house will live together in harmony now that Lynn, the one who caused the most dysfunction is gone! Don't misconstrue what I'm saying, there will still be dysfunction, there will still be disagreements between the siblings after all, but the amount will be significantly less since they'll be actively trying to resolve their conflicts. Less strife, less corruption. It will drop down to tolerable levels. That is the second line of the final stanza of the poem." Lana clarifies

"And the last 2 lines just summarize the rest of the poem."

"Yes, and that is the business aspect of our meeting. But I had another reason to visit you." Lana admits

"Which is?"

"Since I'm here, do you want to do anything with me, like show me some of your divination readings or we could watch your favorite show, Vampires of Melancholia. How about it, Luce?" Lana asks

* * *

"Sure, I can read your fortune through my tarot cards, though I know you know the major arcana cards."

Lucy takes out a tarot card deck and shuffles it, she lays 5 cards facedown, she starts to read Lana's fortune.

"Right now, it seems you are filled with kindness in a house filled with apathy and cruelty."

Lucy flips over the leftmost card, a queen of cups.

"You love your brother Lincoln and want everyone else to do the same. After all, a family is supposed to love each other, right? Not in this case."

Lucy flips over the second card, it's the lovers reversed!

"You feel boxed in and trapped, you feel like you can't even trust your own family! Why can't anyone understand that the bond between you and your brother is special?! Something big is happening, but you don't know what it is! All you know is, it's not good…"

Lucy flips over the middle card, the most dangerous card to get, the tower reversed!

"Giving up everything material, you resign yourself to watching from the spirit plane, hoping your family will reconcile, and lo and behold! 110 days after the catalyst to Lincoln's suffering, Lincoln absolves his little white lie and the superstitions of his family for something much more precious, the truth."

Lucy flips over the fourth card, the king of pentacles.

"The outcome of this entire ordeal is that Lincoln is happy, and it's all thanks to the efforts of the Loud house twins. Lola, for giving her twin the courage to stand up against Lincoln's unjust treatment, in her own way; And you, Lana, for never giving up on your brother. Thanks to your efforts, the future looks brighter and brighter for the Loud family!"

Lucy flips over the rightmost card, it's the world.

* * *

We see Lana crying over how beautiful that story was. And that was all crafted from basic knowledge of what the tarot cards meant. She basically summarized the entire story with in about 3 paragraphs.

"That was beautiful…" Lana states to her

The clock chimes… it's 8:00 PM, it's time for…a lot of shows actually, but the siblings have agreed to let Lucy watch her precious vampires, as a result of realizing that everyone ignores Lucy. She watches the show while Lana watches her watching the show from the background. At 8:30 PM, the show is over and Lucy retreats back into her dark enclosure.

"So, what happened?"

"Eh, more of the same, really. Griselda tried to find a new vampire boyfriend to make Edwin jealous. It worked and he flew back to her, reassuring her that he won't forget about her. I just wish they'd stop overhyping the romantic tension and canonize the fact that Edwin and Griselda are a couple, this drama has gone on for 2 whole seasons!" Lucy complains

"Oh…well I think I found something you might like. It's called The Immortal and The Restless. It's a telenovela parody of the romance genre, it's about a vampire named Vlad, his mistress, Clara, and their child. The main premise of the show is that Clara demands that Vlad take care of their child, but Vlad claims the child isn't his. It's glaringly obvious the child was his and it's taken to comedically absurd lengths. You get one episode for each night you finish in FNAF: Sister Location, but someone already compiled all the episodes on YouTube, so we can just watch all the episodes in order. Since you like Vampires of Melancholia, I thought you might like satirizing a parody of it." Lana elucidates

"Ok sure, lets watch it."

* * *

Lana pulls up the video. Both of them notice the jarring art style. Lucy comments on it.

"Why is the art direction so terrible?"

"Because it's a parody, they're trying to make it bad on purpose."

They watch the first episode.

"How can anyone not tell the child is Vlad's? It's **SO** obvious!"

"I think that's the joke…"

"Also, vampires don't disintegrate their food! All they do is suck blood!"

"Yeah, they took some creative liberties during the production of this soap opera knockoff."

They watch the second episode.

"Ok, I have to admit, Vlad working the graveyard shift at a fast food taco joint was pretty funny!"

"Or how about when Vlad said that the baby isn't his by claiming that all kids run around hyperactively all over the place, when it's shown that their kid is actually flying!"

"You know, even though is a parody intended to mock overdramatic romances, I'm actually really interested in what happens next." Lucy admits

"Glad to hear it, now let's finish watching the rest of the series. It only has 4 episodes."

They watch the third episode.

"Well, that escalated quickly."

"Yeah, I mean that really got out of hand fast."

They watch the fourth and final episode to the season 1 finale. How will the saga between Vlad and Clara end?! Will they ever rekindle their romance? They'll find out soon.

"I can't believe they made up over a kid's meal toy…"

"I told you it was an absurd series. But there were so many sick burns in this finale. It was awesomely hilarious!"

Lana turns off her phone. Both Lana and Lucy take a moment to process what they just watched and laugh.

* * *

"You know Lucy, you're pretty cool." Lana compliments

"Thanks, Lana."

"Before I go, I have to apologize for something…"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I'm sorry for using your bust of Edwin as a butt scratcher. Next time, I'll just use the calamine lotion that we have in the bathroom…not that I'd need it, since I'm a ghost now."

"Thanks Lana. I can't wait until more episodes of The Immortal and The Restless are produced, but until then, I can still continue to watch Vampires of Melancholia. I want to see how that ends, too."

"Alright Luce, you sure brightened up my day." Lana affirms

"It was nice to hang out with you."

"Same, but you probably have something to do, so I'll be somewhere else in the Loud house. Until then…"

Lana vanishes while Lucy reflects on the wonderful time they had together tonight. It seems everyone is getting along so well! Lincoln has gotten so much love and attention, maybe it's time for him to get even more…

* * *

 **Author's Note: Yes, I made a Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy 42 reference. Back to the story though, isn't it cool that Lucy got her own room just like Lincoln did? In the show, Lana and Lucy have a neutral to negative relationship, not the worst of Lucy's sibling relationships (that would be Lola and Lucy. I mean, she turned Edwin into a Twilight reject!), but not a very good one either. At least Lana is trying to make an effort to be nicer to her. They even bonded by mocking The Immortal and The Restless! Maybe these 2 have more in common than they think.**


	47. Love's Replacement

**Chapter Synopsis: The Loud siblings hang out with Lily**

* * *

It's a blustery winter day when Lily decides to play with Lincoln. The exact date is November 12, 2017. Lily crawls over to Lincoln's room. Lincoln notices Lily and interacts with her.

"Lily, do you want to play with me?" Lincoln asks

[Lily nods her head while looking as adorable as ever]

"Ok, how about chess? I know you're good at that. I won't use any advanced openers or endgames. How about it, Lily?"

"Poo-poo."

"I'll take that as a yes."

Lincoln takes out a chessboard and sets up all the pieces. Lincoln plays white, while Lily plays black.

"Pawn to C4"

"Pon too E5"

"An inverted Sicilian Defense? Interesting…" Lincoln comments

"Pawn to D4"

"Pon capchures pon at D4"

"Pawn to H4"

"Pon too G6"

"Pawn to G3"

"Pon too D5"

"Bishop to H3"

"Bichop capchures bichop at H3"

"Knight captures bishop at H3"

"Night two D7"

"Pawn captures pawn at D5"

"Night two F6"

"Queen captures pawn at D4"

"Night capchures pon at D5"

"Queen captures knight at D5"

"Pon too B5"

"Queen sacrifice at D7, knight captured"

"Glean capchures glean at D7"

"Bishop to C3"

"Cook two B8"

"Knight to G5"

"Bichop two C6"

"Knight captures pawn at F7"

"Glean capchures night at F7"

"Knight to C3"

"Pon too B3"

"Pawn captures pawn at B3"

"Cook capchures pon at B3"

"Rook captures pawn at A7"

"Cook capchures night at C3"

"Rook sacrifice at C7, pawn captured"

"Cook capchures Bichop at E3"

"Rook captures queen at F7"

"Kin capchures cook at F7"

"Pawn captures rook at E3"

"Bichop captures pon at G3"

"Rook to H3"

"Bichop capchures kin at E1"

Lincoln is shocked! Even his baby sister beat him in chess! But…he WAS going easy on her. She might be a chess prodigy just like her big brother! She did beat someone in chess by complete luck when Lincoln took her to the park that one day. Lincoln congratulates Lily on her win.

"Yay! I win! Checkmate! That was fun, tanks Inkin!" Lily says exuberantly

* * *

Lori enters Lincoln's room and picks up Lily. Lincoln asks her what she's doing.

"Lori, where are you taking Lily?"

"Downstairs. A rerun of the finale of "The Dream Boat" is on. Bobby watched it when it first premiered and spoiled the ending for me…" Lori recalls, annoyed "But even though I know who wins, I still want to watch the episode to see how it all plays out."

"Eh, honestly I don't care who wins at this point. Both Brock and Bryant are amazing choices for Karen. I'm just glad they finally sent Blaine overboard."

Lincoln recalls watching the penultimate episode with his sisters…that episode caused a huge argument, but at least most of the sisters agreed with him that it was a good thing Blaine was finally eliminated.

"All right, Karen. We are down to the final 3…who do you want to preserve and which one of these 3 gentlemen will be…man overboard?" The host asked the beautiful bachelorette

"The first one I want to preserve is…Bryant." Karen stated

"Yes! I knew she'd pick him!" Leni commented

"Come on, dudette! Remember the time Brock serenaded you on his dinghy date?" Luna pleaded

"Sorry Luna, but she's going to pick Blaine. What lady wouldn't be attracted to those bulging triceps?!" Lynn Jr asserted "Brock put up a good fight, I'll admit, but It's over."

"Oh please, she's not shallow enough to pick Blaine!" Lincoln commented "She's going to pick Brock!"

"Yeah, remember when Blaine wore sandals to his dinghy date?" Lola enquired "He's not even trying to win her affection!"

The Loud siblings focus their attention back to the TV.

"Ok, and who is the other gentleman you want to preserve?"

"I…choose…Brock!"

 **"YES!"** Everyone except Lynn cheered

 **"NO!"** Lynn shrieked out

"I'm sorry, Blaine, but it looks like you get the anchor, you are the next man overboard!" The host announced

The host gives Blaine the anchor and sends him overboard.

"Well, tune in 2 weeks from now for the thrilling conclusion! Who will Karen pick? Find out as we dock at our final destination on "The Dream Boat!"

"Ha, told you sis!" Luna bragged "Brock's sweet jams are more appealing than Blaine's strength any day!"

"But he can bench 320 pounds!" Lynn tried to argue

"Sorry Lynn, but it's physically impossible to look like that. Not even professional wrestlers look like Blaine! He has definitely taken some steroids!" Lincoln announced

"Oh well, at least Blaine's gone." Lori said "I was so angry that Karen chose him over Bronson, but at least this makes up for it."

"Yeah, Blaine doesn't deserve her!" Lucy stated

"Agreed, Karen would be most compatible with Bryant! His attempts at romance are saccharine enough to give me diabetes, but his heart is in the right place and that is what Karen will appreciate the most." Lisa deduced

"No way, Brock is totally going to woo her with a magnum opus composition he dedicated just for her!" Lana declared

They all stare at her…

"What, he'd totally do that, right? Luna, back me up on this!"

"The little dudette is right, Brock would make a composition to serenade her." Luna replied

"I think Karen's going to pick Bryant." Luan utters "Something about his klutzy personality makes him all the more endearing, don't you think, Lily?"

[Lily babbles incoherently, but Luan was able to translate it.]

"Oh, you think Brock's going to win? Well, it really doesn't matter, does it? Both of them are well suited for her, don't you all agree?"

"Yes!" all of the Loud siblings shouted

Lincoln snaps out of his reminiscence to see that Lori has already taken Lily downstairs to watch the finale of "The Dream Boat".

"Welcome to the finale of "The Dream Boat". We are down to 2 contests left. Which one of them will Karen choose to be her first mate? Will it be Bryant? Or will it be Brock? As the currents of love carry us to our final destination, we are all waiting in anticipation, who will she choose?" The host announces

1 hour later…

"O…M…Gosh, I can't believe how tense that finale was! Don't you agree, Lily?" Lori asks

"Caren's first mait is greight! I wuv her choice!" Lily says

* * *

Leni arrives downstairs to show Lily her fashion magazines. These magazines have been updated with all the latest trends.

"Lori, can I borrow Lily? I want to show her my fashion magazines." Leni questions

"Sure, why not?"

Leni takes Lily to her room and places her on her bed. Leni sits next to her.

"Ok Lily, which of these articles of clothing looks the most appealing?"

[Lily points to a blue dress]

"You like that one? You share the same opinion as me then, right? You think the other dresses are superficial in their design. You prefer practicality over style. I do, too! But just because it's functional, doesn't mean it can't be fashionable, don't you agree?" Leni deduces

[Lily nods her head in agreement, Leni smiles at Lily's acknowledgement]

"Thanks for your input, Lily. It is greatly appreciated."

Leni goes over to the performers' room and gives Lily to Luan. Luna talks to Luan.

* * *

"Hey sis, do you think Lily can play some tunes with me?"

"I don't know…last time, you tried to stage dive on her…"

Luna feels guilty. Luan continues thinking about whether or not she should trust her with Lily.

"You promise not to go too crazy and try to stage dive on her again?" Luan asks

"You have my word, sis."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Ok, I trust you. Don't make me or Lily regret it." Luan cautioned, as she hands Lily over to Luna

"Hey Lily." Luna begins to say "Can you make music along with me?"

Lily nods. Luna gives her a pair of drumsticks. Lily starts beating on Luna's drum set, while Luna shreds some notes on her electric guitar. Honestly, it sounded abysmal, but both Lily and Luna had fun, so that's all that matters.

"Thanks for a great jam session, Lily." Luna admits, as she hands her back to Luan

"Hey Lilster, what do you call a squirrel's heist? A nut job, get it?" Luan jokes

"Gud one, Luan! That was an a-maize-ing joke!" Lily complements

Luan is taken by surprise about something…

"Lily, say that again?"

"Luan, didn't u ear me? I wuved yore joke!" Lily responds

"Lily!" Luan said, tearing up "You said my name! You said "Luan"! I'm so proud of you, Lily! I've got to tell mom and dad about this!"

* * *

Luan takes Lily and goes into Lucy's room.

"Hey Luce, can you watch Lily for me. I've got to go tell mom and dad something."

"Sigh, whatever. Do what you need to do, Luan." Lucy said in her usual apathetic tone

Luan rushes downstairs to tell their parents the good news. Lily messes around with Lucy's tarot deck.

"Oh, you want me to read your fortune, Lily?" Lucy asks

Lucy takes out the deck of cards, holds them to a lit candle to dispel any residual energy from when she read Lana's fortune and draws 3 cards, she turns over all 3 cards.

Lily, it seems that everyone will love you, in the past, in the present and in the future.

The cards are shown to be a queen of cups, a king of cups and the lovers.

"Lucille?" Lola said eloquently "May I borrow lady Lillian for a spot of tea?"

"Why are you talking like that, Lola?" Lucy asks, slightly annoyed and dumfounded

"I cognicized that we should speak the Queen's English on morrow's yesterday. That day is today, my dear Lucille." Lola states

"Ok, now you're just making up words to sound ostentatious." Lucy avers to her "Do you have HPD?"

"I assure you good madam, I do not have histrionic personality disorder. I'm speaking this way as a self-imposed challenge to myself, not as a, as those lowbrow commoners assert in a display of vulgarity, an attention whore." Lola summarized to her "Now, may I borrow lady Lillian?"

"Sure, if it will get you to stop talking like that!" Lucy states, slightly angry at how far she's going with this challenge

* * *

Lola takes Lily to back to her room. Lily wants to play with Lana's pets, but Lola yanks her away!

"No, Lillian. Those creatures are dangerous and must be handled with proper care. Unless you are a tamer, like our dear sister, Lana, used to be, you can't pet them. You want all of your extraneous digits to still be attached to your person." Lola says, worrying for their baby sister's safety "Let us commence with the tea party!"

Lola lays out a tea set and pours out some tea for both her and Lily, it's chamomile.

"You know, Lillian. In the monarchy, this is also considered a social gathering, a place where one could talk about the events of their daily grind, similar to their former enemy, turned ally's, feminine counterpart, the salon. But the British tea time is egalitarian, both males and females can integrate into these gatherings. I'm sure our father would love to be a part of a genuine one. He is an anglophile, after all. No doubt the country left an imprint on him during his studies abroad, though it only lasted one college semester. He loves the Kingdom more than his own country! That treasonous man might be incarcerated if our government found out! Enough about praising the Queen's work, let us get back to our social arrangement. So, as is customary, how was your day, lady Lillian?" Lola elucidates

[Lola babbles something to Lola]

"Indubitably, dear Lillian. Your day sounds like it was filled with merriment, as was mine. I so enjoy talking with you, sister. But I suppose you are going to help that heathen next. That unethical scientist who wants nothing more to use you as a living test tube. I say, good luck to you, Lillian. And please…stay safe." Lola pleads

Lily crawls over to the room across from Lola and Lana's and meets up with her roommate. All Lisa does is put Lily back in her crib. She dotes on her.

"You must have had a busy day, Lily. I know what you were trying to do, you wanted to show Lincoln love. The love Lynn never gave him, didn't you? We all appreciate what you're trying to do, but it won't snap Lincoln out of his heartbreak. The only two ways that will happen is if he accepts it and moves on, or if Lynn reconciles with him. Aside from that though, I just wanted to say…"

"I love you, Lily."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Lincoln comments on how the opening is a reverse Sicilian Defense. A Sicilian Defense in chess is when white moves their pawn to E4, and black moves their pawn to C5. In Lily and Lincoln's match, Lily moves to C4, while Lincoln moves to E5, an inversion of the normal opening. Here is a breakdown of each sibling's vote on who Karen should pick on the finale of The Dream Boat.**

 **Lily: Brock  
** **Lisa: Bryant  
** **Lola: Bryant  
** **Lana: Brock  
** **Lucy: Brock  
** **Lincoln: Brock  
** **Lynn: Abstained, she wanted Blaine to win, and she's too angry to choose one of the remaining contestants  
** **Luan: Bryant  
** **Luna: Brock  
** **Leni: Bryant  
** **Lori: Bryant**

 **If you're annoyed by Lola speaking in flowery Elizabethan English, you're not alone. Lola is annoyed by Lola speaking like that too, since it annoys everyone, including her. The only reason why she doesn't stop is because she's already done this for a few hours and she wants to complete her self-imposed challenge, it's a pride thing. She does manage to succeed in her endeavor, and she promised to the other siblings she would never do something like that again. The voice was really grating on everyone's nerves. This whole chapter is a reverse of the episode "Changing The Baby". In that episode, everyone wants to play with Lily, in this chapter, Lily wants to play with everyone. There are even allusions to the episode, like how most of the activities played were the ones that the siblings wanted to play with Lily in the original episode. Luan even brings up the part of the episode where Luna tried to stage dive on Lily (which would have failed for several reasons). This is why Luan doesn't trust Luna with Lily, she's afraid Luna might accidently hurt her! In the original draft, Lincoln was going to do all the activities in that episode in this chapter (playing video games with her, watching science fiction movies with her, reading comic books to her, teaching her numistmatism (coin collecting), eating peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwiches together (though in Lily's case, it was drinking a blended form of it) and even going to the arcade, park and mall with her)! It was cut because it felt like unnecessary padding. We also swapped Lisa's role from being uncaring to doting in this chapter. Considering that she was going to electrocute Lily for one of her experiments, this was probably a good idea. Oh, and this is probably an unimportant detail, but Lily did take her precious lilac blankie with her when hanging out all the siblings. They all know how much it means to her.**


	48. Grand Designs

**Chapter Synopsis: Leni and Lincoln design clothes together**

* * *

It's December 22, 2017. We see Lincoln just chilling out on this icy winter day by engaging in his favorite pastime, reading comic books. He was just about to finish it, when Leni knocks on his door.

"Hey Linky, can you help me with something?"

"Sure Leni, what do you need?"

Lincoln gets up from his bed and follows Leni to her and Lori's room.

"I don't know about this, Leni. Lori might get angry at me again and kick me out!" Lincoln states

"Don't worry about it, Lincoln. I've already notified Lori that I invited you over to our room." Leni reassures

Leni enters the super long security password and enters her shared room with Lincoln. They sit down next to Leni's sewing machine. A bunch of textiles adorn the workspace. Lori observes the two siblings from her side of the room.

"Ok Lincoln. Today, we're going to fabricate clothes together! It will allow me to gauge your expertise at design and we'll bond over the experience!" Leni squeals in delight

* * *

Lincoln starts to make a suit, while Leni makes a dress.

Leni takes a seafoam green fabric and makes the neckline and collar extensions, as well as the waist hemline at the bottom of the skirt, similar to the dress she already wears all the time. Next, she takes an ultra-pink tinted shade of magenta, and forms the top from it. Leni finishes the garment by sewing everything together.

Lincoln takes an orange fabric and begins to form the basic outline of the suit. He folds the fabric so that the seams are in a single-breasted design. He then stitches 3 dark blue buttons onto the outline. He forms a notched lapel onto the suit by folding the fabric into a pocketlike outline and then sewing it, he even made the design extra fancy by adding a boutonnière! He sews 2 outer patch pockets and 4 inner jetted flap pockets. Next, the buttons on the left sleeve are cyan and seafoam green, while the right has kelly green and white. Lincoln then makes the corresponding dress pants. He finishes it by adding an ultra-pink cravat and a yellow flower to go onto the boutonnière.

"Wow amazing job, Lincoln! Maybe you could be a tailor when you grow up!" Leni compliments

"Thanks, Leni! Your dress is well designed, too!" Lincoln retorts

"Great, you can model your creation, while I have my model wear my design. I already set up a place where we can do that. It's in the living room." Leni chimes back

* * *

Lincoln and Leni head down to the living room, where a small mock runway has been constructed. All of the Loud siblings are eagerly awaiting the fashion show. Lincoln is already wearing his rainbow suit, while Leni is trying to get her model to wear the dress. The model was able to put the dress on, seeing as it was custom tailored to her. Leni grabs Luan's microphone and begins to announce the clothes like she's seen on many fashion competition shows before. Leni's design is up first.

"And here is another Leni Loud original dress. It was made from a cotton-polyester blend, while the neckline, waistline and collar are made from 100% cotton. Those ultra-pink highlights really make it pop out, it's sure to attract attention!"

The model, who's revealed to be Lola, starts grandstanding on the runway instead of showing off the article of clothing. Once Lola walks back, the family cheers on how well the design was executed.

"Next up, an original Loud design. Here is Lincoln, modeling a brand new, custom made suit. As you can see, this paradoxical design is made for both formal events and casual strolls. The variety of colors Mr. Loud has used will make it a focal point in any social gathering. The lapel and 6 coat pockets make it a veritable Swiss army knife, holding anything from table napkins to sticky notes. And of course, who could ignore that blindingly debonair ultra-pink cravat?! He looks like he's about to confront a liar with the undeniable truth!"

Lincoln receives massive cheers and a rousing applause!

* * *

After the fashion show, Lincoln begins to head back to his room after having a great day designing clothes with his fashionista sister, when Luna stops him.

"Hey bro, I noticed that of all the colors on the suit corresponded to us, but I didn't see any purple…did you…forget about me?" Luna asks dejectedly

"Of course, I wouldn't forget my rocking sister, Luna Loud!" Lincoln assures her

"Then where did you use the color purple on your suit?" Luna shoots back

"Easy, it's the color of the lining inside the suit, which also has black highlights to represent Lucy, see?"

Lincoln rolls up his right sleeve, showing a purple colored material inside.

"Oh wow, thanks Linc!" Luna replies happily as she left; Luan approaches Lincoln next

"Hey Linc, you sure look attractive in that suit!" Luan complements

"Thanks, hey Luan, can you look at the flower on my suit?" Lincoln asks

"Sure, Lincoln!"

Luan looks at the flower. Lincoln has a hidden switch in one of his jacket pockets. He triggers it. The flower squirts water in Luan's face.

"I was taught by the best." Lincoln asserts confidently

"Nice one, but I'm going to have to get you back for that!" Luan warns, as she walks away, chuckling

Lincoln reenters his room, takes off his custom-tailored suit that he made himself, and wears his signature orange shirt again. Lincoln reflects on the amazing day he had with their second oldest sibling.

"Thanks for the amazing day today, Leni. I'd be happy to hang out with you anytime…"


	49. Ionic Bonding

**Chapter Synopsis: Lisa tries to make amends with Lincoln**

* * *

Ah, January 1st…a time to start over. Lisa's new year's resolution is the same one every year, to invent something to benefit society. She's already applied for patents for her VWDS, her adhesive solution, and her AU wristwatch (though this also means she has an invention that allows her to enter dreams and take items from said dreams into the real world, a terrifying thought). All throughout her lab are many more inventions that are still being built, or are in the beta phase and need to be tested, though Lisa knows that a human won't willingly subjugate themselves to a possible unethical experiment, but how would anyone know if it's unethical if no tests are performed? Quite a paradox, isn't it? She's just about to finish building yet another invention when someone knocks on the door.

"Lis? Can I talk to you?" Says a familiar male voice

Lisa lets out an exasperated sigh of annoyance. How dare he interrupt this groundbreaking work? This has the potential to make the world a better place, and he wants to stop that for some idle chitchat?! "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." He's watched Star Trek before, so he should understand the weight those words carry. Lisa isn't a fascist, but she does agree with that statement. Realizing that he won't leave, Lisa eventually relents and grants him permission to enter her bedroom/laboratory.

"Ugh, enter, elder brother, I know it's you…" Lisa says apathetically

Lincoln enters Lisa's room, he surveys the lab.

"Hey, these inventions are pretty cool, how would they benefit humankind?" Lincoln asks with sincerity

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Lisa retorts in a combative tone

"Lisa, why are you acting like this?"

"You know why."

"Is it because of La- " Lincoln begins to deduce

 **"DON'T SPEAK HER NAME!"** Lisa shouts at him, grabbing the AV incapacitator

"Woah, take it easy there, Lis! Think about what you're doing…" Lincoln attempts to reason

 **"GET OUT!"**

Lincoln flees for his life. Lisa takes a moment to regain her composure. She grabs a photo of the Loud family and speaks to it.

* * *

Lana, there is nothing redeeming about Lincoln. He's an ignoramus loser that only reads comic books and plays video games all day. So why… why did you martyr yourself for him?! You're much more valuable to this family than he ever was, both objectively and emotionally!

Lisa feels an icy sensation on her cheek. Upon closer inspection, there's a red slap mark on it. Lisa hears a familiar voice.

"Lincoln wants to be your friend, why won't you let him?"

"Because Lynn was right, he killed you."

"Are you believing her delusions? Does she really have you convinced, or are you just afraid of the truth?"

"I…" Lisa begins to construct a response; The voice interrupts her

"Please. Lincoln, Lola, and I have made our family appreciate the only brother we have. Don't you appreciate him, too, Lisa? Are you really going to be just like Lynn?"

"No, I'm not like her…"

"Then please, make amends with him. Do it for me?"

"For you, Lana…" Lisa responds

"He needs you, and you need him; A mutualistic relationship, do you remember what that is?" Lana questioned

"Mutualism-an interaction between two specie that benefits both of them in some way." Lisa defines, Lana nods her head in approval

"Repair the relationship with our brother, and finally, the goal we've worked so hard for will finally be achieved. Our family will be whole again, I owe it to Lincoln and Lola for kickstarting this project. Without them, I wouldn't have had enough bravery to stand up to my family." Lana explains

Lisa, thanks to Lana's persistence, finally realizes her mistake. She goes to Lincoln's room and knocks on the door.

* * *

"Elder brother? Are you there? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have falsely accused you of killing Lana. It's just that…I couldn't understand why our amazingly talented sister sacrifice herself for you."

Lincoln opens his door and looks at Lisa, he continues to listen to her.

"Maybe it was because of sycophancy? She flatters your admittedly short list accomplishments because she aspires to be like you, Lincoln. Maybe you inspired her with your bravery of dealing with all of the problems in the Loud house and she wanted to follow in your footsteps. She is probably attracted to the way you solve problems through pacifism instead of violence." Lisa reasons

Lincoln counters with his own deduction.

"No, I know the truth. It wasn't because she was a sycophant. It was because of loyalty. She was devoted to our family and wanted to repair our frayed connections. She knew if there were more disagreements between us, those bonds would have been lost forever. But most importantly, she was devoted to me. After the sister event armageddon, she realized that no one sees me as their brother, and just as a lucky charm after Lynn carried her team to the baseball finals. She cared about ME and not some superficial superstition that Lynn stigmatized onto me." Lincoln theorizes

Lisa is brought to tears after hearing Lincoln's speech. All we can hear is inelegant blubbering. Lisa wipes the tears from her eyes and calms down.

"That was beautiful…" Lisa said, letting her stoic façade crumble "Lana really is the best sister ever. She saw the potential in you, even when none of us could. Lincoln, please, give me another chance! I know I don't deserve it, but I want to change for the better!" Lisa grovels to him

"I'll give you another chance. I forgive you." Lincoln utters

* * *

Lincoln kneels down and hugs Lisa. Lisa tries to hug him back, but she can only reach his leg. She is 4, after all. Lincoln and Lisa head back to Lisa's room/lab and Lisa asks Lincoln a question.

"I know you've helped me with my experiments in the past. So, do you know how to induce thermonuclear fusion?"

"Uh, no… I don't want to blow up the house and irradiate everything within a 250-mile radius." Lincoln quips cynically

"Fair enough." Lisa replies back; She glance at the clock "Oh, it's almost lunchtime. Lincoln? Can you make me a PB&J?"

"Sure Lis."

The two of them head into the kitchen. Lincoln makes the sandwich while Lisa loiters idly, but coolly. Lincoln finishes the sandwich about 2 minutes later.

"Ok Lisa, here is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with 88% smooth peanut butter, 12% raspberry jelly, all of the crusts cut off and sliced into 45°-45°-90° right isosceles triangles for an optimum sandwich mass to mouth volume ratio, made precisely to your rigid specifications." Lincoln states as he hands the sandwich to Lisa. She devours it.

"Thanks Lincoln, you made with 100% accuracy this time! I commend you for this achievement, now what do you say we head back to the lab and experiment?"

"Lead the way."

They head back to the lab. Lisa has already set up 2 test tubes, one filled with a clear liquid, the other with a yellow solid.

* * *

"You know, I've been thinking…Lincoln, you're like the element hydrogen, being able to bond with everyone you meet, either positively or negatively, just like how hydrogen is able to bond with every other element in existence." Lisa says as she dons gloves and carefully picks up the clear liquid with a pair of tongs.

"Lisa, should we be worried?" Lincoln asks nervously

"Well, this is liquid hydrogen, so the liquid inside is about 20.28 K, or -423.17°F in layman's terms. So as soon as I pull the stopper, it will evaporate back into a gas within a matter of seconds." Lisa explains

"Great, and if I'm hydrogen, then you must be sulfur! Think about it, you're very quick to anger, just like how if you burn sulfur, it turns blood red. But you're needed to make sure the Loud house can run efficiently. Just like how sulfur is needed for most bioorganic functions." Lincoln clarifies

"You are giving me too much credit, elder brother. But that would mean our bond would be H2S." Lisa says to him, as she combines both of the elements. They react and form a repugnant, pungent gas that smells like death. "Dihydrogen sulfide, a highly unstable gas that's toxic, caustic and incendiary!"

"Oh, no wonder we don't react well with each other." Lincoln says, slightly dejected "Luckily, this hydrogen molecule prefers to bond with less destructive elements." He boasted, probably forgetting the metaphor "But…If it's absolutely necessary, I can react with you to form dihydrogen sulfide." Lincoln admits with finality

Lincoln makes like his associated element and diffuses back to his room, thus defusing the dihydrogen sulfide bond and leaving Lisa to continue on with her important work.

You know, underneath all the chemistry metaphors, Lincoln does want to bond with everyone in his family. Sure, he already has bonded with all of them, but I mean, he wants those bonds to be as strong as possible. Nothing is more important to Lincoln than family…

* * *

 **Author's Note: Here is the elements the siblings would be associated with in Lisa's chemistry analogy.**

 **Lily: Radon-Element #86: A radioactive noble gas. The only sibling to have a radioactive element, Lily is associated with radon because...well, in the show, her diapers are toxic. Lincoln even said that they can make grown men cry! In the episode "2 Boys And A Baby", Clyde even says that Lily's diapers are "practically radioactive"! Ironically, even though Lily bonds with everyone in the show, her element cannot, because it's a noble gas, and noble gases don't form compounds since they already have a stable electron configuration!  
** **Lisa: Sulfur-Element #16: A pale yellow solid polyatomic nonmetal. It is essential for many bioorganic processes and turns red if you burn it. Lisa is abrasive, caustic and cynical, so this element would be perfect for her.  
** **Lola: Aluminum-Element #13: A silvery post-transition metal. It's dense and corrosion resistant. In the 1800's, aluminum was the standard rare metal instead of gold because the process to mass produce aluminum hadn't existed yet. Lola is a multitalented Loud, if you can't already tell by her numerous pageant wins, just like how aluminum and aluminum based alloys are used in almost everything today! She thinks she's a queen when she's really a commoner, which references how aluminum used to be as rare as gold, but is now extremely common.  
** **Lana: Cobalt-Element #27: A bluish-gray transition metal. It is used to make strong magnetic alloys and used to produce a blue pigment. It also provides vitamin B12, which makes the brain and nervous system function properly and aids in the production of red blood cells. Lana's color is blue, so it would make a lot of sense for her to get a blue element.  
** **Lucy: Carbon-Element #6: A solid grey polyatomic nonmetal. It's everywhere on Earth. Lucy, by comparison, appears everywhere in the Loud house, jumpscaring her siblings when they least expect it. Honestly, Lucy is only associated with this element because it is the closest to a black colored element we have.  
** **Lincoln: Hydrogen-Element #1: A gaseous diatomic nonmetal. It bonds with almost every other element. It should be obvious why Lincoln is associated with hydrogen.  
** **Lynn: Mercury-Element #80: A heavy silver transition metal. This element is highly toxic. Lynn beats up her siblings under the pretext of contact sports games. This sister, just like this element, is one you do not want to be around!  
** **Luan: Nitrogen-Element #7: A gaseous diatomic nonmetal. The most common gas in Earth's atmosphere. It is known to asphyxiate people. Luan can appear anywhere, but is usually pretty friendly. Unless she tells a bad joke, then you might laugh yourself to death. Luckily her jokes are kind of bad (but there are some that are so bad that they're good) so you dying from laughter induced asphyxiation will most likely never happen.  
** **Luna: Iodine-Element #53: A metallic gray diatomic nonmetal. In its gaseous form, it is a violet colored mist. In biology, it is needed to regulate the thyroid. Like in Lucy's case, Luna is only associated with this element because it is purple in gaseous form.  
** **Leni: Oxygen-Element #8: A gaseous diatomic nonmetal. It binds with almost every other element. Leni is the nicest character in the show and almost all of the siblings like her.  
** **Lori: Chlorine-Element #17: A pale yellow gaseous diatomic nonmetal. It is also a toxic irritant used to make cleaning supplies, most notably, bleach. Lori is a caustic sibling that can blow up at you at the slightest provocation. However, she is needed to keep the Loud house in order, as the episode "No Guts, No Glori" showed us.**

* * *

 **And here is every dual relationship between the siblings and their associated chemical compounds. We are not doing more than 2 siblings at a time otherwise we'd be here for a while. And I'm going to be making hypothetical compounds for Lily, since she has bonds with her siblings. Somewhere on Earth, a chemist is crying and tearing their hair out while saying "No, you fucking idiot, radon is a noble gas, it can't form compounds because it's already stable!" With that, here is the long list of compounds.**

 **Lily-Lisa: Radonic Sulfide (RdS2-): Super dangerous hypothetical compound. Radon is already radioactive, so adding a caustic, flammable and toxic element like sulfur is asking for trouble! Luckily, radon only has a half-life of about 4 days (3.8 if you want to get specific) so it wouldn't last for long. Still, scientists wouldn't want to fuse these two together.**

 **Lily-Lola: Radonic Aluminum (RdAl3+): Dangerous because it looks exactly like normal aluminum, but slightly irradiated. It has less radioactivity than normal radon, but after the uranium experiments in the '60s, science doesn't want to test the applications of radiation soaked appliances again. Radiation poisoning might happen again, just like last time!**

 **Lily-Lana: Radonic Cobalide (RdCo2+): Not to be confused with the highly unstable Radonic Carbodioxide (RdCO22, Co2 repeated twice, and NOT 22 oxygen atoms). This is a rare not radioactive compound. Scientists are still researching why this is. Radonic Cobalide is a beautiful bluish-green solid. It is coveted by artists because of how pretty and practical it is. It can be crushed into a blue-green pigment, just like cobalt! It can also be sold for a lot of money.**

 **Lily-Lucy: Radonic Carbide (RdC4+): It is a nonradioactive silvery metal. It is often confused for the super dangerous radioactive element #92, uranium, so finding radonic carbide is like looking for a needle in a haystack, as it's found where uranium is commonly found.**

 **Lily-Lincoln: Radonic Hydrogen (RdH): Can be split into 2 different compounds. Radonic hydride (RdH-) is the more uncommon of the 2. Radonic Hydride is a pyrophoric compound, similar to organolithiums, like tert-butyllithium. It bursts into flames when it reacts with air, so the only confirmed existence of radonic hydride is by scientists who synthesized it in a lab. Radonic hydron (RdH+) is the more common compound and is completely harmless, if not slightly odoriferous. Radonic hydron is a purified form of methane (CH4+), but that was only found because researchers noted that Radonic hydron has a similar odor to flatulence.**

 **Lily-Lynn: Radonic Mercuron (RdHg+): Too deadly for scientists to touch. It has been banned as use for a chemical weapon and is labeled as a weapon of mass destruction by the Geneva Conventions. Extremely rare, extremely unstable as well as being a contagious form of radiation poisoning. This compound is too dangerous for mankind to handle, not that that will deter them, of course.**

 **Lily-Luan: Radonic Nitride (RdN3-): A paradoxical gaseous compound. Breathing radonic nitride has similar effects to breathing Nitric Oxide (NO). The stuff all life on Earth breathes. Nitrogen can apparently neutralize and immediately render radon non-radioactive! It's strange because breathing normal radon will kill you with the radiation poisoning, but inhaling radonic nitride is perfectly safe! Scientists are baffled as to why this is.**

 **Lily-Luna: Radonic Iodide (RdI-): A non-toxic green-purple gas. It's used similarly to how different ions can change fireworks' colors, only this stuff is used to change normal clear gas into a purplish-green mist. Popular with special effects artists, it can also be combined with ferric thiocyanate ((FE3SCN3-)2, SCN repeated 3 times, then the whole compound is repeated twice) to create a lavender-orange colored alien blood.**

 **Lily-Leni: Radonic Monoxide (RdO-): An extremely rare asphyxiant compound. It also causes hallucinations of extreme ecstasy and hallucinations of extreme niceness. Ex: Having a stranger have happiness pellets come out of him, when in reality, he was holding you up at gunpoint and he just shot you to death. As for the asphyxiation, it takes 3 minutes to die from this lethal compound.**

 **Lily-Lori: Radonic Chloride (RdCl-): Banned by the Geneva Conventions, this sickly looking greenish-yellow gas has similar effects to sulfur mustard (C4H8Cl2S). It's not as severe as sulfur mustard, but it's just as painful. Good news, it's extremely rare and extremely hard to form! Bad news, because of this, people could just use mustard gas in its place. Sure, it's banned, but do you really think that will stop people from using it? No, it won't.**

 **Lisa-Lola: Sulfur Aluminide (S3Al2): A highly reactive white solid compound that is semi-reactive with water and will cause near major damage if exposed to it for a short time. Lisa and Lola's relationship is just as reactive as the compound associated with them. Also, if you're wondering why the compound is listed as sulfur aluminide and not aluminum sulfide, it's because Lisa is first in the pair, as such, sulfur is used as the first element.**

 **Lisa-Lana: Sulfur Cobalide (SCo): A hypothetical compound formed when sulfur mixes with cobalt. Like cobalt, when crushed, it forms a blue pigment. But with the addition of sulfur, it becomes green. This pigment will turn into a muddy reddish-brown if burned, because of the molten sulfur mixing with the cobalt. It has an...acquired odor. It would be rare because it is incredibly difficult to bind sulfur and cobalt together, just like getting Lisa and Lana to get along, since they're total opposites. However, if both of them join forces, then they'd be able to make so many creative things, both the compound and the sibling pair.**

 **Lisa-Lucy: Disulfur Carbide (S2C): A hypothetical compound, and one that was thought to be impossible to form. Carbon and sulfur shouldn't be able to mix, seeing as both are solid polyatomic nonmetals. But somehow, science has found a way to do so. Not much about this compound is known, since scientists are still researching it. A cryptic compound for the most enigmatic Loud House sibling pair.**

 **Lisa-Lincoln: Sulfur Dihydride (SH2-): A triple threat in gaseous form! This gas is poisonous, corrosive and flammable! The scary thing is that since hydrogen is involved, it's super easy to form. All you need is the sulfur. Luckily, Lisa and Lincoln really don't interact much in the show, so this volatile compound is dormant, for now...**

 **Lisa-Lynn: Sulfur Mercuride (SHg): A rare hypothetical compound to form, but a super deadly one! Sulfur is dangerous, mercury is toxic. Mix them both and it's a recipe for disaster. This compound is super hard to form. Just like getting Lynn and Lisa to work together, this compound can prove disastrous if not handled with care!**

 **Lisa-Luan: Trisulfur Dinitride (S3N2): This hypothetical compound is extremely rare. So rare, that you'd be more likely to find element #85, astatine on Earth! For reference, pure astatine only has about a tablespoon of it formed on the entire Earth per year! The reason it's so rare is because this compound needs pure nitrogen. Nitrogen is so reactive it would turn into nitric oxide (NO) or nitrogen trihydride (NH3+), street name: ammonia. Lisa and Luna being together is equally as rare. But in this world of hypotheticals, that experience is sure to be magical.**

 **Lisa-Luna: Sulfur Triiodide (SI3): A hypothetical compound between sulfur and iodine. This one is unique because it has a negative-negative charge instead of a positive-negative or negative-positive charge. This anionic charge is a -5! This negative relationship is also exemplified in the episode "Room With A Feud", where Luna does whatever the hell she wants to, without listening to Lisa's instructions. An interesting note is that iodine is super easy to sublimate (change from solid to gas).**

 **Lisa-Leni: Sulfur Dioxide (SO2): A toxic gaseous compound. Even though it has its uses in many things, it is still a deadly chemical. In the show, Lisa and Leni are complete opposites. One is a lovable dunce and the other is a cynical genius. If they could just stop the rancor flowing in from both sides, they can do some pretty amazing things together.**

 **Lisa-Lori: Sulfur Dichloride (SCl2): Another hypothetical minus-minus compound. Sulfur dichloride has an anionic charge of -4. This one is rare when compared to sulfur triiodide. Lisa and Lori don't interact that much, but when they do, they usually are on opposing sides.**

 **Lola-Lana: Dialuminum Tricobalide (Al2Co3): A hypothetical, extremely rare metallic compound made from aluminum and cobalt. This is the only plus-plus compound having a mind blowing +12 charge! Because of this, the bond is strong, yet extremely unstable! Just like Lola and Lana, they're polar opposites and have major fights throughout the show, but their bond is one of the strongest in the series, as shown in the episode "Patching Things Up". Interesting note about this compound, in some cultures, having this metal is thought to boost fertility, as well as sex drive in females, but this was quickly disproven by science.**

 **Lola-Lucy: Trialuminum Dicarbide (Al3C2): A hard to form compound made from aluminum and carbon. It's so rare that scientists have rarely seen it, as it's usually combined with something else to make a really complex compound! Seeing Lola and Lucy on good terms is about as rare as seeing this exact compound without it being combined with something else**

 **Lola-Lincoln: Aluminum Trihydride (AlH3): A chemical so rare it's only been synthesized in research laboratories. Lola and Lincoln almost never work together, and when they interact, Lola usually wins. It's also pyrophoric, seems fitting with Lola's conflict with Lincoln, as well as Lola's personality in general.**

 **Lola-Lynn: Dialuminum Trimercuride (Al2Hg3): Deadly hypothetical compound, but decently hard to form. Lola and Lynn rarely interact, but when they do, they usually play off each other well.**

 **Lola-Luan: Aluminum Nitride (AlN): A white solid powder that is used for UV optoelectronics (it makes electronics light up with space waves). With Lola and Luan being paired up, it's sure to leave them, and us, feeling spaced out after the ordeal!**

 **Lola-Luna: Aluminum Triiodide (AlI3): A white solid powder that turns purple when it absorbs water. However, Lola and Luna don't interact that much, so there's not much to compare.**

 **Lola-Leni: Dialuminum Trioxide (Al2O3): This compound is a silver gravelly looking solid. It's commonly known as aluminum oxide. It's most notable appearance is as corundum, the element that ranks 9 on the Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness. Corundum changes color if it has impurities of other elements when it's forming. Sapphire has traces of iron, titanium, chromium, copper or magnesium, while ruby has traces of only chromium. I wonder if since sapphire can be made with chromium and ruby's only impurity is chromium, would a corundum with only chromium form a garnet? I know that garnet is a nesosilicate while corundum is an aluminum oxide, it was a Steven Universe joke. It fits Lola and Leni quite well, seeing as both love fashion and love looking beautiful, just like corundum.**

 **Lola-Lori: Aluminum Trichloride (AlCl3): Commonly known as aluminum chloride, this compound is a pale yellow solid and acts as a neurotoxin, GLADoS would be proud. Back to the Loud House, Lola and Lori are the most abrasive of the Loud sisters, so paring the two together...well it would be bad for you if you crossed their path. Just ask Bobby when they yelled at him to wear a specific shirt Lori got him in the episode "Room With A Feud".**

 **Lana-Lucy: Dicobalt Carbide (Co2C): Hypothetical compound between cobalt and carbon. It shouldn't be able to be formed. When crushed, it makes a bluish-black pigment. Lucy and Lana interacting is about as rare as this compound. But when it does, they react rather hostile toward each other.**

 **Lana-Lincoln: Cobalt Dihydride (CoH2-): Hypothetical compound between cobalt and hydrogen. It produces a soft blue metal that's cool to the touch. It's completely harmless. It also has a super strong bond. Lincoln and Lana have one of the best relationships in the show, and this compound is one of the strongest on this list to reflect that.**

 **Lana-Lynn: Cobalt Mercuride (CoHg): hypothetical compound between cobalt and mercury. It forms a metallic blue mass of poison. Lana and Lynn have a decent relationship. So, there's nothing special about this compound, aside from the mercury based toxicity.**

 **Lana-Luan: Tricobalt Dinitride (Co3N2): Hypothetical compound between cobalt and nitrogen. It forms a yellow-blue gas that is flammable, but the flammability is so high that it needs to be heated to 888 K for it to burst into flames! It's harmless otherwise. Even though Luan and Lana don't interact much in the show, I feel they have a strong bond that the creators are just holding back the episode, waiting for the right time to release it.**

 **Lana-Luna: Cobalt Diiodide (CoI2): Hypothetical compound between cobalt and iodine. It forms a blueish-purple compound that can change the effects of sounds. It can boost amplitude, decrease wavelength, the song possibilities are virtually endless! Lana and Luna have a lot in common, as seen in the episode "Room With A Feud". This compound is a show stopper, for sure!**

 **Lana-Leni: Cobalt Monoxide (CoO): Also known as cobalt oxide, this black solid powder is used to varnish a blue glaze on ceramics. Leni and Lana don't interact that much, but it would be nice to see Leni draw inspiration from her siblings to use in her crafts.**

 **Lana-Lori: Cobalt Dichloride (CoCl2): The substance formed in high school chemistry classes everywhere, Cobalt dichloride, or Cobalt II chloride, as the professor would call it, is a sky blue substance when dry, and a magenta substance when wet. It may also be toxic, but scientists are still deliberating on that one. Lana and Lori don't interact much, but it leans to a mostly negative relationship.**

 **Lucy-Lincoln: Carbon Tetrahydride (CH4-): You've probably heard of this one before...it's methane. You know, the fart gas. Ironic, since there's nothing wrong with this relationship. Lincoln and Lucy get along great together, as seen in "Sleuth or Consequences" and "Back In Black". This compound is just an unfortunate coincidence.**

 **Lucy-Lynn: Carbon Dimercuride (CHg2): Hypothetical compound between carbon and mercury. It is a highly reactive, hard to form compound that looks like a slightly darker mercury. Since Lynn and Lucy's relationship is mostly negative, this compound is only harmful.**

 **Lucy-Luan: Tricarbon Tetranitride (C4N3): Hypothetical compound between carbon and nitrogen. It doesn't form much, but when it does, something interesting happens. It forms a glassy clear solid, almost like a mirror. It is unknown why this is. Maybe it's to remind us that we should see a little of our friends in each other, just like when Luan and Lucy did in the episode "Room With A Feud".**

 **Lucy-Luna: Carbon Tetraiodide (CI4): a tetrahalomethane (a halogen formed with carbon). Not much is known about them. As for Lucy and Luna's relationship. It was negative starting out, but has gradually improved to a neutral.**

 **Lucy-Leni: Carbon Dioxide (Co2): Seriously, do I need to explain this one to you? Carbon Dioxide is what we animals breathe out, plants need it to grow, so when they get Co2, we get O2 (mixed with nitrogen, because pure oxygen would be fatal), thus completing our mutualistic cycle between Animalia and Plantae. Lucy and Leni don't interact much, but we can safely assume Leni is nice to all her siblings, and that includes Lucy.**

 **Lucy-Lori: Carbon Tetrachloride (CCl4): It is a clear liquid that was once used in fire extinguishers before being used as a refrigerant and a cleaning agent. Lucy doesn't interact with Lori much. The only time I can remember was in "Back In Black", when she tried to help Lucy impress Rocky. Generally, Lori doesn't even notice Lucy (like the rest of her siblings) so I guess it extinguishes the fire known as Lori by not adding more fuel to it, that being her siblings being annoying.**

 **Lincoln-Lynn: Dihydrogen Mercuride (H2+Hg): A dangerous hypothetical compound formed from hydrogen and mercury. It functions the exact same as pure mercury. The hydrogen dilutes the effects of the mercury, but it will still kill you. It represents Lincoln's and Lynn's relationship perfectly, with Lincoln trying to be peaceful, and Lynn being aggressive.**

 **Lincoln-Luan: Trihydrogen Nitride (H3+N): Also known by its street name ammonia, trihydrogen nitride is a gas that's hazardous and caustic, yet is widely used. Well if you've seen Luan on April Fool's day, you'd know the true meaning of the word "hazardous". Especially since Lincoln fell for Luan's trap and willingly set off all her pranks, just like she thought he would. However, on any other day, the two get along amazingly in the show, even if Lincoln doesn't like her bad puns.**

 **Lincoln-Luna: Hydrogen Iodide (HI): Well, hello to you too. Hydrogen iodide is a gaseous compound that is used as a reducer in redox reactions. Lincoln and Luna's relationship is the opposite of this, considering the aqueous solution of it (which should be H2OHI, but isn't for some reason) is extremely acidic. Lincoln and Luna are the best of friends as the show clearly shows.**

 **Lincoln-Leni: Dihydrogen Monoxide (H20): You are an idiot if you don't know what this is, considering you need to drink this compound to even live on this planet. It's water. A basic compound for the simplest of relationships. A caring brother and a sweet sister, what more could you want?**

 **Lincoln-Lori: Hydrogen Chloride (HCl): A colorless toxic vapor compound. Lincoln and Lori usually fight, but make up and end their conflict at the end of episode when they're pitted against each other. In "No Guts, No Glori", Lincoln realizes that Lori is necessary to maintain order in the Loud house and the sisters nominated him to be a replacement Lori, just like how hydrochloric acid (again, should be H2OHCl, since it's an aqueous solution) breaks down our food (stomach acid is mostly HCl).**

 **Lynn-Luan: Trimercury Dinitride (Hg3N2): A hypothetical minus-minus compound between mercury and nitrogen that has an anionic charge of -12! It is a dangerous gaseous substance that's extremely flammable. Lynn and Luan don't interact much, but Lynn would get slightly more annoyed than the others at Luan's puns.**

 **Lynn-Luna: Mercury Diiodide (HgI2): A hypothetical compound that has an anionic charge of -4. It has an alpha and beta form, with the alpha being a solid orange powder, and the beta being a yellow orange powder. While it has some helpful uses, it's extremely reactive, and can fall apart easily. Lynn and Luna don't interact much, but I don't think the outcome wouldn't be good.**

 **Lynn-Leni: Mercury Monoxide (HgO): A toxic solid orange powder that can be used to make more mercury. Leni and Lynn's relationship is extremely dangerous, as both of them have much in common, as seen in "Room With A Feud", and Leni could unintentionally have helped Lynn with her plan in "No Such Luck", had Lincoln not spread the lie himself. A relationship to be cautious of.**

 **Lynn-Lori: Mercury Dichloride (HgCl2): Also known as mercury II chloride, this white crystalline solid was used in many things like photography, medicine, preservation and crime. Like all other mercury compounds, they're toxic! Lynn and Lori relationship is also toxic, seeing as they normally don't get along very well.**

 **Luan-Luna: Nitrogen Triiodide (NI3): A compound with no definable matter phase. This compound is extremely sensitive and will explode if something reacts with it, releasing a violet iodide cloud. This represents Luan and Luna because even though they seem stable, they have major problems with each other, highlighted in "Brawl In The Family".**

 **Luan-Leni: Dinitrogen Trioxide (N2O3): A deep blue solid compound that can only be formed in the cold. This compound can be very toxic. Luan and Leni do have a distant relationship, but unless you count incessant laughter toxic (from the episode "Room With A Feud"), then no, they're fine. (Although, considering what SpongeBob's laughter does to Squidward, it may be toxic).**

 **Luan-Lori: Nitrogen Trichloride (NCl3): A yellow liquid compound that's extremely explosive. It is rare to find it in a pure form and not as a byproduct of ammonium reactions. Luan and Lori only reacted in the episode "Party Down", when Lori kicked out Luan for telling bad jokes. Not as explosive as the actual compound but it's something.**

 **Luna-Leni: Diodine oxide (I2O): All iodine oxides are complicated to form, and I2O is only theoretically possible. I20 is said to be unstable but can react with halogenic alkanes. Luna and Leni almost never react. The only time they did was in "House Music", when Luna scolded Leni for singing the lyrics wrong.**

 **Luna-Lori: Iodine Monochloride (ICl): This compound is a reddish-brown liquid that melts at room temperature. Luna and Lori have a negative relationship, stemming from Lori's seniority and authority.**

 **Leni-Lori: Oxygen Dichloride (OCl2): A brownish yellow gaseous compound. Oxygen dichloride is stated to be explosive, but scientists haven't researched this enough to prove it. Leni and Lori's relationship is certainly explosive, seeing as they fight over trivial things, seen in "Brawl In The Family", "Room With A Feud" and "Potty Mouth", when they fought over clothing.**

 **And those are all of the chemical compounds associated with each Loud sibling pair. Sorry for the long chemistry lesson. As for the actual story, Lisa finally reconciles with Lincoln! It's about time! And all it took was Lana slapping some sense into her (literally). Ironically, even though Lisa expected her bond with Lincoln to be ionic, it's actually covalent! Lana's bond with Lincoln is ionic, instead of covalent. I have a feeling that Lisa will be important later on, but for now...what could happen next?**


	50. Comic Relief

**Chapter Synopsis: Lincoln rereads Luan's comic; We see the comic for the first time**

* * *

It's a relatively calm and cool February 2nd. There seems to be nothing of interest in the Loud house today. We see Lincoln rereading that Ace Savvy comic that Luan made for him when he was comatose. Since that day, he's read it a few times. Leni also helped, by drawing all the artwork for the panels. He delves into the comic book world yet again, but this time, we're coming along for the ride.

We see that it's nighttime within the comic book version of Royal Woods. The camera pans to a shadowy alleyway, where we see our hero of the night blend within the shadows of nocturne. It may be nighttime and the unsuspecting citizens are sound asleep, but as we all know, crime doesn't sleep. The police have tried to catch this masked vigilante, but to no avail. Eventually, they gave up once they realized he was on their side. They'll never find him, but he always leaves his calling card. He is Ace Savvy! But of course, no hero fights crime alone! He always has a few aces up his sleeve, the Full House gang. However, this idea has dealt the villains a new hand…

* * *

[The scene changes to a derelict warehouse formerly known as Enigma Industries, we see Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack doing reconnaissance from the rooftop of an adjacent building]

"Do you see anything, One-Eyed Jack?"

"Negative, Ace."

"Our intel said that the Deep Freeze came out of hiding and is planning something big."

"Uh, Ace…you might want to take a look…"

[He takes the binoculars from him and peers into the building. People are talking inside.]

"Welcome. I see you got my invitation."

"Enough with the cold shoulder, Deep Freeze. What are we doing here?"

"Ah yes, Warden, I assume you know about the Full House gang?"

"Of course, who doesn't? There's Jesse, Danny, Joey, D.J, Stephanie, Michelle, Rebecca, Kimmy, Steve, Nicky and Alex."

"Not that _Full House_! I mean Ace Savvy's harem of superheroines!"

"Oh, aren't there 11 of them? Including Ace and Jack…that's 13."

"How astute of you, Pharaoh's Curse."

"Where's your little sidekick, congelador?"

"He's doing some PR for us. He's a playboy."

"I bet that Queen will play a lot with that boy…"

"Stop with the innuendos, Entangler! Kids could be reading this…

"The Card Collection will reshuffle the deck in our favor! Royal Woods will be ours! Now, here's the plan…"

* * *

[Back at the building, Ace is panicking at the prospect of this]

"It's worse than I thought, a team up! My greatest villains forming a veritable rogue's gallery! I need to call for reinforcements!"

[He franticly calls a number, he calls Lola. The panel shifts to an opulent gala. Lola is wearing a stunning pink dress. She gets Ace's call]

"This is Lola."

"It's Ace, get over here, now!"

"What's the codeword?"

"Diamond"

"Alright, Ace…I'll be there."

[Lola hangs up and talks to a boy about her age.]

"So, socialite… ready to dance?"

"Sorry, something's come up."

"Oh, I understand…"

[Lola leaves, the boy gets a message]

"Go for Lexx."

"Our sources say that Ace now has a Queen of Diamonds in his hand! Social Climber, we need your help to stop them!"

"Alright, Deep Freeze. ETA is 20 minutes."

[Ace calls a second number; This time Luan picks up.]

"Funny Business Inc., where your fun is our business, Luan speaking."

"N to O"

"Oh, it's you Ace, I'd be more than happy to make a few criminals laugh."

[Ace calls a third number; This one is Leni]

"This is Leni, who is this?"

"Muffler"

"Oh, Ace, you want me to silence the crime waves? Sure!"

[A fourth number; Lori and Lily]

"Trump"

"I'll be there."

"Poo-poo."

[Fifth number; Lisa]

"Who is this?"

"Larceny"

"Ace, I'll be there in 52 moves."

[Sixth number; Lucy]

"Hello?"

"Graveyard"

"I'll add more to the pile, Ace."

[Seventh number; Luna]

"Amplitude"

"I'll rock their worlds, guaranteed, Ace."

[Eighth number, Lana]

"You've reached Lana."

"Septic"

"Oh, a fellow Boss, well "Top O' The Mornin' To Ya" to you."

"No Lana, this is Ace, and I'm not one of his fans! Neither are you!"

"I know, it's just funny when someone imitates him."

"Royal Flush, it's time to clean up crime!"

"I'll be there within 2 deals, Ace."

* * *

[Meanwhile, in a different abandoned building…]

"There should be a crime in progress here…"

[The character enters the darkness]

"Hello…?"

[suddenly, they're ambushed!]

"Huh? Get of…!

 ***SNAP!**

* * *

[Everyone is at Ace's Deck, their hideout. They're there to discuss the villain team up.]

"Uhh, where's Strong Suit?" The Night Club asked

"Now that you mention it, Royal Flush isn't here either." The Joker interjected

"Maybe we should…"

[They're interrupted by a crime alert!]

"Deep Freeze has stolen 14 gallons of liquid nitrogen from the laboratory and is hoarding it at Tetherby's mansion! Deep Freeze must have held him hostage!" Ace reasoned

"Lord Tetherby? Aww…do we have to save that annoying prick?" The Queen of Diamonds complained

"Sadly, yes. He is no match for a supervillain. Card Counter, do you have any new gadgets for us?"

"Yes, Ace! I have made a substance known as T3B4L3. I've injected this substance into our gadgets. It should be helpful for Deep Freeze's glacial hideouts."

[The team grabs their gear and heads off to Tetherby's mansion, Bates is outside, panicking]

"Oh, thank heavens! It's Ace Savvy! Master Tetherby is missing!" Bates clamored

"That's not good, the supervillain Deep Freeze is here with about 14 canisters of liquid nitrogen! He must be planning to turn the mansion into his own personal ice palace! We have to stop him!" Ace realizes

[The team rushes down to the mansion's basement and find Deep Freeze and his minions pouring the liquid nitrogen into the mansion's cooling system!]

"Justice has finally caught up to you, Deep Freeze!" Ace Savvy boasted

"Well, if it isn't Ace Savvy, while you we chasing me, the other villains have already started their evil plans! Joker, you've heard this one before but…it's time to chill out!"

[Deep Freeze turns on the mansion's air conditioning, it starts to freeze everything in the mansion! His minions aren't affected by the nitrogen because they're wearing special thermodynamic suits!]

"I have a plan." The Joker assured him "We have to blow up the cooling system to permanently stop the nitrogen! I have a T3B4L3 bomb, you just need to distract Deep Freeze's henchmen so I can drop the bomb into the system, then we run outside to trigger it, because once it blows, the nitrogen will flash freeze anything it touches!"

[The Joker starts to make her way to the air conditioning unit…]

"Minions! Stop her!" Deep Freeze bellowed

[His henchmen try to stop her, but Ace provides covering fire with his Spade Snipers, laced with T3B4L3! It hits the henchmen and bursts into flames on them! They run away!]

"Fine, I'll fight you myself!" Deep Freeze shouted

[He approaches them with an upgraded cryosuit, complete with liquid hydrogen blasters!]

"Feel the chill of absolute zero!"

[The Joker places the bomb inside the cooling system. The rest of the team hold out against Deep Freeze's artic assault. Joker gives the signal to run away, so they do. She goes outside and blows the system! No more liquid nitrogen! Deep Freeze's plans are permanently…on ice! The Full house gang reenter and subdue him by countering his hydrogen blaster with a T3B4L3 flamethrower! The police arrive and take him away.]

"Alright! We finally got the most notorious supervillain in Royal Woods finally locked up!"

* * *

[They head back to the Deck to debrief…]

"Alright, now that Deep Freeze is on ice. We won't need the tert-butyllithium anymore, so I removed it from our weapons." Card Counter postulated

"Next order of business…

[Ace is interrupted by a second crime alert]

"Mother of god…the Entangler has held the Santiago's hostage in their own house!" Ace cried out

"Bobby is in trouble?! That settles it, I'm going with you!" High Card shrieked

"We can't just reveal our hand! This is the Entangler we're talking about! Royal Woods most dangerous supervillain and my personal arch nemesis! Ace Shouted "She'll be expecting me so…One-Eyed Jack, I'll leave this one up to you, I'll be there as a reinforcement, but you'll take the lead." Ace said

[The High Card drives everyone to the Santiago household. We see an assortment of cards all over the place, like a magic act gone wrong…there they see Bobby and Mrs. Santiago bound to the couch by playing cards!]

"Where's Ronnie Anne?" High Card said in a panic

"She got bound to her bedroom." Bobby stated

[One-Eyed Jack and the rest of the Full House gang enter the house. Soon after, the Entangler makes her appearance. There are no henchmen, it's just her.]

"Welcome to the Santiago household, mis trajes…" The Entangler said cordially "So, I see Spade is savvy enough to not come here, el cobarde! Oh well, it seems like he can't solve my puzzle to set Bobby and his mom free! Diamantes, tréboles, espadas y corazones… este trajes… que atraparte en mi web de todos los tiempos!"

[A flurry of cards binds everyone!]

"Come inside and save your precious superheroines…and One-Eyed Jack, or not. The choice is yours, As!"

[With no other option, Ace Savvy enters the house and starts frantically solving the puzzles! He frees Bobby, Mrs. Santiago, One-Eyed Jack, and The High Card, before the Entangler comes back.]

"So, you tried desperately to save the Santiago's and your team. But Let's see if you can fight these lines!"

[A line of Hearts, and a line of Spades block the way, the 8's are swapped. Ace simply rearranges them and solves the easy puzzle. He frees The Joker, The Deuce, The 8 of Spades and The Queen of Diamonds next.]

"Bah, just suerte, mi adversario! I was just toying with you on that one! Here's a much harder one!"

[This time all 8 spots are filled, it takes Ace about 4 minutes to solve it because it was only one suit spider solitaire. He frees The Card Counter, The Night Club and The 11 of Hearts]

"Ok…fine you beat my puzzle, you won this time Ace Savvy, but next time, you will be entrapped within my web! If you'd join me, we'd be unstoppable! But no, you prefer paz instead of divertido, verdad?"

[She disappears within an intricately made web made out of cards. Ace Savvy runs into Ronnie Anne's room and finds her entrapped in of the Entangler's card strings, he solves the puzzle and frees her. The gang once again tries to debrief themselves back at base.]

* * *

"Wow, capturing 2 of the greatest supervillains that Royal Woods has ever faced. I'm proud of every one of you!"

[A 3rd alert goes off!]

"Oh, come on!" One-Eyed Jack complained

"The Warden has trapped students attending night school at Royal Woods Elementary!"

[They go to Royal Woods Elementary, they head to the gymnasium and find the Warden locking up students in the room.]

"Don't worry students, we are your parole officers! And you've just been approved to go home!" The Night Club enthusiastically cried out

"Ha! You idiots have fallen into my trap!" The Warden boasted "No messing around! Lockdown!"

[The Warden nullifies Ace Savvy, One Eyed Jack, The Joker and The Queen of Diamonds!]

"What are you going to do without your leader, ladies?" He questioned

[The Warden's mooks come out, they start to attack our beloved superheroines, but not the superheroes on lockdown, the Warden already took care of them!]

"I'll handle the rocker, you handle the strategist!" Henchman 1 said to Henchman 2

[Cut to a few minutes later where about 30 mooks are defeated, the Warden is getting nervous]

("If they've already defeated 30 of my 52 henchmen, those 4 will be freed soon. I have to do something!") The Warden thought to himself

Alright, I think we've defeated enough baddies to free 2 of our allies!" The 11 of Hearts commented

[The Warden comes out with a bunch of gadgets]

"Not so fast! I'll stop you with THIS!"

[He grabs a pair of shock gloves and activates him, he rushes them…and the 8 of Spades knocks him out with a blow to the head. The Full house gang knock out all the mooks, free their allies, and notify police that they've caught the Warden. Ironically, he was subdued by his OWN handcuffs!]

* * *

[They're about to head back, when a fourth crime alert goes off!]

"Seriously, 4 supervillains in one day?!" The Card Counter utters exasperatedly

"The Pharaoh's Curse is causing chaos at Gus' Games and Grub!" One-Eyed Jack read off

"We're close by, let's go!" The Queen of Diamonds assured them

[They head to Gus' Games and Grub and already see the Pharaoh's Curse duplicating stuff with his magic scepter!]

"I'll take 13 root beers, 169 game tokens and 2197 tickets!" He laughs manically as he duplicates the items "Ah, lucky 13, you never disappoint!"

[The Queen of Diamonds and Ace Savvy try a surprise attack on him, but he notices and dodges out of the way]

"Nope, try again!" He taunts at them

[The 11 of Hearts tries to tie him up while One-Eyed Jack pummels him! It works, but the number "22" appears on his head. It turns purple and blasts a shockwave at them, knocking them back.]

"Can't you add? 11+11 isn't 13, you idiots!"

[He notices the Card Counter]

Ah, Card Counter, my arch nemesis! Well, can you destroy this pyramid in only 28 moves?!

[He conjures up a pyramid made up of cards, she solves it in 27.]

"Grr, how about THIS, then?!"

* * *

[He targets the Queen of Diamonds and duplicates her with his scepter, there are now 13 Queen of Diamonds! The Queens turn on Ace and his Full House!]

"13 Queens, I wonder which one of you will betray me… toodles!"

[He books it while Ace and his gang are left to deal with the Queen of Diamond copies. The Deuce and One-Eyed Jack double team 3 of the clones and manage to disperse them. The High Card manages to disperse 8 of them by changing to the highest value card. Ace Savvy weakly punches the last 2 clones and is about to get beat up by them, when the real Queen of Diamonds uses her tiara as a boomerang to disperse the final 2 clones!]

"The Pharaoh's Curse is getting away! Card Counter, can you track his position?!"

"Yes, he's at 1216 Franklin Avenue!"

"Wait…that's OUR house, why is he there?!"

[They race down to the Loud house! The Pharaoh's Curse is at their garage, having already duplicated himself and the magic scepter into 13!]

"We need to find the real one! Only attacks that equal 13 will have any effect on him! Alternatively, we could steal the scepter and break it to undo the curse!"

"Consider it done, Ace!"

[They try to steal the scepters and break them, but all of them so far are duplicates! There's only one left…Ace tricks it away from a duplicate and breaks it! The curse is broken! All of the duplicated items disappear! Without the scepter, he's powerless! Ace Savvy subdues him and calls the cops on him!]

[They finally head back to the Deck to finally get debriefed on the situation.]

* * *

"Ok, we've managed to apprehend 4 members of the Card Collection! Royal Woods' greatest threat is almost completely neutralized! We just need to find the 5th and final member…"

[He gets an unexpected 5th crime alert]

"Who's this? The "Social Climber"? He's blackmailing a playboy!" The Queen of Diamonds announced "Say, he looks familiar…"

"No time, to the gala!"

[They all head to the gala, the Social Climber has the victim at his mercy with a black envelope with all of his most precious secrets.]

"Ha, I didn't think the great Ace Savvy would waste his time on me, but you're too late! This poor sap has already agreed to pay me in exchange for keeping his secrets hidden. You've…

[The Queen of Diamonds knocks him out from behind while he was monologuing, the police arrive just as Ace Savvy and his cadre of crime stoppers left.]

[Back at the Deck, the final debriefing is being held]

"We did it. We managed to capture all 5 members of the Card Collection, all of the supervillains are currently incarcerated in the Royal Woods Jail. Finally, the good people of this fair city can rest easy knowing that we're protecting them. Now on to our missing members…"

* * *

[Ace Savvy is interrupted by a message. The person's voice is distorted with one of those voice changers.]

"I have your Royal Flush. I'll trade her over for a 5 of a kind. Meet me at this address. I'll be waiting, Savvy!"

"We have to save her!" The 11 of hearts cried out in alarm

"This is it, this time, we get The Royal Flush back! High Card, Takes us there!"

[They head to the address and find enter a pitch-black building. A spotlight shows the Royal Flush dangling from a set of wires wearing a pair of angel wings. The wires move and drops her on the ground…she's unresponsive.]

"No…" The Joker utters in a quavering voice

"Yes." says an unknown figure lurking in the shadows

[The lights turn on revealing The Strong Suit standing next to the Royal Flush's limp corpse]

"Ha, I did what those lame "supervillains" couldn't do. Draw out a new card! Ace, your best hand was crushed by mine!" She laughs insanely

[The team gets ready to attack, but she pulls out a lighter.]

"This place is still filled with explosive props, you know. I could just light this and kill us all, you see."

* * *

"Why did you do this?" The High Card questioned

"Easy, that Ace always claims he's the best, but in reality, he's the weakest member. He's a 1! Even his partner in crime is an 11, way more than him! I was the strongest one at 13! I should be the leader!"

"Why didn't you ask? He'd be happy to let you lead!" The Night Club pointed out

"You don't get it. I mean I should be the SOLE leader of the Full House gang. So, I lured the Royal Flush here and killed her just to lure you into this trap! Remember, one spark and we all go "boom!"" She reminded "The King of Clubs has the highest power level! A power of 13! No card can beat that! Spades, I know you read cards, well here are the 3 in your future!"

[she drops a Death, Tower and Devil tarot card]

"It's over, I've won!" The King of clubs laughed manically

[The 11 of Hearts whips away the lighter. The High Card and Ace Savvy use a team attack!]

"Ace's High!" The High card shouted, as she threw Ace Savvy at their former teammate.

[Ace Savvy is surrounded in a cyan aura. His 1 turns to 2, to 4, to 8, to 10, to 13! When he finally gets to the King of Clubs, he punches her with a power of 14! The only number high enough to beat a king! She gets knocked unconscious]

Ace Savvy hauls her off to jail personally, while the rest of the group pay tribute to their fallen comrade.

"You were always a valuable member of our team…farewell, my fallen friend."

[Back in the real world, Lincoln is crying once he read that last line.]

* * *

 **Author's Note: I think this a decent sequel to Lincoln's comic that he made in "Pulp Friction". Of course, Luan wasn't trying to overtake his comic, she just wanted to make one for Lincoln to read once he awoke from his coma. Luan still thinks Lincoln's comic is better than hers. All of the superheroes and supervillains have special abilities. Here are the abilities for the Full House Gang.**

 **The Deuce: Gas Chamber: This ability works best in enclosed spaces. The Deuce will send out a bunch of chloroform and methane infused diaper bombs at the target, knocking them out! If the enemy is wearing a suit, like Deep Freeze's minions are, the attack will have no effect!**

 **The Card Counter: Turnover: The weakest of the Full House Gang abilities. It is a support ability that will analyze the enemy and reveal their weaknesses. Just think of the Tattle ability in Paper Mario, it works like that.**

 **Queen Of Diamonds: Radiant Light: The Queen of Diamonds wears an ultra-reflective cape that reflects light at the enemy, temporarily blinding them! It will fail if it's nighttime, or if she's in a room with no light pouring in.**

 **Royal Flush: Straight Shot: This move lets the Royal Flush attack 5 times in a row. The power goes from 13, 12, 11, 10 and 9, dealing 55 damage in all! It's super effective on the Social Climber, considering his weakness.**

 **8 Of Spades: Graveyard Shift: You know how in video games, you can revive fallen allies? Well, 8 of Spades' special ability is to revive unconscious allies. Though this ability has a 15-minute cooldown...but luckily, she can instantly get it back if the mission ended.**

 **Ace Savvy: Ace of Spades: A support ability, Ace Savvy grants a temporary stat boost and slightly heals his allies. This doesn't affect their damage output however.**

 **Strong Suit: Trump Card: A broken ability with a 30-minute cooldown. This ability immediately knocks out one enemy. It doesn't matter if it's a generic minion or the supervillain, it's a 1 hit KO! It also has a 42% chance of failing.**

 **The Joker: Joke's On You: This ability is completely crazy. All you need to know is that it temporarily confuses the enemies so that Ace's hand can attack. It works more like immobilizing the enemy. Sadly, the enemies don't hurt themselves in confusion...**

 **The Night Club: Amplified Shuffle: The Night Club gets out her guitar and rocks out! This ability makes all enemies move positions. Since the enemies are in different card sets, this could turn the battle in their favor. It could also have the opposite effect. It also does a small amount of damage, so she could knock out some of the enemies.**

 **The 11 Of Hearts: Love's Entrapment: The 11 Of Hearts summons a whole bunch of scarves and uses them to immobilize all enemies. The binding effect lasts for 11 minutes, so Ace's hand could turn the tide with that amount of time! It also works like wrap in Pokémon, dealing a small amount of damage to the enemies bound!**

 **The High Card: Ace's High: A support move that's very situational. If The High Card uses it on anyone except Ace, it does nothing. But if she uses it on Ace, His pathetic 1 damage gets maxed out to the legendary 14 damage per attack! Ace is surrounded by a cyan aura when this happens and lasts for 1 minute!**

 **One-Eyed Jack: Jack Of All Trades: He can copy anyone else's ability, even supervillains! He's basically like Mega Man in that regard. However, he needs to be close to the person to use it, about 5 feet. It also has a 20-minute cooldown.**

* * *

 **And here are the Card Collection's Special abilities.**

 **Deep Freeze: Absolute 0: Deep Freeze throws out a cryobomb with a liquid nitrogen core, which will detonate a short time later. Anything it hits will get instantly flash frozen for 3 minutes, if it doesn't knock you out! This a dangerous ability that you should avoid at all costs! It even works in super-hot places, like a desert, so extreme heat won't save you from it.**

 **Entangler: Web Of Suits: The Entangler sends out a massive flurry of cards. The cards will then form lines that will bind anyone! The only way to undo it is to solve the puzzle associated with it!**

 **Warden: Lockdown: He can render 4 of his enemies completely useless. It works better the more minions he has that aren't knocked out. The imprisoned can be freed if enough of the Warden's minions are knocked out, or if you defeat the Warden himself.**

 **Pharaoh's Curse: Lucky 13: He recovers 169 HP. The weakest of the Card Collection's Abilities, but it's the most practical.**

 **Social Climber: C2 It: He conjures a literal triple mountain of cards. It wastes a whole bunch of time, allowing the Social Climber to escape. You can't go around it, you have to break it. It will just extend itself, preventing you from moving onward. It might have magical properties. This ability is named after the K2 mountain.**

 **King Of Clubs: Killer Tri-Sniper: Not a Card Collection member, but a supervillain nonetheless. This ability is an improvement on Strong Suit's Trump Card ability, seeing as she now has 3 chances to one hit kill you, and this time, she only has a 20% chance of failing. It's one of the most dangerous abilities!**

 **Even though we don't know the true identities of the Card Collection members. They can honestly be any character you want them to be, except for Social Climber, but you can just insert your character's name instead of Lexx's for that one. Here is what I chose them to be.**

 **Deep Freeze: Lord Tetherby  
** **Entangler: Ronnie Anne  
** **Warden: Coach Pacowski  
** **Pharaoh's Curse: Chandler  
** **Social Climber: Lexx**

 **Deep Freeze: The embodiment of Klondike, he tries to put Ace Savvy and his team on ice by luring them to his mansion and flash-freezing them solid. He's known by many names, considering that Klondike, Solitaire and Patience are all the same game, Deep Freeze is just one of his aliases. He's a more villainous version of Mr. Freeze from Batman.**

 **Entangler: The embodiment of Spider Solitaire, she is more of an anti-hero than a supervillain. But she is public enemy #1 in Royal Woods' supervillain computer. Her only motivation is to cause chaos within the city. However, she's more mischievous than malicious. Could she have a crush on Ace Savvy?! She's the Ace Savvy version of Catwoman.**

 **Warden: The embodiment of Freecell, he is known for elaborate traps that he tries to ensnare Ace's gang in. He also has enough gadgets to make even Bruce Wayne jealous. He would be the villainous version of Batman in an alternate universe.**

 **Pharaoh's Curse: The embodiment of Pyramid, he's just a spoiled kid with a magic scepter. The scepter can duplicate anything by 13 and numbers related to 13. He even only takes damage if it equals 13! Break the scepter and he's powerless. The closest villain he would match up with in the Batman universe would be Ra's al Ghul.**

 **Social Climber: He's more of a supervillain in training, but he's still dangerous. The embodiment of Tripeaks, his greatest strength is also his greatest weakness. He only takes damage if someone goes 1 up, or 1 down. For example, Queen of Diamonds can deal 12 damage to him, So either High Card can change into a king card and deal 13 damage to him, or either The 11 Of Hearts or One-Eyed Jack can attack him for 11 damage. He's pathetically easy to beat. The closest Batman supervillain he would match up with would be the Penguin.**

 **King Of Clubs: She is incredibly dangerous, having actually killed one of the Full House Gang. She would be the closest to the Joker from Batman. Seeing as he's managed to kill Robin in some of the Batman comics (Most notably in "A Death In The Family"). She is not a member of the Card Collection, but she is a rogue supervillain and must be apprehended.**

* * *

 **Ace's Codewords have references to either the person or a certain card aspect. Here's all their explanations.**

 **Diamond: In the Bartle Test For Gamer Psychology, Diamonds are achievers. Seeing as Lola is a socialite, it's safe to say she's achieved a lot.  
** **N to O: Chemistry reference to N2O, Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, if you prefer. Luan is a comedienne, see the correlation yet?  
** **Muffler: A Muffler is a type of scarf. The 11 Of Hearts' main weapons are her scarves. They're about as practical as Indiana Jones' whip!  
** **Trump: A Trump _Card_ , and not Donald Trump. A trump card is the strongest card, so of course, it'd be The High Card's codeword.  
** **Larceny: This one is a long shot, but it's a reference to the Card Counter's cover. She's a cashier at a store.  
** **Graveyard: A reference to TCG's, the graveyard is where knocked out cards go.  
** **Amplitude: Obviously, The Night Club is a rockstar, so of course a musical codeword would be necessary.  
** **Septic: Royal Flush's cover is that she's a plumber, it also has a Jacksepticeye reference bundled in it.**

* * *

 **Enigma Industries is both a reference and not a reference to the Batman villain, the Riddler. It is not a reference because Riddler's real name is Edward Nygma, or Enygma. It is a reference because both his name and the word "enigma" are pronounced the same.**

 **Ace Savvy also has his "Extra Hand", which are his reinforcements. This being a spiritual sequel to the comic Lincoln made in "Pulp Friction", he only has one reinforcement, Wild Card Willy (principal Huggins)! Wild Card can actually end both the Warden and Pharaoh's Curse fights almost instantly! The Warden doesn't even fight him, and the Pharaoh's Curse has a harder time if he's fighting Wild Card! Luan didn't use him because it wouldn't be fun if Ace had an "instant win" on one of the 5 most dangerous supervillains in Royal Woods!**

 **Lincoln was crying when he read that last sentence because he knows what it means. It's a "in memoriam" sentence. This comic was inspired by Lana, and Luan didn't want her to be forgotten. That realization always makes Lincoln cry, no matter how many times he reads the comic.**

 **So, how did Luan do? Did she put in enough card puns to match Lincoln's comic, or the originals made by Bill Buck? Were there enough allusions to the Batman series? How does it stack up to Lincoln's comic in "Pulp Friction"? Luan is expecting his to be better, but is hers just as good? Well, enough wasting time, next time on Sycophant...something big happens.**


	51. Chessmaster

**Chapter Synopsis: Lisa tests out a new invention on Lincoln, which reveals what he thinks of his sisters; The sisters try to convince Lincoln they've changed**

* * *

It is now March 18, 2018, one day after the boisterous celebration of luck known as Saint Patrick's Day. We see the Loud siblings all congregating inside Lori and Leni's room. It appears that Lisa has called a sibling meeting.

"Siblings, it is my elation to report that I have finished yet another invention." Lisa announces

"This isn't anything new, you're a certified genius! How is this different than the other 1337 prior inventions you've made?" Lincoln remarks sarcastically

"Because, elder brother, this one…I'm testing out on you!"

"Wait, what?!" Lincoln says in a panic

"Sisters, this is the Psychoseeker, it is a device that will allow psychologists to immediately diagnose and treat any mental problems…hopefully. I need a beta tester and I nominate you to test it, Lincoln."

Lisa fires the Psychoseeker at him, it shoots off a purple beam of energy!

"Now to test if it works…"

Lisa taps her pointer finger to her forehead. The black and blue patterned VR chessboard appears. Lincoln has 11 black queens and 1 black king surrounding him!

"That's atypical, usually only 5 black pieces appear at the most. But I don't see any mental problems here so…"

"Let me try." Lucy proclaims

Lucy taps her pointer finger to her forehead. Lincoln is still surrounded by 11 queens and a black king. This time though, 2 queens and the king shatter immediately, revealing figurines of Lincoln, Lana and Lily!

LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!

* * *

 _Confrontation/Presto 2009_ from _Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth_ begins to play!

"Lincoln, are you sure you're ok?" Lucy asks him

"Sure, never better! Now let's ponder the futility of life." Lincoln responds

"Hey, you never said that before! You love life, just like Lana, don't you?" Lucy counters

Lucy's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 5 hits to go!

"You're right. I did love life, but that was before the incident."

"Can you elaborate?"

"Sure, once Lana died I realized something…you were right, Lucy. Life is meaningless!"

Lincoln's queen attacks Lucy's queen; 5 hits to go!

"This isn't like you, Lincoln! You're always so happy…"

"Just a mask. I've been suffering, same as you. Only mine…is real."

Lincoln's queen attacks Lucy's queen; 4 hits to go!

"But…we all care about you."

Lucy's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 4 hits to go!

"True, but you can't do anything. I've made my choice."

"Which is…"

"I'm going to end my meaningless existence by erasing myself from this world."

Lincoln's queen attacks Lucy's queen; 3 hits to go!

Lucy waits and sees…

"…"

("Is he…crying?")

"Lincoln, you don't have to do this, we can help you!" Lucy exclaims

Lucy's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 3 hits to go!

"You hate life too, don't you, Lucy? You can join me…if you want." Lincoln says in a creepily monotonous voice

"No, I want my brother to stay here!"

Lucy's king attacks Lincoln's queen; 2 hits to go!

"There's a box cutter in the garage. I'll exsanguinate myself…you probably have some morbid spell that requires human blood, right? Well, I'll help you out…at least then I'll be worth something to you." Lincoln explains

Lincoln's queen attacks Lucy's queen; 2 hits to go!

"Lincoln, do you really feel worthless enough that killing yourself will help me?"

"Yes. We can make a blood suicide pact. I know you'd want to be with me…don't worry, your big brother will protect you in the afterlife, just like I protect you know, just like she did…"

"But I'M nothing without YOU, Lincoln…"

Lucy's queen attacks Lincoln's queen; 1 hit to go

"We have reached the absolute, there is nothing left for us here."

Lucy waits and sees…

"That German's philosophy was right. It was called "nihilism", I believe."

"Lincoln, do we mean anything to you?"

"Of course, you're my sisters!"

"Then don't you have a reason to stay alive?"

"…"

"Lucy…"

"Yes, Lincoln…"

"You're right, my sisters will get me through all the ordeals we'll face. We'll face them head on!"

Lucy's queen attacks Lincoln's queen. It shatters, revealing a Lucy figurine.

"Lisa, Lincoln had nihilism, but I managed to snap him out of it." Lucy reports

"There are still 7 queens left, corresponding to the other sisters, no doubt. If he associates you with nihilism, Lucy, I wonder what he associates his other sisters with?"

* * *

Lisa tries to shatter her queen from Lincoln. She takes Lucy's place while Lucy goes off elsewhere. Truth Timer restored to 100%!

"Lincoln, are you scared of me?" Lisa postulated

"Is that even a question, Lis? Yes! You scare me because you can experiment on me and horribly disfigure me!"

Lincoln begins having a nervous breakdown.

"Please, Lisa don't experiment on me! I know you consider me a flaw in this family! An imperfection that must be eradicated to maintain the stability of our nuclear interrelationships!"

("It appears he's having a mental breakdown! He gave me valuable information, when he got overwhelmed by emotions! Now's my chance!")

"You're a failure as a person!" Lisa declares to him

Lincoln begins bawling hysterically and curls up into a fetal position. He mutters pensively, hoping the mean little girl won't mutilate him, accidental or otherwise.

-99% of Health Meter!

"Oh no, what have I done?! That just accelerated and exacerbated his breakdown even further!" Lisa acknowledges

Lisa notices a dark green aura manifest itself into Lisa! It notices her.

"Hello, I'm you. Or rather, how Lincoln sees you. I'm Perfectionism. You just called Lincoln a waste of both DNA and RNA. Congratulations, you just proved HIS hypothesis that you have no need for imperfections, imperfections like him."

"How dare you call my elder brother an imperfection!" Lisa yells at her

"Don't shoot the messenger, Lisa. If you want to complain to anyone, complain to Lincoln. This is how he sees you. I'm just the personification and anthropormorphization of Lincoln's feelings towards you. But…I think you broke him. His psyche is almost completely shattered because of you. Can you make up with him? Good luck, Lis! Why am I rooting for you when I'm a Mental Torture? Because we care for Lincoln in his subconscious, just like how you care for him here. If Lincoln's feelings about you change in the real world, then I will change accordingly to reflect that in his subconscious." Perfectionism elucidates quite articulately

("Right, I have to make up with Lincoln, this was long overdue…")

"Lincoln, please calm down…"

"Why, so you can berate me again, you immoral reprobate?!" Lincoln bellowed back

"No…I want to talk to you."

"Right, to yell at me for having my A-T C-G deoxyribose pairs bonded wrong!"

"Lincoln, I want to help you."

"…Ok, I'll listen. But I'm watching you…" Lincoln warned her

"Why do think I'm perfect?" Lisa ponders to him

"You've won a junior Nobel prize, earned a medical doctorate at 4, made numerous inventions and tutor everyone else!" Lincoln points out

"But I'm not perfect. I fail at social situations. I have astigmatism, which is why I wear these special bifocals and I'm generally seen as an outcast because of my dedication to science." Lisa argues

Lisa's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 5 hits to go!

"Wow Lisa, I didn't know…I'm sorry about that." Lincoln utters sadly

Lisa waits and sees…

"But what about your unabashed superiority and zero tolerance for ignoramuses like me? You hate stupid people!" Lincoln counters

"I love Leni even though she's dumb."

"No, you don't, you demean her every chance you get. You can't stand her idiocy." Lincoln retorts harshly

Lincoln's bishop attacks Lisa's queen; 5 hits to go!

"I just want you to better yourselves through gaining intelligence, elder brother."

Lisa's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 4 hits to go!

Lincoln waits and sees….

"I want you to be the best version of you that you can be."

Lisa waits and sees…

"I don't like your methods, but I do agree with your sentiments."

Lisa's king attacks Lincoln's queen; 3 hits to go!

"Lincoln?"

"Yeah, Lisa?"

"I don't want to feel like you're imperfect."

"…"

"But…a homo sapiens' flaws are what make them perfect! That was something should have realized long ago."

Lisa's bishop attacks Lincoln's queen; 2 hits to go!

"Lisa, do you really mean that?"

"Of course, Lincoln."

Lisa's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 1 hit to go!

"You're my family, and you're perfect just the way you are!"

Lisa's queen attacks Lincoln's queen. It shatters, revealing a Lisa figurine.

Lisa talks to the other sisters while Lincoln starts to recover from the breakdown and the rebuttal of logic Lisa just handed to him.

"Sisters, we need to help Lincoln. It seems my Psychoseeker was a success. When I said that Lincoln was a failure as a person, a green aura formed into me. It called itself a Mental Torture, and its name was Perfectionism. She was a manifestation of Lincoln's true perceptions of me. Now that I broke the queen associated with me, she said she'll change to reflect our brother's current feelings toward me and help Lincoln subconsciously. We need to break the queens surrounding Lincoln and change how he perceives us for the better! Who's with me?!" Lisa declares

"We are!" All of the sisters shouted in unison, determined to help their brother show them the real versions of themselves

* * *

"I'm the oldest, so I'll go next." Lori volunteers

Lori takes Lisa's place. Truth Timer and Health Meter restored to 100%!

"Lincoln, you can tell me what's going on. I'm your older sister, after all."

"…"

("Lincoln is sweating bullets! Why is that?")

Lori waits and sees…

"..."

Lori waits and sees…

"…"

Lori waits and sees…

"..."

Lori waits and sees…

"…"

Lori waits and sees…

"..."

Lori waits and sees…

"…"

Lori waits and sees…

"..."

Lori waits and sees…

"…"

Lori waits and sees…

"..."

Lori waits and sees…

"…"

Lori waits and sees…

"Is Lori gone? Her authoritarian nature scares me into submission…"

"AHA! You're intimidated by me!" Lori announces!"

Lori's king attacks Lincoln's queen; 5 hits to go!

"Yipe!"

"Lincoln, I demand answers! Why are you so afraid of me!?" Lori yells forcefully

"Because of situations like these!"

Lori's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 4 hits to go!

"What do you mean?" Lori asks in a calm, yet firm tone

"You turn our house into a totalitarian state when mom and dad leave on their date nights!"

"But you saw that I only do that to keep our house from ending up in a pile of rubble." Lori counters

Lori's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 3 hits to go!

"True, I do acknowledge it was necessary. But you still turned our house into a makeshift prison. Isn't that right, warden Loud?"

Lincoln's queen attacks Lori's queen; 5 hits to go!

Lori waits and sees…

"Or how about that you'd only use your brother as a means to an end!"

Lori waits and sees…

"You know what I'm talking about! It was when we went on a double date with the Santiago children at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet, remember?!"

"I did that to hook you up with Ronnie Anne!" Lori decried to him

"No, you didn't! You did it to try to get back together with Bobby! That was a lie and you know it!"

Lincoln's queen attacks Lori's queen; 4 hits to go!

"Alright, I admit it, but everything worked out in the end, right?"

Lori's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 2 hits to go!

"You see me as nothing but a slave!" Lincoln shouted at her

Lori waits and sees…

"You used me as a footstool!" Lincoln yelled at her

"I'm sorry, but that was to teach you a lesson."

"Yeah, that you are a horrible sister!"

Lincoln's queen attacks Lori's queen; 3 hits to go!

"I want to make amends. I want to be your sister again!"

Lori's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 1 hit to go!

"Maybe stop ordering us around, and maybe we'll comply."

"But then how will you listen to what I say?"

"If the situation is serious enough, we'll band together." Lincoln assures her

"I promise to be less demanding."

"Ok, I'll hold you to that."

"I'll change for the better, Lincoln. You'll see."

Lori's queen attacks Lincoln's queen. It shatters, revealing a Lori figurine.

* * *

"Alright, sis. My turn."

Luna takes Lori's place. Truth Timer restored to 100%.

"Hey bro, why do you look so nervous?" Luna questions

"Because, everyone is out to get me, Luna!" Lincoln answers

"Aren't you being a little paranoid, bro?

Luna's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 5 hits to go!

"You say "paranoia", I say "self-preservation.""

"Why do you say that it's self-preservation?"

"Haven't you experienced the chaos in the Loud house? I have to be on standby when something invariably goes wrong."

"Do you think someone is out to get you?"

Luna's king attacks Lincoln's queen; 4 hits to go!

"Yes"

"Who?"

"Everyone!"

Lincoln's queen attacks Luna's queen; 5 hits to go!

"What do you mean, little dude?"

"When we fought for dad's work bonus."

Luna waits and sees…

"Yeah, we all went crazy that day, huh?

"But didn't we agree to share money from that point onward?"

Luna's rook attacks Lincoln's queen; 3 hits to go!

"Is there anything else you can remember?"

"Sure, Luna, when everyone got torn up about the dress."

Luna waits and sees…

"It didn't matter who owned the dress first, they both looked good in it, right?"

"Yeah, I agree."

Luna's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 2 hits to go!

"Little bro, remember when I made your first concert unforgettable?"

"How could I forget, a mall cop arrested me for buying scalped tickets."

"Yeah, but then I tried to bust you out, but got caught by Bobby, of all people."

"That was funny."

"It sure was, and when we took the stage along with the SMOOCH members…"

"Those were good times."

Luna's bishop attacks Lincoln's queen; 1 hit to go!

"So, what's your point?" Lincoln asked

"You shouldn't be afraid of us, mate! We'd love to make you happy!"

Luna's queen attacks Lincoln's queen. It shatters, revealing a Luna figurine.

"Ooh, ooh… me next!" Lola blurts out

* * *

Lola takes Luna's spot. Truth timer restored to 100%.

"Ah, if it isn't the princess…I'm going to enjoy this."

Lincoln takes out his pink cravat and ties it on his shirt.

"Uh, Lincoln? What are you doing?" Lola enquired

"Preparing to out-logic you in a battle of wits. I thought I'd look the part. I just need a fuchsia suit to complete it…oh well, you might look beautiful, but with this cravat, I look debonair!" Lincoln boasts

"Lincoln, be honest with me. Do you think I'm a horrible person?"

"Yes"

Lincoln's queen attacks Lola's queen; 5 hits to go!

"But…I'm becoming more…approachable! Right, Linky?"

Lola's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 5 hits to go!

"Yes, but it's almost unnoticeable." Lincoln admits

"Lincoln?"

"Yes, Lola?"

"Do you believe that I'm responsible for Lana's death?"

Lola's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 4 hits to go!

Lincoln begins break down! He covers his head with his hands and sobs profusely!

("Oh no! He's having an emotional meltdown! I'd better think before I say something, or I might permanently damage his psyche! The best thing to do is to calmly reassure him that it's not his fault!") Lola thinks

"It's my fault that Lana died!" Lincoln blubbers

"No, It's not. Lana sacrificed herself for you. It's MY fault for causing this mess in the first place!"

Lola's rook attacks Lincoln's queen; 3 hits to go!

"You're right! You've always been a spiteful little bitch right from the start, haven't you, Lola?!" Lincoln yells, with a hint of sadness in his voice

Lola waits and sees…

"How about when you made up those fake stories? You just wanted to punish me!"

"It was for a good reason, you were ignoring your family!"

"Can't I have some alone time once in a while?!"

Lincoln's queen attacks Lola's queen; 4 hits to go!

Lola waits and sees…

"It's not just me, you mentally tortured Lana too! You forced her to tell that fake story where you murdered her pet frog, Seymour! How do you think Lana felt?!"

Lincoln's queen attacks Lola's queen; 3 hits to go!

"But Lana forgave me, even when I blackmailed her!"

Lola's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 2 hits to go!

Lincoln waits and sees…

"Lana and I love each other! We even willingly gave up being Bluebells because we didn't think it would be worth it to join without our twin! I love Lana, and I love **YOU,** Lincoln! Even if it doesn't seem like it!"

Lola's queen attacks Lincoln's queen; 1 hit to go!

"Lana and you are my everything! It was because of her promise and your absolute kindness, even when I didn't deserve it, that made me stop my suicide attempt. Being Lana's twin, I took her death the hardest. I decided that life wasn't worth living anymore. Not in a world without her. But, after remembering her promise and her kindness toward you, she convinced me to stand by you. I formed the Inner Circlet and finished what Lana started. Now, all of your sisters are nice to you again, and it was all thanks to our efforts! Linky…you're free."

Lola's queen attacks Lincoln's queen. It shatters, revealing a Lola figurine.

Lincoln takes off his cravat and hands it to her.

"Huh, why are you giving me this?" Lola asks him

Lincoln kneels down and locks eyes with her.

"You're just like Lana…you both have the same logical conclusions. You probably won't wear this, but take it…as a memento from me."

"Thanks Lincoln, I'll treasure it always…"

"Ok, my turn!" Leni chimes in

* * *

Leni takes Lola's spot! Truth Timer restored to 100%.

Upon catching a glance of Leni, Lincoln begins to have a panic attack! He starts to flee the area. He begins sweating profusely, and his heartbeat goes into an arrhythmiatic state! Suddenly, _Trifle Of Fate_ from Gyakuten Kenji 2 begins to play!

"Oh no, Lincoln's heartbeats are off sync! If this continues, Lincoln will die!"

"Looks like our brother had a _fatal encounter_ and a _fatal attraction_ , ha ha, get it?"

"Shut up, Luan! This is serious!"

"I will attempt to shock his heart to restore to heartbeat back to normal! We have to catch him!"

Lincoln flees from Lori and Leni's room and heads down to the basement! The sisters pursue him.

"Lincoln, talk to me! Why did you run away!" Leni pleads

Leni's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 5 hits to go!

"Because I could feel you watching me, staring me, judging me…"

"There he is! Get him!" Lisa shouted

Lisa tries to electrocute him, but Lincoln evades her attack! He bolts it to the living room! The sisters continue to pursue him. His arrhythmia worsens…

"I won't judge you for anything! Anything you'd do, I'd tell you to go for it!"

Leni's king attacks Lincoln's queen; 4 hits to go!

Lincoln begins to breathe easier.

"You really mean that?"

"Of course, Linky."

"He's over here! Lincoln, please stay still!"

Lincoln dashes up the stairs and enters Luna and Luan's room! Leni follows him, while the other sisters try to catch up with him. His arrhythmia worsens…he begins to feel dizzy.

"Lincoln, Lana wanted me to protect you, so let me do so."

"Lana trusted you…?" Lincoln said awestruck

"Yes, I was the 3rd member of the Covalence Network, back when it was only you and Lana against our entire family. She didn't judge me, she recruited me first. And from then on, I was a valuable ally, to both of you."

Leni's knight attacks Lincoln's queen; 3 hits to go!

"He's in my room, dudettes! Let's hold him down so he doesn't escape again!"

Lincoln escapes and flees into Lana and Lola's room. Leni tries to continue to reason with him. His arrhythmia worsens…he begins to lose his sense of balance due to the blood deprivation.

"We won't judge you for anything."

"You all judged me when you mocked my costume!" Lincoln counters

Lincoln's queen attacks Leni's queen; 5 hits to go!

Leni waits and sees…

"You guys might not care about it, but I do. You should respect that!"

"Lincoln, you're right. I shouldn't have laughed."

Leni's rook attacks Lincoln's queen; 2 hits to go

"Alright, no more running away! Take your shock already!"

Lincoln runs to Lisa and Lily's room! Leni continues to try and convince him to stop running away. His arrhythmia worsens…he begins to feel fatigued.

"We don't want to lose you again!" Leni begs

"What are you talking about?"

"We were by your side for 42 days, hoping you'd wake up! I didn't know what I was going to do if you were gone!"

"Do…do you really mean that? Am I that important to you?"

"Yes!"

Leni's bishop attacks Lincoln's queen; 1 more to go!

"Lincoln take the electric shock, the other option is death! Please, we want our brother to stay with us!"

Leni's queen attacks Lincoln's queen. It shatters, revealing a Leni figurine.

* * *

Lincoln falls unconscious. The sisters rush up to Lisa and Lily's room while Lisa electrocutes him.

CLEAR!

Lisa checks his heartbeat on a portable electrocardiogram.

"His heartbeat is stabilized. Thank goodness. Leni, you were just in time, any longer and Lincoln would have kicked the bucket."

Lisa throws a cup of ice water at him. He wakes up.

"Ahh, Cold! Lisa? What happened?"

"You tried to run away. We had to shock you so that your erratic heartbeat would be defibrillated."

"Ok…thanks, I guess?"

They all head back to Lori and Leni's room.

"It's my turn…"

* * *

Luan takes Leni's spot; Truth Timer and Health Meter restored to 100%.

"Lincoln, are you happy?" Luan enquired

"Well, Lana's dead and Lynn's in prison, so no, Luan. I'm not happy." Lincoln replies sardonically

Lincoln's queen attacks Luan's queen; 5 hits to go!

"I want to make you happy again."

Luan's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 5 hits to go!

"Really? Even though I don't deserve happiness?"

"Don't say that, Linc! Everyone deserves happiness!"

"Well Lynn took mine away…"

"But she can't take away anymore."

Luan's rook attacks Lincoln's queen; 4 hits to go!

"You know what makes us unhappy?"

Luan waits and sees…

"Your April Fool's day pranks! Some of those could have KILLED us!"

Lincoln's queen attacks Luan's queen; 4 hits to go!

"I thought you enjoyed my pranks, don't you find them amazing?"

Luan's king attacks Lincoln's queen; 3 hits to go!

"Ok, some of them WERE pretty awesome, like the flour bomb and the wrapped house. But you really need to control your pranking!"

Lincoln's knight attacks Luan's queen; 3 hits to go!

"Lincoln, I didn't know I made you unhappy…"

Lincoln waits and sees…

"I've failed in my job as a comedienne."

"Hey, the Luan I know wouldn't get so down!"

"You're right, Linc. I'll just try something else to make you happy!"

Luan's bishop attacks Lincoln's queen; 2 hits to go!

"Are you still my assistant?"

"Yes"

"Then what do you say we go make some kids happy?"

Luan's pawn attacks Lincoln's queen; 1 hit to go!

"Do I make you happy?"

"Yes, Luan. Even though you get a little psychotic on April Fool's day, you're still my 4th favorite sister. Next to Lana, Lily and Leni."

"I can see why you'd choose them. Lana and Leni are both so nice to everyone and who could resist Lily? But…I glad you think of me in such high regard."

"I'm always happy, when I'm around you, Luan."

Luan's queen attacks Lincoln's queen. It shatters, revealing a Luan figurine.

* * *

"We've all shattered our queens. But there's still one queen surrounding him! It has to be Lynn's!" Lisa deduces

"But how can we break that one? Lynn's in prison in Muskegon, along the western border of Michigan!" Luna questions

"I'll do it."

Lana's ghost materializes in front the siblings. Lincoln's last queen shatters itself and manifests into a ghostly version of Lynn Jr! 2 black knights, a black rook and a black bishop appear!

Lana takes Luan's place. Truth Timer restored to 100%.

("First, I'll ask about the incident on April 26…")

"What happened on April 26?!" Lana shouts at Lynn

"Don't you remember? You turned the balance of power to 8-5 in your favor."

Lana waits and sees…

"Aww, how precious, my little firebrand has cooled off…well, I don't expect you to understand, but there is a very delicate balance in this house."

"Oh, tell me more about this "balance?""

"Well, it should be 10-1. Lincoln is the odd one out."

"Funny, if you really wanted balance, it should be 6-6, not 10-1!"

Lana's knight attacks Lynn's knight; 2 hits to go!

"Alright, 10-1 isn't balanced, I'll admit, but it's 10 girls vs 1 boy, the one would easily win."

"Are you seriously that stupid or are you obfuscating? You could easily gang up on him with that big of a difference!"

Lana's pawn attacks Lynn's knight; 1 hit to go!

"Gang up? Sure, when we're all together, but when it's 1 v 1, Lincoln will win!"

"You just cornered yourself, Lynn. You single handedly beat him in any sport!"

Lana's pawn attacks Lynn's knight! It shatters!

"Err, that's right! Lincoln is a pathetic loser and he always will be!"

("I've got the motive, but now I need to find out about how she deals with interference!")

Truth Timer restored to 100%.

"What if someone were to help Lincoln?" Lana asks

"They'd be an enemy too!" Lynn retorts

"So, would that make me an enemy?"

Lana's pawn attacks Lynn's knight; 2 hits to go!

"No, Lana. You could never be my enemy!"

"But you just said that anyone who joins Lincoln is your enemy! If I joined him, then I would be your enemy!"

"Lana, please! I'm just trying to protect you from him!"

"Why would I need protection from our brother? He's a pacifist!"

Lana's knight attacks Lynn's knight; 1 hit to go!

"Because he's trying to seduce you!"

"Are you kidding me, that is the worst argument I've ever heard. Lincoln isn't depraved enough to commit incest. This is a flimsy counterpoint and you know it!"

Lana's queen attacks Lynn's knight! It shatters!

("Finally, the truth is slowly coming to light! I should ask her how her relationships with the other sisters are.")

Truth Timer restored to 100%.

"How well do you get along with the other sisters, Lynn?"

"Well enough. I mean we bicker sometimes, but that's what siblings do."

"And when you get into arguments, you try to win them, right?"

"Of course, I'll win them at any cost!"

"Oh, would you beat up the other person if you believe, they're wrong?"

Lana's rook attacks Lynn's rook; 3 hits to go!

"If they're wrong, yes."

"And what about Lily? If she's wrong?"

"Simple, I'm not cruel enough to abuse a baby, so I look her the eyes and firmly tell her "no" if she's wrong, but she's smart, so that rarely happens."

"So, you WON'T abuse Lily? What about the other siblings?

Lana's knight attacks Lynn's rook; 2 hits to go!

"Come on, that's just to instill order! Lori beat me up with a loaf of bread once, when I told her we were out."

"And what happened after the fact, did Lori apologize?"

"Yes"

"So, she didn't want to hurt you, but felt she had to?"

"Yes"

"Ok, so that's how Lori deals with her siblings, but what about you? How do you deal with your siblings, Lynn?"

Lana's bishop attacks Lynn's rook; 1 hit to go!

"When they aggravate me, I aggravate back!"

"So, you do beat them up?!"

"Yeah"

"Why don't I see that?"

"Because I try to hold back for you, Lana. Though sometimes I slip up and you see me attack one of our siblings…"

Lana's queen attacks Lynn's rook! It shatters!

("This is it! The one question I want the answers to the most…!")

Truth Timer restored to 100%.

"Why do you hate Lincoln?!" Lana shrieks at Lynn

"Because he gets in my way!" Lynn shoots back

"So, it is about YOU then, isn't it?"

Lana's pawn attacks Lynn's bishop; 4 hits to go!

"It's all about me! I've trained my entire life for the chance I can compete in the big leagues with some of my favorite sports and that little Y do you exist chromosome ruins my perfectly crafted training regimen!"

"Were you always this selfish?"

Lana's pawn attacks Lynn's bishop; 3 hits to go!

"No, I just want to be the best!"

"Funny, I remember seeing someone who wanted to be the best in Lincoln's video game, he abused his power and treated his only son like trash, until said son finally got the balls to prosecute his scumbag of a father and send him to prison for prosecutorial misconduct, tampering with evidence, conspiracy to assassinate the president of an East-Asian country that totally isn't a parody of China and child abuse…a mental version. It seems something like that has happened now. You wanted to be the best? Lincoln called you out for your crimes, but you were too stubborn to listen, so I had to get it through your thick skull that what you were doing was wrong!"

Lana's queen attacks Lynn's bishop; 2 hits to go!

"What?! I'm not that bad…am I?" Lynn said with a quavering voice

"No, you're worse. You tried to assassinate your own brother!"

"I just wanted to help you! I wanted to free you from Lincoln's authority!"

"I didn't need your help! I **VOLUNTEERED** to help him, because that's what a sister would do for her brother, and vice versa!"

Lana's king attacks Lynn's bishop; 1 hit to go!

"I wanted to help get him out of the bind you put him through on March 13. Is a baseball game really worth more to you than Lincoln? I know what my choice is, I know what our sisters' choices are, I know what Lincoln's choice was. I hope your choice was worth it, Lynn. You're no longer needed anymore. Lincoln is the best now, and we'd be glad to follow him. He doesn't have a superiority complex like you do. He's determined, patient, brave, integral, perseverant, kind and just. He loves us all and we all love him, and nothing will ever change that!"

Lana's queen attacks Lynn's queen! It shatters! The Lynn ghost dissipates! A Lynn figurine is left behind. The VR chessboard disappears and the final logic chess match is done.

LOGIC CHESS; COMPLETE!

* * *

"It's finally over…" Lana said as she breathed a sigh of relief

"Our brother is finally back to normal." Lori stated

Lucy finally comes back to the room and suddenly flashes a magatama at Lincoln!

TAKE THAT!

5 red psyche locks surround Lincoln! _Examination/Allegro 2001_ suddenly plays!

"Lincoln, are you sure you're ok?" Lucy questioned

"Yes. I'm good!"

"Then why are there psyche locks surrounding you?"

"I'm not sure, I swear I'm not hiding anything!"

Lucy presents Lincoln's Suit!

"Don't you remember the time Leni wanted to hang out with you?"

The top-left psyche lock shatters!

"Yes, we had a fashion show to flaunt our creations. Leni was the announcer and had Lola model her dress, while I modeled my suit."

"Ok, do you remember this?"

Lucy presents Lola's Cravat!

"Hey, Lincoln gave that to me!" Lola counters

"Lincoln, you didn't make it for yourself, did you? You made it for Lola from the start!"

The top-right psyche lock shatters!

"Linky, is that true?" Lola asks him

"Yes, you caught me red handed."

"Thank you…Lincoln." Lola said while giving an adorable smile to him. This one is not one of her manipulative smiles, but rather, a genuine one, formed from Lincoln's kindness.

"Concentrate on this item."

Lucy presents Luan's Comic!

"How could I forget, Luan's Comic. She was inspired by mine and made her own. Honestly, I love it…I'll treasure it forever."

The bottom-left psyche lock shatters!

"And what about this one?"

Lucy presents Luna's DL-6 track!

"Luna does have a rocking personality, doesn't she? She made that for me to listen to when I woke up from the coma."

The bottom-right psyche lock shatters!

"Lincoln, I want you to focus on this item. It's very important!"

Lucy presents Lana's Covalence Network Badge!

"Lana…"

The center psyche lock shatters. Lincoln is back to normal!

"Now we have our brother back." Lucy states confidently

"Lincoln, let's all hang out today. It's your choice…you deserve it after all you've been through. This time, I'm paying." Luan offers

"Sure, Luan, I know the perfect place…" Lincoln responds

* * *

 **Author's Note: The final logic chess match is complete! This is why Lincoln's logic chess pieces weren't revealed in chapter 13's author's note, to keep from spoiling this chapter. As for the Mental Tortures, here is a list of all of them.**

 **Lily: Egkataleipsisphobia (fear of abandonment)  
** **Lisa: Perfectionism  
** **Lola: Survivor's Guilt  
** **Lana: Sycophancy  
** **Lucy: Nihilism  
** **Lincoln: Isolationism  
** **Lynn: Kokkinophobia (fear of the color red)  
** **Luan: Depression  
** **Luna: Paranoia  
** **Leni: Krisesphobia (fear of judgement) (literal translation: fear of crises)  
** **Lori: Aythentiaphobia (fear of authority)**

 **Lori's mental torture is αυθεντία in Greek. This string of letters is alpha-upsilon-theta-epsilon-nu-tau-iota-alpha, which I transliterated to aythentia. Leni's mental torture is κρίση in Greek. This string of letters is kappa-rho-iota-sigma-eta, which I transliterated to krise. Lynn's mental torture is κόκκινου in Greek. This string of letters is kappa-omicron-kappa-kappa-iota-nu-omicron, which I transliterated to kokkino. Lily's mental torture is εγκατάλειψης in Greek. This massive concatenation of letters is epsilon-gamma-kappa-alpha-tau-alpha-lambda-epsilon-iota-psi-eta-sigma, which I transliterated to egkataleipsis. All that was left was to add φόβος in Greek, transliterated to phobos, meaning fear, and there is 4 of the Mental Tortures' names. I used a translator for this (not Google Translate, because everyone knows how god awful it is at back-translating), so someone who knows and/or speaks Greek can tell me how wrong I am at coming up with these names.**

* * *

 **This is how to pronounce the Grecian Mental Torture names.**

 **Egkataleipsisphobia: Egg-a-tal-lie-sis-phobia  
** **Kokkinophobia: Co-kin-o-phobia  
** **Krisesphobia: Cre-sis-phobia  
** **Aythentiaphobia: Au-then-tia-phobia**

* * *

 **The personalities of the Mental Tortures are determined both by the name of the torture and how Lincoln reacts to it. They also have a signature item to match said personalities.**

 **Aythentiaphobia: It looks like Lori in a policewoman uniform. As the name suggests, she has a personality that exudes authority, so she would be most like a police chief. Lincoln fears her the second most out of the Grecian mental tortures. Her signature item is a riding crop, used to subjugate Lincoln. She could also be compared to a tyrant or dictator with how she abuses her power.**

 **Krisesphobia: It looks like Leni in a judge's outfit. She's actually one of the nicer mental tortures, as she tries to be helpful to Lincoln. However, she is one of the weaker manifestations. Her signature item is a judge's gavel that's about as big as a sledgehammer. Luckily, it's just an aesthetic item.**

 **Paranoia: It looks like Luna wearing a purple and green variation of her original outfit. She is one of the strongest manifestations, and completely overrides Krises' influence on Lincoln. She actually changes Lincoln's brain to focus more on the id section, meaning he acts like a wild animal completely focused on staying alive, even when nothing is trying to hurt him. Her signature item is a bottle of water. Hey, if you're going to be running away from almost everything, you don't want to die from dehydration. Sadly, since Paranoia is a product of Lincoln's mind, the water is a mirage.**

 **Depression: It looks like Luan in her mime outfit. She is the nicest of the Mental Tortures and won't even attempt to attack or corrupt Lincoln directly. However, she indirectly can cause Lincoln to feel glum. Depression cannot control this, and it always happens whenever Lincoln is close to her. The depression is just pensive sadness, it's not like crippling or suicidal depression either. She and Lincoln get along great, as both of them share stories of how they're suffering. Oddly, it makes both of them feel a little bit happier. Her signature item is a happy theater mask, which is how Lincoln sees the real Luan. Someone who strives to make everyone around her happy, but isn't happy herself, yet she still finds the mental strength to carry on with her life. Lincoln greatly admires her for this.**

 **Kokkinophobia: It looks like Lynn Jr wearing a bloodstained jersey. Lincoln fears her the most out of the Grecian mental tortures, and it's easy to see why. It makes him fear EVERYTHING with the color red. Marinara sauce on a pizza? Yes. A red shirt? Yes. Red traffic lights? Yes. His own blood? Yes. This fear also comes built in with hemophobia, the fear of blood, for obvious reasons. She is also the most aggressive of the mental tortures, tormenting Lincoln any chance she can get! Luckily, her manifestation strength is somewhere in the middle. Her signature item is tungsten brass knuckles, the sooner to kill Lincoln with. His kokkinophobia is so dangerous because Lincoln still hasn't accepted that Lynn is a horrible person that tried to murder him.**

 **Isolationism: It looks like Lincoln. This is Lincoln's own personal torture. It reminds him that he just wants alone time that will never come to be. His big family, his group of friends, his future acquaintances when he gets a job, interacting with people in the hustle and bustle of the city. All he wants for Lincoln is to be by himself for a while. No distractions, just him and his own thoughts. He won't even do anything to Lincoln. His signature item is the Noise-B-Gone earbuds. Lincoln already accepted his desire for companionship, and as such, Isolationism has already readjusted to Lincoln acceptance of this fact.**

 **Nihilism: It looks like Lucy. It even has the same personality as Lucy. This mental torture convinces Lincoln about the futility of life and to just give up on it. This one could be dangerous as it can goad Lincoln into suicide, though this isn't her intention. Her signature item is a pen with red ink that she doodles in her book with.**

 **Survivor's Guilt: It Looks like Lola wearing a military uniform. She reminds him that it's all his fault Lana died. She doesn't physically attack him, but she mentally corrupts him. This is the second strongest manifestation, because Lincoln agrees with her on some level. Basically, she's strong because Lincoln himself is giving her strength! This is the only Mental Torture to influence more than Lincoln, as Lola also has Survivor's Guilt. Her signature item is Lana's cap, to further drive the point home that Lincoln did this.**

 **Sycophancy: It looks like Lana. This mental torture desperately wants Lincoln to be with her. To make sure he wants to be with her, she flatters him any chance she gets. Sycophancy suffers from major separation anxiety and needs to be in the company of someone to stay secure. Sycophancy is completely harmless, although she can get annoyingly clingy, but that's only because she needs companionship. Lincoln sees Sycophancy differently however. He sees her flattery as an attempt to get into his pants. He would even say stuff like "You're only flattering me so you can have my babies" or some other bizarre sentence like that. The real Lana would be disgusted to hear stuff like this. Luckily, once Lincoln found out Lana was going along with his plan because of loyalty, and not sycophancy, she changed to be more confident and devoted in Lincoln's subconscious. Sycophancy's signature item is a locket with a picture of Lincoln and Lana together with an engraving of the words "We'll always be together" etched into it.**

 **Perfectionism: It looks like Lisa in a lab coat. This mental torture is the exact opposite of Sycophancy and Isolationism. Though she prefers companionship, she acts aloof. She rarely manifests though, as she doesn't want to be included in Lincoln's drama. She's pretty nice, though, since she doesn't do anything to help or hurt Lincoln. Lincoln himself inflicts her torture by comparing himself to Lisa and recognizing that he will never be as good as her, no matter how hard he tries. Perfectionism is somewhat concerned about this behavior, but she's simply too busy to help him. Her signature item is a paper with a complex formula written on it.**

 **Egkataleipsisphobia: It looks like Lily. Remember when you got all the attention by being either an only child, or by being the youngest child currently? Remember when your younger sibling was born, all the attention shifted from you to them? That feeling...that's egkataleipsisphobia. Lincoln is actually shown in canon to have egkataleipsisphobia. In the episode "Ties That Bind", when he thinks his family will kick him out, and in "Out Of The Picture", where he and Clyde have this feeling when they realize they wouldn't be in any school club group photos. It's the third strongest manifestation since there is evidence Lincoln has this in the show. Her signature item is a family photo of the Louds. Seeing as she is a product of Lincoln's mind, she can talk in complete sentences, unlike Lily, who's just learning to form multiple syllable words. This fear subsided once Lincoln realized that his family would never abandon him, even if some of the episodes make us think otherwise.**

* * *

 **And here are all the encounters with them, not counting Perfectionism, since hers is already shown. You can only get these with the corresponding Loud sister and if Lincoln's HP is less than 50%:**

 **Aythentiaphobia**

 **"Huh, who's that?"**

 **"Are you Lori Loud?"**

 **"Yes, who are you?"**

 **"So, you're the one little Lincoln was talking about. I'm a big fan of your work. The name's Aythentiaphobia, but you can call me Aythen (pronounced: ah-then)**

 **"What are you doing to Lincoln?"**

 **"Teaching him to respect authority."**

 **[She whips him with her riding crop! Lincoln winces in pain. Lori is shocked by what she sees!]**

 **"Stop hurting my brother!"**

 **"Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black? Lori, I'm your mental torture of Lincoln. This is how he sees you, beautiful. Remember when you tried to turn him into a human pretzel for entering your room, or when you used him as a footstool, or when you yell at him because of your captivation over that delectable hunk of Hispanic specimen that you call Bobby? Good times, Lori, good times. Well, I'm going see if you break your own brother's psyche. Whether you do or don't, either way, it's going to be a spectacle! Nice meeting you, beautiful."**

 **Krisesphobia**

 **"OMG! Are you the world-famous fashion designer, Leni Loud?"**

 **"Totes, are you a fan?"**

 **"No, but I need your help."**

 **"With what?"**

 **"I want to talk with Lincoln, but he keeps running away from me!"**

 **"Seriously, he's trying to abscond me too!"**

 **"What? You should call the cops on him!"**

 **"Not ACCOST, abscond!"**

 **"Well, sorry Leni, but I need to help Lincoln. Nice talking to you!"**

 **"Wait, what's your name?"**

 **"It's Krisesphobia, just call me Krises for short."**

 **Paranoia**

 **"Well, rockstar, Lincoln's told me all about you."**

 **"What did he say?"**

 **"That you're a rocking superstar of course!"**

 **"Nice!"**

 **"But he thinks there's an ulterior motive to your niceness."**

 **"That's bogus."**

 **"Yeah, now he thinks everyone's out to get him. Maybe you can change his mind?"**

 **"Anything for my bro!"**

 **"Rocking, I'll leave you to it."**

 **Depression**

 **"Oh, hey Luan."**

 **"Who are you?"**

 **"Lincoln's friend. I'm Depression, and you're Happiness, are you not?"**

 **"Are you messing with my brother?"**

 **"Not at all, we just talk about our problems."**

 **"Oh"**

 **"So, Linc's told me about you. About how you keep up a happy façade to try and make our siblings forget about their woes, despite you hurting over Lana's death. Lincoln finds this very admirable of you, Luan. It's no wonder he loves you."**

 **"I just want to make everyone happy."**

 **"You do, now...make your brother happy. It's what he wants."**

 **"I won't let you down."**

 **Kokkinophobia**

 **"Hey, you aren't Lynn!"**

 **"No, I'm Lana, who are you?"**

 **"Lincoln's mental torture of Lynn, the name's Kokkinophobia."**

 **"Are you hurting our precious brother?!"**

 **"I don't have to! He's hurting himself by making me hurt him. See, I'm just in Lincoln's head, and every time he sees the color red, he has a PTSD flashback to when Lynn almost killed him. He's even afraid of his own blood!"**

 **"Lincoln..."**

 **"Because I like you, here's how to help your loser brother. Convince him that Lynn is a horrible person, he should just accept the fact that she's too far gone."**

 **"Yeah, he should've realized that when once he survived Lynn's onslaught."**

 **"Well, see you. I've got to make his life miserable again, ciao!"**

 **Isolationism**

 **"Huh, where am I?"**

 **"In the isolation room. In here, there's no one here to bother you. You can do whatever you want to. Stay for as long as you like."**

 **"Ok, thanks."**

 **"See, isn't it nice to have a little alone time after the chaos of your life?"**

 **"Yes"**

 **"Good, just relax. You deserve this, after all that you've been through."**

 **"I'll be waiting for the next time you visit, Lincoln. Goodbye."**

 **Nihilism**

 **"Who are you?"**

 **"The manifestation of how Lincoln sees you, Lucy. I'm Nihilism, and I think life has no point just like you."**

 **"..."**

 **"Congratulations, you're halfway there! You just need to lower his health to 0%!"**

 **"Why would I want to do that?"**

 **"So that he finally realizes you're right, Luce!"**

 **"No, I want my brother to stay with us!"**

 **"Then you'd better convince him to stay. I think he's coveting the feeling of an icy cold blade sliding across his wrists."**

 **!**

 **"Well, good luck, I guess."**

 **Sycophancy**

 **"Please Lincoln, I love you!"**

 **"I love you too, but not in that way!"**

 **"It doesn't have to be like that, I just want to be your friend!"**

 **"Sure you do..."**

 **"I'm serious! I aspire to be like you! Remember when you got everyone else out the door on time? When you gave your sisters the idea to buy their own pool, when we saved the frogs?!"**

 **"You just want to have sex with me, don't you? You're disgusting! You'd know I'd never commit incest!**

 **"I don't."**

 **"You just want have the privilege of having my children, don't you?!"**

 **"No..."**

 **Lincoln! What the heck are you talking about?! Snap out of it!"**

 **"Huh?!"**

 **"You're having your delusions again! I'd never do that to you, Linc! You're my brother, and nothing will change that!"**

 **Survivor's Guilt**

 **"Hey, Lola."**

 **"What are you doing?"**

 **"Reminding our "dear" brother it's his fault our twin died."**

 **"But it's not his fault!"**

 **"Lincoln seems to think it is."**

 **"Linky?"**

 **"Yes, he wasn't there to protect her like a big brother should have been, he could have stopped it!"**

 **"No, everyone else was too far away from her when it happened."**

 **"Ha, Lincoln should have died instead of her. Lincoln is thinking this right now as we speak!"**

 **"He is?!"**

 **"You'd better hurry Lola, his guilt might get the best of him. At least they'll be together in death then..."**

 **"No, it won't come to that! I WILL save you, big brother, for Lana, and for your sake too!"**

 **Egkataleipsisphobia**

 **"Huh?"**

 **"Lincoln, you're not needed anymore."**

 **"What?"**

 **"You haven't been needed since 2008."**

 **"No, that's not..."**

 **"No one cares about you anymore. Your family, your friends, they all deserted you."**

 **"They wouldn't."**

 **"They did, the only one you can trust is yourself."**

 **"No, they still love me!"**

 **"Not anymore."**

 **[Lily burns a picture of the Louds together]**

 **"NO!"**

 **"Sorry Lincoln, but it's true."**

 **[Lincoln weeps on the floor uncontrollably]**

* * *

 **If one of the sisters' Health Meters are empty, then they've failed to change Lincoln's mind. It also has an added side effect where Lincoln's psyche is completely shattered. The effects change depending on which sister failed, so here's what happens to Lincoln if the sisters fail to shatter their queens.**

 **Lily: Lincoln, being thoroughly convinced his family doesn't want him anymore, runs away from home, never to be seen again.  
** **Lisa: He becomes syngenesophobic of her and will actively try to avoid her.  
** **Lola: Overwhelmed by the immense guilt of not being able to save Lana, he commits suicide to be with her.  
** **Lana: He tries to flatter her to get her to stop in a reverse psychology gambit, but all it does is push Lana further away from him.  
** **Lucy: He becomes emo. Weirdly enough, he makes a better emo than Lucy.  
** **Lincoln: He becomes reclusive and tries to avoid people. It's not a phobia, but he just tries to avoid human contact whenever possible.  
** **Lynn: He believes that he really IS bad luck, thus undoing all of the sisters' hard work.  
** **Luan: The "best" of the psyche breaks, he just feels sad all the time. On the plus side, he hangs out with Luan a lot more because he thinks she can make him happy again.  
** **Luna: Concerned for his safety, Lincoln's family brings in a psychologist, who diagnoses him with schizophrenia. They are forced to put him in a psyche ward. No one is happy about this.  
** **Leni: His mental age counter resets back to 0! Think of it as an 11-year-old acting like a newborn. The family thinks he should be put in an insane asylum, as this behavior is not normal, but Leni volunteers to take care of him until his brain mends itself. Leni gets ostracized for this, but she doesn't care.  
** **Lori: Lincoln's psyche is shattered the most if Lori breaks it. He sees Lori as an abusive mother (and not his obnoxious, but well-meaning older sister) and becomes syngenesophobic of her. But unlike Lisa's, he has a chance of committing suicide with this version of it!**

 **It is impossible for Lily, Lana and Lincoln to shatter Lincoln's psyche, as he already has dealt with their respective mental torture before the sisters start shattering their queens.**

* * *

 **Enough talking about the Mental Tortures, here are some comments on the actual chapter. It looks like Lisa's Psychoseeker works like a charm! She should file a patent for it immediately. Lincoln has ELEVEN black chess pieces you need to break with logic! Even after Egkataleipsisphobia, Sycophancy and Isolationism are immediately changed in Lincoln's subconscious to reflect how he truly feels about Lily, Lana and himself, as represented by the black king and 2 of the black queens shattering, there are still EIGHT black queens to shatter! And we all thought that Yumihiko Ichiyanagi had it bad when he had 5 pieces surrounding him (1 of each type, excluding the king). Actually, this whole chapter is a reference to that scene in Gyakuten Kenji 2, with Lincoln being Yumihiko, and his sisters alternating being in the role of Edgeworth. And in keeping the reference as accurate as possible, every time a piece is shattered, all Truth Timer (and HP, if you lost any (this only happens when you complete the logic chess match in Gyakuten Kenji 2)) bars replenish for the next piece. Why did Lisa call Lincoln a failure as a person? Well, it'd seem like something she'd do, and because that's one of the first things you can do in the logic chess match with Yumihiko (though, this is the blatantly incorrect choice, and you're picking it to see what would happen if you chose it), you take HP damage if you do it, though in Gkyakuten Kenji 2, it would be more like 20%, instead of the 99% here, which is to heighten the dramatic tension of the situation, and it also exposes a Mental Torture, Perfectionism, thus proving that Lisa's Psychoseeker works, and that Lincoln has been repressing his true feelings towards his sisters this whole time, although, if I had sisters that saw I thought negatively of them, it would probably be a good idea to keep them hidden. Yes, each sister has one queen associated with them, that's why they have to keep alternating, one sister can't break all 8 black queens. Besides, Lincoln has some specific issues with each of his sisters, so that's why breaking all of them is a team effort. Ironically, even though Krisesphobia is one of the nicer mental tortures, Lincoln is terrified of her, it comes with the territory of being the incarnation of judgement, though this is all in Lincoln's mind, as Krises doesn't judge him for anything. It's especially dangerous when Lincoln sees Leni, as his heart gets arrythmiatic and off sync. During Leni's logic chess match with Lincoln, both the Truth Timer AND the Health Meter go down at the same time, and the Truth Timer goes down twice as fast! Lincoln can actually die during this scene! Luckily, Leni pulled through just in time! This isn't even Krises' fault! Lincoln was the one who caused his own heart to beat off sync, though no one, not even himself, knows how he did that! Also, major props have to be given to Lana, for being a total badass and breaking Lynn's black queen on Lincoln, which constitutes having an actual logic chess match with Kokkinophobia, an incarnation of Lynn's animosity toward Lincoln! Kokkinophobia has 2 black knights, a black rook and a black bishop, the same setup that Bansai Ichiyanagi from Gyakuten Kenji 2 had! Lana channeled her inner Miles Edgeworth and just decimated Kokkinoyphobia's logic, which would also be Lynn Jr's logic! When Kokkinophobia says "he's trying to seduce you", the original version of this was "he's trying to rape you" (she thinks that Lana would flatter Lincoln just to do THAT to him. Obviously, Lincoln would refuse this). It was changed for obvious reasons, but isn't it ironic that Kokkinophobia accuses Lana of trying to cuddle up to Lincoln, when Lincoln accuses Sycophancy of doing the same thing? Either way, both forms of Lana are innocent in this crime. Apparently, Lincoln is STILL hiding secrets from his sisters, as Lucy finds 5 red psyche locks attached to him. She breaks these by reminding Lincoln of everything his sisters had done for him. In one of the original drafts, Bun-Bun, Lincoln's rabbit plushie would have been one of the 5 items Lucy used to breaking Lincoln's psyche locks. Well, this was a mouthful, but this is the final major conflict of the entire story! The end is in sight!**


	52. Loving Legato

**Chapter Synopsis: The sisters sing a song to Lincoln, telling him just how much they appreciate him**

* * *

We see Luna writing something obsessively. There are countless re-edits on the paper. Glancing at the calendar for Luan's Funny Business, it is March 21, 2018. It seems that Luna has finally finished on what she was working on.

"Finally, I think this is the one. I've been trying to use the correct lyrics for this. I've been working on this composition for almost a year! It's finally ready...we just need to rehearse it."

Luna calls a sibling meeting and explains the situation. The sisters agree and start rehearsing. Lincoln hears some noise from the incredibly thin walls and tries to investigate, but Luna stops him.

"Sorry bro, it's a sister thing." Luna tells him

Lincoln goes away. It took a few tries, and a few hours, but Luna is finally confident enough that they can sing the verses.

"Alright, girls. Remember to give it your best performance. This is for Lincoln, after all."

* * *

The sisters enter Lincoln's room and begin to sing Luna's song. Lori begins the song by singing her part first. Not because she's the oldest, but because she's the worst singer. She even admitted it in the episode "Party Down"!

Luna starts to play an accompaniment in B major, 3/4 time, a familiar 7 note tune begins to echo throughout the walls of the Loud house.

 **It all started on March 13**

 **The day that gave you grief**

 **It all changed with one game**

 **It would never be the same**

 **On day number sixteen**

 **She was pushed to the extreme**

 **After what she has seen**

 **You'll know what we mean**

Verse 2; Lucy sings…

 **It all started when that little twat**

 **With infernal vitriol, she spat**

 **Hurled countless insults**

 **Her very soul, she did assault**

 **A brother and sister devised a plan**

 **They were sure that they can**

 **Break the superstition**

 **That was their mission.**

Verse 3; Lisa sings…

 **So, it fell to Lana to recruit**

 **Convince them to join her group**

 **And lead them away from those brutes.**

 **It was the members of the Trinity**

 **Lori, Lynn, and Lola, you see**

 **Will restore order violently**

 **The balance is getting unstable**

 **And turns dark for our fable.**

* * *

Luna changes the tune to a 4/4-time, B major song. Verse 4; Lily sings…

 **A bril penny sicks (April 26)**

 **The TOV did restricks (The TOV did restrict)**

 **In took Ana's rife (Lynn took Lana's life)**

 **Caustin evernding pain and stripe (Causing never ending pain and strife)**

 **On May 20 (On May 20)**

 **An nme insighed (An enemy inside)**

 **Decyded on that daigh (Decided on that day)**

 **Too comit flap inside (To commit fratricide)**

Verse 5; Luan sings…

 **It was exposed at the trial**

 **That Lynn was something truly vile**

 **A merciless sociopath**

 **That would destroy all in her tracks**

 **Savino pulled us through**

 **And got justice for Lana and you**

 **Now that we got rid of that blight**

 **We'll be alright**

Verse 6; Luna sings…

 **But you see we persevered**

 **We lasted an entire year**

 **Suffered through tragedy**

 **Thanks to it, we'll be ready**

 **To overcome all ordeals**

 **It's plain to see and feel**

 **Through our bonds we're linked**

 **There are no more chinks**

* * *

Luna changes the accompaniment to a slow A major, 4/4-time signature. Verse 7; Leni sings…

 **It will be her legacy**

 **To repair our family**

 **Dysfunction all but dispelled**

 **Our story ended well**

 **Your sisters will be by your side**

 **We won't ever deride**

 **Our precious brother's likes**

 **We will stop our arguments and fights**

Verse 8; Lola sings…

 **Lana trusted me through and through**

 **She made me promise to protect you**

 **It all started with me, I guess**

 **Putting you under duress**

 **Kindness and generosity**

 **Were what you two have shown me**

 **Those traits have me inspired**

 **To be like the sister whom I've deeply admired**

Verse 9; Lincoln sings…

 **I'm grateful for your support**

 **We have such a strong rapport**

 **I'm so lucky to have you**

 **And everyone knows it's true**

 **Despite all the turbulence**

 **My sisters sought repentance**

 **It was all thanks to our tomboy**

 **For bringing us everlasting joy**

Verse 10; Lana sings…

 **You never accepted my flattery**

 **Not that it matters to me**

 **But it won't override my devotions**

 **And those are my earnest emotions**

 **I've always admired your pacifistic traits**

 **They're what set me straight**

 **It's because of the bond we shared**

 **That let our family be repaired**

* * *

The song ends triumphantly.

"So, bro, what did you think of that song I dedicated just for you? Did you like it?" Luna asks

"I love it, Luna!" Lincoln replies back

"Rad, then the 11 months I spent fine tuning it was all worth it then." Luna comments

Everyone resumes their daily activities once the song was over. It seems Luna Loud has just made another show stopping performance! Take a bow, Luna! You've earned it.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Luna was working on this song ever since she produced and sung the first song. That happened on May 4, 2017. That means that Luna has been trying to perfect this song for 322 days, or 10 months and 18 days, to be exact! She didn't want to perform it for Lincoln, or even tell the other sisters about her top secret project until she thought it was ready. Lincoln deserves to hear Luna's best work. After all, her brother deserves the best from her, don't you agree?**


	53. A Fool's Promise

**Chapter Synopsis: It's April 1st, and we all know what that means...**

* * *

It's nighttime, and we see a thin shadow blend in with the darkness. It watches Lincoln sleep…it continues to gaze at him until something startles it.

"Hey Luan, what are you doing?"

"Watching Lincoln sleep, doesn't he look adorable?"

"Yes, but how long have you been staring at him?"

"About 44 minutes."

"It's late, go back to sleep, Luan."

"Sure Leni, I'll be there soon."

Leni leaves to go back to sleep. Luan approaches him…

"Goodnight Lincoln, I can't wait for us to play together tomorrow."

Luan goes back to her room and reviews some footage. Soon, it will be time for her greatest prank ever! She smiles contently and heads to sleep.

* * *

The next day the Loud siblings' alarms go off, releasing a DEFCON-like wail! It's a day of dread for them. It's April 1st, which means that the psychotic prankster has been released yet again! Luckily, she only comes out to play on April Fool's day. Everyone is preparing for the prank storm by wearing makeshift body armor and trying to cower in fear. Fools, they have no idea that Luan can prank anyone, anytime and anywhere!

Luan heads to the kitchen, while the rest of her family shudder in anticipation.

"What do you think she's doing?"

"I don't know…but let's make a run for it!"

"Are you crazy, she's rigged this place with all sorts of pranks! You don't want to accidently set one off!"

"We can't prank her, that will only make her **EVEN MORE LIKELY** to prank us!"

"I say we sacrifice dad! She wants to prank him the most after he betrayed her!"

"No, we aren't sacrificing anyone!"

A delicious smell wafts from the kitchen. Lola recognizes the aroma.

"Ooh, dessert! Gimme!"

Lola books it to the dining room while the rest of the family tries to stop her. Lola gasps in amazement as she sees 13 lemon meringue pies sitting on the table. Luan is standing in between the entrance to the kitchen and dining room.

"A present from your sweet sister. Enjoy." Luan chimes

* * *

It seems Luan has made pies for everyone. She is a master pastry chef after all. She's had practice from making pies to splat people in the face with, as well as watching Operation: Dessert Storm with her siblings on the Yum! Network.

Lola cuts into one of the pies and tries to eat it. Lola puts the fork in her mouth before Lincoln slaps it out of her hand!

"Lola, no! Don't eat that! It's one of Luan's pranks!" Lincoln shouts

"What are talking about, Linc? Don't you want to sample these pies made by the greatest pastry chef in the world?"

"Oh please." Lisa scoffs "You are definitely NOT the greatest pastry chef in the world. Just because you can make pie, doesn't mean you're an expert of all desserts!"

"You're right, I'm just excited for you to sample my creation. I'll admit it, I'm not the best, but if you like it, it's good enough for me." Luan says "Look, just to prove it to you that this isn't a prank, I'll eat one."

Luan eats one of the pies, nothing happened.

"See, these pies have a _brandished flavor_ of both sweet and savory, mixed with tasty burnt meringue!"

Everyone eats the pies, they taste great! The only one who held out was Lincoln. He looks like he's suffering from some sort of video game caused PTSD. Luan questions what's wrong.

"Lincoln, you haven't tried the pie yet? It's good!" Luan assures him

"Stay away from me, you psycho!" Lincoln shouts at her

* * *

Luan looks visibly heartbroken hearing Lincoln's words.

"Linc, why did you say that…?" Luan said pensively, tears starting to stream down her face

"You're pretending to be nice to lure us into a false sense of security, then, when our guard is lowered, that's when you'll prank us!" Lincoln reasons

"You…don't think…I'm being nice…on purpose?"

"Just leave us alone and stop pranking us!" Lincoln yells at her

Luan bursts into tears and runs away, the rest of the Loud family gives an icy glare at Lincoln…

"What, you all should be thanking me! She won't prank us ever again!"

"Dude, that was way harsh, even for you, little bro!" Luna admonished "I'd better go check on her."

Luna goes to their room and sees Luan wailing over a whole bunch of videotapes. Luna watches one. It's a recording of Luan and Lincoln having fun together.

* * *

"He doesn't love me anymore! Well, Lincoln. Don't worry, I'll grant your wish…"

Luan ties one of those endless rope trick ropes into a noose.

"I won't prank you, or our family, ever again."

Luan hangs the rope on the light fixture on the ceiling, she sidles off of Luna's bunk. The rope tightens around her neck.

"Luna…tell Lincoln… I love him."

 **"LUAN, NO!"**

Luna hastily tries to undo the noose. The knot is fastened extremely tight…Luna manages to undo half of the knot, before Luan's face starts to turn blue.

"Please…just let me die. I…don't want to…live knowing that… our brother hates me…" Luan pleads

"No, Luan. I won't let you die! I'm your sister, and I love you!" Luna responds, as she undid more of the knot.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Luna did it. She undid the entire knot! She supports Luan's unconscious body into her bed. And not a moment too soon! Luan was close to blacking out, a few moments after that, and her brain would've been permanently damaged from the oxygen deprivation!

* * *

Luna angrily marches to Lincoln's room. He's playing Gyakuten Kenji 2 on his DS to calm down after his violent outburst. Luna yanks him away from his game and it clatters on the floor. He was playing case 3 of that game…The Inherited Turnabout. He's at the point where Miles Edgeworth is using logic chess to extract information from Yutaka Kazami, a contestant on the dessert cooking show Dansweets, 18 years ago. Edgeworth figures he might know some information about the IS-7 incident. It landed on the exact screen where Yutaka said: ええ・・・私の目標は単なるタイトルの世界で最も偉大なパティシエの! Unfortunately, Lincoln had the fan translation on his copy, so it said: Yes...my goal was more than just the title of the World's Greatest Pastry Chef! Luna puts 2 and 2 together.

"Are you saying that you got that from a **GAME**?!" Luna shrieks at him

"Sure, this is the best game in the entire series, too bad it's a Japanese exclusive. I had to import a copy from over there!"

"It's because of you that Luan tried to kill herself!"

Lincoln's color drains out of him when he heard that.

"Once Luan wakes up, you're going to apologize!"

Lincoln agrees, still in disbelief that she'd do something like this. Lincoln goes over to Luan's room. She just recovered from her unconscious state.

* * *

"Luan?"

"Linc?"

"Why did you try to commit suicide? I just wanted you to stop pranking us."

"It was because I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"Don't be silly! Of course, I love you! Nothing I say will ever change that."

Lincoln embraces Luan…it feels so warm and comforting, to both of them.

"I was so afraid that we'd lose you."

"Luan, I love you. Do you still love me?"

"Of course, Linc! I'll never stop loving you!"

They let of go each other. Luan gestures Lincoln to come over to where she is. Both of them are at the closet, glancing at Luan's VHS collection.

"I've been chronicling your life through all my recordings. I wanted to preserve every second to memory. I even recorded you naked in the bathroom, and while you were in the shower. Though, I thought you would do something funny…"

"Wait, you did what now?!"

"The point is…I can't live without you! Making you and our sisters happy is my entire reason for living!"

"I want you to be happy, too. Maybe you should do things for yourself, rather than for my sake."

"I just wanted you to enjoy something I made for you."

"Luan, I'm sorry about accusing you for pranking us. It's just that you always prank us on April Fool's day."

"I would've accused me, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Lincoln. I promise to stop pranking you and our family, forever."

"Thanks, Luan. Now I know there's a famous comedian in town. Want to go watch him? My treat…"

"Sure, Linc…"

Lincoln leaves the room to prepare.

"I'll do anything to protect you, Linc. I love you, after all. You are the best brother ever…"

* * *

 **Author's Note: Well that got dark fast. Even I was surprised at how this chapter went, and I'm the one who WROTE it! For those who are wondering what Luan's grand prank was...it was to do nothing for this April Fool's day. Think about it, she's been pranking her family so hard for the past 14 years, so they're expecting wherever they go to be laced with pranks set up by Luan. Especially after April Fool's Rules and Fool's Paradise! But no, she's not pranking anyone this year. Her family will be too busy looking for pranks that aren't even there that they'd waste the day away! She was even nice today since her family sees her as someone who will stop at nothing to prank anyone! The trope on TV Tropes that Luan is taking advantage of is called the "paranoia gambit". When Luna says they should sacrifice their dad to Luan's pranks, she's referring to the end of the episode "Fool's Paradise", where the siblings prank Luan back with Lynn Sr being an inside man turned double agent! Sadly, it didn't work, it just made Luan even more determined to prank everyone, especially Lynn Sr for betraying her! Lincoln was right that this was a prank, but he was wrong because the ENTIRE SETUP was the prank, whereas he thought Luan was going to prank them when she lowered the Loud family's guard with the pies. Lincoln was kind of cautious when Luan mentioned she was the greatest pastry chef in the world (jokingly, of course, I mean, this is Luan Loud we are talking about here) but he experienced his video game PTSD when Luan made the subtle illusion of brandished flavor in her lemon meringue pies. For those who don't get it, Brandished Flavor is Yutaka Kazami's theme in Gyakuten Kenji 2. Who is Yutaka Kazami? He is the self-proclaimed world's greatest pastry chef! The reason why Lincoln is experiencing war-like flashbacks is because he's played The Inherited Turnabout, Gyakuten Kenji 2's 3rd case, which deals with the IS-7 incident. Because he's completed the game multiple times before, he knows Yutaka Kazami is the one who killed Paul Holic (although he kind of deserved it for being an even greedier douchebag than EUGENE H KRABS, by price gouging his sculptures' viewing fee, just as Krabs does with the Krabby Patty. I mean seriously, $1.25 to $101 dollars for a sandwich, just because a king is visiting?!). Lincoln knows that Yutaka killed out of pride (and because Holic was blackmailing him by threatening to tell everyone about his ageusia), so when Luan wanted his opinion of her dessert, Lincoln feared that if he didn't lavish her work with praise, she would kill him and a 2nd IS-7 incident will happen, only this time, in real life! Lincoln knows that Luan could kill him if she wanted to, if her prank storms are to be any indication. But that's just Lincoln's paranoia taking over, as Luan would NEVER hurt her family...intentionally, especially Lincoln, who she cherishes so much! Luan is probably one of the nicest sisters, but she's kind of unstable. 3 people are holding her together, those being Lana, Lincoln and Luna. Lana's dead, so she can't rely on her to keep her in check. Lincoln can sway her easily, as she holds his opinion higher than anyone else's, because of scarcity. He is the only boy in the family, after all. And Luna is there to slightly guide her. If both Lincoln and Lana were dead, however, Luan's psyche will continue to slowly fracture and suicide attempts will happen very frequently! Thankfully, that won't happen! Lincoln and Luan need each other, more than they'll ever know. Anyways, that was the final conflict of the story. It should be smooth sailing from here on out! This is the final character vignette, the only thing left to do now is to tie up a few loose ends.**


	54. Loud Council

**Chapter Synopsis: While looking for props to use for her comedy act, Luan finds some important looking documents written by Lana**

* * *

It is April 14, 2018. Luan is busy rummaging through a closet looking for some props she can use for her comedy act, when she finds a piece of paper. It looks half complete, but nevertheless, Luan tries to decrypt it:

Luan,

Thanks for giving me the inspiration to come up with a way to solve our disagreements. Remember when you - - UN -. You looked amazing as -, by the way, - - -! I've hidden 10 other documents for you to edit. After all, shouldn't my - have the honor to do so?

* * *

Luan searches for the other 10 documents. She finds one of them taped to the bottom of Lana's skateboard.

Positions

\- Luan

\- Lincoln

\- Lana

* * *

The rest of the positions are intentionally left blank. The second document is taped under Lincoln's bed. Luan removes it and reads it.

Preamble

This document hereby certifies the - of a united - -, by appointing each sister as a - of each - of the - -. 5 siblings shall be appointed as leaders of the 5 divisions of the - -. - will run the daily functions of the organization. - will run the protection agency. - will handle the economic functions. - will be responsible for any further actions taken. Finally, the most important role will go to -, who will impart justice on any wrongdoers. However, even if the assembly division will be the most used, - will still have supreme authority over all other divisions, unless there is a supermajority vote against it.

Addendum 1: This governing body should be used for major disagreements only. If it is a minor disagreement, the 2 opposing parties will have to resolve the conflict on their own accord by coming up with some sort of compromise.

* * *

Luan finds the third document hidden behind Lucy's Princess Pony poster, which is hidden behind Lucy's Vampires of Melancholia poster.

Voting procedures

Once a situation is deemed worthy enough to go to the -, then it will either be sorted into the - or the -, depending on the situation. In both cases, all members will have one vote with equal power. Within our original 11 members, action will be taken on the decision that has at least a 6-5 or 5-6 split.

Addendum 2.1: If - of the 11 members becomes indisposed, incapacitated, or deceased, or is kicked out of the - -, or leaves voluntarily, then the vote will be out of -.

Addendum 2.1.1: In the event of an even spilt with an even number of members, then we shall be forced to include the parental units (Lisa's words, not mine).

Addendum 2.1.2: If Addendum 2.1.1 is invoked, and the result is still an even split, then a 3rd party will have to be included.

Addendum 2.2: -, as - will have the power to choose who this person is. Once they have chosen, a member will give the facts of the situation of the party, making sure that they omit names and use only gender-neutral pronouns, as to not bias the 3rd party.

Addendum 2.2.1: - can overrule -'s choice, but then they have to choose the 3rd party.

Addendum 2.2.2: If -'s 3rd party is biased, or - sways the vote in their favor, then this 3rd party is removed and Addendum 2.2 is put into effect again, if this is the first time Addendum 2.2.2 is invoked, then - CANNOT overrule -'s second 3rd party choice.

Addendum 2.3: You can abstain from voting. But it will cause backlash.

* * *

The fourth document is hidden behind a picture of Lola.

\- Overview

The - is the division that can exercise all authority within the - -. - is the leader of this division. They can tell the others what they can and can't do. Unless a supermajority vote is against the leader of this group, then - will have all authority.

Addendum 3: The vote to oust the - leader CANNOT be vetoed by the leader!

* * *

The fifth document is stuffed together with a bunch of Lisa's x-rays.

\- Overview

The - is the division that is our financier. - controls the distribution of wealth, and as such, they have a major responsibility. Because of this, this division has the most restrictions on it!

Addendum 4.1: The - leader CANNOT hoard the money all to themselves.

Addendum 4.1.1: If they do, they will be unanimously ousted and replaced with a different member.

Addendum 4.1.2: If all members try to hoard money, and thus, are all ousted. This division will be rendered defunct and all money that is not in a wallet or purse goes into the E26-R-MJ to be distributed amongst everyone. The money absorption only happens once, when every member is ousted.

Addendum 4.1.3: The E26-R-MJ is in possession of the - leader, unless all members are ousted, in which case, the jar becomes its own separate entity which no other member can possess but can deposit and withdraw money at their leisure.

Addendum 4.1.4: No, a member CANNOT withdraw ALL or NEXT TO ALL of the money in the E26-R-MJ. A member can only withdraw $44 dollars once a month at the most.

Addendum 4.2: A member CANNOT bribe the - leader to give them more money.

Addendum 4.2.1: If a member trying to bypass Addendum 4.2 is discovered, then their bribe goes into the E26-R-MJ.

Addendum 4.2.2: If the member is offering a service to the - leader for money, it is considered a bribe.

Addendum 4.3: The only time Addendum 4.2.2 isn't considered a bribe is if the - leader claims it's a "job".

Addendum 4.3.1: To explain what counts as a "job", the member must explain what they're trying to do for cash to the - leader. Next, the - leader must get authorization from the - leader, -. If they ok it, then it is considered "legal" to do said "job" for monetary gain.

Addendum 4.3.2: If the - leader is ousted, and a new member is appointed to fill in the position, they can decide what counts as a "job". Though to overturn it, they must explain to the - leader why it should be overturned.

Addendum 4.3.3: The job must be paid by the - leader's own money, and not from the E26-R-MJ, otherwise, the use of the E26-R-MJ for personal use is considered grounds for fraud, as well as a unanimous ousting!

* * *

The sixth document is in Lily's crib. Luan removes Lily, grabs the document, and replaces Lily inside the crib.

\- Overview

The - is what determines justice within the - -. If a criminal action has happened within the confines of the - -, then it goes here to be deliberated by the members. The punishments are as follows:

Assaulting Lincoln in any capacity: Grounded until 18/Grounded for life

Assaulting any leader: Grounded for 5 months

Assaulting any member: Grounded for 2 months

Fraud/Embezzlement: Grounded for 12 weeks

Extortion/Blackmail: Grounded for 7 days

Abuse of Power: Immediate ousting, grounded for 2 days

Bribery: Grounded for 21 days

Conspiracy: Grounded for 6 days

Corruption: Grounded for 2 weeks

Addendum 5: A convicted member can be paroled if the other members reach a supermajority vote advocating for it

Addendum 5.1: Punishments are only in effect if the - convenes. If the court is not in session, then punishments do not apply

Addendum 5.1.1: Unless, the crime is why the court convened in the first place, that is the only exception

Addendum 5.2: If a crime has been committed, but a punishment has not been determined for it yet, then the - leader must come up with an appropriate punishment.

* * *

The seventh document was in the basement, it was crushed in between Lynn's bed mattresses.

\- Overview

The - oversees the protection of the entire - -. Admittedly, it's the least used, since we already all protect each other, but it's still nice to have.

* * *

The eighth document was under Lori's bed, buried under her massive pile of shoes.

\- Overview

The - is where we vote on all major issues that affect us within the - -. It is the most used of all the divisions.

* * *

The ninth document is hidden within Leni's fabrics.

Postamble

This organization was created to solve major disputes within the - -. I hope that we can all band together and make a better - -.

* * *

The tenth and final document is behind Luna's Mick Swagger poster. It contains one last sentence.

Well, Luan? Will you help me finish creating this organization? I already know the perfect situation to test it out on.

Luan finishes writing and completes all the documents. She calls a sibling meeting to inform everyone.

* * *

"I'm glad everyone is here. Now I called you all here to tell you that I found some documents that Lana made, she wanted to make a unilateral organization so that we can resolve any major conflicts we have within the Loud house. Lana appointed me as the secretary general of this organization, so that means I can assign you the other roles. But for the purpose of testing out the organization today, I will only tell you that Lana has nominated Lincoln to be the president of the Loud Council's Assembly Division, or L-CAD, for short. Since L-CAD will be the most used, Lana gave us a sample situation to test it out on. It's about the dress." Luan elucidates

A collective groan is heard.

"But we already know that the dress is black and blue, why do we need to deliberate on that?" Leni complains

"Not **THAT** dress, Leni! She means the blue one! You know…" Lincoln reminds her

Leni realizes what Lincoln is talking about.

"Oh…"

They all move to the dining room table, which Luan temporarily converted into a circular bench (as in, the ones judges stand behind, not an actual bench) with each of their names on a placard that Luan made in advance. Lincoln, being the head of this division, gets the front seat, while the sisters sit on the sides. Lincoln begins the proceedings.

* * *

"Loud House Argument Number 57: Lori vs Leni on the matter of the dress. Leni, give your opening statement to the court." Lincoln announces

For some reason, _Confrontation/Moderato 2011_ from Gyakuten Kenji 2 begins to play…

 **Leni's Argument**

"Ok, Linky. It was about 7:40 AM on January 11, 2017. I decided to go to the mall to buy myself a new dress. At the mall, I went to Bap, and found a cute sky-blue dress that totes made me look good. I paid $48 dollars for it and the receipt showed the purchase was made at 8:00 AM. After that, I went to my room to model it to show it to my siblings. It was about 8:20 AM when I came down and saw that Lori had bought the exact same dress as me. I ordered her to take hers back, because I had already bought one, and that I wanted to show off my version to our sisters."

"Ok, Lori? Your rebuttal, if you please?" Lincoln encourages

The music changes to _Confrontation/Allegro 2011_!

 **Lori's Rebuttal**

"It was about 7:54 AM when I went to the mall. I headed into a department store and found a dark cyan dress, it was literally my favorite article of clothing in the entire store. I paid $41 dollars for it and the timestamp on the receipt said 8:08 AM. I went inside our house to show the dress off to our sisters when Leni came down, wearing the exact dress I bought!"

The music changes once again to _Confrontation/Presto 2011_!

"Alright, Loud siblings, we've heard both sides of the story. Now, whoever says that Leni had the dress first, raise your hand."

Leni, Luan, Lana, Lucy, Lily and Lincoln raise their hands.

"Now, whoever thinks that Lori had the dress first, raise your hand."

Lori, Luna, Lola, Lynn, and Lisa raise their hands.

It's decided 6-5, Leni had the dress first!

The members who voted for Leni cheered, while the ones who voted for Lori are slightly irritated.

* * *

"That was WAY easier than that stupid sister fight protocol, don't you agree, Luan?" Lana questions

"Yeah, this was a pretty good idea, Lana." Luan admits

"And no one even abstained from voting this time! I didn't think that would happen."

"I'm surprised too."

"Well, that was a successful test run, I leave it in your hands now, madam president." Lana states

Finally, the dress dispute has been put to an end! And the formation of the Loud Council will prevent any incidents like that from ever happening again. As for the minor disagreements, Lincoln said it best. "Next time I have a problem with one of my sisters, I'll just talk to them instead of leaving a message or writing a nasty letter." So, they did. The one-year anniversary of Lana's death is coming up soon. I wonder how the Loud siblings will prepare for it.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Yeah, so Lana's solution to major disagreements within the Loud house was to make a model UN for the siblings! How did this happen? Well, Lana got the idea when Luan had to do a model UN project for her social studies final. The whole family was there. Don't worry, Luan got an A+ for her part in the project! As you can tell, Lana's LC documents were written before April 26, as Lynn is included as a member.**

 **A slight modification from the real United Nations, there are only 5 major divisions instead of 6, and even then, it's more like 4 divisions. Lana's version has these divisions.**

 **Secretariat  
** **General Assembly  
** **Economic and Social Council  
** **Security Council  
** **Court of Justice**

 **The Trusteeship Council wasn't included because there are no "territory" disputes in the Loud house, as well as the real counterpart in the United Nations not even being needed since 1994. The Security Council is there, but since the Inner Circlet formed, it's pretty much a nonissue at this point, seeing all the siblings have vowed to protect each other by joining the Inner Circlet. The "Social" part of the Economic and Social Council is also rendered useless because of the Inner Circlet, as all major disputes are filtered out before needing to use this, and minor disputes are worked out with a compromise between the 2 opposing sides.**

* * *

 **Even though Lana chose Luan and Lincoln's positions, this is who I chose to be the leaders. You can change all other positions except Luan and Lincoln's for your version.**

 **Luan: Secretary General, L-COC leader  
** **Lincoln: L-CAD leader  
** **Lana: LC-DH leader  
** **Luna: L-CSP leader  
** **Lisa: L-CED leader**

 **Lana's modified names of the UN divisions are as follows:**

 **Secretariat- Order Chamber  
** **General Assembly- Assembly Division  
** **Court of Justice- Deliberation Hall  
** **Security Council- Security Precinct  
** **Economic and Social Council- Economic Division**

* * *

 **Addendum 2.1.1 says that in the case of an even split between the siblings, either caused by an even number split on the sides, or by an odd number abstaining, Rita and Lynn Sr will have to get involved in the tie. Taking the situation from In Tents Debate, that was a 5-5 split, with Lincoln abstaining. If both voted for one of the locales, then the family would go there, but let's say that Rita picked Aloha Beach and Lynn Sr picked Dairyland Amoosment Park, then the family is still deadlocked with a 6-6 split. From here, Lincoln can stop abstaining and vote for one, breaking the tie, or Addendum 2.1.2 is invoked which involves getting a 3rd party involved. Usually, that 3rd party will be Clyde. Lincoln would present the facts to him while omitting the names of any Loud siblings (as that could bias him, he could just pick something solely because Lori picked it). Clyde would then vote, breaking the tie.**

 **Addendum 2.1.2 says that Luan can override Lincoln's choice if she feels his 3rd party is biased. If Lincoln made a mistake and accidently said that Lori picked choice X instead of choice Y, and Clyde chose choice X because of Lori, then Luan overrides his tiebreaker vote and replaces Clyde with someone she chose. If Luan's choice is biased, then Lincoln gets to pick another 3rd party because of Addendum 2.2.2 and Luan CANNOT override Lincoln's second choice.**

 **Addendum 2.3 says that the siblings can abstain from voting, but it will cause backlash. This is a reference to the episode "In Tents Debate", where Lincoln abstained from voting on where to decide to go on vacation (and extorting excellent service from his sisters in doing so) which ended badly for everyone. Luckily, Lincoln made up for it by giving his sisters the same treatment they gave him at Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds (terrible name, by the way. Who'd want to go to a place named that?). Lana put that in as a word of warning to try to discourage others from not voting. Why didn't she just force everyone to vote? She wanted to give them the choice.**

 **In the Economic Division, there's something called the E26-R-MJ. Remember that money jar that was mentioned all the way back in chapter 2? The one that Lana wanted Lisa to make to prevent another It's A Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House situation from arising again? Yeah, that is THIS jar. The E26-R-MJ stands for Episode 26 Resolution Money Jar. Episode 26 being the aforementioned It's A Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House.**

 **Why is the punishment for attacking Lincoln so severe when compared to the other ones? Well, Lana equates one of the Loud House laws with a REAL law! Which one is it for assaulting Lincoln? Attempted murder of a president or high treason against the government itself! Whereas assaulting any leader would be equated to assaulting a government official and assaulting anyone else is just normal assault and battery. It might be an overreaction on Lana's part, but considering what happens to Lincoln in the Loud House...maybe not. Luan certainly agrees with Lana's punishments.**

* * *

 **Yes, I referenced the dress. It can't be just me who thinks of it every time I re-watch Brawl In The Family. But we aren't talking about that dress, we're talking about the blue one that Lori and Leni got into an argument over. Yeah, the sisters don't want to be reminded of that debacle, even they hate the way they acted in that episode. At least they agree with us, and the sister fight protocol was abolished after the incident, so at least something good came out of it. Lincoln's announcement is that it's argument #57. The Loud House's 57th episode is Brawl In The Family. And of course, we can't get into an argument and a rebuttal without putting some Gyakuten Kenji 2 Confrontation 2011 music to heighten the mood. Here's the breakdown of how everyone voted.**

 **Lori, Lola and Luna voted for Lori, because that's what they voted for in Brawl In The Family**

 **Leni, Lana and Luan voted for Leni, because that's what they voted for in Brawl In The Family**

 **Lynn voted for Lori, because she's afraid of what would happen to her if she didn't**

 **Lucy voted for Leni, because Lynn voted for Lori**

 **Lily voted for Leni, because she saw Leni wearing blue before Lori, so Leni must have had the dress first**

 **Lisa voted for Lori, because Lana voted for Leni**

 **Lincoln voted for Leni, because after considering the facts, he concluded that Leni had the dress before Lori did**

 **Why are Lana and Lynn's votes included when one is a ghost and the other is in prison? Because this is a trial run. For Lynn, I chose what she would've chosen if she was at the assembly. Lana is a special case because Addendum 2.1 says that deceased siblings can't vote. Well no one could have guessed that Lana would stay in the Loud house as a ghost! The reason why deceased siblings' votes aren't included is because the living siblings can't SEE the votes of the dead siblings. This is because their ghosts usually ascend to a higher plane of existence once they leave their bodies, so they can't be seen anymore, but Lana never left. The other siblings can see Lana vote, and as such, her vote is counted.**

* * *

 **As a side note, something good came out of all the Fatal 4 episodes!**

 **Sound Of Silence: Lincoln agreed to not use the Noise-B-Gones, while the sisters gave him slightly more alone time (not much in a chaotic house such as this one, but every little bit helps.)**

 **It's A Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House: The E26-R-MJ, which is a money jar that Lisa made at Lana's request. It totals up all the money and divides it amongst the siblings dictated by a programmable variable, in this case, number of siblings. It is set to 9 at this moment, as Lana has no more need for money, and Lynn doesn't need money in prison. No more fighting over money!**

 **Brawl In The Family: The Sister Fight Protocol was repealed and replaced with the Loud Council, Lana's mock United Nations. This mitigates all major disagreements to a minimum! No more major arguments like the ones in the Fatal 4!**

 **No Such Luck: This very fanfic, which brought Lincoln and his sisters closer than ever before!**

 **Next is the final chapter of Sycophant, which ends in universe on April 26, 2018! 1 year has passed since Lana's death, so it seems like it's time for their story to come to a close. See you next time for the conclusion of Sycophant.**


	55. Postlude To Dysfunction

"This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper." -T.S Eliot, The Hollow Men, circa 1925

 **Chapter Synopsis: The Louds celebrate the 1-year anniversary of Lana's death by remembering all the things that she's done for them**

* * *

It has been exactly one year since the firecracker fiasco that injured Lana. The Loud family is planning to visit her grave to commemorate the 1-year anniversary of the tragedy. We see the Loud siblings preparing to go.

"Well, guys, it's here. April 26, 2018…one year ago today, Lana got injured by Lynn's plan. We're going to the Tranquility Grave to celebrate all the good times we shared with her when she was alive. Do you want to come with?" Lincoln says, speaking to the 4th wall in his room

"Ana is debeste syster Inkin ever add." Lily babbles

"She was the best sister I ever had, too. Because of her, I don't see Lincoln as a nuisance anymore. I see him as what she wanted me to see him for… our brother." Lisa said wistfully. She tilts her head to where one of her hidden cameras was installed "Lana, I finally see what you wanted me to see. You saw the value in our brother, even when I couldn't. Well, don't worry, I will watch over and protect him, just as you have. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways."

"So, you think Lincoln is hot, huh Lols?" Lana teases her twin playfully

"Sh…shut up, Lana!" Lola rebukes, while her cheeks flush crimson

"Don't worry, I won't tell. To be honest, I had a crush on him, too. His bravery and determination are admirable qualities to have, don't you agree?" Lana asks

"Yeah, I guess so…"

"Though I worry about Luan…she's kind of obsessed with him."

"Don't worry about her, she knows that she's been kind of clingy to him and has tried to loosen up."

"He also made a cravat for you…aside from the fact that it's a men's neckwear item, it's also a symbol of logic and reasoning. A certain prosecutor who prides himself on logic wears a triple cravat, but even getting one is a major accomplishment by itself. We really are like each other, aren't we Lols?"

"And I wouldn't have it any other way..."

"Me too…"

"Even though we didn't get along much, I'm glad you're my sister, Lana." Lucy admits

"You were the only one to treat our precious bro with any semblance of respect, Lans. Thanks for showing us the light." Luna utters

"Thanks to you, my bonds with the other siblings are stronger than ever. Thanks, my apprentice." Luan declares

"Ever since you helped me, Lori has agreed to let me run the Loud house in her stead. It's been going great so far. I've come out of my shell, I'm more confident, and I owe it all to you. I even granted Linky permission to visit us whenever he likes!" Leni chimes

"My relationship with the other siblings has literally never been better. As a result, my relationship with Bobby has gotten stronger too. The future is looking bright for everyone in the Loud house." Lori states

The Louds head on over to the Royal Woods cemetery and visit Lana's grave. Lucy lights a few candles. Everyone leaves a flower on it. A poison ivy, a bitter nightshade, a hemlock, a buttercup, a stinging nettle, a manchineel apple, a straw mushroom, a gorse flower, a belladonna, a Grecian windflower and an Easter lily. The Loud siblings say a few words before they head back to the house.

* * *

"Guys, come on down to the living room. We want to take a picture of our wonderful family." Rita yells

All of the Loud siblings and the parents get in the shot.

"Everybody, say cheese." Lynn Sr reminds

"Cheese!"

The picture was taken. Everyone takes a look at the developed picture. Rita and Lynn Sr are slightly taken aback at what they're seeing.

"How is this possible? She's been gone for a year!" Rita asks

"This has to be _Photoshopped_ , because Lana isn't with us anymore." Lynn Sr reasons

"That can't be, that camera doesn't even have Photoshop." Lincoln counters

We take a peek at the picture. There it is, clear as day. In between Lincoln and Lola is Lana, smiling with the rest of the family. She doesn't even look like a ghost in the picture. It looks like how the picture would have been taken if she was still alive.

"It doesn't matter, because the important thing is that our family is here, all together." Lola states to them

"Your right, Lola. Besides, this is one of the best pictures we have. It's going above the mantel right now."

They put it on the mantel, it looks beautiful with all of the other family pictures surrounding it. The Loud siblings leave to go to their rooms. Lana makes it to the second floor and begins to monologue with us.

* * *

"Well, it seems that everything turned out alright in the end. Even though I want to be with them, I'm happy things turned out this way. The plague of superstitions that Lynn casted over the Loud house has finally dissipated. Lincoln is no longer being forced by our family to wear that stupid squirrel suit. And finally, the sisters see Lincoln the way they should have seen him from the start. Not as a living lucky charm, but as our brother. As for me, I'm going to continue to protect him."

Lana heads off to Lincoln's room. The camera pans to a shot of the Loud house outside. It is nighttime. A famous screenwriter once said: "All drama is conflict. Without conflict, there is no action. Without action, there is no character. Without character, there is no story." It seems as if our story, and all future Loud House stories, have come to a close. Thanks to Lana's efforts, the Loud house is conflict free! It's sad that we won't see Lincoln or his family's wacky misadventures anymore, but now we can move on to something else.

"Aren't you excited?"

"Aren't you happy?"

"They're going to be alright."


	56. LH18?

"So, you want to work for us? My wife only wants the best workers in her employ, so, what are your qualifications?"

"I can type 20 WPM, I have knowledge of both _Word_ and _Excel_ , and I have a bachelor's degree in computer science."

"…"

"…"

"Well, you do have an impressive resumé… alright, you're hired."

"Thank you, sir! I won't let you down!"

"Oh, it's not me you have to impress. I'm just the HR guy. Now, my wife, on the other hand…she's the CEO of this company. So, you'd better work hard to impress her."

* * *

"Wow, these arts and crafts…they're…masterpieces!"

"Yes, they can stand up to the works of the masters!"

"Is this the artist?"

"She must be very talented to produce these amazing works of art?"

"I wonder who her inspiration is?"

"I'm going to go ask. Miss, who would you say inspired you to create these masterpieces?"

"No one…I make whatever I feel like. It's worked out so far."

"Impressive. We all look forward to watching you create more of your works."

* * *

"Oh wow! It's really her!"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, it's hard to see with the crazed mob of fans, but that's definitely her!"

"It really is, I recognize her signature guitar!"

"I'm going to try to get her autograph!"

"Good luck, the blockade of crazy fans will tear you to pieces before you even get close!"

"We might not have to, I heard she's going to be holding an encore performance!"

"Man, this is the greatest night ever."

* * *

"Looks like the stage has been set."

"Knock 'em dead, dear."

"Ha, that's comical! My act is specially crafted to the audience."

"And if there are hecklers?"

"Easy, perform a comedy turn. They want to mock me, I'll just reverse their own words against them. It makes for some great impromptu comedy."

"I'm glad I became your co-star."

"Don't worry, both of us are in the spotlight tonight. It's almost time for the performance."

* * *

"And here you go."

"WOW! I got my ultra-rare first print limited edition comic book signed by the creator himself! I'm sure to be the envy of all my friends."

"Next"

"You look familiar, mister. Have I seen you somewhere before?"

"I kind of doubt it, little girl. This is the first time I visited this town."

"Oh, sorry sir. It's just that you seem like someone I know…"

"Ok, here's your autographed comic book back."

"Ah, it's nice to meet so many wonderful fans…"

* * *

"It was thanks to her that the plan failed. Peace and love, once again prevailed."

"Wow, that poem really spoke to me."

"It started off dreary and escalated into a happy ending."

"Interesting, are you losing your edge?"

"No"

"Either way, glad to have your melancholic poetry style back."

"Thanks?"

"Don't mention it."

* * *

"Well, here we are."

"Is it really you?"

"Yes, it's me. What happened to your dad?"

"Oh, he blew one too many fuses. He died from a stress related myocardial infarction."

"What?"

"A heart attack."

"Oh…"

"Well, now that our father's influence is gone. I can finally ask this question. Will you be my friend?"

"Yes"

"Glad to hear it. And who's this?"

"This is my husband."

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you, sir. You know, you don't know how lucky you are. Take care of her, will you?"

"You have my word."

* * *

"Well, it looks like they'll be happy together."

"Yes, I'm happy for them."

"Do you want to go with me to Gus' Games and Grub?"

"Sure, I love that place!"

"My brother loves that place, too. Ever since he took me there, I've been kind of fond of that place."

"Don't you think people would get freaked out if they saw tokens levitating?"

"Yeah, but it will make their day all the more interesting."

"That's my girl. Let's go!"

* * *

"Ah yes, it seems that your invention has attracted some investors. They want to go into business with you."

"Truthfully, I don't care about the financial aspect. I only invent things to the benefit of humankind."

"Which reminds me, here's a Nobel prize that they wanted me to give you."

"Thanks."

"You seem to be blazing a new trail in the biomedical field. I expect great work from you."

"You won't be disappointed."

* * *

"Smile for the camera…say cheese!"

"Wow, you got an A-plus?"

"You seem to know a lot about focal length."

"Do you prefer head shots or body shots?"

"I'd prefer it if the person was in the shot entirely."

"As the leader of the photography club, you surely had an advantage in class."

"Is that how you see it? I just love taking pictures. Speaking of which, the yearbook is coming up soon and the dean wants us to take pictures of everything in the university, are you guys up for it?"

"Sure, we'll make the yearbook picture perfect with you!"

* * *

"You have a visitor."

"What, who would want to visit me?"

"It's you? Why would you want to visit me, after everything I've done to you?"

"She was right, I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"You forgive me? Even after I tried to kill you? Why? I just don't understand!"

"You still consider me a part of the family?"

"Thanks…that means a lot coming from you."

"I'm glad they're doing alright too."

"Yeah, it was nice talking to you again…goodbye."

* * *

 **Author's Note: This will be the longest author's note, as it will explain anything I missed the first time going through the story, as well as clarifying a few things. This "chapter" was written to be as vague as possible. Firstly, here is the condensed timeline of events within the story.**

 **3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 1, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 40, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56**

 **As you can see, chapter 2 isn't included. That's because chapter 2 is just a transitional chapter. Lana used it to get us, the readers, from chapter 1 (which takes place in the present time, a little before chapter 14) to chapter 3 (the start of the flashback chapters). This is the only chapter like this.**

* * *

 **And here is the comprehensive list of all the events that happened during the story:**

 **March 13, 2017: Events of the "No Such Luck Arc" happen. Lynn loses her baseball qualifier game.**

 **March 14, 2017: Events of "Frog Wild" happen. Day 2 of the No Such Luck arc, 1st set of sister events.**

 **March 15, 2017: Events of "Patching Things Up" happen. Day 3 of the No Such Luck arc, 2nd set of sister events and Lincoln gets kicked out of the Loud house.**

 **March 16, 2017: No Such Luck arc ends with Lynn convincing the Louds that Lincoln is good luck wearing the squirrel suit. Events of "Cheater By The Dozen" happen. Lana decides to team up with Lincoln to end the lie that Lynn spread all over the house which Lincoln blew out of proportion. The Louds celebrate how well Lynn Sr's work presentation went by going to the beach. Lola makes a snide remark at Lincoln (who was ranting about how no one would care if he died) which offends her siblings. Rita and the sisters agree to not force Lincoln to go to their activities for a week while Lynn Sr grounds Lola for a week because of her comment. This is what made Lana help Lincoln, it was Lola being Lola.**

 **March 20, 2017: Lana convinces Lisa to make the Cooling system and IONME to help Lincoln. Lisa teaches Lana Logic Chess.**

 **March 22, 2017: Lincoln's 1-week remission is over; Lori wanted Lincoln to be her wingman for her date with Bobby, he refused, Lori understood and left dejectedly, he read a story to Lily, helped Lola in her contest training, drank a refreshing glass of ice-cold water from Lisa (he needed it after training alongside Lola) and was forced to come to Lynn's final baseball game of the season. In a mirror of "No Such Luck", the Squirrels lose 20-21 because of a last minute stolen base! Lisa installs the Cooling System into Lincoln's mascot suit.**

 **March 23, 2017: Lana volunteers to cover for Lincoln after he dealt with 5 arduous sister events yesterday. Lincoln hangs out with Clyde while Lana deals with the other 4 sisters' activities. She advised Leni on how to proceed with her clothing designs, jammed with Luna, entertained a kid at his birthday party with Luan and wrote some poetry with Lucy. Lana also prevented Lincoln from getting grounded by Lynn Sr after Lola found out Lincoln escaped. The Trinity of Violence forms.**

 **March 24, 2017: Lana convinces Leni to join their group. Leni learns how to use Logic Chess from Lana and uses it against a member of the Trinity! Lana butts heads with the puppet leader of the TOV, Lori Loud! Lana calls out the sisters for the No Such Luck incident. Lynn Sr grounds Lori after hearing what she's done. All 3 members of the Trinity have joined and have now become a threat to Lana's group!**

 **March 25, 2017: Lisa installs IONME into Lincoln's room. Lana officially names their group the Covalence Network. Lana goes over her code words and code phrases, as well as discussing their plan of attack. Lola makes the pink mail which leads to the 1st operation of the Trinity of Violence, Lana dot exe! Lana and Leni recruit Luna and Luan and they tell Lincoln the good news.**

 **March 26, 2017: Lola enacts her plan and sends Lana to the kitchen basement, where the TOV lie in ambush. They rough her up and Lana is forced to recuperate from the beating by resting in Luna and Luan's room for the next month. Luna is made temporary leader of Covalence. The Trinity begins to use psychological warfare on Covalence members!**

 **April 1, 2017: Events of "Fool's Paradise" happen.**

 **April 5, 2017: Events of the "Fed Up Arc" happen. Lincoln gets the idea to sabotage tomorrow's dinner to get pizza.**

 **April 6, 2017: End of the Fed up arc. The Loud siblings convince Lynn Sr to not make the same 7 meals day after day.**

 **April 10, 2017: Events of "Kick The Bucket List" happen (the 9th day of Spring Break, when Lincoln and Clyde do everything on that list).**

 **April 12, 2017: Events of "Party Down" happen.**

 **April 13, 2017: Events of "Shell Shock" happen.**

 **April 14, 2017: Events of "Pulp Friction" happen.**

 **April 18, 2017: Events of "Pets Peeved" happen.**

 **April 22, 2017: Events of "Out Of The Picture" happen.**

 **April 24, 2017: Lana recovers from her injuries and resumes running Covalence. The Trinity has intensified psychological warfare attacks! Lola attempts to gaslight Lincoln. Lana gaslights Lola in retaliation. The fallout from the incident was that all psychological warfare tactics would be banned in the Loud house!**

 **April 25, 2017: Lana enacts operation Twinsanity to get Lola to stop harassing her group. It was a rousing success, with Lana proving to Lola that she can be just as prim and proper as her! Lana gains Lola's respect and Lola suspends all Trinity of Violence operations, as well as helping Lana by taking down the TOV from the inside! The Loud family celebrates Lana's 2nd pageant win.**

 **April 26, 2017: Lana recruits Lisa and Lucy into Covalence. She tells Lincoln that she only has to convince the Trinity members, as well as Rita and Lynn Sr, and their plan will be complete! Lola invites Lana to a tea party to reconcile with her, which Lana accepts! Meanwhile, Lynn Jr goes renegade and enacts a plan to desperately keep the fragile dynamic of the Loud house intact! She holds Lisa hostage until she helps with her operation, operation Scarousel! Lisa does so begrudgingly and Lynn goes of to enact her plan. Lynn sets the trap and lures Lana to it. Luan notices firecrackers hidden in the grass and runs off to warn Lana. Lynn presses the detonator and hopes that Lana will run away scared. It backfired horribly, as it hurt Lana and got Mr. Grouse to yell at the Louds again. Luan tells Lynn Sr what had happened and he calls an ambulance. The Louds drive off to the hospital to see her. Lana ends the flashback arc and we see that we're still in the hospital from chapter 1. The Louds go to room 426 where Lana is and begin accusing the Trinity who could have done this to her. The doctor removes the firecracker shrapnel from Lana's body and says that it will be 3 days before she's discharged. Lana says goodbye to everyone and passes away on 11: 06 PM.**

 **May 2, 2017: Lana's funeral is held. The Louds and Clyde say their tearful farewells. Lola learns that Lana made everyone tolerate the school day. Lola places gorse flowers on Lana's grave and heads home. Bobby says a few words to her before he heads back to his house, too.**

 **May 3, 2017: The schools give the Loud siblings 2 weeks off to cope with their loss. Lincoln uses Lana's code phrases. The Loud siblings see a bunch of items Lana hid from them, as well as Lana's final message. Afterwards, Lincoln grabs the mascot suit and Lori drives the siblings to the beach. They build a raft with kindling on it and place the suit on it. Lincoln sets it on fire and pushes it into the ocean just like a funeral pyre. Good riddance...**

 **May 4, 2017: The Loud siblings grieve over the loss of their precious little sister. This means chapters 17 through 24 all happen on the same day. The Loud family go to Gus' Games and Grub once they're done coping, except for Lynn. She still blames Lincoln for Lana's death.**

 **May 7, 2017: Events of "Potty Mouth" happen.**

 **May 8, 2017: Events of "L Is For Love" happen.**

 **May 11, 2017: Events of "Room With A Feud" happen.**

 **May 12, 2017: Events of the "Spell it Out Arc" Happen. Lucy attempts to use magic spells to get her way...it doesn't work.**

 **May 16, 2017: End of the "Spell It Out" arc. The siblings promise to pay attention to Lucy more.**

 **May 17, 2017: Lola forms the Inner Circlet and makes Lincoln a co-leader. Lincoln recruits Leni into the Inner Circlet. Lisa shows Luna and Luan what happened on April 26.**

 **May 18, 2017: The Louds go back to school. Principal Huggins welcomes Lincoln back, while Lola makes a new friend. During lunchtime, Leif, Lincoln and Lola team up to defend themselves against Chandler's posse (which is him and all the kids that made fun of Lincoln in the episode "Save The Date". Ironically, one of those kids is in the same class as Lincoln). Chandler insults Lincoln's sister and Lincoln goes ballistic on him! That kid that was in Lincoln's class, who also got beat up by Lola, snitched on them to principal Huggins. While he does sympathize with Lincoln's plight, he still violently attacked a kid (even if he did deserve it), so principal Huggins decides to suspend Lincoln for 3 days (don't worry, he punished Chandler and his "friends" too, for instigating the situation). The family lauds Lincoln for defending himself and praises Lola for helping Lincoln. Lola begins working on forming the Inner Circlet. We see the nightmares of 5 of the Loud siblings.**

 **May 19, 2017: Lynn admits to Lola and Lori that she went rogue and enacted a plan behind their backs. Lola and Lori permanently disband the Trinity of Violence. Lola recruits every sibling except Luna, Luan, Lynn and Lisa into the Inner Circlet. Luan confronts Lynn about the April 26 incident. Lucy apologizes to Lincoln after accidently saying he was bad luck at Lana's funeral. Lucy catches Lynn sneaking off with a baseball bat and calls her out on it. Lynn responds by saying she isn't playing baseball. She's training for something...**

 **May 20, 2017: In the wee hours of the morning, during a thunderstorm, Lynn attempts to murder Lincoln as payback for him causing Lana's death! The rest of the Loud family prevent Lynn from killing him by tazing her with Lisa's custom-made stun gun and tying her up. Lynn Sr calls 911 for an ambulance to carry Lincoln's unconscious body to the hospital and for the cops to arrest Lynn. Lynn comes to in a police station, where she confesses to the attempted murder of Lincoln Loud to detective Kyle Marshall. Lynn is arrested while detective Marshall interrogates Lynn Sr, Lola and Luan. He remembers them from when the episode "Suite And Sour" happened, when Lola, Luna and Luan kicked them out of their room.**

 **May 21, 2017: Detective Marshall orders his subordinates to process the evidence Lisa gave him while he tries to interview Lincoln. Upon getting there, he is told by prosecutor Chris Savino that Lincoln was knocked into a coma, so detective Marshall can't interview him. He tells the Loud family about this. He invites them to watch the preliminary hearing, where prosecutor Savino manages to convince judge Darin McGowan to hold Lynn on remand. The prisoners in the jail tell Lynn their stories.**

 **May 22, 2017: Prosecutor Savino attempts to collect evidence at the crime scene, but didn't find anything that detective Marshall had already processed. The 1st day of the trial, Lori and Luna are called to the stand. Prosecutor Savino convinces Judge McGowan that they need another day. Lisa berates him for this action. Luna gives Savino the idea to visit an old friend.**

 **May 23, 2017: Prosecutor Savino visits Lynn at the detention center, where she flat out admits she wants Lincoln dead, she also berates him for not using his evidence to end the trial quickly. He then visits Dr. Christina at the Psychology Diagnostic Building, where he learns that defense attorney Bob Mittenthal has diagnosed his client here, and as such, Christina can't help prosecutor Savino without violating doctor patient privilege, so she gives him the DSM5 to help in his case. The 2nd day of the trial. Luan, Lisa and Leni are called to the stand. Defense attorney Mittenthal shocks the court by claiming an insanity defense! Using the DSM5 and testimony from Lynn's roommate, Lucy, prosecutor Savino manages to dismantle his claim! He finds out about what happened on April 26 from Leni, who saw the whole thing go down! Leni refers to the incident as LL-4. Prosecutor Savino prepares for the final day of the trial.**

 **May 24, 2017: At Royal Woods Elementary, principal Huggins is concerned that Lincoln hasn't shown up, seeing as it's day 5 of his 3-day suspension. Leif tells him that he's concerned that Lola might crack at the trial due to the stress and guilt that she has. He also tells him that Lynn is the defendant and Lincoln was the victim in the trial's case (principal Huggins was watching the trial in his office) and that Lincoln was knocked into a coma. At lunch, Lincoln's group of friends are equally as concerned. Chandler, who is shown being damaged ever since Lincoln beat him up, taunts them because Lincoln got what was coming to him. Ronnie Anne tried to punch him twice, but the fat kid blocked the first punch, and his neck brace blocked the second. He also tells Rusty that he notified Flat Tire and Papa Wheelie about his betrayal (ironically, Papa Wheelie is also in Lincoln's class) and they kick Rusty out of their bike gang. Papa Wheelie tells them that their leader, Lynnsanity, is on trial for murder. Lincoln's friends put 2 and 2 together. The 3rd and final day of the trial. Prosecutor Savino made a diorama of how he thinks the events of May 20th played out, Lola corroborates his theory about the events. Defense attorney Mittenthal urges her to testify and Savino finally brings the trial to an end by presenting 2 damning pieces of evidence together. Judge McGowan and the jurors agree that Lynn Loud is GUILTY of attempted first-degree murder and sentence her to life in prison at the Michigan State Government Corrections Department in Muskegon, MI. Just as judge McGowan was about to end the trial, Lola raised an objection to his ruling a la Miles Edgeworth from Turnabout Goodbyes! She's confessing to LL-4! Or as we know it, the April 26 incident. Leni urges prosecutor Savino to stop this, but defense attorney Mittenthal wouldn't let him! Compounding the issue further is that Lisa got the evidence from the April 26 incident entered into the court record through the Similar Fact Law, or as Phoenix Wright players know it, rule 2 of Evidence Law from the case "Rise From The Ashes"! Leni is brought in to testify about LL-4, and Savino brings up the theory that Lynn committed both crimes. Judge McGowan agrees with prosecutor Savino that Lola COULDN'T have killed Lana no matter how one looks at the facts, he's about to release her when Lisa takes the stand for a second time to urge prosecutor Savino to catch the true perpetrator behind the LL-4 incident! Prosecutor Savino, along with an assist from detective Marshall, prove that fingerprints on the detonator Lisa made, as well as prints found on the basketball are the same set, comparing it to Lynn Jr's fingerprints yielded a 100% positive match! Lola is free to go! Prosecutor Savino won the trial for the Louds, and now they can visit Lincoln whenever they wish!**

 **May 25-June 30, 2017: The Louds visit Lincoln. Clyde and Bobby visited on May 25, while the rest of Lincoln's family visited him from the day the trial ended to the day he awoke from his coma. It took 42 days.**

 **May 29, 2017: Events of "The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos" happen, but this time, only Lori visits Bobby and Ronnie Anne at the Casagrandes' apartment.**

 **June 30, 2017: Lincoln wakes up from his coma. Lynn Sr prepares a "welcome back" feast for Lincoln. At the doctor's request, Lincoln goes to physical therapy to regain the use of his atrophied limbs during his comatose period.**

 **June 30- August 1, 2017: Lincoln continues his regimen. It took him 33 days to regain the use of his arms and legs.**

 **August 1, 2017: Lincoln suggests the Loud family visits Lynn to find out why she wanted to kill him.**

 **August 3, 2017: The Loud family travels to the Michigan State Government Corrections Department to visit Lynn. The other sisters call her out on almost killing Lincoln. Lincoln tries to get answers out of her, but fails. Lana exacts revenge for her brother on Lynn. The Louds return home. Vanzilla finally dies and Lana resolves to fix it.**

 **August 4, 2017: Lana repairs Vanzilla and the Louds surprise Lynn Sr with it. He appreciated it!**

 **August 5, 2017: Lola reminisces on how she recruited Luna, Luan and Lisa into the Inner Circlet.**

 **August 8, 2017: Lori calls Bobby and tells him what happened.**

 **August 12, 2017: Events of "Back Out There" happen.**

 **September 6, 2017: Lola returns to the pageant scene and wins her 50th pageant! Lincoln finds a secret admirer letter for Lola in the mail.**

 **September 7, 2017: Lola's secret admirer turns out to be Leif, her friend from elementary school! Lincoln and Leni explore his house while Lola tells him about how she tried to make friends with Winston. Outside, Lana tries to enter Leif's house to protect Lola but she's stopped by a boy! This boy challenges her to protect his family! His name is revealed to be Lexx, who is Leif's twin brother! Lana defeats him and Lexx mocks himself for losing. Lana consoles him and they become friends. After talking about their hobbies, likes and dislikes, Lexx realizes he's enamored with her! Lana and Lexx watch over their respective twins from outside. Inside, Leif is telling Lola about his family. Leif's brothers conspire to ruin his playdate (by joshing around with him, that's what brothers are for) while their sister, Linka tries to stop them from ruining Leif's playdate. Loki tries to attack Lola to get her to leave Leif alone, but Leni protects her by blocking his punch and breaking one of his wrists! Linka found out and her parents gave her permission to punish Loki for attacking their guest. Lola, Lana, Lincoln and Leni head back home.**

 **October 11, 2017: Lana reconciles with Lucy. Lucy reads Lana's fortune and watches her favorite show, Vampires of Melancholia, while both of them mock a parody of shows like it titled "The Immortal And The Restless".**

 **November 12, 2017: Lily plays with all of her siblings.**

 **December 22, 2017: Lincoln and Leni host their own fashion show.**

 **January 1, 2018: Lisa reconciles with Lincoln, at Lana's request.**

 **February 2, 2018: Lincoln rereads Luan's comic.**

 **March 18, 2018: Lisa tests out a new invention, the Psychoseeker, on Lincoln! The sisters see what Lincoln thinks of him and manage to change his opinion of them.**

 **March 21, 2018: Lincoln's sisters perform a song that Luna wrote for him, telling him how much they appreciate him.**

 **April 1, 2018: Luan tries to prank her family on April Fool's day. Lincoln convinces her to stop pranking everyone so hard on April Fool's day.**

 **April 14, 2018: Luan finishes Lana's work by forming the Loud Council, the Loud House version of the United Nations!**

 **April 26, 2018: The family celebrates the 1-year anniversary of Lana's death by honoring her and appreciating everything that Lana has done for their family.**

* * *

 **Here is a list of notes that I forgot to mention during my first trip through the story.**

 **Chapter 2: Even though chapter 2 is a transitional chapter and is therefore non-canon to the story's timeline, you might be asking how Lola acknowledges your existence. Well, as mentioned in chapter 40, Lola has the ability to use 4th walls. She was using a 4th wall to talk to you.**

 **Chapter 12: The judges were parodies of Simon Cowell, Steve Harvey and Len Goodman. Did you get them?**

 **Chapter 14: Chapter 1 takes place a little before this chapter. The 2 fanfics Lana references are "When It All Falls Down" and "The Prodigal Lincoln: Stigmata" by CaptainDarko2.0. Both of them are dark fics, but both of them are amazing reads if you can stomach the disturbing imagery and horror he pumps into his works. When the electrocardiogram beeps intermittently, it spells out "goodbye" in Morse code. Lana also uses Luan's 3rd pun as her last words, signifying that she still considers Luan her mentor, as well as her older sister.**

 **Chapter 15: A minor detail, but more tears were collectively shed during Lana's funeral than the average player's tears when watching the ending of Metal Gear Solid 3. And everyone cries manly tears during the MGS3 ending, even if you are a female, because that ending is such a masterpiece. If you don't cry during that ending sequence, you're probably not human.**

 **Chapter 16: If you're too lazy to learn French or use a translator on Lana's angst filled entry, here a summary of it. Lana thinks that she's an outcast just like her brother, and that's why they get along so well. She thinks her and Lynn would be ostracized for being the tomboys in the family. Lynn has a way out by being a star player on her sports teams, but Lana? She's just a girl that plays in the mud all day, not at all ladylike! This doesn't bother her, though. It only intensifies Lana's bond with Lincoln and that no matter what trouble Lincoln gets himself into, Lana will always have his back. The flower association actually began with Loudertale. See, in my Loud House/ Undertale crossover, Flowey and Chara are GONE, but their influence has corrupted Lola, which makes Lola the new Flowey/Chara! Seeing the threat of corruption by those omnicidal spirits, sans puts together an elite strike force of humans to stop future genocide runs! One of his students and close friends was Luan, who helped him by forming her group, Lucida (based on the typefont theme, E.G: sans, Papyrus, Wingdings, Aster). Lucida female members have flowers associated with them, while male Lucida members have fungi associated with them. The only 3 members were Luan, Leni and Lana, whose codenames were Buttercup, Dulcamara and Ulex, based on their flowers. I just cringed hardcore while explaining that. The flowers being associated with traits relating to the siblings within the Language Of Flowers was a complete coincidence, but a happy one nonetheless. I just picked the flowers because they looked cool. Them having a trait to match a Loud sibling was just a bonus! Note that almost all of the flowers are poisonous, which tells you that even though the Loud sisters are beautiful, they're also super dangerous, just like in the show!**

 **Chapter 20: The italicized words were references to different suicide methods. Beat-down, exsanguination, being blown up, gunshot wound, poisoning, immolation, electrocution, asphyxiation, stabbed to death and drowning. Luan is so depressed and in anguish over losing Lana that she would resort to suicide to be with her again. The original sad Megalovania song was composed by Aria Rose.**

 **Chapter 23: This is more of a thing I noticed in the episode "Snow Bored", but since it was alluded to in a flashback in this chapter, I guess I can talk about it. Did the scene where Lisa sniped Lana in the bathroom with her snow bazooka remind anyone else of Goldeneye 007 on the N64? Specifically, when James Bond infiltrates the Arkhangelsk Chemical Warfare Facility #2 in Soviet "Mother" Russia with Alec Trevelyan. James Bond enters the facility through the ventilation ducts and ends up in the bathroom, he has to kill a Soviet guard on the toilet to proceed with the mission. Also, I just noticed, the people who made Goldeneye left out the "h" in Arkhangelsk, they spelled it wrong!**

 **Chapter 24: Lincoln mentions Buddhist monks emaciating themselves to death to achieve spiritual enlightenment. This process is called sokushinbutsu. Also, Leni had to read Dante's Inferno. How could a sweet cinnamon roll such as her be expected to read that? No wonder she got nightmares for 2 months after Lana read it to her.**

 **Chapter 26: Why did Lincoln punch Chandler's femur instead of kick it? Because he'd be expecting a kick to that area. Lincoln did it to confuse him.**

 **Chapter 27: The monster Lisa had to avoid on terrace 4 of her dream. It responds to audio cues...this is an allusion to Withered Foxy from FNAF 2 as well as Nightmare Bonnie and Chica from FNAF 4. But this monster has more resemblances to Withered Foxy. Luan's song in Lynn Jr's dream, look at the first letter to the lines of the song and you get the words "woes", "payback", "wrathful", "LH" (for Loud House), "kill" and "rage".**

 **Chapter 32: Kyle Marshall was chosen to be the detective because he is the only one, besides Chris Savino himself, to direct an episode of The Loud House, both by himself and co-directed with Chris Savino. For these reasons, I consider him to be the Loud House's second most important person, behind the man himself, creator Chris Savino. Obviously, I had to give the prosecutor role to Chris Savino, it's the most important role in the trial, and who better to cast than the creator of the Loud House himself?! As for the judge, I chose to use Darin McGowan because he's the Loud House's version of Stan Lee. All of the show's staff have made cameos, but Darin has made the most cameos. He even got a speaking role before any of the other self inserts. By saying "Does anybody work here? I'd like to buy some gas station pizza!" in the episode "Intern For The Worse", the next self-insert to speak was from prop designer Jared Morgan in the episode "Suite and Sour", and he was the hotel manager! Though, the Loud House staff seem to run the hotel, and treat some of the other members of the Loud House staff as guests, it's kind of weird. But even though Jared got a more prevalent role, Darin did it first, so he's the judge.**

 **Chapter 35: If you check the DSM5 it will have 10 pages, 1 for each of the personality disorders.**

 **1\. Paranoid Personality Disorder (PDD): Symptoms: delusions, paranoia (duh) Emotions: fear, anxiety  
** **2\. Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD): Symptoms: being reclusive, looking spaced out Emotions: apathy  
** **3\. Schizotypal Personality Disorder (STPD): Symptoms: paranoia, social anxiety, generally looking crazy Emotions: fear  
** **4\. Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD): Symptoms: No remorse, guilt or having a lack of conscience Emotions: maybe  
** **5\. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Symptoms: mood swings, seeming very unstable Emotions: varies  
** **6\. Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD): Symptoms: doing anything to get attention Emotions: ecstasy  
** **7\. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Symptoms: an overinflated ego, being obnoxious Emotions: hubris  
** **8\. Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD): Symptoms: avoiding people (duh), being insecure Emotions: misery  
** **9\. Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD): Symptoms: being clingy to another person, relying on another person Emotions: fear  
** **10\. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD): Symptoms: being obsessive, perfectionistic and precise Emotions: neurosis**

 **Chapter 36: Luna's DL-6 track has allusions not just to what happened to Lincoln, but to the actual DL-6 incident! Here's the breakdown of the lyrics.**

 **Please rest, our dear brother- obvious  
** **We don't want to lose another- they already lost Lana, they don't want to lose Lincoln, too!  
** **You've always shone, just like the sun- he brightens up everyone's day, whether the sisters realize it or not  
** **Lynn beats you up, just for her sick fun- self explanatory  
** **It's finally over, we won!- referring to Lynn's incarceration  
** **Metal piercing, through our hearts- Lynn hit Lincoln's chest the most, also refers to when Gregory Edgeworth died from a metal object  
** **Lying unconscious, to depart- Lincoln ended up in a coma, Gregory Edgeworth ended up passed out and dead  
** **An icy grip, empties its clip- Refers to the DL-6 incident, Gregory Edgeworth died from a gunshot wound to the heart  
** **Perfection attained, with bloodstains- Lynn tried to kill Lincoln for interfering in her pursuit to be the best, as well as believing he killed Lana, Von Karma killed Gregory Edgeworth for ruining his 40-year perfect record during the IS-7 incident trial. Both were resolved with murder, but only one of them actually resulted in the death of the other person**

 **Chapter 38: Lynn lying in a pool of red and white. That can only mean one thing, she had an orgasm while Lana was beating her up! And this was when Lana was mutilating her sexual organs as payback for when she did the same thing to their brother, Lincoln! You think you know a person...**

 **Chapter 41: Luna's Inner Circlet gem is an octagonal amethyst with 8 cuts. It's a reference to Steven Universe, because Crystal Gem Amethyst has the cut designation 8XM, as revealed in the episode "That Will Be All".**

 **Chapter 42: The judge's names are all puns of fancy terms. Aver Dresed is based off the word "overdressed", Exu Bryant is based off the word "exuberant", though his name is pronounced with a French accent, and Gil DeLily is based of the words "gilded lily".**

 **Chapter 43: Pingrey Drive is a reference to its real-world counterpart, Pingree Boulevard.**

 **Chapter 44: Time to destroy your childhoods/perceptions of the twins! This chapter takes place in the Twin Loves arc, so naturally, we should know how the twins make love! Don't worry, this would take place in 2040 and NOT now! But first, here's how the Loud House Twin brothers see females. Leif sees them as above males, and is grateful that they would stoop down to their levels to carry the next generation of humans onward. Lexx sees them differently however...he thinks that males are inferior to females in every way and that a neo-matriarchy should happen! He says that you should be happy being a female's sex slave! Leif lets his female partner decide when to have sex, whereas Lexx would just...have it whenever Lana wants to. All of the situations are consensual by all parties involved. Something to know about Lexx...he has a fetish for being dominated by strong females! And Lana would definitely be the dominant one in the bedroom. With that there's only one more thing to talk about...though it is kind of taboo. Lola would not masturbate, as she thinks it's disgusting (just like most normal people would) Leif and Lexx could, but they would never admit it to their partners, they have some pride and dignity, after all. Lana, however WOULD admit to pleasuring herself and feel no shame! One, she would have watched a science video about it, saying that talking about masturbation is usually stigmatized (for good reason), but that it's ok to masturbate, as there are beneficial effects to it, for both males and females! And also, Lana is more willing to do disgusting stuff, it's just in her nature. Lexx wouldn't even mind, if he saw Lana masturbating, he'd blush, say it's the sexiest/hottest thing he ever saw and would back out of the room slowly. But Lexx is definitely not a normal person. Note that both Loud House Twin sisters are the ones who want to have sex, the brothers just comply with their wishes. Lana is more offensive, while Lola is more defensive. Both sisters have a higher libido and sex drive, and they can last way longer than their male partners! This applies to all of the Loud House sisters, but they only do vaginal sex, no oral or anal. Oral sex is one of the rare things that causes Lana revulsion! It's so gross to her that she will outright REFUSE do it. She knows that's how you get STDs, and no one wants those. She also cringes in pain when someone mentions anal sex. It's not gross to her, just so extremely painful that only masochists get pleasure from it. Even childbirth would be less painful than that, in Lana's eyes! Lastly, none of the Loud siblings have any STDs. Luckily, all of this would be in an alternate future in the year 2040. And that is probably more than you ever wanted to know about the Loud House Twins' sex life. Have fun with the destroyed childhoods!**

 **Chapter 51: The Mental Torture's strength goes in this order.**

 **Paranoia  
** **Archisphobia  
** **Egkataleipsisphobia  
** **Survivor's Guilt  
** **Isolationism  
** **Nihilism  
** **Kokkinoyphobia  
** **Perfectionism  
** **Sycophancy  
** **Depression  
** **Kriseosphobia**

 **Also, Leni's psyche break only has a 50% chance of happening. The other 50% has Lincoln dying from his arrhythmia because Lisa was unable to shock his heart back to normal in time.**

 **Chapter 53: Luan actually did film Lincoln naked! It's seen in the episode "Making The Case", twice. During the second time, Luan actually pulls back the shower curtain and watches him shower! She's lucky that Lincoln didn't turn around!**

* * *

 **Antagonists are a recurring problem in Sycophant. Here's a list of all the people who oppose the Louds!**

 **Chapter 1: Flip, OSHA agents (to Flip)  
** **Chapter 2: Lola Loud, The Fatal Four (to us, the readers)  
** **Chapter 3: Lola Loud (unintentionally)  
** **Chapter 4: Lola Loud (To Lana and Lincoln)  
** **Chapter 5: Lisa Loud (To Lana and Lincoln, later reconciled with Lana)  
** **Chapter 6: Lynn Loud Jr (to Lincoln), Luan Loud (unintentionally, to Lana), Lynn Loud Sr (to both Lincoln and Lana), Lola Loud (to both)  
** **Chapter 7: None  
** **Chapter 8: Lori Loud, Lola Loud, Lynn Loud Sr (to Lana)  
** **Chapter 9: None  
** **Chapter 10: The Trinity Of Violence (Lola, Lori and Lynn, though Lola and Lori do so reluctantly, to Lana)  
** **Chapter 11: Lola Loud (To Lincoln), Lana Loud (To Lola, as payback for what Lola is doing to Lincoln)  
** **Chapter 12: Lola Loud, Lindsey Sweetwater, Lord Tetherby (hired), Hugh (hired), Zachariah Sweetwater (mentioned/implied) (To Lana)  
** **Chapter 13: Lynn Loud Jr  
** **Chapter 14: None  
** **Chapter 15: Lynn Loud Jr (To Lincoln)  
** **Chapter 16: None  
** **Chapter 17: None  
** **Chapter 18: Lisa Loud (to Lola, Lori and Lynn Jr), Lynn Loud Sr (to Lola, Lori and Lynn Jr and almost to Lincoln)  
** **Chapter 19: Lori Loud (To Leni, unintentionally)  
** **Chapter 20: Luan Loud (to herself), that kid that ate buttercups for YouTube views (to himself), the Circus World Animatronics (to Markiplier)  
** **Chapter 21: Lola Loud (To Lucy, mentioned)  
** **Chapter 22: Lola Loud (to herself)  
** **Chapter 23: None  
** **Chapter 24: Lincoln Loud (to himself), Lynn Loud Jr (to Lisa)  
** **Chapter 25: Principal Huggins (implied, to Lincoln, proven false), Lola Loud (implied, to Leif, proven false)  
** **Chapter 26: Chandler and the kids that hazed Lincoln in the episode "Save The Date" (to both Lincoln and Lola), Principal Huggins (to Lincoln, Lola,  
Chandler and his posse)  
** **Chapter 27: Incarnation of Guilt, Incarnation of hatred, Incarnation of Trickery, Satan (Lisa's dream, beta version), Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Master Core (Lola's dream), Luan Loud (Lynn Jr's dream), GAIUS defect, Lori Loud (Lori's dream), Lola Loud, Lori Loud and Lynn Loud Jr (Lincoln's dream)  
** **Chapter 28: None  
** **Chapter 29: Lola Loud, Lori Loud, Luan Loud (to Lynn Jr)  
** **Chapter 30: Lynn Loud Jr (to Lincoln), RWPD (to Lynn Jr)  
** **Chapter 31: Detective Kyle Marshall (to Lynn Jr)  
** **Chapter 32: Flip, Lynn Loud Jr, The burglar from Lock 'N' Loud (to the Louds)  
** **Chapter 33: Lisa Loud (to prosecutor Savino), defense attorney Mittenthal (to prosecutor Savino, during the trial)  
** **Chapter 34: defense attorney Mittenthal (to prosecutor Savino)  
** **Chapter 35: Chandler and his posse (to Lincoln's group of friends), Flat Tire and Papa Wheelie (to Rusty Spokes), defense attorney Mittenthal (to prosecutor Savino, during the trial), Lola Loud (to herself, during the trial), Lisa Loud (to Lola and prosecutor Savino, but it was a gambit to convict Lynn Jr)  
** **Chapter 36: The Coma (to Lincoln)  
** **Chapter 37: Jessica (To Lincoln, as a sparring partner to help Lincoln train his muscles), Lisa Loud (to Lincoln and Leni)  
** **Chapter 38: Lynn Loud Jr (to the Loud family), Lana Loud (To Lynn Jr, as payback for what she did to Lincoln), other inmates (to Lynn Jr, not mentioned, but implied)  
** **Chapter 39: The salvage parts clerk (to Lana)  
** **Chapter 40: None  
** **Chapter 41: Luna Loud, Luan Loud and Lisa Loud (to Lola, in a flashback)  
** **Chapter 42: Gil DeLily, Lindsey Sweetwater (to Lola)  
** **Chapter 43: Ignis Element (to both Winston and Lola, flashback), Lord Tetherby (to the Louds, flashback), Zachariah Sweetwater (to Lola, flashback),  
Lindsey Sweetwater (to Lola, flashback)  
** **Chapter 44: Lexx Loud (to Lana, later reconciled)  
** **Chapter 45: The Loud brothers (to Leif and Lola), Loki Loud (to Lola), Leni Loud (to Loki), Linka Loud (to Loki)  
** **Chapter 46: None  
** **Chapter 47: None  
** **Chapter 48: None  
** **Chapter 49: Lisa Loud (to Lincoln, later reconciled), Lana Loud (to Lisa, to snap some sense into her)  
** **Chapter 50: Deep Freeze, Entangler, Warden, Pharaoh's Curse, Social Climber, King Of Clubs (to Ace Savvy's Hand, comic book made by Luan and Leni Loud)  
** **Chapter 51: The Mental Tortures (to Lincoln)  
** **Chapter 52: None  
** **Chapter 53: Paranoia (to Lincoln), Lincoln Loud (to Luan), Luna Loud (to Lincoln, after Luan's attempted suicide)  
** **Chapter 54: None (it was a test conflict about the dress, which was resolved ages ago!)  
** **Chapter 55: None  
** **Chapter 56: None**

 **Note that the Dysfunction, the force responsible behind the chaos in the Loud House is not mentioned, that will be covered later on.**

 **All of the Chapter titles have a reason they're named the way they are. Here's why.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Prelude To Dysfunction: It's the start of the story, thus, a prelude. The dysfunction represents the chaos of the Loud house.**

 **Chapter 2: The Loud House Redux: Lana explains the Loud house to us from her perspective, a redo, if you will.**

 **Chapter 3: Vehicular Manslaughter: The Louds are in Vanzilla, a vehicle, when Lola mocks Lincoln, as Lola does. She verbally slaughters her own brother. Which forms the title, "Vehicular Manslaughter", which is when Lola mocked Lincoln's claim that no one would give a damn if he died. This disparaging comment by Lola is the unintentional catalyst behind the entire set of events in the story!**

 **Chapter 4: Trinity Of Violence: What Lana names the 3 most violent sisters toward Lincoln. Lola, Lori, and Lynn Jr... they are 3 of Lincoln's sisters and they are violent toward him. Lori invokes extraterritorial rights on her room more than Quercus Alba does in not Germany, Cohdopia (he would be in not West Germany, Allebahst. Cohdopia is obviously a parody of Germany as it was broken apart and later reunified, just like Germany in real life) in Ace Attorney Investigations, Miles Edgeworth, as well as just being abrasive to her siblings. Lola is a master manipulator who extorts and blackmails her siblings into getting what she wants, and the show is more than happy to show this to us. She also has a volatile temper and can be set off by the slightest thing! Lynn Jr...the most straightforward of the 3, she just uses Lincoln as her personal punching bag.**

 **Chapter 5: Cooling System: Lana convinces Lisa to make the eponymous Cooling System for Lincoln. It could also refer to Lana comforting Lisa during her emotional breakdown. Lana would be cooling Lisa down.**

 **Chapter 6: Bodyswap: Lana takes Lincoln's place after seeing him work so hard to please his sisters yesterday by wearing Lincoln's mascot suit. Isn't Lana such a good sister?**

 **Chapter 7: Queen Me!: Lana recruits Leni. Leni is seen as a surrogate mother by the other siblings, thus, she would be a queen. Her signature Logic Chess piece is also a white queen!**

 **Chapter 8: The Lioness' Den: It refers to Lori's abrasive personality, as well as her sanity slippage once Lana gets the best of her.**

 **Chapter 9: Covalence: Lana named the group she formed to protect Lincoln the "Covalence Network", or "Covalence" for short. It refers to covalent bonds, when elements share electrons to form a stable electron configuration. Just like how the bonds between the siblings strengthen the more they hang out with each other.**

 **Chapter 10: Lana Dot Exe: It is the 1st of the Trinity's plans to try and do damage control on Lana's actions, as they could disrupt the balance of the Loud house! A dot exe is a computer programming term, short for "executable file". In computers, "execute" means "run". The Trinity tries to rough up Lana to get her to stop interfering with the dynamic of the house.**

 **Chapter 11: Psychological Warfare: It's what the Trinity of Violence is doing to try and break the bonds between Covalence Network members. Lola also tries to gaslight Lincoln, so Lana gaslights Lola to show her how dangerous it is, and also, to help her brother out.**

 **Chapter 12: Of Mud And Mascara: Operation Twinsanity has Lana assume Lola's identity to try and get Lola to see how she really acts. Lincoln puts the pressure on the twins by luring the real Lola out with a pageant, so to keep up the façade, Lana has to enter the pageant. Luckily, she wins! It represents a sort of paradoxical duality personality conflict within Lana. She can be both the muddy tomboy we all know and love and she can also be a prim and proper lady, just like her twin sister. Though the show will probably keep her as a tomboy to make the juxtaposition of Lola and Lana clearer, as they are polar opposite twins, this proves that Lana can be just like Lola! It's also a literary allusion to John Steinbeck's classic novella, "Of Mice And Men", which is where Chris Savino named Leni, after Lennie Small, the unbelievably strong, but mentally disabled immigrant worker.**

 **Chapter 13: No More Luck: A reference to the Loud House episode that inspired this fanfic, "No Such Luck". It has a dual interpretation. The 1st one is that Lana succeeded in her mission in dispelling the little white lie Lincoln exacerbated, and that Lynn initially injected into the household. Which means that Lynn's superstitions will plague the Loud house no more! The 2nd one was that the Trinity managed to stop Lana from helping Lincoln somehow, as the second-in-command of Covalence, the group would be crippled without her!**

 **Chapter 14: Ex-sanguine: It refers to Lana's temperament. Lana is sanguine, a vivacious young girl with a love of life! It also refers to exsanguination, or dying due to blood loss.**

 **Chapter 15: Faded Light: Allusion to Lucy's poem.**

 **Chapter 16: Lana's Lament: Lana left some saddening and angst filled things behind. The March 16 entry written in French, the major arcana story and most egregiously, the videotape she recorded as a final farewell. A bit of sad foreshadowing is when Lincoln uses the magatama on Lynn Jr, 5 black psyche locks surround her. In the Ace Attorney series, black psyche locks are a representation a closely guarded secret. Black ones are so deeply repressed, that even the person keeping the secret isn't aware they have it. Forcefully breaking black psyche locks could irreparably damage the person's mind, soul, and psyche! They are described as cold, dark and full of despair...**

 **Chapter 17: Affetto Accusations: In musical terminology, an affetto is a piece of music with "affect", or emotion. Luna's song is filled with intense emotions directed at the Trinity for causing Lana's death!**

 **Chapter 18: Smile For The Camera: Remember in the episode "Lock N' Loud" when Lisa admits she installed cameras in the bathroom (much to Lincoln's horror)? Well, she didn't just wire the bathroom with cameras, she wired the entire house with cameras! Lisa show footage of the Trinity hazing Lana to Lynn Sr as payback for their actions!**

 **Chapter 19: Talking A-Loud: Lori and Leni talk about their problems with each other, it seems pretty simple to me.**

 **Chapter 20: Aria Of Sorrow: It's a reference to the Castlevania game, Aria of Sorrow. Aside from that, the "aria" part of the title is a cleverly subtle reference to the original composer of the original sad Megalovania song, Aria Rose, so I can't get sued for copyright (though, they'd probably still try) and the "sorrow" part is the grief Luna and Luan feel coping with Lana's death.**

 **Chapter 21: Name Game: Lucy inputs the names of all of the Loud siblings into a "what does my name mean?" website.**

 **Chapter 22: After All I've Done: It represents Lola's immense guilt in having a hand in Lana's death. She doesn't deserve any kindness or mercy, but Lana and Lincoln still forgive her, even after everything she put them through.**

 **Chapter 23: Tainted Love: Lisa and Lana have a toxic relationship with one another. It's basically a lighter and softer version of Snape vs Harry in the Harry Potter series, with Lisa being Snape, Lincoln being Harry and Lana being Lily (Harry's mother/Snape's former friend, not the baby from the Loud House). Also, a reference to the song "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell.**

 **Chapter 24: Requited Love: Lincoln repairs his fractured relationships with his sisters after grieving over Lana's death. It also acknowledges the crush Lincoln and Luan have for each other.**

 **Chapter 25: A New Leif: A dual meaning title. The 1st meaning is how Lola makes good on her promise to Lana and becomes nicer not only to Lincoln, but to all of her siblings. She's turned over "a new leaf". The 2nd meaning is a play on words. The new student's name is Leif. So, he would technically be "a new Leif".**

 **Chapter 26: Sick Of It: If you say the word "sycophant" fast enough, it begins to sound like the phrase "sick of it". Lincoln is also sick of Chandler and his "friends" bullying of him, Lola and Lana and he finally fights back against them!**

 **Chapter 27: The Guilty Party: Aside from being an aside to the audience signaling that something serious is about to go down soon, it tells us who feels the most responsible for the tragedy. The title itself is a reference to a legal term, as a guilty party, would be the defendant!**

 **Chapter 28: Inner Circlet: The name of the organization Lola tries to succeed the Covalence Network with. She wants to finish what Lana started and to atone for creating the Trinity of Violence. Lola came up with the name by combining the phrase "inner circle", a close group of people who share a common goal, and "circlet", a type of metal headband that's worn like a crown. Oddly, the male circlet looks better than the female one...**

 **Chapter 29: Dissolution Of TOV: Lola and Lori completely destroy any traces of the Trinity's existence. It also is a play on the Hebrew phrase "Mazel Tov", which means good luck, mazzel means luck, while tov means good. It's one of those reverse cases. The Trinity's disbandment is a double-edged sword. The good luck is that it's gone forever! The bad luck is that without the organization, a renegade could beat up Lincoln and no one would know who it was. And such a situation did happen...**

 **Chapter 30: Power Struggle: Lynn is stronger than Lincoln, this is a given. But it also refers to Lynn's megalomania, future sociopathy and lust for misaimed justice! She tries to perform a vigilante execution of her own brother because she still believes he is responsible for Lana's death!**

 **Chapter 31: Breaking The Case: A reference to the Loud House episodes "Making The Case" and "Making The Grade". It also refers to the phrase "a break in the case", which is what detectives need to solve crimes! Lincoln even says this phrase in the episode "Sleuth Or Consequences"!**

 **Chapter 32: Coma-ing Around: A pun on the phrase "coming around", which is when a person changes their opinion to align with another persons' and "coma", which is what Lynn gave Lincoln during the beating. She was aiming to kill him, but incapacitating him works for the time being. Luan would probably not enjoy this pun because her brother is the one comatose.**

 **Chapter 33: Case Docket #137426: The state of Michigan V Lynn Loud Jr is case number 137426. 137426 has a bunch of numbers associated with the Louds. 13 is Lynn's age, Lynn is the 7th sibling, Lana is the 4th sibling, 2 is for the twins, because 6 divided by 2 is 3, which is Lola's sibling number. Lincoln is the middle child and is the 6th member of the family. Lola and Lana are also 6 years old, with Lana being older by 2 minutes.**

 **Chapter 34: A Special Person's Diagnosis: Look at the first letter of each word in this title. It spells out the acronym ASPD. Lynn gets diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, or ASPD, in this very chapter. It also explains why Lynn has been such a jerk within the show. ASPD is also more commonly known as sociopathy.**

 **Chapter 35: Trials And Tribulations: A reference to the 3rd game in the original Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney trilogy, which is called Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations.**

 **Chapter 36: Linked Together: Lincoln has brought the Loud family closer together, with Lana's help. The "linked" part is Lincoln, and the "together" part is the sibling bonds he has with his sisters.**

 **Chapter 37: Limbic System: A play on words, the limbic system is the emotional center of the brain. Ironic, since Lincoln needs to regain the uses of his atrophied limb muscles.**

 **Chapter 38: Must Be Gone: Supposed to be a pun on Muskegon, the Michigan town that Lynn was sentenced to. But Muskegon isn't pronounced Mus-kee-gon, it's pronounced Mus-keeg-in! I'm still keeping the title because it sounds cool. It also tells us the Lynn that some of us have come to know and love is gone. Just as the Master Crown corrupted Magolor and left him a desiccated husk of his former self, so to, did Lynn's ire for Lincoln left her a shadow of her former self.**

 **Chapter 39: Mechanical Mayhem: Vanzilla itself qualifies as this, but this time, it dies, so Lana has to fix it and make sure it won't break down again!**

 **Chapter 40: Terror Cell: A pseudo title, it's supposed to make you think that there's going to be terrorists, because the title of the chapter is "Terror Cell", but when you read it, you realize it's just a phone call between Lori and Bobby. Lori is afraid to tell Bobby what happened, so the "terror cell" is Lori's fear of telling Bobby the truth.**

 **Chapter 41: Glistening Reminiscence: Lola remembers when she formed the Inner Circlet and recruited the 3 people that were the most loyal to Lana, Luna, Luan and Lisa. The gemstones that Leni put into the bangles and circlets are also very shiny and reflective.**

 **Chapter 42: Great Revival: Lola Loud: A reference to the "Great Revival" tracks in the Phoenix Wright series. The most well-known of these is Great Revival: Miles Edgeworth, when you find out that Edgeworth is the prosecutor for the final case in Justice For All, Farewell, My Turnabout.**

 **Chapter 43: Fractured Friendships, Fizzled Flames: Lola so desperately wanted to be Winston's friend...but his father forbade it. Lola also had a crush on him, which is where a "fizzled flame" comes into play.**

 **Chapter 44: Lexicon: A term used to refer to a repository of knowledge, like an encyclopedia. Lexx can recall anything with his photographic memory.**

 **Chapter 45: Let's Play Along: Leif and Lola have their playdate. Leif's brothers try to sabotage it. They just want to playfully tease Leif and congratulate him for making a friend.**

 **Chapter 46: Lighting Up The Darkness: Lana and Lucy hang out. Lana is referred to as a light, whereas Lucy is a very melancholic and dark person. Lana brightened up her day.**

 **Chapter 47: Love's Replacement: Lily tries to shower Lincoln with the love Lynn never gave him. The other sisters also love Lily so much that they want to hang out with her!**

 **Chapter 48: Grand Designs: A grand design is another term for a master plan. Well, there are no master plans here. The only plan is that Leni wants to hang out with Lincoln, and the best way to do that is for him to make clothes alongside her.**

 **Chapter 49: Ionic Bonding: An ionic bond is when electrons transfer themselves to make an element obtain a stable electron configuration. Lisa bonds with Lincoln over their shared love of Lana.**

 **Chapter 50: Comic Relief: Luan's purpose in life. A comic relief is someone who deescalates a tense or dramatic scene with moments of levity. Luan also made a comic book for Lincoln to read that was inspired by the very same comic he made in the episode "Pulp Friction"! Lincoln loves Luan's comic so much that he's reread it about 36 times before we see the comic.**

 **Chapter 51: Chessmaster: Lincoln is one. He taught Lola and Lily how to play. They did beat him, but he was going easy on them. This chapter also has the final Logic Chess match in the entire story!**

 **Chapter 52: Loving Legato: A legato, in musical terminology, is a smooth transition of notes. The Italian translation is "joined together". Just like in chapter 36, all of the siblings' bonds are intertwined with one another.**

 **Chapter 53: A Fool's Promise: Luan promised Lincoln to never prank their family on April Fool's day again.**

 **Chapter 54: Loud Council: It's Lana's version of the United Nations. The Loud siblings form a council to deliberate major disagreements.**

 **Chapter 55: Postlude To Dysfunction: Since the 1st chapter was titled "Prelude To Dysfunction", it makes sense to name the 55th and final chapter "Postlude To Dysfunction", as a postlude signifies the ending. It gives a sense of finality, don't you think?**

 **"Chapter" 56: LH18?: This one isn't really a chapter, it was written to be as vague as possible. It is the only chapter to not have a chapter synopsis, as it is considered to not be one.**

 **Originally, Chapters 17 and 52 would be named "Song Of LOVE" and "Song Of Love", to reference Undertale, as LOVE stands for "Level Of Violence" and not "love". This website thinks it's the same title because one is capitalized and the other isn't. So, I renamed chapter 17 to Affetto Accusations and chapter 52 to Loving Legato. Chapter 32 was going to have the name "Sycophancy vs Loyalty" originally, and it was about Lola choosing to either continue running the TOV or to defect and run Covalence in Lana's absence. Chapter 36 was originally going to be named "Broken Light", to keep up with the theme of Lucy and Lana's poem, however, I found "Linked Together" to be a better title. Apparently, a question mark doesn't count as a title, but you can use it with other characters. I wanted to name "chapter" 56 "?", to keep the mystery, but it wouldn't let me. So, I just put "LH18?" for the title.**

* * *

 **So, how do ghosts work in Sycophant? They can ascend to a higher plane of existence upon leaving their bodies. You know how a spirit is tethered to Earth by the emotions of loved ones, and that accepting their death will allow them to move on? Well, the Louds have accepted Lana's death since May 2nd, so Lana should be able to leave. Lana chooses to stay of her own volition, because she's devoted to her family that much! Lana can materialize as an astral projection to others, she can use telekinesis to lift objects! The more objects she moves at one time, the greater the energy expenditure! She can get fatigued by using too much energy at one time! She can phase parts of her body to be semisolid or transparent at will! Which is how Lana can smack some sense into her siblings and how she can beat up Lynn as a ghost. She can also fire off elemental energy projectiles, as seen with the battle against Lexx. Ghosts can also change their appearance to be however old they want to be. Since Lexx is a ghost too, he has the same abilities.**

* * *

 **This is one of the happier outcomes of Sycophant, as there are many split paths to explore. Here's a list of all of them.**

 **No Such Luck: Accepting Loss: If Lynn had just accepted her loss with grace, we wouldn't even have "No Such Luck"!**

 **No Such Luck: Defending Lincoln: This is what I think would have happened if Lana defended Lincoln if everyone still believed he was bad luck.**

 **"You're bad luck, Lincoln! You can't come!" [closes the doggy door on him]**

 **"Hey! How dare you treat our brother like that!"**

 **[Lana approaches Lola]**

 **"Oh, so you're defending that philistine?"**

 **"Sorry Lana, he's still bad luck."**

 **"I don't care! Let him back in!"**

 **"I have a better idea. Since you love Lincoln so much, why don't you go be with him?"**

 **[Lola locks Lana out of the house]**

 **"Dang it."**

 **Vehicular Manslaughter: Stifled Remark: If Lola had never made that comment, Lincoln would still be wearing the suit and would have not been given his 1-week reprieve. Furthermore, Lana would be too afraid to defend her brother.**

 **Cooling System: Overheat: If Lisa never made the Cooling System, Lincoln would wear the suit. Unfortunately for him, a heat wave swept across Royal Woods and he died from heatstroke because of it. Lana, disgusted at her family's actions, runs away from home. But not before visiting Lincoln's grave.**

 **Bodyswap: Overwork: If Lincoln did all of his sisters' activities, he'd be incapacitated the next day due to fatigue.**

 **Queen Me!: Face The Music: If Lori saw Lana in the room, she would tell her to get out! On the plus side, she doesn't insult Lincoln because she knows it was Lana who entered their room. Chapter 8 wouldn't happen.**

 **Lana dot exe: A Brother's Sacrifice: Upon seeing what the Trinity has done to Lana, Lincoln willfully wears the suit for until the superstition ends. Working himself to the brink of death just to appease his sisters so they'll leave Lana alone! Eventually, he does die. Lana visits Lincoln's grave and runs away from home.**

 **Of Mud And Mascara: Assassinate Lola's Reputation: Lana comes home and enters her room. Lola found out that she lost and beats Lana up in a livid fury! She calms down, but she hurt Lana pretty bad...**

 **Ex-sanguine: Healthy Heart: Lana is discharged from the hospital after 3 days. The family is repaired.**

 **Faded Light: All My Fault: Lynn admits to Lincoln that she accidently killed Lana. Lincoln reassures her it's an accident and the 2 make up. They grieve Lana's death together.**

 **Affetto Accusations: Appreciative Music: Luna decides not to perform. Nothing much changes here.**

 **Smile For The Camera: Corporal Loud: Lynn Sr uses the platinum knuckles to discipline Lincoln for causing the events of Sycophant to happen. Rita is forced to call the cops on him. They arrest him and charge him with child abuse.**

 **Aria Of Sorrow: Suicidal Spiral: If Luan didn't sing her woes away with Luna, or something stopped her, she turns to the medicine cabinet to cope with Lana's death. She takes methylphenidate. Luan calls out her family for letting this happen to Lana and Lincoln and caustically chastises Rita. Why her? Because of that joke she made about selling Lincoln's furniture, Luan never forgot about that! She even says that she's the one who killed Luan before dying (methylphenidate's brand name is Ritalin). Before she dies, Luan tells Luna to enact operation Lunar Eclipse, which is just Luna shadowing Lincoln for the rest of his life, trying to protect him from anything that might harm him.**

 **Name Game: Ascension: Lana ascends to a higher plane of existence. She is no longer with her family anymore...**

 **After All I've Done: Together Again: Lola kills herself to be with Lana. Without Lola, the Inner Circlet is never formed. The Trinity of Violence disbands much faster after Lola's death.**

 **A New Leif: Suffering Alone: Lola rejects Leif's friendship, he runs away crying.**

 **Sick Of It: Don't Give In: Lincoln refuses to fight Chandler and walks away, which infuriates Chandler! He savagely attacks Lincoln, but is caught and expelled from school because of it.**

 **Dissolution of TOV: Unrestrained: If Luna and Lincoln didn't watch her, Luan would try to give a no holds barred beat-down to Lynn for everything she's done! Luan easily wins the fight, leaving Lynn on the brink of death.**

 **Power Struggle: Finish The Job: Lynn manages to kill Lincoln before being subdued. The rest of the family cry in anguish over their second loss, while Lynn is cheering that she got a murderer off the street. She still gets arrested. The house becomes broken.**

 **Power Struggle: For Lana: Lisa kills Lynn with the AV Incapacitator, she has avenged Lana.**

 **Trials and Tribulations: Shot At Redemption: In the original version of this chapter, when Luan testifies about LL-4 she has a breakdown and realizes Lynn was the one who killed Lana. She pulls out a gun and reassures everyone that it's those stupid "BANG!" flag guns...it's not, it's real. From there you can kill Lynn.**

 **Trials and Tribulations: Avenged: Luan kills Lynn, she then turns the gun on herself, you choose whether or not Luan dies, too! You have 10 seconds, or the bailiff will restrain Luan and arrest her!**

 **Trials and Tribulations: I'll Be With You: Luan kills herself after killing Lynn. The courtroom is adjourned. Looks like Lynn's verdict was guilty after all...**

 **Trials and Tribulations: For You And For Her: Luan decides not to kill herself after killing Lynn. She willingly surrenders to police and is charged with Lynn's murder. She's convicted and sentenced to life in prison. On the plus side, Lincoln visits her any chance he can get.**

 **Trials and Tribulations: I'm Not Like You: Luan doesn't pull out her gun after her breakdown. The trial continues on as normal.**

 **Must Be Gone: Reconciliation: Lynn begs Lincoln for forgiveness after almost killing him. He does forgive her, even if he was wondering if he should really forgive her after almost killing him.**

 **Great Revival: Lola Loud: Fail Gil DeLily's Challenge: Lola gets a low score and is eliminated. At least Lindsey Sweetwater blew it and got a 0/30.**

 **Fractured Friendships, Fizzled Flames: Holier Than Thou: Anionia never recited that Bible passage, Ignis executes Winston with Zachariah's .44 magnum.**

 **Lexicon: No Lana: Lana didn't tag along. Lexx had no one to fight. He still tried to stop Lola with his brothers in the next chapter.**

 **Just Play Along: Good Brothers: The Loud brothers don't sabotage Leif's playdate with Lola. It went very well!**

 **A Fool's Promise: No Mercy: Lincoln doesn't apologize to Luan, even after she tried to kill herself. Luna now hates him and Luan tries to desperately become his sister again.**

 **Yeah, suffice to say, aside from Healthy Heart, this is the best option.**

* * *

 **The true antagonist of the entire Loud House cartoon is Dysfunction. Dysfunction is an invisible corrupting force that is produced whenever the Loud siblings get into conflict with one another. A purified gaseous form of it looks like a red, black and purple mix of clouds. Exposure to Dysfunction leads the person to become irritable and they become defiant. If a highly concentrated mass of it corrupts a person, it can drive them to harm or kill the person they had an original disagreement with! The amount and thresholds vary depending on the amount of people, but here are some formulas that Lisa made to help us quantify Dysfunction.**

 **Amount Of Dysfunction**

 **(square root 4ac/2a ) λ*2*(a^2) * (a*100) *(q + (xbd)) , where a is amount of people, b is the first sibling's age and c is base number of conflict persons' age/2, d is the second sibling's age, Lambda constant is 11, q is the thing that caused the siblings to argue, while x is the intensity of the argument that the thing caused. Lisa is the only person able to quantify q and x into workable numbers. Disregard q and xbd in this example.**

 **Square root 4*11* ((13+11)/2)/ 22*11 *11 * 2 * 11 squared *1100**

 **Square root 44*12/ 242 *11* 2 * 121*1100**

 **Square root 528/242 *11 *2 * 121*1100**

 **Square root 2.2 *11*2*121*1100**

 **1.5*11*2*121*1100**

 **16.5*2*121*1100**

 **33*121*1100**

 **3933*1100**

 **4,326,300 AMASD units between the siblings of the Loud house if Lincoln and Lynn fought. And this is just a dual conflict, imagine if it was an undecuple-sided conflict! That number would be in the octillions!**

 **AMASD- A unit of dysfunction, it stands for A Misery And Strife-Dysfunction Unit. It is incredibly small and 1 unit will not do anything to a person, but 4 million, 326 thousand, 300 units definitely will make an impact in the house!**

 **With that our parameters are set.**

 **Dysfunction Thresholds for the Loud House**

 **2 sibling conflict- 10 million units**

 **3 sibling conflict- 25 million units**

 **4 sibling conflict- 100 million units**

 **5 sibling conflict- 150 million units**

 **6 sibling conflict- 300 million units**

 **7 sibling conflict- 610 million units**

 **8 sibling conflict- 880 million units**

 **9 sibling conflict- 1 billion units**

 **10 sibling conflict- 50 billion units**

 **11 sibling conflict- 199 billion units**

 **Rate Of Decay**

 **Dysfunction usually dissipates quickly, but because there are literally millions of AMASD units of dysfunction to be diffused, it seems like the tension isn't being broken down. Even worse is when the person doesn't want to stop the conflict. Their animosity changes the AMASED unit into a Grudge unit, which is even worse than an AMASD unit. Because Grudge units dissipate way longer than normal AMASD units. Here is Lisa's formula for the rate of decay on a Dysfunction cluster.**

 **dn/dt-λN, which is solved with N(t)=N(0)^e^-λt, where N(t) is the amount of Dysfunction units, t is the time elapsed, N(0) is the original amount of Dysfunction units before the decay, e is 2.178**

 **λ in this formula is variable and not constant like in the original rate of decay formula because in this case, Lisa has derived that Lambda corresponds to the total age of the Loud siblings combined, as age never stays constant, so to does the Lambda constant. Now let's solve our example.**

 **N(t)= 4,326,300^2.178^- 111.250004t , we're trying to find the time to get to a near 0 asymptote.**

 **To find the time, we need to use this formula:**

 **1=0 integral sign infinity c* N(0)^e^-λt * dt=c *N(0)/λ**

 **Using calculus to solve, we get c= λ/N(0)**

 **Plugging in our numbers into this calculus formula, we get c= 111.250004/4,326,300**

 **c=2.57*10^-5**

 **Then we use another formula to use C to find t using an integration by parts calculus formula.**

 **τ= t = 0 integral sign infinity t*c*N(0)^e^-λt * dt= 0 integral sign infinity λte^-λt * dt= 1/λ**

 **Plugging in our numbers gets us τ= t = 0 integral sign infinity t*(2.57*10^-5)*4,326,300^2.178^- 111.250004t * dt= 0 integral sign infinity 111.250004t2.178^-111.250004t * dt= 1/111.250004**

 **Condensing the formula means that:**

 **τ= t = 0 integral sign infinity t*(2.57*10^-5)*4,326,300^2.178^- 111.250004t * dt= 0 integral sign infinity 111.250004t2.178^-111.250004t * dt=0.009**

 **in layman's terms:**

 **t=2.57*10^-5t*dt=242.302509t^-111.250004t*dt=0.009**

 **5.5*10^-266t2*dt=0.009**

 **6.1* 10^-264t2=dt**

 **6.1*10^-264t=d**

 **2.57*10^-5*d**

 **Rewriting...**

 **5.5*10^-5=6.1*10^-264=d2**

 **6.1*10^-264=d2*2.57*10^-5**

 **d2=2.37*10^-259**

 **d=1.185*10^-259**

 **We found the decay rate, we literally have EVERY variable EXCEPT time. Plugging our newfound variable into our original calculation gives us...**

 **1.185*10^-259*4,326,300/1.185*10^-259t= -111.250004*4,326,300**

 **Solving...**

 **5.127*10^-253/ 1.185*10^-259t=-481,300,892**

 **Since time can't be negative, flip the equation around.**

 **-5.127*10^-253/-1.185*10^-259t=481,300,892**

 **4.33*10^6t=481,300,892**

 **4,330,000t=481,300,892**

 **t=111.15494**

 **Finally, we have our answer. 111.15494 units of time, but which unit? It would be an attosecond, which is 10^-18 seconds long. Keep in mind that it takes 111.15494 attoseconds to disperse one AMASD unit of dysfunction. Considering outside factors that can introduce more dysfunction units, it's probably a good thing that dysfunction units disperse this rapidly!**

 **How does Lisa do this stuff everyday?! It took me a long time to solve this problem!**

 **And that is everything there is left to talk about Sycophant. This story is officially complete. Except for updating the sociopath chart, there is nothing left to cover. Thanks for reading my first fanfic.**


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